Afleveringen
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Simon Thomas is a well known TV presenter, and broadcaster, best known for hosting Soccer Saturday on Sky. He is also a father who went through a tragic loss and became a solo parent to his son, Ethan. After navigating grief together, Simon found love again and has added a daughter to his family.
After growing up in a stable home with a father who was strict but fair, Simon has fond memories of his childhood. Although his dad was never an emotional man, he was more able to show his emotions as he got older and would express his pride in Simon.
After becoming a dad at 36, Simon was loving parenthood with his wife Gemma. Sadly she became suddenly unwell and died just days after being diagnosed with cancer. Simon was thrown into navigating grief with his son but luckily, he found support that helped them through.
Since then Simon has gone onto find love again with his wife Derrina. They have a beautiful baby girl who was born 8 weeks premature, After her dramatic entrance, their daughter Talitha has gone from strength to strength and is a healthy bundle of joy!
Simon is a truly inspirational father and we're so thankful to him for joining us 💙
Time Codes
2:54 - "When we all look back on our childhood there is rose tinted spectacles but without that, mine was great!" - Simon on his childhood.
4:40 - "My dad was strict, not overly strict… my biggest telling off was when I dropped the F-bomb!" - Simon's dad was firm, but fair!
6:10 - "He was more open about how he felt about me" - How Simon's relationship changed with his dad as he got older.
13:55 – "I couldn’t wait… I always wanted to be a dad," - Becoming a dad.
17:36 - "That moment between getting rid of the dirty nappy and putting the new one in place is key!" - Remembering how to care for a baby after 13 years!
22:52 - "I got home at 7, by 7:20 Derrina called and said they have to deliver the baby today." - Simon's daughter was born 8 weeks early.
31:08 - "They were saying it was going to be 5-6 weeks." - Coming home without their baby.
34:45 - "He is so lovely with her... at the moment she just stares at him!" - Ethan and Talitha's relationship.
36:41 - "Three days after diagnosis… I was told she had hours left… Everything changed." - Simon talks about losing his first wife, Gemma.
45:34 - "The hardest conversation I ever had to have… I had this sick feeling of how do I do this." - How Simon felt having to tell Ethan about his mum
49:33 - “He said what happens now… he was trying to figure out what life will look like. I didn’t know” - Navigating grief with a child.
55:44 - "Being able to cry is really important for how he navigates… I want him to know it is OK to cry, you’re not weak." - Why sharing his emotions with his son is so important to Simon.
01:04:30 - "Without it I don’t know what the last few years would have looked like” - Simon his his faith helping him through his loss.
01:09:38 - Simon's Dad Superpower.
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David Lammy is a father of 3, member of parliament and a champion for dad’s rights in the family. He grew up in London and represents the ward of Tottenham as a labour MP. He is also the Shadow Secretary of State for Foreign, Commonwealth and Developmental Affairs.
David’s father was a charming, friendly guy but was hiding a problem with alcohol and could be unpredictable in his moods. He left the family when David was around 11 years old which has had a huge impact on his life.
After becoming a dad in his early 30’s, David realised there was a lack of support for fathers; particularly young parents. This has shaped his political career and he campaigns for an overhaul in the paternity system in the UK.
David also tells us about getting into therapy, the amazing support he gets from his psychotherapist, and raising children with modern problems and worries, such as knife crime.
This is a brilliant chat with an inspirational father and we’re so grateful to David for joining us 💙
Time Codes
1:42 – “He was a charming, friendly kind of guy... but he had a problem with alcohol" - David on his complicated relationship with his father.
5:51 - "He disappeared in my first year at secondary school...It was a big struggle for me" - The impact of David's father leaving the family.
12:55 - "I was fortunate, I had wonderful God Fathers… these were great, great guys." - The positive male role models who stepped up to support David.
15:22 - "I am now the father of three children, two older boys who are birth children and one adopted daughter." - David tells us about becoming a father.
21:12 - "There is a window where it is painful and you can get quite low and quite depressed!" - The challenges of parenthood - particularly the sleep deprivation!
24:24 - "There are moments when you don’t want to add to the burden, and there are things around masculinity and fatherhood that you feel you want to share with another guy" - Why having good support from other fathers is so important.
29:26 - "We just haven’t got the situation for fathers we should have... proper, paid, transferrable parental leave that extends for up to a year." - What David thinks paternity leave in the UK should look like.
36:37 - "I’ve got a psychotherapist because I can afford one… it is incredibly helpful" - David on accessing therapy and how helpful it is for him.
43:20 - "We tend to watch films… That is the way we can have a conversation about the challenges of race." - How David relates and talks to his children about race.
49:08 - David's Dad Superpower
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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*** Trigger Warning - In this episode we discuss topics that may be triggering for some listeners, namely suicide and child loss. If you're affected by any of the topics in this episode you can find support here***
Ian Russell is a producer and director in television, working on TV dramas, royal weddings and some of the biggest sporting events in the world. He is also an inspirational father and campaigner for online safety.
After growing up in an idyllic childhood, with a close family and a strong, present father, Ian always wanted to be a dad.
He went on to have three daughters and describes fatherhood as the biggest job in the world, that comes without a manual! Ian loves being a dad and was recreating the idyllic life he'd experienced for his own family, until tragedy struck.
Ian's daughter Molly sadly took her own life at just 14 years of age, after struggling with seeing extremely graphic unregulated content on social media. Ian and his family fought to have a full inquest into Molly's death that has led to campaigns around online safety and regulations for all users. But, especially those most vulnerable - our children. They've also started a charity to support young people struggling with online content and worked with legislators to introduce the UK's first online safety bill.
Ian is an inspirational father and his strength in sharing Molly's story is awe-inspiring. We are so grateful to Ian for joining us 💙
Time Codes
2:08 - "Life was amazing for us... but at the time you think it is just normal!" - Ian shares his brilliant childhood on the Sussex Downs.
