Afleveringen
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*Unlock the Secrets of Career Survival in Your 30s*
Join us for our most honest conversation yet! As we navigate the challenges of work, one question looms large: What happens when you hit 35? For many, this milestone feels like a career curse—limiting opportunities and sparking existential dread.
In this episode, we delve into the heart of the issue with expert insights from Michael, who shares the employer's perspective, and Danni and Linsey, who explore it from the employee's side. Together, they tackle the tough questions: Should you move up, down, or simply adapt to the changing landscape? What's the easiest psychological switch that can change everything to the brighter??
This topic is so crucial that we've divided it into two parts. Tune in now to discover how to break free from the constraints of age and forge a path forward in your career.
Key Takeaways:
· Explore the challenges faced by employees over 35
· Understand the employer's perspective on age and career growth
· Learn trending psychological strategies for navigating career transitions with confidence
Join the conversation and find out what's next for you in your thirties and beyond!
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Unlock the Secrets of Career Survival in Your 30s
Join us for our most honest conversation yet! As we navigate the challenges of work, one question looms large: What happens when you hit 35? For many, this milestone feels like a career curse—limiting opportunities and sparking existential dread.
In this episode, we delve into the heart of the issue with expert insights from Michael, who shares the employer's perspective, and Danni and Linsey, who explore it from the employee's side. Together, they tackle the tough questions: Should you move up, down, or simply adapt to the changing landscape? What's the easiest psychological switch that can change everything to the brighter??
This topic is so crucial that we've divided it into two parts. Tune in now to discover how to break free from the constraints of age and forge a path forward in your career.
Key Takeaways:
• Explore the challenges faced by employees over 35
• Understand the employer's perspective on age and career growth
• Learn trending psychological strategies for navigating career transitions with confidence
Join the conversation and find out what's next for you in your thirties and beyond! -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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但凡是涉及到“人性”的话题总是很难聊个清清楚楚，这一期节目我们邀请了学哲学的Shen Lee来聊一聊友谊。大部分时候我们聊到友谊都会去聊自己付出多少，而一些有毒的朋友是多么的不懂珍惜，而这次我们聊的是：面对变化，多年相处的朋友也可能会分道扬镳，面对巨大的沉没成本，我们又该如何调整心态？这一期节目里，Danni和Shen Lee讲出了关于友谊的一些真相，也引导我们向内求，更多看到自己的需求，因为内心秩序的稳定会帮助我们更好的理清很多外部世界的人际关系。我们需要面对自己的真相，也要有面对离别的勇气。Shen Lee在节目结束后，写了一篇关于这个话题的千字文章，我们会在节目介绍里附录一部分，具体内容就请去Shen Lee的主页查看吧！
“Topics involving ‘human nature’ are always difficult to discuss clearly, and in this episode, we invited Shen Lee, a philosophy student, to talk about friendship. Most of the time when we discuss friendship, we focus on how much we’ve given and how some toxic friends fail to appreciate us. But this time, we talk about change—how friends who have been in our lives for many years can drift apart. With the huge emotional investments we’ve made, how should we adjust our mindset? In this episode, Danni and Shen Lee share some truths about friendship, guiding us to look inward and recognize our own needs. A stable inner order helps us better navigate our relationships in the external world. We need to face our own truths and have the courage to embrace separation. After the episode, Shen Lee wrote a thousand-word article on this topic, which we’ll include a portion of in the episode description. For the full article, please visit Shen Lee’s homepage!”
Shen Lee’s Douyin ID: HakujoShinn
The elucidation of the notion of friendship is a multifaceted endeavor, fraught with challenges. Attempting to analyze or interpret the concept of friendship through the lens of cognitive models shaped by contemporary social realities frequently leads to extreme conclusions.For instance, some contend that friendship is nonexistent, while others assert that it is merely an emotional byproduct entwined in interpersonal relationships and propelled by shared interests. However, if a phenomenon manifests extreme characteristics without leading to its own demise, it can be posited that this extremity may be an illusion, an outcome of distorted or influenced cognition, shaped by a pessimistic imagination of its origins.In other words, the belief that friendship is illusory or merely an emotional attachment stems from an unconscious but deliberate form of self consolation, a preemptive choice designed to mitigate potential disappointment and protect one's mental well being. This predetermined pessimism enables individuals who experience betrayal in friendship to rationalize their pain by convincing themselves that every occurrence has a purpose.
