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We're back after a three-week hiatus, and there's a good reason for our absence. Victoria has undergone two additional surgeries, including a spinal implant for her Complex Regional Pain Syndrome that has miraculously reduced her pain by over 80%. As she puts it with characteristic humor, "I really should get free HBO at this point with all these things I have to plug in and out."
But just as life seemed to be settling into a healthier rhythm, we experienced what we can only describe as a "tsunami of toxicity" – multiple estranged family members suddenly reaching out from both sides after years of no contact. The timing wasn't random. These reconnection attempts came after these individuals experienced health crises or deaths that shifted their perspectives about mortality and relationships. Yet the painful patterns quickly re-emerged, revealing the self-centered nature of these renewed connections.
What struck us most profoundly was how these same family members never reached out when our daughter was critically ill in organ failure, yet they didn't hesitate to repost about her condition on social media for sympathy. This brought us to the central question that survivors of narcissistic relationships often wrestle with: Can narcissists truly change? Our professional experience and personal journey suggest that while they might adjust their presentation temporarily, fundamental transformation is exceedingly rare.
The conversation takes a deep dive into what drives narcissistic behavior, exploring the calculated nature of how they manipulate and harm others. We discuss the impossibility of imagining life without empathy – the inability to comprehend how someone could go about their daily activities without genuine concern for a loved one in crisis. For those dealing with toxic family relationships, we offer a powerful starting point: ask yourself why someone would derive satisfaction from causing others pain, and why anyone would choose drama and negativity when unconditional love offers so much more fulfillment.
Whether you're currently navigating complicated family dynamics or healing from narcissistic abuse, this raw, heartfelt discussion offers validation, perspective, and practical wisdom. Join us as we explore how to protect your peace while setting appropriate boundaries with those who've caused harm. Life's too short for toxicity – choose joy, authenticity, and genuine connection instead.Support the show
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The overwhelming response to our podcast has shown us just how many people are silently struggling with the aftermath of narcissistic family dynamics. This episode dives deep into what it truly means to be the "black sheep" in a narcissistic family – not a flaw, but a superpower of truth-seeing that threatens those who rely on facades and manipulation.
We share a particularly moving story from a high school listener who reached out after realizing, through our podcast, that she wasn't broken or worthless as she'd been conditioned to believe. Her journey from suicide attempts to seeking therapy while still living in her difficult home situation highlights the critical importance of recognition and validation when navigating these toxic relationships.
Throughout our conversation, we explore common manipulation tactics like the silent treatment, strategies for fostering empathy within impossible family dynamics, and the challenging path of breaking generational cycles when becoming parents ourselves. We address the fear many survivors share: "Will I become like my narcissistic parent?" The answer lies in conscious choice and awareness – the very fact you're worried about this suggests you're already on a different path.
Dana shares insights from her therapeutic journey, while Victoria opens up about her experiences of physical trauma alongside emotional abuse. Together, we emphasize that healing isn't about changing the narcissist (an unlikely outcome) but about reclaiming your own identity and worth despite their influence.
Whether you're currently trapped in a narcissistic family, healing from past wounds, or supporting someone on this journey, this episode offers validation, perspective, and hope. The most beautiful flowers grow from dirt – your painful past doesn't determine your future. Connect with us, share your questions and wins, and remember you're part of a community that understands.Support the show
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Imagine a world where every special needs child feels like a superhero rather than someone who's different. That's exactly what we're creating with the Stucco Squad – our passion project unveiled in this heartfelt episode.
After celebrating my husband's first colonoscopy (yes, really – and men, this is your sign to schedule yours!), we dive into the exciting details of the Stucco Squad initiative. We're assembling incredible gift packages filled with specially selected items that are sensory-friendly and universally accessible. From silicone bracelets that can stay on during medical procedures to wooden "pocket hugs" that provide comfort during challenging moments, each item serves a meaningful purpose while bringing joy.
The Stucco Squad represents everything we believe in – that being "normal" is overrated, that every child deserves to feel extraordinary, and that with the right support, "impossible" becomes "I'm possible." We're creating coloring contests with real prizes, building a supportive community for both children and parents, and collaborating with organizations like Give Kids the World and Make-A-Wish Foundation.
The conversation takes a more serious turn as we discuss California legislation regarding gender reassignment treatments for minors and parental rights – highlighting the importance of protecting children while making thoughtful, age-appropriate decisions about their wellbeing. We also reflect on how modern technology often disrupts genuine family connections, sharing our own commitment to electronics-free dinners and game nights.