4:30 - "There was a lovely, caring but also letting you stand on your own two feet attitude" - Ian's relationship with his dad.
7:18 - "It is the biggest job in the world and you don't get a manual to find out how to do it!" - Ian on becoming a father.
13:48 - "There was a part of my life that existed before Molly’s death and the part after" - Ian shares the impact of the loss of his daughter, Molly.
17:40 - "She was one of the most caring people I had ever known" - Ian tells us about Molly.
19:48 - "I had no doubt really quickly that social media helped kill Molly" - How Ian discovered the impact social media had on Molly.
32:10 - "If you discover something that is dangerous you try to do something about it." - Why Ian is channelling his loss into making changes around social media.
36:40 - "We’re a tiny charity but we have a big voice which is heard by many" - Ian on the Molly Rose Foundation and the crucial work they're doing.
40:45 - "An expert consultant psychiatrist… he said I can’t imagine what it would have done to a 14 year old" - How the images Molly saw impacted professionals at her inquest.
45:33 - "Some of the content Molly saw over 5 years ago is still available… they haven’t removed it" - Social media still hasn't learnt from what happened to Molly.
47:13 - "Molly wrote… "I need you to live long, stay strong, I will see you in a little while when you’re old and gray"… it helps you find a way to keep going." - Molly's message to Ian keeps him finding a way forward.
53:10 – Ian’s dad superpower.
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This week Nigel is joined by the music producer, musician and father, Olugbenga Adelekan.
As a musician, Olugbenga does a lot of travelling. Despite this he was ready for parenthood but when his son Ravi was diagnosed with a brain tumour at age 7, his parenting journey took a turn. The tumour was removed but that surgery has left Ravi with lasting symptoms. Olugbenga as any parent would, found this time hard. Listen as we find out exactly how he has coped.
We're also joined by a special guest in the episode... Olugbenga's wife, Bethan, who shares another perspective of this thought provoking and inspirational story.
In 2022 to mark the first anniversary of Ravi's surgery, they worked with some world renowned musicians to record a song, which they released to raise money for Brainstrust and the Brain Tumour Charity.
The single has raised over £89,000 so far, and the total is still climbing!
Thanks to Olugbenga and Bethan for joining us 💙
Time Codes
2:24 - "My wife understands the industry… choosing to be in a relationship with a musician she knew this moment would come" - Olugbenga on being a musician and becoming a father.
06:58 - "They are old enough to come out to some of the shows now and see what I do… they see some of it is actually pretty boring!" - How Olugbenga shares his work with his family!
11:05 - "It is difficult at the moment to get him to see that his sister is 4 and he is 7 so we can’t parent them in the same way" - How parenting two children of different ages has it's challenges!
13:41 - "The day of the MRI that evening I got a phone call from the consultant… The scan showed a growth, they said you need to take him to the hospital immediately." - Finding out Ravi had a brain tumour.
17:48 - "It isn’t necessarily rational but we felt we should have noticed something serious was up sooner." - How the feelings of guilt have affected Olugbenga.
20:21 - "One of the things they did say was “you need to be strong for your family”… They’re still very old school!" - Olugbenga's family reactions to his son's tumour.
23:19 - "As I got older, I learnt to not act out so much. The way that manifests itself is not showing my emotions so much." - How Olugbenga's childhood taught him to hold in his emotions.
26:50 - "We’ve been open with him about the aspects of his care that we found angering and frustrating. We come out and talk about it." - How Olugbenga supports Ravi with his feelings around his tumour.
29:42 - "Knowing that his tumour is going to affect the rest of his life… there’s been a grieving for what we thought his future was going to look like before." - The feelings of grief that come with having a child with a serious illness.
24:04 - "We have just started family therapy with Ravi…" - How Olugbenga and his wife are supporting Ravi with his feelings around the tumour and the changes in his life.
34:04 - "Bethan and I have dealt with this in different ways… she is more emotionally expressive" - The differences between Olugbenga and his wife!
40:30 - "We have just hit past £70,000. The goal is to raise a quarter of a million pounds. The charity’s we’re raising money for really helped us" - Olugbenga tells us about Ravi's brilliant charity single.
44:03 - "There’s a dad who has really supported us... It would be great for other people to know it is there too." - Why raising awareness of these charities is so important to Olugbenga.
45:31 - Olugbenga's Dad Superpower... in fact, he picks two!!
47:48 - We’re joined by Bethan, Olugbenga’s wife, who shares her side of their story!
51:31 - “How can he express that to Ravi, that is what Ravi needs… it is also what Olugbenga needs” - Why family therapy is so important for them all.
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Josh Connolly is making waves in the mental health world. He is one of the UK's most influential mental health advocates and has spoken in the House of Commons, to help shape mental health policy, but life didn’t start there.
Josh grew up in a household with an alcoholic parent, which had a massive impact on his life. He remembers a lot of feelings of fear and shame and by the time he was 12 Josh was using alcohol.
Cut to 24 and Josh was a dad to four children and separated from their mum. That's when he realised he needed to stop drinking. He joined a 12 step programme and got sober, but all the emotions he'd been suppressing came back.
Hearing Josh's story of going from a dark, deep depression, to using his experiences to help other people is truly inspirational. We're so grateful to Josh for joining us 💙
Time Codes
1:51 – " I grew up in quite a frightening environment… one that was steeped in a lot of shame" - Josh shares his upbringing.
4:47 - "When people were telling me to be brave, I think they were terrified of the feelings I needed to express." - Why trying to fix our children's emotions is more difficult than trying to help them.
10:10 - "I have to notice how regularly I can’t be there emotionally for my children and what brings that up." - Josh tells us how he ensures he is there for his children.
15:02 - "Our common belief is men don’t do them… they do them, in a space where they feel it is acceptable and safe" - Josh on men and showing emotions.
18:58 - "It was a terribly dark place for me, but when I made the decision it felt like the right thing to do" - Josh tells us about planning to take his own life, and what stopped him doing it.
