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As part of my ACA recovery journey, I have been making daily conscious contact with my inner family members, one of which includes my inner teenager. Through this inner work and checking in with my inner teen, I have realized that my people-pleasing ways have put me in harm’s way. Since I was often not able to say no, I found myself in situations I didn’t want to be in with feelings I could not handle, so I turned to using substances as a coping mechanism to numb myself. Recovery has since allowed me to rewrite these scenarios, let go of old patterns, and heal. This week’s episode 291 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about reclaiming my inner teen’s voice- how to say no with inner strength!
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
The major breakthrough I had with my inner teenager who has been preventing me from asking for help and expressing my needs.How reparenting my inner teenager has allowed me to revisit past experiences, honor my feelings, and respond with boundaries. The support of my other inner family members has been crucial in my reparenting process, providing the love, guidance, and reassurance my teenage self needed.Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
AdultChildren.org
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
Everyone is on their unique path to healing. While there are many things we can gain from others’ journeys, every journey is ultimately different, so it is important to find the path that works for you. Jesse Harless came to terms with this realization once he was introduced to what some may view as an unconventional form of healing, cold exposure, and plant medicine. What he didn’t understand at first slowly became the thing to lower his extreme anxiety and keep him going on his path to healing. This week’s episode 290 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about connection, cold exposure, and plant medicine!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, Jesse Harless shares his profound journey from being born into addiction to his journey to recovery through focusing on the 12 steps, physical fitness, and nervous system regulation.
Some of the talking points Jesse and I go over in this episode include:
Jesse’s build up of addiction over time and the breaking point that ultimately forced him into recovery. The crucial role that connection played in Jesse’s recovery, from finding a mentor and therapist to building meaningful relationships within 12-step fellowships.How cold therapy has helped regulate his nervous system and build resilience. Jesse’s approach to researching and incorporating psychedelic-assisted therapy into his recovery plan.When it comes to your own healing journey, trust your own heart, trust your own path and see what works for you, and then study the people who have gone before as guides to see if that serves you.
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
CONNECT WITH JESSE HARLESS:
JesseHarless.com
Jesse’s podcast “Entrepreneurs in Recovery”
Instagram
YouTube
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Barb’s episode of Jesse’s podcast: “The Transformative Power of Boundaries”
A Dose of Hope by Dr. Dan Engle and Alex Young
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
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If you’re not familiar with the term acting “as if”- it's a common saying in 12-step recovery and one of the ways we learn to adopt new ways of being in the world. Acting “as if” is essentially engaging in behaviors toward the goal of achieving something positive in your life by emulating the person you want to be or the life you want to have. But often, I get people questioning how this is different from pretending, something those of us in recovery are tired of doing. That’s what I am here to talk about today! This week’s episode 289 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to go beyond pretending- build your authenticity through acting “as if”!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how acting “as if” differs greatly from pretending (it has everything to do with your intentions) and how you can use this practice to move closer to the person you want to become and live the life you want to have.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep 276: From Pretending to Purpose- The True Power of Acting "As If"
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
Last week on the podcast, I talked about how setting healthy boundaries was the key to changing the four patterns of overgiving. I want to further that conversation today by providing actionable guidance on understanding yourself better, setting boundaries that reflect your actual wants and needs, and upholding your boundaries once you decide on them. This week’s episode 288 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how boundaries restore balance and energize your life!
If you missed part 1 of this episode, you can listen to it here: Overgiving No More - Part 1: Recognizing the Four Patterns that Drain You.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
What boundaries are, including some examples of the boundaries I uphold for myself and others. Why setting boundaries is an essential step to overcome the habit of overgiving. Knowing when and where to set boundaries starts with understanding what matters to you first. Advice for how to actually set and uphold boundaries with other peopleOvergivers often overgive because we feel like we must do that to earn our place. But when you're clear on your identity, you know that you belong because of who you are, not because you've given them extra, and they're therefore allowing you to belong.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
-
Send us a text
I have always been a giver, but through recovery, I came to terms with the fact that I had been an overgiver. I felt obligated to drop everything and give to everyone at the drop of a hat, which was draining. However, through building healthy boundaries, I learned to give in a healthy way, pouring from the overflow instead of from an empty cup. This week’s episode 287 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is part 1 of Overcoming No More: Recognizing the Four Patterns That Drain You!