想要理清楚友誼的意義，絕對不是一件簡單輕鬆的事情。如果以目前已有的社會現實所搭載的認知模式去拆解或解讀「友誼」，我們通常只能得到一些相對極端的答案，例如：友誼並不存在，或者友誼只是一種盤踞在人際關係之下、圍繞於利益相關的情感附屬品。
但是，假若一個事物及其伴隨而生的現象呈現出極端，卻沒有走向滅亡，那就意味著這一事物及其顯現的極端一面，可能只是一種假象——一種因為認知被影響，甚至被異化後，所產生的自我悲觀想象。換句話來說，大多數人之所以認為友誼是虛無縹緲的、只是一種泛情感下的附屬品，是因為人們不自知卻有意識地進行了一種自我安慰式、甚至想象式的選擇。其目的在於放下自己的期望，預設一個更有利於自我精神狀態不受戕害的糟糕結果。在這被預設出的糟糕結果庇護下，人們即便遭受友誼的背叛，仍能以理性的方式說服自己——一切都是命定的。
However, this self deceptive approach does not constitute a method in the true sense of the term at least not in the sense of an effective prevention or alleviation of the pain of friendship's betrayal. On the contrary, it serves only to deepen and engrave the wounds. In order to truly understand the nature of friendship, or more precisely, its relationship with each individual, it is necessary to circumvent these preset notions and avoid the socially constructed, distorted perspectives that confine our thinking.
然而，這種借由想象式預設來為自我解脫的方法，實際上並不能稱之為一種有效的方法。至少，這所謂的方法並不能真正解決或預防友誼背叛所帶來的傷害，反而會加深創傷。想要理清友誼的本質，或者更準確地說，理清友誼與我們每個個體之間的關係，我們就必須繞開這些預設，更要避開一些被社會現實異化的普遍認知及其衍生的思維邏輯。
A frequently discussed question can serve as an effective entry point in this examination: when we contemplate the essence of friendship whether it exists and what its relationship is with ourselves and others why not first examine another common inquiry about friendship? Specifically: can true, platonic friendship exist between men and women? People typically provide two polarizing answers to this question: "Yes, it exists" or "No, it does not." The crux of the issue lies in the fact that both answers seem to hold validity and can be backed by personal anecdotes that serve as proof for either stance. However, upon closer examination, these testimonials often resemble stories rather than theoretical arguments narratives constructed around the reality they seek to affirm rather than objective evaluations of friendship itself.This occurrence can be attributed to the fundamental contradiction of the premises of these opposing views.
一個被大眾經常掛在嘴邊的問題，可以很好地擔當我們探討的切入點——當我們開始思考「友誼究竟是什麼？」「友誼是否存在？」「友誼與我及其他個體的關係？」時，不如先思考另一個有趣且時常被人提起的問題：「男性與女性之間，是否存在真正純潔的友誼？」
針對這個問題，人們通常會給出兩個截然對立的答案：「存在」或「不存在」。然而，當我們考察這兩種極端答案時，會發現它們各自都有道理，甚至都能找到現身說法的人，以自身經歷來佐證其立場。然而，很快我們也會發現，這類「過來人」的敘述，往往更像是一則故事，他們關注的重點，並不是定論本身的理論支持，而是故事的演繹。這是因為，「存在與不存在」這兩個對立答案的出發點，本身就是矛盾的。
A thought experiment can be constructed to illustrate this phenomenon. Imagine a peculiar computer placed before us. This computer offers only one function: a communication tool that allows us to transcend geographical and temporal constraints and engage in written conversations with another individual. However, we have no knowledge of the other person's external characteristics, including their gender. This means that our perception of them is temporarily freed from real world biases and left to exist purely in the realm of imagination.
In this scenario, external factors such as gender exert minimal influence. Participants may find themselves enjoying the conversation, perceiving the other person as warm and understanding, and even assigning them imagined traits based on their words. Participants may picture them as a gentle woman or a considerate man, deriving clues from their descriptions of daily life. Yet, reality eventually intrudes, disrupting the imagined identity that had been constructed, and which participants may choose not to explore further.
