Afleveringen
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I’ve built my career and in some ways, my life, by showing up as someone else. In their voice, with their goals, their pursuits, beliefs and values.
First as an actor. (Although, let’s not fool ourselves and call that a career. A passion, a whole-hearted pursuit, yes. But a few paid gigs, a decade of rejections, and many big-dangling-opportunity-carrots does not a career make). I played their parts, wore their clothes, kissed their lovers, cried their tears, fought their fights.
There, but not there.
In my role as a copywriter and producer/director I shared their stories, sold their work, presented their beliefs, told their jokes and promoted them with abandon, unafraid.
Not heard. Not seen.
Safe.
I’ve managed to create, write and share for years without ever actually being there. I can do it for others, sure, no question. I am great at helping others show up. I can lend my voice, ideas, energy and craft to their goals. But for myself?
It wasn’t always like this. I used to be fearless. Sometimes I look back at that version of me and think: “Who even were you?” I’d write deeply personal work and share it, whether by the written word, or a short film, captions, videos, images. Taking excerpts from pages of my heart just in case they were in any small way helpful, inspiring, encouraging and I would hit ‘publish’ freely.
Somewhere in all of the madness of life, I stopped sharing.
I lost heart.
Or, perhaps more honestly, I became hard-hearted.
I think I didn’t have anything left to give? I was also resentful. Maybe it was having my work stolen and seeing other people parade it as their own and get the credit. Maybe it was the acting dream that crushed my spirit. Maybe it was the personal life events that left me feeling so damaged I doubted I had anything left of value to share with anyone. Or if I did, I didn’t want to anymore.
Or all of the above.
It wasn’t intentional or something I decided to do. I just stopped. I guess it’s kind of like when you wake up in the morning and there’s that feeling in the back of your throat - you’re losing your voice, it’s time to rest and stop using it before the sickness takes hold. Except, my voice didn’t come back. I see now that I gave it away, willingly. Put it in a nice little seashell all by myself (no Sea Witch needed) and stashed it the drawer of odd socks, tiny pieces of broken dreams and the sticky tape I can never find when I need it.
I stopped sharing, but kept writing, kept creating. I was making facebook and instagram ads, social media content, email campaigns, commercials, designing websites, writing blog posts, podcast episodes, courses, small products, workbooks, designs and more. All from the safe place within other people’s voices and brands, helping them succeed.
Then, at some point last year it was as though I heard the seashell smash in front of me: a glitter of glass, sprinkling on the floor with piercing pitch. It was time to grab my voice out of the drawer.
Even when I started publishing here it was in the space of the expertise I could offer, not my heart or anything truly connected to me, the person, just my skills. It’s valuable, sure, but not the only stuff I’m here to say. That’s why I made the pivot on this publication to what it is becoming now: Secret Gardens.
Now I’m here (hi), this is me. My stories. My words. I’m attempting to hear my own thoughts again and I feel like I’m just waking up from a deep sleep. Like I’ve been numb and silent, mute, by choice and all of these stories, words, and tales have become so loud within me. I’m just trying to distinguish one from the other as they all compete for attention at once.
I want to say this: if you feel shaky in sharing, you’re not alone.
I too am learning how to use my voice again. How to wield it in the “right” direction. I’m learning how to trust that when I go to speak it won’t break on me or make weird ‘baby dinosaur noises’ as my friend likes to say.
I’m writing again. Lending words to poems again. Creating with my hands again. Letting myself hear my own thoughts and opinions again. Giving people a chance again. Having fun with storytelling again.
It’s scary, but I can’t not do it anymore.
So many stories. One wild and precious life.
Thank you for being here.
xx
Would you like to join me?
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We are made of stories. Tangled and tightly woven with lines of shared memory.Spun and undone. Then woven again, anew.
We are made of stories.Living our days through the storyl i n e s
…we leave behind…
…for others. We are made of stories.
Tuesday, the 9th April, 2024
I’ve recently been getting back into writing poetry and working with my hands and I wanted to find a way to capture this idea of being ‘full of stories’. This artwork is actually quite small, about 10cm wide and it’s made of tiny rolled up scrolls (representing our memories and stories) from ripped art paper. Watercolours in earthy tones have been used to paint the scrolls and give them an aged feel. Some of the threads represent the ways we’ve tried to make certain events in our lives work and hold the scrolls together, keeping it whole. The other strands represent the way our stories entwine with others. The scrolls all together with the strands and layers of paper hold a lifetime of stories and storylines, there for others to read.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Most people know testimonials are powerful and know they need them. The problem is getting them.
