Afleveringen
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In today's episode -- our last before 2025 -- Michael Flores, LPC-S and Dr. Jacobie Robinson, LPC-S discuss the top five reasons our office hears people get divorced. What is the final breaking point? They identify them in the episode today!
(3:45) The 5 most common reasons we hear from clients why their marriages end.
(4:45) Sex and the reasons it can lead to divorce.
(9:30) Why talking about the issue and reflecting will help in the future.
(13:05) Money and how it can be mismanaged, a tool for manipulation, and the focus of a relationship.
(19:35) Family and how outside influences can impact relationships.
(26:20) Kinds and how their relationships with their parents can be used and can play out after divorce.
(30:00) Substance abuse and client concerns.
(34:45) Mental health and the common complaints we hear about spouses.
(37:30) Why it's important to notice what we focus on.
(40:15) Recap of topics
(41:30) Listener Question Answered: "How do you know it is when the right time to introduce a significant other into your kids life after divorce?"
Thank you for being here! Please be sure to like and subscribe to this podcast so you're up to date when we return in January 2025!
Happy Holidays! -
Do you feel like you're always rescuing your co-parent and/or child? Are you the person who can be counted on for fixing things and saving the day? If so, this episode is for you! Michael Flores, LPC-S and Armando Martinez, LPC discuss what to do if you feel like you're always rescuing someone and how that impacts you and others.
In this episode, we discuss:
(3:00) Listener Question - What do you do when it feels like your ex is trying to control everything?
(6:45) Steps to take when it feels like your ex is trying to control
(8:30) We review the rescuing side of the drama triangle (from Episode 11).
(15:30) What you should learn to do when you feel like you're always rescuing your co-parent and how comparisons and "fair" can get in the way.
(21:00) The important things to focus on - what you can control and your child(ren)
(26:45) Why always rescuing your child can be harmful for their growth and natural relationship with their other parent
(30:10) Why it's important to have a supportive attitude in front of your child.
(33:00) Releasing control and letting your co-parent choose their own relationship with your child
(34:45) Recap of this episode's takeaways
Please subscribe to this podcast! Leave us a review on your favorite platform. -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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This episode has too many amazing time stamps to summarize here! Michael Flores, LPC-S and Jinohn Temple, LMFT explore the difference between justice and resolution. They discuss the common signs they see in their clients and how they can tell whether their client is after justice or resolution with their ex-partner.
They discuss whether justice can be resolution. They'll answer and discuss things like what are people seeking justice after? How does it help them move forward... or does it? Who really suffers through divorce when someone is constantly after justice? And, if you want justice, who can actually help you achieve that?
Michael and Jinohn discuss the importance of mindset and how you view the problem(s) you face with your ex-partner will impact whether solutions are achieved. They share how validation can help come to an agreement and what validation DOESN'T mean.
Don't miss this episode! If you are struggling to find resolution now or sometime down the road, save this episode to ensure you stay on the right track towards solutions.
Be sure to rate and review this podcast! If you haven't yet subscribed, please take a moment to subscribe today.
If you'd like to ask us a question to answer on an upcoming podcast, leave your question here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BLGGDS6 -
The holidays are here! While it's typically seen as a time of happiness, it can be difficult for many families who share their children. In today's episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S and Jennifer Blake, LCSW-S discuss ways to keep the season joyful when sharing children between homes. They will discuss when sharing, and even allowing the children to be away on your time might be needed. Jen shares how setting clear expectations, being willing to cooperate and collaborate is helpful. Finally, we learn why putting the kids first and remembering it's about them -- not your ex, can help keep things in the right frame of mind. Communication is key! And try to be how you would like your co-parent to be. We wish you and your families a happy holiday season!
If you'd like us to answer a question on an upcoming episode, leave your questions here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BLGGDS6
It would be the best gift to us if you'd take a second to rate and review this podcast! We are so thankful you are here! -
We are excited to welcome our first guest on the Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change podcast, Jorge Gama, LPC-S! Together, Michael Flores, LPC-S and Jorge Gama discuss how you know when you are ready to date or begin a new relationship after divorce. They go through some important do's and don'ts when embarking on the dating journey again. Jorge shares how to be a healthy person for your next relationship. Building trust again may feel scary. They will give guidance on some traits that will allow you to be open to a new relationship with intentional boundaries. Lastly, Jorge shares ground rules for introducing a new partner to your children and how to set some important ground rules to ensure everyone is comfortable with the transitions.
Don't miss this episode! Whether you're getting ready to start dating again or have already began, you'll hear valuable information you can consider right away!
You can find Jorge at www.mendingclinic.com and on Facebook at Mending Clinic or Instagram @mendingclinic.
