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(I'll be taking a brief break in January – see you next year!)
There's a unique flavor to British romcoms and especially British romantic holiday movies: a dash of vinegar mixed in with the sugar and spice, a grounding bite to the proceedings, a bittersweet gentle melancholy, an undercurrent that keeps it real and earns the emotion in every tiny moment and line. These movies hit just the right spot for me this year, reminding me that I'm not alone if I can bravely reach out, where there are valuable and heart-affirming connections everywhere you look.
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"This movie is in love with that new car feeling of a new relationship." You say that like it's a bad thing. Relationship therapist ranks Love Actually romances.
"I like you very much, just as you are." Romcoms — and the patriarchy — need more moments like this.
"You'll go somewhere new and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again." Best scene in the whole movie.
Oh and this one. "I've got a life to start living — and you're not going to be in it!" The patriarchy needs a whole bunch more of these moments, too.
"Last Christmas/I gave you my heart.." Just being a human IS hard, so yes, let's do something nice for someone. You're made of everything you do.
It might not be something but it could be everything. Oh this quiet, gorgeous movie.
My favorite characters are the twin girls Sam and Charlie, and the turkeys. Oh boy am I kidding: everybody is my favorite character in this amazing animated movie.Support the show
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The world can be harsh place, but the grace of love — familial, chosen family, platonic and especially intimate and romantic love — always helps you through. It's a gift that keeps on giving and keeps you going, so let's be grateful for wherever and whenever we are graced with it. The best holiday movies and romcoms remind us that cultivating and growing relationships is never easy, but always worth it in the end.
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My favorite holiday movies and romcoms are the ones with stories so good that you can enjoy them all throughout the year. I love the characters and plot of The Family Stone so much, I gushed over it in my first Christmas episode.
The Bishop's Wife is another magical holiday movie that I could happily watch at least once a month. You can watch the full movie here.
Please Rewind has a fantastic analysis of one of my favorite Woody Allen movies, which begins and ends at Thanksgiving.
The Dan in Real Life trailer is — predictably — terrible. Here's one of my favorite scenes in the movie. Some amazing fan posted the DVD extras and bloopers and we are grateful.Support the show
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Who doesn't love a romantic meet cute? Who doesn't love a double meet cute, a story about fate, searching for the one — when the real one is right under your nose? Add a great script, good banter, two lead characters to root for from the first minute, a great supporting cast and some funny shenanigans while chasing a spare ticket to a sold out Pentatonix Christmas Eve concert: this sexy warm-hearted holiday romcom is just the cheer we need this year.
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Dang, another trailer that fails to capture the tone of the movie. At least you see how cute everybody is.
He's going to melt your heart! And other body parts. I think Lauren Holly's facial expressions sum it up for all of us.
This Pentatonix mashup of Pure Imagination and Christmas Time Is Here adds that slight melancholy to the holiday that's needed this year.
A round up of some of the best holiday movies streaming on Netflix this year.
And start your holidays here.Support the show
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It's the season: bring on the witchy energy. These movies could be called dark romcoms, because they center romantic love in their plots, and they're often funny, but it's a corrupted or disappointing love, with witches as the main characters scrambling to find their power and the right sorcery for success, illegal illicit or otherwise. On the way to making us laugh or cry, these movies explore some fairly serious themes around domestic violence, sexual consent, cultural conditioning, emotional abuse and how the patriarchy often strives to minimize and control women's innate power. You will definitely laugh, too.
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I guess horror comedy works too. Sex magik creates love magic, sex magik creates…
Oh geez: another weird retro trailer. Even Variety agrees with me. Fortunately they have another chance to get it right, because Practical Magic 2 is now officially in the works.
Bell, Book and Candle, the full movie on YouTube.
The only witchy polycule that I know of.
The anatomy of a spell.
Witch history and self-help.Support the show
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It took me a long time to check out this sport romance, but to say I was knocked over by this inventive, dramatic, erotic story is an understatement. It's about a threesome, a love triangle, sport prodigies, early promise, the pursuit of excellence, the thrill and disappointments of growing up, playing the game of life and love, sex as the game and the game being mostly about sex. How to explain? You just need to experience it.
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"This is a game about winning the points that matter." Does any trailer ever get it right? This is not the movie I saw. Pop some popcorn, snuggle in and watch this movie.
The final match took eight months to produce. "He wanted the action to mirror the characters’ complicated and sweaty dynamic — for viewers to feel like they were inside the competition, which is as much metaphor as sport." How they served the tennis scenes in Challengers.
Interesting brief interview with Challengers screenwriter Justin Kuritzkes.A guide to the films of Luca Guadagnino.
