Afleveringen
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Emotionally immature people can wreck your life. One of our most popular guests returns to teach you how to make sure they don't.
Description:
Our relationships are the most important variable in our health and happiness, but they may also be the most difficult. This is especially true when those closest to us turn out to be emotionally immature people.
Lindsay C. Gibson is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author who specializes in helping people identify and deal with emotionally immature people, or EIPâs. Her first appearance on our show was one of our most popular episodes of 2022. Now sheâs back to offer concrete strategies for handling the EIPâs in your life, wherever you may find them. Her new book is called Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People.
In this episode we talk about:
A primer on the cardinal characteristics of emotionally immature people (EIPâs), how to spot them, and why you might want toWhat Lindsay means by âdisentanglingâ from EIPâs, and how to do itWhat often happens to your own sense of self when youâre in relationship (or even just in conversation) with an EIP How to interact with an EIP How to prevent brain scramble when youâre talking with someone who isnât making any attempt to understand what youâre saying How she reacts when she comes across EIPâs in her everyday lifeWhether itâs possible to have some immature characteristics without being an EIPHandling your own emotionally immature tendencies Whether or not EIPâs can changeThe limits of estrangementWhy she encourages âalternatives to forgivenessâFull Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/lindsay-gibson-791
Book Mentioned:
Disentangling from Emotionally Immature PeopleOther Resources Mentioned:
Lindsayâs first appearance on the Ten Percent Happier PodcastAdditional Resources:
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Todayâs guest, Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, gives advice for dealing with emotionally immature peopleâ whether they are your parents, boss, spouse or childhood friend, she offers practical tools to help navigate these difficult relationships.
Description:
Emotionally immature people (EIPâs) are hard to avoid and most of us, if not all of us, have to deal with them at some point in our lives. These interactions can range from mildly annoying to genuinely traumatic, especially if the emotionally immature people in question are our own parents, which is true for an awful lot of us.
Todayâs guest, clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson, gives advice for dealing with emotionally immature people, whether theyâre your parents or not. She has written a sleeper hit book on the subject called, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents.
In this episode we talk about:
The signs of emotional immaturityWhether or not Iâm emotionally immatureWhat happens to children who are raised by emotionally immature parents, including their signature coping strategiesWhy adult children of EIPâs turn to healing fantasies, and how to let them goHow to cope with emotionally immature parents as an adultWhat role compassion should and should not play in your relationship with EIPâsHow to healFull Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lindsay-gibson-2022-rerun
Books Mentioned:
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved ParentsWho You Were Meant to Be: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Life's PurposeRecovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional AutonomySelf-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with ConfidenceDisentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature ParentsOther Resources Mentioned:
Lisa Feldman BarrettAdditional Resources:
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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To find some mental stability, start with physical stability.
About Oren Jay Sofer:
Oren Jay Sofer teaches mindfulness, meditation and Nonviolent Communication. He has practiced meditation since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India and is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and is a graduate of the IMS/Spirit Rock Teacher Training program. Oren teaches retreats across the country and works as Senior Program Developer at Mindful Schools, teaching and developing curricula for one of the international leaders of mindfulness in education.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for âGround Hope In Your Body.â
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A self-described âsilly manâ tells us about whatâs really important in life.
Ted Danson has an acting career spanning over four decades. He rose to prominence in the 1980s with his iconic portrayal of Sam Malone in the long-running sitcom "Cheers," earning him critical acclaim and multiple awards. Danson's charisma and acting prowess have since led him to a myriad of diverse roles, including his Emmy-nominated performances in "Damages" and "Fargo." Most recently, he starred in the existential comedy âThe Good Place.â Beyond his acting career, Danson is also celebrated for his environmental activism and philanthropy, demonstrating a commitment to making a positive impact beyond the screen. His next venture? A podcast with his old âCheersâ buddy, Woody Harrelson.
