Afleveringen
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Back in November Marcus and Luke picked their England starting XI for Euro 2024. Four months and a lot of football later it’s now time for the lads to re-visit their selections. Are they still starting Harry Maguire and Kalvin Phillips? Where should England play Phil Foden? Strike up the band, we’ve officially got Euros fever!
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Marcus, Andy, Luke and Vish are here with some consoling words for our Welsh brethren, after their Euros journey fell at the final hurdle last night. Here’s hoping they triumph in their next Penalty Competition™.
Elsewhere, England let the handbrake off and nabbed a draw against Belgium - might be worth putting the handbrake back on, as it turns out. Plus, Georgia get to showcase their incredible bread selection at the Euros for the first time and Vish dredges up some dead Scotsmen to inspire them ahead of their summer escapades.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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England may have lost to Brazil but you can’t create the feelgood factor without having a bad moment first, right? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete hold onto that hope and book Kobbie Mainoo a seat on the plane after seeing that one turn in the second half. Oooft.
Elsewhere, the lads take heart in realising France are now sh*t after they lost to Germany and James McFadden vows never to return to Amsterdam after Scotland got gubbed by the Netherlands. Plus, what objects could a linesman hide in his flag? Pete has some thoughts...
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The narrative that has been created around Southgate is one of squandered opportunities and an inability to match tactics against the elite in Europe. Is that fair? Would a penalty shootout win against Italy have changed everything? Marcus, Andy and Vish explore that on today’s show.
Elsewhere, Vish makes his case for Brazil as the defining international team in football history. Plus, could Bagpipes be the new Vuvuzela?
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It’s international week! Marcus, Andy, Vish and Jim leave the boffins behind for Anthony Hopkins and Robbie Savage giving Wales’ next team-talk, Matt Berry giving England’s next team-talk, and a heartbreaking defeat for San Marino…
We also discuss Nike’s change to the St George’s cross on the latest England kit which has led to sleepless nights for all of us and the heel returns to Jack’s Encyclopaedia. It’s Vish’s Vagabonds!
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As a special Thursday treat, we're bringing you this week's Patreon-exclusive edition of Ramble Uncut! Luke reveals what happened when a man donned a Santa costume to calm down a group of angry Celtic fans, Jim thinks he's found the worst taxi driver in the world, and a listener informs us of a stunning revelation pertaining to blimps...
To join the conversation every single week, head over to patreon.com/footballramble! You'll also join over thriving Discord community with thousands of other Friends of the Ramble. So, what are you waiting for?
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Kobbie Mainoo is the latest addition to Gareth’s Governors so naturally, Marcus is swinging from the chandelier. Before that however, the boffins at the Premier League are forcing Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish to wade through an annoying amount of admin after Nottingham Forest’s points deduction. Maybe that’s the real deterrent?
Elsewhere, the Ramblers get hyped for Wales' huge Euros play-off, Vish tries to determine if he has eaten in the same Nandos as Bukayo Saka and Jim reveals that Frank Sinatra almost played John McClane in Die Hard. Yippee Ki‐Yay!
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Vish is on the pod, Vish is on the pod!! Today, Pete celebrated the return of the man of the bat by going through his old tweets. Concerning…
Elsewhere, Luke tells Marcus, Vish and Pete that he thinks Man United vs Liverpool was the barn-burner of the season. However, he also reveals that it wasn’t even the most exciting thing to happen this weekend after he had a bust up on X with Matt Le Tissier’s daughter-in-law. On a related note, Marcus also tells us how a “jocular slap” from Sean Dyche almost ruined Everton’s warm weather training camp.
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Are Arcade Fire bigger than Arsenal? Are Hula Hoops bigger than Man City? Should you play without a goalkeeper? How many defenders do you really need at a corner?
Just a small sample of the questions Marcus, Luke and Jim get stuck into on today’s Mailbag.
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Marcus, Luke and Jim whizz round the best moments from last night’s European Battle of the Banter, as plenty of English sides impressed and Anthony Taylor delivered the best mugging off you’ll ever see from a ref.
We then look ahead to this weekend’s FA Cup quarter-finals, as Man City face a beleaguered Newcastle and Man Utd face a lawsuit from their own staff. Away from that cup magic, we also prepare Arsenal’s application for the Saudi Mega League™ and Barclays Corporate Entertainment serves up a relegation ding dong!
