Afleveringen
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Welcome to ADHD Late Diagnosis and Writing with Flic Everett: Episode 118 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham Podcast
It was such a delight to interview journalist and novelist Flic Everett. I’ve been aware of her writing long before I even became a freelance journalist in 2004 but we’ve been online friends for a good while and was inspired by her move to Scotland when feeling scared about my own move to Ireland a few years later.
In Late ADHD Diagnosis and Writing with Flic Everette: Episode 118 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD, Flic shares her love for pottering and decorating, charity shop treasures, reading, hot baths, walks in nature, yoga, why her Inner Teenager wouldn’t want her wisdom and advice and more.
Do you think your Inner Teenager would listen to you?
le grá (with love),
Ev3
LINKS
Flic Everett
https://www.instagram.com/f.l.everett_author/
https://www.facebook.com/p/FLEverett-61551319733773/
Available in bookshops and libraries everywhere, you can also buy Flic’s books using this affiliate link https://amzn.to/3SGGEnE
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Episode 32: Author and podcast host, Joanne Mallon
Episode 47: Create your dopamenu
Episode 83: Community as self-care with Elizabeth Potts
Choose your own adventures: New adventures in the works including Inner Child Play, Stop Self Loathing, Move Past People Pleasing and Purpose, Meaning and Joy
https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introducing Flic Everett and finding your own version of self-care
03:30 From journalist to cosy crime novelist
09:32 Ideal self-care day of pottering, nature and simple pleasures
13:32 ADHD, creativity and the satisfaction of making things
15:46 Hot baths, thrillers and finding moments of calm
16:29 Nature, yoga and feeling part of something bigger
24:34 The importance of friendship and building community
31:06 Old friends, life lessons and being kinder to yourself
34:50 A grounding exercise to end the episode
#fliceverett
#fleverettbooks
#cosymurdermysteries
#readingasselfcare
#writingasselfcare
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The feet are the most distal point from the brain, so anytime we’re working with the feet in yoga or giving yourself a massage, you’re kind of waking up the whole body, you’re treating your whole self. So just notice for yourself which of these things feel friendly to experiment with.
Welcome to episode 117 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD. Learn to love and care for all your parts from the soles of your feet to your soul. I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham and I’m your host and the producer and you can find out more, access older episodes, full transcripts, free resources, all sorts of things at solestosoul.ie. So that’s s-o-l-e-s-t-o-s-o-u-l.ie and there’ll be a link in the show notes.
In today’s episode, I’m talking about something I never thought I’d be talking about, feet.
When I rebranded at the beginning of this year, I’d been Feel Better Every Day for so long, selfcarecoaching.net, and Soles to Soul felt really appropriate because my approach is very grounded, it’s very embodied and it also works with the transpersonal and energy. So Soles to Soul, it kind of encompassed everything. And it also brought on a bit of a reckoning for me personally, where I’ve been awful to my own feet my entire life.
Now I understand more about sensory differences and AuDHD, I have more compassion for that, and I’ve actually been able to work with my feet, understanding that it’s harder for me than it might be for someone more neurotypical. Or other ADHDers, everyone has different sensory differences. But I remember as a teenager, my brother being like, chop them off already, because I used to moan about having feet so much.
But the learning to love and care for all our parts, from the soles of our feet to our souls meant I had to really connect with my own… It’s been HIDEOUS. And beyond heel-ing (geddit? Heel? Heal? Sorry not sorry).
I hope this episode will help you connect with your own feet and send them more love and care. Let me know how you’re getting on.
le grá (with love),
Ev3
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction and why feet matter
01:13 From hating my feet to heeling my relationship with them
03:51 Shock breakthrough in yoga class
10:03 FEEL.: caring for your feet and your nervous system
14:45 LOVE.: accepting and appreciating your feet
17:01 HEAL.: standing tall and supporting others
19:03 Younger you, foetal (feet-al) position and feeling safe
22:53 Grounding practice: from the soles of your feet to your soul
LINKS
Choose your own adventures: https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Episode 51: Reconnect with the earth and your Self
Episode 73: Befriending your Traumatised and ADHD Inner Child
Episode 82: Love Yourself, Warts and All
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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I’ve done it again and got the dates mixed up so this one’s going out EARLY in order to give you the SUMMER SOLSTICE benefits for this (gloriously sunny here in the west of Ireland – I swam across the Shannon and back today in just my swimsuit. BEST SWIM EVER) weekend.
This episode offers ways of working with the solar plexus chakra and more to get that sunshiney, powerful and JOYFUL vibe even if everything feels stormy.
What helps YOU?
How might you make life easier for yourself?
As you reflect on your contributions to the world, both current, imaginary, past, ideal, also think about ways in which you can make things more easy, more effortless, how you can work with the seasonal energies, how you can work with nature.
le grá (with love),
Ev3
CHAPTERS
00:00 Summer solstice and the gift of ease
01:52 Feeling safe enough to shine
03:39 FEEL: Reflecting on your impact
06:59 Adventures programme update
09:57 LOVE: Radical acceptance
11:19 HEAL: Community and connection
13:51 Looking back, looking forward
Choose your own adventures: https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/
Episode 114: Sacred Ireland with Dr Karen Ward
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Episode 36: Self care for despair
Episode 63: ADHD, trauma and the Solstice
Episode 98: Self Care When Trauma Triggers are Everywhere
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
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I recorded this before the racist mobs inflicted terror in Belfast. It’s even more important to look after yourself. And this may feel impossible when fascists are running amok.
The weekend I talk about in this new episode, less than two weeks ago (at time of writing this) was bookended by the fantabulous Panti Bliss’s If These Wigs Could Talk at Westport Pride and the parade then Dublin for the amazing Kimberlé Crenshaw, Backtalker. It went a long way towards healing the heartache I’d been feeling about racism in Ireland.
I’m facilitating a workshop for therapists, coaches, supervisors and other helping professionals, Sustainable Practice When the World is on Fire for onlinevents.co.uk on 22nd August and hope you’ll join me to support yourself and your communities in protecting your nervous system in order to live wholeheartedly and lovingly.
Something Panti Bliss said during her show has stuck with me: A quick nod to the “suspension of disbelief” around acting as if she was beautiful and the audience also acting as if she was beautiful.
She WAS and IS.
Beauty radiates from every pore when people let themselves shine (more on shining in ways that feel safe for your nervous system in next week’s Summer Solstice episode!)
Love truly is stronger than hate and the more you celebrate your whole self and connect with communities that help you do so, the better.
Can you imagine a world in which everyone was nurtured and supported in finding ways to express their uniqueness instead of being hurt for it?
As I say in the episode: if every child, if every adult had the support to flourish, to be celebrated, to their unique gifts, to be nurtured and finessed and the world’s problems could be solved and there’d be so much more joy and collaboration.
And I know I sound way too old to be so idealistic but this was how we were created, this is how we are wired: we are wired to thrive when we feel safe, welcome and loved and we know this now through modern neuroscience.
By not loving others, by not welcoming others, by making others unsafe, we are making ourselves unsafe, we are making ourselves less loved, less welcome.
We’re creating a hell on earth when there could be a heaven on earth.
If humanning feels too much at the moment, with everything that’s going on, give yourself permission to hang out under the duvet and regroup. 2026 is a LOT.
I still believe we can defy dystopia but it’s about continuingly checking in with yourself to identify whether you need self-care, Self care or community care.
Sending love to everyone everywhere.
le grá (with love),
Ev3
LINKS
Panti Bliss https://www.instagram.com/pantibliss
Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.instagram.com/kimberlecrenshaw
Related episodes
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Episode 80: Own your privilege, change the world
Episode 83: Community as self care with Elizabeth Potts
Episode 84: Be kinder to your extra-sensitive nervous system
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
CHAPTERS
0:00 An unforgettable weekend and finding joy in difficult times
2:54 Mayo Pride and feeling inoculated against despair
6:17 Dancing, celebration and the healing power of joy
9:37 Speaking up, community and restoring faith in people
13:30 Kimberlé Crenshaw, hope and responsibility
15:44 The FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. framework in action
20:10 Self-acceptance, love and personal transformation
25:14 Pride, belonging and celebrating who you are
26:29 Community, connection and turning pain into action
29:07 Reflection: finding sources of joy
HASHTAGS
#belfast
#pride
#intersectionality
#kimberlécrenshaw
#pantibliss
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It was SUCH a delight to speak to the fantabulous Dr Karen Ward again for this episode. She’s moved from Dublin to Cork and reminds us that we have everything we need within us. Yes, she’s now immersed in magical, Sacred Ireland (I love that oracle deck she created as well as her Brigid deck) but even in the midst of a city, you can connect with nature and the Divine.
