Afleveringen
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đ¨ Warning: If you've ever thought "I should see more patients," "I should have caught that," or "I should stay late to help" - this episode will call you out (in the best possible way).The Problem Every Doctor Faces (But Nobody Talks About)
Picture this: You're finishing a long shift, the waiting room is still packed, and that voice in your head starts up again... "I should stay late. I should see more patients. I should have caught that diagnosis earlier."
Sound familiar? You're not alone.
Marshall Rosenberg called "should" a VIOLENT word - and after listening to this episode, you'll understand exactly why this seemingly harmless word is quietly sabotaging your career, your relationships, and your mental health.
What You'll Discover in This Episode:â The hidden psychology behind why "should" creates shame, guilt, and burnout (hint: it's disconnecting you from your authentic motivations)
â Why your brain rebels against "should" statements - and how this creates the exact opposite of what you want
â The 3-step process to transform "should" into conscious choice (this alone will change how you approach every decision)
â Real examples from the ER, clinic, and hospital that will make you say "That's literally me!"
â How to stop the vicious cycle of:
"I should chart right now" (but end up procrastinating)"I should never complain" (then feeling resentful)"I should have known better" (leading to imposter syndrome)The Moment Everything Clicks"Should really implies you have no choice. You're acting under duress or guilt... this creates resistance. Resistance leads to resentment."
When you realize you're CHOOSING to go to work (because you value helping patients and earning a living) versus feeling like you HAVE TO go to work - everything changes. The energy shifts. The resentment disappears. You show up as your best self.
Why This Matters RIGHT NOWIf you're experiencing:
đĽ Burnout that won't go awayđ¤ Resentment toward your job, patients, or colleaguesđ° Anxiety about productivity and performance𤯠Overwhelm from competing prioritiesđ Imposter syndrome and self-doubt...then the word "should" is likely running the show in your brain. And it's time to take back control.
The Neuroscience Behind Your Inner CriticDiscover how your left limbic system creates that "should" persona that's trying to protect you from embarrassment and rejection - but actually keeping you stuck in stress, shame, and psychological reactance.
"When we use should, we disconnect from our authentic motivations and underlying needs."
Ready to Stop "Shoulding" on Yourself?This isn't just about changing your language - it's about reclaiming your autonomy as a physician and reconnecting with WHY you chose medicine in the first place.
The 3-Step Process Revealed:
Catch the Should (awareness is everything)Ask: What need am I trying to meet? (connection, competence, autonomy, rest?)Reframe into choice language ("I choose to... because I value...")Share This EpisodeKnow a physician who's been "shoulding" on themselves lately? Send them this episode. They'll thank you for it.
â Leave a review - it helps other doctors find us and moves us up in the rankings!
Remember: You are whole. You are a gift to medicine. And the work you do matters.
Stop shoulding. Start choosing. Your future self will thank you.
Resources:
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
Complimentary Chat with a Physician Coach
Free Video: How to Crush Physicain Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back, Quitting Medicine, or "Sucking It Up" in Silence
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đŻ What You'll Discover in This Episode
Ready to revolutionize your relationship with emotions? This episode is your roadmap to emotional mastery! Our amazing hosts break down how every single emotion you feel is actually valuable information designed to help you thrive.
⨠The Big Mindset ShiftStop fearing your emotions and start using them! Each feeling is like a text message from your inner wisdom, telling you exactly what you need to know to take your next best step.
đĽ Your Emotion Decoder Ring: 11 Powerful InsightsANGER - Energy with a Purpose đŞWhat it's telling you: Something's challenging your values or sense of justiceYour superpower move: Channel that fire into positive change!Pro tip: Ask yourself what's really underneath - sometimes anger is protecting softer feelingsGUILT - Your Values Compass đ§What it's telling you: Your actions might not align with who you want to beYour superpower move: Let it guide you back to your authentic selfRemember: "I did something misaligned" vs "I am bad" - huge difference!FRUSTRATION - The Stuck Signal đ§What it's telling you: There's a gap between your effort and the outcomeYour superpower move: Shift your approach OR adjust your expectationsGame-changer: Sometimes lowering expectations is the fastest path to feeling better!OVERTHINKING - Control Seeker Alert đ¤ŻWhat it's telling you: Your brain is trying to control the uncontrollableYour superpower move: Trust yourself to handle whatever comesMantra: "Of course this happened. What can I actually control here?"GRIEF - Love with Nowhere to Go đWhat it's telling you: You're processing a profound lossYour superpower move: Feel it fully - it's proportional to how much you lovedBeautiful truth: Grief is actually a tribute to what mattered mostFEAR - Your Overprotective Guardian đĄď¸What it's telling you: Your mind is trying to keep you safeYour superpower move: Learn to distinguish real threats from growth opportunitiesReality check: Not every unfamiliar thing is dangerous!SADNESS - The Processing Mode đ§ď¸What it's telling you: Your mind is slowing down to catch up with realityYour superpower move: Allow the processing - it's healing in actionReframe: This isn't weakness, it's your brain doing important work!LONELINESS - Connection Craving đ¤What it's telling you: Time to reach out and reconnectYour superpower move: Call someone who makes you feel seen and understoodWarning: Superficial connections won't satisfy this deeper needDISAPPOINTMENT - Expectation Mismatch đWhat it's telling you: Reality didn't meet your expectationsYour superpower move: Assess if expectations were realistic and adjust accordinglyOpportunity: Perfect time to communicate your needs more clearlyBOREDOM - Unused Creative Energy âĄWhat it's telling you: Your brain wants something more meaningfulYour superpower move: Channel that energy into something creative or purposefulTruth bomb: It's not that there's nothing to do - you need something that lights you up!ENVY/RESENTMENT - Desire Detector đŻWhat it's telling you: You want something and feel blocked from having itYour superpower move: Ask "What's stopping me from getting this?"Plot twist: It's usually not about the other person at all!đ Key Takeaways That Will Change Your LifeEmotions = Information, Not Problems - Every feeling has a message for youName It to Claim It - Emotional granularity gives you power and perspectiveFeel It to Heal It - Pushing emotions away makes them heavierYou Have Options - Change what you can, adjust expectations, or choose a different pathLower Those Expectations - Sometimes the fastest route to feeling better!đĄ Practical Magic for Healthcare HeroesOur hosts share real-world wisdom for medical professionals dealing with:
Packed waiting rooms and system frustrationsGuilt about not helping everyoneThe balance between caring deeply and protecting your energyFinding meaning in imperfect systemsRemember: Accepting limitations doesn't make you complicit - it frees up energy for where you CAN make a difference!
