Afleveringen

  • August 28th 2024

    Yuriy notes that last weekend marked two and a half years since the start of the war in Ukraine and he reflects on the profound losses and relentless struggle for survival. He calls on listeners to support Ukraine, emphasizing the dire consequences if the world neglects their plight.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

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    Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It is August 28th.

    Last weekend, marked exactly two and a half years since I joined the Army. It's quite a long time. During this period, I found many new friends and lost many old ones to death or disappearance. During this time, my parents became refugees, my brother turned into a traitor and I started and almost gave up on making a podcast. I've been on many fronts, hid from shelling in Bakhmut, and saw the' Russians fleeing from Kharkiv. So much has happened. So many people have died in these two years. So much pain and blood.

    I've also seen how the rhetoric of Kremlin agents in the West has changed. At first, they claimed that helping Ukraine was pointless, but it wouldn't last even a couple of weeks and that the Russians would quickly seize the entire country. Then we screamed about Nazis, about terrible oppression of Russian-speaking Ukrainians that Putin was supposedly rescuing. Later, when it became obvious that the regions suffering the most destruction and deaths were war with large Russian speaking populations, these creatures started scaring the world with the threat of nuclear war if Putin began to lose.

    Now we have a new narrative. I constantly see Americans and Europeans saying things like, "Not a cent of aid to Ukraine as long as our country has homeless veterans." This is not just nonsense, it's a crime. If the citizens of free countries stop helping Ukraine, you will all turn into homeless veterans- your children, your elderly parents, your friends, and your loved ones. If Ukraine falls, you'll all even be dead or homeless veterans. And you will consider yourself lucky if you become homeless veterans of your own national armies that have defended their independence at the cost of completely destroyed cities and enormous human losses.

    Because there is a high chance that you'll become homeless veterans of fascist Russian army. It is forming entire brigades of people from occupied territories. It does not care about the motivation or loyalty of such soldiers. They are expendable. Most people driven into these brigades spent a couple of weeks on the front lines. Then they either die or are severely wounded and remain disabled homeless veterans for life. And you'll be among them if Ukraine does not stand. Putin will need a lot of canon fodder for world domination and he's delighted when in another fool writes "not a cent for Ukraine" because that fool is his potential soldier. Help Ukraine. Two and a half years of war is very long and very difficult, but we are holding on and you should too. Believe me, it's much, much harder for us here.

  • August 22nd 2024

    Yuriy vividly recounts Ukraine's bold offensive into Russia, drawing parallels with General Sherman's historic march. As he shares his personal reflections and hopes for a decisive victory, Yuriy provides a raw and insightful perspective on the ongoing conflict.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

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    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It is August 22.

    What you've read in textbooks, what you've seen in Epic paintings, and what has inspired you is happening right now. The Ukrainian Army is now replicating General Sherman's March through Georgia in Russia's Kursk region. Yes, it is the closest historical analogy. It's a strike at the enemies rear, a demoralizing strike, a painful strike with a far reaching, though still unclear to many, consequences.

    One of the main tasks of any army forced to fight a war on its own territory is to transfer this war to the enemies territory. So that it's their, the enemies, cities and villages being destroyed by artillery. Their civilian population turning into refugees and their, not our, fields and factories burning from direct shelling.

    For two and a half years, Ukraine fought with a wild and impossible limitation: our partners gave us weapons, but forbid us from using them outside of Ukraine. We had no rights to strike military targets in Russia while Russia had no such restrictions. Now, everything is changing. We are bringing the war to the territory of the aggressor country. They have sown the wind, and now we will reap whirlwind.

    I would like our offensive to be exactly like Sherman's- all, the way to the sea, the baltic or the white sea, with the destruction of everything in its path, cutting the enemy fronts in half. Of course, it won't be that way- these are different times with different weapons, tactics, and logistics. But what is happening now is history, something that could become a turning point in this war. The Russians dreamed of capturing Kyiv in three days, but now over 900 days into their three day war, they are losing village after village on their own territory.

    It's been a long time since I have had a real reason for good cheer, but now I'm almost dancing- we have thrown the fire of war back to where it came from. Now we must push forward and not stop. I confess I'm a bit envious of my comrades who are now fighting in the Kursk region. When I left Russia more than 10 years ago, I told myself I would never return to that wretched, racist country. But now I realize that I would gladly go there for a couple of months in a Ukrainian tank.

    If I do get there, and there is always a chance, I will certainly tell you about it. But for now, wish us all and all of Ukraine luck. Let Moscow be burned and its cannibalistic regime destroyed forever.

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  • August 5th 2024

    Yuriy unravels the shocking truth behind a supposed ally—a Spanish journalist who turned out to be a Russian spy. Yuriy describes a real-life encounter with a Russian intelligence agent and the haunting aftermath of betrayal on the front lines of Ukraine.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

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    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It's August five.

    I'm truly burnt out, which makes it difficult for me to do even simple tasks. Honestly, I even wanted to take a couple more weeks off from recording any episodes, but a few days ago I received a few dozen dollars on PayPal from you and realized that I still have an obligation to you. Today, I will tell you a real spy thriller to which I, for a long time without realizing it had a connection.

    You have probably heard that last week there was an exchange of convicts between Russia and Western countries. The Russians sent to Europe and the USA journalists and several minor local and anti Putin politicians, and in return, they received a bunch of real criminals, illegal agents who hunted for secret information, hackers who stole money from Western citizens and transferred it to accounts associated with Russian special services and even real hired killers. I must admit, I personally know one of those whom the Russians pulled out from behind bars.