舉例來說，假設現在有一台古怪的電腦擺在我們眼前，這台電腦只提供一個功能——它能以超現實的姿態，飛越地理甚至時間的限制，使我們與另一個個體發生聯繫，並進行文字上的溝通。而我們所需要做的，只是與這台機器聊上幾句。很快，我們就會發現，這樣的情境框定了一些限制——最明顯的一點是，我們並不了解與自己談話的靈魂，其具體外貌為何。這也就意味著，此時此刻，我們對於對方某些特徵的認知，會被不自然地屏蔽，比如：對方的性別。
當現實中的性別因素被屏蔽時，其所帶來的干擾也會降至最低，幾乎只能停留在我們自身內心的想象之中。換句話說：無論對方在談話中如何討我們的歡喜，無論我們多麼享受與其交流的愉悅感受，對方的性別因素，始終只能停留在我們的想象當中。在這個過程中，我們可能會想象對方是個溫柔的女性，或者體貼的男性。隨著談話深入，我們甚至可能察覺到對方對生活細節的掌控、對儀式感的要求、對未來的期許。然而，現實的力量終將戳破這層幻想，或者說，現實會迫使這層幻想停留於此，使大多數個體不再深入地進行進一步的想象與狂想。
In this thought experiment, the question of whether true friendship exists between men and women is examined. The logic behind the two extreme answers is identified as being at the heart of the thought experiment.The lower the interference from reality, the easier it is to form a true friendship, and the more interference from reality, the easier it is to disintegrate a true friendship.This suggests that the existence of friendship is contingent on the presence of a "delusion of delusions," residing in the spiritual realm of the individual.
當我們借由這個簡單的思維實驗，來重新審視「男女之間是否存在真正友誼」這個問題時，會發現那兩種極端答案所遵循的邏輯，正是這一思維實驗的核心——受到現實干擾因素越低，就越容易形成真正的友誼；受到現實因素干擾越多，就越容易瓦解真正的友誼。簡單來說就是，友誼所依託的幾乎不存在於能夠被理性識得的現實之中，它所依托的是盤踞在自我之存在本身的精神國度之內的“妄想的妄想”。
However, it is noteworthy that the cognitive processes that individuals acquire through real-life experiences can, in some cases, result in the unconscious engagement in a series of delusions. This phenomenon, often referred to as the "delusion of delusions," serves to imbue one's own delusions with a sense of perceived reality.In the context of interpersonal interactions, individuals often form judgments about others based on their behavior in the real world. These judgments are influenced by the cognitive processes shaped by the prevailing discourse power within one's respective living environment. This cognitive approach, shaped by environmental discourses, serves as an interpretive framework for navigating and comprehending social interactions. Individuals then employ imagination to fill in the gaps in this knowledge, thereby creating a coherent and comprehensible image of another person, although this image is largely derived from our own internal cognitive processes.It is crucial to note that the content we use to construct this reality is, in essence, imagined, stemming from our individual cognitive processes and experiences.
然而，有趣的地方在於，現代人經由現實鍛鍊的認知，會不自覺地迫使他們進行一系列的妄想，以使那屬於自我的「妄想的妄想」擁有一個現實意義。我們在人際交往當中，通常都會依據其他個體的現實行為對其做出判斷，而這份判斷通常來自於我們各自生活環境場域下，由至高話語權打造而出的認知。隨後，我們依託這份認知，透過個體的想像對另一個個體的未知進行填空，以完整一個模糊的形象，使其擁有可以被自我理性識得的現實意義。然而，這份被完整的現實意義，在此期間被我們填空的內容，其實都是被想像而出的、屬於我們個體自我的內容。
What we call "friendship" is, essentially, the content we use to fill in the blanks of other individuals, which originates from our own imagination. This also implies that others will, in turn, imagine and fill in the blanks of our existence that they cannot grasp in reality. The more beautiful the imagination of each other, the stronger and longer lasting the friendship. For instance, unconditional trust in a friend believing in them no matter what accusations others may make against them, firmly asserting, "They could never do such a thing" is a direct result of this idealized imagination.
