Afleveringen
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Submarines. They’re like whales, but not as majestic and far more likely to destroy innocent boats, at least this century. Submarines are nice because when you’ve run out of terrestrial and aerial space to put explosives they offer a convenient new arena in which to store devices of unimaginable destruction. I’m referring to nuclear-armed submarines, and it’s not hard to imagine that, in times of crisis, different people crewing these vessels will have different ideas on how to run things. I’m not just talking about the human fallibility that we’re supposed to assume somehow doesn’t apply to those in charge of these weapons, I’m talking about the 1995 submarine thriller Crimson Tide directed by Tony Scott. This successful action movie landed well with critics and audiences, but the crotchety hosts of Magellans at the Movies are not so easy to impress. What will they say about all the underwater action? Turn the launch key and let’s dive, dive, dive in to find out!
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It’s hard to be a teenager. Your body betrays you, society doesn’t trust you, your parents don’t understand you, and in the midst of all of this you’re asked to stake out an identity for yourself that may well last for the rest of your life. This can, of course, go quite wrong, and what may have been a fully functioning, contributing member of society can end up the kind of person who goes to Magic the Gathering tournaments and/or moderates a subreddit. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, however, and sometimes what you need to steady the ship is a nice long detention with your peers. For proof of this, look no further than the success story of The Breakfast Club as seen in the 1985 dramedy film of the same name. The Breakfast Club is a stone-cold classic of teen drama positively shot through with legendary quotes and moments, and today the Magellans at the Movies will be evaluating it all for your benefit(?). You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nathan saved my life and I owe him a life debt, but at least it means I get to hear his lovely podcast every week and so do you!
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Australia, the land of the blue ringed octopus, the funnel web spider, the vicious drop bear, and the accent you're convinced you can nail, but in fact commit a hate crime every time you try it. The land down under can be a dangerous place, which is probably why nine out of ten viewers of Mad Max: Fury Road, a 2015 action film directed by George Miller, can't tell if it's a documentary or not. I'm exaggerating, of course, Australia is a vibrant place with plenty of lovely people, and a thriving film industry to boot, of which you will be immediately convinced upon first viewing of today's movie. Fury Road was popular with audiences and critics, nabbed a few Oscar noms, and has retired to a life of acclaim and frequent high placings on best-of lists. Magellans at the Movies are partial to it as well, which they will now demonstrate on today's brand new episode! What a lovely podcast!
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Vroom, vroom! Neeeeeooooowww, eeeeeeeeeeaaaa, KA-BOOM! Oh, excuse me, I didn’t see you there. I was just playing with my toy cars. It’s childish, I know, and I’ve been looking for a more mature, adult hobby to satisfy my love of speed and loud noises. I know what can help me: racing real cars! Faster speeds, louder noises, tackier sponsorships! I’m being harsh, of course, there’s more to racing than base level sensory pleasures and obnoxious McDonald’s stickers, and if you don’t believe me, just look at Ford V. Ferrari, a 2019 racing movie directed by James Mangold and based on the true story of Carol Shelby and Ken Miles. Ford V. Ferrari was an Oscar nominated film and a smash hit with middle aged dads everywhere to boot, but does its appeal extend beyond that demographic? Today we’ll be finding out by presenting it to Nathan and Elliot Magalhães, who are only middle aged dads in spirit, on the latest episode of their own smash hit product: Magellans at the Movies! Their names are Nathan and Elliot; they review movies.
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Consider the bicycle. Two wheels in a thin, metal frame, an uncomfortable seat, and a rusting bell to you, but to children, there once was a time when it represented freedom limited only by your lung capacity, and sometimes not even that could put a stop to a young boy or girl’s afternoon rides. Bikes aren’t just good for reminding you how much you’ve grown (in every direction, for some of us), they’re practically infused with nostalgia for those of us who grew up putting rubber to asphalt (or gravel, as the case was with the Magellans), and I know that if I had lost my bike as a youngster, I would have braved convicts, ghosts, and yes, even people who are super into French stuff, to recover it. Thankfully, I never had to endure those nightmares, but there was one 80s hero of kids’ entertainment and future weirdo who did: Pee-Wee Herman as seen in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, a 1985 family comedy directed by Tim Burton. Pee-Wee’s reputation is, uh, let’s say tarnished these days, but Tim Burton’s certainly is hanging in there, which is why Nathan and Elliot decided to go right back to the beginning to evaluate his first outing. What’s the episode like, you ask? Well it sounds . . . like this!
