Afleveringen
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Resiliency is the theme of this week's episode as host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes speaker and author, Marcie Macari. Marcie's life story has been a master class in resiliency, as she has faced numerous extraordinary challenges, which includes being abandoned and stranded in South Africa with her infant daughter after being shunned by her ex-husband and Christian ministry. Marcie's coming out and acceptance journey spans decades, culminating to her present-day reality of living a joyful and fulfilled life as an out and proud lesbian. Marcie uses her skills and experience to train others to build their resilience and lives by the motto that has become integral to her personal brand: "Bounce, Don't Break."
Find Marcie on TikTok, Instagram, and LinkedIn as @ Marcie Macari.
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Over a quarter of adults are estranged from their parents. One of the greatest concerns that people face when coming out later in life is estrangement from their children. In this week's episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes back guest Miriam Grace for a vulnerable discussion on parent/child estrangement - an often untalked about subject. This is a must-listen episode for anyone who is experiencing estrangement from their children and especially for mothers who, as a consequence of societal expectations of what makes a good mother, are guaranteed at some point to disappoint their children. In this illuminating episode, Anne-Marie and Miriam unpack what those societal expectations are, why estrangement is so painful for later-in-life LGBTQIA+ parents, how mothers bear the load of emotional caretaking for their families, how estrangement impacts surrounding family members, the grief process and getting the help you need to find strength and move forward with your life.
You can find Miriam Grace online at https://blue-skies.org.uk/
For further reading on this topic, check out this NY Times article and and this blog piece on The Hill.
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Krista Oakes is a certified yoga and meditation teacher specializing in working with beginners and seniors. She teaches gentle and chair yoga classes in Daytona Beach, Florida and nationally, online. Krista leads group wellness retreats and teaches yoga and meditations to corporations. Her classes focus on safety, proper body alignment, mindfulness, and trusting oneself. Krista's approach to teaching integrates the mindfulness of meditation, lifestyle coaching, and the compassionate approach of Kripalu yoga rooted in faith and spirituality, with humor sprinkled throughout. Krista received her BA from Muhlenberg College where she first discovered the thrill of expressing herself through writing. As a yoga teacher, she enjoys reconnecting with that joy through blogging and communicating with her students. In January 2024, Krista published her first book, Shedding Shame: Finding Freedom to Live an Authentic Life, where she takes the reader on a journey through her life's challenges. She shares about being a child growing up with gay parents, losing her dad to AIDS, and the shame of her marriage full of dysfunction and mental illness which ended in divorce. Krista shares her path to unravel the shame that held her back, where's she's been, and how she's gotten to where she is today, living her best, authentic life.
Learn more about Krista's gentle yoga programs here: https://www.daytonayogawithkrista.com/
You can find Krista's book, Shedding Shame: Finding Freedom to Live an Authentic Life here: https://www.daytonayogawithkrista.com/sheddingshame
Krista's "coming out" song is Defying Gravity from the musical Wicked: https://youtu.be/MslDnwerQRA?si=ip60m30HHGF0d02N
Two books that have influenced Krista are Daring Greatly by Brené Brown https://brenebrown.com/book/daring-greatly/
and Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33516773-big-little-lies
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Fellow later-in-lifer and Philadelphia-based therapist Mallory Hanfling is our special guest on this episode of CO&B. Her practice, Courage to Grow Counseling, caters to the Queer community, working with individuals and couples, specializing in identity development, coming out, communication skills, and connecting with one's most authentic self. Mallory is a doctoral student at the California Institute for Integral Studies (CIIS) working towards a PhD in Human Sexuality, working on a dissertation about how community mitgates the impact of compulsory heterosexuality on those who come out later-in-life. Mallory coined the inclusive term "Fireflies" for women/ non-binary/trans people to encapsulate a spectrum of identities and experiences reflected in the later-in-life community. Mallory offers a weekly Firefly peer support group where Fireflies at various stages of their journeys can come together to support and empower one another through the highs and lows of their experiences.
You can learn more about Mallory and her work on her website, https://www.couragetogrowcounseling.org/about
Books that resonated with Mallory are Untamed by Glennon Doyle https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52129515 and Bossy Pants by Tina Fey https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/167987272-bossy-pants?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=zHsUsI2...