I hope you enjoy listening (or watching) as much as I enjoyed catching up with her!
le grá (with love),
Ev3
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Sacred places, liminal spaces and belonging
(02:46) Karen’s journey into holistic and shamanic work
(08:17) FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. and creating a nourishing life
(10:13) Nature, place and the healing power of the sea
(15:32) Community, work and what truly regulates us
(20:51) Finding grounding and connection wherever you are
(24:34) Community care, Moon Mná and being held
(27:57) Advice for a younger self and trusting life
(30:46) Growth, healing and always learning
LINKS
Moon Mná
https://moonmna.ie/
Slí An Chroí
https://www.slianchroi.ie/
Dr Karen Ward https://drkarenwardtherapist.ie/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drkarenwardtherapist/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drkarenward
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Episode 20: Dr Karen Ward on energy work and Sacred Ireland
Episode 43: Honouring Brigid and the Divine within you
Episode 96: Sensory Soothers for Trauma and AuDHD this Brigid
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
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In Healing Sexual Trauma with Erika Shershun: Episode 113 of the Soles to Soul Care with Eve Menezes Cunningham podcast, I’m delighted to introduce the somatic psychotherapist who specialises in helping trauma survivors reclaim the life they were meant to live.
When you think about what YOU’ve survived, how does it feel to imagine, however outlandish it may feel, that you CAN heal? When you read or hear those words about the life you were meant to live, how does it feel to reconnect with potentially forgotten dreams and goals?
le grá (with love),
Ev3
Erika’s the author of the Healing Sexual Trauma Guided Journal: Writing and Somatic Practices to Help You Process, Heal, and Feel Safe, the Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook: Somatic Skills to Help You Feel Safe in Your Body, Create Boundaries & Live with Resilience, and the PESI Sexual Trauma Clinical Training. The workbook is available in Spanish (Tengo Un Trauma Corporal?), Polish, Russian, and Romanian, and the journal is available in Turkish.
Her approach is trauma informed, rooted in somatic principles, drawing on neuroscience and integrative modalities such as EMDR, Brainspotting, energy psychology, mindfulness, self-compassion and parts work.
Erika values diversity, offers individual online therapy sessions in California, and provides coaching to clients outside of the state. You can contact her at HealingSexualTrauma.com, ErikaShershunTherapy.com, or follow her @erikashershun.
Sexual Trauma Clinical Training: Interventions to Cultivate Safety, Release Shame and Guilt, and Nurture Boundaries is available at PESI.com
HealingSexualTrauma.com
ErikaShershunTherapy.com
@erikashershun
https://www.instagram.com/erikashershun/
LINKS
Erika Shershun
https://erikashershuntherapy.com/
https://feltsenseresonance.com
Donna Eden’s five-minute energy tune-up
Bradley Nelson emotion code
https://discoverhealing.com/gb/the-emotion-code
Louise Swartswalter Mind Gems:
www.brainsoulsuccess.com
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Episode 48: Cattitude: Purr! Hiss! Freeze!
Episode 64: Trauma not ‘post’ traumatic stress but ongoing?
Episode 55: EFT Tap Along for Stress Awareness Month
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Healing, growth and advice for a younger self
(02:22) Erika’s books and journey into trauma work
(07:55) Discovering somatic healing after years of therapy
(13:02) Post-traumatic growth and self-care
(16:36) Grounding practices and toe tapping
(26:06) Self-compassion, spirituality and healing tools
(35:22) Self-agency, choice and nervous system healing
(39:02) Co-regulation, connection and cats
(42:04) Hope, healing and final reflections
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I met Claudia Cahalane nearly 20 years ago on an online forum for freelance journalists. I had started my coaching and complementary therapy practice at the same time as going freelance as a journalist with no contacts and, pre social media, it was a brilliant forum to get (and give) encouragement and support.
Since then, I’ve added loads more therapies, counselling and supervision and Claudia has retrained as a Qi Gong instructor.
It was such a joy to reconnect and catch up and I hope you find our conversation helpful.
You can watch or listen wherever you get your podcasts and access full transcript, show notes, links and more at https://solestosoul.ie/2026/05/26/communitea-and-qi-gong-with-claudia-cahalane-episode-112-of-soles-to-soul-care-for-trauma-and-audhd-with-eve-menezes-cunningham/
When you think about your own communiTEAs (geddit?), where do you want to put in more energy and time? Who’s most important to you? What’s most important to you?
le grá (with love),
Ev3
#traumarecovery
#qigong
#claudiacahalane
#teaceremony
#solestosoulcarefortraumaandaudhd
LINKS
Claudia’s website:
https://vitalityqigong.org/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vitalityqigong/
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Episode 83: Community as Self Care (with Elizabeth Potts)
Episode 87: Movement as Medicine with Gwen Williams
Episode 59: Meditation (with trauma and ADHD) isn’t impossible
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
CHAPTERS
(0:00) Introduction
(1:57) Welcoming Claudia Cahalane
(2:48) Silent retreats and early experiences
(7:24) Discovering Qi Gong and the power of silence
(10:29) Burnout and becoming a Qi Gong teacher
(14:37) The Feel. Love. Heal. framework
(16:18) Ideal self-care and daily practices
(21:26) Essential self-care for low energy
(22:59) Self-love, meditation and tea rituals
(25:44) Tea ceremony and cultural roots
(30:00) Community, loss and life transitions
(35:19) Rethinking friendships and belonging
(40:06) Nature as community and connection
(42:44) Creating and holding community
(44:35) Advice to a younger self
(46:05) Where to find Claudia and closing reflection
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FIND OUT MORE ABOUT EV3RYTHING - email [email protected]
It’s an utter delight to share my interview with the fantabulous Zeenat Ahmed-Peto for this week’s episode. The cognitive hypnotherapist and author (Too Kind: A Survival Guide for Sensitive Souls) shares her journey to extreme self-care.
I met Zeenat through Suzy Walker (see links for her interview and gorgeous Heartleap community) and hope you are as inspired by her story about learning to receive care and love as I’ve been.
le grá (with love),
Ev3
CHAPTERS
(0:00) Burnout and learning to care for yourself
(2:23) Introduction and welcome to episode 111
(2:34) Meet Zeenat Ahmed-Peto
(3:40) Zeenat’s work and background in hypnotherapy
(5:18) Too Kind: A Survival Guide for Sensitive Souls
(6:13) Personal healing journey and chronic illness
(9:21) Feel: Ideal and essential self-care
(11:32) Sleep, stretching and walking as essentials
(14:07) Love: Learning to rest and receive care
(18:20) Heal: Community, connection and belonging
(21:17) Message to a Younger You
(23:18) Closing reflection and body scan
LINKS
Website:
https://zeenatahmedpeto.com/
Substack:
The Authentic Connection
I'm Zeenat, a cognitive hypnotherapist & teacher. I love running communities to empower as many people as I can. Expect increased self-love, connection and joy through personal development & community. 🌟
By Zeenat Ahmed-Peto
Heart Leap:
Heart Leap
Building a simple, happy, creative life that makes your heart leap. Join our Heart Leap writing community
By Suzy Walker
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
RELATED EPISODES
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Suzy Walker on meditation and more: Episode 14 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast https://solestosoul.ie/podcast-feed/former-psychologies-editor-suzy-walker-talks-big-leaps-heart-leaps-meditation-and-more-as-she-shares-her-ideal-and-actual-self-and-self-care-practices/
Gill Fennings on taking things slow: Episode 15 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast
Sarupa Shah on the art of doing nothing: Episode 6 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast
Too Sensitive? Too Much? Says Who? Episode 78 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast
HASHTAGS
#zeenatahmedpeto
#sensitivesouls
#sensorydifferences
#audhd
#solestosoulcarefortraumaandaudhd
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It was so lovely to revisit my London Bridge psychosynthesis training roots and talk to the delightful Allan Frater for Episode 110 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham.
He shares some of the ways in which he honours his imagination and integrates self-care, Self care and community care into his whole life.
LINKS
Buy Allan’s latest book here https://amzn.to/4d5XSmk (affiliate link)
Website:
https://wildimagination.uk/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Allan-Frater/100073610989149/
The Psychosynthesis Trust:
https://psychosynthesistrust.org.uk/
Related episodes
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Shake, Cry and Let Go with Emily Rosenkranz: Episode 104 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD
Community as Self Care (with Elizabeth Potts): Episode 83 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast
Own Your Privilege, Change the World: Episode 80 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
CHAPTERS
(0:00) You are important, valuable and worthy
(1:53) Introduction and welcome to episode 110
(2:02) Meet Allan Frater and their shared training history
(3:46) Allan’s new book and imagination in therapy
(5:48) Waking Dreams and being imaginative
(7:30) Feel: principles of self-care and embodiment
(10:54) Attention and protecting focus in modern life
(13:11) Love: connection through relationships
(17:00) Heal: community, differences and polarisation
(22:13) Responding to world events and collective context
(25:18) Message to a younger self
(28:48) Closing reflection and body scan
HASHTAGS
#allanfrater
#imagination
#psychosynthesis
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Am feeling a bit morto – two mistakes with this episode:
· Bealtaine is pronounced be-al-ten-ah (not be-al-tayne as I was saying) and· I GOT MY WEEKS MUDDLED UPThe Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD normally goes out Tuesday morning 7am Irish time but because I just realised (AuDHD brain), next week’s ep – this one – is OUT NOW so you can actually make USE of it in 2026!!!
