Afleveringen
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Every pregnancy announcement can feel like a quiet accusation.
Why can she get pregnant and I can’t.
This question is not about comparison. It is about cellular health and the basic fertility line most women have never been taught. Pregnancy is not proof of health. It is proof that the body had just enough energy to cross a line. When your mitochondrial function gut health and nervous system are depleted you might still conceive but the system is borrowing from reserves.
Fertility burnout IVF trauma subconscious blocks and emotional healing are rarely spoken about in the same breath as egg quality and hormone health. Yet your fertility does not live in isolation. It begins in the brain moves through the endocrine system and depends on the safety of your body.
The frequency behind your effort matters. “It’s not the doing. It’s the energy behind the doing.” If you feel like you are doing everything right and it still is not working this is not about more effort. It is about awareness. About the patterns running beneath your mindset.
About whether your body feels safe enough to create. Cellular health can be supported. Subconscious healing can shift your internal environment. And frequency is not something you fake. It is something you live. You are not broken. Your body is communicating. And sometimes the red zone is not punishment. It is an invitation.
Egg Quality:: The Fertility Cliff: Why “It’s Your Age” Is the Most Convenient Scapegoat in Modern Medicine:: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/fertility-cliff-why-it-s-your-age-is-the-most-convenient-scapegoat-in-modern-medicine
Full Transcription on the blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/why-she-gets-pregnant-you-can-t-ivf-infertility-the-hidden-reason-ivf-functional-medicine-are-not-enough-anymore
Fertile Energetics Journal: Six Core Steps to Emotional Alignment, Cellular Support & Conscious Conception on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4trMszr
Chapters:
02:26: Cellular health and the basic fertility line
04:21: Egg quality IVF and mitochondrial function
07:42: Pregnancy risks when reserves are low
11:27: Epigenetics stress and baby development
16:06: Partner energy resentment and subconscious blocks
23:54: Fertility burnout and pattern interruption
27:40: Frequency safety and emotional healing
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“My life would still be beautiful even if I never had children.”
Topics Discussed• The emotional death grip many women hold during infertility• Why fear of not having children creates nervous system tension• My personal fertility journey including failed IVF and miscarriage• The moment that shifted my relationship with motherhood• Why letting go does not mean giving up on having a child• The role of fear, identity, and control in the fertility journey• How emotional attachment can impact the body and nervous system• A powerful meditation to release fear around fertility outcomes
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be.
Today’s episode is a vulnerable one because we are talking about one of the hardest truths many women on the fertility journey cannot even say out loud. What if life could still be beautiful even if you never had children?
For many women struggling with infertility, the journey slowly becomes a death grip. Every decision feels like it determines your future, every month carries the weight of hope and disappointment, and life begins to revolve around one single outcome. I know this deeply because I lived it myself during my own years of infertility, failed IVF cycles, and miscarriage.
In this episode I share the quiet moment that shifted everything for me. A realization that my life would still have meaning even if motherhood never happened. Not because I stopped wanting a family, but because loosening that grip allowed my body and mind to finally breathe again. We also walk through a powerful meditation inspired by a Psych-K balance that explores both the best case and worst case life scenarios without children. Facing those fears can release the emotional tension that keeps so many women stuck in overdoing, overthinking, and constant urgency on their fertility journey.
“When your entire life revolves around fertility, you quietly enter what I call infertility hell.”
02:51 The death grip many women hold during infertility04:17 How control patterns followed me into motherhood and business05:13 The quiet moment that shifted my fertility journey06:51 Why many women cannot say life would be okay without children08:05 Releasing fear and loosening attachment to outcomes10:02 The truth about physical healing and cellular health11:30 Introducing the meditation inspired by birth and death balances13:25 Preparing yourself emotionally before the meditation17:04 Activating the thymus center19:18 Activating the hara point21:49 Connecting the thymus center and the hara point24:39 Remembering when the desire for a child first began27:54 Observing your fertility journey to the present moment31:17 Imagining the best possible life without children35:05 Facing the deepest fears about not having children39:24 Returning to the present moment43:49 Processing emotions after the meditation45:45 Integration and emotional release after the exercise
Full Transcript on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/hardest-truth-i-faced-during-infertility-not-having-children-how-i-let-go-to-get-pregnant-naturally
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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What This Episode Moves Through
• the moment when control starts to loosen its grip without force• how overdoing slowly fades when you stop feeding it attention• the difference between doing the work & becoming the work• why nothing needing to be fixed can feel uncomfortable at first• the quiet shift from urgency into steadiness• what it feels like to live without bracing for what’s next
There was a point where pushing just… stopped working.
