Afleveringen
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Between the time when the bombs fellā¦and the rise of the sons of Pteranodon, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Co-Dee, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Apocalypse Video upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high podcasting!
I am your host and Chronicler, Dave, and joining me as we watch the film that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a household name in the world of Cinema are fellow Cimmerians and thieves Ryan, Mike, and special guest of honor: Co-Dee.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the newest exercise routine sweeping the wasteland: the Wheel of Pain workout; John Milius provides the perfect level of machismo needed to direct a film such as Conan the Barbarian; and finally, Ryan inadvertently creates a running gag that threatens the death of yours truly by Co-Deeās hand.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
So, did Co-Dee review another film for the Apocalypse Video podcast. And, having no further concern, he and his companions watched many more movies and talked about them endlessly. These stories shall also be toldā¦ -
Itās time to bust out the oil and start lathering those jacked pecs, because Apocalypse Video is headed to the jungle for a special tribute screening of Predator in honor of the late, great Carl Weathers. Just be sure to also cover yourself in mud, as well. Youāll thank us later.
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we prepare for the ultimate hunt are fellow cinephiles and elite special forces commandos Mike, Jackie, Ryan, and special guests: Cody and The Fridge.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Predator being the most quotable film Arnold Schwarzenegger ever made; we speculate on what other covert missions Dutch and his team of expendables were up to pre-Predator; and finally, we ask the question thatās been on everyoneās minds since 1987; what do Predators do when they arenāt out hunting?
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
Thatāll do it for this weekās episode, folks. Now, if youāll excuse us, weāve got a choppa to catch. -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Captainās Log, Stardate 3372.7. The Trek Cast remains trapped in the TOS era of Star Trek, and our next assignment is Season 2ās āAmok Timeā. An episode filled with horny rage and awesome fight music. I have instructed my crew to behave themselves during the screening, and not to emulate the insubordinate behavior of Mr. Spock, lest they find themselves in the brig for illogical conduct.
Iām your host and captain, Dave, and joining me again as we travel through the final frontier of the Original Series of Trek are fellow Trekkies Lt. Mike and First Officer Jackie.
Topics of discussion in this episode include a breakdown of Pon Farr, aka: the Vulcan version of the Birds and the Bees; we get a peek into the bizarre and macabre world of the āOmegaverseā; and finally, we wonder if this whole episode was just an excuse for Gene Roddenberry to live out his sci-fi cuck fantasies.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know, but please, only logical answers will be accepted.
The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return with The Paradise Syndrome. -
Let me just say this right now, folks: when someone tells you that hooking up smokestacks to your septic tank will result in a 95% reduction in airborne poo particles, theyāre probably telling you a tall tale. Take us for example. We attach a pair of smokestacks, and before you know it weāre getting hit with lawsuits from people suffering acid burns and even death. But luckily, our old friend Immortan Hoof has provided us with a monster film that just so happens to tackle this very subjectā¦
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we sit down for some Kaiju on Smog action are fellow cinephiles and bonfire-loving hippies Mike, Ryan, Jackie, and Nick āImmortan Hoofā.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Godzilla entering Fatality mode as he rids the Earth of Hedorah with Kano-like brutality; the 60ās are alive and well in Japan as we witness the psychedelic club scene in Tokyo; and finally, move over Mjolnir, because Godzilla has devised an even more outlandish form of propulsion: heat ray flying.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
Thatāll do it for this episode, folks. And donāt forget - stop the spread of pollution! If you see a mound of smog with red eyes, punch through it with your fists! Together we can stop smog from ruining our planet, one glowy goo orb at a time! (This message brought to you by the Apocalypse Video āSave the Planetā Foundation). -
There are those who believe that podcasts here began out there, far across the universe, with tribes of neckbeard film fans who may have been the forefathers of the movie review podcast. Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man who even now podcast to survive, somewhere beyond Apocalypse Videoā¦
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we begin yet another spin off pod series is my faithful companion and trusted advisor, āNickā Immortan Hoof.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the surprising amount of carnage and dog murder in this otherwise cheesy 70s sci-fi show; Lt. Starbuck gives Troy Mclure a run for his money in the sleazy scumbag department; and finally, we learn the all important lesson of space casinos: if itās run by bug-people and you havenāt lost one hand in five hours, odds are youāre about to be turned into bug food.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Whatās your favorite Battlestar episode? Hit us up and let us know!
