Afleveringen
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When someone asks me what I do, I tell them I help people create regret-free lives. This wasnāt the goal I set out with when I started coaching, but over time, Iāve learned that regret is a deep-seated fear for many, particularly those entering the second half of their lives. Forget about all the things we did that turned out to be mistakes. Here, Iām talking about regretting the things we didnāt do. Evidence shows that most people regret what they didnāt do far more than what they did.
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People who come to coaching often fall into two categories: Those who donāt know what their next (or first) career move should be and Those with a job and career who want to switch to something else. Coaching the first group involves diving into their core life values, uncovering one or multiple life purposes, and drawing out their courage to take the first small steps towards becoming the āThe Man in the Arenaā Theodore Roosevelt spoke about in his famous speech at the Sorbonne in 1910.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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I know itās meant as a compliment, but it irks me when someone says, āYouāre lucky to have a high pain tolerance.ā They usually follow it up with a story about their own natural, even genetic, low pain tolerance. Iāve spent decades learning and practicing to become more tolerant of discomfort and pain. Professionally, itās what I help my clients do, as well. Iām not any more genetically gifted or divinely ordained than the next person who takes two Advils at the slightest sign of discomfort. But, years ago, I learned a life lesson that changed everything.
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An extraordinary Life Coach is probably not smarter, richer or more academically accomplished than her clients. She may not be older, wiser or more worldly than her clients either. But if sheās really good at supporting them to live a more optimal and fulfilling life, itās a good bet that she has made one transformative shift for sure. Sheās turned pro!
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One year ago, during this week, still shell-shocked from the events of October 7th, I wrote the following article, Have Freakinā Conviction! I could have never imagined that over a year later, our brothers, sisters, and children would still be held captive by the most evil and genocidal cult alive today. But I also couldnāt have imagined how much more robust, connected, and powerful the Jewish people would become because of this unspeakable tragedy.
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The rising generation, also known as Gen Z, has its work cut out for them! With nearly a decade of experience coaching this generation, I've witnessed their unique traits and behaviors. First, let me tell you what they are not. They are not stupid, uneducated, lazy, irresponsible, and a plethora of other negative attributions theyāre generally given by parents, bosses, and those of their cohort who donāt suffer from the particular misunderstanding Iāll speak of here.
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At least once a week, Iām approached by someone eager to create a career as a Professional Coach. They often ask for my advice and sometimes the opportunity to work with me to build a thriving Coaching business. Iāve previously written about the qualities that define an extraordinary coach. Today, I want to share eleven non-starters on the path to becoming an impactful and successful professional coach.
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I have a bone to pick with the Happiness Crowd! Through the last decade, weāve been obsessed with exploring, chasing, and finding happiness. Look through any airport bookstore, and youāll find countless authors promising happinessāonly if you follow their specific formula. This is Happinessā¦The How of Happinessā¦The Happiness Projectā¦The Happiness Equationā¦The Meaning of Happinessā¦and my personal favorite (not really!)...Growing Up With A Bucketful of Happiness!
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Last weekās blog post, āAre you a Time Thriver or Time Survivor?ā generated many responses, ranging from recognizing ourselves as one or the other type to wanting to learn more about the āhow to.ā Those primarily interested in tactics and strategies would be better served contacting a Time Management Coach. But if you are willing to dig deeper into your mindset and understand your unique beliefs around time and life and the more profound beliefs that are causing your experience of being a Time Survivor, I can help.
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I used to believe that our most valuable resource is time. After all, itās the one commodity no amount of money can buy. And the fact that no one knows just how much remains for each of us in our lifetime, makes it even more rare and valuable. But after years of coaching people of all ages, genders, and life circumstances, I believe there is something even more valuable than time alone. Our Time Mindset.
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When you hear or read the word ādetour,ā whatās the primary emotion you experience Do you feel excited, optimistic, and energized? Or hesitant, doubtful, and cautious? Iām going to guess that for most of us, itās the latter set of emotions.
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Iām obsessed with Ease. Let me be clear. Here, Iām not talking about Easy. Easy is about doing less, taking shortcuts, and staying inside our comfort zone. Easy says, āI donāt want to do hard things.ā Easy seeks pleasure at the cost of joy and borrows from your Future Self. Easy is what so many of us are in pursuit of. But the truth is what we are genuinely seeking is ease. Ease is a state of being. Itās an organizing life principle. Itās possible to experience ease even when we are navigating challenging circumstances. You see, easy and difficult cannot coexist simultaneously. But difficulty and ease can.
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The impact of Perfectionism is like the force of Gravity. Most (Iām hoping all) of us are aware of it, and ignorance doesnāt shield us from its effects.
In other words, not understanding gravity will not prevent us from falling, and in that way, itās shockingly similar to perfectionism. You see, not understanding perfectionism wonāt shield you from its inevitable psychological and emotional damage.
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Growing our commitment muscle is arguably the most significant lever of success we have the power to enforce. Yet so many of us commit to an end goal at the cost of suffering through the journey.
If the process of achieving a goal feels like suffering rather than hard work, we might want to reconsider that goal.
My last blog delved into the profound meaning and value that commitment brings to our lives. We must first understand the distinction between doing hard things and suffering; only then can we address commitment.
A recurring question Iām asked is, ā Why and how do you run 50 miles?ā
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Iāve been thinking about commitment.
Why does commitment have to be such a zero-sum game? Or does it?
Regarding most behaviors, a little bit is better than nothing. The foundation of successful coaching is helping folks take one small step at a time. Small steps forward can be a powerful strategy for attaining seemingly daunting and impossible goals.
But when it comes to commitment, taking small steps doesnāt do the job.
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Coaching is all about helping my clients get to āsimple.ā Let me explain. Albert Einstein explained the four ascending levels of cognitive prowess: Smart, Intelligent, Brilliant, and Genius. But do you know what Einstein, arguably the most intelligent human ever to grace this planet, considered an even higher level of intelligence than āGeniusā? Simple.
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The more years I collect, the less time and attention I give to arguing, convincing, and explaining. I love Benjamin Disraeliās advice to ānever explain, never complain.ā People who have known me for decades have noticed this shift. But they think itās because Iāve learned to manage my emotions. Theyāre not wrong, but thatās only a small part of why Iāve become quieter in middle age.
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āMy child needs to grow up!ā Nope. Your child needs to wake up. This is my response to parents who confuse āgrowing upā with āwaking upā. And I donāt mean they need to become āwokeā! I mean waking up to lifeās truths their well-meaning parents tend to (over)protect them from.
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When was the last time you heard someone described as being āobsessedā or āintenseā in a good way? Intense, obsessed, and extreme are all words that have become weapons. But none of the three is as weaponized as āextreme.ā
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One crucial aspect of the coaching relationship I haven't shared yet is the most important predictor of client success: how great Coaches choose their clients.
What differentiates āElite Coachesā from āGood Enough Coachesā is their impact.
Itās not how much they charge, what terrific advice they give, who they know, and how many books theyāve written. Although those are all contributing factors, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is impact.
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