Afleveringen
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Do you know your Love Language? Do you have to match with people who speak your love language? What do you do when the person you’re into has a different love language than you? Andie and Duckie speak different love languages and together share their best tips for loving and communicating with partners.
Show links
The original book about the 5 Love Language
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270XUnderstanding the 5 languages (in case you don’t want to do the book)
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-5-love-languages-explainedHow to deal if you and your partner don’t speak the same language
https://www.bustle.com/articles/161169-how-to-cope-when-you-your-partner-have-different-love-languagesShare your thoughts, questions, feedback, and dating frustrations: [email protected]
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What if you catch the feels for your Friend With Benefits (FWB) and want to turn them into a "real" relationship? Also: Andie thinks there's really no such thing as a FWB.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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After a long-term relationship ends, some of us fear commitment. Divorce forever shatters the illusion of “til death do us part” so is fear of commitment simply a more realistic perspective on love and relationships or are we just wounded and suffering from commitment phobia? Is it possible to be in a committed relationship and still maintain autonomy and freedom? What even qualifies as is long-term, post-divorce? Andie and Duckie tackle their own commitment issues and explore the fact that post-divorce they’ve both gravitated towards relationship structures that are not strictly monogamous. Has this helped? Can ethically non-monogamous or monogamish relationships be considered commitments?
Show Links
WebMD’s definition of Commitment Phobia in case you think you have a real phobia!
https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/commitment-phobia-symptoms-signsAlternatives to Monogamy in case the idea of only being with one person freaks you out but you still find yourself wanting to develop beyond casually dating someone.
https://sexualbeing.org/blog/8-relationship-alternatives-to-monogamy/The quote Andie shared: “The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” – Osho (This guy was the founder of the Rajneesh Movement and was a problematic mystic with a lot of radical ideas BUT his thoughts about love are pretty cool.
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1432084-being-in-love-how-to-love-with-awareness-and-relate-without-fear -
What is Cuffing Season and why does it suck? Who do you bring to your office holiday party, especially if you're newly dating or poly? Andie and Duckie have thoughts.
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Does your sex life and fantasies fall outside the normative ideas of vanilla sex? Where do you fall on the kink spectrum? Andie and Duckie spill the tea about kink compatibility and their own experiments in kinkville — from choking, to BDSM, to cuckolding, fetishes, water sports, age play, and more. The good news is that getting kinky the bedroom can have multiple benefits for your sex life, your relationships, and even your mental health outside the bedroom. If you haven’t had the opportunity to fully explore your kinks yet, there’s not better time to incorporate kinks into your dating life.
Show Links:
1 in 5 of Your Friends Is Getting Kinky — Should You Be Too? - Healthline
A to Z Kinks and Fetishes - The Bad Girls Bible
Kink Test - a quiz that helps you map out your own kinky side
7 Best Kink Dating Apps - Dating XP
Lorals oral for women without the skin-to-skin contact
Skyn Condoms - Andie + Duckie’s fav, but feel free to send samples of other condoms to change our minds ;-)
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Do you give good text? Even if you hate texting, it’s a required skill to navigate today’s dating world because if you don’t have a good texting game, most matches will fizzle out. Andie and Duckie share their best tactics for flirting and building connections so you can get off your phone and go on actual dates! From decent opening lines to practicing your flirty to dirty sexting so you can take the conversation into salacious territory and keep the banter going between dates without seeming overeager.
Show Links:
Slutbot is free tool that lets you practice talking dirty over text with a chatbot.
Can you fall in love with someone via text? - Venngage
Understanding the dynamics of texting in relationships - Very Well Mind
Tinder’s Hot Takes - for a blind texting experience that lets you text before you match
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Some people seem to be flooded with matches while other people get zilch. Are you one of those people who’s not getting enough attention? Andie and Duckie help you tune your dating profile like a pro! Get tips to make you super swipeable so that you are a hard YES for anyone lucky enough to see you in their feed. Which photos should you use in your dating profile? What should you write about yourself (and what to leave out) so that your dating profile catches the attention you want. Also: we review the dating app Open.
