Afleveringen
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.
Question 1:
I had a very traumatic childhood, but I don't blame my experiences with my violent alcoholic mother for any of my stupid adult decisions. I did those all on my own -- with some help from my parents' genes, of course. What Dr. Lisle teaches on this topic makes sense to me. I have a friend who, by any measure, had a much less traumatic childhood. In fact, I don't think it is fair to say that her childhood was traumatic at all. There weren't any drugs or alcohol in her childhood home, and, according to her, she didn't experience any physical, verbal or sexual abuse. Her physical needs were all taken care of and, at the time, she says she felt very loved by both her parents. She is no longer close to them. Looking back over her life at the age of 60, she now believes that her emotional needs weren't properly addressed when she was a child. Consequently, she has recently concluded that her problems stem from an attachment disorder caused by her parents. For the first time, she is calling what she experienced "trauma." She is convinced that her parents' lack of attentiveness to her emotional needs qualifies as trauma and are at fault for much of her current depression and rage, as well as for her struggle with weight. My friend is quite disagreeable, whereas I am quite agreeable. Even among people who truly had a traumatic childhood, I have noticed a pattern: Disagreeable people are more likely to want to blame someone for their shortcomings and for their life's decisions, whereas agreeable people don't tend to blame anyone. In this way, it seems that agreeable people may be more readily able to grasp the lessons that Evolutionary Psychology has to offer -- at least in the arena of this important topic of trauma and its role in our lives. What do you think?
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.
Intro 0:00
Question #1: 0:30
I have been with the same man for 13 years (since I was 19) and we have 2 children together. Though we have had our ups and downs and areas of incompatibility I believe our relationship is good, I love our family and want it to continue. However there is a part of me that wishes to fall in love with someone new again and feels regret about committing to someone when I was so young. What I donāt understand is the several times weāve had a relationship crisis it would be him who wanted to leave. At those points the part of me that fantasizes about a new romance completely fades away and all I care about is getting him back again. Why is this?
Dr. Lisle answers: 1:18
Question #2: 35:40
I recently shared a passionate kiss with a married man. I'm worried the village might know. Small town and all. I don't want to be labeled as a bad person. This individual likely has their reasons. I believe they are going on 15+ years of marriage, a few kids, ect. Good looking guy in his mid 40's, business owner. If I get confronted, how do I put my words. To help people understand that men are inherently wife wife chippy and it may be understandable for them to kiss a random girl to feel like they are still valued in the market. I want to clarify I unexpectedly was the recipient of this kiss. But I didn't slap him and walk away. It was nice. I feel guilt over the matter and avoiding seeing anyone that may know. I'll let time ride this out and hopefully not have to deal with conflict. If I do, how would you suggest I handle it?
Dr. Lisle answers: 36:44
Question #3: 46:18
You focus a great deal of attention on mating strategies, mainly geared towards younger people who are making decisions about passing on genes and pairing up with the right person for resource security and safety. But what about people over 55 who are no longer worried about procreating and looking for financial stability? Are they following the same strategies when looking for a mate or companion? What is driving them?
Dr. Lisle answers: 46:45
Outro 1:04:01
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Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.
Question 1: How do I get back to being happy with so much violence and negativity swirling around in the news and in the world? No matter what has been going on in my life, I have always tended to be happy and optimistic, but recently it feels like everything seems pretty bleak in the world and it is bringing me down. I truly don't have any reason to be unhappy- I am part of a magic 10% marriage, I have a good job and great friends and make good money, and truly, want for nothing, but I am fighting feeling sad and anxious about everything going on around me even though I don't watch the news and am not on social media.
Question 2: Dear Dr. Lisle, Iām a 25 year old woman and I am unmotivated, have no career, no passions or purpose in life because my family is extremely rich. I am set to inherit a ton of money (tens of millions of dollars) from my parents, so basically I am set for life if I do absolutely nothing for the rest of my life. I didnāt go to college because I knew I was going to inherit all this money and I didnāt think it was worth it. Now, I literally donāt know what to do with my life. Other people need to work to live. I have more money than they will ever make in their lifetime and I didnāt even do anything to earn it. My parents tell me to do whatever I want because Iāll be rich anyway. Iām embarrassed to date because I have no interesting personality characteristics; I have no career, Iām unmotivated, no passions, no purpose in life. Iām just a spoiled rich girl who inherited daddyās money, whoās going to love me for who I am? How am I going to spend the next 50 years of my life? I feel unmotivated to do anything because Iām already rich but then I feel guilty for having nothing to offer to the world. What should I do?
