Afleveringen
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Judith gave birth to her baby boy a few weeks ago, and while the birth was smooth... the subsequent hours and days were not. It was extremely traumatic for both Judith and Alina, who were acutely reminded that babies can and do die.
Thankfully, Judith's son got great care and is alive and well, and they are adjusting to life at home as a family of 5ish (2 adults, 1 dead child, 2 living children, and 1 dog).
This episode was recorded on the day after Judith's birth, while she was in the hospital, and it was all very fresh. We hope you enjoy this episode, but it is pretty raw, and for those with NICU trauma may be triggering. As always, please take good care of yourself and only listen if it feels safe for you.
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Yes, this is a pregnancy announcement ♥️
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL | Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie
- ALAIL | First Time Moms for the Second Time, More About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Today on the podcast, we're welcoming back our resident grief therapist: Dr. Denise Mandel!
We talk to Dr. Denise allllll about support groups. What are they, how do they help, how can you find one? We also talk about why some people DON'T like support groups, and other ways that you can find support in your loss if the group you tried to join isn't working.
Dr. Denise is actively recruiting for a new baby loss support group, so if you've been looking for a kind, supportive provider and a warm, welcoming group of bereaved parents... this is your sign! Reach out to her at [email protected].
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- @griefwithdrdenise on Instagram
- ALAIL | An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom
- ALAIL | Grief Needs a Witness, an interview with Dr. Denise Mandel
- ALAIL | There Are No Silver Linings, an Interview about Making Meaning in Grief with Dr. Denise Mandel
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Hi all! It's a holiday week here in the US, so we're taking the opportunity to release an Instagram live we did back in May to the feed.
In this live, we mainly talk about a then-recent episode of the podcast in which we tell the stories of our losses. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, listen HERE and then come back and listen to all the commentary :)
If you'd rather watch the Instagram Live instead of listening to it (highly recommend), you can do that HERE!
We'll see you back here next week with a brand new episode!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL | Long Story Short, I Survived
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
In this episode, Judith talks about how she's prepping as she approaches the birth of a (hopefully alive) new baby.
How is she thinking about naming her son, after her first son died? What of Aiden's clothes will she put on the new baby? Will she do the same religious traditions, in the same way? How is her mental health?
Preparation for a new baby is always a huge undertaking, but it's even more intense when one of your babies has died.
Update: Judith's baby was born, and he's alive!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL | Maybe Baby (Judith in labor with her daughter)
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process.
This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there was no way to save both her baby and herself. This conversation feels more important than ever with the continued attacks on reproductive healthcare in many states here in the US.
Thank you for listening with an open heart to Emily's story, and thank you Emily for your vulnerability.
Note: We separated out the majority of the medical details of Maliyah's birth into a separate episode for those of you who find pregnancy complications triggering. To listen to that episode for all of the context, go back one in your podcast feed!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- HELLP syndrome - Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets syndrome
- ALAIL | TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
- ALAIL | When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa
- ALAIL | The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)
- ALAIL | From the Other Side of the Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process.
This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there was no way to save both her baby and herself. This conversation feels more important than ever with the continued attacks on reproductive healthcare in many states here in the US.
Thank you for listening with an open heart to Emily's story, and thank you Emily for your vulnerability.
Note: This episode contains the majority of the medical details of Emily's TFMR, and if you find pregnancy complications triggering, we recommend you skip straight to the next episode in which we speak with Emily more broadly.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- HELLP syndrome - Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets syndrome
- ALAIL | TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
- ALAIL | When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa
- ALAIL | The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)
- ALAIL | From the Other Side of the Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)
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Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
The statistics about freak accidents, rare diseases, and the astounding unlikelihood of your baby dying are comforting... until you're the one in a million that has a bad outcome.
Our attitudes about statistics have changed. Let's talk about it.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- The Miscarriage Odds Reassurer
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Listen to Part 1 HERE and Part 2 HERE.This is the last part of our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship has changed since Aiden died. In this part, Ilana gives advice for friends and family of grievers for making their griever feel supported.
We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by Bruce Feiler:
- The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship
- The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones
- The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship
Grab your tissues. This series is a tear-jerker.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Listen to Part 1 HERE.This is part 2/3 in our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how significantly their relationship changed after Aiden's loss.
