Afleveringen
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What happens when you stop pushing through and give yourself permission to pause, reflect, and reset?
Reflecting on her recent journey, Monique shares how easy it is to take for granted the practices that support her mental well-being amid the daily demands of motherhood, work, and personal commitments. After recognizing her own tendency to hold tightly to control, she discusses how this summer has become a season of slowing down and creating space to reassess what she needs.
Throughout the episode, Monique highlights the struggle many women face in balancing ambition with self-care. She honestly shares her own experiences with burnout and the importance of stepping back to reevaluate priorities. With practical insights, she encourages us to find our own versions of rest and challenge the expectations that keep us constantly pushing.
Because true success does not come from constant productivity alone. It also requires the courage to pause, reflect, and care for ourselves.
GEMS DROPPED
“Sometimes things just feel okay or good because they are. Like, the things on the surface or on paper are looking good. So that means you should be good. You don't feel bad. So therefore, that means you're good. And it's like, no. Something more is here. Something that you can't even totally predict or comprehend is available to you, but you can't conceive of more than what you can conceive of while you're still in motion in the way that you are.”
“We busy ourselves with stirring because it makes us feel important, it makes us feel active, it makes us feel like we're doing something. And that's because our ego needs to feel it, not because there's any use in it at all.”
“Just because your identity and the value that you have sort of set an expectation around, just because thus far it has been that of almost unlimited availability and the person who is the fixer, the problem solver, the handler, doesn't mean that it has to remain that way.”
“You can rest by design. You can. You can be intentional and shift this proactively, as opposed to reacting to exhaustion and waiting for exhaustion to take you down.”
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This week, Monique shares one of her most personal episodes yet, offering an honest look at a season marked by anxiety, overwhelm, and the constant pressure to protect the people she loves. As worries about emergencies, business growth, social media, and motherhood began pulling her in every direction, she realized she had been sacrificing her own peace in an attempt to control the uncontrollable.
Through deeply personal stories, Monique reflects on the hidden cost of living in a constant state of future-focused worry and the breakthrough conversations that helped her recognize the difference between productive preparation and anxiety-driven control. She shares how chasing safety was actually pulling her further away from the presence, connection, and peace she was longing for.
If you've ever felt emotionally stretched too thin or found yourself carrying the weight of every possible "what if," this episode offers an honest reminder that peace isn't found by controlling more. It's cultivated by coming back to the present.
GEMS DROPPED
“I have been desperately seeking control and it has been under the delusion that the more we do, the harder we push, if we can break off more pieces of ourself to tackle more fires and to run faster, that this will increase our control. And the thing that I was seeking was safety. And felt like the more I do these things, eventually I'll feel more safe.. And it couldn't be further from the truth.”
“What I was losing in this constant pursuit of trying to control things and seeking safety was my peace and connection. You can't be present if you're always running out into the future.”
“You are not alone, you are not broken,, you are not the only one. Because I know that's the thing that I can feel like, really lost and sometimes I'm like, it seems like everybody else is coping so well. Girl, everybody else is not coping so well. People who are interested in dysfunction, who have been operating out of dysfunction, they're going to be operating fine. But if that is not who you are at your core, you are not someone who seeks dysfunction, who is interested in chaos, then you don't have to be fine. And you are definitely not alone. You are definitely not alone.”
“So my work right now is opening up more capacity to stay present to my process, to be in the process of things and to invite in more help.”
“There's no arrival point for anything in life, including safety. You never get to a point where you're like, I am safe. Not permanently. That is an active process of cultivating safety and seeking out things that are healthy and nourishing such as relationships, spaces, work, communities.”
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This week, Monique sits down with Dr. Kemi Doll, a gynecologic oncologist, surgeon, and debut author, for a conversation that is equal parts education, confession, and wake-up call.
Dr. Doll's new book, A Terrible Strength: The Hidden Crisis of the Black Womb and Your Survival Guide to Healing (Penguin Random House, May 2026), does what most medical books never do: it tells the truth in plain language, with warmth, and without talking down to you. In this episode, Monique shares how it changed her relationship to her own body, and Dr. Doll walks us through why so many Black women are bleeding too much, dismissed too quickly, and left to suffer in silence for far too long.
They get into the real numbers behind heavy periods and anemia, what your bleeding is actually telling you, and why the medical system has been so slow to listen. Dr. Doll also opens up about her own reckoning, including missing her own endometriosis diagnosis until she was on the operating table.
The conversation closes on the concept of womb sisterhood: the idea that healing this well-kept secret should not be a solo effort, and that the women in your life might be waiting for someone to simply ask.