The Apocalypse Video Battlestar Galactica Original Series podcast (aka: APV-BSG-OG-POD) will return with Lost Planet of the Gods. -
Apocalypse Video Bond-Cast Mission Dossier:
The Target:
1971ās Diamonds are Forever
Your Contacts:
Apocalypse Video (M)anager - Dave
Agents - Mike and Jackie
Mission Objectives:Pay Sean Connery a Kingās Ransom to return to the role of BondUncover the behind the scenes drama between Jill St. John and Lana WoodInfiltrate Blofeldās fake moon landing setAdditional Objectives:
Rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
The Apocalypse Video Bond Cast will return withā¦Live and Let Die. -
We get a lot of whacky customers in Apocalypse Video. Everyone from ptera people to lizard people come into our store not understanding what a movie is, to which we are forced to educate them on the lost art form that was once Cinema. But every once in a while we encounter a customer that is simply unable to distinguish the line between reality and fiction. A person so convinced that what they are watching is real that they are willing to put their own life and the lives of others at risk.
Such a person entered the store recently. And the object of their obsessionā¦? The 1995 hit sci-fi adventure film Congo ā or, as this person stubbornly believes, the 1995 documentary film Congo. Well, letās just say that someone who enters the store wielding a giant laser isnāt someone we want to disappoint. If Congo is what she wants, Congo is what sheāll get.
Iām your host and leader of this expedition, Dave, and joining me as we venture deep into the jungle of Michael Crichtonās imagination (even though apparently he had almost nothing to do with the making of this movie) are fellow cinephiles and TraviCom cronies, Mike, Ryan, Cody, and special guest Herkemina Homolka.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Tim Curry eating as much scenery as humanly possible; Joe Don Baker teaches us that nothing is more important than family (unless thereās a big ass diamond involved); and finally, we canāt help but feel a little bad as Laura Linney mercilessly lasers the filmās primate villains to death.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
And so concludes our expedition into the Congo. Weāll be back next week with an all new Bond Cast! Until thenā¦put down my sesame cake!!! -
Thereās nothing quite like the bright lights of the big city - specifically, New York City. As they say, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere! So you can imagine my disappointment when I found out the Deluxe New York Virtual Getaway package I picked up was actually for Staten Island, New York and not New York City. Thankfully, our Hilton Star Trek Simulator does allow for movies to be shown in a panoramic settingā¦and thereās one movie in our collection that just so happens to feature a killerās row of stars and the great city of Manhattan in all of itās grimy, sleazy, pre-Giuliani glory.
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we try to make it in the big city are fellow cinephiles and off-Broadway stars Ryan, Mike, and Jackie.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Kermitās Don Draper turn; we witness Animal go full spider-mode as he attacks famed character actor Dabney Coleman; and finally, weāre shocked to discover that Jim Henson beat Brad Bird to the punch when it comes to rats running a kitchen.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
Thatāll do it for this episode. Now start spreading the newwwws!!! -
Captainās Log: Stardate 3141.9
After a freak accident thrust our Hilton Star Trek Experience Simulator into a temporal wake, we have found ourselves deposited in the TOS era of Star Trek. Our systems are damaged and our onboard C.H.A.D. computer tells me that it will take several months to fully restore the systems so that we may travel back to our own time - our ownā¦Next Generation.
Though we can leave the simulator at any time - and we are not technically trapped back in time - we find ourselves annoyed with the customers in the store who repeatedly ask if movies like Madame Web or Wonka have hit the shelves yet. We keep telling them that these movies only exist in a parallel universe to ours, butā¦no one listens. For these reasons, Mike, Jackie, and myself choose to stay in the simulator in the hopes that the adventures of Kirk, Spock and McCoy will cure the doldrums of our miserable, nightmare livesā¦.