Intro 0:00
Question #1: 0:55
Dr. Lisle answers: 1:44
A threshold has been reached 41:53
Understand economics 42:10
Question #2: 46:52
Dr. Lisle answers: 47:55
Outro 1:08:40
Follow us:
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Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss staying a virgin until marriage, and what to consider when having second thoughts before marrying.
1. I am a 32 year old female, Catholic and I want to wait until marriage to have sex. Not 10 paid dates, but marriage. However, it seems that nowadays no one is willing to wait. All the religious men I know that are my age are already married or even they didnāt wait. I donāt know what to do. I am still a virgin even at my age and I donāt want to give up my values just because men are used to living in an over sexualized world and want instant gratification. How do I approach this problem?
2. Iām a 45 year old female and about to get married for the first time but have second thoughts. A few years ago I met a man and he is now my fiance and we live together. He is very nice, smart, has a good personality, and is fairly attractive, but I never had intense passionate feelings for him. I never got those "butterflies" I would get whenever I had a crush. I should also note that Iāve never been in a relationship because I never felt ready and have always been busy with other things, and therefore wasted my 20s and 30s from a dating standpoint. My fiance and I get along very well, but a lot of the time it feels more like a comfortable friendship. I would love to have a passionate and meaningful relationship, but I feel that at my age, the good and attractive men have all been taken a long time ago. If I let him go, the older I get, the harder it will be to find someone. However, it also feels that by marrying him, Iām doing both of us a disservice. I also donāt want to be single at this point in my life. Should I go ahead and marry him even if Iām not in love with him?
Intro 0:00
Evolution of politics 1:00
About 10 paid dates comment from last show 7:00
Question #1 about Staying Virgin until Marriage 12:58
Question #2 about having second thoughts in upcoming marriage 35:30
Wrapping up 57:45
Outro 58:31
Follow us:
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Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In Today's show, we discuss a listener's struggle with being attracted to men her own age, and then Dr. Lisle discusses a question about whether 10 paid dates strategy is outdated. To listen to past episodes that discuss 10 paid dates, check out episodes 18, 22, 35, 96, 151, 164, and 284.
Today's questions:
1. Iām a 41 year old female. A combination of good genetics, good diet, exercise, good skincare, staying out of the sun have allowed me to look like Iām in my late 20ās even though I am actually 41. I always looked younger than my age and I have what is called a ābaby face.ā Iām not at all a narcissist, but I would rate myself a 9 even at my age. As a result, I donāt find any of the men my age to be attractive. i have dated men in their 20ās and they were definitely attracted to me, but were turned off when they found out my age, even though I look much younger. My question is, how do I get myself to be attracted to men my age? I find them repulsive.
2. Is the 10 paid dates rule outdated? I spoke to many guys about this and they said that if a girl waited for 10 dates they would assume she is not attracted to them and move on, or that she is just using them to get free meals. They said if they pay they also want something in return. A few have also said that sexual compatibility is a factor in deciding whether they want a relationship with this person, so they wouldnāt enter into a relationship with someone they donāt know they are compatible with. For these reasons do you think that by following the 10 date rule women are missing out on great guys who are misinterpreting their intentions?
Follow us:
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Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
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A visionary physician and author, beloved husband, father, grandfather, brother, mentor and friend, Dr. McDougall died peacefully in his sleep at his home on Saturday, June 22nd, at the age of 77. Dr. McDougall leaves behind a profound legacy and in today's show, Dr. Lisle shares some stories and memories of Dr. McDougall.
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Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In Today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the overlap of Big Five traits in normal human behavior and how to understand the conceptual framework rather than getting bogged down in formulaic thinking. Our next question has to do with anti-anxiety medications and whether they are ever worth taking. Then we wrap things with a question about being in a great marriage to a best friend but whose romance is fading.