Not in a dramatic way. Not in a breakdown. Just a quiet realization that doing more wasn’t creating more. That the effort, the planning, the constant adjusting… wasn’t landing the way it used to.
And for a moment, that felt like something was wrong.
This episode sits inside that space.
Not the part where everything clicks into place, but the part where the noise settles & you’re left standing in something unfamiliar. Something quieter. Something that doesn’t need to prove itself.
It’s less about what to do next& more about what happens when there is no next step waiting.
Timestamps
01:03 When there is no next step02:03 Watching control soften over time03:01 Creating from a different place03:57 Expanding beyond just getting pregnant04:24 Observing patterns without turning them into problems05:23 The urge to rush & how it shows up05:53 A different way of standing in your life06:22 When pressure starts to dissolve06:51 Letting uncertainty be enough07:20 There is no finish line
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/what-happens-after-you-stop-trying-so-hard-to-conceive-during-ivf-infertility
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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There was a point where doing more just stopped working.
Not in a dramatic way.Not in a breakdown or a big realization.Just a quiet noticing that all the effort, all the tracking, all the trying… wasn’t creating what it was supposed to.
And underneath that, something softer started to come through.Not louder. Not clearer. Just… different.
This episode sits in that space.
Not where something new is introduced.But where you start to see what has already shifted.
Where control doesn’t grip the same way.Where urgency doesn’t run the show.Where you don’t need to force yourself back into alignment… because you can feel when you’ve left it.
It’s not perfect.But it’s enough to notice.
And that changes things.
This conversation moves through:
• The subtle shift from doing the work to living it• How control softens without effort when awareness stabilizes• The difference between discipline & embodiment• What it actually feels like to trust yourself again• Why there is no finish line, only a rhythm you return to• Letting go of the idea that something external will fix this
There’s a different kind of honesty here.
The kind that doesn’t ask you to try harder.The kind that doesn’t add more to your list.
Just a quiet return to what’s already there.
And maybe noticing…how much less effort it takes now to stay with yourself.
Timestamps
00:57 Nothing new to add, only noticing what has changed01:27 Control softening & awareness becoming steady01:56 Coherence, surrender & embodied alignment02:26 Moving differently without forcing it02:54 There is no finish line, only a way of living03:21 Consistency over the idea of a “magic fix”03:51 Following intuition & releasing overdoing04:21 Slipping back & finding your way again04:49 Making this a daily way of being05:18 Shifting from “have to” into “get to”05:46 Supporting your body without pressure06:13 Returning to who you are & trusting that06:43 Closing reflection & integration
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Why%20Letting%20Go%20of%20Control%20Feels%20So%20Uncomfortable%20but%20Necessary%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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There was a point where slowing down didn’t feel like trust.It felt like I was falling behind.
Like I was missing something.Like if I just paused for a second too long, everything would slip.
But nothing slipped.What actually started happening was… space.
Not loud. Not obvious.Just enough space to notice I wasn’t reacting the same way anymore.
This episode sits right inside that space.
Not the kind you force.Not the kind you try to create because someone told you to surrender.
The kind that shows up when you stop pushing against yourself long enough to see what’s already there.
And what’s already there isn’t always big.It doesn’t arrive with certainty or clarity or answers.
It shows up in the smallest moments.Moments that are easy to miss if you’re still looking for something louder.
This conversation moves through that.
Not how to trust.But how to recognize when it’s already happening.
What this episode moves through:
• The subtle ways trust shows up before you’re ready to call it that• Waiting without anxiety & why that changes everything• The shift from urgency into internal timing• Choosing without fear even when nothing external has changed• Letting experience build trust instead of trying to think your way there
There’s nothing to do with this one.
Just noticing.
Where you didn’t rush.Where you didn’t override.Where you stayed with yourself a little longer than you used to.
That’s where it starts growing.
Not through effort.Through repetition of being inside your own timing.