đ Why the Doctors at Your Hospital Need to Hear This EpisodeThis isn't just theory - it's practical emotional intelligence that will help you:
Navigate workplace stress with more graceUnderstand what your feelings are really trying to tell youTurn emotional "problems" into powerful informationFeel more empowered in challenging situationsBuild better relationships with yourself and othersđ Connect with The Whole PhysicianEmail: [email protected]
Love what you heard?
Leave us a review (it helps your favorite doctors find us!)Check out our new video: "How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good"Share this episode with someone who needs to hear itđ Final ReminderYou are whole. You are a gift to medicine. The work you do matters.
Your emotions aren't obstacles to overcome - they're superpowers waiting to be unleashed!
Ready to transform your emotional life? Hit play and let's dive in! đ§â¨
Resources:
Nadia Addesi
Talk with a Physician Coach
Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking It Up' in Silence
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⨠Episode Highlights:What is Nonviolent Communication? A framework developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg that centers empathy, clarity, and connection instead of blame, criticism, or control.Why It Matters: 70% of sentinel events in hospitals are linked to communication breakdowns! Plus, as BrenĂŠ Brown says, "Clear is kind, unclear is unkind."The 4 Components of Nonviolent Communication:Observation - State facts without judgmentFeeling - Express your emotions about what you observedNeed - Identify the underlying need or valueRequest - Make a clear, actionable requestReal-Life Examples that transform challenging conversations into opportunities for connection with:Nurses questioning your medical decisionsColleagues who are consistently latePartners after a long, exhausting shiftChildren needing your attention while you're workingInexperienced staff members who need guidanceđĄ Powerful Takeaways:Moving from reacting to respondingShifting from disconnection to mutual understandingTransforming defensiveness into curiosityđ Book Recommendations:"Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg"Crucial Conversations" for handling difficult discussions with confidenceđ Remember:
Nonviolent communication isn't about being "nice" â it's about being REAL and saying the truth in a way that invites others to meet you where you are!
Until next timeâyou are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters!
Resources:
Nonviolent Communication Cheat Sheet
Nonviolent Communication Book
Crucial Conversations Book
Talk with a Physician Coach
Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking It Up' in Silence
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In this energizing episode, hosts Amanda, Laura, and Kendra tackle the vital topic of developing a multifaceted identity beyond being a physician. They explore why having interests outside medicine isn't just nice-to-have but essential for wellbeing, resilience, and ultimately better patient care. The hosts share research-backed insights and practical tips for rediscovering who you are beyond your medical career!
⨠Key HighlightsIdentity is more than your job title - Research shows physicians with diverse interests experience lower burnout ratesRight-brain activities like art and music can be especially powerful burnout fightersHappier doctors = better patient care - Having outside interests enhances empathy and effectivenessSome medical groups offer sabbaticals - Advocacy for institutional support is making progressđ Episode InsightsWhat is identity? The sum of our personality attributes, interests, values, roles, culture, and relationshipsResearch spotlight: Meta-analysis shows physicians engaging in non-medical activities experience higher satisfactionSelf-determination theory: Acting in accordance with your true self is foundational to mental healthđ ď¸ Practical Action StepsIdentify activities you enjoy outside of medicine - start small!Foster meaningful connections beyond the hospital wallsPractice mindfulness and reflection to rediscover personal valuesAdvocate for institutional support at your workplaceđŹ Quotable Moment"There was a time in your life that you were not a doctor and you were perfectly amazing without that title."
đŻ Weekly ChallengeCommit to integrating at least ONE non-medical activity into your life this week!
đ Resources MentionedFree physician wellness triage session (link in show notes)Free video: "How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good"đ Episode Sign-off"You are whole. You are a gift to medicine and the work you do matters."
The Drive Time Debrief podcast helps physicians thrive both in and outside the hospital. Follow for weekly episodes on physician wellness, burnout prevention, and reclaiming joy in medicine.
Resources:
Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking it Up" in Silence
Talk with Us (Free Physician Triage Session)
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⨠Episode Highlights
In this uplifting episode, hosts Amanda, Laura, and Kendra explore how vulnerability serves as a hidden superpower for medical professionals. They challenge the common misconception that vulnerability equals weakness and instead reveal how it's the key to authentic patient care, stronger team relationships, and personal growth.
đ Key MomentsRedefining Vulnerability: Kendra introduces the core concept that vulnerability isn't weakness, but a superpower that protects against shame spirals and defensiveness
The Arena Metaphor: The team unpacks Theodore Roosevelt's famous "Man in the Arena" speech from 1910 and how it applies perfectly to modern medical practice
Medical Culture: Discussion of how medical training often creates "maladaptive perfectionism" that discourages vulnerability
Asking for Help: The importance of "not going down alone" and reaching out for help instead of suffering in silence
Emotional Maturity: Why self-criticism is actually "emotionally immature" and how curiosity can pull us back into our thinking brain
Real-world Application: Candid example of an "amygdala hijack" during a tense patient interaction and how to recover
Practical Technique: Simple question to ask yourself: "Do I have enough information to freak out right now?"
