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  • Classic narcissists, larger than life, bombastic, charismatic to some, sail through their days in the fast lane---always moving to their next cascade of narcissistic supply. If they are very successful they have more opportunities to be adored, praised and rewarded handsomely in this current world of rampant pathological narcissism. Those at the top of their games don't do the hardest work. They have adoring followers, psychologically dependent individuals, hangers on, at their beck and call.

    If you have narcissists in your family, you are too keenly aware of how they demean you and/or ignore you or bith. If you are having a difficult time, they completely ignore what you are saying or they wonder what is the matter with you that you have caused such trouble for yourself.

    Narcissists are peripatetic---They always have their engines running. They go from one project to the next, one trip to the next, one aquisition to the next, one full makeover to the next, one partner to the next, etc.

    They get a kick out of running circles around you. They don't care about you one whit. They jauntily move along to constantly brag about themselves.

    On some occasions the narcissist wonders out loud about what is wrong with you that you can't overcome your problems. After all, they did!

    At a point of awakening you recognize that you are an adult in the process of healing and restoration from the classic high level narcissist.

    You are entitled to practice self care each day. Rest, sleep, self love, Nature in all of its beauty, the gift of music. Do the work of healing every day. You deserve deep inner peace and the fulfillment of your many unique creative gifts.

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  • Empaths are highly perceptive, exquisitely sensitive individuals. They are finely attuned to their external and internal environments. They feel deeply and are often misunderstood by spouses, family members and the world at large. Empaths who are married or partnered with high level narcissists have a particularly difficult time.

    Many of you grew up as children of narcissistic parents. Demands and reprimands were daily occurrences. Narcissistic mothers and fathers gave you the message that you didn't and couldn't measure up to their expectations. You felt irredeemably flawed. For making great efforts to obtain any attention, warmth, attachment, acceptance didn't work. You were looked upon with scorn even disgust.

    Married to a high level narcissist you are at the mercy of their recriminations, criticisms, projections.

    There is a time of awakening when you can no longer tolerate being controlled by the high level narcissist.

    You can now move forward with self care: sleep and rest, movement and exercise, nourishing food, good hydration, Nature, developing your spiritual practice as you understand it, rediscovering your unique creativity, the fulfillment of your authentic, creative, true self.

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  • Shame is a dreadful, intolerable feeling, a visceral reaction that goes deep inside of us. Often, children carry their shame into adulthood, especially if they are raised by narcissistic parents. When we feel ashamed we want to disappear and hide where no one can find us.

    The narcissistic parent expects perfection from his child. A child learns how to feel about himself/herelf through the loving attachment of the parent---the empathy, affection, acceptance of the son or daughter as a unique human being.

    The child with the highly dysfunctional narcissistic parent is never permitted to be his/her authentic self---that wonderful spontaneous, creative, joyful individual that is expressing the real self. Instead, the narcissist projects shame onto his/her small child from the beginning--telling them that they are always wrong, stupid, unworthy, worthless.

    Children raised in this psychological environment of being demeaned and humiliated feel deep shame inside themselves.

    I have spoken to and heard from many of you who are in the process of healing the shame that has bound you and are on the road to rediscovering your true self and leading the life that you deserve. Remember to put the emphasis on taking very good care of yourself. Rest, Sleep, Eat Nourishing Food, Hydrate Well, Gentle yoga poses, Stretching, Beautiful Music listening, Time with Nature.

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  • "The narcissist is at all times a deceiver, never straight, clear or true. He/she has mastered the ability to delude himself and others. Like a socerer, he hatches intricate plots in secret..." (From: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life, Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT).

    For many years you played your role of partner and spouse to the high level narcissist, knowing that he/she was psychologically toxic. You are exhausted at all times. You have chronic insomnia and can't sleep at night. You get up in the morning and drag yourself through the day.

    You are now full circle and heavy with exceptional exhaustion. In the past you jacked yourself up with coffee, plunged into exercise, distracted yourself with fantasies and long held wishes. The mental tricks have worn thin; they don't work anymore.

    Remind yourself that you are genuine; you are not deluded. You are highly empathic and care deeply about the feelings of others - family members, friends.

    Let the narcissistic world twirl by at ever increasing speeds as it goes nowhere.