Ready to join our squad of extraordinary kids and their supporters? Find us on Facebook by searching "Stucco Squad" in groups. More platforms are coming soon, along with exciting activities and opportunities to get involved. Because every child deserves to know they're a superhero – especially those facing extraordinary challenges.Support the show
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What happens when the people who should love you most become your greatest source of pain? In this raw and unfiltered Q&A episode, Dana and Victoria tackle the toughest questions about narcissistic family relationships sent in by listeners desperately seeking answers.
The conversation dives deep into the psychological warfare experienced within toxic family systems—from feeling responsible for others' behavior to questioning your very right to exist. Both hosts share vulnerable personal experiences that reveal the universal patterns of narcissistic abuse, creating powerful moments of validation for anyone who's ever felt alone in their suffering.
"You don't have to prove anything to anybody," Victoria states emphatically when addressing how to handle judgment from others. This becomes a recurring theme throughout the episode—the gradual reclaiming of personal power and the liberation that comes from setting boundaries with those who refuse to see your truth.
One particularly moving segment addresses a young listener questioning their worth, with both hosts offering heartfelt validation that transcends age, gender identity, and circumstance. "You are here because you were meant to be here," Dana affirms, reminding us that our existence isn't justified by others' approval but by our inherent value as human beings.
The episode doesn't shy away from difficult topics like suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, approaching these subjects with compassion while offering practical perspectives on moving forward. Dana and Victoria emphasize that healing isn't linear—even they still experience moments of doubt—but the difference is in recognizing these as echoes of past trauma rather than accurate reflections of reality.
Whether you're discovering these dynamics for the first time or well along your healing journey, you'll find validation, clarity, and hope in this powerful conversation. Reach out to Dana or Victoria through social media if you're struggling—they're committed to supporting this community through every step of recovery.Support the show
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When a narcissist targets you for abuse, they reserve a special kind of cruelty that no one else sees. This powerful episode pulls back the curtain on narcissistic abuse through raw, firsthand accounts that validate what countless survivors experience behind closed doors.
Dana and her co-host courageously share their personal journeys through narcissistic relationships, revealing how these master manipulators present a charming face to the world while systematically destroying their victims' sense of reality, self-worth, and safety. They discuss Dana's revealing book "Narc Narc, Who's There?" which documents through text messages, emails, and photographs the calculated manipulation narcissists employ.
The conversation explores how narcissistic abuse escalates gradually, testing boundaries until victims become accustomed to increasingly harmful behavior. "It's interesting how they see what they can get away with," one host explains. "It's like dipping your toes in the water... Every time they do something they just go, they just put their toe just over that edge to where they know it's going to poke at you a little."
Particularly moving is their discussion of the physical toll this trauma takes—from eating disorders that persist decades later to the physical pain of simply writing about past experiences. The hosts don't shy away from addressing how narcissistic parents devastate children's development, with alarming statistics showing that 38% of all US children experience at least one incident of domestic violence or abuse before age 18.
Despite the heavy subject matter, the episode offers genuine hope. Both hosts have not only survived but built fulfilling lives after narcissistic abuse. Their message to listeners still trapped in these relationships is clear: healing is possible, you deserve better, and you're not alone in this fight. As one host powerfully states, "We survived it. We are living beautiful lives now. You don't have to stay in that muck."Support the show
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The unexpected viral success of our podcast has revealed a disturbing truth: millions of people recognize the nightmare of narcissistic abuse. While gratified to reach so many, we're heartbroken that our stories resonate with such a vast audience.
This episode takes a dark turn as we explore the shocking reality of narcissistic retaliation. Dana shares a chilling recent incident where someone targeted her daughter Faith's medical insurance shortly after our podcast gained popularity—calling to cancel coverage for a child who nearly lost her life earlier this year. This perfectly demonstrates how narcissists operate: identifying your most vulnerable point and striking there deliberately, even years after you've escaped their direct control.
We dive deep into the ongoing nature of narcissistic abuse, revealing how going "no contact" often isn't the end but merely shifts the battlefield. From smear campaigns that isolate victims from family to intimidation tactics designed to remind you they're still watching, narcissists refuse to relinquish control easily. These aren't just petty annoyances—they're calculated psychological warfare designed to maintain power over your life.
The conversation turns deeply personal as we share our experiences with family estrangement, the pain of watching family gatherings happen without you, and the lifelong journey of healing from being told you're not "enough" by those who should love you unconditionally. We also address a heartfelt message from a listener questioning her strength, reminding everyone that survival itself is evidence of extraordinary resilience.