    We met in 2014, a few weeks after the then limited Russian invasion of Ukraine. At that time, we seized Donetsk and Luhansk, and there was a threat of an advance on the city of Dnipro. In the summer and autumn of 2014, there were a lot of journalists there, including foreigners. Among them was a Basque with a Spanish passport who spoke Russian with a noticeable accent, but very well. He eagerly told everyone that his grandmother and grandfather fled to the Soviet Union during the Spanish civil War, learned the language there, passed the knowledge on to their grandson. His name was Pablo Gonzalez.

    At first, this name seemed too charicatured to me; there is no more stereotypical Spanish name in the world than Pabla Gonzales, but I did not pay attention to it at that time. Gonzales was as pro Ukrainian as possible. He condemned the Russian aggression, supported the revolution, and even criticized the West for insufficient support for Ukraine. He visited Kyiv and our cities quite often, and he even had a Ukrainian girlfriend. Usually, he wrote to me a few days before his arrival and invited me to a bar. I always declined and instead invited him to my radio show. It was actually interesting- a Spanish journalist, a Basque supports Ukraine, talks about what Europe and USA should do to help us and mentions details of political life in Spain and other countries unknown to the broader Ukrainian public.

    I even encourage my colleagues from our media to contact Pablo if they needed someone knowledgeable about European affairs and people indeed contacted him. Pablo's round face with a truly Spanish conquistador-like beard occasionally appeared on Ukrainian television.

    Then the big war came. I quit journalism and joined the Army, and I forgot about Pablo as well as almost everything from my peaceful life. And a few days ago I read about the exchange. The article had a photo of the exchanged. Among them was the portrait of Pablo Gonzalez. As it turned out, he was neither Pablo, nor Gonzalez. His name was Pavel Rubstov. He's a Russian intelligence agent. His task was to establish friendly relations with journalists and politicians in Ukraine and neighboring countries. He was detained in Poland a few days after the start of a full scale invasion in February, 2022, he was snooping around the Ukrainian border.

    He definitely did not learn anything secret from me- I never had access to any secrets, but unfortunately I helped legalized him in Ukraine. Made him recognizable without knowing the truth about him and recommended him to others as a speaker. I feel ashamed and hurt because of this.

    Pablo Gonzales. This name is not caricatured as it seemed to me. It is a cover name. Go and try to find data about every Gonzales in the world. He chose it, or rather it was chosen for him by his commanders to lose him among millions of real Gonzalez's.

    It's a pity that he was handed over to the Russians. I would like spies to stay behind bars, and I'm also curious about what happened to his Ukrainian girlfriend. Is she also a victim of his deception or an accomplice of a enemy who helped him in his wild work?

  • July 26th 2024

    Yuriy delves into the story of the small Ukrainian town of New York, which is facing relentless destruction by Russian forces. He highlights the stark contrasts and tragic connections between this town and its namesake in America, highlighting the symbolic and brutal nature of the ongoing conflict.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

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    Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It is July 26.

    In Western News, this is not being mentioned, but the Russians are currently wiping New York off the face of Earth. They are dropping bumps from planes, launching missiles and destroying buildings one by one with FPV drones. Many New Yorkers have been killed, and even more locals have become refugees. It is so dangerous to be in New York, but the authorities have banned journalists and our civilians from entering. And this is all true. Except it is not the American, New York, it's a small town with the same name in the Dansk region.

    Why and when this Ukrainian town became New York is unknown, but it has been called that at least since 1860. After Second World War during the Cold War, the Soviet authorities renamed the town, but a few months before the full scale invasion, New York once again became New York. Even when it was a frontline town. Since 2014, the frontline has been just a few miles away. The town was constantly sheltered by the Russians who had taken over parts of the Donetsk and Luhansk regions under the guise of local separatists 10 years ago.

    Yet the town was alive. A lot of interesting things were happening there. It even had its own literary festival attracting writers from all over Ukraine and even abroad. For a town with a population of just 2000 people, this is very impressive. However, there have not been 2000 people there for a long time. Now, only a few dozen residents remain. The rest either fled or died. Several neighborhoods of a town no longer exist only ruins remain of the homes. The Russians are thrilled about this. Their social networks celebrate with destruction of every house, the killing of every local resident as a holiday. "New York must be destroyed" openly, write, Russian soldiers and propagandists.

    There is almost no strategic sense in this destruction. But there is a symbolic one. Propaganda depicts the war for Russians as a heroic confrontation with the West. At the beginning of invasion. Central Russian TV channels showed plans for advancing not only on Kyiv and Lyiv, but also on Warsaw, Berlin, and London, the most zealous propagandists called for immediate bombing of American cities, especially New York as a symbol of American might. Now, after two and a half years with none of their plans realized, the Russians are bombing the New York, they can reach -a small town that bears no resemblance of American one- but we do it with the pomp as if we are destroying the entire Manhattan.

    They are obsessed with a desire to destroy, the desire to kill. Honestly, they would bomb the American New York along with Paris, Warsaw and other cities, but in their way stand, small Ukrainian towns and their defenders. The large and vibrant American, New York still lives its usual peaceful life only because the small, unremarkable Ukrainian, New York is dying for it now. Please remember this.