Self-compassion, giving myself grace, a thousand DOH!s etc…
Still, I hope you enjoy it as we welcome the start of summer. As I write this, I have washing drying outside, have cycled into town and back and am feeling the seasonal shift which I’m looking forward to honouring more in the coming days – and with the Full Moon this Friday too.
Let me know how you get on with these simple ideas for celebrating and see you in nearly two weeks now!
le grá (with love),
Eve
LINKS
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
Bhangra Joy with Aakriti Kaushik: Episode 108 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD Podcast
Related episodes
If you enjoyed this, check out:
Love your inner Smelly Cat this Bealtaine and beyond Episode 56 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast
More Joy, Less Angst: Trauma-Informed Yoga for AuDHD Episode 93 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast
Shake, Cry and Let Go with Emily Rosenkranz: Episode 104 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD
Own Your Privilege, Change the World: Episode 80 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast
CHAPTERS
0:00 Bealtaine and choosing love in challenging times
1:05 Podcast intro and self-care for trauma and AuDHD
2:39 Feel: Let it all out
3:49 From pain to joy: Using joy as your GPS
5:26 Why joy matters for stress and resilience
6:41 Love: Connecting with your highest Self
7:47 Heal: Community, co-regulation and connection
8:57 Practising mudita and celebrating others
10:09 Bealtaine tradition: Flowers, blessings and neighbours
12:17 Choosing joy as an act of care and resistance
13:08 Closing reflections: Feel. Love. Heal.
HASHTAGS
#bealtaine
#mayday
#mudita
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Happy Bealtaine, happy May Day. That’s going to be this Friday with the Full Moon, and I thought I’d do a special episode to celebrate the Celtic festival of love, lust and fertility.
And I really want to focus on ways in which you can help yourself fall in love with yourself, fall in love with your life, fall more in love with your loved ones and fall in love with the world.
We’re living through very challenging times, and if we tell ourselves that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, then it’s really depressing and it disempowers us and we forget about all the amazing people in the world, under insanely horrific conditions, who are still attempting to do the right thing and caring for others and creating good works and being forces for love and joy and peace.
Read the full transcript at https://solestosoul.ie/blog
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At time of writing, am aching in the best possible way from the first of Aakriti’s regular Bhangra dance classes at Grit Fitness and Dance – if you’re local enough to Westport, check them out. I’m planning to be there as many Wednesday evenings as possible because SO MUCH JOY!
And, to my astonishment, while feeling like a monster during one of the moves last night, I did improve. I’d loved the taster workshop in February (before this interview was recorded) but had no confidence in my ability to actually manage the (simple!) steps but… I have some hope now (and even if I don’t, it’s a great workout and So Much FUN).
Dance is so good for trauma and AuDHD. And the bilateral movement in some of the steps, while feeling tangled up in my brain, is, I know, contributing to healthy neuroplasticity as well as fitness. And did I mention the joy?
The fact that I’m learning an Indian dance style in my new home country (over 7 years since I immigrated here now!), Ireland and being Indian Irish definitely contributes to the joy but Bhangra is a joyful Punjabi dance form from the north of India, associated with feasts and celebrations of harvest.
The expansive, heart opening upper body movement as well as the gorgeously grounding lower body movements … am still beaming writing this.
I hope you love listening to my interview with Aakriti as much as I loved talking to her. She is such a great teacher, modifying it for those of us who were struggling as well as a superstar there at the front who was managing the more advanced steps with seeming ease.
So Much Fun.
Do you dance?
What style?
What advice do you have for beginners?
Let me know in the comments or by email.
le grá (with love),
Eve
CHAPTERS
(0:00) How dance connects us to emotion and something deeper
(0:25) Introducing Aakriti and the joy of Bhangra
(1:50) Movement as pleasure rather than something we have to do
(4:04) Meeting Aakriti and finding connection through community
(5:12) From engineering to meditation and Bhangra
(9:31) Why dance evokes emotion and joy
(11:46) Self-care practices shaped through challenge
(16:06) Letting go of perfection and adapting your routine
(18:39) The one essential practice: meditation
(23:16) Interconnection, purpose and supporting others
(27:01) Starting small with meditation and building consistency
(32:35) You are already worthy just as you are
(34:10) Closing reflection and invitation to care for yourself
LINKS
Aakriti Kaushik: https://www.instagram.com/bhangra_westport/
https://solestosoul.ie/book
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Episode 107 is a really unusual episode of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD because my guests for this one are Peadar and Danny, a couple of very young entrepreneurs from Atlantic Valets. Not technically self-care professionals and yet, when I met them recently, something they said made me realise they’d be delightful guests and they were.
I love their energy, enthusiasm and desire to help their customers. If you’re in or near Achill, check out Atlantic Valets and wherever you’re based, I hope this episode reminds you that you deserve clean, organised and welcoming environments. It can especially challenging to create and maintain them with ADHD but supports do exists.
What helps you keep your car clean (enough)?
le grá (with love),
Eve
LINKS
Atlantic Valets
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/61587721393866
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/atlanticvaletsanddetailing
Jayne Leonard on cooking as self care: Episode 28 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast
The book https://solestosoul.ie/book
Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
CHAPTERS
(0:00) The gap between wanting to care for ourselves and finding it hard
(0:30) Atlantic Valets’ Danny and Peadar and their approach to car valeting
(4:21) Making car cleaning feel more doable for ADHDers, one step at a time
(6:26) Finding a simple system to support focus and reduce overwhelm
(8:13) The power of small details and taking pride in what we do
(9:57) Everyday self-care and coming back to the present moment
(15:41) Connecting with love through dogs, family and close relationships
(17:34) Feeling held by community and giving back
(20:08) Gentle advice to a younger version of ourselves
(21:28) A moment to reflect and offer yourself care
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Many people listening, they will have AuDHD or ADHD and there’s the gulf between basic self-care in terms of what we would like to be doing for ourselves and what is more of a challenge. So I will ask you a little bit about that, like how might listeners make it easier for themselves to clean their own cars?
Welcome to episode 107 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD podcast. I thought they were so adorable when I met them at a local networking event.
I wanted them to come on and help all my ADHDers to clean your car, know that you deserve a delicious car to drive around in.
They are Danny and Peadar from Atlantic Valets and they are so new to business and they’re doing so much amazing work so quickly. I’ve been going for like over nearly 22 years now and they are so on message and just so joyful and delightful.
I hope that they’ll inspire you to keep your environments clean, to outsource it where that’s an act of self-care for yourself. They’re based in Achill but wherever you are you might have similar and I really hope you enjoy this very unusual episode.
Read the full transcript and access free downloads and more at https://solestosoul.ie/2026/04/21/cleaning-your-care-with-adhd-episode-107-of-the-soles-to-soul-care-for-trauma-and-audhd-with-eve-menezes-cunningham-podcast/
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Have you ever wondered how we’ll ever have peace, freedom, justice, SAFETY and equality when half the population has been systematically erased from what most people in this society consider divine?
Since hearing from much younger women that the Divine Feminine – such a healing force in my own trauma recovery and life these last 30+ years – has been co-opted to be used against women as “Divine femininity”, this episode shares some self-care, Self care and collective care ideas for people of ALL genders to experiment with.
There are SO many Goddess archetypes, from around the world, that have helped me with my trauma recovery and for the graphics for this episode, I chose (to honour my Indian Irish roots):
· Kali who reminds me of Divine Detox. Letting go. Diving deeper into life’s crashing waves instead of arguing with reality. Her tongue sticks out to represent her catching drops of blood and absorbing evil in order to transform and heal.· A photo I took at Uisneach of Eiru (for whom Eire, Ireland, was named).· The Greek Goddess archetypes were the first I came across and I adored Persephone’s transformation from traumatised into Queen of the Night and a guide for others. As I’ve learned more over the decades, her mother, Demeter, who fought for her freedom, represents our need to heal in connection. To coregulate.· and a Cosmic Egg with some hopeful looking sperm.With all that’s going on in the world, it’s always worth remembering that none of us choose or do anything to deserve who we happen to be born to, wear, what gender, etc etc etc.