In this episode we talk about:
meditationmarriagehypochondriagriefwhat he means when he calls himself a joy junkiewhat he learned from being on the TV show âThe Good Placeâand that time he did shrooms with his fellow cast members on âCheersâSign up for Danâs weekly newsletter here
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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/ted-danson
Additional Resources:
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Practical tips to stop judging yourself, chill out about exercise, and start taking better care of your body â from a Buddhist teacher who learned the hard way.
Description:
Itâs an urgent question for so many of us: Can we exercise, can we take care of our bodies, without being driven by shame, self-loathing, or noxious comparison to other people?
Our guest today has a unique perspective on this. Cara Lai is a former social worker and psychotherapist who is now a Buddhist teacher. She also used to be a marathoner. But in the last few years, her body has undergone some radical changes, leading her to some hard-won, fascinating, and deeply useful insights about how to strike the balance between taking care of your body and staying sane.
In this episode we talk about:
Practices for that moment when youâre getting out of the shower, see yourself in the mirror, and engage in a festival of self-judgmentThe surprising things that happened when Cara was forced to stop exercisingA counterintuitive mindfulness practice suggestion for those with exercise routinesWhen and why you should purposely do things you know are bad for youWhy we often resist âbeing in our bodies,â why thatâs OK, and how to lower the bar on this contemplative clichĂ©âwithout giving it upA body-related Buddhist practice she finds to be totally not usefulFull Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/cara-lai-787
Other Resources Mentioned:
The Upside of Desire | Cara Lai
The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole
Additional Resources:
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What if one of the often overlooked keys to being productive is being lazy? Thatâs the case you will hear made today by Brother PhĂĄp Hữu, a very impressive young zen Buddhist monk.
Brother PhĂĄp Hữu is a senior Dharma teacher in Thich Nhat Hanhâs International Plum Village Community and abbot of Upper Hamlet, the monksâ community in Plum Village Monastery, a practice center founded by Thich Nhat Hanh in southwest France. Born in Vietnam, he emigrated to Canada as a child. He began training with Thich Nhat Hanh at the age of thirteen when he first entered the monastery to become a monk. Thich Nhat Hanh gave him the name ChĂąn PhĂĄp Hữu, which means âTrue Dharma Friend.â For more than ten years, he accompanied Thich Nhat Hanh on his international teaching tours as his attendant and assistant. Today, Brother PhĂĄp Hữu is deeply committed to building community and continuing Thich Nhat Hanhâs legacy, bringing his teachings in particular to businesspeople, families, and young adults. Brother Phap Huu is passionate about basketball, music, and developing new approaches to teamwork, leadership, mentoring and coaching, and is a beloved co-hostâwith journalist, leadership coach, and workshop facilitator Jo Confino--of the Plum Village podcast, The Way Out is In.
In this episode we talk about:
The origin and purpose of something called Lazy DayWhat doing nothing looks like in practicalityWhy doing nothing is so hard for peopleHow you can integrate the wisdom of lazy days into your life, even if you canât carve out a whole dayHow laziness in and of itself can be productive and how it allows for a re-examination of our own happiness.And The geopolitical case for being vs. doingRelated Episodes:
The Buddhaâs 8-Part Manual for a Good Life | Brother PhĂĄp DungHow to Suffer Well | Brother PhĂĄp DungThis Episode Will Make You Stronger | Sister Dang NghiemSix Buddhist Strategies for Getting Along Better with Everyone | Sister True Dedication3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel LingoA Buddhist Recipe for Handling Turmoil | Kaira Jewel LingoSign up for Danâs weekly newsletter here
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/br-phap-huu
Additional Resources:
Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/installSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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While we may want to conquer physical pain, itâs actually observing the sensations and knowing when to take a break thatâs the key to relief.
About Sharon Salzberg:
Sharon Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is among the first to bring mindfulness & lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture fifty years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers.
A co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, Sharon is the author of thirteen books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindess.