For anyone currently trapped in the fog of narcissistic abuse or struggling through its aftermath, know this: you're stronger than you realize, you deserve peace, and you're absolutely not alone. Join us next episode for a special Q&A where we'll answer your questions about narcissistic abuse, recovery, and our personal journeys.Support the show
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The unfiltered wisdom of teens takes center stage in this refreshingly honest conversation about youth mental health. When our teenage guests Kinsley and Faith join the podcast, they waste no time delivering hard truths about what young people actually need from the adults in their lives.
"Maybe not hound them so much about a couple of things on the floor of their room," Kinsley suggests when asked what adults can do better. This simple yet profound insight sets the tone for a discussion that peels back the layers of teen-adult communication barriers. Throughout the episode, our young guests highlight the disconnect between what adults think helps and what teens genuinely need: space when appropriate, genuine listening (not the "uh-huh" kind while scrolling on phones), and the security of knowing someone will respond immediately - even to texts sent at 12:50 AM.
The conversation introduces the powerful concept of an "emotional toolbox" - resources teens can access during difficult moments. From creative outlets like Kinsley's remarkable artistic talents to having a designated trusted adult, these tools provide crucial support systems. Victoria shares the touching practice of maintaining an "invisible string" with Kinsley, where intuitive understanding sometimes means simply showing up without being asked and sitting together during tough moments. This level of attunement creates the safety net teens need to navigate emotional challenges.
Our guests offer practical strategies any teen can implement: finding calming creative activities, playing games that redirect anxious thoughts, writing letters to yourself during difficult times, and remembering that hard moments don't last forever. Parents and caregivers will find invaluable insights into building trust with the teens in their lives, while young listeners will discover they're not alone in their experiences and that asking for help isn't weakness - it's wisdom. Ready to transform how you connect with the teens in your life? This episode might just change everything. Visit StuccoSquad on Facebook to join our community and access free resources for supporting teen mental health.Support the show
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What does it mean to heal after narcissistic abuse? In this raw, unfiltered Q&A episode, Dana and Victoria tackle the questions that keep survivors up at night—from handling others' judgment to finding self-worth when everyone around you has tried to strip it away.
"I don't have to prove anything to anybody," Victoria asserts when addressing how to handle others talking down about you. This powerful statement sets the tone for a conversation that gives listeners permission to stop shrinking themselves for people who can't—or won't—see them clearly. The hosts share deeply personal experiences about recognizing they weren't at fault for their abuse, a realization both admit they're still working through even now.
As the episode unfolds, Dana and Victoria create a safe space for exploring how to celebrate your individuality in families that demand conformity. "You don't have to fit in," they remind listeners, challenging the societal expectation that family relationships must follow a predetermined script. Instead, they propose a radical idea: what if the problem was never you?
The most moving moment comes when the hosts address a question from a young listener about suicidal thoughts. Their compassionate response acknowledges the reality of those feelings while offering hope. "You know you're worth the fight because you've started your journey," Victoria says, speaking directly to a teenager questioning their worth while navigating gender transition without family support.
Whether you're questioning if you could someday become a narcissist (spoiler: if you're worried about it, you're not one), feeling responsible for your family's dysfunction, or simply trying to understand how to let people in after abuse, this episode offers validation, clarity, and the comforting reminder that you've survived 100% of your worst days—you are stronger than you know.Support the show
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Mark Wright's story redefines what's possible after traumatic injury. As the first amputee motorcycle officer in United States history, Mark demonstrates that our physical limitations are often far less restrictive than our mental ones.
When Mark crashed his motorcycle after a late-night shift, hitting a disabled vehicle with no lights, his world changed forever. Multiple compound fractures left his left foot "like it went through a meat grinder." Despite doctors' attempts at limb salvage, Mark knew from his Marine Corps experience that amputation was inevitable. What happened next stunned everyone—from amputation in March to full police duty by December, and eventually qualifying for the elite motorcycle officer position, a feat many thought impossible.
"Our minds are our only limit," Mark explains, crediting his extraordinary recovery to mindset and exceptional support from his department. Unlike organizations that might sideline an amputee, Mark's colleagues embraced his return, even modifying equipment to accommodate his prosthetic leg. This partnership between personal determination and institutional support created the perfect environment for success.
Mark approaches life's challenges with remarkable humor and perspective. His license plates read "I'm on my last leg" and "It only cost me a leg." When people stare or ask questions, he uses these moments as teaching opportunities rather than sources of frustration. His philosophy is refreshingly simple: "My foot ain't going to grow back, so why waste emotional energy stressing about it?"