We’re all connected. And by connecting to the Divinity (as well as humanity!) in ourselves and others, we can hopefully find more compassion and give ourselves and others more grace.
Le grá (with love),
Eve
If you’re a trauma survivor and AuDHDer like me, or you simply find self-care more of a “should” than a joy, this podcast is for you.
I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham, a trauma therapist, AuDHD and self-care coach, senior accredited supervisor, columnist and author of 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-Care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing.
Each Tuesday I share a mix of solo episodes and conversations with other self-care professionals. From other therapists, coaches, yoga teachers and authors to neuroscientists and medical professionals, many of them neurodivergent themselves and all honest enough to share the gap between their own ideal and their ACTUAL self-care.
Find Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham every Tuesday on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Substack, and wherever you get your podcasts.
Learn to love and care for all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul.
And for bonus content, polyvagal-informed journal prompts and more, sign up for my free newsletter, Míle Buíochas Mondays, plus 100s of free body mind practices, at solestosoul.ie
LINKS
https://www.livescience.com/health/fertility-pregnancy-birth/the-choice-of-sperm-is-entirely-up-to-the-egg-so-why-does-the-myth-of-racing-sperm-persist
Free Downloads https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads
Polyvagal Purrs https://solestosoul.ie/feline
Meggan Watterson https://www.instagram.com/megganwatterson/
Jean Shinoda Bolen
https://www.jeanbolen.com/
Sally Kempton
https://www.sallykempton.com/
Moon Mná
https://moonmna.ie/
Laura Dowling
https://lauradowlingofficial.com/
Dr Karen Ward
https://drkarenwardtherapist.ie/
Clodgah O’Connor
http://clodaghoconnor.com/
Chapters
0:00 Systemic oppression and the red thread
0:42 Podcast introduction and rebrand
1:44 Introducing the Divine Feminine
2:56 How Divine Femininity has been hijacked
4:53 Reclaiming balance and receptive energy
5:42 Personal journey with the Divine Feminine
7:33 Erasure of women in spiritual history
8:25 The red thread and reconnecting inward
9:42 Polyvagal theory and empowerment
10:06 Feel. Love. Heal. framework overview
10:36 Feel: exploring your relationship with the Divine Feminine
13:00 Love: healing, acceptance and reclaiming power
15:20 Heal: connection, circles and co-regulation
16:33 Closing reflection and inner connection
FULL TRANSCRIPT
To recognise that it is systemic oppression, I got a little thread, a little red thread tattoo a few weeks ago after I had gum surgery and found out I couldn’t swim for an extra week or so, so it’s just my little reminder about that thread that connects us back thousands and thousands of years and that divine love is within all of us, all our genders, like whatever gender we are and that women, we just need to go inward
Hi, you’re listening to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD. Learn to love and care for all your parts, including your trauma and AuDHD, from the soles of your feet to your soul. So this was previously the Feel Better Every Day Podcast.
I hope you’re enjoying exploring the rebranded site solestosoul.ie, accessing all the free resources at www.solestosoul.ie/free-downloads - finding out how you might work with me.
I’m Eve Menezes-Cunningham, I’m your host, I’m a columnist, author, podcast host and producer. I’m a trauma therapist, trauma survivor, AuDHD-er and AuDHD coach and self-care coach, where I integrate all of my offerings from psychosynthesis counselling to crystal therapy, including NLP, EFT, integrative counselling and coaching.
I’m forgetting something quite major, life coaching. Let me know if you’ve got any questions and as you listen to today’s episode, I hope that you’ll connect with how you’re feeling.
We’re working with Divine Feminine, not Divine Femininity. I recently became aware from some younger women that the Divine Feminine, which I’ve been working with for decades, and increasingly more and more of us are, after thousands and thousands of years of patriarchy and being left out. I was apparently, when I was a small child, when we moved from London to Essex, I asked the priest when I was four, why were there no women priests? And I think because my name is Eve, I took the Bible very to heart. I was raised Catholic and the recognition that women and minorities were systematically erased, that Christianity, Christ consciousness was all about equality and love for all and peace and the way it’s been so hijacked.
But that’s not what this is about. Divine Femininity has been hijacked. I came across fairly recently, the idea of the egg and the cosmic egg as Meggan Watterson talks about.
And the idea is that it’s this ultimate, kind of in her beautiful card, the Divine Feminine Oracle. The cosmic egg made me think of something I heard through Kate Northrup. So her mother, Christiane Northrup, Dr. Christiane Northrup, did amazing work around wisdom of menopause a long, long time ago, decades ago.
And she, Oprah helped her popularise it. Unfortunately, she’s gone quite conspiracy theorist. But one thing that I really remember loving what I heard, we grow up in this patriarchal society, sex education, it’s very much the sperm, the strongest and impregnates and all of that.
Whereas apparently, the egg chooses the sperm. And that was my alarm. I’ve got a client in a few minutes.
I’m going to just start this again when I have more time. No, I’m not. It’s all good.
So it’s very much the language we grew up in with this white supremacist patriarchal society is all about the man, all about the sperm, all about the like the strongest sperm, like impregnates, like kind of fertilises the egg, whereas apparently, the egg chooses the sperm.
[There’s a link in the show notes about how this keeps being discovered by scientists, forgotten and rediscovered – much like the Divine Feminine]
So where I heard about how Divine Femininity, femininity was being used against women, the idea of being very passive, being very receptive in a way of being very submissive, like we all have masculine energy, we all have feminine energy. And the more imbalanced we are, the more we’re using all of it, the more joyful and lovely our lives are.
But if it’s being used against people but at the same time, many women, myself included, have to work on recreating that more receptive egg energy, where we’re able to receive good things where we’re able to not be do.
Like for a long time, it was like women can be everything that men can be. And it’s that women end up then typically doing all the things we can step back, we can just be. My introduction to working with the Divine Feminine really helped saved my life in my 20s, my early 20s.
So initially reading people like Jean Shinoda Bolen, Goddesses in Everywoman, where she talked about the Greek goddess archetypes. And then Awakening Shakti, Sally Kempton, I was kind of reconnecting with my Indian heritage. I’m Indian Irish, born in London, sound English, look white.
But it was lovely learning more about I’m looking up at my bookshelf there. And in case you can see, that’s not a very good way to show you. But that was really gorgeous learning more...
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Today’s episode builds on Episode 48: Cattitude: Purr! Hiss! Freeze! and the Polyvagal Purrs approach I developed years ago to include MORE of the Divine. More of what inspires awe, love, hope and other transpersonal – beyond the person – qualities. Nature? (Cats are part of nature and so are you!) Great art? What helps you connect with suPURR (super ventral) energy?
How can you do more of these things on purpose?
If you’re a trauma survivor and AuDHDer like me, or you simply find self-care more of a ‘should’ than a joy, this podcast is for you.
I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham, a trauma therapist, AuDHD and self-care coach, senior accredited supervisor, columnist and author of 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-Care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing.
Each Tuesday I share a mix of solo episodes and conversations with other self-care professionals. From other therapists, coaches, yoga teachers and authors to neuroscientists and medical professionals, many of them neurodivergent themselves and all honest enough to share the gap between their own ideal and their ACTUAL self-care.
Find Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham every Tuesday on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Substack, and wherever you get your podcasts.
Learn to love and care for all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul.
And for bonus content, polyvagal-informed journal prompts and more, sign up for my free newsletter, Míle Buíochas Mondays, at solestosoul.ie
LINKS
Deb Dana
https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/
Stephen Porges
https://www.stephenporges.com/
365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing https://solestosoul.ie/book
Cattitude: Purr! Hiss! Freeze! Episode 48 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham watch
CHAPTERS
0:00 Not about spiritual bypassing
1:07 Podcast introduction and rebrand
1:28 Background with polyvagal theory
2:18 Introducing a fourth state
2:59 Purr! ventral vagal safety and connection
3:25 Hiss! sympathetic survival stress response
3:58 Freeze! dorsal vagal shutdown
4:26 Naming and understanding nervous system states
5:22 Introducing suPURR (super ventral)
6:01 Feel: self-care practices to access suPURR
8:07 Love: connecting with your inner self
9:43 Heal: collective care and co-regulation
10:53 Awe, DHEA and reducing stress
11:39 Focusing on hope and positive stories
12:29 Closing and reflection prompt
HASTHAGS
#polyvagalpurrs
#newpodcastepisode
#traumainformed
#yourepartofthedivine
#evemenezescunningham
FULL TRANSCRIPT
It’s not about spiritual bypassing, very much not. If you take the example of yoga, if you have a yoga practice or any kind of psycho-spiritual practice, I’m always struck, because I’m a yoga therapist as well, watching people when I’m teaching, doing it myself. I know that I can be going through an emotional rollercoaster and look very serene.