In 2023, Sharon released two new books: Real Life, available from Flatiron Books, and Finding Your Way, a small gift book from Workman.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for âWhen Your Body Hurts.â
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On this show, we talk a lot about ways to stop the interpersonal and intrapersonal violence of obsessing about thinness. Todayâs episode, though, is a bit of a departure⊠because this whole dynamic and debate has been deeply disrupted by the advent of Ozempic and other new weight loss drugs, which are technically called GLP1s. This is a controversial and touchy subject, to say the least.
Journalist and best-selling author Johann Hari discusses his latest book Magic Pill: The Extraordinary Benefits and Disturbing Risks of the New Weight-Loss Drugs. He believes drugs like Ozempic are the equivalent of the invention of the iPhone â and will impact all of our lives, whether we like it or not, and whether we take them or not. And in Magic Pill, Hari â who somewhat ambivalently takes Ozempic himself â marinates in the complexity of all of this.
This is Hariâs third time on the show. He has come on before to discuss his books on distraction and depressionâentitled Stolen Focus and Lost Connections.
This is the latest episode of our Get Fit Sanely series. This is the third time weâve done Get Fit Sanely, and in this go-round, weâll be covering longevity, exercise, and the Buddhist case for laziness.
Related Episodes:
Get Fit Sanely Playlist
Why You Can't Pay Attention - And How to Think About It | Johann Hari
Fighting Depression with Social Connection | Johann Hari
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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/johann-hari-2024
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Five takeaways from a year's reporting on fitness, and why this journalist says it's time to go easier on yourself.
Shannon Palus is a features editor at Slate covering heath, science, and human interest. In 2023, she edited Slate's year-long fitness column, Good Fit, about exercise. Her writing has also appeared in the New York Times' Wirecutter, Scientific American, and the Atlantic.
In this episode we talk about:
How this conversation changed the way Dan thinks about exerciseWhy you shouldnât drive yourself crazy following the latest trends about health and fitnessWhy tracking your workouts isnât always helpful - and remembering that there is always the option to âgo slow.â The importance of remembering that exercise is not one-size-fits-allRelated Episodes:
Can You Get Fit Without Self-Loathing? | Cara Lai â Ten Percent Happier
How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Body and Eat Sanely in a Toxic Culture | Virginia Sole-Smith â Ten Percent Happier
Sign up for Danâs weekly newsletter here
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/shannon-palus
Additional Resources:
Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/installSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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After an intense day, try this simple meditation to decompress and de-stress by getting comfy and putting your feet up.
About Jeff Warren:
Jeff is an incredibly gifted meditation teacher. He's trained in multiple traditions, including with renowned teacher Shinzen Young. Jeff is the co-author of NY Times Bestseller "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics," and the founder of the Consciousness Explorers Club, a meditation adventure group in Toronto. He has a knack for surfacing the exact meditation that will help everyone he meets. "I have a meditation for that" is regularly heard from Jeff, so we've dubbed him the "Meditation MacGyver."
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for âEnd of Day Decompress: The Porch Sit.â
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How to overcome inertia and research-backed plans that actually work.
Dr. Gary G. Bennett is Dean of the Trinity College of Arts & Sciences at Duke University. He is also a professor of psychology & neuroscience, global health, medicine, and nursing, and is the founding director of the Duke Digital Health Science Center. He has authored nearly 200 scientific papers and is a past president of the Society of Behavioral Medicine.
T. Morgan Dixon is the co-founder and CEO of Girl Trek, the largest health movement in America for Black womenâ with over one million members.
Also check out Jeffrey Walkerâs podcast, System Catalysts, where they did an episode on Morgan and Dr. Bennett.
This is the latest episode of our Get Fit Sanely series. This is the third time weâve done Get Fit Sanely, and in this go-round, weâll be covering not only longevity but also ozempic, exercise, and the Buddhist case for laziness.
Related Episodes:
Get Fit Sanely Playlist
The Dharma of Harriett Tubman | Spring Washam
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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/dixon-bennett
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Insights from the places on the planet where people apparently live the longest and healthiest lives.
