Afleveringen
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Episode Description: In this episode, I celebrate the release of my new book "Daily Sparkles: Illuminate Your Life with 1,000 Glimmers" by diving deep into the concept of glimmers - what they are, how they helped me through my darkest moments, and how you can find them in your own life, no matter what you're facing.
In This Episode:
- What glimmers/sparkles are and how they differ from traditional gratitude practices
- How microscopic moments of noticing became Emma's lifeline during her divorce
- The science behind how glimmers affect our nervous system as the opposite of triggers
- Why glimmers are accessible to everyone, regardless of circumstances
- Examples of sparkles from my book across different seasons
- Practical tips for finding your own glimmers using your senses
Key Takeaways:
- Glimmers don't require you to feel positive; they simply ask you to notice what's around you
- Once you start seeing sparkles, you begin noticing them everywhere
- Nature is one of the richest sources for finding glimmers
- Looking for sparkles isn't about toxic positivity - it's about finding momentary respite
- Glimmers can exist alongside difficulty; they don't negate hard emotions
Resources Mentioned:
My new book: "Daily Sparkles: Illuminate Your Life with 1,000 Glimmers" - available wherever books are sold in the US, UK, and Canada
Journal Prompts:
- Notice & Name: What tiny moment caught your attention today?
- Contrast & Calm: Find a glimmer within a challenging moment
- Nature's Offerings: Pause outside for 30 seconds to notice natural sparkles
- Daily Rhythms: Identify sparkles in your routine activities
- Beyond Gratitude: Document moments that brought you into the present
Connect with Emma: @thedilemmasofemma on all platforms
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this episode, I open up about experiencing depression during what should be a happy time in my life - my book launch, a new office space, and other positive developments. We explore the concept of "the disorientation of calm" - what happens when our nervous systems, accustomed to crisis mode, struggle to adapt to stability.
What You'll Hear:
- How the transition from crisis to calm can be unexpectedly challenging
- The contrast between personal stability and global/political uncertainty
- Warning signs that indicate more than just a passing mood
- Practical approaches for managing mental health challenges
- Why healing isn't linear and the importance of honoring both progress and struggles
Resources Mentioned:
My book: "Daily Sparkles: Illuminating Your Life with 1000 Glimmers" - out next week!
The Sparkle Circle paid subscription ($6/month or $60/year)
Monday co-working sessions, Thursday "Main Character Moments," and Sunday exclusive podcasts
Connect with Emma:
Instagram: @thedilemmasofemma
Substack: Daily Sparkles
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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In this vulnerable episode, Emma shares a recent breakdown moment and explores the "liminal space" concept - those uncomfortable thresholds between our past and future selves. She discusses the broken social contract many millennials face, the frustration of wanting clear direction when there isn't any, and how to keep moving forward when you can't see the path ahead.
In This Episode
(00:00) Introduction and Emma's emotional breakdown
(02:45) Life updates: book release, office space, and approaching 36
(06:30) The broken social contract and feeling like the rules have changed
(10:15) Understanding liminal space and why it feels so uncomfortable
(14:20) The desire for a roadmap and why there isn't one
(17:40) The duality of healing - progress and struggle coexisting
(20:55) Finding transformation in liminal spaces
(23:10) "The only way out is through" - making the next right choice
(25:15) What real support looks like versus toxic positivity
(27:05) Journal prompts for navigating uncertainty
(28:40) Five glimmers from Emma's week
Journal Prompts
Where in your life are you experiencing liminal space right now?
What complex emotions are you avoiding sitting with?
When have you navigated something difficult without a clear path?
What would it look like to validate your struggles while acknowledging your progress?
What is one small "next right step" you can take today?
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this episode, Emma shares her experience going on her first date after divorce as part of her 52 Dates project. She discusses the dating advice her community shared, how she navigated old patterns, what main character energy looks like in dating, and announces her new Sparkle Circle membership.