If you feel like you don’t know how to be in your life, be in your feelings, feel situated within yourself or how to be in relationships or organizations, it’s probably because you’re more focused on others than you are yourself. If this is you, you are a perfect candidate for Boundaries by Design: A Blueprint for Life, an 8-week structured course for women.
This group coaching program will give you the framework, coaching, and guidance to create a manual for your life. You’ll know where you end and others begin, what your responsibility is and what’s not, and what you like, want, need, and prefer.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
The difference between someone overgiving and someone just giving. Breaking down the 4 common patterns of people who overgive: Misplaced outer focus.Excessive independence.Self-imposed limitations.Ineffective communication. Examples of how each of these patterns might show up in your life. How building healthy boundaries helps you keep the focus on yourself and avoid overgiving.Stay tuned for next week as I share how boundaries restore balance and energize your life.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep 3: Victim Mentality
Ep 10: My Tools of Recovery Part III: Focus On Me
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
Many people think that building boundaries is about building walls between us and other people. While this is true in cases where you may have a dangerous or toxic person in your life that you need to build a wall between, in the majority of cases, boundaries actually bring us closer to other people. This week’s episode 286 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about building bridges, not walls- how and why boundaries bring us closer to others!
If you feel like you don’t know how to be in your life, be in your feelings, feel situated within yourself or how to be in relationships or organizations, it’s probably because you’re more focused on others than you are yourself. If this is you, you are a perfect candidate for Boundaries by Design: A Blueprint for Life, an 8-week structured course for women.
This group coaching program will give you the framework, coaching, and guidance to create a manual for your life. You’ll know where you end and others begin, what your responsibility is and what’s not, and what you like, want, need, and prefer.
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing examples of how I acted as a “chameleon” in past relationships, changing my interests and preferences to fit with my partners’ and how building healthy boundaries helps you understand yourself better and effectively communicate your likes, wants and needs.
We are built to bond with other people and the best way to bond with others is if they know who we actually are.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
Since getting into ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families), I have come to understand that I have gift trauma. This is a form of relational trauma (sometimes referred to as little t trauma) that is a result of something happening in the context of a relationship over time. For me, this came as a result of feeling emotionally invalidated through gifts in my past relationships. This week’s episode 285 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about when gifts become trauma- emotional invalidation in relationships!
If you feel like you don’t know how to be in your life, be in your feelings, feel situated within yourself, or how to be in relationships or organizations, it’s probably because you’re more focused on others than you are yourself. If this is you, you are a perfect candidate for Boundaries by Design: A Blueprint for Life, an 8-week structured course for women.
This group coaching program will give you the framework, coaching, and guidance to create a manual for your life. You’ll know where you end and others begin, what your responsibility is and what’s not, and what you like, want, need, and prefer.
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing some examples from my life where I have felt emotionally invalidated when family members or romantic partners have bought (or not bought) me gifts, how my relationship with my sweetheart is healing this trauma for me, and the importance of releasing expectations of others to find peace.
Let this be your reminder that you do not have to stay in relationships with people who continually invalidate you, whether it has to do with gifts or not.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep 131: Let Go of Your Expectations of Others and Meet Your Own Needs
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
Throughout my recovery journey, I have gotten into the habit of writing down personal revelations or impactful quotes that I come across to document my experiences and insights. Many of these made a profound impact on my perception of things, so I wanted to share some of them with you today. This week’s episode 284 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about control, fear, faith, and the power of boundaries- gems from my recovery journal!
If you feel like you don’t know how to be in your life, be in your feelings, feel situated within yourself, or how to be in relationships or organizations, it’s probably because you’re more focused on others than you are yourself. If this is you, you are a perfect candidate for Boundaries by Design: A Blueprint for Life, an 8-week structured course for women.
This group coaching program will give you the framework, coaching, and guidance to create a manual for your life. You’ll know where you end and others begin, what your responsibility is and what’s not, and what you like, want, need, and prefer.
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a series of quotes that resonated with me, as well as some of my own personal revelations that helped me along the path of my recovery journey.