23:55 - "I made a commitment to myself to be as gut level honest with myself and the people around me as I could" - What helped Josh seek support when he was at his lowest.
26:48 - "I am a compulsive people pleaser… It is a coping, protection mechanism, but it keeps me alone." - Josh tells us how his childhood still impacts him.
30:12 - "I remember vividly with my first daughter… I thought was you need to get as far away from me as you possibly can, there is no way I can show up for you in the way that you need" - What scared Josh the most when he became a father,
35:18 - "Regrets is different to blame… I was doing the best with the tools that I had at that time." - How Josh reflects on his mental health issues.
38:36 - "Since the time I nearly took my own life… the main bulk of the work I had to do was learn that the ways I felt made sense." - Josh on healing from his childhood and moving forward.
40:49 - "We launched a campaign because we realised that there has never been any funding for children of parents affected by a parents drinking" - Josh's work with NACOA
44:13 - "It is more strange in our society for me to be a sober dad than it was a drunk one." - How society views being sober over drinking as a parent.
46:31 - "Those moments of total presence with my kids is what I live for… they’re beautiful." - Josh's favourite part about parenting, and how he achieves it.
49:56 - Josh's Dad Superpower!
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Rickie is a TV and radio presenter, currently hosting a daytime show on BBC Radio 1. He also co-hosts his own podcast and most importantly – is a dad!
As a young man Rickie always knew he wanted to be a dad one day, and he became a one to Lola at 32. However, in the back of his mind he knew this relationship wasn’t working out. He soon became a single parent and had to navigate co-parenting with a young baby. This wasn’t always easy but as you will hear he found a way to make it work!
Later in Life Rickie met his now partner, Nat, who also had a daughter of a similar age to Lola. Previous experiences have meant he's settled into the role of stepdad to Dusty and loves it! In this ep, he tells us about how they blended their families and why is it so important to him to ensure both girls are equally included.
Happy to extend their family further they have since added baby Cruz into the mix!
It’s great to hear from a dad who is both a biological and step parent and hear more about the joys and complexities of blended family life!
Huge thanks to Rickie for sharing his story with us 💙
Time Codes
3:00 – “My family was really solid". - Rickie on his family life growing up
5:38 - "When I found out we were having a baby, I wanted to make it work... but ultimately I needed to be happy." - Why Rickie became a single parent to Lola
10:47 - "Get rid of the ego... this isn't about you, it is about the child." - Rickie shares how he and Lola's mum created a positive co-parenting relationship
14:04 - "Having to share her with somebody is hard... but he is great"- Accepting another parental figure in Lola's life.
18:06 - "My dad is very emotionally closed,... I see a lot of him in my behaviour." - Rickie on his relationship with his own dad and patterns we learn from our parents!
21:30 - "Once it sunk in, she got a bit jealous. She had her whole life of never having to share me" - Introducing a new partner into his life with Lola.
26:05 - "I am not here to be anything other than what Dusty wants me to be" - Rickie on his role as a step-dad.
30:28 - "Dusty is going to see that show as well and there is no mention of her... I thought how I would feel if I was Dusty, it really hurt me." - How Rickie works to ensure both his daughters are always included in his life, publicly and privately.
34:34 – "I feel like that is one of my strengths…" - Rickie on his strength's as a dad.
37:15 – "I don’t ever want anybody to feel like left out, or isolated… I am part of that" - Rickie on talking to his extended family about all of his kids!
40:50 - "100% it is different... ! I say to her, we have each other don’t feel you have to do this by yourself." - Rickie tells us his feelings on becoming a parent again, and sharing the load with your partner!
45:00 – "Never say never, but I don’t think I’m ever having another baby after this… I’m good!" - Why this is Rickie's last child... for now!!
46:54 - "They grow so quickly, this time around I want to miss as little as possible with Cruz". - Why Rickie isn't keen on leaving his son overnight!
54:24 - Rickie's Dad Superpower
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***Trigger Warning*** – In this episode we discuss topics that may be triggering for some listeners, namely Babies in Intensive care and baby loss. If you are affected by any of the subjects in this episode you can find support here.
Iwan Thomas is an Olympic athlete, TV presenter, commentator, Celebrity Masterchef and a dad!
Iwan was a whirlwind of a child and his strict, military dad encouraged him to focus on sport - which turned out brilliantly! After spending many years focussed on sport and being a self-confessed, selfish athlete, at 45 Iwan was ready to become a dad.
His first son, Teddy was rushed to intensive care shortly after birth with the life threatening infection, Group B Strep. Iwan was thrust into being a new parent and not knowing if his son would survive – a situation that was naturally devastating but he found it hard to reach out for support.
Teddy survived his illness and Iwan now has two energetic boys in his life and is working hard to create great memories for his sons every day. He is also spreading awareness of Group B Strep, and how easy it is to prevent passing it onto a baby through birth.
Huge thanks to Iwan for joining us and sharing his story 💙
Time Codes
3:36 – “My dad was strict but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love and nurture me." - Iwan on his dads firm but fair approach to parenting.
8:14 - "When I became a dad I was scared, I didn’t know what I was doing" - Iwan on becoming a parent at 45.
10:34 - "It’s not probably good parenting, but sometimes I have to go for the easy life here and there" - Why we should choose our battles as parents!
13:07 - "There was a bit of nerves but I was so thrilled I was going to be a dad!"
15:41 - "Teddy had Group B Strep… they said “It is very bad" - Iwan shares his son's life threatening illness and how to get tested as an expectant parent.
19:28 - "I find myself rushing back – I want to get home as soon as I can." - How life has changed for Iwan now he is a dad.
23:54 - "He was a dad in the hospital, he’d seen me and he asked if he could come and hug me." - How the kindness of a stranger helped Iwan at the most difficult time.
32:28 - "As a father when he came home, the bond with his mum felt it was stronger than mine, but as a dad you feel a spare part." - Iwan on bonding with his newborn children.