Patient Perspective: Understanding how patients' fears and resistance to vulnerability affect medical interactions
đĄ Quotable Moments"Medicine has misconstrued vulnerability... It's actually a superpower because it keeps you in the posture to not go down the shame spiral."
"It's actually emotionally immature to beat yourself up. It's not the best version of you."
"Curiosity is the antidote to fear. It helps us learn rather than shut down."
đ Resources MentionedBrenĂŠ Brown's books: "Daring Greatly" and "Rising Strong"Theodore Roosevelt's 1910 "Man in the Arena" speechđ Closing ThoughtsMedicine will always demand courage, and vulnerability is a key part of that courage. By choosing curiosity over fear, medical professionals can stay engaged, learning, and growingâboth for themselves and for their patients.
đ Connect With Us!Email: [email protected]"You are whole. You are a gift to medicine and the work you do matters."
Resources:
Free Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking it Up" in Silence
Talk with Us (Free Physician Triage Session)
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In this powerful and moving episode, hosts Amanda, Laura, and Kendra interview Dr. Andrea Palmer, an OB-GYN who lost her surgeon husband, Dr. Blake Palmer, to suicide in 2022. Dr. Palmer courageously shares her journey through grief, anger, and ultimately compassion as she works to bring awareness to the critical issue of physician suicide.
Episode Highlights:
Understanding language matters: The hosts begin with an important discussion about using the phrase "died by suicide" rather than "committed suicide" to reduce stigma and shameAlarming statistics: The medical community loses approximately one physician per day to suicide, with over 400 physicians dying by suicide in 2023 aloneDr. Andrea Palmer's story: How she met her husband in medical school, built a family together, and navigated the challenges of being a two-physician householdWarning signs: Dr. Palmer reflects on her husband's undiagnosed ADHD, perfectionism, overwork, and inability to ask for helpThe impact of shame: How shame and distorted thinking can lead to tragic outcomes, especially when combined with easy access to lethal meansLife after loss: Dr. Palmer's honest account of parenting two children through grief while managing her own emotions and professional lifeProtective factors: The importance of connection, community support, therapy, and normalizing mental health discussions in medicineInstitutional response: A candid conversation about how healthcare systems often fail to support physicians in crisis or honor those lost to suicideKey Takeaways:
Community saves lives: "Never go down alone" should be a mantra for all physiciansSeeking help is strength: Getting diagnosed and treated for mental health conditions can be life-changingSelf-worth beyond medicine: Physicians must recognize that their value exists independent of their professional accomplishmentsInstitutional change needed: Healthcare organizations must prioritize physician well-being over productivity and profitsResources Mentioned:
National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988Physician Support Line: 1-888-409-0141Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapyThe Whole Physician wellness coachingThis episode serves as both a memorial to Dr. Blake Palmer and a powerful call to action for the medical community to address the systemic issues contributing to physician suicide. Dr. Andrea Palmer's courage in sharing her story reminds us that beneath our white coats, we are human first â deserving of compassion, rest, and support.
Resources:
Physician Support Line
Talk with The Whole Physician (Physician Wellness Triage Session)
Social Media: @fenomandrea
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Welcome back to the DriveTime Debrief with The Whole Physician! In todayâs heartwarming and hope-filled episode, your favorite trioâDrs. Amanda, Laura, and Kendraâare diving deep into the power of friendship. đ
We know how important relationships are to our overall well-beingâemotionally and physically. But hereâs the kicker: working in medicine can feel really lonely, even though weâre surrounded by people all day long. So how do we reclaim connection and create authentic friendships as busy adults? Thatâs what weâre unpacking today.
đĄ In this episode, we explore:
Why friendships are as essential to your health as sleep and nutrition đ´đ
How proximity and repeated exposure (hello, hospital break room!) lay the foundation for connection
The surprising number of hours it takes to move from acquaintance to ride-or-die đŹââ¤ď¸
Why just working together doesnât always count toward meaningful connection (and what does!)
Doâs & Donâts of building adult friendshipsâwithout the awkward middle school vibes đ
⨠Youâll also learn:
How to turn casual chats into intentional connection
What Aristotle and the University of Kansas have to say about the science of friendship
How to know if someone is a âMarble Jar Friendâ đŤ (thank you, BrenĂŠ Brown!)
Practical, do-able steps to grow your friend circleâeven as a super-busy doctor
đ¨ Spoiler alert: If you think youâre too busy for friends⌠you probably need them more than ever. đŹđ
đŁ One Small Step Challenge
This week, reach out to one personâjust oneâand invite them to coffee, lunch, or even a quick text catch-up. Your future best friend could be one conversation away.đ˛ Resources Mentioned:
âď¸ Free chat with a physician coach â [Link below]
âď¸ Free video training: How to Crush Physician Burnout Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking It Up in SilenceIf todayâs message lit a spark in your soul, share this episode with a colleague who needs to hear it. Donât forget to leave a review and hit those 5 stars âââââ
Until next timeâŚ
⨠You are whole.
⨠You are a gift to medicine.
⨠The work you do matters.#FriendshipGoals #PhysicianWellness #YouAreNotAlone #DriveTimeDebrief #TheWholePhysician
Links:
Free Video: âHow to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or âSucking It Upâ in Silenceâ
Chat with a Physician Coach
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This episode is packed with heart, healing, and high-impact tools for anyone navigating the chaos of modern medicine. Weâre joined by the incredible Dr. Vanessa CalderĂłnâER physician, master-certified coach, and passionate advocate for self-compassion in healthcare.