  • July 16th 2024

    Yuriy explores the chilling synchrony between Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi's acceptance of an honor from Putin and a missile strike on a Ukrainian hospital, showing how tyrants like Putin are normalizing evil today. He also examines how cultural icons and global politicians still engage with Putin, reflecting a troubling ambiguity in the world's stance against Russian aggression.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

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    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It is July 16.

    At the very moment when Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, standing in the Moscow Kremlin bent his neck before Putin to receive the Order of Saint Andrew Kyiv, rescuers were pulling children killed by a Russian missile from the rubble of a hospital. This was not a coincidence. Putin wanted these to events to occur one right after another. It was important for him to show the world that he's not an outcast, that being a criminal and still being a reliable partner for many countries is entirely possible.

    One could say that Putin bonded Modi with blood. He orchestrated everything so that these two news stories would follow each other: first, a Russian missile kills Ukrainian children, and then the one who gave order to launch the missile bestows an order on the Prime minister of the country, that calls itself the world's largest democracy. The Indian Prime Minister then muttered something about the necessity of peace, about war not being the answer. But Modi did not discard the foolish dog-collar like order, nor did he admit that his visit to Moscow was a mistake.

    Did he not know he was visiting a murderer? A person who has unleashed the bloodiest war in Europe in the last 80 years? That Putin had already killed children in Mariupol, Bucha, and many other cities. He knew everything, saw everything, and accepted everything. He only disliked that Putin decided to strike the Children's Hospital on the very day the Indian delegation arrived. If it happened a day earlier or later, Modi would have completely ignored the death of Ukrainian children.

    Perhaps you have not noticed yet, but we are witnessing the normalization of evil. For decades, tyrants of all kinds have hidden way crimes trying to appear courteous and honest. Since Pol Pot, who sent Khmer youth to kill our parents with Host, no one has openly boasted about mass murders and destruction of entire cities. Putin has become the first after Paul Pot, and many are fine with this. It's not just about Modi. A couple of weeks before him, a whole delegation of world musicians who can without ation be called jazz greats visited Moscow. Richard Bona, Allan Harris, Avishai Cohen, Dhafer Youssef and others.

    They played at a state organized jazz festival, the faces of this festival were are propagandists who daily talk about how main task of Russians is to kill Ukrainians. Fees came from the same state budget that pays for the production of bombs and missiles to destroy Ukrainian schools and hospitals. And all these stars knew this very well. But they went anyway because evil has been normalized. Because the democratic world has not fully defined its attitude towards Russia. First, greedy fools like Youssef and Cohen go to bow to Putin, then ultra right politicians like Modi and then he will start being accepted in your formerly democratic countries. Or will he not? It depends only on you, on your attitude towards evil and your resistance to its normalization.

    Sorry to remind you, but please, if you like my stories, you can always support me with a couple of bucks while donating. You are also fighting against evil.

  • July 8th 2024

    Yuriy shares his dislike for cinemas but draws powerful parallels between the movie 'Dunkirk' and Ukraine's current war against Russian aggression. He describes the devastating impact of the conflict on civilians, particularly children, and calls for global support to stop the atrocities committed by Russian forces.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

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    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It is July 8th.

    I don't like going to the cinema. It usually makes me very uncomfortable. Too many people, everything is too loud. It's just not my thing. I went to cinemas so rarely, but I even remember the last movie I watched on the big screen. It was Christopher Nolan's Dunkirk. Moreover, I vividly remember the beginning of a movie. The scene where a British soldier runs through the streets of Dunkirk, stumbles upon the French barricade, and the French let him through with one shouting after him, "Bon Voyage."

    You know, this it reflects our reality, our war. In Ukraine, we are like those French soldiers in the film- holding back the Nazi onslaught while the world runs away from reality. Just as the British soldiers fled in the movie. The French on the barricade wear helmets from the First World War, their machine guns are also very old. But we hold on and fight just like Ukraine fights now often gasping without new modern weapons.

    It's fascinating to watch such films from our time knowing that those British guys are neither cowards, nor traitors, but we continue to fight against Nazism and will return to France to liberate it. As for the future of our war, we know nothing. Will we continue to fight alone against terrorists who destroy entire cities and dream of conquering Europe? Will our partners continue to help us or will we betray us for cheap fuel and Putin's promises not to attack them? We don't know any of this. Nolan has not made a film about us: our future's script is being written right now and it is being written with the blood of Ukrainians.

    Just today, the Russians launched a massive missile strike on Ukrainian cities. In Kyiv their missile hit a children's hospital. The ward for children with cancer. These Russian monsters have nothing sacred, where not humans, where mindless values immoral scum. Russia is at war against children with cancer. Brave Russian pilots drop bombs and missiles on children's hospitals without hesitation, and they even receive promotions and medals for it. This is not a coincidence when you, what we are doing and did it intentionally. And we will keep doing it as long as we have missiles and bombs.

    These children are Russia's terrible enemies; they committed an unforgivable crime in the eyes of the Russians, they they are born Ukrainians. And for this, were being bombed. For this, we are all being bombed and we hold on while the rest of the world mentally evacuates from our bloody modern Dunkirk.

    Perhaps I don't like going to the cinema also because I can't help with people on the screen who get into trouble. It's like I'm spying on them, when I should at least do something for them. But the war in Ukraine is not a movie, and when democratic world is not an audience helplessly watching a tragedy and not helping wars suffering before their eyes. The world can help, can provide weapons, can show Putin and his humanoid scum that they, cannot bomb children with impunity. And I really hope that this will be the case.

