Afleveringen
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Paternal listeners email the show regularly with requests to cover various topics on the show. Some are serious and some are silly, but one request just keeps coming: How do we teach our kids resilience? Dr. Dennis S. Charney is a leading expert in the study of resilience and has spent decades examining the causes of anxiety, fear and depression. He’s also interviewed prisoners of war, victims of rape and assault, survivors of natural disasters, and frontline healthcare workers about the traits that have helped them overcome trauma, all in an effort to better understand how we can all learn to be more resilient.
On this episode of Paternal, Dr. Charney discusses some of the most compelling factors to building resilience in yourself and your kids, including facing your fears, developing social groups, and establishing core values for you and your family. He also recounts a life-threatening experience that tested his own resilience, decades after living a charmed life studying the challenges of others. Dr. Charney is the co-author of Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges.
Episode Timestamps:
00:00 - 05.30 - Introduction
05:30 - 07:59 - A life-threatening test of resilience
07:59 - 13:27 - Defining resilience and studying trauma victims
13:27 - 18:00 - On facing your fears
18:00 - 19:50 - On the values of optimism
19:50 - 22:15 - On developing social groups and the connection to resilience
22:15 - 24:18 - Discussing the value of role models
24:18 - 28:05 - On identifying your core beliefs, values and family history
28:05 - 29:46 - Discussing the connection between gratitude and resilience
29:46 - 32:15 - On what parents get wrong when they think about teaching kids resilience
Read The Transcript For This Episode
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Rob Flanagan is a husband and father who lives with his family outside of Boulder, Colorado, and roughly one year ago he and his wife Dana began an ordeal that changed their lives. After a few days of fighting a cold and a slight fever while missing out on attending kindergarten, their daughter Saoirse was suddenly hospitalized and then intubated, and it was unclear if she would ever wake up.
On this episode of Paternal, Flanagan recounts the experience of spending days in the ICU with his wife while they awaited word on the health of their daughter, what the doctor’s diagnosis meant for their family, and how he learned to embrace both acceptance and hope on the path to becoming a better father.
Episode Timestamps:
00:00 - 05:43 - Introduction
05:43 - 11:54 - A frightening trip to the hospital
11:54 - 18:48 - Intubation and the diagnosis
18:48 - 23:13 - Asking for help and dealing with complex emotions
25:06 - 30:24 - A reawakening and an uncertain future
30:24 - 37:45 - A new reality, and changes in parenting
37:45 - 41:16 - Balancing what is, and what could have beenRead The Transcript For This Episode
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Growing up on the Wasauksing First Nation indigenous reserve in Ontario, journalist and bestselling author Waubgeshig Rice learned early in his life about the value of culture and community. But as an Anishinaabe young man schooled in the challenges his ancestors faced as indigenous people in Canada, Rice was also keenly aware of what happens when a community loses its connection to its history, traditions and culture, and how men can easily fall victim to the effects of intergenerational trauma.
On this 2022 episode of Paternal, Rice recounts his experience on Wasauksing First Nation and his sometimes conflicted emotions about growing up on the reserve, as well as the challenges his own father faced in trying to reclaim the family’s Anishinaabe identity. Rice - who penned the celebrated apocalyptic thriller Moon of the Crusted Snow as well as the recently released follow-up Moon of the Turning Leaves, and was dubbed “one of the leading voices reshaping North American science fiction, horror and fantasy” by the New York Times - also discusses the emotional strain he experienced after the complicated birth of his first son, and how masculinity and vulnerability are valued on “the rez.” -
Most people know Kwame Alexander as the Newbery Medal-winning author of The Crossover, the bestselling children’s book about two young brothers hooked on basketball. Long before he was an award-winning author, however, Alexander spent his time writing love poems, in an attempt to impress women and find his voice as a poet and a young man.
But three decades and two marriages later, Alexander is a 54-year-old father of two now reconsidering those relationships from his past, and what exactly he knows - and doesn’t know - about love. And in order to do that, he’s thinking more about the marriage his parents modeled for him as a child, as well as what he learned about love and relationships from his father, a hard-nosed Baptist minister who rarely showed affection.
