Afleveringen
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Suppose that something is bothering you about your partner. The two options are to express it or to suppress it. Likely you have had moments where you have chosen both options. At times when you have expressed it your partner received it well, other times it caused tension or even conflict.
Over time maybe you have started to hold things in instead for the sake of keeping the peace. But then down the line you end up reacting to another situation and you bring up your unhappiness and frustration with all you have been holding in. So when is the right time to bring things up?
This is the question you will get answers to in this episode. It does take a balance and some awareness about how and when to bring up an issue. During this episode you will hear 3 situations where you should express and another 3 situations where it would be best to âtemporarilyâ suppress. With this awareness you should be able to navigate emotional situations for the best outcome for both of you. After all, expressing needs and being understood is a key part of your marital satisfaction.
Relationship Resources đ
If you want a consistent way to bring things up before they build up⌠The Family Meeting Guide is for you.
It helps you check in weeklyâso small frustrations can be shared as seeds, not weeds. Use it on its own, or get it FREE as a bonus when you join the Prioritizing Us Challenge starting May 1st, 2025.
đ Grab the Family Meeting Guide here
đ Start the Prioritizing Us Challenge (and get the guide) -
Marriage isnât static; it evolves, and to thrive in it, you have to evolve too. Often, itâs the resistance to this truth, not just the circumstances you face, that makes marriage feel more difficult. Satisfaction goes down, frustration goes up. Thatâs why personal growth and self-awareness are non-negotiables in a long-term marriage.
In this episode, we unpack what âpersonal growth and developmentâ actually looks like in a relationship. Youâll hear six key areas to reflect on and bring more awareness to within yourself, before turning to what you want your partner to change. Growth starts with awareness, but weâll also share specific ideas and actions you can take in each area. This is the path both partners must walk individually so the marriage can continue to evolve in a connected, fulfilling way.
Relationship Resources âŹ
If youâve felt stuck in patterns lately, donât miss this. Weâve temporarily re-opened the replay of our Marriage WebClass that 8,000 couples joined last month.
Go to OnlineCouplesWorkshops.com to watch it, and right after registering, youâll get access to a rare bundle deal of our most powerful marriage guides.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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âThroughout the course of your life, you will be married 2â3 times. For some, this will be to the same person.âThis sentiment is becoming more widely recognized, and it means you need to be ready for your marriage to evolve. Those who arenât ready (or who donât accept this) often go through harder seasons and are more likely to split from their partners. We will all face difficult chapters in the lifespan of a marriage, but those who accept the evolution are the ones who can re-make their marriage with the same partner.
Todayâs episode is about the importance of being able to rebuild a marriage when a couple arrives at this crossroad. Youâll hear the 7 steps couples go through to repair and rebuild their marriage for the next season ahead. This is one of the hardest things to do, so itâs not expected that youâll take all these steps now, or even on your own. But knowing this is the path to rebuilding can give you clarity and hope that you can turn your marriage into what you want it to be.
This episode is meant to help you understand the process and then use one of these resources to guide you through practical steps in this difficult (but ultimately rewarding) phase of marriage. đ
Start the 30-Day âRebuilding Us Couples Challenge", to get daily prompts straight to your inbox that give you the steps to have these rebuilding conversations.
Use the âSteps to Rebuild a Marriage Guideâ to see and follow the tangible steps of the conversations in each of the 7 steps discussed in this episode. Both resources can be found here: MeetTheFreemans.com/rebuild
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You can love your spouse and still feel overwhelmed by the unspoken responsibilities constantly running through your mind. The mental load is the invisible to-do list in your headâand when roles and responsibilities feel imbalanced, it can quietly erode connection, create resentment, and impact intimacy.
In this episode, weâre joined by Dr. Morgan Cutlipâ author of the upcoming book A Better Share: How Couples Can Tackle the Mental Loadâfor one of the most important conversations couples need to have.
