Afleveringen
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As dads of children with disabilities, one of the hardest truths we need to face is the isolation and loneliness that comes with the territory of parenting a child with a disability.
In many ways your life as a disability parent may mirror your child’s own experiences, such as less friends, less places you go, more social anxiety, more reasons to stick to routine.
In this episode I confront the difficult reality of loneliness as a disability dad and share my perspective in the hope you can relate and it validates what’s going on in your reality as you are doing your best.
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How can you try and be your best as a disability dad? Try starting by finding what works. For your child’s therapy, for their needs and most importantly for you as a dad.
Living by the code is a mantra that many people have adopted to guide their lives, and something that works for Peter. It’s a set of principles, values and beliefs that help him navigate through the man at challenges that come with disability parenting.
Peter shares why living his personal code, doing the work and ultimately “finding what works” is the real key to balance and happiness as a dad
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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There is the event itself and then there is the story we tell ourselves. Too often we exaggerate the story and get into unhealthy thinking patterns about our ability to stay calm and dela with challenges as das of kids with disabilities.
Perception precedes action. The right action follows the right perspective.
It is so easy in the day to day challenges of juggling dad responsibilities to let our internal judgements of events actually change how we perceive them.
What if you could use this knowledge to change all that and change your perception to then change your thoughts and actions for the better?
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On the season 3 opener I share my experiences about a very relatable challenge we all face as dads of kids with disabilities in terms of navigating whether we choose the path of least resistance of the predictable world of routine or whether we brave the unknown exploration of the new unpredictable world to potetnially find other experiences our kids may enjoy just as much or even more.
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I made a commitment when I started Dad-ability that I would openly talk about the struggles as well as the successes and practical strategies. This episode is me at my most vulnerable. It’s raw. It’s honest and it’s something every parent of a child with disability can relate to. What happens when everything becomes too much? What happens when you reach your limit? What happens when you don’t have all the answers. On todays episode I don’t have the answers, but I wanted to share this experience in the hope next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed that you talk about it too, you ask for help and support and you don’t judge yourself for feeling this way.
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Coming to terms with grief of the life you thought they would have is an ongoing challenge for many parents of children with disabilities. What can we learn from our beautiful unique kids about how to deal with it better? I offer a personal perspective grounded in a ‘Peter Pan’ Mentality of youthful adventure, freedom and innocence that knows no limits and the child like ability to beleive in the possibility of flying
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The most common question I get asked is what advice do I have for dads who has just received a new disability diagnosis for their kids. I have summarised my top 5 tips I have learned so far from my own experiences to help a dad come to terms with the diagnosis, how to handle it, and what to do to start getting into action and supporting your family
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On todays episode Ivan shares his unique journey in navigating and understanding the discovery of his daughter Naomi’s rare genetic condition SATB2 -associated syndrome and opens up about his struggles over the years of seeking and getting the info he needed which lead him and his wife to start a not for profit (SATB2 Gene foundation Australia) to help other families and share the knowledge they have gained over the years. For more information on SATB2- associated syndrome you can head to the website https://satb2.org.au
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Somethings that unites everyone as a parent of a child with disability is the guilt we carry, and wrestle with each day. It can be heavy, draining and at times debilitating. Juggling work and caring responsibilities is one of the hardest challenges facing dads and can come with extremely intense guilt. On this episode I share my personal experiences wrestling with guilt to hopefully show you that you are not alone in this battle and whilst guilt may always be there and may sometimes win the battle we can be victorious in the war !
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How do you cope when you are confronted with a reality that is undesirable and not what you had hoped? Do you ever feel or say things aren’t fair? Why is this happening to me? On todays episode I discuss Radical Acceptance and how we can learn that everything has meaning and value we just need to have a willingness to experiences our lives just as they are and to squeeze the juice 🧃 to help us move forward
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Does your son or daughter experience behaviour of concern? Do you wish you understand what’s causing their meltdowns and how you can help? I’m stoked to continue our support series and chat to friend and behaviour guru Erika Gleeson about behaviours of concern. Erika is a senior behavioural specialist, disability consultant, founder and CEO of autism swim and has dedicated her career to the world of behaviour and inclusion. On todays episode Erika unpacks why behaviours or concern are functional in nature, helps us understand the triggers, how we can improve our responses, and provides some super practical strategies to try if you are battling behaviours of concern with your children. If you are looking for a behavioural specialist to support your child and family then reach out to these organisations for help: Ability Options https://abilityconsultants.com.au/ or CPBS https://www.cpbs.com.au/ for more information and to find someone in your area.