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Arsenal’s penalty shootout win over Porto was so exhilarating that even the crowd were exhausted at the end - so how do you think a 41 year-old Pepe felt?
Marcus, Jim, Pete and Andy breakdown the game and ask whether Martin Ødegaard could play football in a train station Pret a Manger. Plus, Pete tells us how to hack the UEFA computers ahead of next season’s Champions League draw and Jim has an idea for how Gareth Southgate can get a lifeless Jordan Henderson on the pitch at the Euros.
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Chelsea delivered a huge blow to Newcastle’s ambitions for the rest of the season – and a huge blow to Andy Brassell’s hopes of watching them play the runners-up from the Slovenian top-flight next season in the Europa Conference League. And that’s all coming from what could have been the real True Geordie, Pete Donaldson.
Andy joins Pete to react to Chelsea’s 3-2 win over an increasingly beleaguered Newcastle, who Pete describes with probably the most unflattering simile in the history of football analysis. The lads discuss a chaotic game where Cole Palmer dazzled again, Mykhailo Mudryk thankfully didn’t offer out another fan again, and Mauricio Pochettino didn’t cancel dinner with his wife again. Plus, an unexpected appearance from Adam Sandler…
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What a weekend in the Prem! And after all the controversy, Pete has a brand new innovation for refereeing. Introducing… The No Context Man, sponsored by Ronseal!
Unlike Andy Townsend, Pete, Andy and Jim have their vouchers for the football buffet and tuck right in. How did Liverpool manage to somehow feel disappointed with a draw having started with that lineup against Man City? Why is Mikel Arteta at it again on his whiteboard? And Neil Warnock’s left Aberdeen ALREADY!?
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Jim, Andy and Rhythmic Pete Donaldson are back with another rummage in the postbag, addressing listener questions and problems with the poise and dignity you’ve come to expect.
We start by wondering what aspects of other sports football should steal - a draft system? Pausing for afternoon tea? Mario Balotelli smashing up a car?
We also place a few of our favourite pre-Premier League footballers in some 2024 line-ups and decide which teams should change their kit colours for prison jumpsuits.
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Pete, Andy and Jim run the rule over last night’s European action – and then turn to the big one, Liverpool vs Man City, Klopp vs Pep, Trent vs… Haaland.
The lads discuss that particular war of words – plus, Roma welcome Brighton with an obscene banner about the Queen and Gary Neville is set to meet the Glazers. And some glazers. Join us!
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The Champions League is back! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete run the rule over last night’s clashes, which proved that all you need for European success is a couple of brave English boys and King Kylian.
We also check in with some potential Mauricio Pochettino alternatives at the Bridge, Richarlison auditions for Curb Your Enthusiasm and Sean Dyche parachutes in to save the UK government. Plus: which McDonald’s menu item would make the best shin pads?
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On a bruising night for Sheffield United, Marcus and Andy pick apart their season and whether it was always destined to end this way.
They also rub their hands over what looks to be the most exciting Premier League title race in years between Arsenal, Man City and Liverpool, and decide that Kai Havertz’s random milestone is definitely worth a sparkler or two. Come join us!
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Mark Clattenburg is banging on the door of the studio asking for answers, but we just about managed to keep him out and record a brand new Ramble!
Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete discuss controversy at the City Ground, have a stern word with Phil Foden about how to fire a crossbow, and Pete shares some of his own tales from the BRITs after Ivan Toney pops up there!
Marcus also makes an extra spot in the England squad for a certain in-form England midfielder in Turkey…
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What are the characteristics of a great derby? Are half and half scarves REALLY that bad? Do we criticise refs too much? Who are the most unexpected famous fans of our clubs?
Marcus, Luke and Andy have the keys to answer those questions on today’s Mailbag.
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It’s Manchester derby weekend! And there’s one question on everyone’s lips here at the Ramble: will a pie be thrown?
Marcus, Luke and Andy talk about those stunning scenes at the Edinburgh derby and ask whether Erik Ten Hag should really be asking for an apology from Fulham’s TikTok account.
Luke and Andy lock horns over the Paul Pogba ban and then over Jack’s Encyclopaedia, where there is perhaps the most unexpected winning answer in Ramble history. David Icke is all we’re saying. Join us for a Friday blockbuster!
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