Afleveringen
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Picture a relationship caught in a painful cycle: He struggles with pornography, she puts up walls to protect herself.
Things get better for a while when he tries to change, but then life gets busy, old habits return, and trust breaks again.
This pattern can repeat for years, leaving both people feeling hopeless.
One of the biggest challenges? When husbands stay silent about their struggles.
Many wives say this silence feels like secrecy, making it even harder to trust.
But here's the thing - many men stay quiet because they're afraid talking about urges will only make things worse.
In today's episode, we'll cover two game-changing topics:
First, how to talk about urges in a way that actually builds trust instead of destroying it.
Then, we'll dive into practical steps to address and eliminate these urges at their source.
Because here's the truth - while knowing how to discuss struggles is important, the real goal is freedom from them entirely.
Many men tell me they just want to feel normal again. Today, I'll show you how that's possible.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Rebuilding trust after pornography use damages it can feel impossible.
Many couples struggle to know where to start when their relationship feels broken.
Today, I want to share a simple approach to help you heal your marriage.
Many husbands try to prove they've changed by talking about their feelings. But here's the truth: your wife can't just take your word for it.
The real key is to listen to her specific concerns.
Every wife is different, and her worries are actually a roadmap to rebuilding trust. Maybe she's afraid of being hurt again.
Maybe she doesn't understand why things went wrong. These concerns aren't obstacles—they're opportunities.
In this episode I share with you a strategy you can use to utilized the blocks and stuck places as a launching point to actually healing your relationship.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Have you ever felt trapped by urges that seem impossible to control?
Many people struggling with pornography feel like these moments are scary and overwhelming.
Most advice tells you to fight these urges by staying busy or calling a friend. But that doesn't really solve the problem.
What if, instead of fighting urges, you could understand them? What if these tough moments could actually help you heal and grow?
In today's episode, I'll share a different way to handle these challenges. We'll talk about how understanding your urges can help you find real freedom.
This isn't just helpful for you—it's also important for your relationships. Partners will learn how to see real progress and healing.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Get ready to learn a new approach that can change everything
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One of the most important steps in this process for husbands and wives is to better understand their emotions.
Many people ignore or suppress them, but this actually slows down your progress.
Emotions contain important messages.
They send information that reveals an underlying need or something that needs attention.
The sooner you can decode what your emotions are trying to tell you, the sooner you can address the issue and find resolution.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Sexual intimacy is one of the biggest things that is damaged when their wife discovers her husband pornography use.
It can be scary for her to be intimate because of the insecurities and fears that this situation creates –
"Is he comparing me to other people he's seen?"
"Is he just using me as a part of his addiction?"
"I want to be intimate but I don't feel safe enough.. how can we restore that foundation?"
In this episode, I share with you specific things that you can do to rebuild safety and security so your sexual intimacy can improve.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Welcome to today's first mini episode!
I'm testing something new and am going to do a podcast that's less than 5 minutes long that gives you a specific tool to implement or a thought to consider.
These will be designed to give you something actionable that you can implement quickly to see changes fast.
In today's episode, I share with you a specific thing that you can do if you struggle with personal or relationship setbacks.
If you seem to keep hitting the same wall or struggle to maintain progress, this episode is for you.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Sometimes when a husband is making good progress personally and in the relationship, his wife has fears and doubts:
“How can I know that he’s telling the truth?”
“What if he’s just gotten better at hiding it?”
“it's scary to bring down my wall because I don't wanna get hurt again…”
This can be discouraging for both people, especially if a husband really is doing well.
He can feel deflated and hopeless thinking that there’s nothing he can do to make things better.
In this episode, I share with you specifically how to handle these situations and how you can build safety in a way that eases the fears and discouragement that both people can feel.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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In this episode, I reflect on a powerful moment from a couples counseling session where a wife expressed feeling overwhelmed by the journey ahead.
I shared a mindset shift with them: it’s not about 100 steps—it’s one step done 100 times.
Inspired by Bruce Lee’s quote about doing 10,000 kicks, rather it's practicing 1 kick 10,000 times, we’ll explore how true progress comes from simplifying and focusing on a few key actions repeated consistently.
Join me as we break down the most important elements to prioritize in your individual and relationship progress, helping you grow faster, avoid burnout, and stay focused on what truly matters.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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A lot of couples feel stagnant on this journey and don’t make the progress that they hope and it’s slow and discouraging.
And what I’ve come to recognize as one of the most important aspects of this work is clarity.
If you don’t have perfect clarity about what the unresolved issues are, what’s causing them, and how to address them, then progress is slow.
Many women feel a lack of security or trust in their marriage because the pornography use hasn’t been resolved.
Many husband struggle with urges and temptations that they want to overcome.
Today I want to share with you a 3 step framework I use with all of my clients to help you get traction towards resolving problems quickly and start to see results instead of both of you just feeling discouraged.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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When a relationship is damaged by pornography use and dishonesty, many couples wonder if it's possible to actually fully rebuild trust again.
There are often lots of staggered or trickle disclosures, which caused a lot of damage to the trust.
So can it actually be rebuilt again?
The answer is yes.
But it requires a very specific approach and that's what I want to share with you in today's episode.
The more clarity you have about what steps to take and how to rebuild trust, the more you can focus on taking the right actions and start to see progress in your relationship.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Are you and your spouse tired of arguing about the same thing over and over again?