Show notes and links
Photo Dos and Don'ts
Use your most attractive pics (Duh, but so many people miss this!) Primary photo has to be well-considered No group shots Don’t put hot people in your photos No silly filters (Bumble just added these, ugh!) You can only look goofy if you’re really hot Show your personality with active life shots (bathroom selfies = 💩) Include at least 1 full-body shot, flattering angle/light/clothes Smile, even a little (some people look angry and grim) Show off your best feature (thirst trap)Text Dos and Don'ts
Don’t lead with a list of don'ts (like we just did in this list! Listing your turn-offs is a turn-off). Lead with what you’re looking for instead Remember the 3 Ps - Positive, Punctuated, Personal Don’t waste space saying things like “No Scammers” Duh! No cliches (partner-in-crime 🤮) It’s okay to be a grandma but that shouldn’t be your headline! Saying “No Drama” = I AM DRAMA Don’t emphasize characteristics that aren’t sexy (hard-working) - this isn’t LinkedIn!This week’s product review : Open Dating App
Helpful links:
6 Tips For Writing The Perfect Online Dating Profile - Huffpost
Instant Dealbreakers in Men's Dating Profiles - Buzzfeed
7 Tips For Making Your Dating Profile Stand Out - AARP (cause you’re gonna need to be more eloquent when you’re working against gravity, hair loss, and all the other shit.)
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How can you know if you're making good dating decisions? When should you trust your gut and when should you ignore it? After ending a long relationship you might wonder, should I still trust my instincts or are my feelings leading me astray? Anxiety and intuition often feel similar but they’re not the same. Andie and Duckie introduce their inner voices and decide which ones are worth actually listening to.
Show note links:
Anxiety or Intuition Quiz
Confirmation Bias the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories.
Rising Strong by Brene Browne - about bouncing back after bad stuff.
“Loving What Is” by Byron Katie about investigating our thoughts and endin cycles of negative narration about the world around us.
20 Best Podcasts About Sex Positivity Thanks for including GenEx Podcast in your list Pretty Progresssive! Sexy Exes, tell us if you think we deserve to be on this list by subscribing to GenEx podcast :-D
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Dating after a long term relationship is hard enough but when your ex lives just a few blocks away in a small town, it can feel almost impossible. As sexy exs living in major cities, Andie and Duckie are dating on easy mode so we’ve invited Duckie’s friend “Allison” to spill the tea on being single in the suburbs. The rules are different when you live where everyone knows everyone — from navigating a smaller dating pool, to dealing with slut-shaming, and trying to get your groove on when your ex lives a few blocks away.
Show note links:
Match dating platform
Places to meet singles in the suburbs
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Meeting a date in real life can be nerve-racking. Especially after being cooped up during a pandemic. Who pays on the first date? Are there rules for a first date anymore? Should you kiss or even fuck on the first date? How can you show up as your best self right from the start? Andie and Duckie dish about first date disasters and share their best tip for fucking awesome first dates: where to go, what to talk about, how to put your date at ease, and how to enjoy yourself!
Show note links:
Lorals - Oral without the skin-to-skin contact
Viagra - Talk to your doctor AND your date before taking
Trauma Bonding - LOL! What NOT to do!
36 Deep Questions - (Ask one or two but don’t interrogate your date!)
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There are just some people you don’t want to fuck (with). In a world of seemingly endless choices, it’s good to have an idea of your own personal dealbreakers. Duckie even has a list! This episode focuses on spotting deal breakers early (before you swipe or during the first date) so you don’t go dick blind, or catch feelings for someone who really isn’t a good match for you.
