Afleveringen
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In this episode of The MudRoom, and it's all about merging structured routines with spontaneous adventures!
Now, I know what you might be thinking - routines and spontaneity don't exactly go hand in hand, right? But trust me, there's a delightful balance to be found, and I'm here to show you how.
I share my top 4 tips to help you craft a day that nurtures your child's blossoming personality while keeping you sane. It's all about creating a beautiful harmony where discipline meets joy, and structure dances gracefully with spontaneity.
If you've ever felt like the ringmaster at the most unpredictable circus, juggling daily schedules and the delightful surprises your little ones bring, then this episode is for you. I'll guide you through planning for flexibility, documenting your day with a visual schedule, adding spontaneity within routines, and even planning spontaneous days that break away from the monotony.
Oh, and before I forget, if you're feeling guilty about not always enjoying playing with your kids, I've got another episode you might find interesting. It's called Why You Don't Have to Play with Your Kids (And Why It's Good for Them). I dive deep into this topic and explain why it's perfectly okay to not always be the playmate.
I would love for you to join me in exploring these topics and more. So grab a cup of your favorite brew, find a comfy chair, and tune in to The MudRoom podcast.
If you enjoy the episode, don't forget to follow, like, or subscribe - your support helps other parents find this valuable content.
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Put down that cup of cold coffee momma and come listen to this interview.
(Actuallyā¦bring it with you. You probably need it.)
Parentās everywhere are walking around like zombies, absolutely exhausted and tired because their child is not sleeping.
Whether youāre awake because your newborn just canāt seem to sleep for more than 2 hours or if youāve been up till 11 PM every night trying to convince your preschooler to stay in bedā
Youāre tired.
And thatās why Iām thrilled for this interview with Eva Klein from My Sleeping Baby.
She became a certified sleep coach after experiencing the stark differences between her first and second bornās sleep habits, and has since helped over 3,000 parents get their children to sleep.
ā”ļø We talk about the serious effects of sleep deprivation on childrenās behaviour and parentās ability to care for children.
ā”ļø The risks of downplaying/minimizing being exhausted for both parents and kids
ā”ļø And the surprising truth about sleep training and its impact on your relationship with your child.
Plus we discuss some other great perspective shifts so you can do away with the mom guilt and start prioritizing sleep for your whole family (you included).
This interview is for all my parents running on empty and surviving off of sheer will and caffeinated beverages. As my friend Eva said, āit doesnāt have to be your normal just because itās common.ā
Connect with Eva Klein:Website: https://mysleepingbaby.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mysleepingbaby/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1121914384529065/
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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āSometimes what happens is the more help that we get, we start to lose a little part of that power about being a major part in our children's success; their happiness.ā - Alex Leech
Grab a (virtual) seat and a drink. Weāre talking about burnout and the impact it has on our parenting.
Iām thrilled to be interviewing friend and neurodivergent teen parenting coach Alex Leech about what parents and caregivers can do when they begin to feel overwhelmed and consumed by everything that parenting requires.
Because if weāre being honest, it requires a lot.
Especially if youāre also navigating through raising a neurodivergent child, or if youāre working through challenging behaviours with your child.
This interview is filled with gems like I know will have you nodding your head in agreement and spark some āah-haā moments.
We get into things like:
Fears about offloading responsibility and caregiving tasks to other people
What could self-care look like (hint* Itās not always a visit to the spa)
Modeling self-regulation
How thinking about the worst possible situation can actually help š¤
The role of a community for preventing burnout
Plus an extremely eye opening moment about the truth behind whatās actually happening emotionally when we burnout.
What I loved about this interview is that it wasnāt a false promise about how we can magically get rid of burnout, because being imperfect humans who are also raising imperfect humans, which means that sometimes weāll deplete our energy reserves.
But it was an honest conversation about recognizing when weāve reached our limit, how that can show up in parenting, and how to mitigate it when it comes around.
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Remember when we chatted with Eva about helping your kids get to sleep so you can rest better?
