Afleveringen
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Chapter 20 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
EPILOGUE: PART TWO: BEN
Ben waited until his parents were tipsy before he snuck upstairs. Han and Leia were playing Heart and Soul together on the piano in the hotel lobby â if it could even be called a hotel, it was really a motel â quite sloppily. The manager would probably would probably creep out from behind his desk and ask them to be quiet in a matter of minutes, but in the meantime, he could slip away and use the key card heâd secreted out of Reyâs purse during the rehearsal dinner.
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Chapter 19 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
EPILOGUE
The letter was wrinkled and damp with sweat. Rey worried it between her hands, over and over, in the alleyway behind the diner. She was framed, on either side, by garbage, and for a moment, she wanted to throw the letter into a dumpster and pretend sheâd never seen it.
Leaning against the brick wall, Rey smoothed the letter out again, and re-read it. Under intimidating letterhead and an explanation of her deportable status were two words that almost made her laugh: voluntary departure.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Chapter 18 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Ben rang the doorbell of his parentâs house, formally. They stood in front of it, not quite holding hands. Their littlest fingers brushed against each other and then they jumped apart like teenagers.
Leia had always insisted that Rey let herself in, saying that the house was never locked and that she was always welcome. Now, Rey wasnât sure she was welcome at all. She wished for a wig, or hair dye, and glasses. Anything to make her look different, so that she could pretend she was just a girl being brought home for dinner by a boy for the first time. That would be less nerve-wracking than this.
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Chapter 17 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Rey did sleep with Ben on the second date, if it could even be considered a date.
They went to a pizza place and ordered a bottle of wine. There wasnât any awkward, stilted conversation. That is not to say either were comfortable â they sat silently, each jiggling their knees under the table.
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Chapter 16 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
The judge looked, for a moment, remarkably unperturbed. He looked over his glasses at Ben, and then Finn, and then, finally, Rey. He cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at her. âWell, this is new.â
âWeâre not engaged.â Rey told the judge, gesturing helplessly to Ben with her cheap bouquet.
The judgeâs brows rose. âHe seems to think you are ââ
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Chapter 14 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Two weeks later, two minutes after the bell tinkled, heralding Benâs silent, sullen departure from the diner, the door swung open again. Luke stood in the doorway, his hands tucked into his pockets, as if he needed permission to come in.
Rey held a plasticized menu up to her mouth for a moment, to hide her expression, and then gestured, silently, to an empty booth â not Benâs booth, but a different one. Luke sat, and folded his hands on the table. When she approached him, he reached across the tabletop and patted it with his palm, signaling that she should sit down.
It was still early, and there was only one other person in the diner â a geriatric, glaring pancake-eater. Rey slid into the booth, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. âYou just missed him.â
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Chapter 14 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Rey stood behind the cash register, fiddling with the strings of her apron. It was that dark, quiet hour before the daily commute roared to life. It used to be her favorite hour of the day â or, at least, it had been for three months.
She glanced at the corner booth. Every time someone sat in it, Rey had to bite back the urge to say, no, not there. Thatâs his place. Iâm saving it for him. Iâm hoping heâll come back.
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Chapter 13 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
âI can explain.â Rey repeated, futilely. Her words sounded hollow. They were. How could she explain herself? How could she explain the horrible, deep hole sheâd dug herself into him. Sheâd lied to his parents. Sheâd lied to him. Sheâd slept with him.
It was silent in the kitchen for a moment, and her words rung. They echoed off of the dated backsplash and linoleum floors. Then Ben told Rey, in a low voice, that somehow resonated just as much, âYouâd better.â
Reyâs jaw flapped, uselessly. She didnât have the faintest idea of where to start. Perhaps with her hopeless, pathetic crush?
âBen, it was my idea.â Luke voice was more gravelly than usual.
Ben looked sharply at his uncle, and then back at Rey, as if he couldnât quite believe it. âHe put you up to this?â
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Chapter 12 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Rey lay awake for hours.
Benâs breathing was steady and slow, the rhythm of a man perfectly satisfied and comfortable. Her heartbeat echoed in the drums of her ears. It was out-of-sync with the rise and fall of his chest. The sweat and stickiness on her skin made it crawl.
Sometime between midnight and dawn, she couldnât stand it anymore. She climbed out of bed and out of his arms â navigating precariously over his prone body; heâd wedged her against the wall.