Some of the themes I go over in this episode include:
The power of building healthy boundaries in all areas of your life. Continuously learning to love unconditionally despite the type of love you were shown. Reshaping your perception of your fears. Understanding the true meaning and intention behind forgiveness. The difference between confidentiality and a cover-up. Your patterns of behavior do not define you and can be changed.Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
I recently came across the phrase, “Stop extending the life of your problems.” This resonated with me because before I got into recovery, I hadn’t realized I was massively extending the life of my problems for DECADES on end by ruminating on the past and catastrophizing about the future. This, I have come to realize, is a very common trait for those of us in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families). This week’s episode 283 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how rumination and catastrophizing hijack your peace (and how to stop)!
If you feel like you don’t know how to be in your life, be in your feelings, feel situated within yourself or how to be in relationships or organizations, it’s probably because you’re more focused on others than you are yourself. If this is you, you are a perfect candidate for Boundaries by Design: A Blueprint for Life, an 8-week structured course for women.
This group coaching program will give you the framework, coaching, and guidance to create a manual for your life. You’ll know where you end and others begin, what your responsibility is and what’s not, and what you like, want, need, and prefer.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
How recovery helped me come to the realization that I was replaying moments from the past and living in the wreckage of the future.Why adult children become “addicted to excitement” and, as a result, do things to activate our nervous system. The 3-step solution for how to stop ruminating and catastrophizing and live in the present moment.Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep 42: Why Take a Daily Inventory
When Food is Love by Geneen Roth
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
It’s no secret that boundaries are the key to reclaiming your power, honoring your needs, and living life on your terms. And me showing up week after week on the podcast to lay the foundation for boundary setting is one thing, but hearing the real-life stories of those of us who are taking action and setting boundaries in our lives is inspiring on a whole new level! This week’s episode 282 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about real-life stories of saying no and standing firm!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a series of examples of ways either myself, my listeners, or my clients have put the fundamentals of boundary setting into action in their lives so you can feel inspired to do the same in your life.
Now, some of these boundaries may seem small but when you multiply them by the thousands of ways we’ve compromised ourselves in the past, setting all these little types of boundaries results in the kind of life we want to live.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Free Resources on Boundaries
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
-
Send us a text
Recognizing and overcoming codependence can be a profound and life-changing journey, but undoing the deeply engrained layers of this behavior is not easy. I found this out the hard way after hitting what I call my “codependence bottom” after inviting my homeless friend to stay with me, leading to feeling trapped in my own home, and coming to the conclusion that I was codependent. This realization was a huge life shift for me and I want to continue sharing my experiences in hopes that other people can learn from my journey and start to undo their own codependent behaviors. This week’s episode 281 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about understanding codependence, its origins, and how to overcome it!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m breaking down the concept of codependence, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take right now to build the healthy boundaries necessary to overcome codependent tendencies.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Codependence is a state of being focused on the needs and behaviors of others while neglecting one’s own wants and needs. Trauma is the root cause of codependence, as it disrupts the development of a stable sense of self. Overcoming codependence requires a long process of self-discovery, healthy boundaries, and focusing on self.I want to hear from you! What further questions do you have about codependence? Is there something I mentioned today that you would like me to expand upon? Send me a DM or an email and let’s chat.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
ACA Fellowship Text (The Big Red Book or BRB)
Join the Waitlist for the FREE Boundary Building Starter Kit
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
-
Send us a text
For those who have a loved one who is an alcoholic, you understand the uphill battle of finding the right words that will finally get through to them. But the reality is, we are just as powerless over alcohol as the alcoholic is and there is nothing we can do or say that will magically change their addiction. Laurel found this out the hard way and joins me on the podcast today as she shares her powerful journey with Al-Anon and how she learned to let go of the belief that saying the “right” things can stop the alcoholic from drinking, save her marriage, and ultimately protect her family. This week’s episode 280 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about living your truth!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, Laurel shares her powerful story of navigating life with an alcoholic spouse and how Al-Anon gave her the strength, support, and resources to set boundaries and live her truth.