đĽ Spoiler alert: You can be an exceptional, high-performing physician and treat yourself with love and grace. In fact, it's the secret sauce to longevity and joy in this field.
Together, we dive into:
⨠How medicine borrowed safety strategies from aviation and nuclear energy
⨠Why it takes everyoneânot just the doctorâto keep patients safe
⨠The truth about medical mistakes (hint: youâre human, and thatâs okay)
⨠A powerful story of a double contrast order, what went wrong, and what it taught her
⨠The surprising truth behind that inner critic (and why success didn't come from it)Plus, Dr. Calderón shares her top self-compassion strategies you can use mid-shift, even in the most chaotic moments. These include:
đ Plan ahead: Prioritize sleep like itâs your superpower
đ§ Hydrate + nourish: Whole food, water, and donât skip bathroom breaks!
đŹď¸ Self-regulate: Try her easy 20-second breathing and tactile grounding exercises
đ§ Set intentions: Prime your brain for purpose before you even clock inAnd if youâve ever feared that being kind to yourself might make you lazy or less drivenâDr. Vanessa completely busts that myth wide open. Her message? You didnât succeed because of your inner criticâyou succeeded despite it. đŞ
đ§ Bonus nuggets:
Why gratitude primes your brain for better outcomes
What to do with that flood of shame and guilt after a mistake
How to become the role model your kids (and patients!) deserve
đ§ LISTEN IN and get ready to feel empowered, inspired, and equipped to care for yourself the way you care for others.
Connect with Dr. Vanessa CalderĂłn:
đ Website: www.vanessacalderonmd.com
đ¸ Instagram: @vanessacalderonmd
đ§ Podcast: The Empowered Brain â available wherever you get your podcastsThe Empowered Brain
If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with a colleague who needs a little self-compassion today! đ
#HealthcareHeroes #DriveTimeDebrief #SelfCompassion #BurnoutRecovery #PhysicianWellness #ERLife #EmpoweredMedicine
Links:
Free Video: âHow to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or âSucking It Upâ in Silenceâ
Chat with a Physician Coach
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In this episode of Drive Time Debrief, we welcome the incredible Dr. Laurie Bogeâan emergency medicine physician, Army veteran, athlete, and the visionary behind Cloud LifeWear. From her journey in medicine to entrepreneurship, Dr. Laurie shares how she transformed a personal frustration into a thriving business and a movement that uplifts women in medicine.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:⨠How Laurieâs experience with ill-fitting scrubs sparked the idea for Cloud LifeWear (formerly Green Cloud Apparel)
Key Takeaways:
⨠The power of saying yes to your passions and no to what doesnât serve you
⨠The importance of finding balanceâsleep, movement, and meaningful connections
⨠Why stepping outside of medicine can enhance your love for it
⨠How Laurie is using her platform to give back to women in medicine, especially those impacted by disastersđĄ âIt just took one person to show me that I could love medicine and have a life outside of it.â
đĄ âI still havenât set business expectationsâIâm just having fun with it!â
đĄ âSaying yes to one thing means saying no to something else. Make sure youâre saying yes to what truly matters.âDr. Bogeâs story is a testament to the fact that medicine is just one part of who we are. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur or simply looking for ways to bring more joy and balance into your life, this episode is for you!
đ§ Tune in now and get inspired to take that leap into your own passions!
đŹ Letâs continue the conversation! Tag us @TheWholePhysician and let us knowâwhatâs a passion youâve been dreaming about pursuing?
#DriveTimeDebrief #PhysicianEntrepreneur #WomenInMedicine #WorkLifeBalance #EmergencyMedicine #CloudLifeWear
https://cloudlifewear.com
Links:
Free Video: âHow to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or âSucking It Upâ in Silenceâ
Chat with a Physician Coach
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Welcome back to Drive Time Debrief! Today, your favorite physician wellness trioâAmanda, Laura, and Kendraâare diving into a fascinating and powerful topic: curiosity. But weâre not talking about staying up-to-date with medical knowledge. Weâre talking about curiosity as an emotional regulatorâa tool to help you stay grounded, resilient, and present in the face of stress, burnout, and the overwhelming weight of responsibility that comes with being a caregiver. đżđđ
Curiosity is more than just asking questionsâitâs a mindset that keeps us open, engaged, and adaptable. It allows us to move away from rigid black-and-white thinking and lean into learning, connection, and self-awareness. When used intentionally, curiosity can be a game-changer in how we process emotions, interact with others, and even combat shameâa common but unspoken struggle in medicine. đđ§ đĄ
In This Episode, We Cover:âď¸ How curiosity helps regulate emotions and counteract shame
âď¸ The science behind curiosity and emotional granularity (hello, neuroscience!)
âď¸ BrenĂŠ Brownâs insights on reckoning with emotions instead of suppressing them
âď¸ Practical strategies for using curiosity in high-stress moments
âď¸ How curiosity can improve leadership, patient interactions, and even parenting
âď¸ The power of open-ended questions in shifting from self-judgment to self-inquiry
âď¸ Why curiosity and judgment canât coexistâand how that can transform your mindsetShame and perfectionism run deep in medicine, but curiosity offers a way out. Instead of getting stuck in self-criticism or fear of failure, we can ask ourselves: What can I learn from this? What else is going on here? How can I grow? When we get curious instead of shutting down, we open the door to growth, connection, and a more fulfilling practice of medicine (and life!). đąđĄđ
đ Takeaways for the Week: â When emotions run high, pause and name the emotionâthis alone can lessen its intensity.
â Shift from self-judgment to self-inquiry by asking open-ended questions.
â In tough patient encounters, replace frustration with curiosityâwhy is this happening? Whatâs beneath the surface?