Together we explore:
⢠How to bring up the mental load in a way that unites you, not divides you
⢠A simple but powerful question your spouse can ask instead of getting defensive
⢠What unspoken resentment actually sounds like in day-to-day marriage
⢠The surprising link between mental overload and decreased intimacy
⢠And how to reset your roles and reconnect as a teamWhether youâre the one carrying the weight or youâre not even sure what the âmental loadâ really isâthis episode will open your eyes and strengthen your marriage.
đAnd make sure you order her amazing book right here!
Hereâs Dr Morganâs IG, too!
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This is the logical followup from last weekâs episode about emotional intimacy differences, which is about maintaining physical intimacy with your partner the longer you are together. It might seem obvious to say that men and women are different in this area yet in this episode you will hear a breakdown of some of the modern challenges that lead to a decline in physical intimacy for men and women. Many of these things are the predictable, daily life tasks and stressors that all couples will have.
The main takeaways from listening to this episode will be 6 different things you can take action on now to increase and maintain your satisfaction in your physical intimacy. These are not going to be the mechanics of intimacy however, but the things every couple needs to do and communicate about to be on the same page and better understand what intimacy means to each partner for the season you are currently in as a couple.
Relationship Resources:
1) The LIMITED EDITION Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge, is starting again April 1st, 2025. Over 4000 couples completed this challenge to start this year, many of which felt a real shift even after the first 5 days. We got so many requests for the challenge again, that we are bringing it back for April. But won't be available for another 5-6 months. So do not miss this opportunity to bring back that SPARK đĽ
2) After this challenge window closes, take a look at the next available challenges of Prioritize Us or Rebuilding Us. âŁď¸
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Emotional intimacy is a key part of your having high satisfaction in your marriage. The challenge becomes maintaining this the longer you are together with your partner. There are a number of reasons for this that you will hear in this episode, one of the obvious ones being that each partner feels connection in different ways.
In this episode you will hear a breakdown of the differences in emotional intimacy for men and women. You will hear 3 different ways that both men and women feel emotionally close so that you can begin to bring more emotional intimacy into your relationship that meet your current needs and preferences. Over time even your partner begins to seem like âjust another part of your dayâ which reduces the potential for connection. You also might think you know what makes your partner feel emotionally close⌠but you will be surprised to find that idea outdated for what they need in this current season.
Relationship Resources:
1) The LIMITED EDITION Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge, is starting again April 1st, 2025. Over 4000 couples completed this challenge to start this year, many of which felt a real shift even after the first 5 days. We got so many requests for the challenge again, that we are bringing it back for April. But won't be available for another 5-6 months. So do not miss this opportunity to bring back that SPARK đĽ
2) After this challenge window closes, take a look at the next available challenges of Prioritize Us or Rebuilding Us. âŁď¸ -
Things are going to happen in your life and marriage. When they do, are you on the same team or find that you turn against each other? This is one of the most important ideas when it comes to having a successful marriage. As hard as we try we just canât avoid conflict or even external situations happening in our lives that we do not like. But the differnece for successful marriages is that they stay on the same team and do not let these stressors amplify an already difficult situation.
In this episode today you will hear 5 principles for staying on the same team when both small and big things happen in your life together. Remember that whatever situation you find yourselves in is temporary but how you handle it can have a lasting effect on your marriage. When you handle them together you build trust, confidence and your bond; when turn against each other, you make it worse, lose trust, and build resentment.
Relationship Resources âŹ
As mentioned in the episode, get the Family Meeting Guide to help you navigate challenging moments and seasons with the weekly, quarterly, and yearly check-ins to stay on the same team no matter the challenge đ https://thecouplesexperience.com/family
Alternatively, you can get the Family Meeting Guide for free as a bonus for starting the Prioritize Us 30-Day Couples Challenge starting in 2 weeks at đ https://mycoupleschallenge.com/
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Everyone should have the appropriate expectation that things in life wonât always be easy or go your way. This is the same in marriage. Having harder seasons of marriage is a part of the journey a couple needs to accept. Now these harder seasons can come from two places: external circumstances and from poor interactions of your own making!