Whether you're facing your own physical challenges or simply need inspiration to overcome life's obstacles, Mark's journey reminds us that our perceived limitations often have little to do with our actual capabilities. Connect with Mark through his social media if you're struggling with similar challenges—he's made it his mission to help others realize they too are unstoppable.Support the show
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The pollen count is high and so are the emotions in this raw, unfiltered conversation between Victoria and Michael. Between sneezes and watery eyes, they dive into the grueling realities of advocacy work—the sleepless nights, endless paperwork, and emotional toll that comes with fighting for those who cannot fight for themselves.
Victoria opens up about a new family she's working with, revealing the complex dynamics involved in cases with multiple children and parents. Michael courageously shares his personal experience as a male survivor of domestic abuse, shedding light on the silent suffering many men endure when society tells them to "take it like a man." His powerful testimony offers hope to other men trapped in abusive relationships, affirming that escape and healing are possible.
The conversation shifts to frustrations with healthcare systems that make patients wait months for necessary surgeries while jumping through bureaucratic hoops. But the most passionate moments come when Victoria fiercely defends her daughter against narcissistic family members who show love only when it benefits them. Her maternal protectiveness ignites as she recounts how these individuals have repeatedly disappointed her daughter despite her unwavering love and desire for genuine connection.
A beautiful highlight emerges when Victoria shares a touching poem written by her daughter—a testament to resilience despite experiencing neglect and pain. This heart-to-heart reminds us that while we cannot choose our biological family, we can create supportive environments with people who truly value us. Listeners struggling with toxic relationships will find validation and encouragement in this authentically human episode about standing up for what's right, even when it's difficult.Support the show
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Ever wondered what happens when you throw together a redhead, a redneck, and a family dynamic that thrives on elaborate pranks? This raw, unfiltered episode takes you straight into the chaotic heart of family relationships where shoes get thrown in restaurant parking lots and trucks become canvases for bird droppings and marshmallows.
But beneath the laughter lies something deeper. When our conversation shifts to children caught in divorce crossfire, we don't hold back. From personal experiences to heartbreaking stories of kids shuttled weekly between homes, we explore the real cost of parental battles. "It's not fair," becomes the recurring theme as we advocate for children who never asked to be pawns in adult conflicts.
The contrast between our lighthearted family antics and these profound reflections mirrors real family life – where profound conversations about childhood trauma might be immediately followed by a heated debate about whether all Skittles actually taste the same. Our impromptu blindfolded taste test brings welcome comic relief before we dive back into family dynamics.
You'll hear unvarnished truths about blended families, co-parenting challenges, and the lasting impact of childhood experiences. We don't claim to have all the answers, but we offer authentic perspectives from people who've lived through the complexities of modern family relationships.
Whether you're navigating co-parenting challenges, curious about blended family dynamics, or simply enjoy unscripted family banter, this episode delivers raw honesty wrapped in humor that can only come from people who genuinely care about each other – even when they're plotting their next outrageous prank.
Join our conversation, and perhaps find some comfort knowing that families everywhere are finding their way through similar challenges with whatever combination of love, humor and occasional chaos they can muster.Support the show
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Take a deep breath with us as we explore the transformation that awaits beyond toxic relationships. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, we step away from the heaviness of narcissistic abuse to focus on something equally important. This beautiful life exists on the other side of healing.
One host shares her harrowing health journey, describing how narcissistic abuse physically manifested as a life-threatening lung condition requiring constant oxygen support, with levels dropping to a dangerous 83%. Yet, within years of leaving that relationship, her body healed dramatically, a powerful metaphor for the emotional recovery possible for all survivors.
We explore those exhilarating moments of freedom when you finally ask yourself, "What do I want?" after years of living by someone else's rules. Whether it's enjoying butter pecan ice cream for dinner or getting your nails done for the first time in years, these small acts of self-determination mark the beginning of reclaiming your authentic self.
The conversation delves into how childhood conditioning shapes adult behaviors, surprisingly, from protective postures around food to unhealthy relationship patterns. We discuss how narcissistic abuse affects not just the direct victim but ripples outward to impact children, family members, and entire communities.
For those still trapped in toxic relationships and wondering if escape is possible, yes, freedom awaits you. The landscape beyond abuse isn't just livable; it's breathtaking. You've survived every dark day so far, and healing, joy, and peace aren't just possibilities; they're your birthright. Join us as we celebrate the view from the other side and remind you that you're worth fighting for.Support the show
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Taking a deep breath becomes an act of revolution after escaping narcissistic abuse. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Faith and Dana step away from their usual format to share profound insights about life after abuse—and why that journey is worth every difficult step.