Are you feeling stuck not knowing how to find closure and repair the damage of pornography use in your marriage?
Most couples get stuck when discussing the pain and hurt they feel and conversations end in fights or distance.
In today's episode, I want to share with you, one specific tool that you can implement immediately to have better conversations with each other.
And when you know how to have conversations in a way that creates closure, you can discuss any difficult topic without it spiraling into an argument.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?
Email me here:
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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When a man struggles with porn pornography use, it can cause a lot discouragement and fear for both him and his wife.
So many women live in constant anxiety that the other shoes going to drop and they're gonna get hurt again.
Husbands often feel an underlying sense of inadequacy because they haven't been able to quit despite their best efforts to stop.
In today's episode, I share with you some specific things you do in order to break out of the negative pattern and find hope of overcoming this issue.
Is the difference between managing your triggers and actually being free from them, and that’s what makes progress and growth sustainable.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Mike struggle with pornography for 30 long years.
The feelings of hopelessness and anxiety debilitated him at times because no matter what he did to quit, it just didn’t bring him the freedom he was so desperately seeking.
He found this podcast and discovered that there was a new way to approach things after listening to some episodes.
He decided to reach out to work with me and he felt an immediate change even after the first call (which he’ll share in the episode).
Now that he’s finished with the process, he say’s the freedom he now enjoys in “indescribable.”
He wanted to share his experience to help other people learn what helped him on his journey and to give hope to those who feel discouraged.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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When pornography use is discovered in a relationship, it obviously has such a huge impact on a wife.
Understandably, she takes it very personal. It makes her question everything about the relationship, him and herself.
She'll often and wonder if she good enough for him? Does he actually love her? If so, how could he have done this? What does all of this mean for me and for us?
These are very difficult questions that she asks, and it comes from a place of broken trust and security.
In the healing process it's very important to have these questions answered and to reconcile how he could've done this if he does love her.
In today's episode we deep dive on how to make sense of all of this and how to start to heal your relationship.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Have you ever struggled with feelings of an adequacy or not being accepted?
And has that been a trigger for you in the past that has led you down the path towards pornography use?
If so, you’re not alone. In fact this is a really common trigger for a lot of guys because feelings of rejection or failure or not being enough create heavy negative emotions that we want to get away from.
In this episode, I'm doing a live call with Steve, where we deep dive into his feelings of inadequacy to help him break these beliefs and create new thought patterns that build self-esteem and self-worth.
Along to hear how we approach this so you can apply the same tools in your life and overcome feelings of self doubt and shame.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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I once worked with a woman who was completely overwhelmed because her husband continued to struggle with pornography use.
She was at her wits end.
She felt like a ball of anxiety always waiting for the other shoe to drop and could never really feel comfortable in her skin and safe in the relationship.
The moment she started to let her guard down it just so happened that he would mess up again.
They had been in this loop for the past 10 years of their marriage.
When she reached out, she asked me this specific question – how do I handle it so that this doesn’t bring me down and it takes a day or week to deal with it?
We had a conversation that day, and I shared with her a couple of thoughts that helped to soften the pain of betrayal she was feeling.
I want to share those with you as well so you as a husband or wife, listening to this can know how to find or provide some relief as you’re working on repairing things.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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It's very discouraging for both a husband and wife when a man gets stuck in the cycle of falling back into pornography. Use every few weeks or months.
In this situation, a wife feels continual anxiety, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
A husband feels discouragement and hopelessness feeling like he's not making progress despite his best efforts.
In this episode, I share with you exactly how to break this cycle for good and how you can create safety in your relationship, knowing that the root of the problem is resolved and the pornography use is eliminated.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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When pornography use is discovered in a relationship it undermines the very foundation and security.
It often creates suspicion, fear, uncertainty, and a total lack of security and connection.
After having worked with hundreds and hundreds of couples, I want to share with you the three of pillars that I've seen help create connection and security, faster than anything else.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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One of the biggest fears that women have in this process is that her husband will return to pornography since she won't know about it.
She’ll bring down her wall, start to trust him again, and then the other shoe will drop and she'll be devastated again.
How can she know if he is still stuck in his pattern?
If there’s been dishonesty in the past, how can she know if he is telling the truth or not now?
It's critical for a husband to demonstrate change in a way that helps her to believe him again.
It's very discouraging for him when he really is trying and is making progress, but no matter what he does he feels down when she doesn’t believe him.
In this episode I'll share how you can approach this together to help build security and confidence that things really are different as a result of the new actions he's taking.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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Have you ever wondered why you haven't been able to quit pornography permanently?
Do you feel like you know the tools but just aren't using them in the moment you need them most?
If the tools you've been trying to implement haven't brought you freedom yet, you're using the wrong ones.
This creates a problem in a relationship as well –
A woman can't trust her husband who keeps returning back to pornography, even if he is trying his best.
There's nothing wrong with you, it's just the approach that you've been taught isn't working.
In this episode, I share with you how you can identify what tools you need to be using instead and how you can change your approach to really get traction and find success.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Click here for info to work with me directly.
Join the free, private men’s community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support.
It's even better because it's not on Facebook anymore, it's on a much better platform that will facilitate a lot more support and help for men:
Join the Private Group Here
Get access to my trust building workshop:
Rebuild Trust Workshop
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
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