â Remember: Curiosity is courageâand a key trait of great leaders.Curiosity might just be the ultimate superpower for emotional resilience! Give it a try this week, and let us know what shifts for you. As always, weâre here to support you in navigating the highs and lows of medicineâbecause you deserve to thrive, not just survive. đđŞđ
đ§ Listen now and join the conversation! Have a story about how curiosity has helped you? Send us a messageâweâd love to hear from you! đŠđď¸đŹ
Links:
Free Video: âHow to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or âSucking It Upâ in Silenceâ
Chat with a Physician Coach
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Ever feel like youâre carrying the weight of everyone elseâs happiness and success on your shoulders? Youâre not alone. In this episode, the docs dive into the internal control fallacy, a sneaky thought distortion that convinces you youâre responsible for outcomes that are completely beyond your control.
From patient choices to workplace dynamics and even personal relationships, this fallacy fuels guilt, burnout, and emotional exhaustion. The docs get real about why this happens, how itâs impacting you, and what you can do to finally let go of the impossible.
đĽ What You'll Learnâ What is the internal control fallacy?
Itâs the mistaken belief that youâre responsible for external events or other peopleâs feelings, actions, and outcomes.Example: Thinking youâve failed if your patient doesnât follow your advice or if your partner isnât happy 24/7.â Why you CANâT control everything (and shouldnât)
You can influence others with advice and support, but their actions are their own.Taking on responsibility for whatâs not yours leads to resentment, burnout, and over-functioning.â How this fallacy shows up in medicine
Docs often feel like theyâre failing if patients ignore medical advice or if family members reject a diagnosis.The truth? Youâre responsible for the care you provide, not the choices others make.â The consequences of over-functioning
Burnout alert: Over-functioning (like taking extra shifts or overcompensating) doesnât fix the systemâit actually enables it.Medicine wonât ever say, âYouâve done enough.â You have to decide that for yourself.â Breaking free from the fallacy
Listen to your resentment: Itâs your inner voice telling you that youâve crossed a boundary.Set limits: Youâre not the systemâs superhero. You deserve sustainable work conditions.Detach with love: Offer influence, not control. You canât own someone elseâs choices.đ Mic Drop Moments⨠âIf youâre feeling resentment, thatâs your signal. Youâve got a boundary that needs to be enforced.â
𩻠Doc-to-Doc Wisdom
⨠âThe wheels sometimes have to fall off for the system to get upgraded wheels.â
⨠âWhen we overfunction, the system underfunctions. Youâre making it more broken by trying to fix it all.âđ Youâre a physician, not a magician.
đ§ Tune In Now
You provide care, not guarantees. When you find yourself carrying emotional responsibility for what you canât control, pause and remind yourself: youâre in charge of your effort, not the outcome.đď¸ Whether youâre a physician battling burnout, a perfectionist constantly over-functioning, or simply someone who needs permission to let go, this episode will hit home. Listen in and learn how to break free from the internal control fallacyâbecause you can only carry whatâs truly yours. đ
Links:
Free Video: âHow to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or âSucking It Upâ in Silenceâ
Chat with a Physician Coach
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Ever feel like no matter what you do, itâs never enough? Like you breeze past your successes and fixate on what went wrong? Youâre not alone, and today, weâre tackling that sneaky little cognitive distortion: discounting the positive.
In this episode, we break down why so many physicians downplay their wins and how this mindset fuels burnout. More importantly, weâll give you practical, science-backed strategies to flip the script and start celebrating your victoriesâbig and small!
⨠What Youâll Learn Today:â Why your brain is wired to focus on the negative (and how to retrain it!)
â The power of affirmative reflectionâwhy asking âWhat went well today?â is a game-changer
â How writing down wins shifts your mindset and builds resilience
â The magic of peer supportâwhy celebrating together makes all the difference
â How shifting from âI failedâ to âI learnedâ can transform the way you see challengesWe even bring in a Super Bowl-worthy mindset shift (thanks, Jalen Hurts!) to show how elite performers use self-reflection to come back stronger. đŞ
đ§ Tune in and Take Action!This isnât just about feeling goodâitâs about thriving in medicine. So letâs start celebrating our wins, supporting each other, and building a more positive, resilient mindset. Youâre already doing incredible thingsânow itâs time to recognize them!
đ Want more support? Click the link in the show notes to chat with one of our physician coaches. Plus, grab our FREE video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Goodâno cutting back hours, quitting medicine, or suffering in silence required.
đ You are whole. You are a gift to medicine. And the work you do matters. See you next time on The Drive Time Debrief! đđ¨
#WholePhysician #CelebrateYourWins #PhysicianWellness #MindsetMatters #DriveTimeDebrief
Scientific References Mentioned:Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders.Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy.Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). âCounting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life.â Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377â389.Shanafelt, T. D., et al. (2012). âBurnout and Satisfaction With Work-Life Balance Among US Physicians Relative to the General US Population.â Archives of Internal Medicine.Hofmann, S. G., et al. (2010). âThe Effect of Mindfulness-Based Therapy on Anxiety and Depression: A Meta-Analytic Review.â Journal of Clinical Psychology.Neff, K. D. (2003). âSelf-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself.â Self and Identity, 2(2), 85â101.Links:
Free Video: âHow to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or âSucking It Upâ in Silenceâ
Chat with a Physician Coach
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Ever feel like your toughest critic is⌠you? Youâre not alone. In this episode, we dive into the exhausting cycle of self-criticism and how to break free from it. From shifting your inner dialogue to embracing self-compassion (without losing your edge!), we share real strategies to help you thrive in medicine without the constant self-blame.
đĽ What Youâll Learn in This Episode:
â Why your brain LOVES to beat you up (and how to stop it!)