And maybe the quiet part is the part that matters most.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome to Finding Fertility00:37 Radical responsibility & creating space01:07 What begins to shift after weeks of slowing down01:36 How trust actually starts to show up02:05 The subtle signs you’re no longer reacting the same way02:35 Noticing one moment of staying instead of rushing03:04 Trust grows through experience not effort03:33 Moving toward integration in week 2004:02 Closing thoughts & reflection
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Subtle%20Shift%20From%20Anxiety%20to%20Trust%20in%20IVF%20&%20Fertility
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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What this episode moves through
• The subtle ways control still shows up even when you think you’ve “done the work”• Why the mundane parts of your day hold more power than the big healing moments• The nervous system patterns built in repetition, not intensity• What it actually feels like to stop filling every quiet space• The difference between thinking about change & living inside it• How presence becomes something your body knows, not something you try to do
There was a point where I stopped looking for the big moment to change everything.
Not because I found it… but because I couldn’t keep chasing it.
I remember thinking something must be missing. Another protocol. Another shift. Another layer I hadn’t uncovered yet. And yet nothing was actually changing in the way I thought it would. Not in the timeline I had quietly decided it should.
And what I didn’t see at the time was how much of my life I was moving through without ever really being in it.
This conversation starts to land there. Not in the dramatic parts of the journey. Not in the big decisions or the big healing moments. But in the places that feel almost too ordinary to matter.
The parts of your day you usually rush through or fill up or try to get past.
And how those exact moments are where something deeper either stays the same… or finally begins to shift.
Timestamps
01:05 The reality of staying in the work over time02:01 Bringing awareness into the mundane03:17 Why big healing moments are not where change sticks04:18 Presence inside ordinary life05:17 Noticing the absence of urgency06:12 How patterns are built in small moments07:11 Parenting, awareness & self-compassion07:40 Rewiring happens faster than you think08:09 Returning to yourself in simple ways08:35 What begins to shift without external change
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Hidden%20Pattern%20Keeping%20You%20Stuck%20in%20IVF%20&%20Fertility%20Burnout
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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“Awareness is not the same as self-monitoring.”
Topics DiscussedHow awareness quietly turns into pressure and self-monitoring
The deeply ingrained pattern of being hypercritical with yourself
Why many emotional patterns are learned, not who you actually are
The difference between observing and trying to fix yourself
The concept of “the observer observing the observer”
How judgment, shame, and blame activate the nervous system
Why clean awareness creates regulation and softness in the body
Letting go of the need to improve every moment you notice
The internal stories that keep you stuck in “this is just who I am”
Moving into a more neutral, graceful relationship with yourself
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
And this week… we go a layer deeper.
Because a lot of you have done the work. You’ve slowed down. You’ve started noticing your patterns. You’re becoming aware. And instead of that bringing relief… it’s quietly turned into another thing you’re trying to get right.
Watching yourself. Correcting yourself. Wondering if you’re doing it “well enough.”
And I get it. I’ve lived that.
But this is where things can get a little sneaky. Because awareness can very quickly turn into self-monitoring. And self-monitoring almost always turns into judgment.
So instead of softening… your body tightens even more.
This episode is where we shift that.
Not by doing more. Not by fixing anything. But by learning how to observe yourself without adding another layer of pressure on top of everything you’re already carrying.
Because the truth is… you’re not stuck because you’re doing it wrong.
You’re stuck because you’re still judging yourself while you’re trying to change.
And once you see that… something opens.
“Judgment tightens the body. Awareness softens it.”
Timestamps00:00Welcome and grounding into your fertility journey
01:35How awareness turns into self-monitoring and pressure
02:29The root of self-judgment and learned patterns
03:18The observer observing the observer explained
04:47Why judgment tightens the body and awareness softens it
06:12You are the only one judging yourself
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-17%20Fertility%20Burnout%20&%20the%20Trap%20of%20Self-Monitoring%20Your%20Healing%20During%20IVF%20&%20Infertility
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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“You are not responsible for everything that happens… but you are responsible for how you meet it.”
