Afleveringen
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In this powerful episode of A Guide to Afterlife, Dr. Monika Wieliczko welcomes author Jessica Waite to discuss her memoir "The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards." Jessica shares her journey of discovering her late husband's secrets after his sudden death and how she navigated the complex emotions of grief, anger, and healing.
This episode offers valuable insights for young widows dealing with complicated grief and the process of reclaiming one's life after loss.
Main Discussion Points:
- Jessica's story of loss and discovery
- The impact of uncovering secrets after a partner's death Navigating complicated grief and anger
- The importance of truth in the healing process
- The transformative power of grief and creative expression Rebuilding identity and finding hope after betrayal
Resources:
Ready to move from surviving to thriving after loss? Visit guidetoafterlife.com to access our free Grief MOT program - your first-aid kit for grief.
Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief: https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/podcast-signup
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
Guest Bio: Jessica Waite is the author of "The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards." She lives in Canada and has an 18-year-old son. Jessica's memoir details her journey of grief, anger, and healing after discovering her late husband's secrets following his sudden death. Key Quotes: [00:34:37] Jessica Waite: "So, essentially, what it felt like after I found out these secrets was that my whole life had been a lie. And that if he was hiding so much and keeping such big secrets from me and lying to me, like, every single day, then how could I trust anything that he ever said and that everything must, like, have been a complete lie." [00:47:59] Jessica Waite: "He said if you don't mourn, you will grieve for the rest of your life and it's like being dead while you're still alive. And I was like, exactly. And I could see like I know people who have had that experience and I didn't want that for myself."
You can connect with Jessica through her website: https://www.jessicawaite.work/ and Instagram.
Your Hostâs BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
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Are you struggling to balance your grief with work responsibilities? You're not alone. In our latest Guide to Afterlife podcast episode, we tackle the challenging topic of returning to work after loss. Our special guests, Dr. Mekel Harris and Janet Gwilliam-Wright, founders of BloomWell Partners, share invaluable insights on:
⢠Common challenges grieving employees face
⢠How workplace culture impacts the grieving process
⢠Practical accommodations employers can offer
⢠Ways colleagues can provide meaningful support
⢠The importance of grief literacy in organisationsKey takeaways:
Grief is invisible but profoundly impacts work performanceBoth employees and employers have roles in facilitating a healthy return to workProactive planning and open communication are crucialDon't miss out on these expert strategies for navigating grief in the workplace.
Resources:
Ready to move from surviving to thriving after loss? Visit guidetoafterlife.com to access our free Grief MOT program - your first-aid kit for grief.
Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief: https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/podcast-signup
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
Guests Bios:
Janet Gwilliam-Wright has over twenty years of experience leading large organisational change and working on complex policy issues. A leader in the grief and loss space, Janet founded the Motherlove Project, a global platform for motherless daughters in 2020. Janet received a Master of Arts and Master of Public Administration from Queen's University. She and her partner Meghan live in Ottawa, Ontario with their two amazing daughters.
Dr. Mekel Harris is a licensed psychologist, TEDx speaker, author, and CEO of Harris Psychological Services, LLC. She provides training, education, and consultation to organisations around the globe, as well as individual and group therapy services. Dr. Harris is co-founder of Bloomwell Partners, LLC, a consulting firm that equips corporate entities with the skills necessary to afford grief-informed leadership and care within the workplace. Throughout the past decade, she has presented at >30 domestic and international conferences and has been interviewed on several podcasts, with topics ranging from grief and loss to community mental health and trauma. Dr. Harris has been featured as a mental health expert on FOX13 Memphis, published articles in several major publications, and served as a professional contributor to popular magazines. In 2016, she wrote Relaxing Into the Pain, a faith-based memoir that highlights her grief journey â one filled with peaks, valleys, and spiritual crossroads.
How to connect with Mekel and Janet:
Website: www.mekelharrisphd.com Bloomwell Partners: www.growwithbloomwell.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/drmekelharris
Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMekel Instagram: drmekel Twitter: @DrMekelYour Hostâs BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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On 3rd March 2017, a few days before she passed away from ovarian cancer, Amy Krouse Rosenthal wrote a piece titled âYou May Want to Marry My Husbandâ for the New York Timesâs Modern Love column. It was Amy's final piece of writing: a love letter in a form of a dating profile â a gift to her husband, Jason Rosenthal, that, at the very end, gave him permission to live life without her. Her letter went viral with over 5 million people reading it.
I met with Jason Rosenthal on 14th February to talk about his grief journey almost exactly 8 years after Amy's death to talk about a memoir which he had written in response to his late wife's letter:
âMy Wife Said You May Want to Marry Meâ
The memoir gives readers an intimate look into the coupleâs marriage and family, her death, and Rosenthalâs life without her.
This is a story about giving permission to live, the ultimate act of love.
In this episode, Jason shares his personal story of losing his wife, and how her viral essay "You May Want to Marry My Husband" changed his life.
Key topics discussed:
Amy's final gift of permission to move forwardThe challenges of caring for a terminally ill partnerThe importance of community support in griefFinding resilience and joy after lossNavigating new relationships while honouring past loveDon't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Join a free Facebook Group
- Find out more about grief support
Guest's Bio:
Jason B. Rosenthal is an author, foundation Board Chair, public speaker and lawyer who retrained to be a social worker and is now working therapeutically with grieving individuals. He is also the subject of an essay written by his wife, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, called You May Want to Marry My Husband that went viral and was read by millions of readers worldwide. His first book, written in collaboration with his daughter Paris called Dear Boy, debuted on the New York Times Bestseller list at #1. His response to Amyâs piece titled, My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me was published in 2018.
- Listen to Jason's TedTalk
- Jason's sliding scale clinic for bereaved individuals, children and families.
Connect with Dr Monika Wieliczko
- Facebook
- Instagram
- LinkedIn
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Have you ever wondered what goes on in our bodies when we are grieving a loved one?
In our latest episode of Guide to After Life, I sat down with Mary Frances O'Connor, PhD, a leading expert in grief research, to explore the fascinating connection between our minds and bodies during the grieving process.
Here's a glimpse of what you'll learn:
⢠How our bodies physically respond to loss and signs to look out for that can save your life
⢠The surprising link between grief and inflammation
⢠Why some people find it harder to adjust after bereavement
⢠Practical tips for supporting your body through griefDr. O'Connor shares insights from her new book, "The Grieving Body," and offers a compassionate perspective on how the stress of loss can become an opportunity for healing. The book will be published on 27th February 2025 in the UK and 11th February in the USA.