37:00 - "We bring him into our bed. He won’t do it forever… I do whatever works." - Iwan on coping with a child who doesn't sleep well.
40:40 - "It came from the JCB song… I think what a great memory so I bought a 72 year old truck!" - Why Iwan brought a classic car to make memories with his boys!
43:47 - "Becoming a dad myself has made me appreciate my dad even more" - Why Iwan is so thankful to his own dad, for shaping him into the father he is today.
47:49 - Iwan’s dad superpower
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Aaron Dale is an author and the social media content creator behind @raisingboys_2men. A single father raising his two sons, he has helped thousands of parents to think about putting their children first in co-parenting situations.
In this episode, Aaron talks about growing up surrounded by strong female role models, having an absent father, and how this experience showed him how not to be a dad!
Although he doesn’t live with his children full time, Aaron is a hands on dad to his two sons, who he co-parents with their mum’s. This has given him a wealth of experience that make this episode very insightful to parents from all backgrounds.
We also delve into mental health and how Aaron sought the support of a therapist, which he believes is something that can help many people parents or not.
A huge thanks to Aaron for joining us and sharing his experiences. 💙
Time Codes
3:44 – “He came to see me when I was 9… he said he was going to make more effort. I don’t think I saw him after that until I was 16." - Aaron on his relationship with his dad as a child.
6:12 – “Expecting him to come at 6 and he doesn’t show up until 10, that messed with me more than expecting him not be there at all." - Aaron tells us the impact of having an unreliable parent.
8:00 – “My mum got a partner… I’ve got a representation of a man living with me and he turned out to be abusive. A terrible example of a man.” - Aaron on experiencing more negative male role models throughout his childhood.
11:12 – “If a platform like mine was around when I was growing up, maybe one of the messages would have got through to my dad… that drives me to continue." - Why Aaron runs Raising Boys 2 Men.
12:13 – “I wasn’t shown to how to be a dad, but I knew how to not be a dad." - Aaron on becoming a parent, and how he coped with that change.
19:50 – “Co-parenting only means that the intimate relationship is no more. Your roles as parents have never changed." - What co-parenting means to Aaron.
23:24 – “Our love for the child needs to be stronger than the hate for the other parent."
26:13 – “It started as a virtual diary... I just want to share my story to help others. I am speaking my truth and it is the journey I have been through." - How Aaron started his platform and his ethos in running it,
30:30 – “I am the type of man that will go and go until I explode... so I found a therapist and it was the best thing I could have done." - Why Aaron sought therapy and why he recommends everyone do it.
35:26 – “There is so much noise… everyone has an opinion. Sometimes we have to mute it and think what is best for me"
37:21 – “As adults we have the cheat codes to life, that we can give to our kids to help them… it is so important that we give those codes to our children." - Aaron on how he is raising his children.
41:37 – "My son has me and his step-dad. I would never stop another man giving that love to my son and his mum." - Why step parents can be great additions to our children's lives.
50:10 – Aaron’s dad superpower.
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***Trigger Warning*** – In this episode we discuss topics that may be triggering for some listeners, namely miscarriage. If you are affected by any of the subjects in this episode you can find support here.
Ortis Deley is a radio DJ, actor and tv presenter, best known as the host of the Gadget Show But his most important job is as a dad to two young children!
In this episode, Ortis tells us about waiting until he was 43 to become a dad. He wanted to feel ready for parenthood – but becoming a dad wasn’t as easy as he and his wife had hoped. It wasn't until they'd experienced three miscarriages that they were able to find support from a specialist doctor. Families experiencing miscarriage often don't get to talk about it as much as they might need. It is a topic that can be hard to hear and talk about. But Ortis hopes to help other families who have been through, or are going through, the same thing.
We also talk about his children with a healthy understanding of how the world will view them because they’re black, and ensuring they have the tools to help them navigate this from a young age.
We’re so grateful to Ortis for joining us and sharing his experiences. This is a brilliant episode every parent needs to hear.
Time Codes
2:05 – "I became a dad at 43… The fear didn’t really creep in until we were at home!" - Ortis on becoming a parent.
7:46 – “My dad was the disciplinarian… I have never heard him say I love you, but I know that he does."
- Ortis' relationship with his dad.
14:06 – “I am raising kids who will be categorised, classed and hemmed in." - Ortis on raising his children to be aware of the prejudices they may face in life.
18:15 – “My daughter is 6 and my son is 3. It is important my kids are aware they'll be treated differently because of how they look." - How Ortis also educates his children about race.
23:58 – “Trying not to be my dad when it comes to discipline is a lot harder than I thought it would be!" - What Ortis finds difficult about parenting.
26:24 – “Being a parent ain’t easy and my wife is always encouraging me to apologise to our children. To let them know that it’s OK to make a mistake." - Why apologising to our kids is so important.
36:06 – “Rachel and I had three miscarriages… nothing prepares you for that." - Ortis shares his experience with miscarriage.
40:33 – “A friend told us about a miscarriage specialist… that treatment resulted in Phoenix." - Ortis on the treatment that led to them having their children,
42:38 - "It is healthy to cry, and it is healthy to talk. There wasn’t anything bottled up." - How Ortis and his wife have coped with their experiences.
44:30 – "More people should be made aware of its potential... and that there are more ways to help." -why we should talk about miscarriage more.
46:39 - "I also hope that anyone going through it, or has been through it, knows somebody they can share the burden with." - The importance of talking and getting support.
48:37 - "Phoenix brought happiness from the ashes of three miscarriages... Quincey means, number 5, he was our fifth pregnancy!" - The significance of Ortis' children's names.
55:41 – Ortis’ dad superpower.
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Dadvengers Podcast Episode 31 - Rory Crawford
Rory Crawford is a CBeebies presenter, a marine conservationist, and also a nature enthusiast. But most of all he is a loving father of 2 children. Rory is doing it all!
In this episode we hear how Rory grew up in a family with both his parents, and some brilliant strong male role models around him, and he shares how they shaped him into the man, and father, he is today!