So, I wanted to make an episode to hopefully spark ideas on where you could go seeking out some magical words without waiting for all your wonderful clients to get back to you! The thing is, you might already have access to testimonial gold and you’re just not aware of it yet. Plus, we’ll look at a couple of new ways to use them, harness their power and organise them too.
As promised, below are the visuals and links I mention in the episode.
* Fiona Humberstone on Instagram & her program, Elevate.
* Sara' Tasker’s Instagram & Substack & her podcast with Jen Carrington: Letters From A Hopeful Creative.
And for the curious kind (I know I would be), here are the two pieces Fiona was referencing, the logo I’d designed for a fictional hotel and part of the copy included in my work for its branding.
This publication is supported by the happy knowledge that readers find it valuable and lots of coffee. Sign up for free to get all the latest posts AND warm fuzzy feelings knowing you support my work.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keeleyrees.substack.com -
While social media woes are truly a first world problem, there were some real threats in the recent h*cking to my security, finances and identity. So, even though I don’t want to keep going on about it, one of the ways I thought I could create good out of this saga is to help prevent it from happening to others. So I’ve got a couple of security tips and things I learned the hard way here in this episode. Also there’s some encouragement for you, if you’re feeling a bit blah about the whole social media thing.
Oh! And something I forgot to mention in the episode is that you can actually download all of your content from both Instagram and Facebook, (it takes a few days and they will email it to you in individual folders) but it’s worth it, in case if you ever do lose access to your accounts.
Anyway. Super casual episode today. Hope it helps at least one other person.
xx
PS Last I’ll say on this topic. Back to normal lovely things from here.
For those who are interested - I've documented the endless loop of insanity Meta sends you through on my Substack account. You can check it out and the rest of the notes for this episode right here.
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Is there room for you online? Or is everybody else already doing what you want to do…
But better...
And more successfully…
Let’s discuss.
Mentioned in the episode:
Ann Upton & below is an example of some of her gorgeous work.
Also mentioned: Xanthe Berkeley’s interview on Hashtag Authentic.
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So it's time to write your about page? That's amazing! Because it means you're out there, doing things, putting work out into the world!
And maybe you've already sat down to write your page and found it way harder than you thought it would be, so you just added a quick bio, a picture that you don't hate and called the thing done...
OR, you got overwhelmed and put your about page in the time-out corner to sit there and think about what it's done to you.
I totally get it, these pages are kind of the broccoli of the internet world: Good for you, but really unfun to follow through with.
And to fix that, we need to look at what exactly is making them seem like such an impossible feat. (They're not, and you'll actually learn to love them after I've finished with you, but the process can feel daunting at first.)
And if you haven't written your about page, or you have but you’d like to make it a bit snazzier, then this will help you too.
Because even though they're not always the easiest thing in the world to write, if you have something that you're sharing with the world online, yes. You do need to write one.
So in order to get to the good bit where we make it easier, we need to look at why it can be so hard or uncomfortable.
There’s probably stacks of things that make it difficult - but let’s just look at three for now…
Here’s the guide I was talking about: Get Your About Page Done. (For the overthinking, perfectionistic creator.)
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Creative currency is a concept I created for myself to give these very abstract feelings a measure that I could explain—both to myself—and to others as I needed to.
It’s a similar thing to “having capacity” or “the bandwidth” as people say, but for some reason that never felt like it captured it for me.
There are at least 4 components or four types of “dollars” that make up this creative currency:
* Creative dollars. (Obviously.)
* Energy dollars.
* Brave dollars. (Hardest to earn, easiest to lose.)
* Emotional dollars.
Knowing how our creative stores are going, (what are we rich in, what are we poor in) then empowers us to “budget” so to speak for our projects.
Plus, it also helps us to pinpoint why we can’t take on a project we otherwise would love to. We might have the creativity for it, the energy etc, but our brave dollars are being required of us elsewhere in our lives.
And of course, knowing how to ‘earn’ back our dollars can help us know where we need to focus next.
Sudden depletion = unexpected expenses
It’s also important to know there are times that we can have massive payments withdrawn from our creativity, energy, emotional or brave accounts, sometimes unexpectedly, and it can bring our balance back to zero so easily.
Rejection or criticism can take a toll, for example. Bad news, sickness, stuff of life—(getting h**ked anyone?!)—can all put our creative currency into “debt”.
