Afleveringen
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In this episode Cath talks about her concept 'Giving Up on Being Good' and the 'Good Girl Grid'. The experience of emotional neglect produces a set of coping strategies based on our stress responses and unwinding these as we grow and develop as adults is really important so that we can live our own TRUE lives.
This work happens on multiple levels - cognitive, emotional, somatic, spiritual and we have to tolerate the discomfort of practising new ways of being in order that we live for ourselves, not to demonstrate goodness (for an imaginary audience!!)
Cath shares ways she is 'not good' based on what society might expect and how she frees herself to live within the context of her life, so that you can figure out how you can 'give up on being good' in your own life.
This will be the last episode now as we take a short break for summer.
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In the episode this week, Cath is joined by Colleen Adrian. Colleen is an author and a connected parenting coach for parents of sensitive spirited children. She’s a Mom, a Stepmom, and a Grandma and lives on a small island on the west coast of Canada.
Cath and Colleen talked about how Colleen has grown herself up in motherhood, how discovering neuroscience and better understanding her nervous system. And, why that of her child's shifted everything for her and how she continues to surrender to her journey. Colleen shared how astrology has supported her and how she tends to anxiety when it comes up.
Colleen helps parents of sensitive spirited children who struggle with intense emotions, including anxiety, aggression, perfectionism, tantrums and rebellion. Through parent coaching, somatic therapy and online courses, she helps parents learn skills for connection and emotional regulation, both for themselves and their children so they can leave behind authoritarian parenting methods. And, have a strong bond with their kids that they’re deeply longing for. She specialises in creating secure attachment and somatic healing.
She’s passionate about nurturing authenticity, connected relationships, creativity, and supporting kids to grow into their unique selves. She believes the world needs more compassionate human beings who are living authentically from their hearts.
You can find more about Colleen below:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@colleenadrian1590/videosInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/colleen.parentwriter/Website: https://colleenadrian.com/If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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In this episode Cath answers two listener questions. The first question is a short question related to attachment and trauma in our younger years. Have a listen to episode 14 which gives a broad overview of trauma and helps provide context for the first question. Cath will be doing a more detailed view on this material (from episode 14) in an upcoming episode.
The second question relates to feeling seen and heard in our adult love relationships and how this is impacted by various factors, how our inner children play a role and some suggestions for how this need can be met. Cath shares a deeply personal anecdote to illustrate how and why different partners have different levels of comfort with discussions around emotions and how emotional neglect plays a huge role in this.
The book she references is 'Mating in Captivity' by Esther Perel.
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath speaks about the expression of mixed feelings in motherhood and how we may move between two positions. With childhood trauma we may have more intense swings and not have much access to a ‘middle ground’.
Cath looks at how we label ourselves and challenges the notion of linking our emotional states to stories of us as mothers. She shares some of her own experiences and an anecdote about changing after swimming. As always go gently with yourself.
The book Cath references in the podcast is called 'Torn in Two' by Rozsika Parker.
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath talks about our 8 sensory systems, about the importance of sensory integration, how trauma can impact this and shares some specific sensory systems and a couple of anecdotes from her own life to give you an idea about how impactful our sensory experience is.
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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Lisa Marchiano is an award-winning author, podcast host, and certified Jungian analyst. She is the author of three books published by Sounds True, Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself, The Vital Spark: Reclaim Your Outlaw Energies and Find Your Feminine Fire and Dream Wise: Unlocking the Meaning of Your Dreams. She is the cocreator and cohost of the popular depth psychology podcast This Jungian Life, and has a private practice in Philadelphia.
Cath and Lisa talked about Lisa’s motherhood journey, how she has grown herself up, the need for women to grow up and let go of innocence, self abandonment and pleasing others. This maturation process and claiming all parts of our feminine energy (not just that which is kind or sweet) is essential to be able to protect ourselves and our kids and live a full adult life.
You can connect with Lisa on the links listed below.
Instagram: @lisamarchiano
Other web links
LisaMarchiano.com
spinningstraw.com
thisjungianlife.com
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath speaks to over-functioning, how this traps many of us, breaking cycles, noticing and including ourselves in care and to stop operating like a hologram in our own lives. This is long term work with small shifts, Cath says please go gently with yourself.