We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by Bruce Feiler:
- The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship
- The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones
- The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship
Grab your tissues. This series is a tear-jerker.
:::
Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
For the next 3 weeks, we're interviewing Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship was affected after Aiden died. The effect was significant.
We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by Bruce Feiler:
- The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship
- The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones
- The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship
Grab your tissues. This episode (and the subsequent ones, too) is a tear-jerker.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Announcing... As Long As I'm Living podcast sponsorships!
We've released 155 episodes of our podcast, and Alina has edited every single one of them. It's a LOT, and she's tired. We want to ensure that making ALAIL is sustainable so that we can keep going for as long as we have things to say.
There are a couple of ways you can support the podcast (below), and you can hear more about each one in this episode.
1. One-time support
2. Monthly support
3. Episode sponsorships
Our content has always been free, and it will remain free! This is just a way for us to build our community, get to know your babies, and ensure that the podcast sticks around for the long haul. Thanks for considering supporting us!
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Guess what... 3 years out from our sons dying, and we feel "sufficiently" healed to the point that we are not complete and total walking disasters 24 hours a day anymore.
Does that mean we're actually completely healed? Of course not. But it feels good to know that parts of our personalities, relationships, and worlds have recovered more than we ever thought possible.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
We are joined on the podcast today by chaplain Reverend Marcie Brozyna!
Marcie is a bereaved mother to her son Rumi, who she lost at 26 weeks pregnant, but even before that she was a hospital chaplain working with the recently bereaved (or soon-to-be bereaved). We talk about Christian mourning rituals, and especially how they are applied after the death of a child.
We are so grateful to Marcie for her perspective (and her patience as we ask her to explain the literal basics of Christianity... this atheist and Jew needed some education).
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
In this episode of As Long As I'm Living, we talk about an article that caused a LOT of controversy on our Instagram.
It turns out that you are at higher risk for sudden death after the death of a loved one... but in a surprising twist, you are MORE at risk after the death of a spouse than after the death of a child.
At first we didn't really believe it... but the more we talked about it we kind of do! Listen to hear our thoughts, then message us on Instagram with yours!
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Time Magazine: Losing a Loved One is Life Threatening
- Life Change Index Score
- Quora Article: Is it more painful to lose a parent, or a child?
- ALAIL | There Are No Words, an interview with widow and greeting card maker Jess Walker of Five Dot Post
- ALAIL | An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Hello! We're here to give you all a basic life update. What's going on with Alina's IVF journey, how is Judith's pregnancy progressing (yes, we also talk about the intersection of these two things...), and an opportunity to marvel at how much we get done when we're together.
Xo,
Alina and Judith
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
Today we're welcoming Aiden's Dad back to the podcast!
In this episode, we talk to Aiden's Dad about what the past few years since our last interview with him (which you can listen to HERE). During that interview, we talked about the story like it was over, but in hindsight, it was just beginning.
Aiden's Dad talks about grief and trauma aftershocks, depression, the weight of continuing to be a parent and spouse and employee while dealing with your own personal struggles, and so much more.
Thank you so much, Aiden's Dad, for your vulnerability. Wishing a gentle father's day to all of the Sad Dads out there.
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” - Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
It should come as no surprise that we don't subscribe to the belief that time heals all wounds. But what DOES heal wounds, and are all wounds healable?
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- Detritus
- Still Breathing, an interview with Katie Joy Duke
- All About EMDR, an interview with trauma therapist Rebecca Munini
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
In this episode, we talk about how we tell the story of our loss(es). It depends a LOT on the audience, our energy level, and so many other factors. We can't wait to chat about this with you all on Instagram, so head over and follow us so you can join the conversation!
We also take a TOTAL tangent about naked photos so please enjoy our chaos :)
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support -
The title says it all.
In this episode, we talk about what it's like for Alina to be NOT pregnant -- again -- while Judith is pregnant -- again. It's harder than the last time, but probably not as hard as you'd expect?
Note: this was recorded back in January, but it's May, and Alina is STILL not pregnant as of the release of this episode. Send wine.
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Things we talk about in this episode:
- ALAIL | Loose Threads, a Conversation About Unrealized Dreams
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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!
:::
As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support - Laat meer zien