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Mismatched family cultures, personal values and beliefs: most romantic couples can relate. The sexy atheist and the hot rabbi at the center of this funny and often deep and touching fish out of water romcom dodge devastating zingers, doubtful friends, meddling families, sarcastic siblings, and a culture that just doesn't want one of them, but their sparkling chemistry and faith in each other always manages to get them through.
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Is there a world where this works? There better be, because I'm hanging on for season two.
Finally. This evenhanded review has a very interesting perspective.
" I think we need positive Jewish stories right now. I think it’s interesting when people focus on, “Oh, this is a stereotype of Jewish people,” when you have a rabbi as the lead. A hot, cool, young rabbi who smokes weed. That’s the antithesis of how people view a Jewish rabbi, right?" Erin Foster talks about her own conversion and creating the series.Support the show
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(I'm taking a little break over the next few weeks because my sweetie is coming to visit! See you in October).
This month, I'm celebrating the fourth anniversary of my podcast! After more than 100 episodes, I had sunk into a tiny romance slump — then I discovered these romcom parodies, poking gentle but hilarious fun at romance tropes (do grown women always trip and fall in romcoms?!) Not only are they clever and perfectly written parodies, they're also enjoyable if predictable (heh) romcoms, too. Sometimes celebrating while giggling at beloved romance conventions and clichés is just the thing you need to reinvigorate your love for an entire genre.
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It's just like a corny movie! Only it's real life! Wholesome yet subversive. Oh these two.
You're quite beguiling — did you know that? When Liam Hemsworth tells you this in your alternate universe romcom life, you must believe.
The 10 best romcoms set in New York City
(See what I mean about these round ups?! I think I've seen most of these movies, but not all of them.)Support the show
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I've been feeling a bit under the weather, while also preparing for my sweetie's upcoming visit (a much longer visit this time), and my heart's full of romance and thoughts about when we first fell in love. So it's the perfect time to replay my episode about Cyrano, Joe Wright's lush romantic musical version of the classic Cyrano de Bergerac story. Every gorgeous musical phrase and motif by Aaron and Bryce Dessner of The National, and lyric by The National lead singer Matt Berninger and his partner, Carin Besser, embodies the yearning thrill and desperate longing of falling deeply in love with someone. A couple of years on, I still cry when I hear this score and watch Peter Dinklage's face express the pain and exhilaration of romantic love.
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Director Joe Wright on why Cyrano is his most personal film since Atonement.
I'm incapable of hearing this song and these lyrics without bursting into tears. One of my favorite songs in the entire movie.Support the show
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Being single — whether it's a temporary identity or permanent — is valid life choice, but it doesn't often feel that way in our society. Living a romantic life can mean being part of a couple, and also includes being unpartnered, child free, parenting a pet, and falling in love with yourself. Some brave real life artists and fictional characters of the 19th and early 20th century managed to create this type of life, and while you shouldn't need to be a courageous soul to pull it off, these romantic stories and movies about their lives are encouragement to live our lives out loud.
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Movies/Shows
The pace of this movie is glacial at first and the frames and acting very mannered, but you quickly fall in love with Cynthia Nixon as Emily Dickinson in A Quiet Passion.
The Brontë sisters Confidential! Tarnish and all.
This is a very corny trailer from way back in the early 90s but it really sums up the Edith Wharton story well.
My Cousin Rachel is all sorts of suspenseful and intense and Rachel Weisz is utterly compelling in her role as an independent widow trying to find her way in 19th century England.
A Quiet Passion and the real Emily Dickinson
Wild nights — Wild nights! Emily Dickinson's love life
Of course if you're lucky you can visit the Brontë parsonage in Haworth.
What Edith Wharton taught me about marriageSupport the show
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The 4th anniversary of the show is coming up, and I have learned so much about myself and my desires while making this podcast. I appreciate every listener, and also feel so grateful for the journey I've been on, taking a closer look at some of the best romances in books and on screen. So I'm replaying an episode from my 2nd anniversary that celebrates connection and sexual desires, and creating space for them. Even if it's a tiny corner of your heart, finding room for pleasure and passions is some of the most important interior decorating you'll ever do.
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I'm child free but Anne Hathaway, Brooke Shields and Nicole Kidman are the hottest of hot mamas in these romcoms, and make motherhood look like living your best life on steroids. It's a difficult enough job without worrying if you qualify for the MILF label like these ladies do, and sure, they're guilty of mothering while sexy and gorgeous. But these actresses of a certain age playing mothers of a certain age taking a chance on hot lovers and age-gap romance also act out the real challenges of showing up for yourself, your desires and those you love, at any age.
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There's nothing like a second chance romance — but maybe not sprung on you at your daughter's destination wedding, which she would very much like to live stream.
"I went a little crazy. I'm allowed, right?" Yes, yes you are.
"Did I not warn you? People hate happy women." This trailer is a bit all over the place, so just grab a beverage and a snack, snuggle under a blanket and watch this movie. Totally worth it.