In this episode you will hear about the 3 changes that need to be made to better handle these hard seasons. The situation will be different based on whether it is an external circumstance out of your control or whether it is from a series of poor patterns that have formed between you. In both cases, making these 3 changes will allow you to handle the season with more togetherness and come out of it stronger.
Relationship Resources:
âĄď¸ Level 1: âPrioritizing Usâ is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun âLove Depositâ ideas. LINKED HERE
âĄď¸ Level 2: âRebuilding Usâ is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HEREđĽ Also if you have not watched the Couple Things interview with Shawn Johnson & Andrew East, make sure tune into this great interview about Navigating Happy and Hard Seasons of Marriage on YouTube.
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Set aside all the things you DO in your marriage and answer this question. Is your heart more open or closed to your partner? It is easy to get stuck in all of the tasks and responsibilities within a marriage and even think that getting these done is the main goal. But what is your experience like most of the time? You can get all your tasks done, but have a heart that is closed off to your partner and you experience disconnection, distance, unappreciation, or even resentment.
The true goal in a marriage is to have an open heart because this is when you experience love, connection, joy, understanding, happiness, and fulfillment. In this episode you will explore this idea of living more with an open heart and get 5 steps to take to keep from closing your heart off to your partner. In the end, we are here to âadultâ and get done what we need to, but it will really only add to your marriage satisfaction if you complete these tasks while staying open to each other.
Relationship Resources:
Join the 30 Day Couples Challenge that is the best fit for keeping your heart open:
âĄď¸ Level 1: âPrioritizing Usâ is focused on strengthening your connection, communication, and fun âLove Depositâ ideas. LINKED HERE
âĄď¸ Level 2: âRebuilding Usâ is focused on repairing and rebuilding after a harder season of marriage. LINKED HERE
đ For all the other resources, including the guides and webclasses: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
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Last week was our LIVE Marriage Webclass on effective communication, de-escalating conflicts, and repairing after an argument. If you missed registering for that FREE event, you can still access the replay link here. There was so much that we covered that we did not have time to answer any of the questions pertaining to the Before, During, and After skills that we taught.
So on todayâs episode we will cover the 3 most common questions we received at the end of the class, so that everyone that was on can get those answers. If you did not watch, you can use the link to still watch, even if you did not, these are very common questions that will be very meaningful for you to hear. These answers will be very practical so that you can use them in your own life immediately. These are the questions you will hear answers to:
â What can I do? How do I handle when my partner is defensive/not receptive despite the timing of the conversation.
â How do you communicate when expressed needs go unmet? What to do if/when agreements are broken?
â What do we do when our partner usually doesn't allow us to take a timeout from a conflict?
Relationship Resources:
âĄď¸ As you listen, make sure you watch the REPLAY of our Live + Free Marriage WebClass. We only host this ONCE a year, and this link will only be available for one more week.
âĄď¸ Find the links to all the guides and 30-day challenges with our resources page here. https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
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When you are not having the same type of conversation it is very easy to misunderstand each other. When there is misunderstanding it is easier to get frustrated and have the conversation escalate into a conflict. It is important to know which type of conversation you are having, a logical or emotional one, so that this doesnât happen.
As much as any one of us thinks we are logically minded people, there is still an underlying emotional need such as respect, understanding, love, partnership ect. This is definitely the case whenever there is some tension or upset. In those moments you have to realize that to be effective in your communication with each other, emotions come before logic. This statement can bring up a few questions so dive into this episode to undercover how to better identify when an emotional conversation is needed versus when you can stick to the logical details of a conversation.
Relationship Resources:
âĄď¸ As you listen, make sure you register for our Live + Free Marriage WebClass coming up February 19th, 2025. We only host this ONCE a year, so donât miss it!
âĄď¸ Find the links to all the guides and 30-day challenges with our resources page here. https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
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Raising oneâs emotional intelligence (EQ) is a critical factor in the long term satisfaction and maturity within a marriage. Without this, the depth of a coupleâs connection will be limited and small emotional disruptions will turn into bigger conflicts (and likely never address the root cause). This is a term you have likely heard of before in terms of marriage and other important relationships in your life. But it can often be too abstract and conceptual to be put into practice.