  • June 24th 2024

    Yuriy shares the emotional journey of his film's premiere and gives a sneak peek into his next project dedicated to the realities of war. Discover the stories behind the scenes and the people who inspired them.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAHe_g7Z3vghttps://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/cannibals-but-partners-why-the-west?r=dzvo1https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/putins-stability-is-being-blown-up?r=dzvo1

    https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/unleashing-azov-why-one-of-ukraineshttps://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/chronicle-of-kharkiv-during-the-war

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

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    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

     It is June 24.

    Well, my film has finally premiered. In fact, there were two premieres. First Kyiv at the War film festival, and one in Cherkasy, the hometown of a person the film is about. I have to admit, the audience liked the film, the mother and sister of the film's hero cried and thanked me for preserving the image of the loved one on screen. The film is already on YouTube and there will be a link to it in the podcast description. I must note that it is in Ukrainian and the people in it are unlikely to be familiar to a Western audience, but it is still worth your attention.

    Also, I have a cameo in the film. I appear on screen for a few seconds. You probably won't recognize me because the scene ends so quickly, but I'll give you a hint. The soldier with a camera around whom a small dog is running, is me. It's such a successful scene during the shooting of which we all almost died, that it'll be also included in the next film I'm working on.

    It'll be dedicated to Bakhmut from which I have several hours of footage. Unfortunately, not all of the people in these shots are still with us. At least one person, a young, cheerful girl, died a few months after I filmed her story. I don't know if all this will be interesting to the viewer, but it is a reflection of reality -life in war, unembellished and uncolored, just as it is.

    I also have three links for you today to my film and to two of my new articles. I hope you not only enjoy listening to me but also reading my works. By the way, I have a video somewhere where I talk about my combat scooter and its strange journey. I used it to get around in the early days of the war. If you are interested, let me know and I will edit it at English subtitles and post it on Substack, and don't forget what GoFundMe operates daily, that there are no small donation and that without your help, neither the podcast, the articles nor videos from me can exist.

  • June 18th 2024

    Yuriy reflects on the grim reality of war, where death becomes an all-too-familiar presence. He discusses the heavy emotional toll of losing friends and colleagues, both through warfare and other tragic circumstances, highlighting the insufficiency of psychological defenses built for war when faced with non-combat deaths.

    https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/unleashing-azov-why-one-of-ukraineshttps://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/chronicle-of-kharkiv-during-the-war

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

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    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It is June 18.

    We have become accustomed to people dying in war. It is very clinical, but there is nothing you can do about it when every day, hundreds of people die from bombs sharing mine explosions and missile strikes. You get used to it. You just know that by the end of the month, several of your friends will have died, and by the end of a year, several dozen. By the end of the war, it'll be hundreds and hundreds. This is a kind of forced fatalism that is unavoidable in war. It quickly becomes part of each of us.

    We have indeed become used to the fact that war constantly takes away friends and relatives. This has become the grim norm of war time. We are so accustomed to it that we forget that death can come not only from bullets and shrapnel but also from cancer, heart attacks and accidents. And when such a non-war death suddenly intrudes into our difficult pain field lives, the usual psychological safeguards fail. We are turned to a different kind of pain. They are entirely focused on war, and so they don't help.

    A few weeks ago, my senior colleague, who had greatly helped me in my profession, died of a heart attack right at his workplace. He was an excellent specialist who knew everything or almost everything about Ukrainian politics. I used to invite him to my show every month and when we would discuss for a couple of hours more what we didn't have time to cover on air. After I joined the Army, I saw him only once- we met by chance in Kyiv when I came last year to receive an award from Zelensky.

    His death was a very heavy blow for me and it wasn't the last one. My colleague in journalism who is much younger than me, but from whom I have learned a lot. Was hospitalized with cancer in a stage that leaves almost no hope for recovery. I don't know, maybe it is somehow connected, but a few months ago, her boyfriend died in the war and she has significantly declined since then.

    Death has become routine, we get used to it, but nonetheless, it can still shock us. Because of all this news, I fell ill and for several weeks, could barely think clearly. Today I have prepared two links for you. The first is a new text about how Russian propaganda has painted Azov as Nazis, and the second is a video from my native Kharkiv. Read, watch and leave comments if you like it.

  • June 13th 2024

    Yuriy recounts 841 days of war, underscoring the invasion's intent to annihilate Ukraine entirely. He highlights the miscalculations of Russian forces and the continuing resilience and struggle of the Ukrainian people.

    https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/putin-the-miracle-worker-and-the

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

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    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It is June 13. I have been at war for 840 days. That's exactly 840 days more than anyone should ever have to spend at war. But in reality, I have no choice. None of the Ukrainians who went to war had a choice. It's now clear to everyone that this is a war of annhilation. For the Russians, the ultimate goal is not just seize part of Ukraine, but to completely destroy it. They have no other plans. The Russians thought it would be an easy and simple task, that they could annihilate Ukrainians, forcing some to give up their identity and executing others- in a matter of weeks. That Ukraine would be scared and surrender immediately.

    That was the calculation in 2022. It was supposed to be a blitzkrieg, A shockingly swift and successful operation for occupiers. Putin did not want a war; moreover, he did not believe it was even possible. In his mind, the destruction of Ukrainians was supposed to be walk in the park, something that would later be written about in history books as his unqualified triumph. I don't know if you've heard this, but the first burned columns of Russian equipment were filled with parade uniforms. The Russians, were preparing for a parade in Kyiv right from the start. They didn't expect any real resistance.