What if you finally get your kids to go to bed at a reasonable hour without the tantrums, screaming, and requests for another cup of water but nowā¦
Youāre laying in bed wide awake. š³
Itās now 11 PM
12:30 AM
2 AM
And before you know it, the alarm is blaring and youāve got to pull yourself out of bed to get your kids and yourself ready for the day.
š“ Youāve had little to no real sleep and believe me, I know from experience, sleep deprivation can really mess up your day.
Well, what can be done about it?
Iāve personally heard a lot about sleep coaches for children, but did you know there are sleep coaches out there for adults?!
This week Iām chatting with Talia who is an adult sleep coach and weāre diving into the topic of parents getting enough quality sleep so that we can be present and ready for the dayās adventures and challenges.
Talia describes herself as a former chronic insomniac and having kids only exacerbated those sleep issues even more, which I know many of the parents I work with can relate to.
In this episode we discuss:
What do you do when your kids are (early) morning people but youāre absolutely not
Understanding the role of chronotypes and how that impacts your parenting
What revenge bedtime procrastination is and what to do about it
Making a wind down routine work for you
Plus, we have a heart-to-heart about the challenges of shutting off our brains when itās time to fall asleep cause it seems like those 30 minutes before you commit to lying down is when your mind needs to rattle off your ever-growing to-do list and things to worry about.
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Do you remember playing outside and then having to rush back to the house before the street lights turn on?
There are great memories made outdoors and itās unfortunate that our children arenāt getting to build those same kind of memories.
And those magical, happy feelings and memories you have playing outside isnāt just nostalgia.
There are some real health benefits for children to be outdoors!
Iām not talking about doing strenuous hiking trails and traversing through woods either (although if thatās your thing, go for it!), even simply strolling through a park can have amazing effects on your childās mental and physical health.
So, in a day and time of tech and structured activities, Iād like to take some time to chat with you about why we should be encouraging and supporting our kids with getting outdoors much more often.
In this weekās Mudroom episode Iāll not only break down the benefits, but Iāll also give you some ideas too.
Because I know being the loving parent that you are, thereās a temptation to think you have to do something extravagant or elaborate for there to be a benefit to your childā which is overwhelming as f*ck.
With so much on our plates already, thereās no need to add more.
Iām sharing some very realistic and simple ideas for outdoor time that you can integrate into your weekends or afterschool schedule.
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Summer is around the corner and for many parents, that also means school is closed and the children are home. āļø
Itās time to prepare.
You donāt want to wait until youāre 3 weeks into summer break and on the brink of losing your marbles before deciding to create a plan for what summer is going to look like for you and youāre family.
Iām not just talking about prepping for summer vacations either.
Since a lot of households involve both parents working (whether thatās at home or in the office), it can be tricky to navigate schedules, activities, and little ones wanting attention all while youāre trying to attend a Zoom meeting or get ready to leave in the morning for work.
Being a business owner myself, I spend the majority of my days working from home so I know from personal experience just how hectic that can get.
In this episode of the Mudroom and Iāll share:
Some important things to keep in mind when youāre creating a schedule/routine for the summer
How to create that schedule/routine but still be flexible enough for the changes of summer activities
My hack for helping children keep track of summer camp activities and when youāre available (vs when youāre working)
And a very important thing to make time for that most parents are tempted to overlook
Despite what all the parenting memes say about how horrible and stressful summer is with children home (not going to lie, some of them are funny), it doesnāt actually have to be that way.
It can be filled with fun, adventure, and even still stay productive. ā±ļø
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices -
Grab a scoop of ice cream, this is a special dedicated episode all about a parentās journey transforming their childās behaviour and becoming a more confident parent.
Iām excited to be chatting with Heather, mom of two children with ASD who Iāve had a privilege of working with inside of my curated parenting membership ParentAbility.
Heather joined ParentAbility after a year of challenges and road bumps while having both children home during the āunprecedented timesā and now sheās sharing her experience.