He also talks all about the ridiculous paternity leave system in the UK, why there shouldn't be a bottle vs. breast feeding debate, and the thing that scares Rory most bringing children up in the current climate.
This great episode touches on so many important topics – it’s one you really don’t want to miss.
Huge thanks to Rory for joining us and being a brilliant guest!
Time Codes
01:30 – "Everyone's got a podcast now Nigel - but I jumped in and I loved it." - Rory on why he is a fan of the Podcast!
06:50 - “It was a charmed childhood. And kind of old school. My dad worked and mum stayed at home raising us kids.” - Rory talks about his childhood in Glasgow.
07:54 - “My dad worked in health promotion. I grew up wearing t-shirts from his campaigns. Like don’t dance with drugs!” - Rory tells us about his dad's job, and his interesting wardrobe as a kid!
13:51 – “My dad is most proud of us being principled people. If we believe in something... we stand up and say something.” - Rory also tells us what his dad is most proud of in his children.
19:56 - "Getting that language has only become more common in the past 10-5 years. To understand trauma and feel ok to talk about it” - Rory on the positive changes happening in talking about mental health.
24:50 – “Going from one to two is more than twice as hard… you don’t expect it!” - Rory on the change from having one, to two children,
30:03 – “Some of it is mindset. If you’re prepared and calmer... invariably that helps”. - Rory on handling tricky conversations with his kids.
32:56 – “I knew how it felt to be hit and feel scared… It also had some affect in me deciding not to do that.” - Rory tells us why he's strongly against smacking his own kids.
35:08 – "You come in with an impression that breastfeeding is the most natural thing you can do. But it isn’t that straightforward.” - Rory tells us why they hybrid fed their first child and the stigma around it.
42:31 – “It is utterly preposterous and it is not enough time. It doesn’t recognise the benefits of having two parents around to support and work together.” - Rory on the UK’s Paternity Leave.
47:08 – “It can feel like Armageddon… for me that is the big thing that I worry about”. - What worries Rory most about the environmental crisis.
52:51 – “The main thing is to feel passion about it – for children it is inbuilt”. How Rory teaches his kids about the importance of looking after the planet.
57:22 – “The moments I find are golden in parenting are when you see them acting in a way with someone else.” - Rory shares the moments knows he is getting parenting right!
58:40 – Rory's dad superpower.
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Dadvengers Podcast Episode 30 - Russell Kane
This week's guest is one of the UK's top comedians, host of the brilliant podcast Man Baggage, plus he’s written an insightful and hilarious book about growing up with a dad like his.
Russell Kane grew up with the ultimate alpha male dad who believed in working hard until you die which meant he missed out on some of the joy in life. Russell was completely different to his dad, which lead to quite the childhood. He learned from a young age that anger was a normal reaction to anything going wrong. As he got older he struggled to control his anger and began putting himself in danger when he lashed out. He realised this was no way to live and that he needed to make a change. So he did, using an intense and intriguing technique called the Hoffman process.
Russell didn’t and doesn’t want to be like his dad but as he discusses this makes for difficult situations.
This story is one that every parent (let alone man) needs to hear. Cheers Russ thanks for joining us 💙
Time Codes
3:00 – “I don’t think it’s usual… I have one memory of being in my cot!” – Russell on his childhood and amazing memory!
6:00 – “If you live by my dad’s formula you will be miserable” – How his dad measured success, and Russel’s formula for a happy life.
9:47 – “He died a miserable man. I could have carried it on…” – Russell is choosing to break negative hereditary cycles.
13:24 – “I could have blinded myself”. – How Russell’s upbringing led to him being violent toward himself.
18:12 – “You’ve got to get to a point where you are willing to make change”. – Russell hid his violence from everyone, and found himself at breaking point.
23:07 – “It is intense, you’re in and out and then if it work’s you’re cured”. – Russell explains why the Hoffman method worked for him.
25:59 – “I wanted money in the bank and career in order”. – Russell chose to wait to be a dad.
28:30 – “I had the first cuddle, I was so privileged”. – Russell on being a hands on dad from day one.
32:34 – “Your child is giving you clues of when they’re naturally sleeping. Help them get that into the right time”. – How Russell got his daughter sleeping through the night from 12 weeks.
35:25 – “The worst thing for a baby… a mum and dad who’s not solid”. – Russell’s advice on getting ready to have a baby.
37:28 – “She is complicated, has too much energy and ideas. I understand the rhythm of her”. – Russell’s similarities with his daughter help him to be the best parent he can.
41:58 – “It is just not true. And we have got to stop saying it to kids” – Russell on how he chooses to parent, and mold his child into the best version of herself.
45:36 – We ask Russell your questions.
50:10 – Russell’s dad superpower.
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Dadvengers Podcast Episode 29 - Abdul Bangura.
***Trigger Warning*** – This episode contains topics that may be triggering for some listeners. Namely birth trauma, grief, and custody battles.
This week’s guest has built two successful businesses in his lifetime, is a proud single dad, and is here to share his parenting experience with us!
Abdul always wanted to be a dad when the time was right. But when it happened at 29 he wasn’t ready. But with support from his dad, he stepped up and was a part of the pregnancy.
This is only the beginning of his story, Abdul went through and incredible introduction to fatherhood which saw his life changed by the covid pandemic. He also had to fight a custody battle to be guardian for his own daughter and on top of that he also lost his business and sunk into deep depression – before deciding to get help and turning things around.
Abdul's story is so inspirational. He's living proof that asking for help with mental health is a good thing and we are so glad Abdul shared his story with us.
Time Codes
2:13 – “My dad is one of 17…!” - Abdul grew up in a big blended family that made him want to be a dad one day.
6:39 – “I wasn’t ready… I was pi**ed.” – Abdul’s reaction to finding out he was going to be a dad.
12:15 – “My dad told me ‘what makes you think you can leave your child’… he was right”. – The conversation with Abdul’s father that made him realise he had to step up.