I can absolutely say I felt that immediate bankruptcy of my my brave, creative, energy and emotional dollars all in one in the last couple of weeks after being hacked online.
I’m now needing to spend some time earning my brave dollars back especially. But in other areas too.
This is why we need to know not just where our ‘bank accounts’ are at, but also how to earn those dollars back and refill our stores…
Which is exactly what we look at in this episode.
This concept has been so helpful to me, so I’d love to know if it helps you too?
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If you’re a creative or just someone who is sharing their work in any capacity - particularly online, you’ve probably found that in your pursuits of creating content or developing your website, or product descriptions or anywhere you need to write about your brand…
…that you’re not sure what to say, and how it’s meant to sound.
And all of the research you’ve done has led you to the conclusion that you need to spend some time figuring out what your brand voice is.
And that’s actually totally true. Brand voice matters and it does involve some very specific, intentional, strategic choices for the actual words you use, the tone of voice, sentence structure as well as topics and content your brand will cover.
All of that is necessary for brand voice, I’m not here to try and say that’s all bogus - it’s not. It’s important.
However…
I recently realised that this whole idea of ‘voice finding’ is something that doesn’t sit well with me. It’s the terminology of ‘finding/discovering your brand voice’ that I find a bit jarring…
And while we gave ourselves this container of “voice finding” to help us figure out how to communicate with our audience well, it’s brought with it a couple of (or 3, as I go into) reverse-helpful things.
So, in this episode I’ll dive into those 3 things and then offer some new handles for that container so you can feel a bit clearer about how to approach your brand voice…
And I can already imagine that this is going to have to be a part of a series, because there are so many layers and different things to this idea of voice, so I will circle back with more episodes on this to explore some of those in more detail.
But for now…
Let’s dive in to why it’s time to stop trying to find your voice, and what you can do instead…
Listen to episode 2 above & let me know how you go!
Oh, and as promised in the episode, here’s a Blupee.
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Ok, tell me if this is not the most poetic way to begin a podcast - we’re actually going to be talking about voice.
In the first 2 episodes we’ll be looking at ‘voice’ from a couple of different angles.
Episode 2 is more about your brand voice and how to find it - (or rather why ‘finding it’ isn’t actually the answer…) but this episode is more about…
Coming out of hiding to begin…
…Using your voice.
Speaking up. Showing up.
Why do we hide?
Hiddeness: Unseen, unheard, concealed, obscured, buried, covered, invisible, undercover, disguised, screened, cloaked, masked, unrevealed…
When we think of hiding it can imply that we’re really only speaking about something visual - but actually, we can be completely visible, but still in hiding…
Coming out of hiding is not just about being seen. It’s about using your voice.
We can also be showing up, in our business, our work, our life, our art - but not erally using our voice. We’re creating, but we’re not really creating what we know is on our heart to make and share, right?
We keep pushing it down… sometimes not even knowing we’re doing it.
But why do we do this?
There must be a myriad of reasons - but in this episode I’ve got 2 I’m going to look at here as to why we hide and silence ourselves.
So make sure you listen to the episode to dive into those reasons, and also what we can do about it…
And also! We talk about this moment:
Because maybe right now, it’s not so much about ‘finding your voice’ as it is about releasing it…
Taking those things you’ve kept in a hidden folder and beginning to share them with the world…
Unhiding that website from ‘under construction’ mode…
Finally sharing that idea…
Starting that business…
Launching your blog…
Beginning your podcast…
Allowing yourself to show up online, on social media or even writing to your email list…
…It’s time to release your voice.
Listen to the episode and let me know what you think!
Much love,
K
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The What I Wish I’d Said Instead podcast launches next week.
Can’t wait until then? No problem. Here’s a short & sweet trailer for you…
Throughout the podcast we’ll be looking at the stories we tell others: (emails, website copy, about pages etc) and the stories we’re telling ourselves. (Perfectionism, imposter syndrome & more.)
Join me with 6 binge-ready episodes (I’ve got you) **15th Feb, 2023 on Apple Podcasts & Spotify.
This is for:
The slashies/thé don’t-fit-in-a-box-ers/the “real job by day”ers/the dream big-ers/the starting again (and again), (and again)-ers…
…my fellow square pegs.
This is for you. ** Edited to add: Immagonna need a couple of days grace on that. Resetting everything after being h**ked has been a thing.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keeleyrees.substack.com