GUEST INFO
Dr. Kemi Doll, physician, surgeon, advocate, career coach, and a double-board certified gynecologic oncologist and uterine cancer scientist | Website | Book | Podcast | Instagram
GEMS DROPPED
“I want women to have better gynecologic health. I don’t want us to continue thinking about gynecologic health as though, “as long as it’s not killing you, it’s probably fine.” - Dr. Kemi Doll
“I didn't realize how much I saw myself as a site of production, until you taught me that the unpregnant womb had its own life and role to play. And that my bleeding spoke an intricate language and that my well being was a part of that language.” - Monique R, Shields
“There’s something very powerful about receiving the message so young that, “when you suffer, be quiet about it.” That message carries forward in a way that goes beyond gynecology and womb health. And that is what I want us to heal from.” - Dr. Kemi Doll
“I invoke this concept of womb sisterhood, which means having one or two people in our lives we can share these things with so when you go to the doctor, you have someone who can come with you. you. There isn't embarrassment. There doesn't have to be silencing. These are such vulnerable appointments and having someone there who has your back can make a real difference. It also helps with accountability.” - Dr. Kemi Doll
“Especially for those of us born with a womb or gendered as female, I believe this is one of the first ways we learn to silence our bodies and hide. We teach girls how to have a period that nobody knows about. That's what we define as success.. This is how you hide it. This is how you very modestly go to the bathroom so nobody knows. And even when women talk about their most embarrassing moments, it's always somebody basically found out I was on my period.” - Dr. Kemi Doll
“This book has changed my relationship to my body entirely.” - Monique R. Shields
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When a message about choosing your wholeness reaches 100,000 people, you stop and ask, why does this land so hard? Monique did exactly that, and this episode is her thinking out loud about what she found.
She gets real about why so many high-capacity women are stuck waiting for an environment to change before they give themselves permission to shift, why visibility feels terrifying when your whole professional identity has been built around what you can endure, and why community is not a nice-to-have, it is the actual mechanism of change.
GEMS DROPPED
"There's no magic pill number thats like, hey girl, watch these, these three videos and now you will have a more holistic, whole self centered version of success. That's not really how this works. That's not how anything works in terms of creating a transformation in your life."
“What I have found to be the single most important driver is what community that you are in, who is speaking into you, or who is not, and how you have had a chance to practice being different inside of community that is a lot more aligned to who it is that you wish to be."
"We start to develop pride around our ability to endure. And then we start to develop our identity. Our whole person, our whole professional personality starts to get built around what we can endure. And we will talk about it loud and proud."
"You are in control of what environment you choose to put yourself in. Even if the choice is hard. Even if it's like, oh, but this environment pays me a whole lot of money. Even though I am not emotionally safe here, I am choosing to be here. You can never forget that that is your choice."
"Until you feel yourself behaving different, you will not become different."
"The inner voices that we have — as far as I know, not a psychologist — that inner sabotage, those voices that come up from us, they are not ours. They're not ours."
"If you really allowed yourself to fill the depths of what you were truly hungry for, the appetite that you really have for, satisfaction in your work, for feeling aligned more with your values, for feeling safe in meetings, to speak up and to be who it is that you naturally are being, you know, that you naturally want to be and who you actually are, to establish relationships with anybody along any level or whatever, you know, inside your organization, that was truly satisfied, the appetite is humongous."
"My old pastor used to say this. He said, your blessings are locked up in other people. Every blessing you desire, hope for, pray for in this world is locked up in another person."
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Today’s episode is about finding real momentum. Recently, a few of my past clients reached out to share the incredible wins they are celebrating. It honestly blows me away to see the real-world impact of our work together, and I know their stories will hit home for you.
Like a lot of women, I used to play small. But reading those messages right before recording this episode reminded me of what actually happens when you stop ignoring your gut and pursue the work you care about. Too many of us hide our talents because we think our work isn't perfect, or that we need another degree, or that nobody will care.
Trust your experience. Stop waiting for outside permission to feel qualified. You are ready, you have earned this, and nothing is stopping you. You just have to take the first step. So if you’re holding onto a business idea or a creative project you keep putting off, just build it. Someone out there needs your exact perspective.
GEMS DROPPED
“If there is something that you know that you're just good at, or that you're just drawn to, it's like you have this creative inkling to go and put out into the world, someone is waiting on you. Someone is waiting on you…it's going to matter for someone in the end. You don't know how these things are going to take shape”.
“I know that there is someone, there are a lot of us, who are sitting on our visions who are sitting on our talents, or we're just minimizing, the baddest, most exciting and dopest parts of ourselves”
“It doesn't have to look a certain way for you to get out. Take the thing that you know is in you and just give it like you mean it.”
“No good ever comes from us thinking of ourselves as insignificant or not significant enough”
“Don't wait to offer the most real, the most true, the most honest parts of who you are to the world. Don't wait for someone to tell you that it's time. Don't wait for someone to tell you that it's okay. Don't wait for someone to tell you that you're worthy”.