Topics Covered:
- Emma's first romantic date post-divorce experience
- Valuable dating advice from the community
- Recognizing and navigating old patterns and insecurities
- Applying main character energy to dating
- The healing process through real-world experiences
- Introduction of the Sparkle Circle membership program
Pre-Date Experience (0:00-3:00)
- The date was with someone Emma worked with last year, not online dating
- Physical nervousness (shaking hands) but also excitement about getting ready
- The experience of setting up dating profiles vs. the reality
During & After the Date (3:00-5:00)
- It was a day date with lower pressure
- Emma showed up more authentically than she would have in the past
- Feeling of accomplishment and giddiness afterward
Dating Advice Used (5:00-8:00)
- "Go with the flow – this is data collection on myself"
- "Focus on whether I like him, not just if he likes me"
- The value of community support during new experiences
Noticing Old Patterns (8:00-10:00)
- People-pleasing tendencies still emerge in dating situations
- The lingering thought of "why would anyone want to go out with me?"
- The gap between rational understanding and emotional reality
Main Character Energy in Dating (10:00-13:30)
- The difference between main character energy and main character syndrome
- The aesthetic idea vs. the reality of what it looks like in practice
- Small moments of choosing yourself rather than grand displays
The Healing Process (13:30-16:00)
- Building confidence through action rather than just thinking
- Navigating the desire to be wanted while fearing that's all someone might value
- The impact of past relationship traumas on current dating experiences
Journal Prompts (16:00-18:00)
1. What dating narratives or "rules" did you absorb growing up?
2. What would it look like to approach dating as self-discovery rather than partner-finding?
3. What feels different about how you show up in relationships now?
4. Imagine a date with yourself - what quirks and features do you love?
Glimmers (18:00-20:00)
1. Spring weather in Virginia
2. Watching shadows move on the grass
3. Finding chapstick when you thought you didn't have one
4. Daily chalk drawings of glimmers
5. Discovering new music
The Sparkle Circle Announcement (20:00-end)
- New $6/month membership experience
- Sunday Deep Dive Podcast Episodes
- "Main Character Moments" Live Sessions (Thursdays at 2pm ET)
- Co-working Sessions for Creative Accountability (Mondays at 3:30pm ET and Sundays)
- Behind-the-scenes journal reflections and more intimate content
Resources Mentioned
- Join The Sparkle Circle!
- My book is out in less than a month! Preorder here!
- Instagram: @thedilemmasofemma
"Healing still counts if you're doing it sad. Growth still counts if you're doing it scared. The choices still count even when you don't want to make them."
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
Episode Summary:Triggers can be some of the most challenging aspects of healing. Whether it’s a scent, a song, a place, or a sudden reminder, they can hijack our nervous system and throw us back into past pain. In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into how to recognize, cope with, and ultimately move through these moments of emotional ambush.
I’ll also share insights from the community, personal experiences, and the ways I’ve seen triggers evolve over time. Healing isn’t linear, but progress is possible, and today, we’re talking about how to navigate it with compassion.
Episode Highlights:
- Understanding how triggers affect our nervous system
- How to create distance, reframe, and challenge emotional responses
- Strategies like grounding techniques, movement, and mindfulness
- The power of creating new associations with places, dates, and experiences
- Therapeutic approaches like EMDR, Brainspotting, and exposure therapy
Journal Prompts to Reflect On:
- What triggers have faded over time that once felt impossible to handle?
- What small coping mechanisms have you developed that others might not notice?
- How has your recovery time changed when you encounter triggers?
- What places or things would you like to reclaim from triggering associations?
- What would you say to yourself in the earliest days post-separation about triggers?
This Week’s Glimmers:
- The way sunlight created patterns on my kitchen wall
- My dog’s excitement when I got home from DoorDash
- Finding the perfect produce while grocery shopping for a customer
- A text from a friend who asked, "No, really, how are you?"
- Successfully sticking with my “montage moments” schedule despite my ADHD challenges
Resources & Links:
My book, Daily Sparkles, is coming out on March 18th. Pre-order now: https://geni.us/DailySparkles
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In today's episode, I share my journey through three Valentine's Days post-divorce and how each one has marked a different chapter in my healing journey. From literally punching a denim jacket in Target during my first Valentine's Day after separation to planning a movie date with myself this year, I explore how our relationship with holidays can reflect our growth.