    War is very risky, full of unpredictable elements; there's reason we talk about the fog of war- the uncertainty that comes with it. That's why Putin did not intend to wage a war. He wanted to win without one, just by ratting his weapons and scaring the world. But it did not work out; the Russians had to fight. War- a large bloody war- has been our reality for. 841 days now for both us and we, and every day war becomes more significant in Russian politics. More important for them. Putin started it; he tried to control it, but now it increasingly controls him. That's exactly what I wrote about in my article for Substack.

    Read it and remember that the war has not gone anywhere. But Ukraine is fighting, but every day the best sons and daughters of our country are dying. And I want to warn you that this war is here for the long haul. These almost two and a half years of full scale fighting are, just the beginning, but more on that another time.

  • June 7th 2024

    Yuriy just finished his documentary film about the war and he shares some of the creative process and how he feels about it now.

    https://open.substack.com/pub/yuriymatsarsky/p/taliban-draft-dodgers-and-the-pillars?r=dzvo1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions) 

    It is June seven.

    When you listen to this episode, I will be at the prime year of my film. I have finished my documentary about a person who volunteered for the Army and died. In the credits I'm listed as a screenwriter, director, cameraman and editor. There are many things I don't like about this film; some things I would do differently now, some I would remove, some I would add, but it's still a film I am not ashamed of. It is compromised in many ways- I didn't have the opportunity to go everywhere I wanted. I didn't have the best cameras. I shoot with what I could afford myself. But I understand that probably none of the filmmakers, even the real ones, are ever 100% satisfied with what they have filmed.

    If this film becomes publicly available, I will share the link with you. Though, I'm not sure if you will find it interesting. However, I might be wrong. Maybe it's better to share all possible information about the war with the world so that people don't forget what's happening to us more precisely, not to forget, but not to become accustomed to the war. It seems to me that in the world, this war is already perceived as something usual, something to be accepted, but that's not the case.

    I want to counteract with habitation to war. I want to make sure that even now people understand what it is, terrible and wild, that there is nothing normal in war. I don't have many tools for this, only this podcast and my Substack page. I decided to make my texts there open to everyone. So read, share them, recommend them to your friends. If possible, subscribe to me on substack or donate on Go Fund Me or Buy Me A Coffee. This will help the creation of the new texts and episodes and in general, it'll support me. I still haven't recovered from the illness. The terrible stress simply destroyed my mind, and I'm piecing it back together bit by bit. So your support will be welcome, as always.

    I translated for you the text, what I wrote in Ukrainian a couple of weeks ago. Today it is published on Substack. Sorry, that my episodes are so short right now. It's really hard for me to make them longer and fuller at the moment. I hope this is temporary.

  • June 3rd 2024

    Yuriy recounts the harrowing daily bombings and assaults on his hometown of Kharkiv, sharing personal stories and reflections on the Russian invasion and its impact on his life and community. He has written a new substack on it, which subscribers can check out here: https://open.substack.com/pub/yuriymatsarsky/p/in-vain-expectation-of-betrayal-the?r=dzvo1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

    It is 3rd of June.

    While you listen to this story of mine, the Russians are bombing Kharkiv and launching wave after wave of their suicide assault troops against Ukrainian positions near it. Kharkiv is a very special city. It is located just a few dozen miles from the Russian border, and the Russians have always called it a "Russian city". All my life, as someone who was born and spent my childhood in Kharkiv, I heard this from them, "Oh, Kharkiv, that's a Russian city." This always infuriated me. Why did they decide that Kharkiv was theirs? Why did they feel the need to constantly emphasize this? I never understood.

    But this foolishness of theirs, the confidence that Russians live in Kharkiv saved the city from occupation at the beginning of the full scale invasion. My new text on Substack starts with exactly this- the failure of the Russians to capture Kharkiv, as they were convinced that they did not even need to capture it, that the residents would run to the occupiers themselves.

    Please read it; this text is very important to me. It's about my native and beloved city, which is now suffering from daily bombings, which the Russians are trying to destroy, simply because they no longer understand how else to fight. Read, comment there, suggest new topics. I am almost recovered, though I was once again on the brink of despair, and I am gradually returning to normal and can write again.

  • May 30th 2024

    Yuriy has written his first Substack post, it's an article he has talked about previously that an American outlet didn't want to publish. You can read it here: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/publish/post/145119038

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

    It is 30th of May.

    I'm sorry for a long silence. I'm going through a very difficult time right now. Several important people in my life have passed away or been killed, and I myself have fallen seriously ill. Only now do I have a strength to upload the first text on Substack and tell you about it.

    I mentioned it, this text in one over episodes. It was commissioned by an American editorial team, which later rejected it because it did not fit the worldview of media's leadership. This text is about Russian position and why it cannot be considered an a lie of Ukrainians. If you like it and want to delve deeper into the relations between Russians and the Ukrainians, they will prepare a new text for you on how the destruction of Ukraine has become a national idea for Russians. But first, I need to recover.

    And one more thing. This text is available to everyone for free, but when I will be forced to publish articles only for war who subscribe to me, I hope you will be interested.

  • May 24th 2024

    Yuriy has made a decision about the future of the podcast, and thanks you for all your messages of support as he has considered this decision...

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

    It is 24th of May.