Whether you're navigating your own grief journey or supporting someone who is, this conversation will shed light on the often-overlooked physical aspects of bereavement.
Useful Links:
Buy The Grieving Body book
Learn more about how your body and mind respond to loss by taking part in the Grief MOT.
Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Join a free Facebook Group
- Find out more about grief support
Guest BIO:
About Mary-FrancesMary-Frances O'Connor is a Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona. Her research focuses on the physiological correlates of emotion, in particular the wide range of physical and emotional responses during bereavement, including yearning and isolation. She believes that a clinical science approach toward the experience and mechanisms of grieving can improve interventions for prolonged grief disorder, newly included in the revised DSM-5.
Connect with Mary-Frances O'Connor
- Instagram
- LinkedIn
https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/
Connect with Dr Monika Wieliczko
- Facebook
- Instagram
- LinkedIn
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Have you been struggling to access free grief support or would like to support someone who is going through a bereavement? This episode might be for you. Letâs explore alternative ways of learning about grief and moving beyond traditional counselling and therapy. I had the pleasure of talking to Dr. Melissa Lunardini, Chief Clinical Officer at Help Texts, a text-based grief support platform. We discuss the benefits of this unique approach, its impact on the grieving process, and how technology can bridge the gap in grief education and support. If you are currently living in the UK, do not miss out on taking part in this free programme before it runs out. Scroll down to access the link below.
Key Insights & Timestamps:
⢠00:00:49 Introduction to alternative grief support methods, focusing on text-based support.
⢠00:02:12 Dr. Lunardini shares her background in grief work & the genesis of Help Texts. It originated from a personal loss and a desire to create accessible support.
⢠00:05:03 Discussion on the limitations of traditional grief support and how text messaging offers a more accessible, low-burden approach.
⢠00:10:48 Exploration of the science behind text-based support. Dr. Lunardini explains how text messages engage the brain's dopamine loop, leading to increased motivation & a sense of being cared for.
⢠00:17:02 How Help Texts creates personalised messages based on user input and the expertise of grief specialists, ensuring relevant support tailored to individual experiences.
⢠00:22:11 How the platform addresses significant dates and holidays, prompting supporters to reach out and lessening the burden of remembering for both grievers and their networks.
⢠00:24:32 Reflection on the importance of shared grief experiences and how Help Texts facilitates connection and remembrance.
⢠00:32:01 The critical role of reliable information in grief support, and Help Texts' commitment to curating content from vetted experts.
⢠00:46:35 Acknowledging the cognitive challenges of grieving and how bite-sized text messages are more digestible than traditional educational materials.
⢠00:51:03 Discussion of common obstacles to accessing grief support, and how innovative approaches like Help Texts can break down these barriers.
Notable Quotes:
⢠"I too, I think was initially skeptical⌠weâve only ever been taught that there's this traditional path for bereavement support." - Dr. Melissa Lunardini
⢠"Until I saw your text, I thought I was losing my mind⌠thank you for making me realise that this is just a normal part." - Help Texts user
⢠"It's like the lights are on, but nobody's home." - Dr. Melissa Lunardini, describing the early weeks of grief.
Resources & Links:
https://sueryder.grief.coach/ - free personalised grief coaching programme via text for anyone living in the UK.
https://helptexts.com/
Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief: https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/podcast-signup
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
Guestâs BIO:
Bio:
Melissa Lunardini, Ph.D., MBA, MA, FT, has 20 years of experience in grief, loss, and trauma with specialisations in childhood bereavement, theory, grief technology, and trauma. She has developed innovative programs and interventions across various industries including healthcare, education, and non-profit. As Chief Clinical Officer at Help Texts, Dr. Lunardini oversees the delivery of global mental health and grief support via text message. She ensures all content is rooted in evidence-based practices, manages the subscriber support team, and leads research initiatives. A Fellow in Thanatology, Dr. Lunardini is a sought-after presenter and researcher. Her work on text-based grief support has been published in preeminent journals and presented at international conferences.Your Hostâs BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
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Navigating Dating After Loss
Episode Overview: As we are approaching Valentine's Day and are just about to watch Bridget Jone's new film on dating as a widow and a single mum, my mind was preoccupied with preparing an episode addressing the complexities of modern dating after losing a life partner. In this episode, we are exploring the conflicting emotions that arise when grief and the prospect of new relationships collide. Joining me is Nicky Wake, founder of Chapter Two, a dating platform designed specifically for widows and widowers.
Nicky shares her personal journey of loss and how it inspired her to create this unique space for others navigating similar experiences. We discuss the challenges of re-entering the dating world, societal expectations surrounding widowhood, the importance of finding a supportive community, and practical tips for dating safely and thoughtfully.
Key Insights:
There's no right time to start dating again. Each individual's grief journey is unique, and there's no set timeline for when it's appropriate to consider dating. Listen to your own intuition and don't let societal pressures dictate your decisions.Dating after loss is a complex experience. It's normal to feel a mix of excitement, guilt, and apprehension. Be prepared for emotional ups and downs, and allow yourself grace and patience as you navigate this new terrain.Transparency and communication are key. Be open and honest with yourself about your needs and expectations. Communicate clearly with potential partners about your grief journey and what you're looking for in a relationship.Finding a supportive community is essential. Connect with other widows and widowers who understand your experience. Sharing your struggles and triumphs with others can provide invaluable support and validation.Safety is paramount. Take precautions when dating online, such as meeting in public places, keeping communication on the platform, and avoiding sharing personal or financial information too soon.Notable Quotes:
"Dating after loss can give you hope that your story isn't over. There is another chapter quite literally and figuratively, your second chapter." - Nicky Wake [00:11:19]"As widows, we don't move on. We move forward." - Nicky Wake [00:23:48]"It takes a really big person, man or woman, to deal with that vulnerability and to respect it." - Nicky Wake [00:22:45]Timestamps:
[00:02:59]: Nicky shares her personal story of loss and the creation of Chapter Two.[00:19:37]: Discussion on when is the "right time" to start dating again.[00:23:11]: Breaking the taboo of dating after loss.[00:33:47]: Discussion of the Chapter Two member survey and its findings.[00:43:03]: Practical safety tips for dating.Resources & Links:
Chapter Two Dating App: https://www.chapter2dating.app/Widows Fire: https://widowsfire.dating/Survey results: https://www.chapter2dating.app/love-after-loss-rediscovering-joy-and-connection/Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief: https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/podcast-signup
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
Your Hostâs BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
Connect with Nicky Wake:
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/Chapter2Dating/
https://www.facebook.com/widowsfireuk
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/chapter2_dating?igsh=MzVuYTA5ZDVndWlv&utm_source=qr
https://www.instagram.com/widowsfireuk?igsh=NDkycG9mYnVzNmlm&utm_source=qr
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Our conversation with Mandy Gosling on childhood bereavement explored the profound and long-lasting impact of losing a parent in childhood. Mandy's personal story and professional insights shed light on how early loss shapes our lives, often in ways we don't fully realise until adulthood.