1. The big five traits overlap way too much! for ex is someone nice because they are agreeable or because they are extremely conscientious and believe it is the right way to behave or are they just intelligent enough to understand that being nice is an advantageous strategy to get people to cooperate with them? any new developments in the field of personality?
2. Are there any situations or personality types where you believe taking anti-anxiety medications would be a good choice? Versus just seeing a good anxiety therapist like Dr. Laura Bruce who most likely isn't covered by their insurance anyway? For example, I am high in neuroticism, also high in conscientiousness.. but also impulsive.. and I'm currently working a high pressure job to pay off a low interest loan. But the job is stressful (I came into it and discovered they were operating at a -160k deficit, I'm being transparent with the board but we are still operating at a big deficit and might need to close within a year or two).. and my friend keeps telling me to get some anti-anxiety meds. In this case, if I *need* to do something like work a stressful job for a year, should anti-anxiety meds still be off the table? Why or why not?
3. What does a position of power with respect to marriage look like. For me the biggest threat to leaving a marriage is loneliness. Iām not a super out going guy and I fear that growing old without her companionship will be very depressing. My wife is my best friend and the few friends I do have are couple friends we both share. My issue is that the sexual romance side of it is fading. We both have decent paying jobs so financially we could comfortably figure it out if we did decide on splitting. Iām also not worried about the one child we have together we are both on the same page that our job is just to give him a good life experience. The main issue is we are best friends and I understand that is partly because our lives are literally interdependent. Separating may server that bond.
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. Today's topics are about people who seek and only feel relief if they have deep understanding about certain subjects, a parent who appears worn out from an estranged adult child, and a young man unsure about a long-term relationship.
Listener Questions:
Throughout my life, I continue to encounter people who have a deep attachment to understanding. They seem to only feel satisfied, secure or at peace if they understand their object of attention, feel they have a concrete plan of action, or believe that they know all the details there are to know about a situation. Not having these things leaves them anxious, unsteady or even prone to despair. What personality and evolutionary factors are at play here? Most "experts" blame the parents when their adult children estrange from them. Even when there was no abuse, neglect, drugs,etc when they were growng up, and their childhood seemed pretty normal and enriched with activities, family vacations, etc. Is there something else going on? Trying to reconnect or talk may yields a peripheral relationship, meaning once or twice a year a text or phonically for the holiday, yet as older parents, we not only lose closeness with our own children, but our grandchildren grow up unaware of who their grandparents are. The question is, as a parent of two out of three adult children, am I wrong to just be worn out from hoping and trying and wanting to just wish them well now, and move on with my life? It's been so many years they seem like strangers to me anyway. I'm curious to know more about the 'magic 10%' and how that is impacted by personality. For context, I'm a 32 year old male dating a 30 year old female. I'm high in conscientiousness, low in neuroticism, slightly more disagreeable, slightly more open and slightly more introverted. I've had many sexual partner's over the years, mostly by female's approaching me (I feel gross writing this but think it is relevant for context) but was never in the right frame of mind to settle down. Now I am in my 30s and want to start a family. I have started dating a beautiful girl who I have strong feelings for, though I'm unsure if it is love. She is high in neuroticism, and middle of the road in most other traits. She very much loves me and I really enjoy her affection and spending time with her. I'm unsure how much my personality prevents me from feeling the love that she feels as it is evident to me that she loves me more than I love her. We have started talking about the future, kids, house etc and these are things that we both truly want. My line of thinking is simliar to a 'close enough is good enough', although I know that sounds crass. I would like to know this information as I don't want to turn around one day and have ruined this beautiful girl's life/wasted her time as these are very important years for her in particular.Follow us:
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Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD, discuss the following listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.
1. What do you make of the common description that narcissistic/highly disagreeable people āwear a mask.ā Do high disagreeables go around actively and purposefully fooling people about their true feelings and intentions any more than other people do? We all try to put on a good face for the most part, but is this actually more true for certain personalities types?