    You know I'm not going to shut down the podcast. I received some very important messages from the listeners and realized how significant it is for people. The podcast no longer belongs to just me.

    I will start posting texts on Substack next week, and for some time I'll be using the podcast to explain these texts or add something to them. I don't feel strong enough morally to continue sharing detailed personal stories related to the war. However, if something very important happens, I will definitely talk about it.

    I hope this adjustment, which is likely temporary will help me get back on track a bit. I should say that most of the texts I plan to publish and discuss here are awesome about our war, but since I have already lived through and reflected on the events described in them, I hope it'll be a bit easier and less traumatic to talk about them.

    Once again, thank you all. Your support truly works wonders. See you next week.

  • May 22nd 2024

    Yuriy explains why it's so hard to continue making this podcast.

    Yuriy is considering ending the podcast and starting a new model. He wants to know what you think! Email him at [email protected] to let him know what you think.

    You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

      It's 22nd of May.

    I have to admit to you that every episode of this podcast is a deeply traumatic experience. Every time I write an episode, every time I record it, and every time I edit it, I relive all the horrible things I have to talk about. Every single damn time. It really hurts because I have to constantly remember things I wish had never happened. Remembering the deaths of friends, the captivity of those who served with me, with destruction, with pain, with tears, with countless people who can never be brought back, the time and the happiness stolen from us by the occupiers.

    It's very hard. And very painful. And also I do this in my free time. I don't get this time to distract myself from the pain and the war, but instead I dive back into them to make another episode. And each time it gets harder. A few months ago I gave up trying to make the podcast daily. I think I would have gone crazy if I had tried to keep it up that often. For a while it helped me a bit doing it once, maybe twice a week was easier than four or five times a week.

    But it turned out that it was not a solution. It's painful and hard and each time. I force myself to record the podcast. I don't really understand why should I continue to force myself to do it. I used to feel that I was making at least some impact on the general opinion abroad, but now I realize that this impact is very small, barely noticeable, really. I used to be able to tell myself, yes, it's hard, but it's not in vain- thanks to the podcast, you can pay for your daughter's education and help your parents, but that has long ceased to be true. I am very, very grateful to those who still support me, but I have to admit that this money has not been enough for a long time. So I'm torturing myself almost for free.

    I'm very grateful to those who have sent me suggestions for improving the podcast. They are wonderful and interesting, but I just don't see a way to make them work in a way that fulfills any of the goals for which the podcast was started. I'm afraid I won't be able to make them generate income, maintain my skills as a journalist and be interested for foreign listeners. I'm sure that in any other situation, I would grab unto these suggestions and at least try to do something with them.

    But now I'm very emotionally exhausted and simply unable to radically change the project. I am truly trying to save it. It is very dear to me, but it seems that I just don't have best strength for it. I'm so sorry. I really think only a miracle can save this project.

  • May 21st 2024

    The Russians are mindlessly destroying the Northern Kharkiv region with artillery, targeting a settlement of Chernobyl survivors. Yuriy expresses deep hatred towards those who continue to bring suffering to innocent Ukrainians.

    Yuriy is considering ending the podcast and starting a new model. He wants to know what you think! Email him at [email protected] to let him know what you think.

    You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

    It is May 21.

    The Russians are now destroying the Northern Kharkiv region. They are simply mindlessly demolishing everything with the reach of via artillery. There is no military sense in this. It's some kind of primal hatred towards Ukraine and Ukrainians. A wild desire to kill everyone they can. Among the villages and towns that are under constant shelling, there is a settlement of people who almost died earlier due to Moscow's actions, and now Moscow is trying to kill them again.

    In this settlement live families who were relocated in 1986 after the Chernobyl nuclear power plant disaster. Their homes were right in the path of a deadly cloud that rose from a destroyed reactor. People living nearby were forbidden to take with them not only their personal belongings, but even their pets. Even their clothing was destroyed after the evacuation, as it was highly radioactive. So people started their lives completely from scratch with nothing left of their past, except memories. And all of this is due to Moscow's actions.

    The fact is that the personnel at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant had sufficient expertise and clear instructions to prevent the catastrophic. They knew what to do to ensure it never happened. But the Moscow officials who didn't understand a thing about nuclear energy, but considered themselves superior in everything forbade acting according to the instructions. And the frightened plant workers who feared the Moscow officials more than nuclear accident did. as they were ordered and thus occurred the worst nuclear disaster in human history.

    Those who survived the disaster and their descendants are now being killed by people who also fear the Moscow authorities more than anything else in the world. This fear makes them perfect executors of senseless and criminal actions. How else could you force a person to leave everything at home, go to another country and kill peaceful strangers there? Only by intimidating them with the idea that the authorities will be displeased if it is not done. You know, they fear death less when displeasing way superiors. It's easy for them to die, abandoned by their own comrades on minefield from wounds, and first, when to simply refuse to go and kill people.

    This is some mysterious phenomenon, a mystical darkness that has engulfed a huge country and turned millions of people into frightened killers or equally frightened silent accomplices of killers. But their fear does not justify them. These shitbags bring so much suffering, take so many lives, that neither way nor way children will ever be able to wash off the blood of innocent people who were killed just because they were Ukrainians. I really, really hate them. You have no idea how much.

  • May 16th 2024

    Yuriy is considering ending the podcast and starting a new model. He wants to know what you think! Email him at [email protected] to let him know what you think.