所謂「友誼」，就是我們為其他個體的空白填充的、屬於我們個體自我的內容。這也意味著，其他個體也會對我們在現實中的空白進行想像，並填補他們無法琢磨的、顯現在現實之中的屬於我們個體的空白。在這期間，兩個個體如果對對方的想像越是美好，就意味著他們之間的友誼越是堅固且長遠。例如，對友人的無端信任——無論他人指責自己的友人做出了如何有悖於道德之事，自己都能夠無條件地信任對方，並給出類似於「他就不可能這樣」的斷言——其實就是一種美好想像的結果。
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这一期节目我们邀请到了老朋友Tim聊一聊婚姻，或许婚姻当中最难的就是维持，爱会消退，一段时间之后，身处其中的人很难察觉自己经历是磨合还是磨损；或许每一段婚姻的存续都是基于个人的需要和性格，灵活机动做出调整，以一个团队的姿态经营家庭，或许婚姻中大大小小的妥协和牺牲都能得到肯定，大大小小的委屈也能得到安抚。一个人和另一个人创造出一个家庭，在这个家庭里，人类要怎样调整自己才能获得自己想要的幸福。Linsey自己对于婚姻的认知仍旧处于幼儿园水平，而TIm和Danni很明显已经是研究生的级别了！来听听她们对于婚姻的解析吧！
In this episode, we have invited our old friend Tim to talk about marriage. Perhaps the most challenging part of marriage is maintaining it. Love can fade, and after a certain period of time, it can be difficult for the people involved to tell whether they are going through a process of adjustment or deterioration. Maybe the continuation of every marriage depends on the personal needs and personalities of the individuals, with flexible adjustments made, and the family operated as a team. Perhaps all the compromises and sacrifices in marriage, big or small, can be acknowledged, and all the grievances can be soothed. One person and another create a family together, and within that family, how can people adjust themselves to achieve the happiness they desire? Linsey’s understanding of marriage is still at a kindergarten level, while Tim and Danni are clearly at a graduate level! Let’s hear their insights on marriage!
Tim’s Douyin ID: MrFishSG
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我们有两期节目聊到人类常有的关于情感关系的焦虑，单身人士的担忧和已婚人士的担忧不大相同，这一期我们邀请了20出头的暂时单身的Harry聊了一聊他对情感关系的见解，出乎Linsey和Danni的意料，这位年轻的朋友对于浪漫关系的见解非常成熟，这种正常和成熟甚至在当下的社会显得特别罕见，单身不等于饥渴，单身不等于挑剔，来听听Harry的见解吧！
We have two episodes discussing the common anxieties people have about emotional relationships. The concerns of single people and married individuals are quite different. In this episode, we invited Harry, a guy in his early twenties who is temporarily single, to share his thoughts on relationships. To Linsey and Danni’s surprise, Harry’s views on romantic relationships are incredibly mature. This kind of normalcy and maturity is especially rare in today’s society. Being single doesn’t mean being desperate, and being single doesn’t mean being picky. Tune in to hear Harry’s insights!
Harry’s Douyin ID: 98257440736
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在我们生活里，总是遇到“好言相劝该死的鬼”这样的情况，看着自己的家人或者朋友在作死的边缘试探，我们却无能为力，在这一集里，Linsey和Danni从一则新闻开始，聊了一下介入别人生活的注意事项，在什么情况下我们需要介入？边界在哪里？作为介入者，我们的精神健康又如何保证呢？我们并非心理学专家，但我们在这一件事情上也有自己的见解，听完节目的你又是怎么想的呢？在评论区给我们留言吧！
In our lives, we often encounter situations like the one where ‘you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.’ We watch as our family or friends flirt with disaster, and yet we feel powerless. In this episode, Linsey and Danni start by discussing a news story and then talk about the dos and don’ts of intervening in others’ lives. When should we intervene? Where are the boundaries? How can we protect our own mental health as interveners? We’re not psychology experts, but we do have our own thoughts on this matter. What do you think after listening? Leave us a comment in the section below!