Yes, why does it take longer to find love when you get older?Support the show
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Let's close out Pride Month with a replay of my episode about two amazing LGBTQ screen romances: the romantic drama Supernova, and the gleeful musical about teen love, The Prom. Prepare for snotty crying, then bopping in your chair.
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Don't miss my episode on the fantastic LGBTQ romcom Fire Island.
And the fabulously funny, honest and sexy gay romcom Bros.Support the show
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Hey romance friends! Let's celebrate Pride Month with a trio of smart, funny, quirky movies about queer girl crushes on high school classmates. Classmates to lovers is one of the most popular romantic tropes ever, and these movies have quite the unique take on those beats. The friendships are deep and full of love, the romantic explorations are hot, sexy, and heartfelt and the kisses are swoon-worthy. High school can be an exciting, and scary time for figuring out your desires and identity, but these young women navigate it all like the survivors they are.
CW: lots of swearing, explicit talk of anatomy, sex and religion
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The intention of Pride Month is "to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally.”
Looking at this trailer I laughed hysterically all over again. Bottoms is wild, horny and unhinged, but somehow it manages to become a cohesively hilarious and heartfelt queer coming-of-age romp. It's not for everyone but IYKYK.
A fascinating deeper look at the cultural themes and motifs in the original Fight Club movie from 1999.
There's so much more to high school life than being Booksmart — it took me a long time to learn that, too. I need to tuck this trailer away in my pocket and pull it out when I need to be cheered up. The slow mo power walk of these besties in their party era is total hysteria.
"Love is the trying and reaching and failing." The Half of It would not be half the movie it is without Leah Lewis as Ellie Chu.Support the show
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A romcom where a main character is addicted to porn? That's just the beginning of this amazing character study, written, directed by and starring Joseph Gordon Levitt. Jon is a difficult man to admire: he's a dishonest womanizer, marinated in heteronormative culture and toxic masculinity. Then two women cross his path and change it —one to his detriment (Scarlett Johansson as Barbara) and one to his betterment (Julianne Moore as Esther). Esther provides the mirror to Jon's behavior, and despite being at least 20 years older than he is, she's sexy, wise, and grounded and manages to wear down his defenses. This is slowburn romance with a gorgeous pay off.
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The sexy charm of Joseph Gordon Levitt makes even a toxic Jersey boy seem vaguely attractive.
"Anybody can join the HITRECORD community. We make videos, stories, songs, visual art, and of course, more! So whether you like writing, acting, filmmaking, music, drawing, photography, or whatever else, there are people here making stuff you might want to collaborate on.Or even if you don’t fancy yourself an “artist” per sé, this is me giving you the go-ahead to jump in anyway. Part of the spirit here has always been not to worry too much, and just give it a try."
Joseph Gordon Levitt is a smart sexy cookie who left college when he decided to only 'be in good movies'."
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It's been a couple of years, a hot minute since we spent time with the Bridgerton and Featherington families. If this was real life, every single woman in the Ton would now be a confirmed spinster, but fortunately, in this glittering romantic period costume drama world, we resume the story as the wallflower Penelope Featherington finally gets the romance she has dreamed of. The second part of Season 3 airs on Netflix next month — how in the Regency world will this friends to lovers trope play out? I'm here for it all.
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Dearest gentle reader, we have been apart for far too long.
I'll never forget the buzz around the first Bridgerton season. Everybody talking about a...romantic period costume drama?! About time. And if you thought the first season was hot and sexy, the second one was incendiary.
The completely awesome Season 3 soundtrack.
This is how you do body positivity in a modern adaptation of a historical romantic costume drama.Support the show
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Romance friends! I'm celebrating my 100th episode this week with an indulgent deep dive into the tear-stained emotion, blind love and delicious word play in Taylor Swift songs. My romance friend Mariah, a Swiftie from way back, returns to the show so we can gush together over the passion, the heartbreak, the artistry, the tiny exquisite emotional universe that is every Taylor Swift song (almost 250 released, and counting).
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Music
A few of Mariah's absolute favorites:
10 minute version of All Too Well
My Tears Ricochet
Cornelia Street (Live from Paris)
And a few of mine:
Anti-Hero
Exile
Willow
A fantastic round up of the most iconic Taylor Swift music videos.
How to become a Swiftie. "3. Read into her song lyrics. Many of them contain complex metaphors or references to her past works that you may miss on the first listen. Try listening to her music multiple times and reading the lyrics to understand her songs in depth. She usually writes about romance as well as personal struggles." I believe we've got that completely covered.
Taylor Swift doesn't just have an economic impact wherever she goes, she has a cultural impact too.
"This award celebrates my family and my co-writers and my team. My friends and my fiercest fans and my harshest detractors and everyone who entered my life or left it."