I also know that feeling all the feelings, allowing what’s coming up for to come up is so, so powerful. This is not about pretending super, awe, pride, joy, all the things, love. It’s about really connecting with all your parts and knowing that there’s so much more to you than all of the angst, everything you’ve survived, everything you’re worried about, challenges you might be facing, being able to connect with that more than, but also recognising the reality, recognising what is.
You’re listening to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham. It used to be the Feel Better Every Day Podcast and I’m still getting used to the rebrand after so long. Here’s little Meadbh and it feels appropriate for today’s episode where I’m introducing a fourth state.
I’ve been working with Polyvagal Theory since I learned about it in 2011. From 2013, when I adopted Rainbow Magnificat, I started using her to help me with my own inner critic, with my own healing of my nervous system and trauma recovery. Then as the other cats came into the picture, I learned more and more, did more and more training, got more and more experience, saw just how effective all these ways of working are with clients.
I’ve been presenting on it. I’ve written about it in journals. I love being paid to find pictures of the rescue cats to illustrate quite a heavy theory.
It really does help people understand it better. More recently, I’ve added a fourth. Deb Dana, who made polyvagal theory so much more accessible, it’s Stephen Porges’ baby and she made it more accessible to clinicians.
She does phenomenal work. She talks about super ventral. For ventral vagal, I call it Purr! because in an ideal world, we have that feeling of safety and connection.
We’re like a cat at ease, able to purr, enjoy life. We’re curious. We’re happy.
It’s safe to connect. Life feels good. It’s all purry.
That doesn’t mean cats aren’t able to change their state, just as we do. We’re not in ventral vagal or what I call Purr! the whole time, but the more we can have that curiosity, that compassion, whatever’s going on around us, whatever’s going on inside us, the better for our overall wellbeing.
Hiss! is what I call the sympathetic survival response, that stress response. When we feel under threat, when we feel disconnected from people, when we act out, we might fight, we might flee. These are all adaptive survival responses. Nothing wrong with it, but in an ideal world, if we can’t even find compassion for ourselves, Deb Dana says even one drop of curiosity is all we need and beginning to think what might help you, might get you back into that Purr! That ventral vagal.
Then we have the dorsal vagal, what I call Freeze! Where the system is overwhelmed and we’re in collapse. We might be numbing. We might be dissociating.
We might be indulging in habits that enable us to numb, but it’s feeling hopeless. It’s feeling overwhelmed. It’s not a happy, joyful place to be by any stretch.
I go into all of these stages, all of these states in episode 48. So if you want to listen to that, but just for yourself, just getting a sense of, I encourage people to find their own names for them. It’s just Purr! Hiss! Freeze! helps because it is easier to remember for most people than ventral vagal, sympathetic survival and dorsal vagal.
The key is remembering your nervous system is never wrong. Your nervous system has kept you alive. It’s kept you safe. It’s helped you deal with whatever you’ve had to survive. They’re all adaptive survival responses. Someone who has grown up knowing that it’s safe to connect with others is an advantage.
It’s like I heard some person say growing up with parents with regulated nervous systems is like growing up with millionaires for parents. And it kind of is, but at the same time, whatever age you are, wherever you are, we can begin to heal it.
Today, I want to introduce what I’m calling suPURR
That’s su, then PURR. And it’s for Deb Dana’s super ventral. And it’s where we bring in the more than the person, the more than the spiritual, the transpersonal and the thinking of the kinds of things you can do to make it more likely that you’ll be able to connect with this amazing energy, which of course helps us be more in ventral vagal, more in that Purr!
For the Feel part of the framework, that’s the like lowercase s self-care, the regulatory things we can do, think about things you can physically do when you have the bandwidth to bring you into suPURR or super ventral. So it might be taking yourself to the beach or to the ocean or to a mountain or to a forest or some kind of nature that feeds your soul, that helps you feel.
It might be taking yourself down the driveway to watch a sunset or sunrise. It might be taking yourself to a gallery to view some art that touches your soul. It might be taking yourself to a concert or whatever it is, think about the kind of things that help you get beyond Purr!
It might take more energy and the more you can do, the more you can connect with this, the more you can fill your environment with things that promote you remembering. Nature is wonderful for so many people, but it’s not limited to nature.
It can be, I’m going back at time of recording, I’m planning my first trip back to London in, it will be two years. And the idea of seeing some of the architecture, some of the arts, obviously people, loved ones will be amazing. But whatever brings you or whatever inspires you, whatever helps you connect with that, WOW, I can’t believe maybe you did something incredible, or it might be like a seventh wonder of the world, or it might be an amazing piece of art by someone else. Or it might be thinking about an incredible feat that someone has survived or endured, or like a new creation.
Think about what helps you connect with that suPURR beyond energy when you have the bandwidth to do that regulatory self-care. When it comes to the love part of the framework, the Feel. Love. Heal. framework I developed, let yourself just be. Remind yourself that you don’t have to go outward at all.
You can go inward. You can connect with the divinity within yourself, just as cats don’t need reminders of their divinity, of their magnificence. You have that within you.
You don’t need to change a thing. You don’t need to be striving, or doing, or producing, or anything. You can just be and marvel at your body, for example.
Even if you’re not happy with your body, your poor body has probably been through so much criticism because we live in a world where so much judgement is placed on these bodies that...
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ACCESS 100s OF FREE BODY-MIND PRACTICES, POLYVAGAL-INFORMED JOURNAL PROMPTS AND SO MUCH MORE AT HTTPS://SOLESTOSOUL.IE
What does self-care look like when you’re 25, newly independent, and realising that taking care of yourself is up to you? In this week’s episode, I’m joined by one of my favourite yoga teachers and youth worker, the delightful Emily Rosenkranz.
As with all my guests, we get into the ideal and ACTUAL daily self-care, Self care and collective care.
Since recording this episode, I (twice her age) was inspired to keep MY phone outside the bedroom. Having got over my concern that a serial killer would break in (and my partner suggesting I ask to borrow theirs), I remembered the decades I walked the earth before phones were a thing (in my life at least).
My first Phone Free Night, I spent half an hour standing in the hallway scrolling before making it to the bedroom BUT it’s worth it.
Other topics include the simple morning journaling practice it took three years to actually start, shaking for trauma healing, the magic of collective healing through women’s circles, co-regulation, and what it feels like to cry in a room full of people without anyone needing to fix a thing.
Do you sleep with your phone in the bedroom? Let us know in the comments or email [email protected]
le grá (with love),
Eve
CHAPTERS
0:00 In an ideal world my days would revolve around self-care and self-love
0:14 Podcast introduction and Eve’s background
4:26 Introducing Emily Rosenkranz
5:08 Emily’s work in yoga and youth work
6:13 The Feel. Love. Heal. framework explained
8:03 Ideal self-care and building supportive daily routines
10:03 Keeping the phone out of the bedroom for better wellbeing
17:04 Self-love, yoga practice and connecting with the body
18:39 Shaking, crying and releasing the stress cycle
22:09 Breathwork and pranayama for nervous system regulation
24:30 Community, co-regulation and women’s circles
28:15 Advice to a younger self about healing and change
30:44 Reflection and closing thoughts
LINKS
https://www.instagram.com/emilyrosenkranz/
https://moonmna.ie/
Dr Karen Ward on energy work and Sacred Ireland
https://solestosoul.ie/book
#stresscycle
#emilyrosenkranz
#traumainformedyoga
#neurodivergence
#evemenezescunningham
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Are you curious about how ADHD medication might work for you? Maybe you’ve already tried it? Or you’re happy with your prescription and it’s changed your life for the better? I’d love to hear from you.
My journey with ADHD medication (and ADHD and AuDHD) is still very much unfolding but here’s Part 2 of my evolving journey and some of the ways in which I’ve been using self-care practices as medication on days I can’t take it.
Both AND.
If you can take it daily, brilliant. If you’re not taking it at all, brilliant. We’re all different and this is purely my experience now (likely different to if I’d tried it decades ago).
I hope you’ll find it helpful and connect with (if you haven’t already) others to learn from their experiences too.
le grá (with love),
Eve
CHAPTERS
0:00 Considering ADHD medication and sharing personal experience
0:30 Podcast introduction and Eve’s background
4:47 Why it was time for an ADHD medication update
5:28 Starting medication and adjusting the dosage
6:05 Side effects and why I don’t take it every day
7:20 What medication changed about my daily life
8:59 Using the Feel. Love. Heal. framework
9:11 Movement, exercise and regulating ADHD symptoms
12:45 Accepting medication and letting go of shame
14:01 Community, neurodivergence and shared experiences
15:37 Reflecting on whether medication is right for you
17:01 Reflection and closing thoughts
LINKS
Will ADHD Medication Work for Me?
https://solestosoul.ie/2025/07/29/will-adhd-medication-work-for-me-episode-69-of-the-feel-better-every-day-podcast/
HASHTAGS
#adhdmedication
#adhdsupport
#selfcareforadhd
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Are you curious about whether ADHD medication might work for you? I’m not a pharmacist, I’m not a psychiatrist, but I shared my initial eight days diary of medication last year (Episode 69: Will ADHD Medication Work for Me?), and there’ll be a link to that episode in the show notes, and that was the very early days, and I realised that it was probably due an update.