18:19 – “It went from ‘it might be a chest infection’ to ‘she needs an emergency caesarian’.” – His daughter’s mum was the first pregnant woman in the UK to be diagnosed with Covid-19.
21:44 – “I wasn’t allowed in because of corona”. – Abdul’s daughter was born five weeks early.
23:47 – “I was a zombie”– Abdul on grieving for his daughter’s mother and being a new dad.
26:56 – “Social services said ‘we can’t let the child go home with you' We took it to court”. – Abdul fight for custody of his own daughter.
37:45 – “A mum wouldn’t have gone through that”. – The unfairness of the family court system for dads.
41:21 – “I felt like I could do more for her welfare – so I did”. – What pushed Abdul onto fight for custody of his daughter.
44:51 – “I was in the deepest state of depression… and I have a screaming baby” – Abdul was adjusting to single parenting while battling his mental health.
48:37 – “If you don’t go out and provide your child won’t eat, that was my lightbulb moment”. – Abdul had a new business idea to provide for his child.
56:00 – “Put your pride to the side and talk to someone”. – Abdul sought help for his mental health.
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Dadvengers podcast episode 28 - Liv Thorne aka Livsalone.
The guest in this episode is an inspirational mum. Having always wanted to be a parent, she didn’t have one ingredient she needed to make that happen - someone to be the dad. Liv had been joking about using a sperm donor since her 20's. Then at 38, she stopped joking added "sperm to pram" online and started her journey.
Liv's open with her son, and everyone else, about Herb's dad being a donor. She doesn't shy away from conversations around Herb's parentage and she has a village of people to support her and her son. Including a small army of great male role models for Herb.
Listen out for Liv's opinions on support for dad's - and why she’s a Dadvengers supporter. As a solo mum hearing her thoughts on this is fascinating and one not to miss. We can't thank Liv enough for joining us and sharing her story.💙.
Time Codes
2:05 - “There must be other people like me”– Why Liv started sharing her journey to parenthood online.
9:22 – “I was googling it… who buys sperm online!?”. – How Liv started the donor journey, and buying the important ingredient she needed!
14:20 – “Touch wood, I’ve never had a troll or anything unpleasant except for…”. – The only time Liv’s ever experienced negativity online (and it wasn't through social media!).
17:02 – “Male friends get giggly when you talk about sperm”. – The reactions Liv has had when talking about getting a sperm donor.
20:04 – “I started looking at familial health”. – How Liv chose her sperm donor, and why him being a guitar player wasn’t that important!
28:00 – “He knows he doesn’t have a dad, he knows he has a donor”. – How Liv talks to Herb about his parentage and potentially difficult conversations.
36:07 – “There are men in his life, just not a grandad or a dad”. – Liv on having good role models in her son’s life.
37:42 – “I’m hoping he will talk to me, or say ‘mum can we talk to Uncle Steven about that’.”. – How Liv's planning have the stereotypical "father-son" conversations with Herb.
44:10 – “Men aren’t sailing through that”. – Liv shares her opinion on men’s parenting experiences and support for dads.
49:33 – “Both my parents had died, but I thought I was fine”. – Liv on realised she needed some help with past issues when writing her book.
52:52 – Liv answers your questions.
57:39 - Liv's dad superpowers!
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Dadvengers Podcast Episode 27 - Joe Wicks
Today's guest is a household name, who shot into the limelight when he started PE with Joe during the Covid pandemic. He is also a best selling author, has had over 1 million views online, and has received an MBE! But his favourite job is being a dad.
During filming of his recent documentary Joe discovered he was using his phone and social media to excess and at times found it took over his life. It also negatively impacted Joe's parenting and he has found himself snapping at his kids when spending too much time on his phone. Since finding out, Joe is learning to put his phone away and be present with his kids. He's changed how he uses social media so that he can still help people, but also be there for his children mentally and physically.
Joe's a work in progress like all of us. Using his experiences to support other parents, and improve his parenting skills. We're so pleased he shared his story with us.
Time Codes
1:58 - “I have 2 under 4 and one on the way – they’re nutters!”. – Joe on his kids and whether three is going to be enough!
4:31 – “I’m a naturally impatient person”. – What Joe found most difficult about becoming a dad.
7:52 – “There are days when I am quite flat, and I am quite switched off”. – Joe’s not always the really bouncy person we see on screen!
9:37 – “All of my self-worth was based on how many people I helped”. – How Joe has learnt to balance being there for his fans and being present with his family, and managing his mental health.
12:40 – “My dad was a heroin addict and mum had severe OCD”. – Joe’s relationship with his parents growing up.
19:25 – “I’ve got a whatsapp group and it’s all dads – it’s amazing”. – Joe on the importance of dads having a good support network.
21:07 – “I was really angry. I could see him relapsing and the instability was hard”. – Joe’s relationship with his dad growing up.
23:05 – “I’m more present… before I was shooting videos and taking pictures all the time”. – Joe on his favourite things he does with his kids and being present.
25:16 – “A lot of people have guilt about taking time for themselves. They won’t get the best side of you if you’re unhappy”. – Why parents should prioritise their own needs.
29:21 – “Social media, body dysmorphia, mental health – it should all be talked about at school”. – Joe’s biggest worries as a parent and what needs to change to support our kids as they grow up in a digital world.
35:20 – “I’ve used social media in a positive way… I’m trying to snap out of scrolling aimlessly”. – How Joe uses social media now.
40:33 – We ask Joe your questions and hear his Dad Superpower!
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Dadvengers Podcast Episode 26 - Krept
This week's guest is a massive name in the UK hip-hop scene, host of the BBC show The Rap Game UK, star of the BBC documentary "This Is England", and creator of a baby skincare range!
Krept became a dad just two years ago, and Nala is the center of his world! He makes life work around her. She has taught him that he can put family and relationships first and still be successful. He and Nala's mum separated, and they co-parent Nala. His main philosophy for making this work is no matter what happens, you put the kids first!