    Give yourself credit for being a true individual who is growing and evolving. Know that this is a process that takes time and effort and that you are moving toward developing a stronger, expanded true self.

    Follow your unique path and pace. Practice self care - Rest, Sleep, Movement/Exercise, Nourishing Food, Listening to Calming Music, Spend time with Nature, the great healer.

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  • Each narcissist is unique in his or her inimitable way. We learn a great deal about a person by the way he/she communicates.

    With Narcissists there are several styles that stand out. The first is the Screamer. This man or woman always has the volume dial turned up to the max, especially when under stress or frustration which is frequent. There is no modulation in sound intensity whether the narcissist is in public or private.

    Screaming is the most direct route to getting his or her needs and desires met immediately. Although many narcissists are obsessed about their image and would not make a public scene, the Screamer projects his feelings, threats and intimidations without a filter. If he doesn't get the right table at a restaurant, best theater seat, quickest appointment, he/she screams---wild eyed, face flushed, mouth gaping. He attracts a lot of attention as he communicates: "I want what I want when I want it." Surprisingly, those involved in the ugly interchangge with narcissistic screamers, respond to their requests readily to restore peace and civility.

    Narcissistic Screamers do not apologize nor are they embarrassed by their inappropriate behaviors. For them, it is only what they want and are getting all that matters. After all, they deserve it; they are superior and entitled. The sheer volume and intimidation projected by the enraged narcissist is enough to make most people cringe and go to their protective corners and acquiesce to the narcissist's delusional demands.

    The Passive Aggressive narcissistic communication style is notable for its seesaw quality. These narcissists are sullen and can go for weeks without speaking a word if they have been crossed or confronted. They are masters of the "silent treatment." This type of narcissist is gifted at "quietly seething." Everyone in the household is unnerved and disrupted by this behavior but it is difficult to confront and deal with since the narcissist has become and will remain mute until he decides to end his strike. These narcisssists often play the victim role, insisting that no one appreciates or understands their problems.

    Covert Operators lead secret lives, cleverly compartmentalizing one from the others. (From Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life) "The narcissist puts his life in neat compartments that are sealed off from one another. He (or she) is able to activate self-identifications of vitality, superiority, success and power. These are kept separate from the unconscious parts of himself that feel depressed, enraged, empty and helpless..."

    Your keen powers of observation and discernment reveal the true nature of the narcissist including their communication styles.

    You are moving forward, rediscovering your truth, authentic self. Take time for deserved self care each day: get the rest and sleep that you need and deserve, nourishing healthy food, good hydration, movement and exercise thats best for you, restorative beautiful music, exploring your unique creative gifts.

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  • High level narcissists are highly secretive. They often compentalize their private lives. They are never concerned about deceiving partners since they don't have a fully developed conscience.

    High levels are often obsessed with acquiring money. But narcissists don't share. Many of them have hidden cash and bank accounts that are cleverly concealed from their partners and spouses. The spouse does not suspect this venal level of duplicity. One scenario preceding a divorce is that the narcissistic spouse will take control of most of the money and financial assets and hidden them through complex financial instruments or by making"arrangements" with a business partner or some other back door means. After the divorce papers are served and the opening rounds begin, the narcissist claims that he or she has no money or assets or investments of any kind.

    As the they cheat and steal from you, high level narcissists are highly suspicious even paranoid that they are being taken advantage of by their spouse. They rage that the partner has "stolen" what is theirs. Narcissistic personalities are psychological ly delusional. They manufacture their own reality. They detest the truth, especially when it is pointed out to them. It enrages the narcisssist and activates his/her volcanic rage.

    A time comes when you put enough of the puzzle pieces together to know that you are being deceived and can no longer overlook, rationalize or tolerate the insidious lies, the recriminations, the primitive wounding projections.

    You say "no more!" You do careful research, interview attorneys, obtain the tools that you need to move through the divorce process.

    You have persevered. I give you tremendous credit to those who go through this "marathon" with courage, grace, fortitude, focus, stamina and fine character!

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  • The Shadow is that part of us that rises from the unconscious. It is mysterious and unique to each individual. Carl Jung describes it this way: "The Shadow personifies everything that the subject (person) refuses to acknowledge about himself."