I also get vulnerable about setting up my first dating profile in a decade and the interesting challenges that came with trying to present my authentic self - Bob's Burgers marathons, Sour Patch Kids, and all. We talk about the evolution from trying to make ourselves more "dateable" to embracing who we really are.
In this episode, I discuss:
- My journey through three very different Valentine's Days
- The complex relationship with holidays, even beforethe divorce
- Creating my first Hinge profile
- Learning to be authentically myself in dating
- The perfect oat milk latte recipe
- Finding joy in watching dogs discover snow
Plus journal prompts to help you explore your own relationship with celebration and special occasions.
Remember: You are the main character of your own life - not someone else's. Your healing journey is yours alone, and there's no "right" way to handle holidays or celebrations.
Keep seeking those sparkles! 💙
For expanded thoughts and deeper reflections, check out my Substack post on this topic.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this episode, Emma shares the practical process behind writing her upcoming book "Daily Sparkles: Illuminating Your Life with 1000 Glimmers" (Release date: March 18, 2025)
Key Topics:
Timeline from publisher contact to upcoming release
Creating organizational systems for 1000 glimmers
The writing process and voice note method
Working with editors and publishers
Tips for aspiring writers
Glimmers Mentioned:
Dairy-free cheese success with Daiya's new oat milk blend
Fat robin balancing on Christmas lights
Henry's sweater with an unexpected pocket
Memorable DoorDash order of Oreo-less McFlurries
Coffee staying unexpectedly warm
Journal Prompts:
Systems for making big dreams manageable
Capturing daily inspiration
Breaking down seemingly impossible dreams
Identifying and challenging limiting voices
Finding and incorporating natural creative flow
Resources:
Paid subscriber content
Book pre-order available at major retailers
Coming to Target stores in 2025
Next Week:
Starting co-working sessions for paid subscribers
Daily Sparkles is a space where we explore glimmers, growth, and finding light in unexpected places.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
After two years of healing post-divorce, I'm preparing to enter the world of dating apps for the first time in over a decade. Having never really used dating apps before (my last experience was with OkCupid!), I turned to my community for guidance on which apps to use and what questions they ask potential partners. The response was incredible - not just in volume but in the thoughtfulness behind the questions. We explore how dating apps have evolved, which platforms are most popular now, and dive deep into the questions that can help us date more intentionally. From verifying someone's actual relationship status to understanding their values, these questions reflect a collective wisdom about dating with boundaries and self-respect. Whether you're actively dating or just curious about how dating has changed, this episode offers insights into approaching relationships with intention and authenticity.
Most Common Themes in Questions
- Relationship Status Verification
- Political Alignment & Values
Therapy & Emotional Intelligence
Family Planning
Past Relationship Insights
Notable Apps & Features
- Hinge
- Bumble
- Coffee Meets Bagel app
- The League app
Journal Prompts & Discussion Questions
- What qualities would you confidently claim in yourself when dating?
- What are your non-negotiables in early dating conversations?
- How do you maintain your authenticity while getting to know someone new?
- What would make you feel empowered in your dating journey?
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
After putting up a question box on social media, I was moved by how many of our healing journeys mirror each other, even when our circumstances differ. In this episode, I share about my second date in the 52 Dates project (a fantasy book club!), reflect on the two-year anniversary of my divorce, and answer your questions about rebuilding trust, handling overwhelm, and finding light in uncertain times. Whether you're taking yourself to Paris on what would have been an anniversary, gathering the courage to file divorce papers, or just trying to stay engaged with the world without drowning in it - this episode is a reminder that you're not alone in doing the messy, necessary work of growth. Plus: journal prompts for processing friendship betrayal and relationship transitions, and as always, today's glimmers.
Topics Covered:
- Second date of the 52 Dates project: Fantasy Book Club experience
- Navigating social anxiety and new environments
- Anniversary reactions and body memories
- Processing grief while celebrating growth
- Managing overwhelm and doom scrolling
- Rebuilding trust after betrayal
- Creating your own justice
- Finding balance in uncertain times
Key Quotes:
"When we heal ourselves, we create ripples. When we learn to trust ourselves again, we show others it's possible."
"The only way out is through."