Mallory's coming out song is Drive by Incubus. https://youtu.be/fgT9zGkiLig?si=g98J8LJ24IjUvXBm
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Lesbian dating – specifically when a long-time out lesbian dates a newly out lesbian – is the topic of this week's episode, featuring guest conversationalist, Tonda McKay. In addition to being an award-winning photographer and community advocate, Tonda holds a very special role of distinction: she is wife to podcast host, Anne-Marie Zanzal! Tonda and Anne-Marie met just as Anne-Marie was beginning her coming out/divorce journey. In this engaging episode, Tonda and Anne-Marie talk about the benefits and challenges of the long-out/newly out dating dynamic, the hurdles they have overcome, and the rewards of perservering through what can sometimes be characterized as a difficult pairing of long-out/newly out lesbians. This is an episode that will be of great interest to anyone who is embarking on a dating journey later in life!
Tonda McKay earned her bachelor's degree in photography at Middle Tennessee State University and has been a professional corporate photographer for over 35 years. She has worked for several Fortune 500 companies, including Philips/Magnavox and DESU, LLC. While working at Philips she received two ADDY awards, which recognizes and rewards the creative spirit of excellence in the art of advertising. In 2001, her coffee table book, A City In Harmony, on Nashville was published. This was a two year collaborative project with the Nashville Chamber of Commerce. Tonda also won several national magazine awards (Best Cover - National Magazine Association) for her editorial work on Business Nashville and Nashville LifeStyle. While architectural photography (including Matterport 3D Imaging) and drone photography is her niche now, Tonda has worked in every imaginable area of photography, from jewelry, furniture, editorial & photojournalism. Tonda likes to say there isn’t anything she hasn’t done in photography and she still enjoys learning new processes and information. She has gone from shooting on an 8x10 view camera to HDR digital photography. She believes photography is ever changing and it is always a journey of learning and growth. When not photographing Tonda enjoys kayaking, travel, and of course scenic photography.
To learn more about Tonda and her work as a photographer, visit https://tondamckay.com/
A song that has special meaning to Tonda are 'She Keeps Me Warm' by Mary Lambert. https://youtu.be/NhqH-r7Xj0E?si=1c3fLiKIE5Rogo0T
A book that has impacted Tonda and she recommends to others is 'Another Mother Tongue' by Judy Grahn. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/64767
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Nita Agustin is a Queer and gender affirming clinical counselor based in Burnaby, B.C., Canada. Their jam is helping Queer youth and young adults find alignment within themselves so they can feel confident showing up in their own skin. This is accomplished by finding words to name their experiences and discover ways to live on their own terms. In this episode, Nita describes coming out in the pressure-cooker scenario of the pandemic, being Queer in Southeast Asian Indonesian culture, emerging and moving on from Catholocism, what it's like working with Queer youth, and much more!
You can find Nita online and learn more about her work at nitaagustincounselling.com
Nita's coming out songs are You Need to Calm Down by Taylor Swift, and Born This Way by Lady Gaga.
A book that inspired Nita is Me, Myself and They by Luna Ferguson. A show that has inspired Nita is I am Jazz.
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This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, we introduce you to media PR expert, April Mason.
April is the President of Violet PR, a busy agency that utilizes new and traditional media tools to craft powerful stories for their clients that shine a spotlight, attract new business, and enhance their public identity. April is also a later-in-life lesbian who learned to embrace all facets since the end of her marriage. Tune in and learn April's coming out story, how she stepped into her power after divorce, and her journey as a leader and business owner.
Learn more about April and Violet PR at https://www.violetpr.com/
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In this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal speaks with transgender advocate and educator, Ben Greene.
Ben is a sought after speaker who has spoken at international events and conferences about topics surrounding transgender inclusion. After coming out in 2015 living in a small town in Connecticut and givng a popular TEDx talk at Brandeis University, Ben has dedicated his career to spreading empathy, education, and storytelling around the trans experience. He has spoken to groups at companies, hospitals, schools, religious organizations and government entities sharing what it means to be transgender and how to show up as an ally. He is a fierce advocate for transgender youth, regularly speaking up for them at the Missouri state capital. When he is not speaking during working hours he is delivering free presentations to parent support groups around the country and spending hours speaking one-on-one with families with newly-out transgender loved ones. He is passionate about educating others from a place of compassion, no matter where they are starting from.
In this episode, Anne-Marie and Ben talk about Ben's coming out experience, what it's like to be queer in New England, the importance of sharing positive and 'normal' transgender narratives and much more.