He is also grieving the recent death of his uncle - the main male role model in his life. This loss has created new sense of responsibility for Krept. Something we think a lot of dads will relate to.
Krept is another great example of what we think a Dadvenger should be, and we loved hearing his story 💙
Time Codes
2:15 – “My mum was a single mum, then she got married and there was my step dad, my brother, my step dad’s kids and my sister.” - Krept on growing up and his family dynamic.
3:27 – “When he went to jail we communicated more, when he came out we became close”. – Krept on his relationship with his dad.
5:28 – “We visited him and I felt I don’t want to be here. It played a big role in my life”. – Krept tells us why he started focusing on music, and education.
10:40 – “She said ‘I failed as a parent’ and that was it, I was going to make this woman proud”. – Krept’s relationship with his mum.
13:28 – “My uncle was was the spine of the family… When Cadet passed away it was the first time I ever saw my uncle cry. Then my uncle passed away two weeks ago.”. – Krept tells us about the deaths of his cousin Cadet, and his uncle, and the impact on him.
21:54 – “I always wanted to be a dad… I put her first and everything is around her.” – Krept on becoming a dad.
27:55 – “It was hard… but it doesn’t matter if we’re arguing, it is always Nala first”. – How Krept makes co-parenting work.
32:19 – “I have thought about it, But I hope this new generation will be better”. - Krept on his daughter growing up in the UK.
34:08 – “It was shocking, even for me”. – Krept on his documentary This Is England.
37:24 – “There was nothing natural, clean and cruelty free that was affordable – so we made it!”. – How and why Krept created his baby skincare line Nala’s Baby.
48:50 – Krept's dad superpower!
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Dadvengers Podcast Episode 25 - Troy Deeney
This week’s guest is the straight talking Troy. He's a footballer, dad of 4 and an activist changing how black history is taught in school.
Troy witnessed domestic abuse as a child, and that shaped him as he grew into an adult and became a parent. Troy never thought he would need therapy, but after getting into trouble with the police he realised he needed to talk about, and deal with, his past traumas. He tells us how therapy has helped him be a better parent and how he uses his experiences to help others.
Troy is a great example of a Dadvenger and we're so pleased he shared his story with us!
Time Codes
2:03 – Troy tells us about his upbringing and his generally happy childhood.
6:06 – “There’s an element of shame in talking about it”. Troy on witnessing domestic violence and why he is opening up about it.
11:38 – “I was drinking a lot… I got into trouble” Life changed and Troy ended up in prison.
14:29 – Troy tells us when, and why, he decided to get into therapy. - "My friend saw I was carrying something and made me promise to get help"
19:07 – “The beauty is in failing… it makes you a better parent.” - The positives of dealing with past traumas.
22:52 – “I wasn’t allowed to cry.... the first thing my dad said was ‘Did you cry’.” – Troy talks about the importance of being allowed to show emotions.
28:26 – “I was working at 11… I got in trouble at school for leaving to pick up my brother and sister." Troy tells us how he helped support his family from a young age.
32:58 – “I was 19 when I had my first son… I have become a better dad over the last three years.”. Troy on becoming a parent and learning to be emotionally present.
36:35 – “Domestic abuse went up by 68%... it might help someone”, Troy discusses why he wrote his book.-
39:47 – Troy talks about why he is so invested in education for himself and his kids.
43:11 – “You’ve got to enable young children to see, hear and feel what they can achieve.” Troy talks about the importance of teaching black history.
46:37 – Troy talks about his new project for changing how our children learn.
49:12 – “We're in a privileged position”. Find out about Troy’s documentary, and why he is using his position as a platform for change.
55:55 – We ask your questions and learn Troy's parent superpower!
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Dadvengers Podcast Episode 24 - Ben Anderson (@thediaryofadad)
**TRIGGER WARNING***
This week’s episode talks about subjects that may be triggering to some listeners. Namely, premature birth and baby loss. If you are affected by any of the subjects in this episode you can find support here.
This week's guest is a businessman, a huge name in the online parenting world, and a brilliant hands on dad who shares family life on his Instagram TheDiaryOfADad. One huge part of his parenting life that Ben shared was his experience of baby loss. He and his wife sadly lost their twins who were born at 22 weeks, and Ben talks openly about his experience, the impact on him emotionally, and navigating grief with three young children at home.
We are so thankful to Ben for joining us and being so candid. Ben - you're a true example of a Dadvenger, welcome to the community.
Time Codes
3:51 – Ben tell us about his work and the impacts of the lockdowns. - “It became a challenge when we were back to work with multiple children!”
7:22 – We delve into Ben’s large family and whether this was always in his plans. “Absolutely not... I business was the priority... then we fell pregnant!”
9:32 – “Nothing can prepare you for the act of changing a nappy for the first time!”. Ben on adjusting to being a dad and the times he felt overwhelmed by new fatherhood.
12:28 – Ben on his relationship with his own father. “My early memories are that my dad would be there... he was very hands-on and we had that connection”
17:38 - “It is 2022 and we are still having this conversation!”. Ben on how he approaches issues around race and unconscious bias with his children.
29:00 – Ben on deciding to have a large family, and how having children changed his focus. “My family was the grounding force for me”
35:51 – Ben opens up about his experience of twin pregnancy - “I remember a turning point at 21 weeks... she was in labour... I was hanging onto hope”
43:12 – “I want people to know what we’re going through... the love and support was just insane, I saw social media at it’s very best” - Why Ben decided to share the experience in real time on Instagram in real time.
46:20 – Ben shares the impact of losing his children at 22 weeks, and the effect on other pregnancies. “Once you’ve gone through that loss those things are always going to be there in your head."
51:30 – “Everyone grieves differently” Ben openly talks about the grief he experienced, and how he managed this while parenting their three other children.
1:01:28 – Ben tells us about the support from other dads who have experienced baby loss, and how he uses his experience to support other dads in the same situation now and reminds us why you can’t always believe what you see on social media.
