Afleveringen
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Trudging on through this wintry weather, it’s good to know that we’ve got a trio of burnt-up ghosts waiting at home keeping the place nice and toasty for us. This week, we’re snuggling up with the criminally underrated WE ARE STILL HERE (2015), which was released to genre fanfare and immediately forgotten about. It’s a great little film and we hope you like it as much as we do, else old Lassander Dagmar might come boil your brains in your silly little skull. It’s family time on this week’s episode of Horror Movie Night!
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If there’s one thing this show’s hosts love, it’s movies that really peel back the layers of what film schools is truly like. Case in point, 2000’s URBAN LEGEND: FINAL CUT, a tale in which a film professor decides to steal a student’s movie and kill everyone involved so he can have the prize money and not have to be a teacher anymore. Makes total sense, right? This sequel is possibly a hair more believable than the plot of Scream 2, but not by much. Luck for us, we’re very good at suspending our disbelief here on Horror Movie Night!
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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A good chunk of us are probably buried under snow right now, so why not grab our skis and hit the slopes? While we’re at it, we might as well crank some obscure 80s Swedish hair metal but be careful - they rock so hard that their music sometimes causes avalanches! It should be fine… What’s worse is there’s a murderous group of Hills Have Eyes knockoffs chilling in the nearby factory and definitely not enough lighting on set to show the viewer who’s killing who. That’s 1985’s BLOOD TRACKS in a nutshell (we think - it was really dark) and we’re digging ourselves out of that fluffy white stuff this week; we may even shovel some snow!
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Few horror tropes get our blood pumping quite like a little heavy metal and Satanic panic, so you must be wondering why it took us this long to get to THE GATE 2: THE TRESPASSERS (1990). Well, we don’t have a good answer for that, but we DO have a good reason for picking it now, and it has a lot to do with this baby turning 35 and our recent desire to celebrate such things on the show. Plus there’s a lot of demon poop in this one, which is objectively hilarious. So now we ask you, what would you wish for if you had summoned an 8” demon capable of making it come true (and then turn it into the aforementioned poop)… Quick suggestion, probably avoid getting your drunk dad his pilot job back right out of the gate…
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Our tradition of letting listeners vote on the first movie of the year for us has once again led to the most obvious choice: more kinder trauma! If you’re a millenial and weren’t homeschooled in the late 80s, you were scarred like the rest of us by the visual of Christopher Lloyd’s eyeballs falling out in the family favorite WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? (1988), and we’re here to remind you about it. Welcome to the new year, try not to get dropped in a vat of caustic, toon-killing chemicals, ok?
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You know what’s crazy? The fact that as of today, Willem Dafoe has now starred in not one, but TWO Nosferatu films. A24’s retelling is now playing in theaters and so we decided now would be a perfect time to discuss a perfect movie about Count Orlock, SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE (2000). You’ve got Dafoe as a vampire playing a vampire in a vampire silent film, and John Malkovich as the myopic director who doesn’t mind a little murder here and there as long as his movie gets made. Is this the most quotable vampire movie of all time? We’re here to argue that it is!
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Check out Matt's new podcast "Christian Cringe"
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Gather round, kids - we’ve got a heartwarming story for you about a Christmas long ago (1990) in a magical place called “Houston” where a detective on a mission encounters an alien with an arm-mounted drain snake to create space heroin to take back to his planet. There is also a gang called the White Boys (really!) who dress like finance bros who want to get their hands on that sweet, sweet space heroin too. And as a bonus, the alien has a killer flying CD attack. It’s a lot to process, so sit back and let your uncles Matt, Scott and Kyle tell you all about DARK ANGEL, aka I COME IN PEACE! In the words of whoever greenlit this insane concept, “let it snow, let it snow, let it snow” and we don’t mean the stuff that falls from the sky when it’s cold.
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There’s a Friday the 13th in December, so grab your Santa hat and hockey mask because we’re celebrating the holiday with one of the few remaining films from the franchise that hasn’t been covered yet, the 1984 classic FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER! Spoiler alert, it was not the actual final chapter, nor does it occur on a Friday - this is actually Sunday the 15th but really who’s counting? Time for some gratuitous “teen” nudity, Crispin Glover dancing, and some sweet, sweet Savini gore. Who’s ready to go skinny dipping in Crystal Lake?
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December is an month chock FULL of kindertrauma, so what better way to kick it off than get lost in the fever dream Disney classic THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS (1980)? The trailer seemed to pop up on every 80s-era live action Disney VHS and scarred an entire generation of kids who are now all grown up and doing podcasts… Plus it’s got Bette Davis in it! Kyle even went the extra mile and got the original sci-fi ending over to Matt and Scott so they could also enjoy how wild this film’s first cut was before the studio wimped out. Name a stray dog after a missing girl’s name backwards, it’s Horror Movie Night!