â The power of curiosity over self-judgment
â How to reframe mistakes so they helpânot hauntâyou
â Practical tools to quiet that inner critic and build resilience
â Why perfection is NOT the goal (and what to aim for instead)đĄ Golden Nuggets from This Episode:
⨠âYou wouldnât tear down your 8-year-old selfâso why do it now?â
⨠âYour 80% on a rough day is still someoneâs 100%.â
⨠âSelf-compassion isnât about lowering the barâitâs about setting yourself up for sustainable success.âđ You Deserve This Reminder:
You are whole. You are a gift to medicine. The work you do matters.đ§ Loved this episode?
âď¸ Subscribe for more!
âď¸ Share with a friend who needs this!
âď¸ Leave a reviewâit helps us reach more amazing people like you!Letâs keep lifting each other up. See you next time! đđ
Resources:
Book a Free Session with a Physician Coach
Free Video: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking It Up' in Silence"
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In this insightful and inspiring episode, we take a deep dive into the emotional complexities that shape our experiences as medical professionals. Drawing wisdom from BrenĂŠ Brownâs Atlas of the Heart, we explore how paradox, irony, sarcasm, and cognitive dissonance influence both our interactions with patients and our own well-being.
We unpack the definitions of these concepts, examine their roles in clinical practice, and discuss strategies for navigating these intricate emotional dynamics with compassion and awareness. From the challenges of aligning personal values with professional recommendations to the power of rethinking and unlearning, this episode is filled with thought-provoking insights and real-life examples.
Key Takeaways:
Understanding Cognitive Dissonance:
The mental discomfort of holding conflicting beliefs is more common than we think.
Recognizing and naming our feelings can help reduce their power.
Aligning personal values with professional recommendations can prevent burnout and foster integrity.
Practicing non-judgmental communication builds trust and deepens patient relationships.
Embracing Paradox in Medicine:
Paradox exists when contradictory elements coexist, such as balancing empathy with objectivity.
The "both/and" approach (instead of "either/or") can lead to more nuanced and compassionate decision-making.
Cultivating comfort with ambiguity and practicing reflective listening enhances patient care.
Irony in Clinical Practice:
The outcome of a situation may sometimes contradict expectations, offering powerful lessons in humility and awareness.
Recognizing irony thoughtfully can provide insights while fostering resilience and understanding.
The Role of Sarcasm:
Sarcasm can be a tool for stress relief but also has the potential to alienate others.
Using humor with intention ensures it strengthens rather than weakens connections.
Prioritizing clear and empathetic communication fosters stronger relationships with both colleagues and patients.
Resisting Comfort Over Courage:
Growth happens in discomfortâchoosing to align actions with values, even when difficult, leads to personal and professional fulfillment.
Learning to rethink and unlearn beliefs that no longer serve us is a powerful tool for transformation.
Compassion, both for ourselves and others, is essential in the ever-evolving world of medicine.
Final Thoughts:
ReferencesBrown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. Random House.Festinger, L. (1957). A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Stanford University Press.Cameron, K. S., & Quinn, R. E. (1988). Paradox and Transformation: Toward a Theory of Change in Organization and Management. Ballinger Publishing Company.Booth, W. C. (1974). A Rhetoric of Irony. University of Chicago Press.Lee, C. J., & Katz, A. N. (1998). "The use of sarcasm in conversations: Cognitive and social perspectives." Journal of Pragmatics, 29(4), 503-522.Free Video: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking it Up' in Silence"
This episode challenges us to lean into discomfort, reframe our perspectives, and embrace the complexities of human emotion with curiosity and courage. By fostering awareness, practicing self-compassion, and embracing paradox, we can become more resilient and empathetic physicians, colleagues, and caregivers. -
Ever find yourself stressing over things you canât control? Do you find yourself worrying about the future, the choices of others, or even the state of the world? In this episode, weâre diving into a game-changing mindset shift: understanding whose business youâre in. Inspired by Byron Katieâs powerful framework, we break down the difference between your business, someone elseâs business, and Godâs (or the universeâs) businessâand how this clarity can bring incredible peace into your life.
We discuss how much unnecessary stress comes from trying to control things outside our influence and how redirecting that energy toward what is in our control can help us live with more resilience, joy, and calm. Whether it's health, parenting, work stress, or even politics, weâll help you identify where you can take meaningful actionâand where you need to let go.
What Youâll Learn in This Episode: âď¸ The difference between your business, others' business, and God's business âď¸ How overthinking and âfuture trippingâ create unnecessary anxiety âď¸ Why letting go of control can actually make you more influential âď¸ Practical ways to shift your mindset and reduce stress âď¸ The power of meeting people where they are (instead of trying to âfixâ them) âď¸ How to focus on what you can do to create the life you want
Your Action Step: Next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself: Whose business am I in? If itâs not yours, practice releasing it and refocusing on what you can control.
Letâs Connect! đ Subscribe & leave a review if this episode resonated with you! It helps us reach and support more people just like you. â¤ď¸ đ Follow us on social media for more insights, tips, and motivation.
Remember, peace comes from focusing on what you can control. Keep minding your biz, and weâll see you in the next episode!
Resources:
Loving What Is by Byron Katie
Book a Free Session with a Physician Coach
Free Video: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking It Up' in Silence"
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⨠Welcome back to The Whole Physician Podcast! â¨
Are you feeling emotionally drained, overwhelmed, or struggling to set boundaries in your medical practice? Youâre not alone. Today, weâre diving deep into compassion fatigueâwhat it is, why it happens, and most importantly, how to combat it so you can thrive in both your career and personal life.