"Not every thought needs to be shared, not every message needs a response, not every news alert deserves attention."
Journal Prompts:
- When I think about trust now versus two years ago, the biggest difference is...
- The quiet ways I've been rebuilding trust in myself look like...
- If I could write a letter to the version of me who first felt this betrayal, I would tell them...
- The difference between missing someone and missing who I thought they were is...
- Three boundaries I'm proud of setting in my relationships are...
- When I notice myself hesitating to trust again, I remind myself...
Today's Glimmers:
- The courage in your questions
- Theo dreaming with moving paws and exposed belly
- One-on-one dinner with mom
- Hot shower after the gym on a 7-degree day
- The gift of supportive community
Resources Mentioned:
- Book discussed at Fantasy Book Club: "Weyward" by Emilia Hart
- Calm App for meditation and journaling
Connect With Emma:
Instagram: @thedilemmasofemma
Substack: https://substack.com/@thedilemmasofemma
For expanded discussions and subscriber-only content, consider becoming a paid subscriber on Substack.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this episode, we explore the concept of "main character energy" - what it means, what it doesn't mean, and how it evolves through our healing journey. We begin with a personal update about attending a singles mixer in D.C. as part of the 52 dates project, which leads into a deeper discussion about authenticity and showing up for ourselves.
Key Topics Covered:
- The difference between main character energy and main character syndrome
- How main character energy evolves from survival mode to intentional living
- Authenticity versus performance in sharing our stories
- The role of main character energy in dating and relationships
- Small daily choices that reflect main character energy
Journal Prompts:
1. Where in your life are you minimizing yourself or your achievements?
2. What would it feel like to let your accomplishments stand on their own?
3. When you think about main character energy, what small daily moments make you feel most aligned with your authentic self?
Glimmers Mentioned:
1. Finding a nail file exactly where it belonged after organizing
2. A heartwarming interaction during a DoorDash delivery
3. Sunlight glittering on snow
4. Fresh, clean sheets
5. Unexpected puppy cuddles
Resources Mentioned:
- Upcoming book: "Daily Sparkles: Illuminating Your Life With 1000 Glimmers" (March 2025)
- 52 Dates Project
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this episode, Emma explores the subtle signs that indicate we're moving beyond survival mode and truly healing. Through personal examples and reflections, she discusses how healing often shows up in small, quiet moments of choice - what she calls "the microscopic pause" between choosing the easy way and choosing ourselves.
KEY MOMENTS
Discussion of how healing looks different than expected
Introduction of "the microscopic pause" concept
Examples of small acts of self-respect
Reflection on how layers of healing reveal themselves
Personal story about cleaning baseboards as an act of self-respect
Insights about building self-trust through tiny promises
MAIN TAKEAWAYS
Healing often shows up in small, everyday choices
The "microscopic pause" is a sign of moving beyond survival mode
Each new layer of healing is progress, not a setback
Self-trust builds through keeping small promises to ourselves
It's okay to do what you need to do to survive
JOURNAL PROMPTS
What small task feels possible now that felt impossible before?
Where do you notice those tiny pauses in your day?
What would it look like to celebrate choosing yourself?
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this episode, Emma reflects on how her relationship with New Year's planning and goal-setting has transformed since January 2023, sharing insights about control, trust, and dreaming differently.
Key Topics:
- Transforming our relationship with planning and control
- Finding freedom in letting go of rigid goals
- Learning to trust ourselves rather than outcomes
- Creating flexible frameworks instead of fixed plans
- Moving from survival to intentional growth
Journal Prompts:
- What have your experiences taught you about your own resilience?
- What would success look like if nothing external changed?
- What values do you want to move toward this year?
Today's Glimmers:
- Freshly groomed dogs
- Cardinal against the winter sky
- Heated towel warmer comfort
- Modern medicine
- Courage to dream differently
Special Announcement: Starting this Sunday, weekend episodes will be exclusive to paid subscribers. Join us for an intimate conversation about a special 2025 project focusing on intentionally creating experiences and stepping back into life.
Links:
Subscribe on Substack: https://substack.com/@thedilemmasofemma
Follow Daily Sparkles: @thedilemmasofemma
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
This episode is a reflection on how our definitions of success transform through different seasons of life, especially during times of major transition and healing.