“Courage takes time, I think to build… time and testing. You have to put yourself out there in small ways, and build and build and build until you can look back and see, oh, wow, look how much I've grown. Look how much I can offer. Look what I can do, right? Sometimes it just does take time to, see our magic”.
“it doesn't actually take time to extract your magic, it's already there. Like, you don't need to package it, you don't need to do anything else with it, someone is waiting on it”.
“The community that you've been waiting for, the community that you have desired and wanted. Actually, it's on the other side of you offering your most true and honest self”.
“There's a connection on the other side of you offering your, whatever your thing is. There is a community, there is a person, there is a human being who is waiting for your bat signal so they can be drawn to you so that you can connect for your purpose”.
“Doing what you were called to do, showing up as you're meant to show up in the world is not easy. It's going to force you to confront things that make you feel deeply uncomfortable, things that make you feel terrified. And it's not to minimize the fear, it's not to minimize the feelings of terror, those feelings can be real, those feelings are yours, and they are real. And you could give yourself permission to hold those feelings and to just do it messy”.
MENTIONS
Episode 07 | Being "Worthy" Of The Pivot
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In this encore episode, Monique tackles the complex relationship between risk and ambition, especially for women of color. Through personal stories, she explores the emotions that come with pursuing dreams and why it’s important to acknowledge and work through those feelings. She also shares how self-awareness and creativity can help you face fear and find clarity when things seem chaotic.
Join in to discover how to change your perspective on risk and make progress on your own terms.
GEMS DROPPED
“We will use the past to try to predict the future. Right. Because this is the thing with the women that I work with, they're not just saying, ‘well, I'm scared of taking risks, so I don't even consider it’. You keep approaching the idea of taking those risks, but it's kind of torturing you because you keep approaching it, and then you keep hitting a wall. Everything feels too scary and so you're like, well, let me kind of think through my past–right? So there's this formula, and it feels like an airtight formula, and that's where we kind of get trapped, because if one or two of those variables feel off, you’re like ‘ooh, the risk of failure is now high’. That automatically shuts us down.”
“Where do you have space to actually stop and feel? You typically don't. And things are often happening fast. So you're trying to react, you're trying to think. You haven't gotten yourself any space, any room to feel what you're actually feeling. And that is what's keeping you trapped in that merry go round. There's no creativity available to you in that space because you're just trapped in cyclical, fear based thinking.”
“I challenge you, if you're sitting with this kind of indecision, this fear around risk and this story, to take a moment and see if you can, which I know you can, embrace the belief that I am someone who takes incredible risk and finds success. I am the great I am. I am someone who takes incredible risks and finds great success. What would it be like to embrace that? What are your earliest memories where that is true?”
“Remembering the truth of our resources, remembering the truth of our history, of our strengths, of our access, of our instincts, remembering the fullness of that truth, it changes how we sit with things that feel like risk, that are important to us, that we want to move through, that we are tired of approaching once a quarter and not knowing how to push ourselves through.”
“You cannot access creativity if the conditions that you have created for yourself to be creative have not been set.”
“Sometimes the way that we protect our imaginations is with our creativity, right? That's where it all flows from by allowing what is arising in us that is keeping us stuck…allowing it to flow through us and to inform us about any limitations that we're placing on ourselves, any lies that we're telling ourselves, any old stories that are coming up and distorting how we believe, how we believe we can exist and what we believe that we can have. That's another way of protecting our imaginations.”
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In this episode, Monique talks directly to women of color about how to stop just getting by and start actually moving forward. When everything feels messy and unpredictable, it is hard to find the headspace to think about growth. Monique gets real about why you need to know where you stand in your own healing and how to handle the nerves that pop up when you start betting on yourself.
Listen in for some real-world steps to help you plan for what is next and build the grit you need to handle whatever life throws at you.
MENTIONED
Tressi (Tressie McMillan Cottom)
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GEMS DROPPED
“The fact of the matter is that investing is a future oriented opportunity, A future oriented exercise. You have to be focused on what is here and what is available to me going forward. If you are trapped in the never again, you can't properly assess and attach yourself to the return on a future investment. Like you won't take the time to plant the seeds because you are not familiar with or you're not engaging with the sweetness of that future fruit.”
“The first thing I want to acknowledge is that it's really hard to leap into a season of thriving, a season of acceleration. It's hard to accelerate when you're still recovering. And I think we have to be honest with ourselves about that because you can't shortcut a recovery process. You can't skip past or circumvent a wound that is still healing.”
“It's still hard to believe and rest in our seasons of abundance when our hearts, our spirits are still trapped in the story of recovery or actual recovery.”
“What we gained through our challenges is just as important as the pain we experienced. Both are true.”
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Starting a business is often sold as an exciting path to success. But for many women of color, the reality of entrepreneurship is usually a lot messier.