If you'd like to submit a question to answer on an upcoming podcast episode, submit your question here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BLGGDS6
Be sure to rate and review this podcast! It helps us get in front of more families just like yours! Thank you for being here! -
In this episode Michael Flores, LPC-S and Armando Martinez LPC examine the steps to take to move towards healing through and after divorce. They discuss the importance of acknowledging your hurt and stress and how important vulnerability is in the process. These things are hard. But they are worth the time and effort to get to the other side. Together they point out the importance of monitoring your emotions to better understand what those feelings might be telling you. Armando brings up triggers and how they can align with values to be another arrow pointing towards something you need to focus on. All these things, when examined can move you to healing. Healing and forgiveness are worth the time and effort. Be willing to do the hard work. We are rooting for you.
Would you like to ask us a question we can answer on an upcoming episode? Leave your questions for us here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BLGGDS6
You can find us at www.brighterpossibilitiesfc.com. We are on Facebook at Brighter Possibilities Family Counseling and on Instagram @brighterpossibilitiesfc.
We'd love to hear from you! Please rate this podcast on whatever podcast platform you're listening on! -
We're digging deep today on the dangers of inflexibility. Are you inflexible or perhaps your co-parent is? Where does inflexibility come from? In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S and Dr. Jacobie Robinson, LPC-S share an insightful journey through inflexibility. They show us how inflexibility often stems from resentment and how it can turn into a desire to punish the other person. Dr. Robinson reminds us to monitor our values and how they play a role on how you feel about situations. You will learn that a person who desires a high level of control likely also has a high level of fear. Whether you tend to be inflexible or your co-parent does, you will have new insight behind their choices that enable you to better collaborate with them.
Would you like to submit a question for us to answer on an upcoming podcast episode? Submit one here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BLGGDS6
We're so thankful for you tuning in today! If you've listened to multiple episodes, thank you so much! Would you please rate and leave a review of our podcast? It helps us get these episodes in front of more listeners like you. We look forward to meeting you here again next week! -
In this insightful episode, we dive into a common challenge faced by divorced parents: how to handle it if your child is told conflicting messages from the other parent. This episode breaks down the issue of conflicting messages, something Michael Flores, LPC-S and Jinohn Marr, LMFT commonly see in cases of parental conflict. Michael and Jinohn give examples of common "true lies" such as child support issues, visitation schedules, court testimonies, and more. They discuss how therapists can help children navigate “truth” versus “lies,” and offers advice to parents on responding effectively when their child brings up untrue or confusing information about them. They share the importance of understanding your beliefs and how your beliefs drive your truth. This episode is packed until the end!
If you'd like to submit a question for us to answer on an upcoming episode, please submit your question here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BLGGDS6
Thank you for being here! Please rate and subscribe to this podcast so we can reach more listeners just like you! -
In this episode, we dive deep into the "Drama Triangle," a psychological model that plays out in many relationships -- and we often see it in divorce dynamics. Michael Flores, LPC-S and Jennifer Blake, LCSW-S explain the three roles within the triangle: the persecutor, the rescuer, and the victim. Each role serves a specific purpose in the dysfunctional interaction between individuals, especially during the emotionally charged time of divorce. You will learn how the persecutor can escalate verbal attacks in a divorce and the psychological damage it causes.
They will discuss the dangers of rescuing behaviors, especially toward children, and how it stifles their independence. You will see how all three roles of the Drama Triangle can happen in a flash, keeping children caught in emotional manipulation and confusion.
Share this episode with someone! And be sure to rate and review our podcast!
You can still register for the Bonus Parent Essentials Class at www.brighterpossibilitiesfc.com/classes -
As families are going through divorce each person is dealing with their own emotions. In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S dives into the 3 things kids need from their parents as the family transitions to a new normal. Children are resilient but changes do matter to them. Michael shares what he calls the 3 pillars kids want and need. He discusses the importance of consistency with children, especially through divorce. Michael points out why spending time and showing interest in your children's interests are important. Finally, Michael reminds us why kindness and civility with your coparent are important for your children.
If you're not following us on Facebook find us at Brighter Possibilities Family Counseling. We are on Instagram @brighterpossibilitiesfc.
If you are a stepparent or love a stepparent, go to our website to register for the Bonus Parent Essentials Class at www.brighterpossibilitiesfc.com/classes
Subscribe and rate this podcast! -
We all know a stepparent. The statistics are staggering on how many become a stepparent each year. But stepparents face unique challenges and those challenges are not discussed enough.
In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S and Armando Martinez, LPC share common problems stepparents face and the stereotypes they are up against in their role. They point out the distinct factors that make either a stepparent or a bonus parent. There is a difference! Armando points out the importance of stepparents remembering their role can constantly change. He shares what that means and what it looks like so you can identify when your role might be evolving. Finally, they share tips on how to make the stepparent role easier and more effective for that bonus parent and the family unit.
To register for the Bonus Parent Essentials class, go to www.brighterpossibilitiesfc.com/classes. You can choose the in-person or virtual option based on your location.