If youāve had questions like:
Would ParentAbility still work with my neurodiverse child?
What parenting is like without the reward charts and timeouts
If ParentAbility can truly help with meltdowns and sensory needs
Then this is the episode for you!
Iāve had plenty of parents wonder if ParentAbility is right for them, and while I could shout from the mountain tops how skill building and strategic, proactive action can completely change your childās behaviour, you donāt have to only take my word for it.
Hear it directly from another member!
Itās great to hear about the growth and wins Heather has had and how it's changed her approach to parenting since joining.
And of course itās exciting to hear about the leaps and bounds her children have made behaviour wise!
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices -
Grab a scoop of ice cream, this is a special dedicated episode all about a parentās journey transforming their childās behaviour and becoming a more confident parent.
Iām excited to be chatting with Heather, mom of two children with ASD who Iāve had a privilege of working with inside of my curated parenting membership ParentAbility.
Heather joined ParentAbility after a year of challenges and road bumps while having both children home during the āunprecedented timesā and now sheās sharing her experience.
If youāve had questions like:
Would ParentAbility still work with my neurodiverse child?
What parenting is like without the reward charts and timeouts
If ParentAbility can truly help with meltdowns and sensory needs
Then this is the episode for you!
Iāve had plenty of parents wonder if ParentAbility is right for them, and while I could shout from the mountain tops how skill building and strategic, proactive action can completely change your childās behaviour, you donāt have to only take my word for it.
Hear it directly from another member!
Itās great to hear about the growth and wins Heather has had and how it's changed her approach to parenting since joining.
And of course itās exciting to hear about the leaps and bounds her children have made behaviour wise!
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices -
Iām gonna keep this one short and sweet!
Weāre living in a technological age, and if you canāt beat emā, why not join them.
The wonders of modern technology really can make life easier, and the little handy device that youāre likely reading this email from, aka your phone, can even help you out with discipline believe it or not.
While throwing on a Youtube video and handing over the tablet to get five seconds of peace can come in clutch, these apps are actually helpful for behaviour and supporting your child as they strengthen those executive skills Iām always talking about. š
Shuffle around your widgets, maybe delete 1 or two of the 8 million photos of your children at various adorable angles, and make some space on your phone, because Iāve got 5 apps that I absolutely love that I think youāll find helpful too.
Theyāre tested by myself and theyāve been incredibly with things like helping your child recognize when theyāre being too loud, independence and getting tasks done or routine and schedules.
Try them out and and let me know what you think!
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Iāve been getting this question a lot lately and I think itās a fantastic point of conversation.
Letās chat about neurodiversity.
First, a definition:
Neurodiversity essentially refers to the variety of ways a person's brain can function and the impact that has on their behavioral traits.
Those who are neurodiverse operate differently from those who are neurotypical. People refer to neurodiversity a lot in the context of children on the autism spectrum but it also includes ADHD, OCD, and sensory processing disorder, and others.
Now, a lot of parents have sought out evaluations for their child/ren.
And since weāre a little further into the school year, and also because children have been on waitlists because of the pandemic, thereās been a wave of parents receiving diagnosis for their kids and learning theyāre neurodiverse.
It can be a lot for a parent to process and definitely a lot for a child.
So the question is, how do you tell a child about their diagnosis?
What age should you tell them? How do you explain something so complex?
In this weekās Mudroom Iām going to share how you can talk to your child about their diagnosis and neurodiversity in a way thatās not overwhelming for them.
Not only can this conversation be a great way to start helping them build an understanding of their own behaviours and feelings, itās also a great way to affirm and empower them if/when they start to notice their differences compared to their neurotypical peers.
Chatting with your child about their neurodiversity isnāt explored a whole lot so Iām excited for this convo!
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Someone recently told me that I donāt have a podcast or blog post on something I talk about all the time and my jaw just about hit the floor when I realized
Oh crap! Theyāre right!