    You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

    It is May 16, and it seems to me that this podcast is coming to an end. It emerged two years ago with three main goals: to keep listeners informed about what's happening in Ukraine, to maintain my journalistic skills, and to earn money for my parents and daughter. Initially, everything worked and was genuinely interesting and useful. Now, after two years, I have serious doubts about the project's continued variability.

    The whole world already understand what is really happening in Ukraine. The terrible price we are paying fighting the war against Russian invaders and the extent of our losses. I simply have nothing more to add to this, I have already told everything I could. There are, of course, many other interesting things that I haven't shared, but I won't share them, even in the future, because they could be useful to the enemy or could hurt the feelings of people around me. I don't want that at all. So in reality, I've already told you everything I could.

    It's no longer feasible to continue the podcast and keep myself in shape as a journalist, simply because I can't. I just don't have the right to tell much of what I know. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me. To find something new and interesting that I could talk about without harming our cause. I'm forced to repeat myself and sometimes say banal things. Obviously this does not embellish me as a journalist, but I'm no longer just a journalist. I am a soldier, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to return to my old profession although, of course I would really like to.

    The monetization, that initially helped me, indeed, it saved my parents in the early weeks of the war, allowed me to pay for warehouse and medical care, ensure that my daughter was provided with everything she needed and allowed me to buy the necessary equipment for myself. This monetization has almost disappeared. Listeners are transferring less and less money.

    So everything that this podcast started for has been exhausted, at least it seems so to me. That's why I'm considering ending it. I don't want to completely break with journalism, so I want to move to the Substack platform where I plan to publish new texts weekly, perhaps sometimes more often, and also add old ones about the Middle East, for example, what have never been published in English before. This could be interesting and probably a bit easier for me.

    In this episode description, there is an email where you can send your thoughts and wishes, regard the future of the podcast. Maybe you have ideas on how to make it relevant, interesting, and profitable again, or perhaps you have other advices. Write it to me. Within a week until next Friday, I will make a decision. On what to do with this project. Close it and move on, or try to breathe new life into it? Help me decide.

  • May 14th 2024

    Yuriy humorously reveals his struggles in readjusting to civilian life, leading to a comical mishap with his jeans.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

  • May 10th 2024

    Yuriy illustrates the challenging journey of a veteran struggling to navigate the complexities of ordinary life after years of intense military service.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

    It is May 10.

    Have you ever returned from vacation to work and could not remember what to do? It seems to me that it's a quirk of the brain- it quickly forgets even the most important things under the influence of emotions, and just a few days are enough to forget what seemed completely familiar. Now imagine that you did not go on vacation, but to war, not for a week, but for several years with emotions so powerful and overwhelming that they literally override everything you've experienced before. How do you then return to normal life, what to do to regain, not only work skills, but even everyday ones? Honestly, I don't know.

    But I do know for sure that's exactly what happens- a person practically forgets what ordinary life is and how to exist in it. I've already mentioned that the specifics of a driving a car on the front line are in no way the same as driving in ordinary life. On the front line, no one would ever think of fastening seat belts because in case of coming under fire and serious damage to a vehicle, you need to leave the car as quickly as possible, and seat belts hinder that. On the front line, no one uses turn signals; everyone drives at the maximum possible speed. There is no chance of accidentally running over pedestrian or crash into a bus at a stop. And you quickly get used to this frontline driving style, almost instantly forgetting how to drive in other conditions. And when you have leave or vacation and you with your new skills, find yourself in the city and you drive there as if for the first time, constantly reminding yourself to use turn signals, keep distance, not exit speed. And it's really hard.

    Let me take a moment from this conversation to thank those who write me messages with words of support and those who donate money to my Go Fund Me and Buy Me A Coffee pages. I'm still holding on. Thanks to you.

    Okay, back to it. I remember coming home for the first time after a few weeks in the Army. I was given a day to rest a bit and to clean my clothes. And here's the second task, I almost failed. I simply could not remember how to use the washing machine. My own washing machine, which I turned on almost every day for at least five years. I did it automatically without even looking, but just a few weeks in the Army, a few weeks of heavy stress, unfamiliar, powerful emotions, and that's all. The skill that was once automatic, vanished without a trace.

    I forgot how to use ATMs, forgot how to pay bills for electricity and heating. My language changed dramatically. Many previously common wars simply disappeared because were unnecessary in the Army, but new ones appeared, which belong to military life. And they've become so ingrained in me that I use them even when it's completely inappropriate.

    You know, there are hundreds of thousands of people like me out there now. People who have forgotten how to live ordinary lives, who have become unaccustomed to simple things, who find it difficult just to be among civilians to communicate with them. I have a big request for you- don't laugh at the veterans who can't do things that seem simple and obvious to everyone else. In reality, war makes everything complicated and difficult. Several years in active duty completely changed a person. But even changed by constant stress, forged by heavy experience, a human being still remains a human being.

  • May 8th 2024

    Yuriy delves into the modern tactics of propaganda and the dangerous ideologies fueling the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine. Unveiling the twisted narratives and sinister intentions, he warns of the growing threat posed by the resurgence of fascism in a world on the brink of chaos.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

      It is May 8th.

    Today is the 79th anniversary of the end of Second World War in Europe. For many years, it was celebrated as the day when fascism was defeated. But I have some bad news for you. Fascism is alive and kicking and even has plans on you and your home countries. Maybe you still have not noticed it, but it's only because this modern fascism is dressed in a propaganda attire designed to deceive you.