What Youâll Learn in This Episode:đĄ Why acknowledging your feelings (instead of suppressing them) can actually reduce burnout
Key Takeaways:
đĄ The power of boundary settingâand how saying ânoâ is sometimes the best way to say âyesâ to yourself
đĄ How organizational interventions (like adjusted schedules and wellness programs) can improve both patient care and physician well-being
đĄ Why simply âtaking a breakâ isnât enoughâfilling your cup with the right activities is key
đĄ How shifting from âfixing everythingâ to compassionate support can protect your energy and peaceâ Self-care isnât selfishâitâs essential for being the best doctor, parent, and human you can be.
Your Next Step:
â Your values matterâalign your time and energy with what truly fulfills you.
â You donât have to do it allâdelegation and teamwork are powerful tools for sustainability.
â Small changes create big resultsâeven a 5-minute mindfulness break can make a difference!Whatâs one small action you can take today to prioritize your well-being? A walk? A quiet moment with coffee? A conversation with a colleague? Whatever it is, weâd love to hear about it!
đŠ Email us: podcast@thewholephysician.com
đą Follow & Connect: @TheWholePhysician on social media
â Leave us a review â Your feedback fuels us!đ§ Join us next time as we explore resilience-building strategies for healthcare professionals. Until then, remember:
đ You are whole.
đ You are a gift to medicine.
đ The work you do matters.Scientific References:
Figley, C.R. (1995). Compassion Fatigue: Coping with Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder in Those Who Treat the Traumatized.
Hojat, M., et al. (2009). "Empathy in Medical Education and Patient Care: An Overview." Academic Medicine.
Cocker, F., & Joss, N. (2016). "Compassion Fatigue: A Meta-Analysis." International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). "Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Stress Management.â
Resources:
Mission Resource Network
Free Video: "How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good) without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or 'Sucking It Up' in Silence"
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In this cozy and heartwarming episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra introduce us to the Danish concept of hygge. As the winter months stretch ahead, they explore how embracing hygge can transform cold, dark days into moments of warmth, comfort, and connection. From lighting candles and layering cozy blankets to gathering with loved ones and enjoying slow, mindful meals, the hosts uncover how this beautiful tradition can help us cultivate happiness even in the chilliest season.
What is Hygge?
Hygge is the Danish art of creating warmth, comfort, and connection in everyday life. Itâs about slowing down, being present, and embracing lifeâs simple joys. With its roots in Old Norse, the word hygge translates to âcomfortâ or âto console,â making it the perfect antidote to winter blues.The Ten Principles of Hygge:
Atmosphere â Soft lighting, candles, and cozy surroundings.Presence â Disconnect from distractions and be in the moment.Pleasure â Savor warm drinks, comforting foods, and lifeâs little treats.Equality â Everyone contributes and shares in the moment.Gratitude â Appreciate the small joys.Harmony â No competition, just togetherness.Comfort â Soft blankets, warm clothes, and cozy corners.Truce â Leave drama at the door.Togetherness â Enjoy deep connections with loved ones.Shelter â Create a sanctuary from the cold.Why Does Hygge Matter?
Denmark consistently ranks as one of the happiest countries in the world, and many believe that hygge plays a role. Studies show that fostering cozy, nurturing environments can reduce stress, increase mindfulness, and boost happiness. Lighting a candle, for example, has been shown to lower cortisol levels, while engaging in a creative hobby can release dopamine.Bringing Hygge Into Your Life:
At Home â Layer soft blankets, light candles, and create a hyggekrog (a cozy nook) for relaxing.In Clothing â Opt for chunky knit sweaters, soft scarves, and warm socks.In Food â Enjoy slow-cooked meals, baked treats, and steaming cups of tea, cider, or cocoa.With Others â Keep gatherings small and meaningful, focusing on deep connection rather than large socializing.In Nature â Take a winter walk, enjoy stargazing under a blanket, or bring seasonal greenery indoors.The Hygge Manifesto:
Turn Down the Lights â Use candles and soft lighting.Be Present â Put away distractions and focus on the moment.Indulge in Pleasure â Enjoy good food, warm drinks, and simple comforts.Share and Include â Embrace togetherness and make space for all.Practice Gratitude â Appreciate whatâs good in life.Embrace Harmony â No competition, just warmth and connection.Seek Comfort â Prioritize coziness in your surroundings.Final Thoughts:
Hygge is more than just candles and sweatersâitâs a mindset, a way of life that prioritizes warmth, presence, and joy. This winter, letâs embrace hygge and transform the cold months into a season of comfort, connection, and simple pleasures.Resources Mentioned:
The Little Book of Hygge by Meik WikingOnline hygge shops for cozy essentialsJoin the Conversation:
How do you bring hygge into your life? Share your thoughts with us on social media using #HyggeLife and tag us!Stay Connected:
Subscribe to the podcast for more inspiring episodesFollow us on Instagram and Facebook @thewholephysicianVisit our website for show notes and resourcesWrap yourself in a warm blanket, grab a cup of tea, and letâs hygge our way through winter together! âď¸â¨
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Welcome back to the podcast! Today, weâre diving deep into empathy in medicineâwhy it matters, how it impacts patient care, and how it can actually make our work as physicians more fulfilling. We all want to be great doctors, but sometimes the fast pace of medicine makes it easy to fall into patterns of judgment, frustration, or detachment. This episode is all about shifting our perspective and learning how to meet patients where they areâwithout burning ourselves out in the process.
What Youâll Learn in This Episode:
â How to respond to patient emotions with validation instead of dismissal
â Why âmeeting emotion with emotionâ creates stronger patient connections
â The hidden impact of judgment (and how curiosity can change everything)
â The truth about addiction, coping mechanisms, and why empathy is key
â How flexing your empathy muscles can actually make your job easier and more rewardingWe also get real about how burnout and job dissatisfaction often stem from these tough interactionsâwhere we try to help but end up feeling unappreciated or frustrated. The good news? With small mindset shifts, we can turn these moments into opportunities for connection and impact.