This week, Monique gets real about the unglamorous side of building a multi six-figure business and shares the personal experiences that helped her handle the hard parts of the journey. She also talks about the stuff that actually matters, like setting your prices, knowing what your work is worth, and how to deal with those feelings of being a "fraud" that show up when it is time to sell your services.
Tune in to learn how to get into the right headspace, feel good about your pricing, and build the confidence you need to actually grow your business.
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GEMS DROPPED
“To build a multi six figure business and to sell what it is that you do for five and six figures sustainably, it is not magic, it is about having the patience to learn what your value is. It is about finding peace with the discomfort in the process and it is about releasing your attachment to asking reasonable questions. This is not a science, it's a practice.”
“Just based on the research that shows as a woman, we deeply undersell ourselves or discount ourselves, I think you should just lean towards overcharging because that's probably what's going to just even get you within the band of what's reasonable.”
“Pricing and what people pay for things and buyer psychology is so subjective. The longer that I have been running a business or I guess the more confidence I've grown in believing that you can charge anything for anything.”
“I also just generally think that entrepreneurial skills are beautiful life skills to build. I think I feel so much more connected to myself as someone who works for myself because soup to nuts, like, I have to imagine a future that I just create out of my head and then I've got to figure out how to make it happen. I think that that is an incredible skill set to have.”
“I don't necessarily believe that we need to be doing free work all over the place. This is a capitalist society. And I think that if you're delivering value, even if you're new at doing a thing, value is value. So when there are opportunities for you to get paid, ask to be paid, and if somebody doesn't have the budget for it, then you can have that conversation.”
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Ladies, it's time to embrace our mess! Because our mess has the most to offer us.
In our latest episode, Monique shares her transformative experience with a group of women who bravely confronted their struggles and emotions. Each woman, while successful in her own right, expressed feelings of falling short in various aspects of life—be it motherhood, relationships, or career. This candid discussion highlights a common theme: the burden of perfectionism and the unrealistic standards that high achieving women often impose on themselves.
Join in to find out how accepting your mess can give you real clarity and a better way to connect with who you really are.
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GEMS DROPPED
“I think this is the nature of high achievement, where we feel we're coming up short because the bar is way, way, way too high. And that, way, way, way, way too high bar serves us in many ways throughout our life. And so it's tricky when that same strength becomes your greatest weakness. Having an extremely high bar in life, when you don't wield it with intention, with thoughtfulness, is a lot of suffering.”
“If you allow it, if you submit to yourself, you get to find that the message is not actually too much for anybody.“
“Many people won't take that step, won't move past that threshold, that marker of control, that line of demarcation, because they believe if they start crying, if they start raging, if they let the sadness out, the confusion out, that they'll never stop. That it feels so vast and so deep that no one can contain it. No one would be able to hold the space for it. And it feels unending. be. It's never as scary as you think it's going to be. And when you allow yourself to let some of that steam out of the pot, you allow yourself to be out loud in your mess, like you just kind of relinquish control, again in safe held space, that you get to meet the side of yourself that you've been dying to meet.”
“Our mess has the most to offer us, our mess has the peace that we're craving, our mess has the creativity that we can't access, our mess is where our compass lies in seasons of life, where we feel so lost.”
“Just because somebody is feeling fragile in a moment, somebody is breaking and cracking in a moment, doesn't mean that that is who they are. That fragility is something that we experience sometimes, that we move through, that we learn from, that we need to just be with. And then you find your way. We are all whole.”
“It is a practice. It is a skill. It is a capacity to build within yourself. And it takes a lot of strength and willingness and just faith that you can allow yourself to be seen by yourself and by others, to be witnessed as well, at your most honest, at your most real and raw.”
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In this episode, Monique examines the struggle many women face when longing to reconnect with a former version of themselves. She addresses the common longing of wanting to "get back" to who they used to be, exploring the nuances of this desire in the context of new life chapters.
Through an insightful coaching conversation with a woman who feels lost after stepping back from her career to raise her child, Monique highlights the challenges of balancing motherhood with personal aspirations.
Tune in to hear the full conversation and gain practical steps to reignite your creativity and confidence while walking through your individual journey.
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GEMS DROPPED
“In retrospect, when you get to this stage of life and you have children and your priorities change, your rhythms change, you sometimes miss parts of yourself that felt less encumbered, that felt like you had less constraints.”
“You're never going to be unencumbered the way that you were 10, 15, 20 years ago. Wherever that version of you is that you're looking back to, she's not coming back. She's never going to come to the present day to rescue you from this, your current context and the current place that you feel stuck in.”
“It's not that we necessarily have to resent where we're at today, but when we want to go forward and we don't feel like we have the tools that we need today, we'll reach backward to a version of ourselves that cannot help us in our new context. I do love connecting with former versions of ourselves in some instances, but she can't be the captain of this ship. You're the captain now. She was equipped for the season that she came through. She’s obviously laid some groundwork for you to be who you are today. But we can't go back searching for that version of ourselves to fully direct where we're going next.”