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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Cath is joined by psychotherapist and coach Kate Merrick. Cath and Kate talked about Kate's path to motherhood, her lineage, how her ancestors turned up to support her journey, personal power in the postpartum time, advocating for our children, medical herbalism and much more.
Kate is a mother, an embodied gestalt psychotherapist, transformational coach and a home herbalist and she is dedicated to guiding women on their journey's of healing and transformation. Kate specialises in the holistic treatment of childhood developmental trauma, ancestral trauma and Post-Traumatic Growth, empowering women
to reclaim their inner authority, their innate wisdom, their cyclical rhythm and to deepen into loving compassionate relationships with themselves.
As well as working in one to one practice, Kate also runs women’s circles that centre around psychological and spiritual growth work. In addition, she now runs Rushmead Farm, her “garden cauldron”, making organic therapeutic products from her Somerset herb garden; natural elixirs that support our minds, bodies and spirits.
You can connect with Kate on Instagram below
@the.embodiedwoman
@rushmeadfarm
Website: www.katemerrickpsychotherapy.co.uk
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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Cath was joined by productivity strategist and home educating Mum of 3 Amanda Appiagyei this week on the podcast. Cath and Amanda talked about Amanda's path to motherhood, mothering in a neurodivergent family, how Amanda tends to herself, her nervous system, her kids and her business, breaking cycles in a black mixed race family and the complexities of dealing with our own stuff as we parent.
Amanda is a sustainable productivity strategist for ambitious but overloaded women, and a home-educating mum of three. She shares equitable time management advice and practical systems for life and business that work with who you already are. Parent-friendly and ND-friendly. Her work supports women who want more than survival mode, eases the mental clutter, lightens the physical load, and frees up hours for what matters most, helping them streamline the boring to make space for the exciting.
Links and details to Amanda's website and socials are listed below.
Stop the Spiral - A Gentle Productivity Tool
unmuddled.co/stop-the-spiral/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amanda.appiagyei/
Website: unmuddled.co
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
Follow Cath on social media here:
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In this episode Cath was joined by Dr Emma Offord. Cath and Emma talked about Emma's path to motherhood, childhood trauma, how Emma tends to and advocates for herself and her children and sensory needs and how these are so important to understand, particularly in the context of families/food/parenting. We talked about autism, ADHD, neurodivergence and trauma, late diagnosis, OCD and how Emma experiences OCD and Emma talked about unmasking and how she advocates for herself in order to tend to her needs.
Dr Emma Offord is a clinical psychologist and founder of Divergent Life, a neuroaffirming practice supporting neurodivergent children, parents, and adults. Divergent Life offers diagnostic assessments for autism and ADHD, alongside therapy, coaching, and group programmes that centre the whole person rather than deficit-based models.
Emma is passionate about challenging medicalised approaches to neurodivergence and naming the systemic harms that arise when difference is misunderstood. Her work helps people understand their nervous systems, developmental histories, and strengths in context, with a particular focus on breaking cycles of shame, survival, and self-blame in parenting and family life.
She brings both clinical expertise and lived experience as a late-identified neurodivergent woman and parent, shaped by complex developmental trauma and a deep understanding of how these layers interact across generations.
Emma hosts This Voice Is Mine: The Unquiet Podcast and offers group programmes including the Neurodivergent Identity Programme (NDIP), Nervous System Reset (NSR), and Empowered Parenting.
Instagram: @divergentlives
Website: divergentlife.co.uk
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath answers a listener's letter. The content of this episode deals with the question: ‘How can we tend to ourselves when we realise some of our parenting has come from our own pain and trauma?’ How do we deal with the guilt and shame arising from this? What helps this shift?
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it. To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath speaks about how control is such a key coping strategy for so many of us and how this rears its head at times of stress (like early motherhood) and in new situations. Control is not the solution we think it is and Cath shares a recent incident from her own life showing how control is so seductive and seems to be the answer, but really it is an illusion.
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In episode 160 Cath speaks about how we have to develop our own sense of power and sovereignty as we heal from childhood trauma and how this involves really moving away from external approval. She talks about developing self trust, ceasing to gaslight ourselves and the concept of unconditional love. We have to consciously unhook from societal messages so we can craft the life of our own dreams.
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this deeply touching episode Cath was joined by attachment expert and psychotherapist Anne Power. Anne shared about her own attachment journey, some of her childhood story, boarding school, brief explanations about the different attachment styles, attachment in couple relationships and attachment, grief and repair in the parent child relationship. This episode will help you feel supported and seen.