đ§ Tune in now for practical insights, real-life stories, and empowering strategies to bring more empathy (and joy!) into your practice.
đ Weâd love to hear from you! Share your experiences or thoughts with us at [email protected].
Until next time, remember: You are whole. You are a gift to medicine. The work you do matters. đ
Resources:
Atlas of the Heart
FREE video: How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good)
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In this heartfelt episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra explore the profound difference between sympathy and empathy, inspired by BrenĂŠ Brownâs Atlas of the Heart. With personal stories, thought-provoking insights, and practical takeaways, they unpack how empathy fosters connection while sympathy can unintentionally create distance.
Dive into this conversation to learn how embracing empathy can transform not only patient care but also relationships with loved onesâand even yourself. From real-life âempathy missesâ to actionable strategies for building deeper connections, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to lead with compassion and courage in their personal and professional lives.
What Youâll Learn:
The key differences between sympathy and empathyâand why they matter.Why empathy is a vulnerable yet transformative choice.How emotional intelligence impacts physiciansâ ability to connect with patients and colleagues.Simple ways to practice empathy without experiencing emotional burnout.How empathy builds trust and creates spaces for authenticity and growth.Takeaways for Practice and Life:
Listen Without Judgment: Empathy thrives when we let go of the urge to fix and focus on being fully present.Ask Open-Ended Questions: A simple âWhat are you most worried about?â can open the door to connection.Validate Emotions: Reflect feelings back to others to help them feel seen and understood.Start with Yourself: Build emotional awareness and self-compassion to better connect with others.Balance Empathy: Learn to engage meaningfully while protecting your emotional well-being.Favorite Quotes from the Episode:
âEmpathy isnât about walking in someone elseâs shoesâitâs about listening to the story they tell about their shoes and believing them.â â BrenĂŠ BrownâYou donât have to fix it. Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is just hold space for someone.âResources Mentioned:
BrenĂŠ Brownâs Atlas of the HeartFree Video: How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking it Up in Silence (Link in the show notes!)Connect with Us:
If this episode resonated with you, weâd love to hear your thoughts! Email us at [email protected]. Donât forget to leave a 5-star review and help us spread this message of connection and compassion.
Closing Reminder:
You are whole, you are a gift to medicine, and the work you do matters. Together, letâs cultivate empathy, embrace vulnerability, and build richer, more connected livesâone conversation at a time.
Resources:
Atlas of the Heart
FREE video: How to Crush Physician Burnout (for Good)
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In this episode of Drive Time Debrief, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra tackle the often-overlooked emotion of contempt and its significant impact on physicians, relationships, and the culture of care in medicine. Drawing on insights from BrenĂŠ Brown's Atlas of the Heart and Terry Realâs work on grandiosity and shame, they explore how contemptâwhether directed outwardly or inwardlyâfosters disconnection and damages well-being. The hosts share strategies to recognize, address, and move beyond contempt, helping physicians cultivate connection, empathy, and a wholehearted approach to their work and relationships.
What Youâll Learn in This EpisodeWhat Is Contempt?
Defined as a mix of anger and disgust, often with a sense of superiority.Described by BrenĂŠ Brown as âthe Iâm better than you emotion.âDifferent from anger, contempt creates disconnection and dehumanization.How Contempt Shows Up in Medicine
In interactions with patients, colleagues, and even ourselves.Outward contempt: grandiosity (e.g., judgment, dismissal).Inward contempt: shame (e.g., self-criticism, feelings of inadequacy).Examples: labeling patients, gossiping, or berating oneself after a mistake.The Impact of Contempt
Outward contempt damages relationships and trust.Inward contempt leads to shame, burnout, and isolation.Affects team dynamics, patient care, and personal well-being.Breaking the Cycle of Contempt
Practice Curiosity: Ask, âWhatâs going on here?â instead of judging.Name It to Tame It: Label the emotion (e.g., âIâm feeling superiorâ or âIâm being judgyâ).Cultivate Empathy and Compassion: Replace criticism with understanding and self-kindness.Use Humility to Soften Grandiosity: Listen to others, validate contributions, and normalize vulnerability.Engage in Self-Reflection: Journaling, coaching, or therapy can uncover patterns of contempt.Building a Culture of Respect in Medicine
Model Vulnerability: Normalize imperfection and create safety for others to do the same.Address Contempt Gently: Call out harmful behaviors with care and respect.Prioritize Psychological Safety: Foster an environment where team members feel safe to speak up.Key Takeaways:Contempt, a hidden driver of stress and disconnection, has two extremes: outward grandiosity and inward shame.Small, intentional stepsâlike practicing self-compassion and empathyâcan shift us toward healthier, more connected ways of living and working.By modeling respect, humility, and self-awareness, physicians can influence the culture of medicine for the better.Resources Mentioned:BrenĂŠ Brownâs Atlas of the HeartTerry Realâs work on grandiosity and shameThe Four Horsemen research by John and Julie GottmanDonât Miss Our Free Video:
Check out our free resource, How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good Without Cutting Back Hours, Quitting Medicine, or Sucking It Up in Silence. Click the link in the show notes to access it today.Stay Connected:
Weâd love to hear your thoughts or experiences related to this episode. Email us at [email protected].If you found this episode helpful, please leave a 5-star review and share it with a colleagueâit helps us amplify our ripple effect!
You are whole. You are a gift to medicine. The work you do matters.
Next Episode: Tune in as we explore Empathy vs. Sympathy. See you then!
Resources:
Atlas of the Heart
Terry Real
How to Crush Physician Burnout for Good
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