2. I discovered your podcast a while ago, and I've been fascinated. However, something sat not quite well with me, and that is that I couldn't integrate my experience of trauma within your framework. I've been raised by Narcissistic people, and ever since then, I found myself regularly in Close relationships with various narcissistic people. As far as I understand you, this is purely because those can be attractive people and has nothing to do with my upbringing. And I think it does; I think that simply my cost benefit analysis has been skewed that way: that I would consider my parents being worth my while and to avoid cognitive dissonance, I would also accept bad treatment from other people. Or is Cognitive dissonance not a thing in evolutionary psychology? I'd be glad if you could comment on that.
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses a listener question with host, Nathan Gershfeld.
In episode 328 dr lisle answered a questioner who was frustrated about their lower income relative to friends. One aspect of that question was that life isnāt always about making money or climbing dominance hierarchies. In fact the very same instincts to keep pursing more can lead you to being unhappy. How then does one navigate when to pursue more and when to beat the genes? Are there any rough approximations for gauging this?
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus - Licensed for use
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss twin studies, behavioral genetics, and the logic of evolutionary psychology with host, Nathan Gershfeld
Paper mentioned : https://tinyurl.com/j3c7tbt7
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus - Licensed for use
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discuss the following listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld
1. Iām a 29 year old economics major and Iām frustrated because I see friends who have gone into investment banking, big law or medicine on track to make 5-10x my yearly salary. Iām making a decent living on 60k a year but I feel like an idiot for choosing my major and now it feels too late to change. What would you have to say for someone in my position? It feels like I squandered an opportunity. I know life is not just about making money but itās a hard thing to ignore.
2. My daughter is a good student and athlete, but she has low self-esteem. How can I help her increase her confidence?
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld
Today's question:
Is psychology doomed to remain a pseudoscience based on the crowd of people who self select to go into psychology? Im a university student and it from what i can tell, the vast majority of my peers and lecturers have no interest questions like why are we this way, how did we get here? Could it have happened any other way? Instead they are mainly just interested in having self serving theory that make them feel comfortable. With one of my lecturers, i was having a conversation about Norway's adoption studies showing that adopted children had their income, criminality and income correlated with their biological parents and not their adoptive parents. My lecturer said to me āi wouldnāt want to live in a world where genes are all that matterā. It feels to me that the major obstacle to psychology is the 90% of psychologists who think this way, and that no matter how solid the arguments from the other side will be, they will just keep thinking what makes them comfortable and call it a āscientific consensusā.
Follow us:
YT: @beatyourgenes
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Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Jen Howk, PhD www.jenhowk.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD & social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss the following situation with host, Nathan Gershfeld:
I cheated on my husband three years ago while traveling for work. It was a one-night stand and we didn't exchange numbers or keep in contact. I don't even know his last name. Until last month, I've never told anyone about this event. At the time I cheated, I didn't really care because my marriage was rocky and I felt unappreciated. But my huusband and I reconnected during quarantine and I started to feel extremely guilty. Last month, I thought I would try going to confession with my parish priest. He said I need to tell my husband as part of my penance. I wasn't really sure how to do that, so I've sat on it. Last weekend, I came home to my husband throwing all of my stuff out of the bedroom and trying to kick me out of the hoouse. He knows everything. Apparently, the priest followed up to see if I'd told my husband, and when my husband said he didn't understand what the priest was talking about, he told my husband about the affair. My whole world is exploding because I thought confession was supposed to be private. Does the priest have any kind of liability or responsibility? What can I do?
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld:
1. Help! My son just turned 8. He has acquired part of his personality from my mother- he can be loud and will overreact or get really angry about things. This includes being told he needs to stop an activity because we are leaving the house, etc. I am trying to help him manage these outbursts because kids are starting to make fun of him at school for them. Do you have any specific strategies that would help or should I focus more on his diet and sleep? He is normally a sweet boy and these outbursts have improved with age but I feel he needs more support.
2. Is there anything that is the opposite of the ego trap when you have been repeatedly told negative things like that you are worthless and will never amount to anything? If the ego trap is demotivating, is hearing the opposite motivating? If so, can't it also be extremely demotivating as well, especially if your mind is doing a CB analysis of the possibility of success and whether the energy output is worth it, but the people around you are saying that you won't succeed?