Alexander’s book, Why Fathers Cry at Night, is available wherever you buy books, as is his latest collection of poems, This Is the Honey: An Anthology of Contemporary Black Poets.Episode Timestamps:
00:00 - 07:25 - Intro
07:25 - 09:50 - on learning to love from watching our parents’ relationship
09:50 - 19:47 - discussing Kwame Alexander’s father’s version of tough love
19:47 - 24:26 - digging into his father’s jazz collection
26:31 - 32:40 - on the vulnerability required to write about broken relationships
32:40 - 35:36 - on talking to our parents and children about love
Read The Transcript For This Episode
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Longtime political journalist Tim Alberta spent more than three years speaking with pastors and churchgoers across the country in a search for answers about what’s happening in contemporary Evangelicalism. Why were so many congregations becoming more political, and seemingly less invested in traditional Christian values? Why were they so motivated by fear? How could so many Evangelicals support Donald Trump, who doesn’t share their beliefs? And what do all these dramatic changes mean for the future of Evangelicals in the United States, including Alberta's three young sons?
On this episode of Paternal, Alberta discusses his life as an Evangelical Christian, the influence of his born-again Christian father, what he learned about Evangelicalism from speaking with today’s church leaders, and why some churchgoers confronted him at his own father’s funeral about politics in the era of Trump.
Alberta is a staff writer for The Atlantic and the author of the New York Times bestselling book The Kingdom, The Power and The Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism, which is available now wherever you buy books.
Episode Timestamps:
00:00 - 05:56 - Introduction and description of The Kingdom, The Power and The Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism
05:56 - 13:11 - Background on Tim Alberta’s father, senior pastor Richard Alberta
13:11 - 16:56 - On the experience of growing up as a pastor’s kid
16:56 - 19:30 - Discussing his father’s funeral and blowback from members of the church congregation
21:05 - 27:01 - On Evangelicals, idolatry, and fighting for America as if salvation itself hangs in the balance
27:01 - 31:03 - On Evangelicals and fear of a changing society
27:01 - 31:03 - On Evangelicals and fear of a changing society
31:03 - 35:27 - Why Evangelicals have rallied around Trump
35:27 - 38:50 - The challenge of inheriting faith from your father
38:50 - 44:32 - On what kind of faith he wants for his kidsRead The Transcript For This Episode
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Curtis Chin spent most of his childhood looking for a comfortable place to sit. And that was especially difficult for Chin, who grew up in the 1970s and 80s as one of six kids raised by parents who owned Chung’s Cantonese Cuisine, one of the most revered Chinese restaurants in Detroit. Despite its location in one of the roughest neighborhoods in the city, the restaurant sold more than four thousand egg rolls every week and was frequented by celebrities like Joni Mitchell, Smokey Robinson, and Senator Eugene McCarthy.
On this episode of Paternal, Chin reflects on the experience of growing up in the sweaty back kitchen of a Chinese restaurant, and reflects on what he learned from his father, a charismatic waiter who happily welcomed local dignitaries from City Hall along with pimps and prostitutes from down the block. Chin also discusses the challenge of being a young gay man during the height of the AIDS crisis, and the legacy of Chung’s, which made an unexpected return to his life long after he thought he’d left it behind.
Chin’s memoir, Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant, is available wherever you buy books.
Episode Timestamps:
00:00 - 05:51 - Introduction
05:51 - 07:34 - Discussing the popularity of Chinese restaurants in America
07:34 - 11:20 - The role of Chung’s Cantonese Cuisine in Detroit
11:20 - 15:54 - Introduction to Curtis Chin’s father and mother, and gender dynamics in the restaurant
15:54 - 21:13 - Discussing Curtis Chin’s father and when Hollywood actor Yul Brynner came into the restaurant
23:00 - 31:37 - On coming of age, and fears of coming out
31:37 - 37:36 - The legacy of Chung’s Cantonese CuisineRead The Transcript For This Episode
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Paternal closes out the year with a collection of the best conversations from 2023, curating five of the best segments from the past year into one collection. On this episode, Paternal guests discuss a variety of topics including the challenges of raising mixed-race kids, how father-son relationships impacted some of the biggest rock acts of the 1990s, how burnout at work can affect your parenting, dealing with grief after the loss of a partner, and how we can hold all the good and bad of life together in the same hands.