Faith arrives emotionally drained from six days of intense advocacy work, including a harrowing six-hour standoff, prompting a candid discussion about the toll of supporting those still trapped in toxic dynamics. Rather than dwelling in darkness, they pivot to the transformative healing possible once survivors cross to the other side of trauma.
Dana vulnerably shares how her 25-year marriage to a narcissist nearly killed her—literally. Her body deteriorated to 93 pounds, requiring constant oxygen supplementation as her organs began shutting down, with oxygen levels dangerously low at 83%. Yet within five years of freedom, her health dramatically improved, demonstrating the profound physical healing possible when removed from toxic environments.
The conversation weaves through practical strategies for reclaiming joy after abuse. From Faith's simple act of getting her nails done—a rare moment of self-care—to Dana's liberating realization that she could eat ice cream for dinner without following her ex's rigid rules, these small victories represent monumental steps in the healing journey. Their shared wisdom crystallizes into a powerful question survivors can ask themselves: "What do I want?" A question that feels revolutionary after years of putting everyone else first.
They tackle complex issues with compassion and occasional humor—discussing how childhood conditioning shapes adult behaviors, the physical manifestations of emotional abuse, and why leaving abusive situations is rarely simple. The conversation acknowledges the reality that narcissistic abuse affects entire families, with children's core beliefs about themselves largely formed by age seven.
Join Faith and Dana for this life-affirming reminder that peace, joy, and renewed health await on the other side of narcissistic relationships. If you're struggling, remember their parting message: "You are worth fighting for and you can get past all of this. You are not alone."Support the show
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Every survivor deserves a voice—regardless of gender. When Michael witnessed his wife Victoria's domestic violence advocacy work up close for the first time, it sparked a raw, necessary conversation about who abuse affects and how cycles can be broken.
Victoria pulls back the curtain on her nearly two decades as an advocate, showing how she bridges the gap between survivors, law enforcement, and the court system. She explains the crucial first steps an advocate takes when approaching authorities: "I am not a threat to you, I am a domestic violence advocate." This inside look demystifies a process that many fear, potentially giving survivors the courage to seek the help they deserve.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when Michael shares his own journey as a male survivor of emotional and financial abuse. "I would tell people, 'Oh, that's just the way she is' for years," he reveals, describing how he would "smile and laugh it off" while going home miserable. His vulnerability challenges the harmful stereotype that men can't be victims, showing fellow male survivors they aren't alone in their experiences.
Both hosts emphasize that breaking generational cycles is possible—and essential. "It is not fair to make our children spend their adulthood recovering from their childhood," Victoria states, as they discuss how conscious parenting choices can create homes free from the trauma they experienced. Their message is clear: whether you're seeking help or supporting someone who is, speaking up against abuse changes lives.
Ready to join the conversation about breaking cycles of abuse? Subscribe now and share your thoughts. If you're experiencing domestic violence or know someone who is, resources are available through our website—because everyone deserves a life free from abuse.Support the show
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Heartfelt celebrations and serious conversations collide in this candid episode where we start by toasting Michael's first colonoscopy (yes, really!) and the clean bill of health that followed. It's a perfect reminder that sometimes the most uncomfortable moments become our greatest gifts to those we love - as Michael puts it, "I want to live longer for my family."
The energy shifts as we unveil our passion project: the Stucco Squad. This initiative for special needs children has consumed our hearts completely, with carefully crafted items from superhero bracelets that can be worn through medical procedures to "pocket hugs" for comfort during difficult moments. Drawing from Victoria's personal journey as both a special needs person and parent, every detail has been considered with extraordinary care. "Normal, ordinary - that's who wants it? Nobody does," Victoria shares, capturing the spirit behind this movement to celebrate what makes these children exceptional.
Our conversation takes a more serious turn as we discuss California legislation allowing minors to pursue gender reassignment surgery without parental consent - even permitting legal action against objecting parents. We wrestle with difficult questions about children's capacity for life-altering decisions, sharing perspectives that challenge conventional thinking while maintaining respect for everyone's journey.
Throughout it all runs a thread about genuine human connection in our increasingly digital world. We share how our family dinners remain sacred spaces without phones, where eye contact and conversation remind us what truly matters. "It's the happiness that I crave, it's the longing, it's the belonging," Michael reflects about these precious moments.
We'd love to hear your thoughts on any of these topics. Have you created tech-free family traditions? What do you think about the balance between protecting children and respecting their autonomy? Join our conversation and discover the power of unstoppable, unfiltered authenticity.Support the show
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