3. I have an aunt who is so solipsistic, doesn't enquire about anyone else and is disagreeable. Sitting across the table from her, it's difficult to understand how someone can be so blind to the life of others and narcissistic. She's was divorced by 2 prior husbands. Is disagreeable behavior like this related to the "theory of mind" module and if so can you describe the various demarks on the "theory of mind" bell curve?
Follow us:
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@Beatyourgenespodcast
Web: www.beatyourgenes.org
Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Jen Howk, PhD www.jenhowk.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses the following listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld:
1. I'm trying to decide whether to go back to work a year after my second child, or to stay home with her till preschool. I have heard you say on your podcast 'it doesn't matter who raises your kids' which I understand to be a reference to twin studies that show that parents have very little influence on how their children turn out (outcomes are about 80% genetic). How do you square this with attachment theory, and psychologists who say that children need one primary caregiver for the first three years or they will be beset with anxiety and depression in their teen years. I am thinking of the book 'being there' by Erica Komisar in which she advocates very strongly for being a stay at home mother for the mental health of your children. I would like to have a third child, but being out of the workplace for 6 years would dent our finances and possibly my self esteem.
2. Dear doctors, I grew up in a Christian home but stopped going to church once I left home. All of my immediate family are still very religious and my parents financially support someone who was my best friend in high school, who has become a missionary. I find that dynamic very unfair and recently told both parties that I feel boundaries have been crossed. My friend asked my parents to stop supporting her but they refused. I feel betrayed by my parents. How do you advise I deal with the relationship moving forward? Iāve already ended my friendship but wish I could be emotionally closer to my parents.
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D.
Podcast website: http://www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : http://www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus. Licensed for use.
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss the following listener questions:
1. Can all personality types be equally happy if they apply diligent effort to worthwhile goals? ie all other things being equal, would a low conscientiousness individual be as happy as a high conscientiousness individual if they both applied their version of diligent effort and equally felt they hadn't left 'anything on the table' (despite those levels of effort and results being very different)
2. You have previously characterized men as "pair bonders or not." How has on-line dating changed the CB here for both sexes?
3. I am 51, happily married for 2 decades and have 1 child. We recently had a huge fight regarding whether we have a responsibility to help others. We have a friend who had a messy, complicated divorce and is struggling financially while still fighting her ex in court over child custody and business matters. He is a lying, unpredictable scam artist . As much as I feel sorry for our friend, I would like to keep a distance from this situation. Last time we saw her my husband offered to pay for a lawyer, and an accountant. While we live comfortably, we do not have the money this woman would need to become unentangled. When we got home I started yelling that my husband should not have made this offer because we really cannot afford it and I don't want her criminal ex husband knowing that we are helping her. While my cavewoman instinct was to protect my financial stability, I found it more effective to (over)emphasize the physical threat this could have on me since my husband travels a lot and her ex knows where we live. The fight escalated as my husband accused me of being selfish, uncharitable, and unwilling to help. I said that my time and energy go into taking care of my home and our family. We have already given this friend money and our time over the years. From an Evo-psych point of view, I understand that I feel a threat to my resources (financially and emotionally) as well as safety. My husband does not see this situation at all like I do. Shouldn't a cave-man have the instinct to primarily care for his family (only) and not spread their resources to another man's family?? Sidenote: while my son likes her kids, I would like to avoid any possible bad influence as one is already dabbling with marijuana. So, threat to offspring is another concern... Please offer any insight you have.
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: www.BeatYourGenes.org
Watch this episode on Youtube! @BeatYourGenes
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss the following listener questions:
1. I have a friend who is very active in fighting for workers' rights. In fact he has a high level job in one of my country's major trade unions. He often organises protests, and is always the first person on the frontline with the megaphone. On a personal level, he is quite overweight, and I know for a fact does not help out much at home with housework and childcare. I used to think that social activists and social justice warriors were high conscientious types. But now I'm wondering if it is actually a mixture of disagreeableness and extraversion. Are people like Rosa Parks and Greta Thunberg, who we hold up as icons, conscientious or disagreeable, or a mixture of both?