Anne Power first qualified at The Bowlby Centre, and later trained at WPF, Tavistock Relationships and Relate. She has worked in various settings but now works online with couples and parent-with-adult-child pairs. She has written many academic papers and two books; all of these use attachment theory to understand relationships and clinical experience.
Her book Contented Couples is based on interviews with eighteen long-term couples from different traditions, including arranged marriage. It explains couple dynamics in an accessible way and describes how partners’ complementary attachment patterns can work well together.
Anne posts on Instagram @and_attachment with content for people who want to understand attachment in their relationships. Her TEDx talk ‘Attachment theory is the science of love’, also addresses this theme and has been watched by over a million people.
You can watch the TEDx talk yourself by clicking here.
Anne has also recently finished writing a novel about a couple counsellor and the diverse couples who come to see her. Do watch for news and publication of her forthcoming novel on her Instagram page, or on her website where you can also download free PDFs on attachment themes at https://www.contentedcouples.com/
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this rich and wide ranging episode Cath is joined by Dr Arielle Schwartz. We discussed Arielle's path to motherhood, mother wounds in her matrilineal line and how this impacted her childhood, ambivalence in motherhood, complex trauma, nervous system healing, vagal toning and much much more. This episode is woven with rich storytelling crossing multiple generations and offers so much hope to all of us on our own healing journeys.
Dr. Arielle Schwartz is a clinical psychologist and leading voice in the healing of trauma. She is an internationally sought-out teacher and author of seven books including The Complex PTSD Workbook, The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook, EMDR Therapy and Somatic Psychology, and Applied Polyvagal Theory in Yoga. As the founder of the Center for Resilience Informed Therapy, she offers a mind-body approach to therapy for trauma and informational mental health and wellness updates through her writing, public speaking, social media presence, and blog. She believes that the journey of trauma recovery is an awakening of the spiritual heart.
Learn more at www.drarielleschwartz.com.
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
Follow Cath on social media here:
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In this loving and practical episode Cath responds to a listener question about how to manage generational clashes around the approach to dealing with emotions and how to start conversations around this. She reads the listener's letter and looks at the query from multiple points of view.
Cath addresses common contexts in terms of generational patterns/clashes, points out how much new information we have these days, she addresses perfectionism, anxiety and control, different approaches we might take to addressing this, and she makes some practical suggestions to support intergenerational relationships.
Cath speaks about parenting as gardening and uses this analogy to provide comfort and a useful framework to hold in mind as we work on shifting/breaking cycles in our families.
The book Cath reads from is called 'The Gardener and the Carpenter' by Alison Gopnik.
The 'Brene Brown' TED talk can be found here: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath speaks more about earned secure attachment, infant attachment and its relationship to adult attachment and how we can shift our patterns. There is always hope to shift our attachment patterns and internal working models is relating and Cath speaks about therapy and important ideas to keep in mind when hoping to shift to a more secure way of operating.
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath starts to speak about some of the key points of attachment theory, why this is important for us as adults and starting to cultivate a sense of being fully self supporting of ourselves. With Reparenting we are working to cultivate a relationship with all our selves and to tend gently to these parts. She uses an example of a boundary from her own life to demonstrate self protection (even if others disagree).
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath talks about how many of us go into peak fantasy at this time of year and set ourselves up to have a tricky time. She talks about getting clear about what your fantasy is and to notice that and stop comparing to it.
Cath talks about planning ahead to set your family up for success in the holiday time and what that might look like. She also talks about stress responses, recognising these and how you might support the various stress responses.
We will be back on Tuesday 6th Jan 2026.
The workshop mentioned in the podcast both last week and this week, can be found here: www.cathcounihan.com/triggers-workshop
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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In this episode Cath reflects on how rage may be one of the most common experiences in motherhood (particularly if we have had childhood trauma). She speaks about getting to know our own rage, the shame we might feel and how that might derail us and trying to understand what our rage might be protecting us from. She uses one of the books she talked about last week to springboard into this conversation and highlights psychological patterns by telling a couple of anecdotes.
The workshop mentioned in the podcast, can be found here: www.cathcounihan.com/triggers-workshop
If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.
To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram.
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