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独立和孤立的界限永远都是模糊的，对于成年而言，“难言之隐”覆盖的范围就比较宽，一方面是因为必要的自尊心，一方面是因为在成年人的世界里，很多时候不宜展示自己的脆弱。成人有泪不轻弹，委屈都往肚子里咽。这一集Linsey和Danni就独立和孤立进行了讨论，自认为的独立，实则孤立自己的Linsey在这一集里得到了最大限度的治愈。也希望所有认为自己“孤立无援”的人类，在听完这一集之后，心态会有一点点变化。
The boundary between independence and isolation is always blurred. For adults, the scope of “unspeakable concerns” is relatively wide. On one hand, it’s due to the necessary self-esteem, and on the other hand, in the adult world, it’s often inappropriate to show vulnerability. Adults don’t cry easily and swallow their grievances. In this episode, Linsey and Danni discuss independence and isolation. Linsey, who thought she was being independent but was actually isolating herself, finds the most healing in this episode. It’s also hoped that anyone who feels “isolated and unsupported” will experience a slight shift in their mindset after listening to this episode.
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春节前所有人被问的最多的问题就是“你怎么过这个春节啊？”或者 “哪天回家啊？”这些问题困扰着一代又一代的中国人，没钱不好意思回家过年，没结婚不好意思回家过年，没有子女也不好意思回家过年。我们见过太多因为在春节期间忍受无法解决的家庭矛盾而精神崩溃的人，我们自己甚至是其中一个！这一期节目可以说是最不靠谱，最糟糕的春节求生指南了。说不上来Danni和Linsey在这一集里是像两个炸毛的青少年，还是像看破红尘的老者，你们自己判断吧！
The most frequently asked questions before Spring Festival are always “How are you spending the Spring Festival?” or “When are you going home?” These questions have troubled generations of Chinese people—feeling embarrassed about going home for the New Year without money, not being married, or not having children. We’ve seen too many people who suffer from unresolved family conflicts during the Spring Festival to the point of mental breakdown, and we ourselves are even among them! This episode can be considered the most unreliable and worst guide to surviving the Spring Festival. Whether Danni and Linsey come off as two feisty teenagers or like wise old sages who’ve seen it all—well, you’ll have to judge for yourselves!
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对于很多传统中国家庭的孩子而言，做决定是一件特别难的事情，在这一集里，Linsey和Danni分析了为何做决定为什么会那么难。当我们到了为人父母的年纪，是不是应该微调一下教育的方式，让我们的孩子跳出这个“无法自己做决定”的怪圈呢？两种文化的差异在这一集里就非常的明显，我们可以分析这究竟是出于“技巧”还是“期望管理”，无数决定之后形成了命运，那么命运该不该是自己选的呢？
For many children from traditional Chinese families, making decisions can be especially difficult. In this episode, Linsey and Danni analyze why decision-making is so challenging. When we reach the age of becoming parents, should we adjust our approach to education so that our children can break free from the “inability to make decisions” cycle? The differences between the two cultures are very apparent in this episode. We can analyze whether this is a matter of “skills” or “expectation management.” Countless decisions shape our destiny, so should destiny be something we get to choose?
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在这一集里，Linsey 和Danni浅聊了一下对“成功”的见解，在传统的观念里，40岁一无所有简直就是一场噩梦！“成功”这个每个人都想要，但是不一定每个人都能感觉到的东西，究竟应该如何去定义？如果我们没有拥有世俗意义上的成功，就意味着我们正在过着失败的一生吗？“成功”这个每个人都想要，但是不一定每个人都能感觉到的东西，究竟应该如何去定义？如果我们重新定义了成功，焦虑是不是就会少一些呢？我们是不是可以试图让自己活得不要那么沉重呢？
In this episode, Linsey and Danni have a light discussion about their views on “success.” In traditional thinking, being 40 and having nothing is considered a nightmare! “Success” is something everyone desires, but not everyone feels they have achieved it. So how should we define it? Does not having conventional success mean we are living a failed life? If we redefine success, will it help us feel less anxious? Can we try to live in a way that feels less heavy and burdensome?
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这是一集简单的节目介绍，解释了这一季主要的内容，以及常驻嘉宾Mark的去向，希望我们在这一季里能够度过愉快的时光！
Here’s a simple episode introduction that explains the main content of this season and the whereabouts of our regular guest, Mark. We hope to have a great time together in this season!
