Afleveringen
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for 80s burger-van feuds, a keyboard prank that goes wildly âprofessionalâ, and a revenge plot involving five pounds of fish and three pints of maggots.
Ellie relives a small-town grudge match, a school-disco âsex godâ, and the moment her arch enemy gets sacked while she keeps very quiet about the free burgers.
Plus: Wifey swaps her husbandâs keyboard dongles and accidentally broadcasts his online obsession to a colleague.
Tony tackles his wife during a rugby lesson (then hits McDonaldâs). Then Johnny in the Rockies serves up a Thailand cheating scandal⊠and may have posted the evidence through the wrong letterbox.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for RAF police âBatmobileâ patrols that terrorise midnight Cluedo players⊠and accidentally spotlight the boss.
Max relives a 1989 traffic jam, a suspiciously wide-necked Apple-Aid bottle, and a lay-by moment that ends with an unfortunate âgiftâ for a grateful hitchhiker.
Then Janiâs missing neon tetra is found in the worst possible place.
Plus: Colin the Carpet Criminal blames silverfish after a DIY electrics plan tears up a brand-new carpet.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for sibling ârugby practiceâ that ends in A&E, a holiday comeback that goes painfully wrong, a Dolly Parton impression and a truly grim Vaseline mix-up.
Nick relives 1984: a beanbag tackle bag, a perfectly executed âchop tackleâ, and a sisterâs head meeting a handmade dollâs house â followed by a bunk-bed cover story⊠and stolen cola cubes.
Plus: Stephanie tries to thunderstrike her prankster husband, Mr Lloyd double-dips, and Daveâs Dolly Parton watermelon routine has terrible consequences.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for exam cheating in a lucky jumper, a welding lesson that goes catastrophically⊠south, and a nursing âsnapshotâ you may not want to hear while eating.First, Homer admits to a very 70s kind of malpractice: smuggling fully-loaded notes into a final exam on official paper and somehow ending up a headteacher.Then apprentice welder Steve hands a gas torch to a hoity-toity naval officer who wonât do her jacket up â cue molten metal, bedlam, and a breakdancing stripper moment.Plus: Emmaâs 80s Saturday job prank with âparty poppersâ, and Susanâs slippery suppository nightmare⊠Got a confession? [email protected].uk
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for naked ramblers, dodgy “shampoo”, and a circus moment nobody in grey trousers will ever forget.
Jamie and Sara take a sat-nav shortcut straight into a countryside encounter with a group of naturist ramblers — and a hedge full of nettles. Don’t look… but you will.
Then Tim rewinds to bath night, 1968: a seven-year-old, an Action Man mission, and a shampoo bottle that leaves Dad and big brother wondering why the “herbs” smell so weird.
Plus: Mick nicks go-kart tickets at the school fête and pays for it in broken bones, and Al’s mum becomes the unexpected star of the big top after one too many bottles of juice.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Father Simon and the Collective for a police mishap, a fishing adventure, a boarding school caper and a teacher prank.
First Joe DiMaggio has an eventful break with his fellow police colleagues involving a broken pool cue.
Then Stevenâs going on a fishing adventure, but watch out for the fish hooks.
Plus: Julie is asking for forgiveness for a prank on a fellow teacher Tristram and Dave has a boarding school adventure involving pirate radio, radioactive interference and the World Cup.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Father Simon and the Collective for soup-based horror, airborne football crimes, and one truly catastrophic âwindâ in an operating theatre.
First, a classic from the crypt: Lorraineâs 80s tin-code mix-up leaves a brother eating chicken soup⊠plus a black, gelatinous blob of mould, followed by two days in hospital that nobody even notices.
Then Alfâs military hangover meets bright surgical lights â and a âsilent but prolongedâ moment that has a surgeon hauling out intestines in search of a hole that isnât there.
Plus: Alistair secretly watches England v Tunisia during take-off and celebrates by waking a baby, and Penelopeâs husband repeatedly breaks into the wrong Caribbean hotel room⊠straight into a naked German.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for a vintage school-days reckoning, a Wembley fishbone emergency, lockdown jigsaw vengeance, and a fairground waterslide disaster.
Nigel relives the wild early-80s logic of collective punishment after a playground scuffle leaves a classmate dangling from a fence â and an innocent kid caught in the mix for reporting stolen trainers.
Then Helenâs 1987 FA Cup final is overshadowed by a bone stuck in her throat, a dad who wonât miss the match, and a lifesaving carton of Ribena.
Plus: Flora steals one crucial jigsaw piece from her cheating ex, and Rickâs Water Boggan sends a furious passenger out drenched⊠without the dinghy.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for an episode full of sibling sabotage, supermarket shame, and the perils of damp underpants.
Tim admits to a targeted reign of terror on his little brother. Johnâs 1999 CFAX football obsession ends in disaster, Richard loses control of some âloose grapesâ at Sutton Safeway, and Mikeâs sixth-form skinny-dipping leaves a very suspicious puddle in maths.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for another batch of confessions.
In a classic from the crypt, a lonely trucker accepts one Guinness too many⊠then points a hopeful Beryl to entirely the wrong big red lorry.
Then itâs Janâs rabbit escape that ends in an axe, a fingertip flap, and a grandad who chooses bunny retrieval over first aid.
Plus: a prison officerâs catastrophic coat-sniffing moment, and a first job interview ruined by dog poo, a blocked loo, and Captain Red Braces.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the collective for a week of blocked sinks, fake hospital letters, and staff training-day chaos.