“We cannot compare our capacity or our experience or our own energy to that of other people. We all have different boundaries and limitations and you should be assessing that on an individual basis. If you want to push through, it's an individual assessment and you understand how you want to define the bounds of limitation for yourself.”
“You can at the end of the day, write down one thing that you found beautiful or inspiring or unique or curious. What's one little thing to begin to train your brain to focus on a little bit more, to begin to grow that relationship, to begin to feel a connection to creativity again. It can be small. These things don't have to be grand. Oftentimes it is just these little small commitments, these very simple revelations that we just have to respond to that will make all the difference. It's those incremental things over time. That is how people win.”
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In today’s fast-paced world, the conversation about community matters more than ever, especially in a time when isolation is one of the biggest challenges many women are facing. In this episode, Monique breaks down the huge difference between simply being in a room with people and being in a space where someone can truly say, “I’m in the right place. This is where I belong.” She explores why so many women leave group programs, masterminds, and memberships feeling underwhelmed, not because the space was “bad,” but because it wasn’t curated with the depth, specificity, and psychological safety needed for real transformation.
Monique unpacks what aligned community actually means, why group size and curation matter, and how to stop settling for spaces that force women back into survival when they are seeking spaces that support thriving. Tune in for a deeper conversation on discernment, alignment, and how to find a space that truly supports growth, belonging, and becoming more of who you are.
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GEMS DROPPED
“There is a huge difference between finding community and being in a room where you can look to your left, you can look to your right and say, ”I'm in the right place. This is where I belong. I'm so glad I'm here. This is making sense.”
“Aligned community has to be one of the most overused phrases and I think that we don't really know what alignment is and what it actually requires.”
“Group size matters when you are trying to actually grow your network, when you are actually trying to grow yourself, not just up level your skills, but you are trying to see yourself evolve, move past a lot of those internal barriers, the things that are scaring you. Like the extremely vulnerable, interpersonal, internal work. So who's in the room and what connection you feel to those folks really matters.”
“You have to know what your goals are. If your goals are things like exposure or inspiration or like broad networking, larger rooms can work beautifully. But if your goal is actually identity transformation, you want to become different. If your goal is depth and community, you want to feel connected, begin to establish new bonds with people, size matters. No one's going to tell you that. But I'm telling you that today.”
“High quality rooms create transferable insights.That is the goal.”
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If you’ve been telling yourself you’re “just not disciplined enough,” this episode is your permission slip to stop weaponizing that story.
Because the truth is you’re trying to create from a body that’s depleted.
In this episode, Monique names what so many high-achieving women experience: you can hold a crystal-clear creative vision for years… and still shut down the moment you finally have time to work on it. Not because you’re lazy. Not because you don’t want it badly enough. But because pressure and creativity don’t thrive in the same conditions.
Tune in as Monique breaks down why execution can happen under adrenaline, urgency, and cortisol, but creation requires something else and offers a grounded shift that changes everything.
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GEMS DROPPED
“You don't actually lack discipline. You're just trying to create from a body that is truly, completely depleted.”
“Rest is not a reward that you get after you create. It's the requirement before you do.”
“You can't solve for your dream from the same place you produce from for your job. That place is pressure. The kind of pressure that has depleted you.”
“There is a middle space between burnout, which we have to acknowledge. And what I think is in that middle space is restoration.“
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In this episode, Monique explores a moment so many high-achieving women experience. That moment an opportunity appears and you quietly start building a case for why you shouldn’t take it.
Using the launch of her new YouTube channel as a real-time example, Monique shares what it looks like to move forward without waiting to feel “ready.” She unpacks the familiar fears that often surface when visibility increases, such as What if it flops? What if people judge me? What if I’m not enough? and offers a grounded reframe.
For anyone sitting on a pivot, a transition, or a new chapter, Monique encourages you to shoot the shot, stop self-disqualifying and see what happens.
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GEMS DROPPED
“Don't count yourself out before you give it a shot.”
“We have this very interesting relationship to our achievements as high achievers where it's like as soon as you achieve something, you write it off. It's just like, okay, on to the next.We have just been dismissing over and over and over again, not enoughing over and over and over again. Through every milestone, every point of new expansion, every big lesson learned, or every iInternal shift. These are huge things, but we discount so much of it.”
“I don't know what it is that you might be facing. What it is that you're hesitating to go for, to toss your hat in the ring for, to apply for, to step into, a phone call that you have been holding off on making, there's a person that you want to mentor you, someone that you want to connect with, anywhere you want to be. Shoot your shot. Shoot your shot.”