Key Points to Reflect On:
Children grieve differently from adults. Their grief may not always be obvious, but it's deeply felt and can resurface at various life stages.The impact of childhood loss can manifest in adult relationships, attachment styles, and coping mechanisms.It's crucial to keep the memory of the deceased parent alive, especially for children. This helps in their grieving process and identity formation.Grief work can happen at any age. It's never too late to address unresolved childhood loss.For those who have experienced childhood bereavement or are supporting children through loss, this episode provided valuable insights and a sense of validation.
Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief: https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/podcast-signup
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
Your Hostâs BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
Mandy Gosling
Mandy Gosling is a UKCP and MBACP accredited psychotherapist, researcher and author, specialising in long-term grief experienced by adults who were bereaved as children.
As a bereaved child herself, aged 9, Mandy completed a MA Research in 2016 to understand the long-term impact of childhood bereavement. ABC Grief â Adults Bereaved as Children, was formed from this research to share knowledge and resources for individuals, and professionals, in this specialist area of bereavement and grief. Her central focus of private practice is working with individuals who experienced childhood loss and she runs workshops in London. She is the Clinical Lead at Itâs Time Charity who supports young adults with the experience of parental loss and facilitates their group therapy.
Mandy publicly speaks on this topic and is a contributing author in the anthology entitled My Motherâs Story â Gone Too Soon. She has been published in articles for BACP Therapy Today magazine, and UKCP New Psychotherapist magazine, highlighting the long-term impact of childhood bereavement. She has been interviewed on BBC Woman's Hour and has contributed to various podcasts to bring awareness to this topic. Mandy has been part of the All-Party Parliamentary Group alongside the charity Winstonâs Wish for childhood bereavement.
She is currently undertaking her PhD at The University of Humanistic Studies in Utrecht, Netherlands, under the guidance of Prof. dr. Geert Smid. This investigation is to add to the scientific knowledge of long-term grief in adults who were bereaved as children. She is also a wife, Mum to two adult children and Nana to two grandchildren.
Resources:
For more information, visit www.abcgrief.co.uk or www.mandygosling.co.uk or the social media platforms below:
linkedin.com
https://www.instagram.com/abcgrief/
Mandy Gosling Psychotherapy & ABC Grief
facebook.com
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A Rollercoaster Marriage: Navigating Loss of a Partner with Dr Louise Lomas, Educational and Child Psychologist
Overview:
This episode dives deep into the turbulent waters of complex grief, exploring the unspoken truths about marriages and loss when relationships are far from perfect. Dr. Louise Lomas, a child & educational psychologist, shares her personal journey of love, loss, and the intricate challenges of grieving a partner with serious mental health problems. This raw & honest conversation unpacks the rollercoaster of emotions experienced when navigating grief after a complicated marriage, offering solace & validation to those who find themselves grappling with similar experiences.
Key Insights:
The Unspoken Truth About Marriages: Marriages aren't always picture-perfect. This episode acknowledges the messy realities of long-term relationships and the unique challenges faced when grieving a partner after a complicated marriage. The importance of honest conversations about the complexities of love & loss is highlighted. ([00:01:06])Loving Too Much: The concept of "loving too much" is explored, delving into the dynamics of codependency & the challenges of disentangling oneself from a relationship where personal needs become intertwined with the needs of a partner. ([00:38:59])The Inner Child & Grief: Dr. Lomas discusses how unresolved childhood issues can manifest in adult relationships, impacting how we grieve and the intensity of our emotional responses. ([00:34:30])The Stigma of Mental Health & Addiction in Grief: The added layer of stigma surrounding mental health & addiction is addressed, emphasizing the difficulty of processing grief when a partner struggled with these issues. ([00:05:07])Rewriting the Narrative: Dr. Lomas suggests the possibility of rewriting the narrative of a complicated relationship after loss, offering a path towards healing by reframing painful memories and exploring alternative outcomes. ([00:57:15])Notable Quotes & Moments:
"Sometimes you love somebody so much that you can let them go because it's not healthy for either of you." ([00:03:12])"We were physically separated, but not emotionally separated." ([00:04:36])"Codependency is about the kind of love and support that you give for each other because you're the only ones that can really understand what is broken in you." ([00:33:09])"Grief needs no reason... it cradles you and strokes you, tears at you with its strong teeth, warms you with memories...cruelly loving so that you want more and dread its coming." ([00:49:39])Timestamps:
Introduction of Dr. Louise Lomas: [00:00:52]Dr. Lomas's Background & Experience: [00:02:15]The Rollercoaster of Their Marriage: [00:06:59]The Decision to Separate: [00:16:57]Sam's Passing: [00:22:31]Processing Complex Grief: [00:35:05]Rewriting the Narrative: [00:57:15]Dr. Lomas's Poem on Grief: [00:49:39]Louiseâs Poem:
Grief needs no reason.
Catapulted into consciousness it becomes your unpredictable companion,
walking silently and raging tumultuously,
keeping pace and stumbling blindly beside you.
It cradles you and strokes you,
tears at you with its strong teeth,
warms you with memories.
Memories that bind you to it.
Lovingly cruel, cruelly loving
so that you want more and dread its coming.
Bio:
I am an educational and child psychologist currently living and working in Australia in private practice as part of a paediatric psychology clinic. I trained at UCL and worked for a Local Authority for a few years before setting up in private practice in 2016. In July 2021, I moved to New Delhi where I worked as the psychologist for an American international school - I absolutely loved living in India! While there, I was offered a great job here on the Mornington peninsula, which is just south of Melbourne, and I moved here in September 2023.
I have two adult sons, one in Melbourne and one in Sheffield. I was married to my husband, Sam, for 32 years.
Resources:
Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief.
Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offerUnsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.Find out more about grief supportYour Hostâs BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
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Season 2, Episode 1: Grief Comes Before Death: Anticipatory Grief with Claire Dawson & Tatum De Roeck from Shine, Cancer Charity.