If you’re a trauma survivor and AuDHDer like me, or you simply find self-care more of a “should” than a joy, this podcast is for you.
I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham, a trauma therapist, AuDHD and self-care coach, senior accredited supervisor, columnist and author of 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-Care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing.
Each Tuesday I share a mix of solo episodes and conversations with other self-care professionals. From other therapists, coaches, yoga teachers and authors to neuroscientists and medical professionals, many of them neurodivergent themselves and all honest enough to share the gap between their own ideal and their ACTUAL self-care.
Find Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham every Tuesday on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Substack, and wherever you get your podcasts.
Learn to love and care for all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul.
And for bonus content, polyvagal-informed journal prompts and more, sign up for my free newsletter, Míle Buíochas Mondays, at solestosoul.ie
Are you curious about whether ADHD medication might work for you?
I’m not a pharmacist, I’m not a psychiatrist, but I shared my initial eight days diary of medication last year, and there’ll be a link to that episode in the show notes, and that was the very early days, and I realised that it was probably due an update, because I’m recording this in February 2026, so it’s been a good while, and my relationship to medication has changed.
I was put on Tyvense, it’s a stimulant medication, aka Vyvanse, and initially I felt like I was cheating at life, it felt amazing, and it was, it still is, but especially at that time, there was an enormous amount of stress behind the scenes that I had no control over, so I wasn’t put up to the full dose, because I didn’t want to go up.
And I actually then, with side effects, went back down to a lower dose, so my current dose is 30mg, and I don’t take it every day, because as much as I love it, it doesn’t agree with me, so it agrees with me in the ways in which it really helps, but it doesn’t agree in terms of, I’ve developed skin conditions, it impacted my digestion, and I had worse hot flushes than I’d had when I was perimenopausal and so there were other things as well, a lot of dry mouth, but I think it was really the skin conditions that really scared me a bit and I was lucky I didn’t have heart issues around it, because that had been a delay initially with beginning it, because an abnormality had shown up, but I was told that was fine after having additional tests.
And my journey is going to be different to yours or anyone else’s, but my hope is that by me sharing some of what has helped me and what continues to help me, it will give you ideas, and also the more we all share, the more we learn from each other, it’s really reassuring to hear other people’s experiences.
And I miss it, like I now take it once or twice a week and I arrange my workload around it where possible, because it is amazing being able to focus and concentrate and not be kind of having to double check a four-digit number several times in order to type it in.
Today I didn’t take it, and I don’t know if you can see, I managed to kind of bruise myself taking a top off in yoga, one of my layers, I tripped over a sofa on my way to the swimming pool, I went back out to the car because I wasn’t sure if I’d locked it or not, before that I had to take a swimsuit out of my emergency swim kit, because I had packed up my fins, my goggles, my snorkel, my swim hat, my toiletries, my towel and not a swimsuit, so luckily I had a spare.
But this used to be me every day, like returning to the house several times, had I locked it, what had I forgotten, going back, the whole like chaos, and just thinking that was life.
And then when I got to try the medication it was like, oh my god, this is amazing, I get to leave the house and go! So I do find the contrast, especially the day after one of my days ON the medication. But at the same time I have compassion for myself and I know that there are things I can do to help.
Moving into the Feel part of the Feel. Love. Heal. framework, so the Feel part is the regulatory, the self-care, the things we can actually do when we have the bandwidth to help us feel better. For me, swimming is huge, and since learning that balance is really helpful for the cerebellum in terms of treating ADHD symptoms, I do even more underwater handstands and I walk on my hands, I don’t know what it looks like from above, but in my imagination it’s very Simone Biles, very elegant, it’s probably not, but just feeling, walking, I pretend to be an underwater dinosaur, it makes me very happy.
And I realise that I’m working with my brain, I’m going to four yoga classes a week most weeks, I’m swimming in the pool three times a week most weeks, time in the steam room to completely relax, still doing my practically almost every day yoga nidra, I facilitated one of my Westport Lunar Circles last night (at time of recording) and created a lovely yoga nidra for the group there.
I just adore yoga nidra because it helps with dopamine, it helps with deep rest and relaxation, it gives our wandering brain something to focus on, to dip in and out of, the balancing poses in yoga can be really helpful, the following the instructions, the listening to someone else, and taking that moment, any kind of exercise, really, really wonderful for us.
I’m not cycling as much as I’d like to be, the weather, unfortunately, since I learned to drive, I’m less keen to get out on my bike in the rain, and I’m not walking as much as I was. I am, but not up and down the lane as much, which I miss and I will get back to, but it’s a real privilege being able to attend so many yoga classes and swim a lot, so think about movement that works for you, think about movement that helps you.
I really see it as insurance, I see it as medicine, both for my mental health, for my brain, for the ADHD traits, for my mood and also for my joints, for my muscles. So many neurodivergent people have chronic pain conditions, also with trauma and inflammation, the body attacks itself so much, like going on, I want to do what I can to heal as much as possible.
And I also want, when I tell people in my imagination 97 is going to be my peak, I am joking, I know that there are things that I can do to make 97 hopefully as healthy and fun as possible and I want to do them, it’s not just enjoyable now, but thinking about my future, wanting to be independent, wanting to enjoy life for as long as possible, think about what makes you feel good, think about the kind of movement, the kind of exercise, the kind of activities, the kind of behaviours, the things that are easy to do and the things that take more effort.
I used to have to cycle a few miles to get to the pool but I knew that it made me feel better and it was worth doing, the cycling feels good as well, you might have something in your home that you can do quite easily, you might have things where you don’t have the energy to do the bigger things, you can do something that moves you in that direction, just get to know yourself, get to know what works.
Moving to the Love part, I’m accepting it, I’m accepting how lucky I was to be able to try the medication, I’m lucky to still be able to take it once, maybe twice a week and I’m lucky that I thankfully don’t need it when I’m hyper-focused on some writing or...
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This week, for the Spring Equinox and World Oral Health Day, I’m sharing some self-care ideas for supporting yourself through dental treatment with sensory differences.
I’d been feeling quite proud of myself for handling the gum surgery and all it brought up (flashbacks etc) but then, boom, dental claim rejected.
So this whole episode about advocating for yourself, with sensory differences and other AuDHD traits and symptoms, while helpful, didn’t help me with the finances of it all as I’d thought I had been advocating for myself and don’t know enough about dentist language to be able to discern in the same way that the insurance people do. I’d never had to deal with it before. So while I’m improving with the self-compassion but am feeling pretty frustrated that am €500 short and need to pay out loads more in two weeks!
And that’s life!
Progress not perfection!
Healing being far from linear!
And, with my ongoing aim to not argue with reality and ask how any problem is actually trying to help me, I guess I needed the gum surgery and couldn’t have made it happen had I known it wouldn’t have been covered.
What I really notice is that even with my lack of dental and periodontal jargon knowhow, my attitude towards myself is kinder. For most of my 50 years, I’d have been, “I should have somehow KNOWN” whereas now I’m like, you know what? I’m not a dentist. I have no idea what any of the labels mean and that’s on them for being misleading and not at least having a glossary with lay terms.
How about YOU?
As you watched or listened and scanned all your parts (including your teeth!) from the soles of your feet to your soul, what needs YOUR attention?
Are you fobbing yourself off in any way?
Look after yourself and let me know what helps you do the far less pampery and indulgent but very important types of self-care in terms of looking after your teeth, your finances and this one and only body you have for your entire life…
Le grá (with love),
Eve
CHAPTERS
0:00 Finding support and community around sensory differences
0:43 Podcast introduction and Eve’s background
5:09 World Oral Health Day and anxiety about dental care
6:03 Neurodivergence, shame and struggles with dental hygiene
8:49 Advocating for sensory needs during dental treatment
11:42 Healing after surgery and the impact of long-term infection
15:04 Using the Feel. Love. Heal. framework for medical anxiety
17:52 Self-compassion and asking for support during treatment
23:10 Collective care and involving others in your healing
25:06 Encouragement to seek treatment and share experiences
27:18 Reflection and closing thoughts
LINKS
World Oral Health Day -
https://www.worldoralhealthday.org/
Book bonus videos - https://solestosoul.ie/book/yoga-videos/
Metta meditation - https://solestosoul.ie/2019/10/02/self-care-metta-meditation-for-when-the-news-is-especially-challenging/
#worldoralhealthday
#audhd
#trauma
#dentist
#solestosoulcarefortraumaandaudhd
#evemenezescunningham
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It was such a delight to talk to Therapy Growth Group and Good Enough Counsellors founder and fellow ADHDer Josephine Hughes again for Episode 101. Josephine hosts two podcasts (there’s a link to an episode I was on with her in the links below), Good Enough Counsellors and Gloriously Unready.