“Whatever the thing is that you are holding yourself back on, with intention, shoot your shot. Stop counting yourself out and see what happens. Know that you can cope and that you will grow. Guaranteed. In any case, you will grow. “
“We have to push ourselves into new limits. And I think especially to take emotional risks. These are the things that make us feel very vulnerable. Oftentimes we feel a lot more equipped to take professional risks, tactical risks, strategic risks. But we don't always want to take the emotional risk. And the emotional risk is where it's at. That's where you're going to see yourself transform.”
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In this day and age when there are a lot of things that want to stifle our dreams and stifle our energy and our creativity about what it is that we can build or do or how we can exist in the world, we need support with dreaming.
In this episode, Monique shares what came up during a recent dream session she led with her clients, and why making space for self-reflection and imaginative play is such a powerful (and necessary) practice. You’ll hear her unpack our relationship with dreaming and the ongoing work of becoming, not the version of yourself that gets approval, but the version that feels true. She also offers a gentle but clear shift: instead of chasing external validation, start paying attention to what you actually desire, because those internal cues are often the most honest fuel for your ambition.
If your dreams have been feeling distant, smaller, or harder to access lately, this conversation will help you reconnect. Tune in, explore what’s calling you forward, and take one small step toward reclaiming your dreams.
GEMS DROPPED
“Dreaming can feel really tough, especially for women who are positioned to be the caretakers of this world in our communities, in our families, in our offices, everywhere we go. And so we get wrapped up in what everybody else needs.”
“To have a relationship to the dream, which is like more of a destination positioning, as opposed to having a relationship to dreaming, which is the act of creating, engaging with the dream. I think the line of delineation there is one points to where am I supposed to go or and how am I supposed to go there. The other one points to who am I supposed to be and so that's the question I'll pose to you, which is who it is that you're trying to be?”
“The dream is really just a byproduct or a symptom of you being who you are meant to be expressed as here and now, right? Are you behaving as her? Are you existing as her? Are you at the energetic frequency? It's just what happens.”
“Whether or not we know it, y', all, we have mantras running through our heads every day. Directing our beliefs, directing our actions, all of our choices. You're already running off of a mantra, and it is your job to, as often as you can, examine what is the mantra that I'm living by right now. What is the track that is running through my mind that is directing my thoughts, my emotions, my behaviors, what's in there and is it serving me? Because sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. Many times, especially in a season where you are triggered by fear and overwhelm, those kinds of things, they don't come from nowhere, and they don't have an impact. That's just external. It's like your mind is running on something. And so we’ve got to get a hold of our thoughts, and we have to replace our thoughts.”
“Your dream is about who you wish to be. How you wish to be expressed in the world. It's not about the destination or the accomplishments. It's about how you want to feel about yourself. The kind of woman who is. The kind of woman who does. The kind of woman who exists. Are you willing to put her at risk to make other people feel better?”
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In this introspective episode, Monique shares her self-discovery journey and what it’s taught her about shifting her relationship with money and consumption.
You’ll hear how she’s approaching better money management through a low-buy challenge, plus the real lessons she’s carrying forward from past accountability efforts in other parts of her life.
This conversation is a reminder that financial wellness isn’t meant to be done alone. When we name what’s true, share the messy parts, and ask for support, we create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with money. Tune in now.
GEMS DROPPED
“I think that our relationship with money and finances is just like any other relationship in life where it is a continuous growth process, a continuous learning curve with reevaluation and reinvestment and retesting and retrying.”
“When we say we want something, then we don't do it, It's because you didn't commit. You didn't really want it. You wanted to want it, but your behaviors do not demonstrate that commitment.”
“One thing I know about myself is that if I have an accountability partner, an accountability group that's also serious, I am golden. I am golden. I work out so many things in my life through relationships. It's a tool, it's a leveraging piece that I use to help me meet my goals.”
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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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In today's fast-paced world, women often find themselves at a crossroads, grappling with their professional identities and the desire for personal growth.
In this candid conversation, Monique discusses the societal pressures that often keep women tethered to outdated identities and the necessity of forging authentic connections that foster growth and transformation. Her message serves as a reminder that change is possible, and with the right support, women can achieve their dreams and redefine success on their own terms.
Tune in to discover how to reclaim your worth, embrace your agency, and build meaningful relationships that support your growth.
GEMS DROPPED
“I do believe that we all should own something. It does not matter if you work full time and you are a corporate baddie. You are busting down doors and climbing all the ladders… I do believe that we should all own something.”
“You need to actually take the reins of your own story and be able to not only build it, but speak about it and move in it. To actually exist in this new identity.”
“Transformation is a choice, but it's also a result of relationships. You're not going to find transformation by reading a book. You're not. You might find a spark that leads you down a path towards growth and development and transformation, but information is not transformation. Information in and of itself, does not mean that you have actually made meaning of it. And I know that as we endeavor to make big changes in our world and big changes in our life that if we continue to exist only in shallow spaces, then we are missing out on the transformation.”