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Hollywood has had a starring role in many of the productions it nursed to life. Be it the romantic ideal featured in The Fabelmans, the more wistfully realistic stylings of La La Land, or the caustic satire of Hail, Caesar!, tinsel town has come in for its fair share of knocks as well as odes over the years, but few quite like the 2001 film Mulholland Drive, a baffling slice of the bizarre by the sultan of surrealism and favorite director of insufferable hipsters everywhere David Lynch. Mulholland Drive has a reputation for being hard to parse out, but that hasn’t stopped it from accumulating ever more acclaim in the decades since its release, and with tributes to the cinema of the late Lynch pouring in, Nathan and Elliot thought it would be the perfect time to cynically exploit Lynch’s notoriety with a review. Are you dreaming? Are you dead? Doesn’t matter, in the land of the living or the domain of the dead you can always count on Magellans at the Movies!
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If I may be the seventeenth person on the internet today to tell you: the MCU is on the ropes right now. Box office returns, critical scores, and audience affections are all trending south and something tells me burly CGI Han Solo isn’t going to turn things around. So what’s a concerned moviegoer to do? Attempt to find something else to watch by exploring deeper into the past and present cinematic catalogue and supporting new ideas? Heck no! The answer, of course, is to write mean YouTube comments and just kind of, wait for things to change. If, while you’re doing so, you should feel nostalgic for the glory days of Marvel films, you may wish to return to where it all began with Iron Man, a 2008 comic book movie directed by Jon Faverau. Before the MCU could paper over its lesser entries with the promise of new tidbits about upcoming events, Iron Man had to muscle into the public consciousness by dint of its own merits, which it did with aplomb. Iron Man was a smash hit with critics and audiences alike and stuffed enough money in enough pockets to draw the lidless, flaming eye of Disney, but that’s a story for another day. For now, it’s enough to rewatch Iron Man alongside your favorite podcast: Magellans at the Movies! Suit up and lock in, let’s go!
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Oil. Whether it’s powering war machines, spilling into the oceans, or drowning you in a dream, black gold doesn’t exactly have the best public image. But how can that be, I hear you ask, when oil is extracted by such upstanding gentlemen? Why, not two weeks ago I was told by a charming magnate and titan of industry that oil brings wealth to everyone around it, and that our community was sure to benefit from his new drilling project! Ah, my dear, innocent reader, it sounds to me as if you’ve been taken in by the charismatic but deceptive oil baron Daniel Plainview as seen in There Will Be Blood, a 2007 period character study directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. There Will Be Blood made a big, oily splash when it released, enjoying critical acclaim, numerous awards nominations, and a respectable chunk of change as a reward for its dramatic study of greed and misanthropy, and if you find yourself being dazzled by the performative folksiness of men like him, it may be just the wake up call you need to protect the integrity of your neighborhood. Guard your milkshakes and get to church, it’s time to start the episode!
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Who knows what lurks out in the near infinite darkness of space? Giant glowing babies? People with funny eyebrows and no emotions? A large, angry, purple dude with a love of handwear? These are just some of the options proposed by the long, rich history of science fiction films, some more pessimistic than others, but few more likely to put the brakes on a young child’s dreams of becoming an astronaut than the terror of Alien, a 1979 science fiction horror movie directed by Ridley Scott. Alien memorably incorporates an industrialism-fused vision of the future alongside the uncanny stylings of Swiss artist, and the worst possible choice to teach a sex-ed class, H.R. Giger to the delight of audiences for decades since its release. What say the Magellans at the Movies to this horror classic? That, my dear reader, is the subject of today’s episode. In space no one can hear you stream, so you can listen to Magellans at the Movies without fear of derision from your colleagues, what a deal!