Previously, the Feel Better Every Day Podcast, you’re listening to what’s now the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham podcast. Learn to love and care for all your parts, including your AuDHD and trauma, from the soles of your feet to your soul.
This week, Josephine shared her love of chocolate with my Míle Buíochas Mondays subscribers and in this full episode of the podcast, Josephine talks about the journey she took with her church community in terms of becoming more inclusive and loving.
“You can be fully inclusive and therefore be in line theologically with the Bible, or you can say, no, no, no, that’s not what the Bible says at all. And really between the two positions, people try and fudge it, but it’s either one or the other. So our church, very fortunately, decides to go for full inclusivity. And it was a journey we all went on together, but we did lose a lot of people.”
She also shares her love of music and ever-increasing self-compassion.
Again, as you listen, notice what you’re most aware of in your physical, energetic, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies as you scan all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul.
Let me know in the comments or by emailing me at [email protected]
le grá (with love),
Eve
HASHTAGS
#josephinehughes
#evemenezescunningham
#goodenoughcounsellors
#faith
CHAPTERS
0:00 Self-criticism and the idea of being good enough
0:19 Podcast introduction and Eve’s background
4:30 Re-introducing Josephine Hughes
6:03 The Good Enough Counsellors community and imposter syndrome
12:09 Ideal vs good-enough self-care
15:06 The importance of being heard and understood
16:20 Music, faith and feeling loved and accepted
21:02 Community care and finding an inclusive church
24:28 Advice to a younger self about self-worth
28:27 Where to find Josephine and her work
29:45 Reflections and mini energy and body scan
LINKS
https://solestosoul.ie/book for free resources including book bonus videos for 365 Ways to Feel Better
Episode 23: Josephine Hughes
Eve guesting on Josephine’s Good Enough Counsellors Podcast
Connect with Josephine
Good Enough Counsellors:
https://josephinehughes.com/
Gloriously Unready Podcast: https://gloriouslyunready.com/podcast/
Facebook Good Enough Counselling Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/goodenoughcounsellors
Imposter Syndrome
https://paulineroseclance.com/impostor_phenomenon.html
Read my interview with Marianne Williamson from Rapport, Spring 2009 https://issuu.com/rapportmag/docs/rapport_spring_09/24
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Happy 100th Episode to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham (formerly Feel Better Every Day)! Am sorting all the links to ensure my biggest rebrand since 2010 and some aren’t there yet so while I’m hoping you can watch or listen wherever you get your podcasts, please let me know if you have any issues (as well as any feedback, comments or questions!).
Am so delighted to have the fantabulous Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas back with me to talk about how his self-care, Self care and collective care have evolved (since episode 24!) and his new book, ADHD Body and Mind: A Compassionate Guide to Rewilding Your Nervous System with Neuroscience, Nutrition, and Gut-Brain Health.
Described as “a book that speaks to both your biology and your belonging. It’s a unique, neurodiversity-affirmative resource that reframes ADHD as a natural neurotype, a different way of living and making sense of the world, rather than a disorder. It expands neuroscience beyond the brain and into the whole body. Showing how gut, microbes, breath, heart, hormones and immune system are always in conversation. ADHD Body and Mind reimagines nutrition and gut-brain health through a non-diet lens, offering flexible, compassionate tools that nourish body and mind without rules, shame or restriction and extends gentle invitations, not prescriptions, to honour your ADHD as a whole body-mind experience, rather than reducing it to symptoms to be managed. In a nutshell, ADHD Body and Mind is a companion, offering space to breathe, reflect, and return to yourself, again and again. It will help you reconnect with your body’s natural rhythms, release some of the weight of shame and perfectionism, and discover a way of living with ADHD that feels not just manageable, but meaningful.”
I am so looking forward to reading it! I’ve pre-ordered my copy (it’s out on 21st April!) and you can too, wherever you buy your books.
In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed talking to him again.
le grá (with love),
Eve
LINKS
Dr Miguel Toribios-Mateas:
Listen to our previous conversation, episode 24 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast wherever you get your podcasts or at https://evemc.substack.com/p/the-feel-better-every-day-podcast-b80?utm_source=publication-search
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmiguelmateas
Website:
https://drmiguelmateas.com/
My new site
https://solestosoul.ie
CHAPTERS
(Maybe slightly off as re-recorded intro to go with the rebrand from Feel Better Every Day to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD)
0:00 - Being present and meeting others with kindness
0:47 - Celebrating episode 100
0:54 - Introducing Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas
2:09 - A compassionate guide to ADHD body and mind
6:14 - Listening to your needs without forcing others
12:11 - Mindfulness, love and connection through animals
20:50 - Community, belonging and protecting your energy
27:24 - Learning self-acceptance over time
31:04 - Where to connect and final reflections
32:02 - Podcast closing and listener invitation
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Present means that if there is somebody else in the room and they have other needs, you appreciate that their needs are different, and how can you be kind towards them so when you expect them to understand that you need to stand up and fix the curtain, whatever that might be for you. The situation of the curtain is going to be different to different people, and how can you do it in a way that you’re kind to them so when you expect them to be kind to you and not tell you god you’re such a weirdo and feel oh I feel attacked because I’ve just been told that I’m like I’m a weirdo, but you know do things in a way that you find the middle ground and present.
Previously the Feel Better Every Day Podcast, this is now Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham. Learn to love and care for all your parts (including your trauma and AuDHD) from the soles of your feet to your soul.
Welcome to episode 100 of the formerly Feel Better Every Day now Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD Podcast. I’m delighted to welcome back one of my early guests from episode 24, Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas.
I still remember how nervous I was sending him that initial message asking if he’d like to be a guest when I was beginning. And he was the first person I heard the term AuDHD from, and he’s been such an inspiration and kind guide on this journey for me personally, just an absolute delight, so I’m so happy to have him back where he’ll be talking about how his own self-care has evolved but most excitingly his new book.
I hope you love the episode as much as I adore this person who has done so much to help me and others accept and work with our differently wired brains. Let me know what you’re going to do differently as a result of listening.
So thank you so much for coming back Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas.
Thank you for having me.
You’re so welcome.I wanted you here to help me celebrate my 100th episode.
Oh wonderful, that’s great, I’m honoured.
And I also want to celebrate you and your work and your new upcoming book, so can you say a little bit about that?
Yeah, absolutely. I’ve got a book coming out, it’s called ADHD Body and Mind and it’s a guide, it’s actually the title goes on, it’s a compassionate guide to rewiring your nervous system with neuroscience, nutrition and gut brain health, and that’s what it says on the tin basically.
It’s a guide, it’s not a prescription, it’s not a protocol for fixing your ADHD, it’s about celebrating the fact that a lot of people will resonate more with certain aspects of it, some people may resonate with other aspects of it, some people might feel that they struggle more and I talk about the struggles, some people might think that it’s actually a source of creativity and I talk about that, so it’s quite balanced in that sense, but also it goes in four parts.
The first part is that kind of introduction to what is ADHD, how do you experience it, you know whichever way you experience it you can just make it your own, and then I move on to the brain and the nervous system, so what happens in the brain and the nervous system when you have ADHD and try to explain things up because I find that when I understand why something is happening it sheds light on it, so it’s not kind of like a mystical thing anymore, so you can understand better why we may be better at reading instructions as opposed to maybe hearing them, so we may be in a way saying yes I’m getting this and then it’s coming in an ear and going out of the other one, and when you try and remember something like you know three minutes later it’s gone because your working memory is not having a good day that particular day.
I talk a lot about all of those processes in plain English so people can understand them, nervous system, the gut-brain access and the gut-brain connection, nutrition and also spirituality and self-care, and that’s kind of like it builds up towards that because I find that with the best of intentions if you just focus on the biology of things, on the molecules and the, you know, eat this food because it will help you with focus or restrict that food because it will help you with RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) or whatever it is, you’re kind of like missing the fact that we are multi-layered beings and we have a layer that needs connection and rituals and kindness and spirituality, whatever that means for you, whether it’s religion, whether it’s just connecting with your Self or with nature or whatever that means for you.