Topics DiscussedThe quiet ways control hides inside being responsible, organized, and “on top of it”
How overdoing becomes identity without you even realizing it
The internal pressure of time and the feeling of constantly being behind
The nervous system’s attachment to urgency and why slowing down feels unsafe
The difference between reacting from default patterns and responding from awareness
Why radical responsibility is not blame, shame, or self-judgment
The moment you start noticing yourself in real time and everything shifts
How small shifts in awareness begin to change your default frequency
The gap between noticing your patterns and criticizing yourself for them
Letting yourself be human while still choosing something different next time
“The hardest part of this journey is remembering to break the pattern.”
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
And this week… we go there.
Not the surface-level stuff. Not the “just stay positive” nonsense.We’re talking about the patterns that have been quietly running your life for years. The ones that look like responsibility. Like being on top of things. Like doing everything right.
But underneath… it’s control. It’s pressure. It’s that constant hum of feeling behind.
And I know this one can feel a bit confronting. Because when we start talking about radical responsibility, it can tip straight into blame if you’re not careful. That old energy of “this must be my fault.”
It’s not that.
It’s the moment you realize… you might not control what’s happening, but you are shaping how you meet it. And that changes everything.
Because this isn’t about doing your fertility journey better.It’s about getting honest with how you’re showing up inside of it.
And once you see it… you can’t unsee it.
Timestamps00:00Welcome and grounding into the deeper fertility journey
02:06The hidden layers of control most women don’t see
03:34How time pressure creates urgency and tightness in the body
04:30What radical responsibility actually means
05:55Forgetting, looping patterns, and removing self-judgment
06:51Why shifting patterns feels unsafe in your body
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-16%20IVF,%20Control%20&%20Time%20Pressure:%20Why%20You%20Still%20Feel%20Behind%20During%20Infertility
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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Topics Discussed
• Fertility burnout and the internal countdown• IVF trauma and rushed decision making• Subconscious blocks connected to age and timing• Nervous system responses to waiting• Emotional healing through integration not fixing• Mindset and frequency shifts through steady awareness
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This week is not about doing more. It is about letting what you have already seen settle into your body.
Over the last few weeks you have noticed how time pressure became personal. How fertility burnout was not just exhaustion but a constant internal countdown. How IVF trauma and waiting can quietly rush decisions and tighten your pace. Maybe something softened. Not perfectly. Not permanently. But enough to feel a little more space in your chest.
Time is one of the loudest fears in a fertility journey. Age. Expectations. The story of I should have had this by now. And when that story runs unconsciously it shapes your mindset and frequency without you even realizing it. You start living inside the countdown.
“Time pressure loses its power when it is no longer unconscious.”
This week we are integrating. Not fixing. Not evaluating your progress. Not measuring how far you have come in your emotional healing. Just noticing how your body responds to waiting. Does urgency still grip the same way. Does your nervous system soften even slightly when you remember you are not behind.
When you live outside the countdown even briefly something profound happens. Choices return that are not driven by fear. Presence returns. Trust returns. Not because your circumstances changed but because your relationship with time shifted.
“When you stop racing the clock your system remembers how to feel safe.”
This is subconscious healing in real time. The simple practice of being the ultimate observer without judgment. No labels. No performance. Just awareness repeated enough that the frequency naturally recalibrates.
Next week we move into radical responsibility. Not as effort. Not as hustle. As ownership of how you meet your life.
Timestamps
00:00 Welcome and settling into week 1501:07 Letting awareness integrate instead of doing more02:05 Time pressure age and the fear of being behind03:03 Living outside the countdown04:31 Reminding your body it is safe to slow down04:59 Transition into radical responsibility
If you have been holding your breath for years this episode will feel quiet. Almost too simple. And that is the point. Fertility burnout thrives on urgency. IVF trauma feeds on the countdown. This week we practice something radical. We let it soften. We let the body recalibrate. And we see what choices return when fear is no longer running the show.
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-15Subconscious%20Blocks%20Hidden%20in%20the%20Fear%20of%20Waiting%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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Topics Discussed
Fertility burnout as nervous system time pressure not failure
IVF trauma and how urgency imprints in the body
Subconscious blocks around waiting and safety
Emotional healing through subtle rhythm shifts
Frequency changes that happen without force
Radical responsibility without self blame
Creating new evidence through small regulated moments
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This week we are not fixing your fertility. We are not solving your timeline. We are looking at the quiet panic underneath it all. The fertility burnout that feels like exhaustion is often just fear dressed up as productivity. The internal clock that feels biological is usually emotional. And when you slow down enough to notice that time pressure is a story your nervous system has memorized, something softens.