I am your host and Captain, Dave, and joining me as we turn deflectors to maximum are fellow Trek fans Lt. Mike and First Officer Jackie.
Topics of discussion in this assignment include the bizarre love of dictators from the Enterprise crew; we collectively fan ourselves as Khan lays down a thirst trap; and finally, we ask just what the hell a Reorientation Center is supposed to be?
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know, but please, only logical answers will be accepted.
The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return as things get horny with Amok Time. -
āSomeone didnāt go to Yosemiteā¦ā
The year is 1998. After twenty years and five sequels, the Halloween franchise needed a shot in the arm if it was to compete with the likes of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Enter returning Halloween veteran Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Williamson, and the scariest element of all ā Harvey Weinstein ā to show us all that blood truly is thicker than water.
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me for this blood soaked family reunion are fellow horror fans and Hillcrest Academy dropouts, Nick āImmortan Hoofā, Mike, Jackie, and special guest: Janna.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the emerging trend of sweeping select entries in a franchise under the rug; we wonder why the producers felt the need to leave all of the rejected Michael Myers masks in the finished film; and finally, after a brief peek at the trivia, we learn that legally evil can-not die.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What did you think of Halloween H20? Worst film in the franchise? Or the best? Let us know, we want to hear from you.
The Apocalypse Video Halloween Retrospective will return, along with Jamie Lee Curtis (one last timeā¦at least until the next reboot), with Halloween: Resurrection. See you then, and be sure not to lose your heads! -
Well, we did it, folks. After four and a half years weāve finally hit two hundred episodes. Itās been a wild ride and even though most of us have been killed, brought back, killed again, and forced to watch some pretty god awful movies, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that weāve had the time of our lives bringing the lost art of cinema back to the wasteland. And I know that youāre thinking - surely theyāve got an ace up their sleeve for the big 200! Well, youād be right.
After 199 episodes (and a few attempts on our lives) weāre finally saying goodbye to C.H.A.D. and replacing him with a fully functional anthropomorphic android with all of the bells and whistles! Weāre talking a fully digital sound system; VHS, Laserdisc and Betamax capabilities; and of course, it comes complete with a laundry list of corny jokes. I gotta tell ya, this thing is awesome. Iām totally not experiencing buyerās remorse after spending half of my yearās salary on this marvel of modern robotics. (Nowā¦whereās that C.H.A.D. boot-up disc againā¦?)
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me again are original co-hosts and cinephiles Ryan, Cody, and special guest, Nick āImmortan Hoofā.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the surprisingly lucrative business of clock making; Sam Neill teaches the audience (and his robot) about the birds and the bees; and finally, Andrew Martin goes where no android has gone before: having lots of sex with his ownerās great granddaughter.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
Thatāll do it for this episode, folks. Itās been a great pleasure bringing you two hundred episodes of foolishness and we canāt wait to bring you two hundred more. (Nowā¦whatās a good movie with ā400ā in the titleā¦) -
Another new year is almost upon us, but unfortunately, unlike everyone else in the Wasteland, weāre not partying at the top of a decrepit old skyscraper or pounding motherās milk at Citadel - no, weāre stuck in the store, slavishly devoted to our mission statement of spreading the lost art of cinema to the people of the world. But after this New Yearās Eve night and the film weāve just watched, we may want to re-evaluate that mission statement...because we may have just witnessed the bottom of the cinematic barrel. Something so terrible and vomit inducing that our new mission statement should be keeping this film out of the eyes of the general public for the rest of time, lest everyone gouge their eyes out to prevent themselves from ever seeing this cinematic sludge again.
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we try our best not to perform self mutilation are fellow cinephiles and Jensen groupies Mike, Jackie, and special guest: Kara.