In todayâs episode you will hear 5 skills that build EQ. You will get a clear definition of each of these skills as well as the practical action to take to strengthen that muscle. These 5 skills do build on themselves and can be seen as sequential. So as you work on each of these, be sure you are completing each step before moving to the next. By listening to this episode you will have a clear understanding of how to raise your EQ and the benefit it will be for your relationship.
Relationship Resources:
âĄď¸ As you listen, make sure you register for our Live + Free Marriage WebClass coming up February 19th, 2025. We only host this ONCE a year, so donât miss it!
âĄď¸ Find the links to all the guides and 30-day challenges with our resources page here. https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
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As fellow parents, we share in that deep responsibility you feel to equip your kids with healthy relationship skillsâand conflict is a huge part of that!
How you and your partner handle disagreements doesnât just impact your marriage; it actively shapes how your kids will navigate conflict in their own future relationships.
In this episode, weâll break down four key aspects of conflict that your kids need to witnessâand how small shifts can make a lasting impact.
âĄď¸ As you listen, make sure you register for our Live + Free Marriage WebClass coming up in February. We only host this ONCE a year, so donât miss it đFor video content follow on IG: @meet_the freemans
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You are likely aware that conflicts are going to happen, they shouldnât be avoided, but accepted that they will happen. But how you handle the conflict determines whether it can be connecting and clarifying or it escalates and causes hurt. What really causes it to escalate is when you each are triggered and you let that trigger cause you to just react.
In this episode today you will hear how you can better recognize emotional triggers, which has to be the first step, and then how you can de-escalate before a bigger conflict arises. A key takeaway is that you need to recognize your own triggered events and reaction patterns, but as a partner, how to recognize these in your partner as well.
You will then hear the 2 responsibilities you each have, followed by practical steps to de-escalate as you practice these things. This is the true work to be done in marriage, your marital satisfaction depends on your ability to recognize triggers and keep yourself from reacting in more hurtful ways.
Relationship Resources:
DO NOT MISS the once per year LIVE Marriage Webclass with The Freemans. The date is set for Feb 19th, 2025. This will be a virtual, 1 hour weblcass to communicate more effectively, de-escalate conflicts, and repair from conflicts fully. The class is FREE, but will be limited to 1000 attendees live. There will be a recoding as well, but you will need to register to have it sent to you. We will see you there! Register here: https://onlinecouplesworkshops.com/
After the date passes, you will be able to find the recording and all the other guides and challenges with this link: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links
Follow us on Instagram @meet_thefreemans
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When you have a marriage conflict there are a few options you have as a partner. You can react or you can suppress it. Neither of these are good options. Your two good options are to repair or have a more simple debrief conversation.
In this episode you will hear the simple steps to take to have a debrief conversation. You will hear the difference between when a repair conversation is needed and when you just need this type of debrief conversation. By implementing these steps you can avoid lengthy conversations and get back on the same page faster with the productive steps to be on the same team to move forward.
Relationship Resources From Epsiode:
DE-ESCALATE CONFLICTS GUIDE: A realistic guide to managing your emotions and keeping simple conversations from escalating into overblown fights. Itâs the De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions Guide and itâs only $19.
REPAIR CONFLICTS GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure itâs resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. Itâs the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and itâs only $19.
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Most everyone gets into a marriage for the positive feelings of love, compatibility, passion, and creating a future together. Itâs these great feelings and potential outcomes that can happen that make marriage a desirable thing. What most people miss is what it requires to be married and maintain the feelings of togetherness and high satisfaction through all the unforeseen challenges and obstacles. It is funny how we all think our relationship will be different from all those who went before us⌠but the fact is you need to be ready to evolve in ways you canât see right now.