First, Susieâs raspberry-peach smoothie turns into a fermented crime scene that takes out the call-centre kitchenette. Then Jeanette commits peak springtime mischief by forging a hospital letter recommending âMorris dancing therapyâ for her grumpy husbandâs dodgy knee. Plus, Mauriceâs 1966 snow-sculpture disaster, and Stanâs drama-teacher mate who sleepwalks into an unwanted performance.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for an episode featuring village newsletters, VHS carnage and a cigarette-based science experiment that absolutely shouldnât be repeated.
First, nine-year-old James âhelpsâ his vicar dad with a community emailâŠ
Then Rebecca admits she turned a brand-new VHS player into a Hot Wheels garage, and let her little brother take the blame.
Plus: Andyâs weapon-grade party-popper cigarettes, and a micro-school teacher with the strangest problem of all.Got a confession? [email protected].uk
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Step into the confessional for a special delve into the crypt for this week's episode of Simon Mayo's Confessions!
First: a Devon carnival prank goes full folkâhorror when a lovingly crafted coffin is launched into a river⊠and drifts 20 miles into the local paper. Then a âhelpfulâ sonâinâlaw turns âbingoâ into âstrip clubâ on his motherâinâlawâs phone â with an email to a politician as the punchline.
Plus: a dad accidentally cosplays as a hotshot surgeon (socks included), and a twinâbuggy wisecrack that haunts a marriage.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for a week of stains, spirits and seriously questionable decisions
First up, a gem from the crypt: Soviet-era Ukraine, super-strength homemade vodka, and a flock of geese who get so hammered theyâre mistaken for dead⊠until they reappear very much alive, very naked, and very honky.
Then Richard admits to provoking the Tokoloshi in 1970s South Africa. Mr P's confession involves 15 litres of carpet glue and one blamed child, and Mark & Elaineâs enjoy a driveâthru⊠in an imaginary car.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Landing in your inbox on Good Friday (or whenever youâre brave enough to press play), Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective are back with Parish Notice Board gossip, five-star reviews, and a Not For Broadcast pile that should probably come with protective gloves.First: a wholesome family holiday in Cornwall goes slightly⊠medicinal when a sleep-deprived dad reaches for teething gel in the dark and finds something very much meant for the other end of the baby.Then we head to Venezuela for Missionary Impossible: cockroaches, bug spray, matches, a fireball, and the discovery that âsafety bucketâ can become âflaming waterâ.Plus: canal piracy involving stolen mooring pins, and a Christmas morning rest-home mystery featuring a missing Jane⊠found in the car.Got a confession? [email protected].uk
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Suzi, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for another round of sins, five-star reviews, parish noticeboard gossip⊠and the dreaded Not For Broadcast pile.
First, Tonyâs half-term Lanzarote breakfast goes nuclear when a Tabasco bottle takes a Tom Daley-style dive into the Rice Krispies.
Then Helen, armed with a hospital litre of water and perimenopausal panic, misreads a sign and accidentally storms the gents⊠with a bold new accent.
Plus: We also get an accidental repeat of Jeff's confession, where he get mistaken for a blind man (Father Simon needs to work on his filling system)
And Greenkeeper R attempts naked mowing in SwedenâŠ
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk.
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for another week of packed confessions.
First up Adam relives the three-channel era and, in a strop over Corrie, does the unthinkable⊠and plunges an entire village into a total blackout. Louiseâs Brighton hen-do goes from bubbles to life drawing to accidentally gifting a homeless man cake⊠and a bag full of very questionable sketches.Guaca-mole wages fertiliser-based war on mumâs âsacred ovalâ, and Jay learns why you never, ever feed seagulls near a car park.
If you have a confession send it to [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for a slightly shorter episode that still delivers three absolute belters â plus Parish Notice Board gossip, five-star reviews, and a heated debate about how on earth you say 'guacamole'.
We first walk down the cold marble steps for a confession from the crypt involving ashes, an urn and a vacuum cleaner.
Then Mr C, a trainee engineer on a deep-water trawler off Greenland, quietly âsortsâ a toilet problem and accidentally creates a floating arctic legend.
Plus: Jonathan, aged nine, proudly parades a âlady-shapedâ inflatable from a den⊠straight into Dadâs allotment.
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk. -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confession Collective for another week of chaos, questionable logic, and tape-speed chat that nobody fully understands (7 and a half IPS, apparently).
First: Claraâs lunchtime ice creams take a horrifying turn when a ârespectfulâ window manoeuvre collides with a cathedral town funeral.
Then Sally relives childhood vengeance as a Cindy-doll disaster ends with an âever so slightâ push into a lily pond⊠and a decades-later Facebook block.
Plus: Alison reports a mystery powder to the police (taste test included), only to discover itâs not what original thought, and Tommy commits the ultimate school photo sin.
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk. -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Suzi, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for another week of chaos.
First: a 1950s boarding school in Kenya where the boys welcome new UK teachers with the ultimate classroom icebreaker⊠bright green pet snakes, smuggled under shirts and released onto desks.
Then Bobâs Tenerife chip run goes catastrophically windy, ending with paper plates, ketchup, and an accidental Carry On-style moment by the pool.
Plus: Geoff âaccidentallyâ cosplays as blind on the train thanks to reactive sunglasses, a Dayglo lead and a protruding white stick, and Chris launches a full police sting to recover his stolen bike⊠with questionable consequences.
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk. - Laat meer zien