Ben's coming out song is 'Riptide' by Vance Joy: https://youtu.be/lYoWuaw5nSk?si=BHa6bqGR1y_K1M01
A book that resonates with Ben is Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers.
Ben's book is called 'My Child is Trans, Now What?' You can pre-order it on his website here: https://www.bgtranstalks.com/preorder
You can find Ben online at bgtranstalks.com
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This week, we welcome back psychotherapist Miriam Grace to the podcast! Miriam first joined us in Season 2 to discuss catalyst lesbian relationships and recovering from the end of a first lesbian relationship. Miriam has over 30 years of experience as a humanistic therapist and primarily works with women to tackle life problems associated with sexuality, the end of relationships, empty nest, loss of a parent, and other challenges associated with midlife. Miriam's work focuses on promoting diversity and inclusivity, challenging others to throw out old paradigms, and allow lesbian voices to come through to disrupt profoundly corrupt definitions of "healthy relationships"
In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and Miriam Grace explore themes surrounding the experiences of women in mid-life and coming out later in life. They underscore the biases in psychotherapy that cause queer and middle age women to fall through the cracks and subjugate their voices, lesbiphobia in psychotherapy, the vitality and gifts associated with mid-life, Miriam's research and scholarly publications on the later-in-life experience, challenge destructive lesbian tropes like 'U-Hauling" and "lesbian bed death" and much, much more!
Listen to Miriam's first appearance on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories podcast (Season 2) here: https://annemariezanzal.com/coming-out-beyond-lgbtqia-stories-support-season-2-episode-6-miriums-sto...
Miriam contributed a fantastic piece to Anne-Marie's blog in 2020 about overcoming your first lesbian relationship: https://annemariezanzal.com/getting-over-your-first-lesbian-relationship/
You can learn more about Miriam, her psychotherapy services and her scholarship on her website: https://blue-skies.org.uk/
Miriam recently contributed a chapter to a collection of scholarly articles, "Queering Gestalt Therapy: An Anthology on Gender, Sex & Relationship Diversity in Psychotherapy." You can purchase this book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Queering-Gestalt-Therapy-Relationship-Psychotherapy/dp/1032371099/ref=sr_1_...
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CiCi Reagan is a published author and copywriter who found her calling in message strategy and alignment for all types of businesses, from entrepreneurs to billion dollar corporations. She's also an international advocate for addiction and domestic abuse survivors, covered in Newsweek, Metro, and several award-winning podcasts. CiCi uses their vast life experience, cultivated writing talent, and innate intuition for people to channel her clients words into mind-blowing marketing copy. CiCi teaches and coaches those who want to learn the mechanics of messaging in a simple, straightforward way. Her goal is to help others find clarity in their messages so that they can do what they love and find fun and freedom in business.
Tune in as host Anne-Marie Zanzal talks with CiCi Reagan about their early years of addiction, finding sobriety, surviving domestic violence, and finding joy when under adversity.
Listen on
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coming-out-beyond-lgbtqia-stories/id1569859569
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/27kocr4llm6syHKaeX1x9e
Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5jYXB0aXZhdGUuZm0vY29taW5nb3V0YW5kYmV5b25kLw?sa=X...
You can learn more about CiCI Reagan's work and coaching services at www.reaganeyes.com
#comingout #comingoutandbeyond #comingoutlgbtqiastories #comingoutlaterinlife #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #2slgbtqia #lgbtqpodcast #queer #queerpodcast #podcast #lgbtqauthors #queerauthor #author #antioppression #antiviolence #addiction #addictionrecovery#healing #communication #copywriting
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This week, host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes Dr. Roxy Manning and Sarah Peyton to the show.
Dr. Manning is a clinical psychologist and a certified Centre for Nonviolent Communication trainer. She brings decades of experience to her work, interruping explicitly and implicitly oppressive attitudes and culture norms. Dr. Manning has provided consultation and training across the U.S. and internationally to businesses, non-profits, and government organizations wanting to move towards equitable and diverse workplace cultures. She also works as a psychologist in San Francisco serving the homeless and disenfranchised mentally ill populations. She is the author of "How to Have Anti-Racist Conversations: Embracing Our Full Humanity to Challenge White Supremacy," and co-author of the companion text written with Sarah Peyton "The Anti-Racist Heart: A Self-Compassion and Activism Handbook."