Episode Overview: This episode delves into the often-overlooked realm of anticipatory grief, exploring the complex emotions and challenges faced by partners of individuals diagnosed with incurable cancer. I had an absolute honour to talk to two inspirational women: Claire Dawson and Tatum Roeck from SHINE, a cancer charity supporting individuals in their 20s, 30s, and 40s with cancer diagnosis, and their families. Together, they unravel the layers of anticipatory grief, offering insights, validation, and practical advice for navigating this difficult journey.
Key Discussion Points:
The Cultural Disconnect: The episode highlights the lack of cultural understanding and language surrounding death and dying, particularly when it comes to younger individuals facing a cancer diagnosis. This often leads to isolation and difficulty processing the overwhelming emotions that arise. (00:11:00)
The Shock and Denial: The initial shock of a diagnosis can trigger self-preservation mechanisms, making it hard to acknowledge the life-altering shift that has occurred. This is often compounded by well-meaning but dismissive comments from others. (00:15:24)
The Importance of Space: SHINE's programs provide a safe and supportive space for partners to express their complex feelings without judgment, recognizing that anticipatory grief involves a range of emotions, from anger and guilt to the pre-grieving of a relationship that has already changed. (00:17:06)
Navigating Changing Relationships: The episode explores the difficult reality of how relationships transform when a partner is facing a terminal illness, and how the traditional roles of spouse and caregiver can become blurred. (00:34:55)
Finding Resilience Through Self-Care: Simple practices like breathing exercises, massage, yoga, and physical touch can be crucial for managing stress, regulating emotions, and tending to oneself during times of intense emotional strain. (00:46:22)
The Power of Shared Experience: The camaraderie and shared laughter within SHINE's programs offer a unique form of support, allowing individuals to connect with others who truly understand their experiences. (00:23:31)
Asking for Help: The episode emphasizes the importance of identifying one's needs and seeking support, even when it feels difficult or unnatural. SHINE's programs offer guidance and encouragement in this area. (01:00:04)
Notable Quotes:
"It is the end of the life you thought you were going to have." - Tatum De Roeck (00:38:13)
"To have that and often very suddenly taken away... no wonder it feels like a part of you dying too because in some ways it is, isn't it?" - Clare Dawson (00:39:44)
Guests Bios:
Clare Dawson
Clare is our Programme Delivery Manager and oversees our four online programmes which run throughout the year. She also delivers workshops to healthcare professionals and in person day events. Making sure that all our programmes reflect the kinds of conversations we know are important to young adults going through cancer; she loves speaking to prospective participants, facilitating sessions and devising content.
Clare originally trained in Law with a particular interest in criminal defence and medical negligence but her health got in the way and she put down the case law and legislation in 2010. Subsequently, she found her way to Shine after some counselling training and several years working as a freelance trainer in healthcare environments, doing her best to make sure that the patientâs perspective is heard and prioritised. In every role, Clare realised that her priority was making sure that people going through difficult times didnât have to do it alone.
Clare initially joined Shine as a member in 2016 after treatment for an osteosarcoma at 17 left her with some tricky long term health complications to manage. In her downtime, she likes true crime series, overspending at bookshops and shooting the breeze with her (or anyone elseâs) dog.
Tatum De Roeck
Tatum is a facilitator on Shineâs Break Out programme and has previously contributed to many Great Escapes and Shine Connect conferences. As a yoga teacher and body worker sheâs created classes for Shine, shared lots of relaxation and self massage tips, while also being a peer supporter and host of Shineâs podcast Not Your Grandmaâs Cancer Show.
Tatum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011, while living in LA, but she had to come back to the UK and start her life here from scratch without her circle of friends. She went to a Shine drinks meetup and met a great group of people. Over the 8 years with Shine sheâs worn many different hats. She loves hula hooping but isnât very good at it, yet.
Resources & Links:
SHINE Cancer Support: Visit their website https://shinecancersupport.org/get-support/friends-family-support/ to learn more about their programs and how to apply:
https://shinecancersupport.org/get-support/programmes-and-events/
Not Your Grandma's Cancer Show Podcast: Listen to SHINE's podcast for more personal stories and insights: https://shinecancersupport.org/resources/podcast-2/
Connect with Shine on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShineCancerSupport/?locale=en_GB
and Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shinecancersupport/?hl=en-gb
If you've been touched by the experiences shared in this episode, please consider supporting SHINE by spreading the word about their valuable work, donating or fundraising for Shine by visiting their website: https://shinecancersupport.org/support-us/
Don't forget to subscribe to A Guide to After Life podcast list to be notified of more conversations about navigating grief:
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
Your Host:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
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Welcome to A Guide to After Life, your go-to podcast for young widows. Iâm your host, Dr. Monika Wieliczko, a psychologist and a fellow widow, helping you move from surviving to thriving after loss. Following on from a highly acclaimed first season, Iâm delighted to announce Season 2 begins on 21st January.
Iâm excited to announce I will be joined by world renowned grief experts and authors discussing complex grief issues, sharing their knowledge and personal stories of loss. We explore how grief manifests in your body, learn ways to regulate your nervous system, and support your childrenâs grieving process.
My aim is to challenge the way you think about loss, empower you to face your feelings, and help you develop resilient ways to grieve. Have you ever considered how your personality, past experiences, and the culture you live in shape the way you grieve? What if your reactions to the loss are driven by patterns that you may not be aware of? If you want to find out how to cope with complicated relationships after loss, learn ways to manage grief bombs in the workplace, and how losing a parent can impact your childâs life. This is the podcast for you.
To find out more, visit â www.guidetoafterlife.comâ and take part in the Grief MOT, your first step to move from surviving to thriving after loss. Join the grief revolution from 21st January on your preferred podcast platform where every Tuesday we tackle grief topics no one else dares to talk about.
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As we close Season One of A Guide to After Life, I want to take a moment to reflect on the meaningful conversations weâve had over the past three months. Itâs been a deeply moving journey, exploring grief and resilience through the lens of different experiences and perspectives.
In this episode, I look back on some of the key themes weâve touched on:
The complexities of relationships after loss and how grief impacts connection.The unique ways children experience and process grief, including their understanding of its permanence.The challenges of solo parenting in the midst of grief and the importance of self-compassion.How grief affects our neuropsychology and the healing power of understanding this process.One thread that has run through all our discussions is the importance of vulnerability and shared experiences. Grief is often isolating, but when we open up to othersâwhether through professional support, community, or simply honest conversationsâit can foster connection and healing.
Looking ahead to Season Two, Iâm committed to diving even deeper into topics like grief, loss, and rebuilding life after loss. If there are specific areas youâd like to hear about, Iâd love to know.