You are not behind. You are not late. You are not running out. What if the urgency you feel is not truth but conditioning? What if IVF trauma and subconscious blocks around time have trained your body to believe waiting is dangerous? That is the frequency we are unraveling. Not with force. Not with performance. Just awareness.
“If I told you that you would have your dream family by 2028 and it was a hard guarantee, you would finally relax.”
That is the gift you are practicing giving yourself. When the body no longer feels threatened by time, coherence begins. When you pause without fear, that is emotional healing in motion. And when you notice even one moment where you did not rush, that is subconscious healing happening in real time.
“Your body knows how to regulate pace when it is not driven by fear.”
This episode is about noticing those subtle shifts. The breath that deepens. The decision that waits. The moment you choose rest over reaction. Fertility burnout loses its grip when urgency is no longer your identity. And next week we close this chapter by asking one honest question. Has your relationship with time actually changed in your bones?
Timestamps
00:00 Opening and the deeper layer beneath fertility burnout01:32 Awareness creating space around time pressure02:56 The magic wish and what happens when urgency dissolves03:55 Recognizing subtle nervous system regulation shifts04:53 Celebrating moments where waiting no longer feels dangerous05:19 Feeling the shift in your relationship with time
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-14%20Fertility%20Burnout%20Time%20Pressure%20Healing%20Urgency%20at%20the%20Nervous%20System
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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Topics Discussed
How time pressure reshapes fertility decision making
The nervous system response behind urgency and fertility burnout
IVF trauma and the fear of waiting too long
Subconscious blocks around age timelines and regret
The difference between relief based decisions and intuitive alignment
How urgency contracts fascia nervous system and frequency
Emotional healing through awareness rather than force
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This week we are not fixing anything. We are noticing something. The quiet way time pressure starts deciding for you. Not loudly. Not dramatically. Just subtly enough that urgency begins to feel responsible and stillness starts to feel reckless.
You can feel it in the body. The contraction. The narrowing. The sense that if you do not choose now you will miss your only window. Fertility burnout often does not come from doing too little. It comes from doing too much too fast because waiting feels dangerous. And sometimes what looks like decisiveness is actually relief. Relief from uncertainty. Relief from the discomfort of not knowing.
“Time pressure does not just affect timing. It affects discernment.”
There is a difference between intuition and urgency. Between a grounded next step and a subconscious block that whispers you are running out of time. If you have ever rushed into IVF from fear or rushed away from it from panic you know this energy. The body knows the difference even when the mind pretends it does not.
“Decisions made under time pressure feel different in the body.”
This episode is not about judging your past choices. It is about seeing the pace. Seeing where presence was replaced by pressure. And asking yourself one honest question. What would have happened if I had allowed more space?
Next week we soften the pace. But first you get to see it.
Timestamps
00:00 Welcome and the shift into week 1301:14 How time pressure begins narrowing your choices02:14 Relief based decisions versus clarity03:12 The fear of waiting and rushing into IVF04:11 How urgency affects the body and discernment05:10 Noticing without correcting and preparing to soften pace
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-13When%20Time%20Pressure%20Hijacks%20Your%20Fertility%20Decisions%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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“You are never doing something wrong. You are trying to stay safe inside uncertainty.”
Topics Discussed• How fertility burnout subtly becomes identity• The nervous system response to time anxiety and perceived delay• IVF trauma and over identification with diagnosis• Self surveillance tracking and measuring progress• The disappearance of self compassion under pressure• Frequency shifts that begin with awareness not force• Subconscious healing through radical observation
“When time pressure feels personal it creates self surveillance.”
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
There is a moment on this journey where time pressure stops being about the calendar and starts being about you. Your age. Your diagnosis. Your past failed IVF. Your story. And suddenly fertility burnout is not just exhaustion. It feels like identity. You are no longer navigating a season. You are carrying a label.
This episode is about that shift. The quiet slide from circumstances into self surveillance. The tracking. The measuring. The way your breath shortens when you think you are behind. The way compassion disappears and the inner voice sharpens. This is not because you are broken. It is because you are trying to stay safe inside uncertainty. And that realization alone changes everything.