Sarah Peyton is a certified trainer in non-violent communication and neuroscience educator who integrates brain science and resonant language to awaken and sustain self-compassion, particularly in the face of difficult issues like self-condemnation, self-disgust, and self-sabotage. She teaches and lectures internationally and is the author of the "Your Resonant Self" book series. She is Dr. Manning's co-author, as mentioned above.
Tune in as Anne-Marie, Roxy and Sarah about anti-oppression, and anti-racism, compassion, connecting with others in a broken world, how to have hard conversations, and how to have non-violent communication.
Find out more about Dr. Roxy Manning and her work on her website: https://roxannemanning.com/
Learn more about Sarah Peyton and her work on her website: https://sarahpeyton.com/
Dr. Manning's coming out song is " I Sing the Body Electric" from Fame. https://youtu.be/tG-wl2qqD7Y?si=xco-qyfPemNJQA_D
Sarah Peyton's 'power song' is Purple Rain by Prince. https://youtu.be/TvnYmWpD_T8?si=Y-n30GrnARjH13C2
Books that have inspired Dr. Manning are the fantasy series by Mercedes Lackey: https://www.goodreads.com/series/list?id=8685.Mercedes_Lackey
A book that has inspired Sarah Peyton is The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4887.The_Drama_of_the_Gifted_Child
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For years Michael "Tate" Barkley lived his life in shame—of living in poverty, of alcoholism and addiction, of being a closeted gay man. His story may sound familiar to anyone who struggles with feeling “less than.” Now sober through Alcoholics Anonymous, he wants to share his story in the hopes that it will help others to leave their shame behind and discover the peace that they deserve.
His memoir, Sunday Dinners, Moonshine and Men, recounts Tate’s troubled relationship with his father and his journey to overcome shame and the scarcity mindset that blocked his ability to find peace in his life. Tate offers readers a deeply personal account of his dysfunctional childhood, from the backwoods of North Carolina, to his family’s struggles with poverty in Central Florida, and their ultimate move to the boomtown of 1970s Houston, Texas. He details his attempts to repress his sexuality and control his escalating drinking as he became a successful attorney, only to hit rock bottom and lose it all. Tate’s story will resonate with readers as they follow his quest to accept himself and find peace.
Learn more about and follow Tate Barkley at https://tatebarkley.com/
Tate's coming out song is 'Man in the Mirror' by Michael Jackson: https://youtu.be/PivWY9wn5ps?si=goz_6apWwWpdDtY6
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Author Melissa Giberson was a suburban housewife and mother of two who always felt something was missing in her life but couldn't define what that missing piece was. Her catalyst relationship experience caused her to stop and have a head-spinning revelation that she never expected – that she was, in fact, a lesbian. Melissa's incredible journey forced her to consider how much she was willing to risk for authenticity.
On this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, Melissa talks with host Anne-Marie Zanzal about the revelation that dramatically changed her life, her journey of coming out to herself and others, her relationship with faith, and where's she's at today.
You can learn more about Melissa and her work on her website, www.melissagiberson.com
You can find Melissa's book, "Late Bloomer: Finding My Authentic Self in Mid-Life" on Amazon: https://www.amazon.ca/Late-Bloomer-Finding-Authentic-Midlife/dp/1647425190
A book that that influenced Melissa is Sing YouHome by Jodi Picoult: https://www.jodipicoult.com/sing-you-home.html
A movie that inspired Melissa was City of Angels: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120632/
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Lisa N Alexander is CEO of the award-winning creative agency, PrettyWork Creative. Lisa and her team work with clients to help tell their amazing stories through video, strategic marketing communications, and PR. She has directed and produced three documentaries for non-profit agencies and has written her first feature film, "My Father, the Queen." The film is in pre-production, has already won Best LGBT Screenplay from the Best Script Awards London, Best Script from Cannes International Shorts, was a semi-finalist in the Paris Women Festival, and was a BLK Screenplay Semi-Finalist in 2023.
In this episode, host Anne-Marie Zanzal has a conversation with Lisa about what it was like growing up with a closeted father. Lisa shares how her real-life experiences were the jumping off platform for writing her screenplay and talks about identifying and healing generational trauma.