Thank you for being a part of this season. Your engagement and willingness to explore these difficult but essential topics have been incredible. Together, weâre creating a community of support, understanding, and hope.
Listen now to reflect with me on this season and look forward to whatâs to come in Season Two.
Help me share the future of our podcast:Do you have a burning question you would like me to answer or an important message to share with your fellow widows? Whether you would like to be my guest speaker or have a questions concerning loss, grief and life after loss, please get in touch with me. Fill out the form and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
Helpful links and resources:
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
My BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook, Instagram, Linked In
I have lost my life partner of 15 years to bowel cancer after a long and gruesome fight for his life. These experiences shaped and changed me forever affecting every aspect of my life personally and professionally. The three most challenging years of my life made me realise that our society has a profound problem with death and shaped my understanding of what life is really about.
I consciously bring both perspectives into my practice; incorporating 15 yearsâ worth of knowledge of how our minds work with a large dose of lived experience of grief and mourning.
I know the pain of loss but I also understand the burden of unaddressed grief.
The unresolved feelings surrounding your late partner can prolong your grief for years, stopping you from truly mourning your loss, affecting your entire life. By making a conscious effort to understand and work through your grief you give yourself permission to live your life again.
Apart from running a private practice, I am also a visiting lecturer at The Institute of Psychiatry in London delivering teaching for trainee clinical psychologists. My research interests involve the effects of profound trauma on grief response and the community-based approach to helping people with grief. I have worked within the NHS as well as private and charitable organisations in the UK since 2011. I have trained at various universities across the UK and Poland and I have completed my doctoral studies at the Canterbury Christ Church University.
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In this eye-opening episode of "A Guide to Afterlife," Dr. Monika Wieliczko and Dr. Magdalena Goryczko dive deep into the complex world of guilt and grief, offering invaluable insights for young widows navigating the aftermath of loss.
Key Discussion Points:
1. The unexpected feelings that arise after losing a partner, including relief and anger
2. How societal expectations can clash with a young widow's actual grief experience
3. The challenge of acknowledging complicated emotions about the deceased spouse
4. Why guilt might be holding you back from fully living after loss
5. The importance of creating space for all emotions, even the ones that feel "wrong"Intriguing Insights:
- Dr. Goryczko suggests that guilt might act as a "glue" keeping us connected to our late partner, preventing us from moving forward
- Both experts discuss how talking about death, surprisingly, can generate more aliveness and freedom in our thinking
- The episode explores how guilt might be protecting you from other difficult emotions you're not ready to faceTakeaway Points for Young Widows Coping with Guilt:
1. Recognise that guilt is a normal part of grief, even if it doesn't make logical sense
2. Allow yourself to acknowledge all your feelings about your late partner, including negative ones
3. Understand that living fully after loss is not a betrayal of your partner's memory
4. Challenge societal expectations about how you "should" grieve
5. Consider creating designated times or spaces to explore your grief and guilt, either in therapy or with trusted friendsThis episode offers a fresh perspective on guilt in grief, specifically tailored for young widows. It invites listeners to explore their complex emotions without judgment and provides hope for finding a path forward that honours both their loss and their continuing life.
Guest Bio:
Dr. Magdalena Goryczko is a Counselling Psychologist and founder of Dorset Street Psychotherapy Practice, with over 20 years of clinical experience. Her passion for in-depth understanding of psychological states and psychoanalysis has led her to pursue training as a psychoanalyst at the Institute of Psychoanalysis in London. Dr. Goryczko brings a wealth of knowledge and a nuanced understanding to the complex interplay of emotions in grief, offering young widows a compassionate and insightful perspective on their journey through loss.Connect with Magda:
- Dorset Street Practice
- Linked In
Helpful links and resources:
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
My BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook, Instagram, Linked In
I have lost my life partner of 15 years to bowel cancer after a long and gruesome fight for his life. These experiences shaped and changed me forever affecting every aspect of my life personally and professionally. The three most challenging years of my life made me realise that our society has a profound problem with death and shaped my understanding of what life is really about.
I consciously bring both perspectives into my practice; incorporating 15 yearsâ worth of knowledge of how our minds work with a large dose of lived experience of grief and mourning.
I know the pain of loss but I also understand the burden of unaddressed grief.
The unresolved feelings surrounding your late partner can prolong your grief for years, stopping you from truly mourning your loss, affecting your entire life. By making a conscious effort to understand and work through your grief you give yourself permission to live your life again.
Apart from running a private practice, I am also a visiting lecturer at The Institute of Psychiatry in London delivering teaching for trainee clinical psychologists. My research interests involve the effects of profound trauma on grief response and the community-based approach to helping people with grief. I have worked within the NHS as well as private and charitable organisations in the UK since 2011. I have trained at various universities across the UK and Poland and I have completed my doctoral studies at the Canterbury Christ Church University.
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Are you a grieving widow struggling to support your children through loss? This episode is for you. Dr Ceri Savage de Lifsitz, a consultant clinical psychologist specialising in child development, joins us to explore how children grieve and how you can help them navigate this difficult journey.
Learn about:
- How children's grief differs from adults'
- Age-appropriate ways to discuss death and loss
- The power of play and storytelling in processing grief
- Balancing grief and life for both you and your children
- Creating meaningful rituals to honour your lost loved one
- Handling setbacks and regressions in your child's grief journeyDr Savage de Lifsitz offers compassionate insights and practical advice to help you support your children while managing your own grief. Discover how to create a safe space for open conversations, embrace life alongside loss, and foster resilience in your family.
Resources for Grieving Families:
1. Winston's Wish: UK charity offering support for bereaved children and young people. http://www.winstonswish.org
2. The Ruth Foundation: Provides grief support services for children, teens, and families. http://www.ruthfoundation.com
3. Grief Encounter: Helps bereaved children and their families rebuild their lives. http://www.griefencounter.org.uk
4. Child Bereavement UK: Supports families when a child grieves or when a child dies. http://www.childbereavementuk.org
5. The Dougy Center: Provides support groups and resources for grieving children and families. http://www.dougy.org
Guest Bio:
Dr. Ceri Savage de Lifsitz is a clinical psychologist who has worked for many years with children, families, carers and parents and other professionals who also work with chindren. Her first interest was developmental psychology, initially in academic research, then as a clinician, and the fascination has remained throughout her career. As we develop, humans are a mass of interactions, which somehow unfold over time. Ceri applies psychology to explore how this works. Ceri is also a parent herself.You can connect with Ceri via Linked in.