“I know when I feel like I'm down in the dumps about something and I'm doing that thing where it's like, well, I just need to do better. I'm just not enough. I'm not doing enough of the things. I gotta push harder. I just need to pull myself up by my bootstraps. All that bs. We self isolate as well. It puts you in this sort of self fulfilling cycle of the thing that you need most, which is the degree of support that you are not getting from the outside through an aligned community. When you don't do it, it just leads you to further and further self isolation and shame.”
“Depth [in relationships] is about alignment and a mutual willingness to continuously reach for realignment and overlap and ways in which to know each other more and to create more and more permission to know each other.”
"When you've got the passion, the ideas, the access and the networks, but you still won't move. That's your signal. It's not you. There's nothing else that you're lacking…Stop blaming yourself. … There is something about your environment, your community, the systems that exist around you, or don't exist around you. That is what is lacking. And so you have to solve for those things with the resources that you have.”
“’I’ve shouted from the rooftops that this is how we have to move in the society that exists around us. This is how we have to move. You cannot be passive with this. You cannot be wishing upon a star and hoping. This is not a time for just being hopeful. You gotta take action and use what you have to get what you want.”
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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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This week on Ambition Without Compromise, we’re revisiting a pivotal episode that resonates deeply with our ongoing theme of embracing change.
Join Monique as she tackles the elusive concept of the "right time" and how it often keeps us stuck in a cycle of waiting for the perfect moment to pursue our dreams. She dives straight into the heart of the matter, sharing powerful insights on how we often cling to familiar paths, fearing the unknown, and how this can lead to stagnation. She encourages us to challenge the narratives that keep us from embracing our true passions and desires.
It's time to give ourselves permission to dream big and take action!
GEMS DROPPED
“This magical right time, the time when you feel ready, when things are in place, when you have done enough, when you have prepared enough, and you know that this is up for you, that this is a challenge for you right now… The whole thing is a trick.”
“When you keep saying stuff like, well, I just have to think about, or I just have to decide, or I've got to give some more thought to … I need to do some preparation… I just. I just. I just. I just. y'all. This is all danger language. Danger, danger, danger, danger, language. We start backing ourselves into deep limitation because we are fearful of giving ourselves permission to be specific about what it is that we truly want.”
“Leading with our wants feels reckless when we have always led with what we think we need/what is required, for so, so, so, so long.”
“You can't cut something off from nourishment and expect it to survive.”
“I recognize that in order for this next part of me, this next phase to come to fruition, for that to happen, I'm gonna have to relinquish the reins. I'm gonna have to let this other part of me, this free and creative and open, this vulnerable part of me, come up to the driver's seat and I might have to get in the back, I might have to get in the trunk at some point. That feels so risky. It feels so, so risky internally.”
“We disconnect from that part of ourselves. We leave those, air quote, ‘childish things’ behind and we get serious about life and we put on new coping skills and different things toughen us up and rough us up, and we forget that that wild and free little version of us, has so much power.”
“I hope that if you are sitting in stagnation and not realizing, I hope that if you are sitting in, ‘I need to wait for the right time’, or ‘I just need to think through. I just need to figure out,’ or ‘I just need to, you know, shore up x, y and z,’ that you bust down those walls and get real with the truth of what's going on here, which is knowing that you don't have to cling to what's familiar and that you're not going to find your freedom. Your salvation will not come from this place. You have everything you need to make the move if you give yourself permission to let that part of you actually dream it up and connect you to the urgency of it all.”
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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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We’re bringing back this powerful conversation as a replay because the message is still exactly what you need to hear if you’re feeling called to something more in your career or business.
Join Monique as she dives into the art of self-persuasion and the importance of recognizing your inherent worthiness. She challenges you to shift your mindset from external validations to embracing your internal power, urging you to ask yourself: Who do I need to be to make the changes I desire?
By understanding the narratives you create around your ambitions and the social contracts you feel bound to, you can begin to dismantle the barriers that prevent you from stepping into your fullest potential.
When you move with confidence in who you are and what you stand for, it’s magnetic. You are powerful. You are worthy. You can make that pivot and this replay is your reminder.
GEMS DROPPED
“Setting yourself up for success is either code for, “I want to make sure that I make a move that protects me from failure” or “how do I make sure I'm set up for it is what will finally make me worthy of the success?” So one is about, I want to make sure that I have collected all of the Girl Scout badges, and the other is about I've put on enough armor to protect myself. Both of those buckets are a way of thinking that has been handed down to us through traditional career building in corporate structures and neither of those models is going to get you to your intrinsic vision”
“The social contracts that you make with people, they do exist. When we build up different brands, or even just professional reputations in people's minds, they exist, …people need to be able to hold you in their imaginations as something, we need to make sense of each other. But those brands, those reputations are not built on the specific configuration of what you do and how you do it in the world. They're not built upon the specific titles that you carry, and the specific strengths and skills that you have and how those things specifically come together. That's not actually the bedrock, they're a part of it, for sure, but the bedrock of those social contracts, and the way that people are carrying us in their minds… is trust”.