Though I know youāve likely heard me talk about executive functioning skills before, I havenāt āformallyā discussed them outside of ParentAbility and I think itās a great time to remedy that!
Because these skills quite literally dictate our ability to do just about everything.
You know that morning routine you have; stumbling to the coffee machine to turn it on so your coffee is ready by the time youāre done in the restroom? Thatās executive functioning skills.
Calculating if you have enough time to do a U-turn and grab the form that needed to be turned in to your childās teacher today? Execute functioning skills.
Choosing to take a deep breath and smile when a rude person shoves their way in front of you at the coffee shop instead of using colorful, potty words? š¤
Yup! You guessed it! š„³ Thatās you using executtive functioning skills!
These feel so everyday and run-of-the-mill to us as adults, that itās easy to forget that these are learned and practiced skills. We didnāt just pop out already knowing how to problem solve and resist impulses.
The same goes for your child.
I use the analogy all the time: trying to function without strong EF skills is the equivalent of trying to cut down down a tree with a dull saw. Miserable and ineffective.
Whatās often labled as misbehavior is usually just a deficit or lapse in a skill needing to be refined and practiced.
So, in this episode Iām going to share what those different executive functioning skills are and how itās impacting your childās behavior.
Iām also going to give you a sneak peak of the 3-step strategy I teach the parents inside of the paid membership ParentAbility. š
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Chicken nuggets or quesadillas?
Blue shoes or red slippers?
Apple juice or orange juice?
These seem like fairly easy decisions for kids to make, right?
After all, youāre supposed to give them options, right?
Youāre trying to give them some agency over their life and help them feel included.
Except lately whenever you give your child a choice, itās a catastrophe.
They melt down, or they procrastinate about what they want until the options arenāt even available anymore; maybe theyāve just been refuse every single choice you give them until youāre both frustrated.
So, what gives?
Why do children struggle with decision making, even if itās two, seemingly simple options to choose between?
Well, thatās exactly what weāll be chatting about in this episode-- why children have a hard time making decisions and what you can do to help.
Spoiler alert: it has to do with skill building, because while it feels like making a decision is just a matter of picking which option you like more, thereās actually a few different skill sets that are needed for this.
And once we pinpoint what those missing skills are, then we can start figuring out solutions and stop the chaotic cycle of indecision and tantrums.
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Chicken nuggets or quesadillas?
Blue shoes or red slippers?
Apple juice or orange juice?
These seem like fairly easy decisions for kids to make, right?
After all, youāre supposed to give them options, right?
Youāre trying to give them some agency over their life and help them feel included.
Except lately whenever you give your child a choice, itās a catastrophe.
They melt down, or they procrastinate about what they want until the options arenāt even available anymore; maybe theyāve just been refuse every single choice you give them until youāre both frustrated.
So, what gives?
Why do children struggle with decision making, even if itās two, seemingly simple options to choose between?
Well, thatās exactly what weāll be chatting about in this episode-- why children have a hard time making decisions and what you can do to help.
Spoiler alert: it has to do with skill building, because while it feels like making a decision is just a matter of picking which option you like more, thereās actually a few different skill sets that are needed for this.
And once we pinpoint what those missing skills are, then we can start figuring out solutions and stop the chaotic cycle of indecision and tantrums.
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Optimism can be difficult when youāre a parent in the middle of a challenging time period with your kid.
When your kid has been smacking everybody who comes within a 2 foot radius or stripping off their clothes in public whenever you tell them no, hearing ābut look at how far theyāve comeā makes you want to roll your eyes.
But even though they havenāt stopped the behaviour completely, thereās still plenty of reason to recognize progress.
Even small, incremental steps.
And itās not just to make you as the parent feel a little less miserable (although, thatās a solid reason to celebrate).
š There are actual reasons to find and celebrate mini milestones and recognize moments of progress in your childās behaviour, even if theyāre not quite at the goal yet.