Show note links:
We’re Not Really Strangers game
Spotify Playlists - to make a mixtape for your crush
“I Can’t Wait” by Nu Shooz (Andie’s fav throwback track to hear while getting ready for a date)
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With vaccines rolling out, vacations and swapping spit with hotties are back! A sexcation is defined as a vacation devoted entirely to sex. In this episode Duckie dishes about his much-anticipated sexcation, Andie finds joy in a sexless trip and processes a relationship downshift. We also give tips about how to have a great sexcation with your partner or with someone you just met. And we share our fav condom and answer a listener's question about dating right after a divorce.
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Dating apps are a double-edged sword. Apps give us nearly endless choices of potential new dates, but they also make us more picky and restless thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Compulsively swiping for something better means you might forget to water the grass you’re on. Andie and Duckie explore the ethics of juggling a ton of possible partners, tips for avoiding being overwhelmed and burnout, and managing the anxiety of wondering if someone better might be one swipe away? Plus, we review Tinder and give tips for making the ultimate thirst trap.
Links to stuff we mentioned:
The Paradox of Choice book Aziz Anzari’s book Modern Romance Indian Matchmaking Netflix Show Lip Dub: Flagpole Sitta -
Duckie and Andie talk about the pluses and minuses of sex as middle-aged Gen Xers. Do you have a “Last Fuckable Day”? What age range should you date? Should you try to make yourself look younger? And why do men look so bad now? We also review the dating app Clover and give some unsolicited advice about how to spot fakes, scammers, and bots on dating apps.
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Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) is having a moment. Thanks to the prevalence of dating apps and pandemic doom-scrolling it may feel like everyone is dating a dozen people at once. Is monogamy over? If you’re not polyamorous, everyone suddenly being into ENM can be uncomfortable and vexing but perhaps “Playing The Field” isn’t such a new concept? Andie (who is polyamorous) and Duckie (who is monogamish) offer guidelines on when and how to have a conversation about your dating situation with potential romantic partners. This week’s product review also includes unconventional advice about what you should have in your bedside drawer if you like sleeping with women.
Books mentioned in this episode:
Fleishman is in Trouble Paradox of Choice Ethical Slut Sex at Dawn Sapiens -
Do you have to be alone to heal? Some say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Others warn that if you’re always distracting yourself with a new relationship, you never really grow or heal from the last relationship. What if you’re polyamorous and grieving one relationship while enjoying another? Andie and Duckie explore the latest rules for getting over a significant relationship, review the Feeld dating app, and talk about what kind of person you should date after a significant relationship ends.
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In the 80s and 90s, threesomes were whispered about as the stuff of fantasy and legend. Now it seems as if everyone has threesomes. It’s hard enough to get one person, now you gotta get two? If you’re new to threesomes, it can seem impossible to pull off. How do you ask for a threesome or find the right partners if you’re single? Andie and Duckie dive into how to navigate the tantalizing threesome waters and answer all your burning Qs: what if my partner is more attracted to the other person? What if I can’t perform? How can I be sure everyone will feel included? We also review OKCupid and talk about how to take dic pics.
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Dating during a pandemic is daunting! The world is slowly getting vaccinated, but we’re still a long way from “normal dating” so in this Very Special Episode we unpack all the challenges and new safety protocols for COVID-safe booty calls and navigating the relationship pressure cooker of an ongoing geopolitical shit-show. We also review the Plenty of Fish dating app and offer an unusual idea for outdoor dating.
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Sex with a new person can be exhilarating but also bring up a ton of anxiety—especially after divorce or a long-term relationship. Navigating all of the weirdness that comes from performance anxiety, body issues, and the pressure to “stick the landing” ie. achieve orgasm for all parties. We also review the dating app HER (for femmes only!) and offer advice about grooming and priming your body for sexy fun.
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Two divorced Gen X pals decide to unpack their love lives with a podcast about dating and relationships. In our origin episode, we share why we’ve started this podcast and dish about how much dating has changed since our earlier single years back in the 80s and 90s. We also review the dating app Bumble in the wake of the company’s IPO, and offer advice about great opening lines when saying hello to a new match on a dating app.