    Because there are no two things more dissimilar than, Russian propaganda aimed at foreigners and Russian propaganda aimed at its own Russian audience. What do Russians tell Europeans, Americans, Asians, and others? That Russia is peaceful, wonderful country full of spirituality, holiness and grace, and that evil Ukrainians have concocted deceitful plans to spoil this holiness and grace forcing Russians to start killing Ukrainians and destroying entire cities just to save themselves. It's idiocy, but many believe in it otherwise, they would have to face the horrific reality and acknowledge that it's an unjust war aimed at destroying an entire nation.

    What does propaganda tell Russians themselves? It's also a celebration of idocy, but of a completely different kind. Everyday television convinces Russians that Ukrainians are traitors trying to switch sides to the godless West, instead of fighting alongside Russians against this west. Newspapers write about it, films are made and thousands of books are written. Armies of propagandists talk about how Ukraine should not exist, that that state should only be an outpost for the future war against the West. But Ukrainians are actually Russians confused by the West. and they need to be brought back to become the vanguard of Russian army during its invasion of Europe.

    And they are that serious about it. They are preparing to fight the whole world and want Ukrainians to join them, and not just join, but consciously and joyfully. The war against the West has become the main ideology of Russians, their religion, their God, and they sincerely don't understand why Ukrainians don't want to worship this god and march with Russians to conquer Berlin and Paris. While various politicians in the West talk about how to negotiate better with the Russians, the Russians themselves almost without hiding it are making plans to destroy entire countries in the West. And they lament that were forced to spend time and afford storming small villages in the Donbas instead of Brussels and London.

    Ukrainians have no place whatsoever in the new religion of the Russians. We either have to become Russians and join the army or be destroyed together with the West, perceived as the main enemy to Russia. That's it. There are no other options. If I were are in the shoes of wars making decisions in the West, I would listen to all these Russian stories. They fantasize about conquering Europe dream of destroying the USA and openly talk about it. Prepare for the worst, these maniacs won't stop just like that. Perhaps at some point we might decide that taking Warsaw or Prague could be easier when capturing Kharkiv or Odessa and turn their war efforts towards you.

  • May 3rd 2024

    Yuriy heads to a frontline combat zone, where he captures a day in the life of the relentless battles, moments of respite in a peaceful town, and the stark realization of the thin line separating wartime chaos from everyday normalcy.

    You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family

    Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy

    Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat

    ----more----

    TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)

    It is 3rd of May.

    Full scale war in Ukraine has been ongoing for exactly 800 days now. These are 800 days of pain, despair, unbearable suffering, and incredible heroism. The Russians intended to conquer us within a month to subjugate and then destroy us. We've been resistant for a third year now and have no intention of surrendering.

    Now, let me tell you a story that I find fitting to share on this bloody anniversary while you take a look at the description of this podcast there are GoFundMe and Buy Me A Coffee details to help me and my loved ones. Remember, the only monetization of this podcast is your support, which is always necessary and always welcome. Thank you.

    So the story, I spent some time with a unit holding positions on one over hot sports over front the guys' positions were in a semi destroyed building a few hundred meters from the Russian invaders. The battles there were constant; five people who could fit into this building fired several crates of ammunition and RPG shots per day. Every two days, the fighters were replaced. The exhausted five in the early morning while it was still dark, left the position and fresh five soldiers loaded with crates of ammunition, took over the position and began fighting the Russians.

    Those who were replaced, got into a Jeep and drove to rest. They had two days to recover and return to hell. They rested in a regular country house on the outskirts of a small town. From the positions where bloody battles raged, it took only 30 to 40 minutes to drive to this house no more, and it was truly impressive. Here you are in a ruined settlement, much of which has already been ceased by the Russians, where you can only move stealthily, where the gunfire never ceases for a second and just a half an hour's drive, you are in a town where cafes work, where a supermarket where people are busy with some ordinary things working: going on dates, buying ice cream for their kids.

    Shells from Russian artillery don't reach this town, so it leaves relatively peaceful despite the fact that the battles are region very close to it. Relatively peaceful because there are no longer any cities or towns in Ukraine where the Russians could not reach. We wear ballistic missiles. A shell from a howtizer can fly 30 miles and that's it. A missile flies thousands of miles and it's very difficult to intercept. But that's a story for another time. Now, it's about the guys who rested in an almost peaceful town and returned to the war hell every few days.

    I will probably never forget the feeling that struck me when I rode with them in the dark to their positions. At first, we drove along a well lit street surrounded by billboards of pizzerias and Japanese cafes. The guys in the Jeep joked and laughed, but as soon as we left the town, the jokes stopped. The street lights disappeared, and the road became worse and worse- heavy military vehicles going back and forth had destroyed it. Soon the driver turned off the headlights and drove in the dark, as if guided by some sixth sense as if he were a Jedi, who felt the way even when he could not see it. If the headlights were left on the enemy would see us and try to hit us with fire from mortars and heavy machine guns. In an un armored Jeep, that would be certain death.

    The last few hundred meters of the journey we covered on food hiding the Jeep in a small ravine. We reached the positions unloaded ammunition and replaced it with soldiers who had been there for the past two days.

    You know, it's unbearably difficult to sit on the fire, literally under the enemy's nose, and know that only half an hour separates you from ordinary, normal life. But if you don't sit there on the fire, don't hold positions right under the enemy's nose where won't be any normal life, where won't be life at all.