    "Those who have no conscious acquaintance with their shadow, project forgotten, forbidden disowned parts of themselves onto others in destructive ways." (From: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist, Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT)

    There are many examples of individuals who have no conscious awareness of their Shadow. There are personalities who have a flat affect (little or no real emotion expressed). Others are studied, stilted who lack spontaneity and humor. You have aggressive personalities who demand constant attention, who find fault in others and are incapable of admiting that they are ever wrong. These are false selves that have been developed to conceal a real self that has been psychologically damaged.

    Our personal Shadow is revealed through dreams, fantasies, reveries and spontaneous writing. When we are open to these inner worlds we become receptive to the richness of the unconscious.

    We continue to face our Shadows. For many the Shadow remains completely unrecognized by the conscious psyche of the individual. As human swe carry the inheritnce of our Shadow selves. This is not a curse but an incredible boon to those who seek wholeness and the promise and fulfillment of one's unique individuality.

    Becoming open to our dreams, reveries, meditations, offers a pathway to become acquainted and familiar with the Shadow.

    Creativity is born through the Shadow. It comes forth in spontaneous writing, our dreams, in communion with Nature. It walks with us day and night---always beside whether we acknowledge its presence or not.

    The Shadow is born in the heart of the unconscious, that mysterious territory and center of light and dark, a psychological chiascuro from which the masterpiece is created and spins into existence in its full glory.

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  • Narcissists cast dark shadows over our lives, especially when we are very young. Deep inside, instinctively, we know that we must survive. Many of us go along not only to get along but to stay vital psychologically. Some young children in highly disturbed narcissistic fmilies become hyper-vigilant-always surveying their environments for danger, threats, visceral feelings of being completely unsafe. They distract themselves ith activity. They normalize what they are experiencing.

    Narcissistic fathers cannot parent. They are emotionally unavailable to their children. The go through the motions of interacting with them.

    The narcissistic father doesn't careabout the individuality of his son or daughter. He may choose a golden child as a stand out to become just like him--a narcissist.

    Other children who are less attractive from his perspective and not stand outs are set aside for neglect and constant ridicule.

    There is an accumulation of truth about your narcissistic father. Those who wake up to the truth that their father is a merciless, despotic narcissist sever this toxic relationship and begin the healing process of fulfilling their destiny as a free, separate individual. You deserve healing, restoration, transformation and the manifestation of your unique creative gifts.

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  • Narcissistic mothers are completely absorbed with themselves. Many of them have children to enhance their image of having a perfect family. The work of raising, nurturing and protecting one's child is expected and essential. The narcissistic mother often turns her daughter over to babysitters or nannies when the child is very young, even an infant. She makes sure that friends and acquaintances believe that she is a devoted mother. She talks about her daughter, pretending that she is emotionally invested in her child.

    Narcissistic mothrs often rule the family. Father is present in name only. He is a fixture in is own house. Some of these fathers are workaholics and prefer to be away from home rather than deal with the cold, harsh temperament of this woman.

    The scapegoated daughter has no defense against the ridicule, demeaning verbal assaults of these highly disturbed mothers. Their stories of being taunted and humiliated are heartrending.

    Some of these daughters experience symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome and spend years in the aftermath of these traumas and their efforts to heal. Individuals who have been through such a prolonged ordeal need our understanding and compassion.

    Many of them find their way to healing through support roups, participate in psychotherapy, work with healing modalities--gentle yoga, forms of mindfulness and meditation. The deeper our understanding of the true nature of narcissistic mothers the better we are prepared to help ourselves in the process of healing, restoration and the rediscovery of the real, authentic, creative self.

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  • Today we are surrounded by countless greedy narcissists in a society that has become exceedingly materialistic, coarse, Darwinian, soulless. The high level narcissist is all act: false, cunning, acquisitive.

    The greediest go after what you have – investments, properties, residences, businesses, valuable possessions, trusts, works of art.They feed off of your creativity and steal your projects. – all the while leading you to believe that they are collaborating and contributing to your success.

    Narcissists are not team players. This is a pretense, a strategy a ruse, a well honed act to gain your trust and ultimately to control you and the products of your unique creativity.

