Afleveringen
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Could the culture wars finally be drawing to a close? If they are what will Giles talk about in future; certainly not ancient antiquities, his knowledge is lacking in that sphere. How to spice up oneās autobiography, some celeb gossip here, a royal orgy thereā¦letās ask Rebel Wilson she is bound to have a few more ideas.
Age is but a number, which may just be seventeen thousand. Thatās what John Cleese is paying for stem cell therapy. But why worry, what of the crows of the air, they do not sow or reapā¦perhaps because they are to preoccupied with the āTokyo crow controllerāā¦
Lastly, what makes a good friendshipā¦Giles doesnāt care heās too busy picking up crisp packets.
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Warning flag: this episode contains sensitive content.
Fresh from the Easter recess Giles and Esther have a cunning plan to lure in new listeners, theyāre flying the flag for air fryers. Keen to be welcoming of all cooking methods they undertake some thorough research which includes never using, trying or knowing anything about air fryers, before coming to a categoric conclusion on the latest kitchen gadgetā¦
They take a look at the most expensive streets to live in the UK - none of which have flags in the front garden - and compare them to their own ends.
Saving the best till last Giles and Esther try to identify the twenty-one sexuality and gender flags on display at a hospital reception in the midlands. Giles canāt find his flag, and he is worried about members of the Royal Navy. Finally, he stumbles upon an idea which he sends up his flagpole to see if it gets a saluteā¦
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Britain was made great by arseholes; MPās thinking about porn and national stereotypes.
Itās a very slow news week. Lacking stimulation Giles and Esther turn to pornography and the MPās who are worrying about its effect on sex education. Inspired, Giles decides he can write a piece in praise of āthe arseholeā ā they have a game of āgood arsehole, bad arseholeā and speculate on the nature of Sacha Baron Cohenās arsehole-ness.
Fully expecting to face justice for their crimes against good taste Giles and Esther consider the potential end to the trial by jury system. In its placeā¦trail by ordeal. Their punishment; to spend eternity gazing at an awful sculpture of a moustachioed plumber.
Finally, an Italian, an Aussie and a Swede walk into a sauna...
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The new Bond, MPās presenting TV programmes, Giles is a Gorilla and Ewan McGregorāsā¦acting skills.
Giles is very excited by the latest actor being linked with the role of James Bond, he feels sure he has some useful tips for the scrip writers ā a Volvo car, a fussy mother, and some anti-allergy pillows.
Elsewhere, what would the BBC advertise if they couldā¦ waterproof pants or Stormzyās latest album? Giles is preoccupied with the effect gravity is having on Ewan McGregorās acting career. And Esther and Giles believe in the benefits of fasting, they have a gut feeling itās a good thing. Sadly, recent research may disagree, they turn to Love Island contestant Auto Phagya for help.
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Giles has gone down the RAC rabbit hole, and to his delight it is providing him with an endless stream of evidence proving that he is, surprise surpriseā¦ an excellent driver. Not content with that he decides to quiz Esther on some of the most common driving myths, thus proving that she is not an excellent driver. You be the judge as to the veracity of his conclusions.
In a column that writes itself the ONSās inflation basket gets a makeover for centrist dads, boomers, and millennials. Finally, Esther nails her colours to the mast ā what is the point of university..?
** Mansfield College does in fact have college status, granted in 1995.
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Peter Mandelson thinks Keir Starmer "needs to shed a few pounds". And Giles, always the friendly neighbour, thinks he can help his local MP look his dashing best on camera. What should he wear, where should he stand, and who should he stand next to? You're welcome Sir Keir - a future invite to Chequers is surely inevitable...
Plus, it's International Women's Day. So what better way to celebrate than writing about what International Men's Day would look like? And while in the safe confines of podcast land, Giles asks Esther about whether she's scared of the menopause.
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Following last weekās comments about the Israel Gaza conflict, Giles had a visit to a local synagogue to navigate. It turned out the Rabbi may have been more famous than he is, but Giles did his aunt proud ā shepping nachas!
Looking for a diversion, Giles and Esther watched a documentary on āBenniferā - Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopezā¦it was quite a disappointment. Their version of a great love story has more in common with the Twits, things get out of hand when they list their pet peeves.
Staying with America, Peppa Pig is spreading the English accent across the Atlantic. Neither are fans of the pink oinker, or of world book day as it turns out. Finally, some wet nappies tie the whole thing together, sort of.
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Itās a challenging and thoughtful episode this week. Giles has changed his opinion on the Israel Gaza conflict. He reflects on the time since he last spoke and wrote about it back in October; his final comments then proved depressingly accurate. Esther is caught off guard when discussing the fate of Russian dissident Alexei Navalny. Thereafter, all other subjects seem to be ātap dancingā around the edges, but nevertheless menās jewellery leads to an amusing insight into Esther and Giles respective sex lives at universityā¦
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VAT on school fees offers Giles and Esther the chance to consider the effects of a deluge of public-school children into the state system. Should it come to pass there will be a familiar cast of winners and losers. A pressing question; how should one dress when out in Mayfair? As shabbily as possible it seems, with good reason, oh and donāt wear a watch.