Topics of discussion in this episode include a regular cavalcade of cinemaās biggest starsā¦and Mike Bloomberg; Ashton Kutcher channels Lee Harvey Oswald for his New Yearās Eve performance; and finally, we stay through the credits long enough to witness the most disgusting piece of product placement ever committed to film.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
And so endeth the final episode of Apocalypse Video for this year. Weād like to thank everyone out there for listening and we canāt wait to bring you another year of great movies, okay movies, and hopefully no more of whatever New Yearās Eve would qualify as (Iām gonna sayā¦cinematic bile?) -
Christmas time is here! And that can only mean one thing: Apocalypse Videoās obligatory Christmas episode! And this time weāre not talking about some box office bomb involving Santa Claus, or a precocious young boy running two criminals through a maze of death in New York City -- no, this time weāre doing the ultimate romantic comedy. A film thatās synonymous with Christmas and features not only one love story but eight! Iām talking, of course, about the 2003 modern day classic, Love Actually.
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we try to navigate this charming but convoluted web of love are fellow cinephiles and Billy Mack groupies, Ryan, Mike, and Jackie.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the absolutely bonkers notion that people in airports are happy and filled with love; Alan Rickman experiences all of the downsides of an affair without even getting laid; and finally, we talk about how the filmās most iconic profession of love is also itās creepiest.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
Thatāll do it for this yearās Christmas episode. From everyone here at Apocalypse Video, we hope you feel the spirit of the season in your fingers, in your toes, etc. etc. -
Apocalypse Video Bond-Cast Mission Dossier:
The Target:
1969ās On Her Majestyās Secret Service
Your Contacts:
Apocalypse Video (M)anager - Dave
Agents - Mike, Jackie & Nick āImmortan Hoofā
Mission Objectives:Evaluate the new 007: George Lazenby (and ascertain whether or not his Butt-Chin can double as a deadly weapon)Book a room at Piz Gloria (aka: the United Nations of Babes)Shock the audience with a downer ending
Additional Objectives:
Rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
The Apocalypse Video Bond Cast will return withā¦Diamonds are Forever. -
After weeks of Suburban Commandoās, Lawnmower Men, and cartoon RoboCopās, we here at Apocalypse Video thought it was high time we watched a quality movie from a quality director. Something with comedy, action, and romance; a true crowd pleaser. And what better director to choose than old Sammy Fableman himself: Steven Spielberg.
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we break out of pre-release are fellow cinephiles Mike, Jackie, and Ryan.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Spielberg going surprisingly edgy in his motion picture debut; we bask in the blinding stardom that is 70s era Goldie Hawn; and finally, we pitch our remake of The Sugarland Express with the help of studio A.I. and the hottest up and coming stars from the early 2000s.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
Thatāll do it for this weekās episode. Donāt forget to collect them gold stamps, yaāll! Weāll cya next time! -
With Shocktober behind us, I must admit that Iām a little relieved that our non-stop horror movie marathon has come to an end. Donāt get me wrong, I love Shocktober as much as the next guy, but thirty one straight days of nothing but horror films is bound to wear anyone down just a little bit.
Thankfully, we here at Apocalypse Video happen to have a super computer named C.H.A.D. that can recommend fantastic films based on hyper advanced algorithms that will satisfy even the most jaded of movie watchers.
That said, even hyper intelligent supercomputers can have off daysā¦
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we leave the horrors of Shocktober behind for the greener pastures of 90s action comedies are fellow cinephiles and Hulkamaniacs Mike and Ryan.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the downward trajectory of Hulk Hoganās film career; we talk about how WWE is basically SNL for wrestlers (aka: up and coming actors); and finally, we break down Suburban Commandoās trailer and how a 90s trope became one of our favorite one liners in all of cinema.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
Thatāll do it for this weekās episode, folks. From all of us here at Apocalypse Video we wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and that hopefully the film we discussed on the show didnāt ruin the holiday with its overall crappiness. Cya next week, brother!!! -
COMMAND COM
LOAD BIOS
MEMORY SET
SYSTEM STATUS
OKā¦
SECTOR 2 - APOCALYPSE VIDEO
CARTOON DISCUSSION IN PROGRESSā¦
SUSPECTS: APOCALYPSE VIDEO MANAGER: āDAVEā AND WASTELAND RULER: āIMMORTAN HOOFā
DISCUSSION TOPICS DETECTED:
1. ZIP CHIPS ARE RUINING OUR CHILDRENāS MINDS
2. ROBO TEAMS UP WITH THE ULTRA-POLICE FOR A NEW TOY LINE
3. CLARENCE BODDICKER RETURNS TO UP THE VIOLENCE LEVEL TO TV-Y7
DIRECTIVE 5:
RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE TO APOCALYPSE VIDEO WHEREVER PODCASTS ARE OBTAINED AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.