Some of the talking points Laurel and I go over in this episode include:
Setting boundaries, detaching from others’ reactions, and learning to not engage in arguments that won’t make a difference are powerful tools in maintaining serenity. Continuing to attend meetings, work the steps, and have a sponsor is essential for personal growth and recovery. The layers of personal growth and self-discovery that unfold over time in recovery.How to educate children addiction safety plans without villainizing the addict.Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep 278: Breaking Free from Generational Shame and Humiliation
Ep 279: The Blame Game- Recognizing and Releasing the Need to Blame
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
-
Send us a text
Content Warning: This episode has brief mentions of the sexual abuse of a child.
One of the things covered in The Solution, a foundational document in ACA is that we will free ourselves from the shame and blame carried over from the past. Shame is just about one of the worst feelings in the world so to avoid it, we can get into the habit of displacing this feeling by blaming others, instead of taking accountability for our part in the situation. As a result, shame and blame go hand in hand. This week’s episode 279 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the blame game - recognizing and releasing the need to blame.
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a follow-up from last week’s episode on shame, ways in which I have recognized the need to blame as a result of feeling shame, and actionable steps you can take right now to identify when you’re putting the blame on others and switch to taking accountability for your part in things.
You can’t change the past, whether that’s what happened to you or what you did, but you can change your reaction patterns, thus, changing the future. That my friends is freedom.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
-
Send us a text
In ACA we say that shame is the legacy of adult children and it is passed down from generation to generation. That’s why we feel shame for things that “normal” people don’t. This week’s episode 278 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about breaking free from generational shame and humiliation!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how, despite the saying that guilt is, ‘I did something wrong’ and shame is ‘I am something wrong,’ for me, it was more frequently that I was supposed to know something that I don’t or I’m supposed to be or do something that I’m not. And that is because of the messages I received from the people around me growing up.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Examples of the messages I received from my family that led to this deeply ingrained sense of shame I felt most of my adult life. Things that have made me feel shame and humiliation over the years that other people likely wouldn’t. How setting healthy boundaries helped me know myself better and overcome the shame and humiliation I once felt.Remember, it is fine to seek the approval of others but only when you have your own approval first.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep. 17. GUILT AND SHAME
Ep. 179. Freedom from the Lie of Shame - You're Not Inherently Flawed
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
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Whether you’re in recovery or not, you may have heard the saying, “If you’re hysterical, it’s historical.” This phrase refers to the times in our lives when we may have an emotional reaction that felt completely out of proportion to the situation at hand and gives some insight into some unresolved trauma from our past. This week’s episode 277 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the meaning behind the saying, “If you’re hysterical, it’s historical."
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
When we experience a triggering situation in the present, it’s often linked to past trauma, even if we don’t consciously remember the original event. The difference between “big T” and “little t” trauma.The path to healing starts with dealing with the trauma at the root of your reaction, not the present-day trigger.If you’re noticing these emotional triggers pop up in your life, I encourage you to seek support through programs like ACA or work with a trauma-informed therapist to uncover and process past wounds. You’d be surprised how healing it can be.
Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? Are you putting yourself last? Perhaps you're the consummate accommodator whose people-pleasing ways are wearing you out. If so, you're a perfect fit for my 12-week private coaching program!
After Participating in Private Coaching with Barb, You'll...
*Be able to feel peaceful and calm when setting boundaries
*Know how to communicate directly with people
*Your feelings will become more "right-sized"
*Do things because you really want to do them, not because you feel obligated
*Live your life by your own values and feel proud of that
*Learn to keep the focus on yourself and still be kind and helpful
*Come closer to realizing your authentic identity
Sign up for a free 30 minute Better Boundaries call with me at this link. https://calendly.com/barb-nangle/better-boundaries-call
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episodes about denial:
Ep: 16 D-E-N-I-A-L (12 min)
Ep: 23 Denial 2.0 (13 min)
Ep: 182 Denial 3.0 (23 min)
Ep 191: How I Came Out of Denial - My ACA Story (26 min)
Ep 196: Denial 4.0 (24 min)
ACA World Service Organization website
ACA Fellowship Text “The Big Red Book”
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
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Get a free chap
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Many of us in ACA have had to pretend our entire lives in order to feel safe or get our needs met. We acted as though our family was one way knowing full well that was not the case behind closed doors. So let me be clear: acting “as if” is not the same as pretending. It’s a way of acting in a way that changes the long-standing patterns of behavior that keep you from moving forward. This week’s episode 276 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about moving from pretending to purpose- the true power of acting “as if”.