Guests on this episode of Paternal include comedian and filmmaker W. Kamau Bell, rock critic and podcast host Rob Harvilla, author and professor Jonathan Malesic, author and professor Matthew Salesses, and New York Times bestselling author and poet Clint Smith. Stay tuned for all new episodes of Paternal in 2024.
Episode Timestamps:
00:00 - 02:01 - Introduction
02:01 - 05:29 - W. Kamau Bell on discussions with his wife about racism and feminism
05:29 - 10:28 - W. Kamau Bell on raising mixed-race kids
11:31 - 19:47 - Rob Harvilla on father/son themes in 90s rock songs
19:47 - 22:34 - Rob Harvilla on discussing hard subjects with his kids
23:29 - 25:33 - Jonathan Malesic on his experience with burnout
25:33 - 34:16 - Jonathan Malesic on the three criteria for burnout and how men deal with burnout differently that women
35:23 - 40:02 - Matthew Salesses on the death of his wife and the connection to K Dramas
40:02 - 44:51 - Matthew Salesses on coping with grief with his kids
46:12 - 52:22 - Clint Smith on becoming a father and the double-sided nature of parenting
52:22 - 57:17 - Clint Smith on what he’s good at what and he struggles with as a father
Read The Transcript For This Episode
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the latest in a series of special episodes, this time to discuss the connection between the social construction of masculinity and men’s relationship with sex and intimacy. Men receive convoluted messages about what sex and intimacy are supposed to look like from an early age, but can they really take stock of what they’ve learned and change their behavior as they get older?
Dr. Addis also discusses how boys’ early exposure to intimacy and vulnerability can shape their sex lives as men, the metaphor of men’s bodies as performative machines, why it’s so hard for men to discuss sex with one another, and solutions for men looking to reexamine how they think about intimacy and improve their sex life.
Dr. Addis is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at michaeladdiscoaching.com.
Episode Timestamps:
00:00 - 06:16 - Introduction
06:16 - 11:39 - The connection between sex and familiarity with intimacy
10:44 - 18:37 - The idea of man as a performative machine
20:13 - 26:12 - On why men don’t talk about sex with other men
26:12 - 33:08 - Solutions for being more comfortable discussing sex and intimacy
Read The Transcript For This Episode
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Back in 2016, Brandon Stosuy began to notice something strange about many of the people around him. Seemingly no matter where he went - jogging in Brooklyn, riding the subway into Manhattan, waiting for a plane at JFK - he spotted someone crying. Stosuy has spent the past seven years thinking about those people and what brought them to tears, and now he’s become known to a number of his friends, thousands of strangers, and even a few famous rock musicians as The Crying Guy.
On this episode of Paternal, Stosuy reflects on those first few people he saw in tears in New York and how he turned those observations into a collection of essays from more than 100 people about the last time they cried and why, including death, childbirth, breakups, or simply listening to the right song at the right time.
Sad Happens: A Celebration of Tears is available now wherever you buy books.
Episode Timestamps:
00:00 - 03:09 - Intro
03:09 - 05:51 - On seeing people all over New York City crying
05:51 - 09:33 - The origins of the book Sad Happens, and a history of crying
09:33 - 15:47 - Songs that make us cry, and The National
16:22 - 19:04 - Discussing why people cry on airplanes
19:04 - 21:55 - The connection between crying and your job
21:55 - 27:21 - On how to communicate to your kids about crying
Read The Transcript For This Episode
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Isaac Fitzgerald has a large tattoo on his right forearm of Saint Jude, the patron saint of impossible or lost causes. It might seem like a fitting mark for a man who resorted to drugs and alcohol to endure a childhood full of insecurity and violence, but Saint Jude is also the patron saint of hope. And for Fitzgerald - the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir Dirtbag, Massachusetts - hope lies in the communities where others might never expect to look.