    No matter how much they have, for the high level narcissist it is never enough. The fever of acquisitiveness reigns with these individuals. You cannot win if you stay partnered with them unless you are willing to become their psychological prisoners and forfeit your individuality, your unique gifts and your inner peace. Some of those who remain aligned with the high level narcissist are in a state of permanent delusion. They have fused with the narcissist and are unable to extricate themselves from this psychopathological state.

    The high level narcissist doesn’t care if you are left with nothing. They get what they want, discard you and move on to the next shiniy prize.

    There is hope and redemption with those who remain grounded in their authenticity and integrity combined with their creative gifts. At a time of great insight you find your unique pathway that leads to the authentic self. Give yourself tremendous credit for redisvering the truth about yourself. Listen to the voice of your intuition that always speaks the truth.

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  • For Empaths: Practice Self Care and Self Kindness DraftSep 25, 2023

    Empaths are unique individuals who are often misunderstood. As babies and small children they learn that they are unlike other family members. Some children are accepted and respected but this attitude tends to be the exception. Empaths have a heightened sense of perception. They are highly sensitive to loud noises, large crowds and social events.

    Empaths are seekers of the truth and have keen insights and intuitions. The society and even within their families, these gifts are not accepted and valued. Rather the empath is treated like a person who is odd, peculiar, someone who doesn't fit in.

    True empaths are rare and extraordinary. Their perceptions about human nature and individuals in particular are very accurate. Often these individuals are not believed. Many growup in families that discount this level of high consciousness and intuitive sight.

    Self care and self kindness are essential practices for empaths:

    Protecting Your Sleep and Rest:

    Honor your sleep. Don't let others, especially demanding individuals-narcissists- interfere with your sleep. The great healer is sleep, a profound activity that we are designed for. Sleep is part of all human and animal species. It nourishes and restores every system: skeletal, muscular, respiratory, cardiovascular, digestive, reproductive, endocrine, lymphatic and the mitochrondria in every cell.

    We are created to follow the natural daylight and night---to sleep when darkness comes at night and to awaken when the sun rises and radiates in the sky throughout the day.

    Sleep protects and strengthens the immune system, restores our vital energy and decreases inflammation. In sleep the unconscious speaks, bringing us dreams that are mysterious, healing and insightful. We are often daunted by the meaning of our dreams. Nevertheless, they are invaluable although often inscrutable.

    In many cultures for hundreds of years the habit of taking a rest has been part of a daily routine. Rest offers physical, psychological and emotional refreshment. Having the freedom to think in quiet, to enjoy one's solitude and creativity is a very pleasant activity. This gives us a feeling of well-being. It offers a great opportunity to move into the parasympathetic nervous system, the restorative, healing mode.

    Protecting Your Psychological Boundaries

    Respecting your personal boundaries is an essential part of your positive self-entitlement to inner peace. Recognize that you can say "No" to the narcissist who is constantly making outrageous demands, lying to you, projecting venomous rage. Developing a strong sense of self-regard is essential to eatablishing and maintaining boundaries. Separating out of the narcissist's delusion world you move forward along your unique individual pathways of psychological and creative development.

    Setting Your Personal Pace: Each individual has a natural tempo, a way of moving that is unique to them. As a child, spouse or partner of a high level narcissist you spent many years dancing to their choreography. High level narcissists are often peripetetic---they never stop moving. You have been trying to keep up with their rapid pace and constant demands for too many years. This is your time your space, your pace, your dance.

    Spend time with Nature, her beauty and Inspiration: We are part of Nature. It showers us with gifts of magnificent beauty. Nature is our home, an inspiration for creative thinking, a companion that inspires, nourishes, calms and delights us.

    Developing Your Unique Routine: Daily routines that you are motivating, creative, healing and restorative.

    Decide on your priorities, try different schedules, choose activities that appeal to you. Leave room for flexibility. Don't be judgmental. There are no mistakes in choosing the elements of your routine.

    Enjoy your choices. Honor your unique needs, wishes, energy levels, deep interests, appreciation of beauty, the manifestation of your singular individuality.

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  • High level narcissists stand at center stage, commanding all the attention. He/she struts and preens before the audience. The high level is exultant before his/her adoring audience. These individuals expect nothing less than being perpetually adored.

    Many names are associated with these false self high flyers: Champion, Winner, Nobleman, Noblewoman, Prince, Princess, Genius, Spiritual Master. On the outside, the high level narcissist sparkles, exuding a magnetic charm.

