Afleveringen
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This week, we read messages about a Crunch Crunch opportunity with Armando Iannucci, appropriate farts, a portable ashtray user, Fuck The Suits, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen’s clothes, Judy Dench (again), not listening to Chatabix in the mornings, more jokes, a few quips and another selection of pot-heads.
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After a quick chat about helping out around the house more, Joe wants to talk to David about the TV crime documentary he watched last night, which was set on Mersea Island in Essex. But David then remembers he’s not yet told Joe about his wild camping trip to Sheepstor on Dartmoor, which he absolutely loved. The question is though, will Joe be interested in it enough to chat about it for the rest of the episode - or does he just want to talk about Mersea Island? Plus, in a bizarre left turn, they finish the episode off with a chat about sex shops.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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David’s considering an all-inclusive summer holiday for him and his family this year. But he’s really not too sure about it and wants to get Joe’s thoughts on the matter. The only problem is that Joe’s having to whisper (as Petra is asleep next door) and David’s finding it pretty hard to hear him. So as you can imagine, the conversation flows wonderfully! But they do manage to reach a conclusion on his idea eventually - and also fit in some other chat about quipping, being unsettled by TV programs and what it’d be like to interview Robert De Niro.
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Joe’s starting some volunteering work which involves a bit of running, so he tells David about that. He’s also wondering if a friend of his thinks he’s a bit of a prat - so they have a deep dive into all that too. Plus, Joe’s new phone app, David does some impressions and they chat about Swatch watches and confident people they knew at school. Classic Chatabix drivel - lovely!
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That’s right, it’s a special guest vault episode - Goldie joins David and Joe to chat about Buckingham Palace's gravel and banana cake.
First posted on 7th December 2022
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Amongst this weeks messages, we hear from a happy gardener in The Isle of Man, a magician at a speed-awareness course, send a birthday message to a Swedish Chatabiscuit, then read out a few old pub jokes and a bunch more quips too.
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Following Joe’s failed attempt to ride Hyperia at Thorpe Park, David wants to convince Joe that visiting haunted woods and castles are just as scary as going on a roller-coaster. So knowing that Joe lives quite near to Clapham Wood - a renowned site of ghosts, ghouls and creepy goings on, David sets about telling him everything about the place to get him properly spooked. And then challenges him to visit there in the dead of night.
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In the previous episode, David and Joe promised you an extra ‘cherry-on-top’ for their Thorpe Park Hyperia Roller Coaster ride debrief. So here it is - albeit a slightly rotten little cherry. Apologies in advance for Joe’s poor location audio. Enjoy!
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The day of Joe’s long awaited trip to Thorpe Park has finally arrived and he's made his way there to ride the dreaded Hyperia - Britain’s tallest and fastest roller coaster! What will happen, how will he cope with the nerves and how will he feel after such an exhilarating/petrifying experience. Well, not everything goes quite as planned, in more ways than one. So stay tuned for the full debrief…
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It’s time to revisit another old Chatabix episode. And in this one, as Joe lived in Polperro for 4 months, he tells David about his perfect day there.
First posted on 22nd September 2022
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It’s Mailbag time! And Joe kicks off the show with a very special letter from a Chatabix listener in Australia about Ronnie Barker. That’s followed by messages about an embarrassing encounter with an American sports legend, another littering story, a whole bunch of emails from pot smokers and a load more quips. Lovely!
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It’s about that time for some more TV Joe - and for this episode he’s brought a brand new quiz with him. Essentially, it’s a copy of the Bridge Of Lies TV game show - but with a twist. So there’s David answering questions about Chortle comedians, Joe trying to remember Chatabix episode titles and the two of them battling it out over true or false Patreon's names. Plus, there’s also time for some TV reviews and a couple of sports quizzes from David too. It’s a right quiz-a-thon!
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After joining the gym a while back, David’s finally started using it and Joe wants to know how he’s getting on. As you might expect, David’s a little reluctant to speak about it - but Joe tries his best anyway and we do eventually get some details. Then, in a clever avoidance move, David starts talking about The Gladiators, which he’s loving at the moment. And before you know it, they’ve invented a quiz about the show to test how much of a fan David actually is.
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Joe’s still in Manchester, filming for Cats Does Countdown. So in this episode, David tries to get Joe to tell him about the famous Countdown set and what exactly happens during a recording of the show. Joe’s a little over-tired though, so isn’t particularly receptive to David’s questioning. But when the subject of all the famous people he’s seen at the studios comes up, the two of them get much more animated. So they them embark on a game of ‘Celebrities I’ve Seen’, which last for the rest of the episode.
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A golden oldie from the archives - David and Joe chat about Status Quo's In The Army Now and then David tells Joe about a girl he fell in love with at school.
First posted on 30th September 2022
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Joe’s been filming in Manchester for the past few days and with so much going on there, he wants to use today’s episode to tell David everything that’s happened. Well, that was the plan. But when he kicks things off with an embarrassing story about saying hello to Olympic-star Colin Jackson in his hotel restaurant, things very quick get de-railed. After a bit of digging from David, it turns out Joe’s insecurities about turning 50 are far from over and the dissecting of that takes up most of the rest of the show. Then, in a shock announcement to end things on, David reveals that he wants to start do stand-up again. We certainly didn’t see that one coming!
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David bough £55 of fish from a door-to-door salesman last night. And even though he found the fella very trustworthy and also took his telephone number - now in David’s phone as ‘Charlie Fish’ - he’s now wondering if it might have been some sort of scam? So him and Joe run though all the possibilities, before discussing a number of con-artists that Joe’s come across in the past. It’s a right old scam-fest.
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After a couple of frustrating minutes texting about things they can’t talk about on the pod, David asks Joe about his recent appearance on the Chris Moyles Radio X Breakfast Show. Being such a fan of Chris, David wants to know everything about the experience and especially how Joe managed to remain so comfortable with it all. Which somewhat predictably makes Joe feel very uncomfortable for the majority of this episode.
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Chata-vaults time! And apologies in advance as the audio is pretty ropey on this one. Friend of the pod Ben Rufus Green pops on and chats about his new podcast Metro Retro and Joe regrets showing David and Ben an old copy of playboy.
First posted on 14th June 2022
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After a tough evening at his five-a-side footie match last night, Joe’s again wondering if it’s time to hang up his boots. Is it all now too physically demanding on his 50 year old body? Which leads him and David to wondering about the general markers of ageing and what, if anything, they can do to hold them back. Well, David’s started doing daily morning yoga and Peloton exercises with his wife - so that’s definitely something Joe wants to know more about.
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