There’s a wide range of spiritual practices and I think that’s really really important, and it’s not something that people talk about so much about AuDHD and spirituality, but I think it’s a really important part of it and it’s full of exercises that bring you back to the body. The whole thing that kind of like elevates the pitch in a way is that I feel that a lot of people with ADHD are, we are in our heads a lot of the time and not so much in our bodies, so I try to bring you back to the body with loads of kind of somatic kind of exercises throughout the book so you can return to your body, so you can feel more at ease in your body and that is going to have a knock-on effect on how you feel in your mind as well.
Yeah, wonderful, so I’m really looking forward to how your ideal and actual self-care in the various parts of the Feel. Love. Heal. framework have evolved, so the Feel bit, the regulatory, the things we can do to help ourselves, and you were saying before we started recording about the curtain, I don’t know if you want to say anything about that, but what are like your essential daily and regular practices and what would be your ideal?
Yeah, I think it’s from when we talked last time, I mean we talked about movement and that’s still important for me and particularly walking because I find walking really relaxing, so I know it’s exercise but it’s also really good for my mental health and I start the day with a long walk anyway with my dog and that sets me up for the day.
But also we were talking about these curtains, I’m in the room, I mean I’ve got these like heavy curtains at one end of the room and one of them had kind of come off the pole and I was looking at it the other day and it was completely doing my head in, it was literally just breaking my brain thinking...
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This week’s episode follows on from Episode 98 and the seemingly endless trauma triggers from the news. It feels like it’s been getting more triggering for years and years but amping up even more recently. I keep telling myself it’s all coming up for healing and sunlight is the best disinfectant. That, ultimately, we are in the process of remembering we’re all connected, we all deserve safety, connection, love and the potential to thrive and we’re creating a new, more peaceful, free and equitable – for ALL – world.
And we can do nothing to help ourselves or anyone else if we’re quietly rocking back and forth, in floods of tears, feeling helpless and hopeless. By coming together, supporting and speaking up for each other, we can find joy and hope (while doing the work we all need to do in the giant group project called life) in more sustainable ways.
This simple, quick and easy (the more you practice, the quicker it gets) not only helps to clear our own energy fields and connect with our own miraculous Self but it helps us clear the space in meetings, communities and the world at large so we’re ultimately defying the dystopia some people are perfectly happy for us to feel is inevitable. It is not. We get to remember the power we all have as individuals and to amplify it by working together, energetically and in practical ways, too.
Let me know a) how you get on with the meditation and b) what kind of world you’d LIKE to help contribute to building – comment or email [email protected]
le grá (with love),
Eve
This week’s episode follows on from Episode 98 and the seemingly endless trauma triggers from the news. It feels like it’s been getting more triggering for years and years but amping up even more recently. I keep telling myself it’s all coming up for healing and sunlight is the best disinfectant. That, ultimately, we are in the process of remembering we’re all connected, we all deserve safety, connection, love and the potential to thrive and we’re creating a new, more peaceful, free and equitable – for ALL – world.
And we can do nothing to help ourselves or anyone else if we’re quietly rocking back and forth, in floods of tears, feeling helpless and hopeless. By coming together, supporting and speaking up for each other, we can find joy and hope (while doing the work we all need to do in the giant group project called life) in more sustainable ways.
This simple, quick and easy (the more you practice, the quicker it gets) not only helps to clear our own energy fields and connect with our own miraculous Self but it helps us clear the space in meetings, communities and the world at large so we’re ultimately defying the dystopia some people are perfectly happy for us to feel is inevitable. It is not. We get to remember the power we all have as individuals and to amplify it by working together, energetically and in practical ways, too.
Let me know a) how you get on with the meditation and b) what kind of world you’d LIKE to help contribute to building – comment or email [email protected]
le grá (with love),
Eve
CHAPTERS
0:00 Power, self-connection and the benefits of this energy clearing meditation
0:51 Podcast intro, resources and weekly nervous system support
2:52 Defying dystopia through self-care, boundaries and compassion
3:53 Introducing the magnet clearing meditation
5:03 Why this meditation is quick, adaptable and beginner-friendly
6:09 Grounding the body and preparing the nervous system
6:36 Clearing above and below to release inauthentic energy
7:48 Clearing front and back for fears, pain and past experiences
9:08 Clearing left and right for giving, receiving and contribution
11:25 Filling the energy field with golden healing light
13:30 Clearing the path ahead and staying in your miraculous Self
14:59 Using the practice in daily life and difficult moments
17:02 Closing reflections, ripple effects and staying connected
FULL TRANSCRIPT
But as with all of my work, I’m wanting you to remember that we have more power than we think we do. Wherever we are in the world, whatever’s going on around us, the more we connect with and look after our own self, that highest, wisest, truest, wildest, most joyful, brilliant and miraculous part of yourself, the more we connect with our own energies and work with them, befriending our trauma, histories and ADHD brains, helping ourselves heal with compassion for ourselves and others. Yes, absolutely setting boundaries. And this is where this meditation comes in.
Hi, I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham and you’re listening to the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. You can find out more and access older episodes at thefeelbettereverydaypodcast.com and you can also access loads of free resources and find out more about the book, 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing, the column I write for Platinum every month, other titles I contribute to, my work, loads of free resources I’ve created over the years.
I really hope you enjoy this episode and if you haven’t already signed up for my free newsletter, it goes out on a Monday, Míle Buíochas Mondays. Míle buíochas means a thousand thank yous in Irish, which I’m very slowly learning and it’s polyvagal-informed journal prompts to help you each week. There’s the gratitude practice element, figuring out more of what brings you joy on a daily basis, what helps you feel in that ventral vagal, what I call Purr! when I use the rescue cats with the Polyvagal Purrs approach and I also share some of my own gratitude, some of the things that have helped me feel more in ventral vagal that week.
Some of those will be resources that might benefit you and I also share news about upcoming events, special offers, things like that. The journal prompts also include encouragement to look at what is creating sympathetic survival responses (Hiss! with the Polyvagal Purrs approach) and potentially the dorsal vagal (Freeze!)
It’s really helping you learn to map your own nervous system, get to know yourself and get to support yourself and it’s all free. If you haven’t already you can sign up at selfcarecoaching.net and if you have any questions again let me know, [email protected]. I hope you enjoy this episode.
Welcome to episode 99 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. In today’s episode I am wanting to help you and me and everyone defy dystopia.
A big ambition. But as with all of my work I’m wanting you to remember that we have more power than we think we do. Wherever we are in the world, whatever’s going on around us, the more we connect with and look after our own self, that highest, wisest, truest, wildest, most joyful, brilliant and miraculous part of yourself. The more we connect with our own energies and work with them befriending our trauma, histories and AuDHD brains, helping ourselves heal with compassion for ourselves and others. Yes, absolutely setting boundaries and this is where this meditation comes in. It’s one of my favourites.
I work a lot with the nervous system and also with energy so the nervous system is incredible. It’s a wonderful tool. You’ll have access to older episodes where I go into that a lot and future episodes as well but today it’s an energy clearing meditation which I learned a long time ago in London.
It’s a magnet clearing energy so if you imagine a magnet and how easily it draws iron filings to it, there’s no hassle, there’s no stress. It’s just what’s meant to do. All of the energy in our energy fields is neutral when it comes to the planet. We can release energies that aren’t authentically yours, that get in the way of your miraculous Self and send them deep into the centre of the earth where they can be reused, transmuted, recycled for the benefit of the planet so they’re no longer clogging up your energy field.
The reason this is one of my favourite all-time meditations, I’ve been teaching meditation since 2001, 2002, different types. I did all sorts of complex ones through the crystal therapy training, through the yoga therapy. I adore many, many. I have daily practices myself. I do daily Metta, mindfulness, all sorts but this is something that is so simple and so quick and you can expand on it or you can do it very quickly. You keep your eyes open. You can close them if you want to but part of my training involved practising it walking through London, central London, Holborn.
I learnt it from Art Giser, the creator of Energetic NLP and it’s just really lovely and really quick and really easy. So if you are in a position to do it now, if you’re driving, do not close your eyes. Do not even do this although as you practice you’ll be able to do it when driving. If you’re in traffic, absolutely. If you’re stressed in any way, it’s one of those immediate ways in which we just release inauthentic energies and allow our miraculous selves to flourish.
So start by making yourself comfortable. So feet firmly on the ground. If they don’t reach, you may want to put a few cushions below you.
Connecting with all the parts of the body that are sitting, that are connected with the chair, just feeling that support, that earth’s nourishing supportive energy below you. Lengthening through the spine to a degree that feels comfortable for you and imagining a magnet above your head, a few metres above your head, gently, effortlessly, easily releasing inauthentic energies from above. Any headaches, anything you’re struggling to understand, make sense of, any blocks to you reaching your dreams, your potential, your connection with...
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