In this solo episode you will hear from Aaron as he walks through 3 areas of evolution that you need to accept and be ready for if you want to be successful in marriage. Continuing a thread from the previous episode about the acronym COMMITTED, you will dive further into the area of Evolution and Adaptation and these three areas you need to be willing to adapt in, first as an individual, and then as a couple, to have your marriage stand the test of time!
Relationship Resources:
1) This is the last week to participate in the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge. Over 3000 couples have started the challenge to start this new year, many of which felt a real shift even after the first 5 days. This challenge is for JANUARY ONLY, but you can register now and start on Day #1 immediately while getting the 30 consecutive challenge activities right to your inbox.
2) After this challenge window closes, take a look at the next available challenges of Prioritize Us or Rebuilding Us. -
Marriage is about bringing out the best in each other. Are you in a season of marriage where you can say that you are bringing out the best in each other? This doesnât always happen as it does take more intention the longer you are together. Sometimes your conflict patterns of reactions can make it seem as if you are bringing out the worst in each other. Other times you feel constrained and limited in your self expression and individual pursuits because your partner doesnât accept those parts of you.
In this episode you will hear 6 different actions you can take to actually bring out the best in each other for this year ahead. These actions will be steps to take each day that demonstrate your acceptance, understanding, and support of each other and the person you are each becoming in the marriage. Marriage is itself an evolution and taking these 6 steps will allow for the required individual evolution to happen to become the best versions of yourselves.
Relationship Resources:
To go along with this epiosde, you can be securly on the path to brining out the best in each other by sign-up for the SPECIAL EDITION 30-day couples challenge âThe Best of Usâ which is now open (but for January ONLY!) This challenge is designed to reignite the spark in your marriage with Intimacy Activities, Connection Prompts, and Appreciation Gestures.
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The end of a year is a time to reflect. For our purposes here, itâs a time to reflect on your marriage challenges and identify what you need to alter for the next year, or where you can celebrate the wins that you took from those challenges. Why this is so critical comes down to one of the fundamental aspects of successful marriage⌠the ability to adapt and evolve!
In this episode we will share our own challenges and wins from 2024 and then intentions and commitments we have going into 2025 in terms of our marriage getting better and better. We hope you can take away the principles and lessons learned from our own challenges and keep yourselves from experiencing the same challenges as we did!
THEN, Sign-up for the SPECIAL EDITION 30-day couples challenge âThe Best of Usâ which starts January 1st (and will be closed the rest of the year!) This challenge is designed to reignite the spark in your marriage with Intimacy Activities, Connection Prompts, and Appreciation Gestures.
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No one gets married to feel like roommates, so letâs talk about being romantic partners. In this episode, weâre diving into how to reignite the spark, stay emotionally connected, and make intimacy a priorityâeven in the midst of busy schedules, kids, and daily responsibilities.
By listening you'll hear practical ways to overcome complacency, keep the romance alive, and create moments of connection that strengthen your bond. Whether itâs through small gestures or intentional conversations, youâll leave with actionable tips to feel closer and more in love with your partner this year. Donât miss this conversationâitâs one every couple needs to hear!
Relationship Resources:
Sign-up for the SPECIAL EDITION 30-day couples challenge âThe Best of Usâ which starts January 1st (and will be closed the rest of the year!) This challenge is designed to reignite the spark in your marriage with Intimacy Activities, Connection Prompts, and Appreciation Gestures.
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Marriage is both challenging and rewarding. One of the reasons for this is that it takes evolving into a better and better partner as the years pass. If both people accept this evolution then it leads to a great marriage, even through the inevitable challenges that a couple will face.
With all the marriage content out there it can seem overwhelming, complex, or even uncertain about how one can become a better version of themselves in terms of the relationship. In this episode you will be given the acronym COMMITTED to outline the 9 things that an individual needs to do over the course of a marriage to become their best version and play their role in experiencing a truly great marriage together.
From the episode mention, join the brand new January ONLY "Best of Us" Couples Challenge starting January 1st, 2025 - this new 30 day challenge is for couples to get out of the function and routine of a busy life and spark more closeness, excitement, & intimacy for the new year.
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