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Ah, to be alive in the 90s. A time when you could bathe in the glory of early Simpsons episodes, salute the progress being made in equality and democracy across the globe, and violate the structural integrity of your hair and still be accepted in polite society. To be honest, the 90s wasn’t too shabby of a decade for the human race, especially when it comes to movies. For those of us born into the chaos and uncertainty of the twenty-first century, it may be difficult to parse through all the films released in the last decade of the twentieth, but that’s why we have podcasts like Magellans at the Movies! That’s right, folks, continuing in their stroll backwards through the many years of film history, Nathan and Elliot will today be hashing out the official Magellans at the Movies top ten films of the nineties. How much overlap will there be in their lists? Does Jurassic Park stand a chance? What will the final product look like? The answers to all these questions and more await you in our brand-new episode! Let’s listen in! Contact us/Requests/Questions: [email protected]
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2024 hasn’t been a red letter year for the human race. War, polarization, and despair are all on the rise, and 2025 isn’t exactly set up for success. Fortunately, entertainment continues to be the number one doctor recommended band aid for your all consuming existential dread, and the past year has been generous with the quantity, if not necessarily the quality, of distraction. 2024 saw the rise of Glen Powell and Sydney Sweeney into stardom, the passing of a few Hollywood legends like James Earl Jones and Donald Sutherland, the explosion of AI, and the comic book movie remains in a cruel, agonizing state of artificially prolonged life as studios continue to invest and lose money in the dying genre in hopes of reviving its glory days. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the news and choices, however, let the Magellans at the Movies sort it out for you into a few convenient lists of the best and worst of 2024! Happy new year and let’s get it started with a bang!
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As 2024 breathes its last, wintry breaths and minds turn towards all the resolutions that need prompt breaking, let us take a moment to draw near to loved ones, be they romantic or platonic, and reflect on the rock upon which the Hallmark church has been built. What is it to love? What virtue is there in affection? What does it demand of us? Think on these questions and deepen your understanding of what the Greeks referred to as agápē, érōs, philía, philautía, storgē, and xenía. If that all sounds too hard, however, just pop Love Actually in and call it a day. While less enlightening than an in-depth philosophical journey, the watching of Richard Curtis’ 2003 holiday rom-com is by far the more popular option, and it’s not hard to see why. Love Actually hails from a different era of film, when cinema was more sincere and postmodernist irony was only just beginning to rise from its infernal cradle. High art it is not, but it’s the kind of undemanding, sugary treat that greets life optimistically and with a corny joke or two- aaaaand Elliot’s out. I jest, of course, no one yet knows what the moviegoing Magellans think of this movie, but that’s all about to change on today’s new episode! If you want to use the podcast as cover while you declare your love to your best friend’s wife, we won’t judge you (much), but make sure you rewind to the start and listen to the whole thing after you’ve finished betraying your buddy’s trust. Contact us/Requests/Questions: [email protected]
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Everyone knows that zombies aren’t what they used to be. If anything, a decaying, shambolic corpse is probably the perfect metaphor for the genre as it exists right now: decrepit, feeble, and limping slowly towards nowhere in particular. There was a time, however, when zombie fiction was almost as popular as movie westerns were in their day, and that time, of course, was the early 2000s, inarguably the worst period of culture since the 1510s (your poetry sucks, Henry VIII). That’s not necessarily to say that zombie media was a reason for that decade’s irritating obsession with film grain and infuriating hatred for colors that are not gray, but it may go some way towards explaining why, as aesthetic tastes shifted, certain genres like comic book films or crime fiction survived the jump while zombies did not. Zombie stories, after all, are pretty gray, grainy affairs that aren’t built for much tonal variation, with the notable exception of Shaun of the Dead, a horror-comedy zombie flick directed by Edgar Wright. Shaun of the Dead is remembered fondly by many viewers for its humorous take on the walking dead, but how fondly will Nathan and Elliot look on it? That, my friend, is the question we set out to answer today on our brand new episode. Grab a pint, throw on your headphones, and wait for this whole thing to blow over with the soothing tones of your favorite hosts. Contact us/Requests/Questions: [email protected]
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Power, oh man don’t you wish you just had some? Power, in whatever form be it political, cultural, or laser eyes, gives you access to neat stuff like respect, authority, and cheat codes to the legal system. Even in lower stakes arenas like the professional music scene power can unlock lots of doors for you, many of them leading to places of murky ethics. I’m not just talking about forcing your orchestra to play the alphabet song for laughs, though, I’m referring to far more serious misdeeds like forming inappropriate relationships and handing out favors to your allies. That, at least, is how the eponymous conductor of Tár, Todd Field’s 2022 psychological drama, chooses to wield her influence. Tár is one of those movies that got rave reviews from critics, a strong response from audiences, and decent results at the box office before winning an award or two and settling in for the long descent into obscurity. Before the film is forgotten, however, it will be brought before the Magellans at the Movies for its final analysis. Don’t feel the need to enter into a questionable relationship with us if you want to be a part of it, though, just press the play button and then afterwards maybe we can have lunch and talk about your future here? Just think it over, there’s a lot of benefits to being in our good graces, you know. Contact us/Requests/Questions: [email protected]