LIFE UPDATES:
- Recovering from walking pneumonia over the Christmas holidays
- Enjoyed quality family time despite being under the weather
- First Christmas at home since divorce
- Brother and sister-in-law visited for 5-6 days
- FaceTime calls with family in Brussels
EPISODE KEY THEMES:
The Transformation of Success
- Shifting from external milestones to internal measures
- Moving from people-pleasing to self-validation
- Finding worth beyond traditional metrics
- Learning to celebrate smaller, more meaningful victories
Unexpected Strengths
- Discovering capacity for hope and resilience
- Finding glimmers even in dark times
- Growing more comfortable with vulnerability
- Learning to share previously hidden parts of self
The Gift of Starting Over
- Moving home at 35: initial challenge to current blessing
- Three stages of rebuilding:
Embracing the Unfinished
- Having goals again after a period of pure survival
- Building slowly and authentically
- Finding peace in the process
- Understanding the value of the "messy middle"
JOURNAL PROMPTS:
1. What victories have you celebrated this year that might not make it onto a traditional accomplishment list?
2. How has your definition of success evolved? What measures of success feel most authentic to you now?
3. What unfinished goals are you carrying with compassion into the new year?
THIS WEEK'S GLIMMERS:
1. Modern medicine
2. In-between moments of just being together
3. Harry Potter movies
4. New Skylight star projector
5. Finding peace in the process of becoming
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:
Starting in January 2025, Sunday episodes and posts will become part of the paid subscriber experience, including:
- Intimate Q&As
- Community discussions
- Deeper exploration of topics
- Wednesday episodes will remain free for everyone
- Subscription details available on Substack page
QUOTE TO REMEMBER:
"Success isn't just about what you're achieving; it's about who you're becoming in the process."
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this intimate Sunday episode, we explore the concept of "the messy middle" - those chapters of our story where growth and challenge coexist. Through the lens of fantasy books and personal experience, we discover how the most meaningful parts of our journey often happen in these in-between spaces.
In This Episode:
- The difference between watching someone else's journey and being in our own
- Why the middle of the story matters more than the ending
- Moving through second holiday seasons and seeing progress
- Finding strength in the uncertain spaces
- Learning to trust our own timeline
Journal Prompts Mentioned:
1. What "messy middles" have you already moved through?
2. During this holiday season, what parts of your life feel like they're in the middle of transformation?
3. How might you view your journey differently with the same compassion you offer others?
Today's Glimmers:
- Snow falling during morning writing
- Warmth of sleeping dogs
- Quiet house before holiday bustle
- Fresh coffee in a favorite mug
- Finding peace in the messy middle
Connect With Daily Sparkles:
- Instagram: @thedilemmasofemma
- Join Our Substack
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this episode of Daily Sparkles, Emma explores what it really means to build a life that matches your self-worth. Starting with a powerful morning reflection, she dives into the journey of redefining worth after divorce and learning to trust your own metrics for success.
Key themes:
The difference between circumstance and approach
Finding new ways to measure worth after loss
Making choices others might not understand
Navigating the messy middle of rebuilding
Learning to dance between healing and growth
Emma shares personal insights about moving home at 35, choosing an unconventional path, and finding peace in your own timeline. This episode is for anyone questioning whether their approach to life truly matches their worth.
Plus: Five glimmers Emma is noticing this week.
Join us on Sundays for deeper dives, journaling prompts, and community discussion at Daily Sparkles on Substack.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe -
In this first episode of Daily Sparkles: Voice Notes, Emma introduces the space where we'll explore glimmers, growth, and finding light in unexpected places. She shares her journey of discovering glimmers during her darkest moments, and how these tiny sparks of light became a practice, an art, and eventually the foundation for this community.
Key themes:
- The origin story of glimmer-finding
- What to expect from Daily Sparkles
- The power of noticing tiny moments of light
- Creating space for healing and growth
- Building a community of glimmer seekers
Read the full piece and join our community at Daily Sparkles on Substack.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedilemmasofemma.substack.com/subscribe