Dan Buettner is an explorer, National Geographic Fellow, and journalist. He has written a series of bestselling books, including The Blue Zones of Happiness and The Blue Zones Kitchen: 100 Recipes for Living to 100. He is also the host of the Netflix show, Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones.
This is the kickoff official interview of our Get Fit Sanely series. (If you missed it, go back and check out the informal chat I posted on Friday with lead producer, DJ Cashmere). This is the third time weâve done Get Fit Sanely, and in this go-round, weâll be covering not only longevity but also ozempic, exercise, and the Buddhist case for laziness.
In this episode we talk about:
The origin story of the Blue ZonesThe nine common denominators, or Power Nine, to longevity.The surprising information about much maligned foods such as pasta and breadWhy trying to pursue good health can actually work against youWhy the single most important factor in longevity isnât advertised on instagram Tips for integrating Blue Zones wisdom into your daily life, including designing a life where you move more naturallyAnd some of the critiques and controversies surrounding his workRelated Episodes:
Get Fit Sanely PlaylistSign up for Danâs weekly newsletter here
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
Ten Percent Happier online bookstore
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel
Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/dan-buettner
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Mindful movement is an excellent way to integrate and even invigorate mindfulness while cultivating the power of curious awareness.
About Dawn Mauricio:
Dawn Mauricio discovered the practices of Buddhist meditation in 2005, and from then on, did what any well-intentioned perfectionist would do â plunge in head first! Since then, she's graduated from several teaching programs, including Spirit Rock's four-year Teacher Training. Her teaching style is playful, dynamic, and heartfelt, and she teaches extensively in her home-country of Canada, as well as the US, to teens, people of color, and folks of all backgrounds.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for âGentle Mindful Movement.â
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How to pursue fitness without succumbing to the âsubtle aggression of self-improvement.â
The kickoff episode for the latest installment of an occasional series we do here on the show, called Get Fit Sanely (listen to past â and future â episodes here).
In this candid conversation, managing producer DJ Cashmere talks with Dan about how they manage their mindsets on these issues, and how the interviews weâre doing on the subject have and have not impacted them. Weâll also preview the guests for this fresh round of Get Fit Sanely, where we cover longevity, Ozempic (and related weight loss drugs), the latest science on exercise, and the Buddhist case for laziness.
The cost of getting lean infographic.
Related Episodes:
Get Fit Sanely PlaylistThe Science of Self-Compassion | Serena ChenThe Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel LingoSign up for Danâs weekly newsletter here
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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/dj-cashmere-778
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Using your senses to reduce overthinking, turn down the voice in your head, and get out of what these scientists call "the house of habit."
Dr. Zindel Segal is Distinguished Professor of Psychology in Mood Disorders at the University of Toronto Scarborough and a cofounder of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy. Professor Norman Farb, PhD, is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto Mississauga, where he directs the Regulatory and Affective Dynamics laboratory.
In this episode we talk about:
How the brainâs default mode network is essential to our survival but also can keep us stuck in rumination and overthinking Segal and Farbâs simple practice of âsense foragingâ and why they say it can help break patterns and thoughts that arenât serving us The differences and the similarities between sense foraging and mindfulnessRelated Episodes:
Depression and Anxiety: Your Old Enemies, Your Best Friends | Zindel Segal
Gretchen Rubin on: How To Use Your Five Senses To Reduce Anxiety, Increase Creativity, and Improve Your Relationships
Why You Canât Pay Attention - And How to Think Deeply Again | Johann Hari
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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/segal-farb
Additional Resources:
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The radical shift in perspective that can come when we change our question from âwhatâs wrong with youâ to âwhat happened to you?â
Dr. Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. is the Principal of the Neurosequential Network and a Professor (Adjunct) at the School of Allied Health, Human Services and Sport, La Trobe University, Melbourne, Victoria Australia.