In this weekās episode Iām going to share 2 big reasons to recognize progress in your childās behaviour that parents tend to lose sight of when youāre in the thick of things.
Iām also going to dig a little bit into a solution for the frustrated parents when progress isnāt being made as quickly as theyād like it to.
Especially when it comes to behaviours like hitting or kicking.
After all, itās easier said than done to focus on the positive changes made when theyāre still being aggressive and I donāt want to just brush over that, so weāre gonna chat about it!
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Thereās nothing quite as lovely as the beautiful, musical sound of a child whining at you from across the room.
I mean, what parent doesnāt love that heart-warming screech of āhe took my toooooyyyyyā?
Itās one of the best parts of being a parent. š„°
Jk
Sarcasm.
I hope you know that was sarcasm.
For many parents, thereās a very visceral reaction to whining. Like nails on a chalkboard.
And young children donāt always read our expressions and think āgeez, maybe I should stop. My whining seems to be stressing out the adults.ā
Once they start it can feel like they just keep going, their tone progressively getting more high pitched until youāre considering hot gluing noise cancellation headphones into your ears.
But why exactly do kids whine?
Contrary to popular belief, itās not to drive us up the wall.
Like many behaviours, thereās a reason behind it. And if youāve been listening to the MudRoom for a while Iād bet you have an inkling of what the answer is.
Did you guess, dysregulation?
Because if you didā ding ding ding! Youāre correct.
In this episode Iām going to explain why children resort to whining, but more importantly for your sanity, Iām going to give you three ways to reduce it.
I mean, honestly, thereās no way to completely erase the piercing complaints.
Everyone gets into gumpy, petulant moods and even adults find themselves getting a little whiny when the self-check out is just as long as the regular lines.
But there are certainly things we can do to help our children communicate in more effective, respectful (and less annoying) ways.
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Homework.
Letās talk about why it sucks.
Itās not everyday that I insist on certain things when it comes to parenting. I may give a firm suggestion and repeat it over and over with the hopes parentās can see why Iām making that suggestion, but I say it all the time, parents are the experts on their own children.
But when it comes to homework?
For younger kids itās a firm ditch it. Be like Elsa and let it go.
And thatās not a matter of opinion.
Professional, peer reviewed study after study confirms this.
Homework for children in Elementary school and younger has little to no benefit for children. As a matter of fact, it can be harmful in some cases!
But if thatās true, why does your little one keep coming home with packets of worksheets decorated with crayons and bumblebeeās meant to make it āfunā?
And even more importantly, what can you do about it?
In this episode thatās going to be our topic of conversation; the harm of having children do homework and how to advocate for your child.
Plus, why teacherās keep assigning homework (even when they know what the studies say themselves).
Donāt worry. Iām not telling you to go storming into your childās pre kinder class and fling the packet back on the teacherās desk
But I am going to share the data behind why itās beneficial to opt out of homework for your child and how to muster up the courage to let your childās teacher know.
Even if youāre not fully convinced about ditching homework, I encourage you to join the discussion. Youāll get a better understanding of the benefits of letting go of homework for your children.
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Our brainās are a marvelous thing!
Maybe youāve heard it compared to a super computer before, and itās because it pretty much is.
From how it processes and stores information to its uncanny ability to learn new things and adapt.
But even more amazing?
Weāre constantly sharing information with one another.
Our brainās might be like super computerās but it still needs a very human component to function, connection.
The emotion that comes from interacting and strengthening our relationships with other human beingās is such an important aspect of our growth and this is definitely a crucial part of childrenās growth and development.
They need to be connected to you.
Literally.
Well, not as in getting wires attached to one another or having them on your hip all day- but the way you connect with your child/ren has an impact on their brain development and how they process their emotions and subsequent behaviour.
Curious how this works?
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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Children can feel like a never ending mystery.
Because you know that youāve seen your child put their shoes on.
Day after day, theyāve managed to put their feet in, pull the back up over their heel, tighten the velcroā¦
Yet here they are pouting in front of the door and insisting that itās the most impossible task theyāve ever been asked to do.