01:10:40 – Ben answers your questions!
01:19:54 - Parenting Superpower!
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Dadvengers Podcast Episode 23 - Alex Winters
This week we have the brilliant Alex Winters joining us to talk all about his parenting journey. Alex has been an actor in theatre, Panto and TV, as well as a TV presenter on Cbeebies. He is a dad of three (we won't mention him getting the youngest's age wrong 🤫) and in this episode we delve into his parenting journey!
Alex talks to us about having three very different kids, at very different ages - and how he manages parenting them. Alex also delves into being brought up in the Mormon faith, his difficult decision to leave the religion and the effect that had on his entire life.
A great episode, with a great Dadvenger - welcome to the community Alex!
2:26 - Alex tells us about his three kids, and how parenting a 15. 13 and 10 year old - or is his youngest really 9?!
4:52 - We delve into Alex's childhood and growing up in Cardiff in he home his mum still lives in- "Because it's the same house... I feel like a child again - it's very weird!"
8:14 - "Does it make it difficult as a child, absolutely... I was embarrassed. It did seem difficult" - Alex tells us about the impact of growing up Mormon.
12:08 - "I just had to supress it and suck it down" - Why Alex didn't rebel against the religion as a teenager.
14:00 - Alex's relationships with his parents growing up. "I wish with my dad there had been more involvement - my dad never came [to a football match], not once."
17:23 - "I don't want to criticise my dad, but I wish he'd been more present.". Alex on how he regrets he didn't have more involvement from his dad.
21:12 - “Whatever they do I just want to make sure that at all times I am part of those things” - Alex tells us about how he has gone the other way with his kids and gets involved.
25:55 - "Then my dad says do you recognise my son"!- Alex shares the funny ways his parents did show their pride in him"
31:02 – Alex shares the things he works on as a parent every.
37:36 - Alex opens up about his choice to leave the Mormon faith in his late 30's. The reasons for wanting to leave, and the conversation with his wife about it. "One of my fears was am I going to lose my family over this".
47:06 - We chat about the impact of leaving Mormonism has had on Alex's parenting. And how his children have coped with leaving the religion.
52:35 - Alex's dad superpower.
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It's Dadvengers Podcast Episode 22 - Simon Hooper, AKA Father of Daughters.
This weeks guests describes himself as outnumbered by girls - and as a dad of 4 daughters, we believe him! Simon is also an influencer, a fundraiser, and a mental health advocate - he's smashing it all!
We chat all about Simon's great relationship with his own dad, his mental health and how he uses Instagram as an outlet when he needs to chat, and how he parents 4 very different children!
We also delve into Simon's daughter's diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes and the impact this had on all their lives.
Huge thanks to Simon for joining us - welcome to the Dadvengers crew!
Time Codes
1:26 - Simon tells us about being a dad of four girls - and the difference from number one, to number four... "I feel like the twins get a rougher deal... as long as everyone's smiling you're doing a good job"
3:24 - "Social media is not necessarily real life..." - Simon delves into why he started his Instagram page to show the real side of life and parenting.
5:07 - We chat about becoming a dad at 23; and the up's, down's, and surprises of parenting!
7:38 - "I left my wife in a basement flat in London... with a baby who was 5 weeks old... and I was having a good time" - we talk taking a secondment with work and being away from his family.
12:16 - "Girls aren't that much different to boys - they're as messy, as stressy, as complicated!" - Simon tells us how he bonded with his daughters and what it's like parenting girls!
14:40 - Simon tell us about his parents - "My dad is an inspirational role model..."
16:02 - "I thought my dad was going to punch me..." - Simon on his fear of telling his parents he was going to be a dad, and the great traits he has inherited from him!
20:53 - "She was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes". Simon opens up about his daughter being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and life changes this has led to.
24:55 - We chat about the impact of his daughter's diabetes on him as a parent - "I hadn't acknowledged how it impacted me as a parent... I broke and was crying about it"
29:58 - Simon on how he has made changes in his life, looks after his own mental health and has found his own outlets for looking after his mental wellbeing.
35:20 - Simon answers your questions!
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We are back and kicking off season three with the brilliant Patrick Hutchinson.
Patrick is a father of four, grandfather of four and fitness enthusiast. He is most well-known as an equal rights activist, and the image of him carrying and anti-Black Lives Matter protestor to safety during the protests in 2020, arguably made him one of the most recognised activists on the planet.
We chat about how his parenting has changed over the years, the impact growing up without a dad had on him, and of course we talk about the BLM protests. This is an unmissable opening episode for season three!
3:03 – Patrick talks about his transition to fatherhood at a young age - "It didn't matter how hard it was going to be... I was going to be there".
4:16 - Growing up without a father, and the impact that had on Patrick as a young boy, and the male role models he did have.
8:49 - "My first encounter of racism was probably around the age of 9" - Patrick on experiencing racism from a young age.
11:03 - Patrick shares his experiences of teaching his children about racism and discrimination.
14:37 - The Black Lives Matter protests of 2020 - Patrick tells us what happened the day the viral photograph was taken. And how his life changed completely. "I didn't want to stand by and watch something happen that I would regret"
19:20 - "I've never heard from him... something tells me our paths will cross one day" - Patrick explains how he has never heard from the anti-BLM protestor he rescued, but he has hope that they will cross paths one day.
20:50 - How the BLM protest changed not just Patrick's life, but the lives of his family too. And how he still tries to be hands on as much as possible.
23:57 - "It's really affected my 10 year old..." - The impact of the lockdowns and the social media generation on Patrick's youngest children and how he manages their time online.
28:34 - "Times have changed..." - Patrick on how his parenting has changed from his older children to his youngest daughters.
33:44 - Patrick on his work with underprivileged children, and how he relates to them and earns their respect - "I've used my parenting skills and... what I do is authentic to me".
36:06 - Patrick answers your questions!
44:30 - Patricks parenting superpower!
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