On this episode of Paternal, Fitzgerald recounts why an unstable home life in rural Massachusetts led him to seek comfort in teenage fight clubs and bars, and why he’s spent years distrusting feelings of security. He also discusses why he sees his father in a different light as an adult, and how a therapist taught him the real meaning of forgiveness.
Fitzgerald’s 2022 memoir Dirtbag, Massachusetts, is now available in paperback wherever you buy books.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Bill McKibben doesn’t exactly do memoirs. But the latest work from the bestselling author and influential environmental activist is about as close as he’ll get, examining why two crucial moments from his childhood - an anti-war protest followed by the rejection of low and middle-income housing in his otherwise affluent Massachusetts suburb - helped symbolize a dramatic and costly shift to individualism in America during the 1970s.
On this episode of Paternal, McKibben reflects on those moments and discusses why the rise of the American suburb did so much damage to the environment and our sense of community. He also discusses the impact left on him by his father, the hope for the future that he sees in his daughter, and why he’s rallying Baby Boomers in the final act of their lives.
McKibben’s latest book, The Flag, The Cross, and the Station Wagon, is available wherever you buy books.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Acclaimed author Andre Dubus III once wrote that he’s drawn to writing about “working class men who work with their hands … men up against it who only know one or two ways how to get free, both of which can hurt other people or themselves.” Dubus knows from experience. He grew up in the 1970s and 80s with a famous but notoriously absent father in the mill towns along the Merrimack River in Massachusetts, always eager to throw a punch if it proved his worth as a man. His experiences led to the celebrated memoir Townie, dubbed by one critic as “the most sensitive and gripping account of male violence imaginable.”
On this episode of Paternal, Dubus discusses how he learned to perform masculinity with his fists, the influence of his literary father, how prisoners and police officers alike responded to the violence in Townie, and how his three grown children reacted to reading about their father’s past life as a man fighting to get free.Dubus’ latest novel, Such Kindness, is available now wherever you buy books.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Over the past few years comedian and filmmaker W. Kamau Bell has become one of America’s most recognizable purveyors of humor and smart social commentary. And his success is due in large part to his willingness to tackle thorny topics like race, sexual assault, education, and policing, be it as a standup comic, an Emmy-nominated reality show host, or from behind the camera as a documentary filmmaker.
On this episode of Paternal, Bell discusses his latest film 1000% Me: Growing Up Mixed and his own personal experience of raising his three mixed-race daughters, male vulnerability and dad jokes in his comedy, and how he’s reckoned with the truth about “America’s Dad,” Bill Cosby.
Bell’s film 1000% Me: Growing Up Mixed is now streaming on MAX.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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When Israel “DT” Del Toro, Jr. was 12 years old, he made a promise to his ailing father that he would always watch over his younger siblings, and take care of his family. When he was a 30 year-old Staff Sergeant in the Air Force, he made a promise to his wife and young son that he would return safely from Afghanistan. But then everything changed with a flash of light and an explosion that literally shook the ground beneath his feet, leaving Del Toro, Jr. severely wounded and wondering if he would live another day, let alone keep any of the promises he’d made to those he loved.
On this episode of Paternal, Del Toro, Jr. looks back on a life that took him from a working-class neighborhood in East Joliet, Illinois to the mountains of Afghanistan and eventually to a hospital in Texas, where he fought for the chance to reunite with his young son after suffering burns over 80 percent of his body. Del Toro, Jr. is a retired Senior Master Sergeant and received both the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart for his service, and he is the author of the 2023 memoir A Patriot’s Promise, available now wherever you buy books.Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Roughly two decades ago filmmaker Jay Rosenblatt started a ritual with his daughter Ella that he never expected would lead anywhere but the family archives. But the project that unfolded - an annual series of questions he asked Ella on her birthday until she turned 18 - eventually led to an acclaimed portrayal of a father-daughter relationship, and an Academy Award nomination.