We talk about subconscious blocks that form when IVF trauma or years of negative tests become personal proof. We talk about frequency and how tension narrows your body without you realizing it. And we talk about noticing. Not fixing. Not performing healing. Just seeing the moment the pressure moves from external to internal. Next week we look at how these identity stories quietly start dictating your choices. And once you see that… you cannot unsee it.
Timestamps00:00Welcome and the invitation to radical responsibility
01:07When time pressure stops being about time
02:03Over identifying with infertility and past IVF
03:02Self surveillance tracking and nervous system tension
04:30Letting the body reveal where it is holding pressure
05:55Consistency intuition and the quiet work of frequency shifts
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-12Frequency%20Shifts%20for%20Women%20Tired%20of%20Carrying%20Infertility
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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Topics Discussed
• The subconscious block of feeling behind in motherhood and life• How fertility burnout is amplified by internal time pressure• IVF trauma and the nervous system pattern of urgency• The frequency of anxiety when you live in future stories• Control patterns inherited across generations of women• Emotional healing through observation rather than force• The difference between clock deadlines and internal urgency• Shifting mindset without performing positivity
Timestamps
00:00Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
01:03Ten weeks of awareness around control patterns and overdoing.
01:58Releasing time pressure and why the real doing may be doing nothing.
03:24The hidden story of being behind and how it shapes your frequency.
05:13Noticing how your body responds when urgency shows up.
07:11Living in the future creates anxiety living in the past creates fear and neither is presence.
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/subconscious-blocks-the-frequency-of-i-m-running-out-of-time-during-infertility-week-11
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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“You do not need to earn this moment.”
Topics Discussed
• Fertility burnout that hides behind productivity and good intentions• The subconscious blocks that make rest feel unsafe• IVF trauma and the nervous system pattern of overdoing• How guilt shows up when movement slows down• Emotional healing through radical awareness not performance• Time pressure stories and the internal fear of being behind• Mindset shifts that support subconscious healing and frequency change• Why rest without guilt softens survival mode
“Rest without guilt recalibrates your whole system.”
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
Last week you noticed how quickly doing replaces feeling. How productivity becomes a shield. This week we stay with what happens when that shield lowers. And usually what shows up first is guilt. Not laziness. Not failure. Guilt. Fertility burnout is rarely about doing too little. It is about never feeling allowed to stop.
When rest appears your nervous system may panic. It might whisper that you are behind. That time is running out. That IVF trauma or past disappointments mean you must push harder. And here is the uncomfortable truth. That push is often the very thing keeping your body in survival mode. Emotional healing begins when you pause without earning it. No reward. No justification. Just presence.
We are also opening the door to time pressure. Not the clock. The internal story that it is too late. That your fertility journey is on a countdown. You already know age is not the whole story. But your subconscious may still be running a fear based script. And that script shapes your frequency more than any supplement ever could.
This is where subconscious healing gets real. Not dramatic. Not loud. Just steady. A sticky note that says you do not need to earn this moment. A breath. A softening. And the quiet realization that safety is not something you achieve through overdoing.
Next week we go deeper into those time stories and the subtle ways they shape your choices. For now just notice what happens when you stop performing. It might be uncomfortable. It might also be the relief you have been craving.
Timestamps
02:29 When overdoing softens and guilt shows up
03:58 Rest without earning it and what your body feels
05:18 Building awareness as subconscious healing
06:15 Time pressure stories and feeling behind
07:40 Trusting your body and staying committed
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/FertilityBurnoutGuiltRestNoOneTalksAboutDuringIVFInfertility
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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“Stillness removes the buffer. When you stop moving, sensation rises and that can feel uncomfortable AF.”
Topics DiscussedWhy overdoing is often about avoiding stillness, not productivity
How autopilot patterns keep the nervous system in motion
The link between safety, control, and fertility burnout
Why boredom and pauses support creativity and regulation
Observing impulses without fixing, forcing, or judging
Learning to choose stillness rather than demand it
“The body doesn’t avoid stillness without a reason. That reaction is information.”
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This episode is for the woman who knows she is tired, but cannot quite slow down. The one who has done all the things. The journals. The planning. The perfect routines. And yet something still feels loud inside.