And don't forget to rate and subscribe to this podcast! We are so grateful for your reviews and feedback. -
We all often play roles in our lives. When going through divorce, we can fall into the belief that one of us is the hero and the other is the villain. In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S and Armando Martinez, LPC will discuss the mindset of a hero and villain. Literature, film, and stories that have stood the test of time have given us all common beliefs on what characteristics a hero and villain hold. Michael and Armando discuss if these beliefs set the stage for how we trust and interact with our coparent. Do they create a problem? They will discuss the importance of empathy and understanding. In the end they will share how healing is within us all, no matter what we've been through.
Please be sure to rate and review this podcast! Your input means so much to us and helps this information get in front of more eyes and ears.
You can follow us Instagram @brighterpossibilitiesfc and on Facebook at Brighter Possibilities Family Counseling for more tips and information everyday!
Keep moving forward! -
Kids go through different developmental stages throughout their adolescent years. Understanding what stage your child is will enable you to better understand what they need through this life transition.
In this episode Michael Flores, LPC-S and Jinohn Marr, LMFT discuss the developmental stages of kids 5-11. They will share tips on how to best tell them about the divorce to supporting them throughout the process. They discuss how children having too much information often puts them in the middle and leads them to play one of the roles kids can play in divorce. (See Episode 2 "The Roles Children Play in Divorce" for more information on that topic!)
Michael and Jinohn share guidance on how to handle it when the other parent is talking poorly about you to your child. They share how setting the precedent in your home sends a message to your child of respect and love.
Jinohn shares an applicable tip on how to teach younger children about different perspectives. Hint: You'll see the story of "The Three Little Pigs" in a whole new way!
You are sure to take at least one piece of information away from this episode that you can use today!
Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast! Be sure to also follow us on Facebook (@Brighter Possibilities Family Counseling) and Instagram (@brighterpossibilitiesfc) for more helpful information each day!
And, Keep Moving Forward. -
This episode is PACKED with information and includes a step-by-step process on how to have a productive and collaborative conversation with your coparent. In this episode Michael Flores, LPC-S and Dr. Jacobie Robinson, Ph.D, LPC-S dive deep into the steps of conversation, especially when you are communicating with someone who may typically be difficult or uncollaborative.
They discuss the importance of monitoring yourself and your emotions, the difference between responding and reacting, and Michael shares his proven method for a written collaborative conversation starter.
You will hear how answering with "Yes, if..." can be impactful and the 4 steps for starting a conversation:
1. Express gratitude
2. Value statement
3. State where you agree
4. "No" oriented questions
Get ready and don't be afraid to listen twice! Enjoy! -
Please be advised this episode discusses sexual relationships and is intended for a mature listening audience.
Are you divorced or going through a divorce and finding yourself still engaging in a sexual relationship with your ex-partner? We hear about this often in our offices. But why does it happen? How is it impacting your divorce process? Should it stop? Michael Flores, LPC-S and Dr. Jacobie Robinson, LPC-S, explore these questions and discuss the benefit of healthy boundaries.
Listen as they encourage you to make the decisions that will enable you to keep moving your life forward.
Be sure you subscribe to this podcast to automatically receive the newest episodes.
Follow us on Instagram @brighterpossibilitiesfc and on Facebook at Brighter Possibilities Family Counseling.
Thank you for being here! -
Have you ever wondered if seeking out therapy for you or your children is important while going through a divorce? Michael Flores, LPC-S and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, discuss how therapy is helpful and best utilized for a family going through a divorce. They share the difference between court-ordered therapy and individuals voluntarily looking for counseling services. They share tips on the best way to approach therapy for you and your children and how important honesty is in the therapeutic process. Jinohn will also remind you how important it is to give yourself grace through this chapter in your life. We are here for you as we encourage you to keep moving forward.
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In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S and Jennifer Blake, LCSW-S, discuss when we develop the idea of fair versus unfair. They share that they often hear in sessions with children that the children deeply want their parents to agree, allowing the family to move forward. They discuss why bringing hurt feelings into a conversation can impact the conversation and how sometimes people confuse agreeing with them as hearing them. They will share the 3 C's of good conversation: clear, collaborative, and courteous. As well as the 3 killer C's that will hurt conversations: condemning, complaining, and criticizing.
Equip yourself with the knowledge to have improved conversations! Thank you for being here! -
Michael Flores, LPC-S & Armando Martinez, LPC discuss the 3 roles children play in divorce. You'll learn what each role looks like and how it plays out in your child's behavior. They'll discuss the underlying desire each child has and why they step into these roles. You will learn the importance of scheduling mandatory fun with your children. Most importantly, we hope this episode helps you understand your child just a little bit better and be able to come from a place of understanding when you witness certain behaviors. Thanks for being here!
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We're so glad you're here! In this episode we will introduce ourselves and share our hopes for the episodes of this podcast. We are licensed counselors who help our clients with various challenges. We specialize in family dynamics and families in divorce. Each counselor in the practice has a unique expertise in the area of divorce and the clients they serve. We hope you find something here that helps you move forward in your journey.