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Episode Summary:
In this deeply moving episode of A Guide to After Life, I sit down with Emma Gray, an award-winning grief and life coach and former Wills and Probate solicitor. Together, they navigate the heart of âsadminâ â the overwhelming and often isolating task of managing a loved oneâs end-of-life administration. Emma shares her journey of becoming a widow and single parent following her husband's battle with terminal cancer, offering her insights on navigating anticipatory grief, the importance of end-of-life planning, and the emotional challenges that come with sorting out our "sadmin."Emma encourages us to find moments of hope and joy amid grief. She has created tools, resources, and courses to support people in facing their grief and organising their lives during one of the most challenging times. This conversation delves into practical tips for managing grief, both administratively and emotionally, while offering comfort and community to those moving through profound loss.
Key Topics Covered:
Emma's personal journey with anticipatory grief and the challenges of bereavementThe concept of "sadmin" â tackling the administrative tasks that follow a loved one's passingHow proactive life planning can ease the burden on family membersTips for starting and managing your own âsadminâThe impact of societal expectations on grief and how to move forward meaningfullyEmmaâs âRainbow Huntingâ approach to grief and growthDetails on Emma's SadminÂŽ course and resources for practical and emotional supportEmma's Bio:
Emma Gray is becoming a leading figure in the realm of life planning and bereavement support. A former award-winning solicitor turned grief and life coach, Emma's personal heartbreaking journey has shaped her into a powerful advocate for proactive life organisation and compassionate grief support.In her mid-thirties, Emmaâs world was turned upside down when her Royal Marine husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer, leaving her to solo parent their two young children and take on the familyâs financial responsibilities. Emma's journey through her husband's probate and bereavement administration left her grateful for his thoughtful preparations, inspiring her passion for helping others to plan for lifeâs most challenging moments.
Today, Emma is the creator of the transformative SadminÂŽ course and the national award-winning Will Challenge, both designed to demystify end-of-life planning and empower individuals in creating legacies. Her unique "Rainbow Hunting" philosophy â finding hope and joy in dark times â is woven throughout her work. Emmaâs expertise, coupled with her lived experience and neurodivergent insights, bridges the gap between practical planning and emotional support, providing a holistic approach to navigating lifeâs toughest transitions.
Emmaâs work has been recognized with various awards, and she actively collaborates with organisations like the Association of Lifetime Lawyers and the Society of Later Life Advisers. Through her compassionate guidance, Emma is redefining how we approach life organization, bereavement, and legacy creation.
Links & Resources:
SadminÂŽ Course and ResourcesFree Will Challenge sign up Emmaâs social media handles: Instagram & Facebook: @rainbowhuntingmoments LinkedIn: emmagrayTake part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
Book a free 15-consultation with Dr Monika Wieliczko to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
Find out about Grief Group Therapy that Dr Wieliczko offers
Host's BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook, Instagram, Linked In
I have lost my life partner of 15 years to bowel cancer after a long and gruesome fight for his life. These experiences shaped and changed me forever affecting every aspect of my life personally and professionally. The three most challenging years of my life made me realise that our society has a profound problem with death and shaped my understanding of what life is really about.
I consciously bring both perspectives into my practice; incorporating 15 yearsâ worth of knowledge of how our minds work with a large dose of lived experience of grief and mourning.
I know the pain of loss but I also understand the burden of unaddressed grief.
The unresolved feelings surrounding your late partner can prolong your grief for years, stopping you from truly mourning your loss, affecting your entire life. By making a conscious effort to understand and work through your grief you give yourself permission to live your life again.
Apart from running a private practice, I am also a visiting lecturer at The Institute of Psychiatry in London delivering teaching for trainee clinical psychologists. My research interests involve the effects of profound trauma on grief response and the community-based approach to helping people with grief. I have worked within the NHS as well as private and charitable organisations in the UK since 2011. I have trained at various universities across the UK and Poland and I have completed my doctoral studies at the Canterbury Christ Church University.
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In this episode, we are exploring the connection between grief and the body, and how physical symptoms like tension, shallow breathing, and even inflammation are often silent companions to emotional pain resulting from grief. If youâre a widow struggling with these physical manifestations of grief, this conversation with Dr. Beth Stroyde might resonate deeply with you.
Dr. Beth Stroyde and I discuss how practices like yoga and other somatic techniques can offer reliefânot just for your body, but for your mind as well as soothe your heart. Yoga practised with the right intentions can help you bridge the gap between your emotions and the physical discomfort youâre feeling. We talk about how tuning into your bodyâs wisdom can help you navigate this difficult journey, offering more than just temporary relief, but a way to truly understand and process your grief.
Youâll hear about the powerful role of breathing, how something as simple as deepening your breath can unlock physical and emotional release, and how to give yourself permission to feel everythingâfrom anger and guilt and joyâwithout judgment. We also touch on the societal expectations placed on widows and how yoga can help you break free from those constraints by building self-awareness and resilience.
If youâre finding that grief is affecting your physical health, this episode is full of insights and practical tools to help you reconnect with your body, process your emotions, and move toward healing.
Takeaways:
⢠Yoga and somatic practices offer powerful tools for managing grief by improving physical strength and flexibility while supporting emotional well-being. These practices can help you process loss more holistically.
⢠Listening to your bodyâs wisdomâsuch as noticing physical sensationsâcan enhance self-awareness and emotional resilience. This process, called interoception, helps you understand how grief is manifesting in your body and mind.
⢠Deep, mindful breathing can ease tension in your chest and relieve stress. Slow, intentional breaths can also improve oxygenation and organ function, providing relief from the physical strain of grief.
⢠Embracing all emotionsâfrom sadness to anger and guiltâis vital for healing. Yoga and mindfulness can create a safe space to feel and process these emotions without judgment, helping you navigate the complexities of grief.
⢠Grief affects both your mental and physical health, and addressing both is key to healing. Physical care, like yoga and breathwork, combined with emotional processing, can support a more holistic recovery. Explore Yoga Nidra for deep relaxation and emotional integration.
Guestâs BIO:
Dr Bethany Stroyde is a clinical psychologist and therapeutic yoga teacher, supporting adults in navigating a range of challenges, from attachment wounds to chronic pain. With a special interest in mind-body approaches, she is passionate about helping people to heal on a deeper level from emotional and physical pain, so they can experience greater wellbeing and connection with themselves and others.