2. I am a woman in my 30s and I struggle with severe social anxiety and it seems like no matter what I do I can't get better. I'm terrified of wasting any more of my life due to my fears and avoidance behaviors. It's even difficult for me to hold down a job long term because of how hard it is for me to perform in front of others all day. My love life is nonexistent and I don't know how to make friends. What is social anxiety exactly? Is it that I've been stuck in the ego trap for years because I fear status loss? How can I overcome this? I tell myself I have no status to lose but it doesn't help. I get so anxious at times I even dissociate. Counselors just tell me to push through it. Doctors just try to put me on medications. I am tired of being crippled with fear every day and watching my days pass me by. I know the life I want isn't going to come to me while I'm hiding at home. I want to have a life that is meaningful to me but I don't know what to do.
3. I've been with my husband for 5 years. When I am with him I feel so in love, we have lots of good sex, we talk about the future. To me, he's gorgeous. He can't believe how much I enjoy his natural scent. But something happens when he isn't around. I start doubting everything about our relationship, thinking it's going nowhere, that I married the wrong person. Some of my thoughts are we're broke, he's 15 years older than me, I settled down too soon. It feels like I hate him and that he robbed me of my future. Why is this happening? I can't understand how I can feel so in love and then feel so ambivalent.
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD and social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD discuss the following listener question:
Why do people love formulaic media and entertainment? Most of the pop music that dominates the charts is nearly identical. It uses the same four chords in the same progression with similar melodies and lyrical themes. Most of the blockbuster films that gross massive amounts of money tell variations on the same story with similar effects, music, and actors. This seems even more pronounced in the era when massive franchises like Marvel and Star Wars reboot and re-hash the same stories/characters over and overā¦ and over. Even content on TikTok or instagram tends to be made from a formulaā the influencers tend to look the same, use the same music, and say/do the same things. Whether in music, film, TV, or social media, we seem to be stuck in a rut where very little āoriginalā art rises to the surface. I know there is a pleasure trap aspect to this, but I am curious why the majority of our human brains find this type of content so appealing to begin with. Why do we seem to get so much enjoyment from reliving the same experiences? Why do we find these particular types of media so fascinating?
Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Host: Nathan Gershfeld
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus
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Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD, social scientist, Jen Howk, PhD, and Nathan Gershfeld, DC discuss the following listener questions:
I am curious about the work of David Sinclair from Harvard about his anti-aging research. He makes some pretty fantastic claims. He does, for example, advocate for a plant-based diet, but then talks quite a bit about supplements, including prescription drugs like Metformin. I also heard him say that although plant-based diets are good, we must avoid foods that spike blood sugars - like rice and grapes. Aren't those whole foods? Grapes, really? What do they think of Dr. Sinclair's work...work considering or majoring in minor things? Iām on the highest end of a healthy weight range even on a whole natural foods diet composed of fruits vegetables whole grains and legumes, with at most 1 avocado per week and 1 tsp of flaxseed per day. No nuts or seeds. Iāve lost weight before by restricting and over exercising, but I couldnāt maintain it. However I felt much more confident at this lower weight (about 10-15 lbs thinner than I am now). As women thereās a lot of pressure to be thin. How do I get over my desire to be thin? Is this something I can ever get over? I think about it every day and am tired of thinking about this. Is the thicker persons' metabolism or spontaneous recovery different from the genetically skinny person? i.e. if your genetics figured out your survival success by having you eat more, weigh more and get more resources, won't your body be genetically predisposed to continue those successful survival instincts that helped in your survival before? Iām having difficulty distinguishing the difference between eating intermediately to grit myself through the extinction curve of a condition cram circuit and eating under the hunger drive. How do I know if Iām eating intermediately or eating under the hunger drive when I got through this process ? Is there like a rule of thumb you would suggest we follow e.g 1 plate of food then nothing for a couple of hours??Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast
Host: Nathan Gershfeld, DC
Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.
Podcast website: www.BeatYourGenes.org
True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us
Fasting Supervision: www.FastingEscape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones Ā· Ferenc Hegedus
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