Like they havenāt been putting their shoes on by themselves.
Every morning,
Without your help
And doing this for months now.
So what the actual hell is happening now?
Why do kids start acting like they canāt do something youāve seen them do a million times over?
Especially if itās seemingly simple things like using the water filter to get their own cup of water, putting on a jacket, getting their crayons from the top shelf by using the step stool you conveniently placed next to the shelf.
For a lot of parents it can be incredibly frustrating, particularly if it was a skill that meant less work for you.
Like getting their own cup of water? Once they mastered using the filter it meant you didnāt have to get up every time you child swore they were dying of thirst.
But suddenly youāve found yourself once again going in and out of the kitchen a million times, having to help them with a task you know they already know how to do. šŖ
What gives?
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When parents are considering joining my membership program ParentAbility or when they join the Facebook community and start learning more about the discipline methods I teach, thereās always this lingering concern:
Am I being strict enough?
I know this concern generally comes from genuine care for their child/ren.
We donāt want our kids growing up into little gremlins with no discipline and wrecking havoc across Targets, restaurants, and schools.
Weāre trying to raise them to be respectful, kind, and caring problem-solvers who are able to hear the word ānoā without trying to swipe off all the toys on the shelf in retaliation.
So the fear that āgentle parentingā is too soft on children and means you let kids do absolutely anything they want has snuck its way into parenting circles far and wide.
The truth is that thereās a difference between being authoritative vs being an authoritarian.
And this distinction is crucial when it comes to understanding positive and respectful discipline methods and techniques.
This episode Iām going to share what the difference is between authoritative and authoritarian and how this applies to our parenting methods.
And hopefully clear up the misconception that gentle parenting means you have to be a permissive doormat to the whims of your 3-year-old.
You absolutely can still set boundaries and expectations with your child while still respecting them as individual human beings who are still growing and learning.
Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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When it comes to our children, parents are assigned the role of protector, a pillar of strength, always knowing the answer and in complete control of the situation.
So, when something becomes overwhelming, or we get frustrated, sad, even angry, thereās almost this panic to hide those emotions from our children.
It's a borderline taboo and for a lot of parents it feels wrong.
I donāt think parents outright hear someone tell them ādonāt let your kids see you cryā but the idea that showing ānegativeā emotion in front of our kids is a bad thing is subtly suggested.
How many movies have you seen where the mom smiles as she waves her kid off to school, double checks to make sure no one else is around, and then falls apart behind the closed door?
Or silently crying in the drivers seat and insisting everything is okay to shield the children from their sadness as if itās this dangerous thing?
And if weāre brave enough to dig a little deeper here, maybe youāve learned it from you parents or other adults in your life when you were younger. There are so many adults who canāt recall seeing adults be vulnerable when they were children.
Besides anger (or happiness), there arenāt many millennials who remember seeing their parents openly share other emotions, much less witness how they navigated or resolved that moment.
The fear is > crying or showing strong emotion in front of your kids is going to harm them in some way.
So the message current parents learned from that > donāt cry in front of your kids.
I want to explore that a little bit.
In this weekās mudroom weāre going to have a heart-to-heart about crying in front of your kids.
Weāll dig a little bit deeper into how our own experience as children may have shaped our view about expressing emotions now that weāre parents. How showing feelings in front of your child can actually help them with their own emotions. And the important part of this process that kids need to see- because yes itās okay to express emotions, but we also donāt want to constantly be losing our $hit in front of them either. Thereās a caveat (and Iāll admit, itās not something that comes natural for a lot of us).Grab the Scripts to Manage the Top 10 Crazy-Making Behaviours: prnt.link/scripts Watch the video recording here: Join the Parenting Posse: prnt.link/group the Mudroom is recorded live every Wednesday at 1:30pm ET/ 12:30pm CT/ 10:30am PT on Facebook: facebook.com/arfamilyservices
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