After the break the Kings cancer diagnoses stirs some emotional memories, but nothing to be exploited. In lighter news it turns out that Orcas are not lost at sea and the French are having less sex, whilst the English are making eyes at their pets...
**For those, like me, unsure of the meaning of a āmufti dayā it is a non-uniform day at school
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Gwyneth Paltrow isā¦furious. Thankfully Gwyn has a unique way to unleash her anger. As a man used to losing his temper Giles feels he can give her some tips.
Esther and Giles have been mixing in rarefied circles, but they donāt like to talk about itā¦much. In an exclusive just for the podcast they give a little glimpse into the life of grace and favour.
Lean, fearful children, vain rats and a sexy Jesus pave the way for Rishi Sunak and advice on fasting. Sadly, they never did make it to Marcus Rashford or soft drink sommeliersā¦maybe next time.
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What constitutes being fit for your ageā¦a lap of the track, twenty push ups, or lugging a TV to the tip and changing the bed sheets? Giles and Esther put themselves to the test. Is āfat neckā a sign of being unfit, or an ailment or not a thing at all. Whatever it is, Giles definitely doesnāt have it! And while weāre on illness, he doesnāt have man flu either. In fact, āman fluā is just a tired tropeā¦but he might have prostate trouble, but he canāt be sure because his doctor doesnāt wish to do the necessary.
Finally, a fly past of beards, queue jumping and potty mouthed parrots, all of which just about adds up to a podcast.
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Welcome back and a Happy New Year. Giles welcomes 2024 by pondering the impending apocalypse. Thankfully that doesnāt last long before thoughts turn to working or wanking, or both. Is work by its very definition not to be enjoyed? To quote Esther; āitās boring and it never stops.ā It is unlikely that public sex acts would improve matters much, but it is hard not to consider once the seed has been sown. Speaking of filth, Giles hasnāt washed in six days, but with good reason. Esher on the other had has washed, but in an unconventional manner. Perhaps it is because, like Kate Moss, they just donāt give a figā¦
Here's to series twelve, thanks for listening.
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It's fun, it's festive, itās a bumper edition.
We hope you enjoy it. If you do, please share.
Merry Christmas, see you in the New Year.
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Its Christmas and itās all hands to the ideas pump. Giles has columns to write, lots of them, and heād like them done before Christmas eve. Cue a list of perennial Christmas crackers; cost of Christmas, Whamageddon!, other things to avoid before Christmas, who likes Christmas pudding and dead or alive at Christmasā¦
A quick look at robot reverends and Estherās tips on prepping for the end of the world, and weāre half an hour closer to Christmas.
PS Benny Hill didnāt die on Christmas day.
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Giles and Esther are feeling a little uneasy about discussing the news. Well, one story in particular, the Israel Gaza conflict. Can anything be said, is anyone the right person to say it?
In cheerier news, winter is here, hurrah! Light the fire, hunker down and see no one. Whilst huddled under a blanket Esther has an idea, possibly one āborrowedā from an Adam Sandler film; Esther wants to enact VAR in everyday lifeā¦did you really put the toilet seat down? Finally, the merits of single sex or mixed schools - Giles and Esther make their pitch for; āThe rest is education.ā
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Alternative titles this week could have been āMassive Nutsā or āNow imagine youāre on twitter, 16 and a bit thick.ā Anyway, how are you? Yes, you? All set for Christmas? I donāt know where the time goes, only seems two minutes since it was January. Care for a biscuit...? Giles and Esther are discussing small talk. It seems that some Gen Z's might need a helping hand with face-to-face communication. Sad face emoji.
They cover big talk as well with the autumn statement, eating disorders and anti-Semitic octopuses. Finally, they perform a graceful pirouette to discuss a trip to the ballet.
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An eclectic mix of menās health, politics, literary theory, and superheroes this week.
There is an unfortunate faecal air but fear not it is all in aid of cancer awareness, cinematic description or simply doing the Timesā dirty work.
Giles ponders what kind of resignation letter heād write, and Esther writes an ode to David Cameron.
Finally, the superhero is dead, long live the superheroā¦say hello to āThe columnist!ā
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Giles is feeling cut adrift, in the camp but not part of it, fearing the plight of a secular Jew is a rip off.
With that conundrum left unanswered they try to help Barbra Streisand find some fun in her life. Both agree it is more likely a good book by the fire then a private jet to see Katie Perry.
Finally, a big shout out to our listeners in New Zealand ā Kia Ora!
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After a difficult few weeks Giles and Esther are back. Understandably the conversation begins with the ongoing conflict in the middle east, and its jarring contrast with the rest of life.
Matters develop as the idea of emigrating emergesā¦well running away would be more accurate. But where to, that is the question; Cuba, New Zealand, Mumbaiā¦?
Finally, the āfruityā language of Dominic Cummingsā¦or is it Cummins? Is his lineage that of Campbell, Iannucci and Tucker? Or is he simply the result of unbearable frustration at pompous blobsā¦?
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As you might expect, this week is a difficult episode. Giles tries to make sense of events and his fluctuating reaction to them.
There isnāt much room for levity but Snoop dog releasing a new wine and Esther's fear of bedbugs do there best to offer some light to a very dark week.
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