    Beneath the many false selves the high level narcissist is a hollowed out, psychologically empty real self.

    The high level uses specific defense mechanisms to protect himself/herself from exposure to the depleted real self.

    Projection: Projection is a primitive defense mechanism that involves ejecting vile psychological venom onto victims, especially those close within his inner circle: spouses, ex-spouses, children, siblings. The big advantage for the high level is that there are no consequences for their abominable behavior.

    When you are the recipient of a primitive projection your guts churn, your heart beats wildly, you feel humiliated—feel like disappearing.

    Projections originate in the unconscious of the perpetrator. In these dark recesses, powerful untrammeled feelings and inclinations are brewing and foment upward into consciousness.

    Massive Denial: This is a profound disavowal of the true reality, particularly about himself. The narcissist believes that he/she is a fine person, an individual of integrity. The high level is immune to his mean, vindictive, demanding behaviors.

    The narcissist easily finds fault with others, (often rivals for power) whom he criticizes reflexively. The high level harbors a deep envy of his competitors.

    When he/she has behaved badly in business or socially, the high level shifts the blame on to others rather than taking responsibility for his deceptive, and egregious behaviors. The high level can never admit being “wrong” since the reinforced false self perceives himself/herself as perfect and superior.

    Repression:The use of repression works very well for the high level narcissist. This is a form of forgetting and blocking feelings and actions and memories that run counter to the narcissist’s belief that he/she is superior and perfect. Repression is a psychological shield that protects the high level from experiencing his emotional and psychological vulnerabilities and imperfections. This mechanism “protects” the narcissist from experiencing his/her hollow, helpless, depleted, empty real self.

    Many are so taken with the compelling, believable false selves of the high level narcissist that they are incapable and unwilling to perceive these malevolent individuals for who they truly are—vile exploiters of those whom they psychologically and mentally control.

    As a result of your research and clear insights, you perceive the true nature of the high level narcissist defined by the dark, empty, hollowed out core of these individuals.

    Give yourself credit for your perseverance, your strong belief in yourself, your mental and psychological stamina. Focus on your movement into the restorative, calming pathways of the parasympathetic of self care and the use of your unique creative gifts.

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  • "In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it." (Michelangelo) One of the greatest sculptors created unsurprassed masterpieces---The Pieta, David, Moses among others. He was a master at taking a block of inanimate material and bringing it to the highest artistic fulfillment.

    I was thinking about this great work and something popped into my mind about the narcissistic mother who endeavors with all of her force to create the perfect child---her golden one. Some are chosen to play this role; others are not.

    Many a narcissistic parent has become obsessed with molding a tiny baby into a perfect vision. This works beautifully with art using clay, marble and alabaster but it is a disaster with little children.

    Were you the chosen one, the one who was ignored, the golden child dethroned, the child who was hidden in the bunch, the child who got into a lot of trouble with mom because you insisted on being yourself? There are innumerable patterns in these narcissistic, highly dysfunctional families.

    Some children respond positively to the prodding of their highly ambitious narcissistic mothers. These mothers are restless creatures. Mother is relentlessly at work. Day and night she is plotting and thinking about the magnificence of the end product when the curtain parts and her creation is at center stage.

    If one daughter does not go along with the transformation project, she will discard her and pick another child. The abanded daughter has a hard time because she has lost her mother's attention and is no longer in a psychological state of her mother's grace. But those who tough it out can be blessed because they bucked the force of the narcissistic mother's disturbed contorted vision. Rather, this daughter is an individual with many unique gifts.

    Narcissistic mothers will always be with us as well as narcissistic daughters. Our work is to recognize the true nature of the high level narcissists in our families and to assert and honor the immutable authentic, creative self that is grounded in truth and integrity.

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  • High level narcissists are essentially solo acts. They are incapable of forming genuine relationships, especially with their spouses, partners and children. Narcissists are duplicitous. They have many secret agendas. They compartmentalize their lives skillfully and without conscience.

    After you have been married to a narcissist for a while you realize this man or woman is not the person you met and think you have known.