Over the last thirty years, Dr. Perry has been an active teacher, clinician and researcher in childrenâs mental health and the neurosciences holding a variety of academic positions. His work on the impact of abuse, neglect and trauma on the developing brain has impacted clinical practice, programs and policy across the world. Dr. Perry is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children and Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered. Dr. Perry's most recent book, What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing (2021), co-authored with Oprah Winfrey, has been translated into 26 languages and has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for over 100 weeks after becoming #1 on the list in April of 2021.
Related Episodes:
The Art and Science of the World's Gooiest Cliche | Barbara FredricksonHow to Live with the Worst Things That Ever Happened to You | Stephanie FooAn Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob HamDeep Genealogy | Spring WashamDeep, Provocative Success Strategies From the âYoda of Silicon Valleyâ | Jerry ColonnaSign up for Danâs weekly newsletter here
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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/drbruceperry
Additional Resources:
Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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When you feel anxious about a difficult decision, meditation can help take the edge off and put you in touch with your own wisdom as a guide.
About Oren Jay Sofer:
Oren Jay Sofer teaches mindfulness, meditation and Nonviolent Communication. He has practiced meditation since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India and is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and is a graduate of the IMS/Spirit Rock Teacher Training program. Oren teaches retreats across the country and works as Senior Program Developer at Mindful Schools, teaching and developing curricula for one of the international leaders of mindfulness in education.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for âMaking A Tough Decision.â
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Radical advice on rethinking success, individualism, and the American dream.
Mia Birdsong is a pathfinder, culture change visionary, and futurist. She is the founding Executive Director of Next River, a think tank and culture change lab for interconnected freedom. In her book How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community, Mia maps swaths of community life and points us toward the promise of our collective vitality.
In this episode we talk about:
How to build communityWhat it looks like in her own lifeMutuality vs reciprocity How to work with resentment and rejection The etymological connection between friendship and freedom The transformative power of asking for helpAnd why she thinks the idea of bootstrappingâor going it aloneâis a kind of self-hatredRelated Episodes:
How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. FrancoThe Many Benefits of a âParadox Mindsetâ | Dolly Chugh. Ten Percent HappierEscape From Zombieland | Koshin Paley Ellison â Ten Percent Happier An Uncomfortable (But Meaningful) Conversation About Race | Lama Rod OwensSign up for Danâs weekly newsletter here
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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mia-birdsong
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The surprisingly common experience of near death experiences and what science still can't explain about them.
Sebastian Junger is the #1 New York Times Bestselling author of The Perfect Storm, Fire, A Death in Belmont, War and Tribe, and In My Time of Dying. As an award-winning journalist, a contributing editor to Vanity Fair and a special correspondent at ABC News, he has covered major international news stories around the world, and has received both a National Magazine Award and a Peabody Award.
In this episode we talk about:
Jungerâs near death experience and the impact it had on himThe conclusions he came to after investigation the possibilities of an afterlife The mysteries of quantum physics and what they might tell us about life and deathHow he believes we can all experience awe on a daily basisRelated Episodes:
How Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life | Alua Arthur
Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Why Having a âCosmic Perspectiveâ Will Help You Do Life Better
George Saunders on: âHoly Befuddlementâ and How to Be Less of a âTurdâ
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Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/sebastian-junger
Additional Resources:
Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/installSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Explore the preciousness of a new day with greater joy and ease while giving plenty of space to feel grumpy about it all.
About Alexis Santos:
Alexis has practiced and taught Insight Meditation in both the East and West since 2001. He has been a long-time student of Sayadaw U Tejaniya (a well respected meditation teacher in Burma whose teachings have attracted a global audience), and his teaching emphasizes knowing the mind through a natural and relaxed continuity -- a style of practice that's particularly useful during our crazy lives. Alexis has completed the Spirit Rock/IMS Teacher Training, teaches retreats across the globe, and currently lives in Portland, Maine.
To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for âWhen Waking Up Is Tough.â
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