DIRECTIVE 6:
RETURN TO SECTOR 2 IN THE FUTURE TO ENFORCE THE ROBOPOD WITH MORE ROBO-RELATED CONTENT
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION ā GOODNIGHT -
COMMAND COM
LOAD BIOS
MEMORY SET
SYSTEM STATUS
OKā¦
SECTOR 2 - APOCALYPSE VIDEO
CARTOON DISCUSSION IN PROGRESSā¦
SUSPECTS: APOCALYPSE VIDEO MANAGER: āDAVEā AND WASTELAND RULER: āIMMORTAN HOOFā
DISCUSSION TOPICS DETECTED:
1. ROBO BEATS CAPTAIN PLANET TO THE āSAVE THE ENVIRONMENTā CAMPAIGN
2. ROBO LOSES POWER YET AGAIN
3. ROBO-DOGS
DIRECTIVE 5:
RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE TO APOCALYPSE VIDEO WHEREVER PODCASTS ARE OBTAINED AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.
DIRECTIVE 6:
RETURN TO SECTOR 2 TO ENFORCE THE ROBOPOD WITH: MENACE OF THE MIND
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION ā GOODNIGHT -
Six times the terror... Six times the fear... Six times the thrills...
At long last, the origin of Michaelās Madness is finally revealedā¦via a producer's cut that was too stupid for public consumption. Itās Halloween 6: The Cursed Reshoot - err, I mean, The Curse of Michael Myers.
Iām your host Dave, and joining me as we try to make sense of this goofy retcon is fellow horror fan and Cult of Thorn disciple, Immortan Hoof (aka: Nick).
Topics of discussion in this episode include the baffling ending to the theatrical cut of Halloween 6, which includes what looks like the clone room from Alien: Resurrection; we give Smithās Grove Sanitarium a safety violation for itās randomly placed wall spikes; and finally, we come to the realization that maybe Dr. Sam Loomis wasnāt such a bad psychiatrist after all when it came to Michael Myers - it was that pesky pagan cult undermining his treatment all along.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] Let us know what your favorite scary movies are and what gives you the bugaboos.
The Apocalypse Video Halloween Retrospective will return, along with its franchiseās most famous star, with Halloween H20: 20 Years Later. Until then, keep watching the skies for Thorn! Whenever it appears, we appear!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!! -
Welcome kiddies to the final installment of the Apocalypse Video Shocktober Spooktacular: Cyber Edition. For our last bout of cyber horror, we bring you the 1975 horror classic, The Stepford Wives.
Iām your host, Dave, and joining me as we submit our applications to the Menās Association are fellow horror fans and black eyed automatons Mike, Jackie, Ryan, and Immortan Hoof (aka: Nick).
Topics of discussion in this episode include the unholy hellspawn of Disneyās most deranged imagineer; we talk about the movieās long lasting legacy on horror; and finally, the ending of this film may have ruined boobs for all of us.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] Let us know what your favorite scary movies are and what gives you the bugaboos.
The Apocalypse Video Shocktober Spooktacular: Cyber Edition is now powering down. Weāll see you next year, kiddies. Until then, be wary if your spouse says they want to move somewhere āquietā - you may just be in line for a Stepfording. - Laat meer zien