We talk about why stillness can feel unsafe. Not because anything is wrong with you, but because stillness removes distraction. It asks you to be with yourself without a role, without momentum, without identity. And for many women on the fertility journey, that is where the anxiety lives.
This week is not about forcing rest or becoming some calm unicorn overnight. It is about noticing. The reaching. The tightening. The impulse to fill space. And realizing that those mundane moments are where the deepest awareness begins. Next week, we soften even more as rest gets re-framed without guilt or shame.
Timestamps01:31Getting out of autopilot in everyday moments
02:30Why stillness can feel unsafe
03:54What boredom teaches the nervous system
05:18The impulse to escape as information
06:47Re-framing rest without guilt
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/IVF%20Trauma,%20Stillness,%20and%20the%20Body%E2%80%99s%20Need%20to%20Pause%20During%20Infertility
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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“Urgency is a sensation before it is a decision.”
Topics DiscussedHow overdoing is driven by time pressure, not motivation
The nervous system pattern underneath fertility burnout
Why urgency feels responsible even when it is dysregulating
The illusion of being behind and how it speeds up the body
Stillness as a threat when worthiness is tied to action
Noticing sensations instead of fighting stories
Why slowing down is not indulgent on a fertility journey
“Movement feels like progress even when nothing is actually changing.”
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This episode is for the woman who cannot seem to stop doing. Reading. Researching. Optimizing. Fixing. The one who tells herself she will rest once this works. The one whose body feels like it is constantly racing an invisible clock. And somehow, slowing down feels irresponsible.
We are not talking about ambition here. We are talking about urgency. The kind that comes from the story that you are behind. That you should have started earlier. That age is the most important factor. That time is running out. And when that story takes over, the nervous system speeds up, the breath shortens, and overdoing feels like the only option.
This episode is not about stopping or fixing anything. It is about noticing what happens in your body when the rush appears. Because when urgency stops running the show, something very different becomes possible. And next week, we go even deeper into why overdoing is often an avoidance of stillness itself.
Timestamps01:25Why overdoing did not start with fertility
02:23Time pressure and the illusion of being behind
03:48Movement that feels like progress but is not
04:17Urgency as a body sensation, not a truth
05:46What your future child will actually thank you for
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Overdoing,%20Urgency%20&%20the%20Illusion%20of%20Running%20Out%20of%20Time%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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“If my worth depends on effort, then rest will always feel unsafe.”
Topics DiscussedOverdoing as identity, not behavior
Why slowing down can feel threatening instead of nourishing
The nervous system cost of being the capable one
How worth becomes tangled with productivity
Fertility burnout and emotional depletion
Noticing patterns without fixing or correcting them
Soft awareness as a form of subconscious healing
“Overdoing isn’t just a habit for many women. It’s an identity.”Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This episode goes somewhere tender. Not into doing less. Not into fixing anything. But into the moment where slowing down feels uncomfortable because of who you might be without the doing.
For so many women, overdoing is not a strategy. It is an identity. Being reliable. Being capable. Being the one who holds it all together. And when that identity carries worth, rest does not feel like relief. It feels threatening. Not because things will fall apart, but because a quiet question surfaces underneath it all. Who am I if I stop?
This is not a week for correcting yourself. It is a week for noticing. The guilt. The unease. The urge to justify your time. And what might soften if your worth no longer depended on effort. Listen in and let this one land gently. Something shifts when you see it clearly.
Timestamps01:06Why slowing down can feel threatening, not restful
02:03Overdoing as identity and where worth gets tangled
02:33The quiet fear underneath constant productivity
03:32How effort-based worth leads to depletion
04:31When doing becomes a choice instead of a compulsion
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Fertility%20Burnout%20and%20the%20Identity%20of%20Overdoing%20Everything%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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There is nothing noble about running yourself into the ground to prove you are enough.
Topics DiscussedHow overdoing disguises itself as being responsible, capable, and admired
Why slowing down can trigger anxiety, guilt, or loss of identity
Movement as a coping mechanism for nervous system regulation
The invisible link between fertility burnout, worthiness, and control
How awareness softens patterns without forcing change
What happens when you stop over-functioning for everyone else
Overdoing is not strength. It is often just a nervous system trying to feel safe.