Connect with Beth via her website: https://heartmindbodypsychology.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heartmindbodypsychology/profilecard/?igsh=MXFtM3c1YmU2aXBnOA==
Helpful links and resources:
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
My BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook, Instagram, Linked In
I have lost my life partner of 15 years to bowel cancer after a long and gruesome fight for his life. These experiences shaped and changed me forever affecting every aspect of my life personally and professionally. The three most challenging years of my life made me realise that our society has a profound problem with death and shaped my understanding of what life is really about.
I consciously bring both perspectives into my practice; incorporating 15 yearsâ worth of knowledge of how our minds work with a large dose of lived experience of grief and mourning.
I know the pain of loss but I also understand the burden of unaddressed grief.
The unresolved feelings surrounding your late partner can prolong your grief for years, stopping you from truly mourning your loss, affecting your entire life. By making a conscious effort to understand and work through your grief you give yourself permission to live your life again.
Apart from running a private practice, I am also a visiting lecturer at The Institute of Psychiatry in London delivering teaching for trainee clinical psychologists. My research interests involve the effects of profound trauma on grief response and the community-based approach to helping people with grief. I have worked within the NHS as well as private and charitable organisations in the UK since 2011. I have trained at various universities across the UK and Poland and I have completed my doctoral studies at the Canterbury Christ Church University.
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In this episode, Dr. Paula Redmond, a clinical psychologist discusses the therapeutic benefits of knitting during grief.
She explains that knitting involves repetitive, rhythmical movements that can lower blood pressure and induce relaxation. Knitting also provides a sense of accomplishment and progress, which can be especially valuable during times of grief when individuals may feel stuck or helpless. Knitting offers a tactile experience that can anchor individuals in the present moment and provide a distraction from anxious or ruminative thoughts.
Dr. Redmond shares her personal experience of using knitting as a coping mechanism during the sudden loss of her mother, highlighting how it helped her regulate her emotions and create a sense of grounding. She also discusses the potential psychological theories behind the therapeutic benefits of knitting, such as bilateral stimulation and the creation of a safe and soothing environment.
Overall, knitting can be a valuable tool for self-care and processing grief. Knitting can be a therapeutic tool for processing difficult events and past experiences. It allows for the integration of psychological processes and helps create a sense of understanding and connection. Knitting provides a tangible way to see the bigger picture and symbolically bring things together. It can facilitate connection with others and serve as a way to communicate care and love. Knitting also helps in reclaiming oneself and finding continuity in the face of loss and grief.
Guest Bios:
Dr. Paula Redmond is a clinical psychologist who focuses on burnout, work-related trauma, and health professionals' mental health. She hosts a podcast called "When Work Hurts" and runs a company called Creative Restoration that promotes the psychological benefits of knitting.
- Creative Restoration Website: The Self Care One Stitch at a Time course offers a structured approach to using knitting for self-care and well-being. - Connect with Paula on Linkedin - FREE guide to getting started with therapeutic knitting
Helpful links and resources:
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you are stuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support? Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
Your Hostâs BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
I have lost my life partner of 15 years to bowel cancer after a long and gruesome fight for his life. These experiences shaped and changed me forever affecting every aspect of my life personally and professionally. The three most challenging years of my life made me realise that our society has a profound problem with death and shaped my understanding of what life is really about.
I consciously bring both perspectives into my practice; incorporating 15 yearsâ worth of knowledge of how our minds work with a large dose of lived experience of grief and mourning.
I know the pain of loss but I also understand the burden of unaddressed grief.
The unresolved feelings surrounding your late partner can prolong your grief for years, stopping you from truly mourning your loss, affecting your entire life. By making a conscious effort to understand and work through your grief you give yourself permission to live your life again.
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I am back this week with a new episode of the podcast with my dear colleague Dr. Katja Windheim, a clinical psychologist talking about what happens when grief gets complicated and when to seek support.
We are going to help you to think about:
- The difference between normal grief responses and more complex forms of grief.
- Helping you identify signs that your grief might be complicated or stuck
- Talk you through the options for grief support and therapy
- Help you decide when to seek professional help
- Identify barriers to accessing grief therapy
- Explore the healing potential of group therapy
Takeaways
Grief can look different for each individual and is influenced by the type of loss and how it occurred.Symptoms of grief include intense longing, preoccupation with the loss, numbness, guilt, and intense sadness.A healthy response to grief should gradually change over time, allowing for re-engagement with life and a shift in the relationship with the person who was lost.If grief symptoms dominate daily life and impair functioning, professional help may be needed.Therapy for grief can involve creating a supportive space, exploring coping mechanisms, and addressing blocks that may be preventing healing. Grief can trigger other losses or difficult experiences, leading to complicated grief.Therapy can help address underlying issues and provide support in processing grief.Different therapeutic approaches, such as mindfulness, EMDR, and psychodynamic therapy, can be used depending on the individual's needs.Previous losses and traumas can compound the grieving response to a new loss.Seeking therapy or counseling prior to a loss, such as in palliative care, can be beneficial.Finding a qualified and accredited therapist or psychologist is important for safe and effective support.Group therapy can be a powerful and valuable option for healing from complicated grief.Overcoming complicated grief is possible, and therapy can lead to profound life changes and improvements in functioning.Guest Bio:
Dr. Katja Windheim is a clinical psychologist working in private practice in South London. She has extensive NHS experience supporting clients with trauma, emotional difficulties, and grief. Katja has a special interest in EMDR therapy and will soon be launching a new venture: The Money Psychologist, helping people improve their relationship with money.
Connect with Katja on Linked In
Helpful links and resources:
- Take part in the Free Grief MOT to find out if you arestuck in a state of shock or whether your grief is progressing and does not require professional help.
- Book a free 15-consultation with me to discuss the results of your Grief MOT
- Find out about Grief Group Therapy that I offer
- Unsure whether to see a psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor or grief coach for grief support?Read this blog post to find out more.
- Find out more about grief support
Your Hostâs BIO:
Dr Monika Wieliczko, Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA
Psychologist by profession, and a widow, in private.
Connect with me on social media:
Facebook
Instagram
Linked In
I have lost my life partner of 15 years to bowel cancer after a long and gruesome fight for his life. These experiences shaped and changed me forever affecting every aspect of my life personally and professionally. Three most challenging years of my life made me realise that our society has a profound problem with death and shaped my understanding of what life is really about.
I consciously bring both perspectives into my practice; incorporating 15 years worth of knowledge of how our minds work with a large dose of lived experience of grief and mourning.
I know the pain of loss but I also understand the burden of unaddressed grief.
The unresolved feelings surrounding your late partner can prolong your grief for years, stopping you from truly mourning your loss, affecting your entire life. By making a conscious effort to understand and work through your grief you give yourself permission to live your life again.