    Even when he/she is getting everything he wants, the high level suddenly turns on his /her spouse. He is projecting and spewing his unconscious self loathing and psychological emptiness on to you. Spouses and partners on the receiving end often learn to ignore and rationalize these abusive behaviors.

    After the marriage has turned stale---and this can happen quickly with narcissists---they need to figure out exactly what they are going to do with you.

    Narcissistic spouses are irritated and disgusted with spouses and partners who are not performing up to their unrealistic standards. After the divorce the spouse/partner is dropped quickly, abandoned without ceremony.

    High level narcissists don't look back; they are not haunted by any memory of their cruelties. They sleep well at night and are still completely full of themselves as they move on with another person. This is a travesty, a number of horrible scenarios that are repeated over and over again by narcissists with impunity.

    As you move forward, focus on your sense of self entitlement. Practice self care each day: rest and sleep, eat nourishing food, good hydration, exercise and movement that appeals to you, expressive unedited writing, listen to beautiful music, spend time with Nature, the great healer.

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  • You are in charge now unlike the days of childhood when you were under the control, expectations and pscyopathologies of your parents. Your partner, spouse, ex-spouse, siblings and other family members are not entitled to intimidate or control you. Be kind with yourself.

    Self Kindness activities include:

    Move at our own pace; don't let anyone rush you. Many children are herded around and forced to move quickly by other family members. This is particularly stressful, causing nerves to fray, stomach roiling when they are forced to hurry mindlessly. It is distressing and disorienting.

    Develop daily routines that work well for you and that orient you into the parasympathetic nervous system and out of the fight or flight sympathetic mode.

    As a child you experienced the stresses of the sympathetic, especially if you grew up with a narcissistic parent and other personality disordered individuals.

    The practice of diaphragmagtic breathing offers you an entree into the parasympathetic state. Disphragmatic breathing activates the vagus nerve. The awakening of the vagus nerve puts you into the parasympathetic---the calming, healing, restorative part of the nervous system. The origin of this kind of breathing has existed for thousands of years introduced by Indian practices called pranayama. The practice of pranayama is part of an ancient yoga that goes back in time with its origins in India in the sixth and fifth centuries BC.

    Listen to beautiful music that speaks to you. You can hear these melodies or songs over and over again and always find them calming, inspiring, affirming, joyful.

    Pay attention to your dreams. They are revealing invaluable messages. When you awaken from a dream, take a few minutes to digest it before you get up.

    Expressive, unedited writing offers you an opening to your unconscious and your unique creativity. Messages that come through this writing are profound and help you to see through delusion to the true reality.

    Be as kind with yourself as you are to others.

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  • Covert narcissists fly under the radar. It can be very difficult to identify them before they have psychologically ambushed you. Polite, humble, soft spoken, respectful in manner, the covert narcissist conceals his/her true nature with great skill. They are at your service, appear to be good listeners and are clever actors of pseudo empathy. In the first moves the covert narcissist appears to be very sincere. He/she has your best interests at heart. This is the bait and the trap.

    All the while the covert narcissist is sizing you up. These individuals have taken your measure and know that by romancing you and becoming an indispensable part of your life that they will own your feelings and possess you psychologically.

    Whether it is direct or covert, the narcissist is a user who only becomes involved with those whom he/she can use and increase his power and economic reach.

    Protect yourself. Narcissists are users and abusers. You can learn to identify the covert narcissist with great skill.

    Turn you attention to your self care: rest, sleep, hydration, nourishing food, expressive writing, beautiful music, sublime Nature. Embrace your unique creative individuality.

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  • Our hearts are drawn quickly and beat fiercely with someone who is irresistible. That often is a narcissistic man or woman. They have our "numbers", are often very attractive and compelling. They give us so much attention in the beginning. The narcissist always wants something from us and it is not our welfare or peace of mind, or our creative, psychological or spiritual well being.

    There is a strong human tendency to repeat patterns of behavior, especially those that are hurtful to us. Many children of narcissistic parents marry narcissists. It is not unusual for them to step into a marriage with someone who has fooled them completely with a grandiose false self full of confidence and who appears to care deeply about them.

    If you suspect that your intended man or woman is a narcissist, remember what you learned about the characteristics of the narcissistic personality:

    Narcissists are clever actors who convince others that they truly care about them.

    Narcissists are consumed with creating and maintaining with their perfect image.