The best place to find suggestions for the most romantic Taylor Swift song or observe her songs analyzed by musically gifted fans is the Taylor Swift sub Reddit.Support the show
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I'm a J Lo fangirl from way back, and even though the title of her narrative concept film based on the album of the same name seemed ridiculously self-absorbed, I got completely transported by it anyway, because...J Lo. It's not just the story of her second chance romance with the person she never stopped loving, and has reunited with over the age of 50, it's a story about how she learned to love herself in the intervening years. I was also super invested in the making-of documentary, The Greatest Love Story Never Told. But if I'm being honest, that title gave me the ick too — until I discovered that was what Ben Affleck called the emails and letters written to each other as they were falling in love all over again. And just like that, all was forgiven.
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I freaking love the trailer for This Is Me Now. Irresistible! The steampunk heart factory with J Lo toiling away in a sexy tank top, and her homage to Singing in the Rain, are two of my favorite scenes in this short movie.
You don't figure stuff out when everything's hunky-dory — you figure it out when it's hard. Yassss, La Lopez. These trailers are absolutely compelling and were cut by a master editor — J Lo does not play. Bypass the title and get stuck into The Greatest Love Story Never Told.
I got this wrong: Variety actually says "J. Lo has earned more than $1 billion in box office receipts, and that’s just for her rom-coms." But I'm guessing her portion of that was in the multi millions.
Decider film critics can be counted on for the most succinct and mouthwatering reviews.
All you needed to know about the album, documentary and movie project.
"There’s something bigger here that I can share about what I’ve learned in these past 20 years, and when I’ve been making all these records about love, and trying to figure that out.”Support the show
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I have the sweetest hangover that I don't want to get over. My first ever visit with my long-distance sweetie was amazing, he's already gone home, and we're already planning our next visit. I'm exhausted, but in the very best way, so I bring you a replay of my second chance romance episode, which I created a little over a year ago after I got on dating apps for the first time in years, hoping for a love like this. And then Twitter brought us together —once upon a time, it was good for something. Never give up, romance friends!
The Long Distance Romance episode that I mentioned.
And the Second Chance Part Two episode that I mention at the end.Support the show
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I'm meeting my LDR sweetie for the first time this week, after more than a year of online dating, and excited doesn't begin to cover it. Humans are spread out all over the globe yet hyper connected, so many of us will experience a long distance romance at some point in our lives. LDRs are thrilling and intensely romantic, but can also leave you open to frustration and pain. A decent lingerie collection, unlimited Skype, solid communication skills, generous use of emojis and regular video sex really helps. The characters in these movies love while distant in either geography or the heart, and their screen journeys have all of the intimacy, affection —and miscommunication and heartache —that's part of loving someone across the miles.
CW: miscarriage, sex
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"What are you wearing?!" There are many hilarious scenes in Going the Distance thanks to the timing of this fantastic ensemble cast, but there's plenty of genuine emotion too.
"I have a good life, but I never again met anyone who made me feel the way you do." What Happens Later is a poignant romance about missed connections and bad timing that surprises in quiet ways. David Duchovny and Meg Ryan are a perfect match for this style of overlapping conversational script, infusing it with gentle comedy, midlife weariness and emotional depth.
The ending is ambiguous, which makes the story feel light and hopeful, and if you watch to the end, you see Meg Ryan's touching dedication, which brought a lump to this romcom fan's throat.
When you look at stills from the shoot, you realize how beautifully lit and art directed What Happens Later is. It looks nothing like this dinky regional airport.
How to survive a long distance relationship and make it work.Support the show
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I'm a classic film nut, and there's no better example of overblown, dramatic and romantic Hollywood storytelling than the movie Black Narcissus, starring Deborah Kerr. Based on the 1930s Rumer Godden novel, it’s a story that shows how women throughout history have so often buried themselves in service to others as they sublimate their own feelings and desires — or more likely, find those desires shamed, controlled and punished. So let's celebrate Women's History Month by enjoying stories where women conduct even the tiniest rebellions against the oppression of their true selves.
CW: explicit discussion of sex, desire and religious belief.
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My guest, Violet Grey, blogs about kinky sex and spirituality at Becoming Violet Grey. And she writes erotica for the sex positive site BloomStories: "Intimate audio stories designed for diving deep into your pleasure."
The trailer for the 1947 Black Narcissus movie.
And a slightly different, thrilling and sizzling angle on the convent of Saint Faith.
The enduring allure of erotic masterpiece Black Narcissus
The first edition book jacket of the novel is stunning.
And so is the classic 1911 perfume on which the title is based.
Rumer Godden was quite a woman.
Rumer Godden converted to Catholicism late in life, and a few of her 60 works of fiction and nonfiction, like Black Narcissus, explored the mystical, spiritual and practical aspects of religious life.Support the show
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