Topless, Rey stood by the window and pressed her torso to it. It was still cold outside â it was barely February â but it felt stiflingly hot in the little bedroom. The glass of the window was frosty. It was a relief. She fogged the plane up with her breath, studying her own distorted reflection.
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Chapter 11 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Ben was quiet, hands in his lap in between bites of chicken cacciatore. Leia kept looking at him as if she wasnât quite sure he was real. Hanâs jokeâs kept falling flat.
Perhaps this had been a terrible mistake, Rey thought. She was trying to fit Ben into a mold he simply wasnât made from. She was trying to make him into fantasy Ben. Real Ben didnât have dinner on Sundays in his parentâs dining room.
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Chapter 10 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Rey woke up to a sense of panic she hadnât felt since she was a teenager.
As a teenager, sheâd gotten drunk, lost her virginity, and hadnât used a condom. Sheâd also gotten very lucky â her period had come a week and a half later. Back then, sheâd chalked her mistake up to inexperience. Sheâd assumed he would take care of it. Sheâd been a little unsure of the mechanics of how to even put a condom on. She hadnât known how to broach the subject.
Last night, there had been no good way to broach the subject. Engaged, monogamous, in love people didnât use condoms. Ben hadnât offered, or asked. Heâd probably assumed she was using birth control, because of course she would be, if they were engaged and she didnât plan on giving him the first of his at-least-three children.
Seeing as they werenât actually engaged, she certainly didnât plan on that.
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Chapter 9 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
There were no lights on in Benâs apartment when the lock clicked behind them. Rey stood, awkwardly, by the door, not quite sure where the light switches were. She heard Ben set the box down, and she almost tripped on it.
âEasy.â In the dark, Ben steadied her on her feet, his hands a reassuring brace on her ribs. Then, he kissed her, wrapping his arms slowly around her body and hunching over her. Rey felt her back bend to accommodate his height, and thought it might break, along with her resolve.
âBenâŠâ She realized she said his name a lot, with varying degrees of helplessness. She felt helpless around him. Helpless to tell the truth.
âStay right there.â His voice was husky and she felt the words against her lips, rather than heard them. He disappeared in the dark, and Rey toed the box, nervously.
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Chapter 8 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Ben was hovering at the bathroom door when she emerged, guiltily. She wasnât quite sure why she felt guilty â her relationship with Finn was platonic, and her relationship with Ben was, well, fictional. He was dressed, his hands planted on his jeans-clad hips. It was an accusatory stance, one she imagined parents assumed when their teenagers stayed out late.
âI guess you donât have as much of a one-track mind as I thought.â Rey joked, lamely. Sheâd half-expected him to still be naked.
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Chapter 7 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
Benâs windows were doubled-paned and he had air conditioning. Both, little luxuries in New York. Those amenities stifled the noise of the city â as much as they could, on a weekday â and Rey slept in. Normally, she woke up to the insistent buzzing of her cheap, plastic alarm clock. She slammed it off with unnecessary force and it flew across her tiny apartment. She associated the smell of it with coffee and hash browns and flickering neon lights â time for work.
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Chapter 6 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
âAre you sure you donât want to come home with us for a few days?â Leia fretted, as Ben painstakingly bent over to tie his shoes. He was in jeans and a t-shirt â clothes Rey had never seen him in before. Sheâd only ever seen him in a tailored suit or in a state of undress. Jeans made him look young â among other things. âRey, sweetheart, you can stay, too.â
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Chapter 5 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
âDo you need me to bail you out?â Finn got right to the point when he answered the phone. Rey exhaled heavily, walking slowly down the street and clouding the surface of her cell phone in the chilly January air.
âNo.â
âThey didnât call the police?â
âNo.â She didnât elaborate.
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Chapter 3 of Conscience and Unconsciousness by PontMercy44
âMrs. Solo!â Rey heard the name echo down the dim, empty hospital hallway, but she didnât respond. She didnât realize the nurse was talking to her wasnât until he bellowed, louder, far too loud for a five oâclock in the morning, âMrs. Solo!â
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âWho are you?â The man carrying the newspaper asked her, scrunching up his brow. He looked her up and down, completely befuddled. One by one, the other man, the doctor, and the stormy woman turned to look at her. They wore almost identical expressions of confusion. Rey blinked, speechlessly. The appropriate answer was "a waitress", or "a stranger," or even "a crazy, perpetually single woman whoâs been hopelessly, inexplicably in love with your comatose son for weeks."
Behind her, the nurse huffed, cocking her hip. As if it was obvious, she said, âSheâs his fiancĂ©e.â