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Everyone needs friends to get through life, that’s why I’m so miserable all the time. Friends lift us up when we’re low and congratulate us when we’re high (or give us a ride home). Fickle friends, best friends, old friends, new friends, the varieties of companions are endless, but what happens when one of those friends decides to dissolve their partnership and go their separate ways to the great confusion and dismay of the other party? Why, then you would have most of the plot of The Banshees of Inisherin, a 2022 darkly comedic drama directed by Martin McDonagh. Banshees was a critical darling and serious Oscar contender in its day, but we all know the Academy Awards are small potatoes these days, the real prestige comes from earning a strong review from Magellans at the Movies. Has this bleak tale of lonely hearts and petty strife earned itself just such acclaim? Well just shush-like and start the episode to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: [email protected]
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If you like dysentery, the old west is for you. If you like filth, the old west is for you. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to live utterly at the mercy of the elements and corrupt lawmen while you work your tenant field of sorghum for two cents a day that you can spend on bathtub whiskey at the local saloon, then your only option is to somehow travel back in time to live in the old west. Or move to Texas. For the rest of us, however, we’re generally content to see all that unpleasantness from afar on the silver screen, which is why they make so many movies about the American frontier, but none quite like Bone Tomahawk, a 2015 western/horror directed by S. Craig Zahler. This gritty genre blend wasn’t much commercially, but garnered plenty of praise critically, which meant that it was only a matter of time before western fan Elliot watched and subsequently forced his brother to do the same. Now that both brothers have taken it in, what do they think? The only way to find out is by starting the episode, so before you amputate your gangrenous leg, maybe take the edge off with an exciting new installment of Magellans at the Movies!
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There truly is nothing like crime to bring a family together. Why are criminal organizations organized by families? Why do family businesses that get big also commit massive fraud? The answer is obvious: taking stuff that doesn’t belong to you is just the spit shine that your fraying familial ties are in need of. After all, it’s by embezzling listener donations that Elliot and Nathan fund their wild weekends in Vegas, and thereby foster the close sibling bond that makes this program what it is. Don’t just take my word for it, though, take it from the true intellectuals of modern society: movie directors! Specifically, director Hirokazu Koreeda’s 2018 family drama Shoplifters. This is one of those movies that people effusively praise at parties in lieu of developing a personality, and which of our favorite hosts will be effusively praising the film, I wonder? Only one way to find out, so grab that pomegranate and make a beeline for the exit so you can listen to the episode in the comfort of your own home rather than the cold austerity of a jail cell.
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As the month of wraiths draws to a close and we all look forward to the far calmer, gentler event of the American election day, stay just a little bit longer in the spooky season with Magellans at the Movies. And what better way to commemorate the holiday of Halloween than reviewing the 1978 John Carpenter directed slasher film for which it was named? This is the movie that popularized the masked, reticent killer stalking teenagers and offing them one by one, so if that structure appeals to you, you’ve almost certainly seen it before. Even those of us who find less favor in the dramatized suffering of our fellow man are likely to have enjoyed Halloween, or at least its influence, once or twice in our lives, so before the world gets cheerful with the anticipation of Christmas, get fearful with the dread of what may be lurking in the shadows in your room . . . Everyone’s entitled to one good podcast, no matter the time of year, so let’s get started with ours!
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To be a spy is to live in the terrible knowledge that some day, somehow, someone is going to get a bizarre and destructive notion in their head to blow up the sun so that their coal stocks increase in worth or something. Thankfully, the brave men and women of the world’s intelligence agencies train every day for just such occasions, but have you ever wondered how it all gets started? Have you ever wanted to see the making of a classically British gentleman spy? Your answers to those questions may go some way towards predicting how you will respond to Kingsman: The Secret Service, a 2014 spy action movie directed by Matthew Vaughn. Kingsman is, indeed, the story of a young man’s forming into a Bond-esque super spy so he can stop a dastardly plot only slightly less ridiculous than destroying the sun. Kingsman was popular enough to spawn a franchise that is with us to this day, so clearly most people will answer in the affirmative to the aforementioned questions, but what say the hosts of Magellans at the Movies? That’s what we’re here to find out, so slip on your suit and lace up those Oxfords for another suave episode!
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