On this episode of Paternal, Rosenblatt looks back on the origins of his celebrated short film How Do You Measure A Year?, the questions he asked of his daughter each year, and why the film serves as an intimate example of what it looks like when kids grow up in the blink of an eye.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Alexi Lalas knows all about opportunity. As a professional soccer player and member of the United States national team during the 1990s, Lalas used the global platform of the 1994 FIFA World Cup to introduce the world to his carefully cultivated image of a rebellious red-headed rockstar with a love for the world’s game, and life’s never been the same since.
More than two decades later Lalas is still in the public eye as a television analyst for Fox Sports at this summer’s Women’s World Cup in Australia and New Zealand, but fame does come with a price. Lalas constantly battles with soccer fans on social media and has even received death threats from his harshest critics over the years, and some fans have no problem harassing him when they spot him in public.
On this episode of Paternal from 2018, Lalas discusses how he tries to shield his two young kids from the vitriol he receives on social media, how the World Cup and the public persona he created back in the 90s changed his fortunes forever, and why he teaches his kids to constantly be aware of their surroundings, always open to the next great opportunity in life.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Longtime rock critic Rob Harvilla has made a lengthy career out of his love for the '90s-era songs that shaped his days as a teenager and college student. He’s the host of the hit podcast “60 Songs That Explain the ‘90s” and he’s built a devoted fan base of equally obsessed music fans while exploring songs from artists like Nirvana, Madonna, REM, and the Wu-Tang Clan. But despite his success, sometimes he just likes to mow the lawn with an old Soul Asylum album in his headphones before he gets back to his life as a dad.
On this episode of Paternal, Harvilla discusses fatherhood themes in the songs from some of the biggest artists of the '90s, the origin of the term “Dad Rock” and why you’re probably listening to it, the song he sang to his newborn son, and how he feels about his kids streaming songs at the push of a button instead of waiting for hours to record them off of MTV, like a real music fan should.
Harvilla’s podcast “60 Songs That Explain the ‘90s” is available on Spotify.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Jake Tapper has been a leading figure in American media for more than a decade, serving as the chief DC anchor at CNN, the host of the network’s weekday show “The Lead with Jake Tapper,” and the co-host of the Sunday public-affairs show, “State of the Union.” During that time he’s interviewed some of the most consequential and controversial figures in American politics, and in the process learned a few things about why powerful men are so reluctant to admit when they’re wrong, and what it costs them in the end.
On this episode of Paternal, Tapper discusses how he balanced a high-powered career in journalism with a life as a father of two children, how his own father influenced his upbringing in Philadelphia, and the traits that make a successful leader. Tapper’s new book, All the Demons Are Here, is available wherever you buy books.Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Good food has always been an integral part of Matt Moore’s family. As the grandson of a man who helped run a popular food store in southern Georgia and the grand nephew of a soldier who endured World War II in part on his family’s famous fried chicken, Moore has always been connected to the role food can play in a family’s story. And now, as a Nashville-based cook, father, and the author of five popular cookbooks, Moore spends his days cooking for his family and preaching how other men can make good food a bigger part of their own story too.
On this episode of Paternal, Moore discusses how a neighborhood cookbook first turned him onto cooking, why he’s invested in learning more about his local butchers, how much meat he eats and where he gets the best cuts of meat for a summer barbecue, and how he uses cookouts to build his male friendships. Moore’s latest cookbook, Butcher on the Block, is available now wherever you buy books.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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Paternal celebrates Father’s Day by paying tribute to all the new dads out there celebrating the holiday for the first time, this time by bringing back three of the show’s most beloved guests to weigh in on how they survived the early days of parenting. The guests weigh in on what surprised them about becoming a father, what they did right as new dads, what they did wrong, and which piece of advice they would give their new-dad selves all these years later.
Guests on this special episode of Paternal include Seattle radio DJ John Richards, Newbery Medal-winning author and poet Kwame Alexander, and politician and author Jason Kander.
Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at [email protected] with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.
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