“People are not thinking about us as much as we think they are. we're caught up in our own stuff y'all, like the same way that you're just trying to stay on top of all the basic necessities of your life in all the big questions of your life. That's what everybody else is doing, too.”
“...things that you think you need to have… all of the shiny objects that you need to collect… all of the people, all of the authorities that need to approve of you before you can make this step, you don't have to be set up in that way for success. The way that we set ourselves up for these pivots. The ways that we prepare ourselves to make these kinds of pivots is by going internal into making some decisions and making some shifts around how we are relating to ourselves, which then carry out to how we move. When we move with that kind of energy, you become magnetic…’
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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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Are you feeling overwhelmed by the demands of life and struggling to prioritize your well-being? This struggle is not unique; countless high achieving women share similar experiences of knowing what they should do for their health and happiness, but finding it difficult to take action.
In our latest episode, Monique offers insights that can help transform your approach to self-care and ambition. Join in to explore the systemic influences at play and discover four key pillars that can help you adhere to your personal goals.
By understanding the systemic barriers we face and recognizing the importance of support systems, we can take meaningful steps toward a more fulfilling life. Tune in to learn more about how to align your actions with your highest goals and create the life you truly desire.
GEMS DROPPED
“Thinking about what keeps us from prioritizing our priorities, I'm gonna say number one is capitalism. As we think about what are the things that hamper us? A lot of them are systemic. Which is why I point to capitalism, which means they're all around us. The pressures on our time, our mental energy, our ability to access things like clarity or confidence. It's all driven by these systemic influences and it's by design.”
“We have a whole culture around career building in this country in particular that despises space, rest, and restoration for our body, mind, or spirit. So we know, but day by day, the lived experience of it is like we know better and we have every reason to, and we have the urgency, but we still don't do it.•
“Routines, they drive adherence. If you don't have somebody holding the routine for you, because I think that is the mistake we make. We just like, I just need to get more discipline. I just got to hunker down. Girl. If you ain't been hunkered down or grown this imaginary, you know, pool of discipline in these past five years, it's not, it's not coming. So make it happen. Invest in making sure that someone else is holding it alongside you, holding it for you. Holding it with you. At a bare minimum, we've got to find ways for the routines to be held because life is life in life be lifeing.”
“If you don't have space to actually move through what is your true emotional state or states of being, it makes it hard for you to also align your actions with moving toward what it is that you want.Because your wanting becomes tainted or complicated. It just taints your willingness if you, if you're feeling a lot of suppressed emotions.”
“If you are not doing the things to actually evolve yourself, that moment's not coming. It's not coming. The way it works is you invest ahead. You invest ahead so that you can fast track yourself to the things that you know you should be doing, but you're just not doing right now. And then you get the payout.”
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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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Are you feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time? You're not alone! This paradox can be particularly pronounced for women and people of color, who often carry the weight of not just their own responsibilities, but also the expectations of their communities.
In this timely episode, Monique addresses the struggle of feeling squeezed while trying to maintain personal and professional aspirations and inspires us to rethink our approach to leadership, collaboration, and self-care. Tune in to discover how to reclaim your time and energy while still pursuing your dreams without sacrificing your well-being.
MENTIONED
70 | Inside Our Marriage: Navigating Ambition, Money, and Vision Together
GEMS DROPPED
“Don't wait. Just offer what you have to offer when you have to offer it, where you have to offer it from. And so that's what we're doing right now. Sometimes it's not perfect, and why does it need to be?”
“We have a lot on our side right now and maybe still feel pressured. And I want us to realize how much we still have to create with. All is absolutely not lost, y'all.”
“It's important to note that it's not about figuring out how to squeeze more out or how to become more productive yourself. It's really about how to skillfully become a producer who is not doing direct producing. Like, how can you be someone who's orchestrating while other people are producing on your behalf. I think that this is something that we really, really, really struggle with.”
“If you are overwhelmed, the solution can't be to fill my brain with more stuff that cannot be the automatic solution, or it can't be the entire solution. Cognitive deficit is not the issue. We got to stop solving for the thing that is not the problem or where we are actually missing support is in who we are showing up as who we are being.”
“We're attached to the identity of being the one who handles everything because that is how we are appreciated. That is how we are seen as valuable.That is how we have connected with a sense of being loved and belonging. That's how we have had a sense of ourselves for so long. It's really hard to detach from that.”
“You can and actually have to begin to learn to do less in order to experience more. Period, point blank. Period.”
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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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