    Does this individual over promise? Is he or she very grandiose and could possibly be delusional?

    Is he or she the Golden Boy or Golden Girl in the family?

    Does this person lack true empathy? The capacity to put yourself emotionally and psychologically in another person's place. Are they skilled at pseudo empathy?

    How often are you catching him/her in lies? Narcissists are gifted liars.

    Narcissistic personalities are not inclined to change. After all, they believe they are perfect and live in a delusion of their own making.

    Prepare personally by putting the emphasis on taking vey good care of yourself. Take time to listen to music, spontaneous writing with a pen and your imagination, exercise in the way that works for you, good nutrition and hydration, a spiritual practice as you define it. Get the sleep and rest that you deserve. Seek anf find the beauty of Nature, our restorative, healing, transformational source. Ackowledge and feel deep inside an appreciation for who you really are: genuine, unique, talented, creative: a person of vision, empathy and integrity.

    I have great faith in you and know that you will prevail. Let your light shine!

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  • Daughters of narcissistic mothers have a particularly difficult pathway to travel. From childhood they have had to contend with mothers who were cold, distracted, self-absorbed, coercive, dismissive, manipulative and psychologically destructive. Their children are at their mercy and whim. Their daughters are an ongoing source of narcissistic supply to this non-mother.

    Adult daughters of narcissistic mothers have to contend with maternal deprivation, perpetrated by these mothers from hell.

    The daughter of a narcissistic mothers is very special...She is a survivor, a beautiful human being who has prevailed over the psychological gulags of childhood to emerge as a vibrant, loving, creative individual.

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  • Psychological fusion represents the need to identify and merge with the high level narcissist. This occurs as a result of emotional and psychological deficits and causes a sense of being incomplete as an individual.

    Those who experience this fusion seek the high level narcissist for validation and a sense of worth and purpose.

    The causes of psychological fuson can be the result of childhood trauma, maternal deprivation and abandonment issues.

    You feel emotionally damaged, less than, incomplete with feelings of worthlessness, guilt, lacking value and importance as an individual.

    Each time that you return to the high level narcissist you put yourself in the hands of this unempathic, controlling individual

    At a time of insight and deep understanding you decide to separate from the high level narcissist with the practice of self care: going at your own pace, sleep and rest that you deserve, healing and restoration through Nature, activating your unique creativity, movement and exercise that works for you.

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  • Classic narcissists are bombastic and charismatic, running through their days in the fast lane---always moving to their next cascade of narcissistic supplies. If they are very successful they have more opportunities to be adored, praised and rewarded hnadsomely in this current world of rampant pathological narcissism. Those at the top of their game don't do the hard work. They have adoring followers, psychologically dependent individuals, hangers on, at their beck and call.

    If you have narcissists in your family, you are keenly aware of how they demean and/or ignore you or both.

    Since they have no internal psychological consciousness or a well developed conscience, they move swiftly and smoothly through their professional and personal lives with ruthless abandon. They choose partners whom they can dominate and control. They ignore their children or choose only those who will become their living ego supplies---little narcissists who will grow up to be just like them.

    Narcissists are peripatetic---They always have their engines running. They go from one project to the next--one trip to the next---one acquisition to the next--one partner to the next---, etc.

    They jauntily move along in the conversation to tell you about how swimmingly their lives are going, how busy they are, what they are achieving and don't forget---"their successes." I am talking about their all out bragging when the other person is going through a very tough time and needs to be heard. I find this kind of interchange to be nauseating and cruel.

    Remind yourself that you are genuine and that having psychological ordeals is part of our authenticity with real feelings and deep caring for others as well as oneself.

    You are not deluded. You do not brag about yourself. You are highly empathic and care deeply about the feelings, the problems and the tough issues of others: family members, friends, spouses, etc. You are the opposite of the narcissist.

    Give yourself credit for being a true individual who is growing and evolving. Know that this is a process that takes time and effort and that you are moving toward developing a stronger, expanded true self. (The narcissist is a false self that leads his/her entire days in delusion.)

    Practice the self care each day: rest and get the sleep that you deserve, eat nourishing food--organic if you can, use your creative gifts, create a spiritual practice as you understand this. Spend time with Nature--beautiful, restorative, transformational!

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