You can learn more about The film My Father the Queen here: https://myfatherthequeen.com/
Learn more about Lisa and her work here: https://lisanalexander.com/
A book that has inspired Lisa is the Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Miguel Ruiz: https://www.miguelruiz.com/the-four-agreements
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Laurie DeJong Zuverink (they/them) is a 53-year-old gender-non-conforming later-in-life lesbian who crashed into the full acceptance of their identity five years ago. Laurie is the descendant of Dutch settlers, and until 2020 engaged in the conservative Protestant Christian community of West Michigan where they lived in the assumption of heteronormative culture while at the same time pressed against them.
Tune in as host Anne-Marie Zanzal speaks with Laurie about their powerful coming out journey, overcoming the constraints of conservative culture and heteronormativity, their gender and sexual journey from struggle to self-acceptance, their experience of ordination into ministry, the spiritual abuse they experienced upon coming out, and eventual path back to an affirming faith community.
Laurie's coming out album is the sountrack to The Greatest Showman, in particularly the song Tightrope: https://youtu.be/He5NctQPXK8?si=lD04DkzXSn-r-pDN
Laurie's coming out book is Richard Rohr's Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life.: https://www.amazon.ca/Falling-Upward-Spirituality-Halves-Life/dp/0470907754
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Amy Nielsen is a divorce attorney and coach with a decade of experience as a family law attorney. Amy is an expert in navigating the emotional, logistical and legal aspects of restructuring families. She is a licensed attorney in the state of California but serves people all over the country as a certified divorce coach. Amy is also a later-in-lifer who came out in her late 30s after 10 years of marriage to a man. She now co-parents her two kids and rescue dog, Pepperoni, with her ex-husband who lives 5 houses away. Tune in as host Anne-Marie Zanzal talks with Amy about her later-in-life journey, the challenges and considerations that come with divorce, collaborative divorce, mediation and much more.
Amy's coming out 'song' is actually the entire Frozen 2 soundtrack, which you can listen to here: https://youtu.be/dpza2z4jmDk?si=KEnQEC6pNqvB2-64
Amy's coming out book was Untamed by Glennon Doyle: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52129515
You can find out more about Amy's services at https://www.bloomlegalcoach.com/
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Mallory Kiersten is a self-love and 'unstuck yourself' coach, Akashic Records reader, joy seeker, and Erotic Blueprint coach in training. Mallory helps her clients connect with their guides, divinity and their higher selves. Tune in as host Anne-Marie Zanzal speaks with Mallory about her coming out experience, emerging from conservative Catholicism, internalized homophobia, shedding gender norms and expectations, and embracing sexuality and sexual pleasure.
Mallory's coming out song is 'Closer to Fine' by Indigo Girls: https://loom.ly/T89tbGQ
A movie that changed Mallory's life is Imagine Me and You: https://loom.ly/YS2LsbI
You can connect with Mallory on her website: https://loom.ly/ivGR-2Q
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Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a therapist, sex educator with a Ph.D. in clinical sexology, author, and Medical Director for the Northwest Institute on Intimacy. Tune in as host Anne-Marie Zanzal has a wide-ranging conversation with Dr. Schermer Sellers about sexuality, gender identity, the harmful repercussions of purity culture on sexuality and relationships, and society's shift towards acceptance of diverse identities.
A film that has inspired Dr. Schermer Sellers is Fantastic Fungi, which can be found on Netflix and YouTube. You can view the trailer here: https://youtu.be/bxABOiay6oA?si=PuezRCCTuuygLoCp
Connect with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers at www.tinaschermersellers.com
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In this special New Year's Day episode of the Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and guest Barbara Rowlandson share details on their upcoming free workshop about coming out later in life. Anne-Marie and Barb talk about the grief and joy, the questions and the experiences that lead people to question whether or not they are straight.
To sign up for the free coming out later in life workshop, visit www.comingoutsupport.net
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Well, that's a wrap on Season 4! And what a remarkable year it has been.
In the final episode of the year, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and podcast producer Barb Rowlandson talk about the podcast episodes whose stories impacted them the most. Listen and we guaranteed to be inspired by the incredible journeys of some truly remarkable LGBTQIA+ people! They also talk about Anne-Marie's second podcast Queer Business Success, that launched earlier this year, and a free educational series for women (cis or trans) and non-binary people who are at the beginning of their coming out later-in-life journey.
Wishing you all a wonderful holiday and new year! Thank you for being a listener; if you'd like to give us a small, meaningful gift, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you!
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