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Welcome to the first episode of our support series where we chat with the experts who provide support to our children living with disabilities and also to us as dads and our families. On today’s episode I hat with clinically trained psychologist Sam Van Meurs who shares his insights as a dad and therapist with 15 yrs of clinical experience in psychology working with dads and families. We discuss why it’s okay to get help and why investing in your mindset and how you think can really have a profound impact on how you handle the challenging situations we find ourselves in as dads of children with disabilities who can’t pour from an empty cup.
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Life can be overwhelming parenting children with a disability, and any given day can quickly turn into chaos and challenging to deal with. On todays episode I share a personal framework that I developed for finding CALM in the chaos based on my experience and perspective. It is very practical and easy to remember and can be applied in both the immediate here and now situation that pops up from nowhere (ie meltdown or behaviours of concern in a public setting) and also the long term macro view of when a series of events after the other seem to pile up into a feeling of chaos and being out of control.
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How do you cope when things fall apart? What happens when you fall short of your own expectation? Or you simply just lose it in a heated moment?
Often the losses in life teach us far more than the wins. So often the answer is hardwork and the questuons is irrelevant. On this episode I share my experience of shifting from a place of anger, sadness and disappointment ion yourself to being able to reclaim some control back and move forward. By harnessing your rituals, anchoring in what has worked for you in the past and building your self belief wall you can bounce back to quickly shift your mindset into a place of being in control not letting the waves crash down around you and feeling helpless to stay afloat. -
Are you playing big or small? Are you leaning in or avoiding? What are you doing for you? We can all carry carers guilt and prioritise our kids above ourselves because of their higher and unique needs but how are you living your best life? When you look back at the book of your life, how good was the book? This episode is a call to action for all Dads in the arena to ask yourselves ‘why not?’, to keep striving valiantly, and remember there is no effort without error or shortcoming. The credit belongs to those who play big and live your highest and best life knowing that in order to achieve success you must also accept defeat but at least if you fail, you fail while daring greatly not sitting on the sidelines watching the days go by.
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Being a dad of a child with a disability comes with a higher degree of difficulty and at times can feel like you are trying to execute a handstand inverted pike, triple somersault of the 10m platform. Life is full of challenges and it's totally normal, and understood that you will struggle from time to time. Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strength, you need to look within yourself and stay present as a dad to how your child is progressing and developing from their struggles too. We all gain strength through practice and making efforts to learn from previous behaviours and mistakes. I share this honest and raw account of a recent struggle and the opportunity this adversity created to build strength for both me and my son.
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Do you ever feel like you could or should be doing more as a dad? Have you struggled with your mental health? Having a child with a disability increases the degree of difficulty in handling everyday stresses. On todays episode I chat with Earl who shares his experience in how his self awareness has helped him to shift to healthy dad mode in challenging his negative thoughts. He has also learned to practice self care and to be kind to himself when accepting the uncertainty and additional layers of life.
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On this Father’s Day edition we are celebrating all things Dad-ability and I’m joined by 2 dads from the Whatability dad community in Jake and Campbell who offer different perspectives. Jake has worked in the disability sector for 10 years and in his current role at Whatability he uses his learned experience in supporting families and kids with high needs and disabilities to help him in his everyday role as a dad to 3 kids under 5. Campbell is dad to 15 yr old Charlie who is neurotypical, and 13 yr old Will who is autistic (ASD3) and non verbal. Campbell has seen first hand the positive difference Whatability has made to his son, his family unit and his happiness as a dad. Let’s celebrate Fathers Day with double the dads and a big thanks to the team at What Ability for the important work they do in our community.
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Mind over mood. Change how you feel and act by changing the way you think. What might be a more helpful way to think about this situation? What would you advise a close friend with the same thought? Are you overestimating the likelihood of something bad happening? You are not alone. It’s totally normal to have automatic thoughts and let emotions drive how we think sometimes but we can train our mind to ensure we respond versus react! By understanding how we think we can then challenge our beliefs and thoughts to form a stronger pathway that leads to a more effective, helpful and realistic outcome
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In this first season finale I reflect with pride 365 days after first checking myself into a mental health hospital on my learnings, progress and gratitude. I didn’t think I could change, felt out of control and felt hopeless and hopeful at the same time. A year on I’m now the strongest mentally I have ever been and feel equipped with skills and knowledge I need to be the best dad I can be for my family.
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