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Imagine a new take on Frankenstein’s Monster, but instead of it being a human… it’s a dog. And instead of it being horror, it’s almost pure comedy. Congrats, you’ve successfully pitched MAN’S BEST FRIEND (1993) to a cigar-smoking movie exec hopped up on enough nose candy to greenlight it! This is a very strange movie, and could only have been created in that golden age of horror between the end of second-wave slashers in the early 90s before SCREAM revitalized the genre. They were really scraping for ideas, so a Cujo-meets-Robocop was just the ticket apparently. That said, this movie is an absolute blast… as long as you’ve got your rabies shot.
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Why Full Moon didn’t do a compilation called Short Movies For Short Monsters, we may never know, but if Chucky Band wants to get in on that IP, he has our number. And if he does come to his senses, we just know he’ll kick off his comp with 1993’s DOLLMAN VS. DEMONIC TOYS. Coming in at a diminutive 64 minute runtime, with at least half of the scenes pulled from DOLLMAN (1991), DEMONIC TOYS (1992) and BAD CHANNELS (1992), this is barely a feature film, but at least it doesn’t overstay its welcome. Get down on our level and see what a foot-high alien cop does when a foul-mouthed baby doll tries to have its way with his girlfriend (also one foot tall). It’s all very confusing.
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When it comes to deciding on titles, no killer yeti movie has ever gone quite as hard as 1974’s SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED. Come on, that’s bad ass, though the badassery more or less starts and ends at the title, leaving little imagination left for the actual movie it precedes. What follows is a lot of bad acting, a little bit of plot involving college students tracking down a yeti with their professor, and a final scene with more outdated racial stereotypes than you’ve seen all year (hopefully). This one is pure 70s schlock with a surprisingly famous song about popcorn tossed in for good measure. What else would you expect from us at this point?
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For some people, Christmas season starts on November 1st, which is legitimately crazy but who are we to yuck Matt’s yum? In honor of the coziest time of year when family is never far, we get familiar with 1988’s guy-talks-to-mannequins classic PIN! This was first discussed in our Reddit Horror Club days, and it was high time it made an appearance on HMN. It’s got enough sleaze to keep even Kyle happy, and Scott went the extra mile and read the book it was adapted from for this episode, so prepare for a double dose of childhood trauma. It’s doctor’s orders!
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Happy Halloween, everybody! As in tradition at Horror Movie Night, we are discussing a kid-friendly horror movie with 2009’s incredible stop-motion CORALINE. Beyond the wonderful story and truly creepy Other Mother, the technical prowess on display throughout this movie is just untouchable. Is this a perfect spooky season offering for the whole family? Let’s use our button eyes to see!
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It’s almost Halloween, and it’s been a while since we discussed a Michael Myers movie, so why not tackle 1981’s divisive sequel HALLOWEEN II? This fever dream (literally) of a slasher has some fun kills, Donald Pleasance doing the most, and the introduction of the head-scratching explanation that Laurie is actually Michael’s baby sister from the beginning of the first movie. We never really get to move past that in the rest of the Halloween franchise, so we might as well get into on this week’s episode. Also, look at how red the blood is in this one!
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It’s finally happened… Scott’s lost his head and has run off with the Pickety Witch to SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999)! Celebrating 25 years of sort-of-kid-friendly head trauma, this delightful film is full of blood, humor, and a very problematic cast and director (not you, Christina Ricci, we still love you). Meet us at the Tree of the Dead and we’ll promise not to chew off your tongues when we smooch…
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This week, we found our fourth and once we call the corners, we’re gonna make ALL the boys love us! Kyle pulled a string or two and we had the great pleasure of discussing 1996’s THE CRAFT with none other than its writer, Peter Filardi! Listen to hear what Peter’s original ending for the film was, as well as learn about what he and Kyle have been working together on recently. It’s a real October surprise this week on Horror Movie Night!
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It’s finally October, the best month of the year! How are we kicking things off, by watching a lot of gun violence, of course! That’s right, we’re discussing 2014’s THE GUEST, which is the most Cannon Films movie that wasn’t actually made by Cannon Films. Sure, there’s a lot of guns, but there’s also a huge Halloween 3 nod in the final act so it definitely qualifies as HMN fodder. Welcome to spooky season, never trust Dan Stevens with your Fireball.
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Rounding out Listener Submitted Month is an infamous piece of British television history that was almost lost to time until some kind souls brought Mr. Pipes' broadcast seance back from the bin and released 1992’s BBC switcharoo GHOSTWATCH once more! Your always-studious hosts take you through the planning and execution of television’s greatest illusion (sorry David Copperfield), explaining why this tv movie takes the gold when it came to suspending disbelief upon its original airing. Prepare your best Cockney accent as we travel to foggy Londontown on this week’s episode, guv’ner!
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