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding the motivations behind our actions and how they can impact our personal growth. I also share actionable steps to course-correct the behaviors holding us back and move closer to the life we want to live.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Ep. 25: Act As If
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
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I have shared bits and pieces of my reparenting journey throughout my podcast episodes but I have never publicly sat down to share it all in one setting. That is… until I appeared on an episode of the Adult Child podcast with Andrea Ashley. After hearing the little bit of my story that I shared in her community which is affectionately called The Shitshow, Andrea Ashley invited me on her podcast to share my reparenting journey with her audience. This week’s episode 275 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about my reparenting journey as expressed on the Adult Child podcast!
Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the full story of how my inner family came forward to me, one by one, and sharing personal experiences of re-casting and re-writing my past with my new, inner-loving family.
If you’re looking to identify with other adult children, the Adult Child podcast is for you. You can listen to Andrea Ashley’s podcast here!
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
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Patreon
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
If you really want to have a well-lived life, you want to focus on what you want, not so much on what you don't want. Just like the archer must focus on the target rather than the trophy, we also must focus on the task ahead rather than the result, which may not even come to pass. This week’s episode 274 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast focuses on what you want by aiming for the target, not the trophy!
Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!
Through my recovery journey, I learned the importance of focusing on what you want rather than dwelling on what you don't want. Setting clear boundaries and prioritizing my needs and values has allowed me to form the healthy, genuine relationships I desire.
My hope is that you can apply this lesson of aiming for your goals, not external rewards, to enrich your own life.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
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Patreon
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
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Send us a text
I was recently on a call with a newcomer in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) and we were walking through The ACA Solution, a foundational document in the ACA program. This document is one of the many resources we have in this 12-step program that we use to reparent ourselves, heal, and recover from our trauma. Reading this document as a whole is incredibly powerful, but when we break it down line by line, we can internalize it and relate it to our own experiences on a deeper level. This week’s episode 273 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the ACA Solution and how to overcome intergenerational family dysfunction!
Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m reading The ACA Solution, line by line, sharing my own perception and experience of what it means to me and my recovery journey.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The ACA Solution
Ep. 10. My Tools of Recovery Part III: Focus On Me
Ep. 9 My Tools of Recovery Part II: Reaching Out
DENIAL EPISODES
Ep. 16 D-E-N-I-A-L (12 min)
ep. 23 Denial 2.0 (13 min)
ep 182 Denial 3.0 (23 min)
ep 191 - How I Came Out of Denial - My ACA Story (26 min)
ep 196 Denial 4.0 (24 min)
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
Instagram
Patreon
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
-
Send us a text
In this digital world we’re living in, we’ve become so accustomed to a constant stream of notifications and content that it can feel overwhelming. But the good news is, like everything else, we can set boundaries around our digital exposure, protect our time and peace, and become more productive in the process. This week’s episode 272 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to take control by setting digital boundaries for peace and productivity!
Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!
In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing some of my personal boundaries for the digital world and how you can implement some of these boundaries to stay focused and give yourself much needed digital breaks.
Some of the digital boundaries I go over in this episode include:
Turning the ringer on my phone off during my personal time. Limiting the number of push notifications I allow. Only following accounts on social media that I care about, deleting or blocking accounts I don’t want to see.Using a digital calendar to time block and effectively manage my time.Quit using my phone in the car. Being intentional about the things I post on social media. Muting work notifications outside of working hours.Using the Pomodoro Technique to focus on one task at a time and give myself breaks. Staying off screens while eating.
Knowing what matters to you is important because when you know what matters to you, you can set boundaries that uphold and support those things.Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
263. Approaching Conflict Resolution with Confidence with Melanie [Coaching Series Part 3]
Get a free chapter of my upcoming book: Roadside Recovery
CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Free boundaries resources
Facebook
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Patreon
Work with Barb!
Buy Barb a tea
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