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This episode is a pause. Not the kind you schedule. The kind that sneaks up on you when you realize how much effort you are pouring into things that are not actually required. The kind that makes you notice how uncomfortable stillness feels when your identity has been built on being the one who does it all.
We talk about overdoing. Not the dramatic kind. The praised kind. The kind that earns compliments while quietly exhausting your nervous system. The kind that looks like leadership, motherhood, fertility dedication, or being the responsible one. And how often that constant motion is not ambition at all, but survival.
If you have ever wondered why slowing down feels harder than pushing through, or why letting something be imperfect makes your chest tighten, this episode is for you. No fixing. No forcing. Just awareness. And what starts to shift when you finally let yourself see the pattern.
Timestamps01:42How overdoing hides behind being capable
03:35Movement as nervous system regulation
04:27Noticing patterns without judgment
06:18Letting go of perfection and control
07:07The link between overdoing and worthiness
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Why%20Slowing%20Down%20Can%20Feel%20Unsafe%20During%20Your%20Fertility%20Journey
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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“There is nothing wrong with you for holding on so tightly. For many women, control once meant survival.”
Topics DiscussedHow control quietly disguises itself as safety
The nervous system cost of gripping, fixing, and managing
Why surrender often feels like loss, not relief
Fear patterns hiding underneath overdoing and overanalyzing
The difference between effort and force
How honesty creates more space than pushing ever could
“Surrender is not the absence of action. It is the absence of force.”
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This episode is an honest pause. A breath. A moment to look at how tightly you might be holding your life together and why. Not from judgment. Not from fixing. Just from awareness. Because control can feel responsible, productive, and necessary. Until it quietly turns into exhaustion.
I share a very real chapter of my own fertility journey where surrender was not chosen. It was forced. No job. No distractions. No fixing. Just waiting. And while it did not magically guarantee an outcome, it changed how my body experienced life. It showed me how much effort I had been carrying without realizing it.
This week is not about letting go of everything. It is about noticing where surrender feels dangerous. Where ease feels irresponsible. Where your body is bracing instead of breathing. And what might happen if you stopped fighting long enough to feel what is actually there.
Timestamps00:00Welcome and setting the tone for noticing control
01:11How control disguises itself as safety
02:42Why fear-based effort works against the body
03:35A personal story of being forced into surrender
07:14Where gripping shows up in everyday life
08:42Surrender as honesty, not collapse
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Why%20Surrender%20Feels%20So%20Threatening%20When%20You%20Want%20a%20Baby%20During%20Infertility%20IVF
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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"There is a difference between being responsible and being regulated."
Topics DiscussedControl disguised as care, responsibility, and being proactive
Why overdoing can feel safe but keep the nervous system stuck
The quiet exhaustion of managing everything and everyone
How fertility burnout shows up in the mundane moments
The illusion of success created by control
Becoming the ultimate observer without judgment
Why doing nothing for a moment can be deeply regulating
Sometimes fixing is not love. It is fear in a more socially acceptable outfit.
Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…
This episode is a brutally honest look at control. Not the obvious kind. The sneaky kind. The kind that looks like fixing, managing, improving, optimizing, and being the responsible one. The kind that gets praised. And the kind that quietly keeps your nervous system on edge while your body whispers, or screams, for relief.
I share a very real moment where my own control patterns showed up while recording this very series. The urge to do more. Add more. Fix something that was already enough. And how noticing that impulse changed everything. Because the work that actually shifts fertility, burnout, and emotional exhaustion is not flashy. It is boring. It is mundane. And it asks you to sit with discomfort instead of outrunning it.
If you have ever felt like you are doing everything right and still not seeing the shift you want, this conversation will land. Especially if slowing down feels like giving up. Next week, we are gently reframing surrender so it stops feeling terrifying and starts feeling safe.
Timestamps01:30Catching control patterns in real time
03:40When fixing feels like care but creates burnout
05:10The illusion of success created by overcontrol
07:45Why doing less can be deeply regulating
10:50Becoming the ultimate observer without judgment
Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Illusion%20of%20Control%20in%20Infertility%20IVF%20Why%20Less%20Is%20Not%20Giving%20Up
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility
TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i
🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon
Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.
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