Apart from running a private practice, I am also a visiting lecturer at The Institute of Psychiatry in London delivering teaching for trainee clinical psychologists. My research interests involve the effects of profound trauma on grief response and the community-based approach to helping people with grief. I have worked within the NHS as well as private and charitable organisations in the UK since 2011. I have trained at various universities across the UK and Poland and I have completed my doctoral studies at the Canterbury Christ Church University.
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đď¸ Episode Summary: In this powerful episode of "A Guide to Afterlife," I sit down with trauma expert Dr. Yvonne Waft to unpack the complex intersection of grief and trauma when losing a life partner. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that will change how you think about loss and resilience.
đ Key Takeaways:
⢠Discover what trauma really means and how it can hijack your grieving process
⢠Learn to spot the signs that your grief might be complicated by unresolved trauma
⢠Uncover practical strategies to regulate your nervous system and support healing
⢠Explore the surprising concept of post-traumatic growth
đĄ Highlights:
Listen to an inspiring story of Dr. Waft's personal journey from surviving traumatic experiences while growing up to becoming a trauma expert
⢠Let's explore cultural differences in grief expression and how they impact healing
⢠Find out why avoiding emotions isn't true resilience
⢠EMDR therapy: A powerful tool for processing traumatic memories
đ Quotes:
"Trauma is any overwhelming or life-threatening event that disturbs our capacity to cope." - Dr. Yvonne Waft
đ¨ Who Needs to Hear This:
⢠Anyone who's lost a partner and feels stuck in their grief
⢠Friends and family supporting someone through a significant loss
⢠Mental health professionals looking to deepen their understanding of grief and trauma
đ Resources Mentioned:
⢠Dr. Yvonne Waft's book: "Coping with Trauma"
⢠EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy
⢠Grief Therapy Group for Widows
đŹ Next Steps:
If you're struggling with grief or suspect unresolved trauma, remember: it's is important to seek professional help. Reach out to a trauma-informed therapist or join a support group. And don't forget to check out Dr. Waft's book for more insights!
đŁ Share Your Thoughts:
We'd love to hear from you! How has this episode changed your understanding of grief and trauma? Share your reflections in the comments or reach out on social media.
đ§ Stay Tuned:
Don't miss our next episode, dropping next Tuesday. Hit subscribe to ensure you never miss a beat in your journey through grief and beyond.
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Join me and Dr. Amber Johnston in a fascinating conversation to discover the intricate workings of the grieving brain. Discover how the your brain functioning is impacted by grief, find out the role of neuroplasticity in emotional processing and adaptation to the new reality of life after loss. Finally, listen in to find out how to hack your brain's overactive alarm systems to help you navigate life after loss.
In this episode you will gain insights into the cognitive and physiological aspects of grief, to help you make sense of the altered state of perception. We talk about how our brain's task is to update the internal map of the world after significant loss and why we encounter such profound difficulties with thinking, processing information, alongside distortions of time and space.
I am hoping that this episode offers you hope and understanding while faced with overwhelming emotions and unpleasant symptoms. Explore the complexities of grief, the brain's response to loss, and the importance of social support as well as physiological regulation of the nervous system in the grief journey.
Dr Amber Johnston is a Clinical Psychologist in Neuropsychology on a mission to re-write some of the old medical narratives to instead prioritise holistic health and well-being. She is a practising clinician specialising in Clinical, Health, Pain Management, and Neuropsychology, combining her knowledge of the brain and psychological principles to offer individualist treatment plans. She work with those suffering from a wide array of challenges, including those with mild stress looking to explore themselves and build healthier emotional tools, to those with more significant clinical diagnoses needing formal, specialised treatment for greater severity of symptoms. She additionally works with individuals who do not meet clear psychological or medical diagnosis, those requiring cognitive assessment or emotional support following a neurological injury or stroke, those with complex chronic medical conditions, and those with medically unexplained symptoms/FND, including health anxiety. As the founder and director of Healthy Mind Psychology, Dr Johnston leads a team of Psychologists to expand her work around the mind/body link and the important message that psychological understanding is important for everybody!
Resources and links to get in touch with Amber:
Instagram- @healthymindpsychologyuk
YouTube- @healthymindpsychology
LinkedIn- Dr Amber Johnston, Clinical Psychologist in Neuropsychology Website: https://www.healthymindpsychology.co.uk
Find free guides and resources to download here https://www.healthymindpsychology.co.uk/resources23/
More resources including your free first-aid Programme for Grief
Follow Dr Monika Wieliczko on Instagram
Follow Dr Monika Wieliczko on Facebook
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In this insightful conversation, Dr. Monika Wieliczko and Dr. Rachel Master explore the challenging journey of solo parenting while grieving the loss of a life partner. They address how grief impacts parenting abilities and the emotional landscape this creates.
The discussion highlights the ever-present pressure to be a "perfect parent" and creates a space to reflect on how to let go of these impossible standards. They delve into the critical topic of self-care, exploring why it's essential and acknowledging the difficulty of prioritising one's needs while caring for children.
They uncover how grief, though painful, can catalyse personal growth and self-discovery. The conversation goes deep into the role of guilt, particularly for solo parents. They examine the roots of these feelings and stress the importance of carving out personal time, even when it seems unattainable. Addressing the struggle of seeking help, they discuss why reaching out can be challenging highlighting the transformative power of building a strong support network.
The discussion also touches on societal expectations, noting how women are often expected to cope independently and how this gets internalised leaving them feeling trapped.
For those seeking community, they offer practical suggestions such as online groups and peer support groups for grieving parents to connect with others who share similar experiences. Lastly, they address the crucial role of processing your grief and its unexpected benefits for grieving children.
Guest Bios: Dr. Rachel Master is a clinical psychologist who specializes in maternal mental health, grief, and trauma. She is currently developing a private practice to offer psychology services tailored to solo parents. Rachel is also a single mom herself and shares openly about her own parenting challenges on her Instagram account
You can connect with Rachel via:
her website: https://www.rachelmaster.co.uk/
or follow her on instagram to find out more about solo parenting and grief: https://www.instagram.com/thesoloparentpsychologist/
Useful resources:
Charity for single parents: Gingerbread https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/
Frollo app for single parent support: https://frolloapp.com/
An important charity that provides support for grieving children and teenagers: https://winstonswish.org/supporting-you/grief-support-young-people/
More resources including your free first-aid Programme for Grief: https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guide_to_afterlife/
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guidetoafterlife
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