Afleveringen
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Alright, folks, letâs dive into some juicy family dynamics! Today, we're peeling back the layers on why family gatherings feel like stepping into a well-rehearsed play where everyone knows their linesâespecially those cringe-worthy ones. The real kicker? Itâs not about the events themselves; it's about the patterns weâve been stuck in since we were knee-high to a grasshopper. We're talking about those age-old scripts we keep repeating, and trust me, theyâre not as random as you think. Spoiler alert: itâs your nervous system playing tricks on you, making you time travel back to your childhood every time Uncle Bob brings up politics at the barbecue. So grab your favorite snack, settle in, and letâs explore how we can break those patterns without putting the blame on anyone elseâbecause, really, who has the energy for that?
Takeaways:
Navigating family dynamics often unveils deep-rooted patterns that we unknowingly perpetuate, impacting our emotional well-being.The key to transforming how we interact with family involves reframing blame and focusing on personal accountability instead.Our nervous systems have been conditioned from childhood to react in predictable ways during family gatherings, leading to emotional time travel.Mastering the art of storytelling about our experiences can significantly alter our emotional responses and improve our overall happiness.Links referenced in this episode:
amandahest.ca/bookacall
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DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU SET A GOAL, PUSH HARD FOR A FEW DAYSâAND THEN FALL OFF AND WONDER WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
Like no matter how many times you try, you can't seem to make yourself do the things you say you want to do?
If that's you, this episode is going to change how you see yourself.
Because it's not that you're lazy. And it's not that you lack discipline.
It's that the fuel you've been using to motivate yourself is actually working against youâand no one has ever shown you what to use instead.
In this episode, I'm breaking down why accountability and motivation fail most people, what's really underneath the cycle of trying and quitting, and what it actually takes to build habits that stick long term.
In This Episode, I Cover:
Why motivation and accountability alone will never be enoughThe real reason you can push for a few daysâbut can't make it lastHow shame becomes the hidden fuel behind most "self-improvement" effortsWhy using self-hatred as motivation has a built-in breaking pointThe difference between forcing yourself and genuinely wanting to show upWhy love is a more powerful motivator than frustration, disappointment, or disgustHow to get specific about why you actually want what you wantWhy your brain resists new habitsâand why that doesn't mean anything is wrong with youThe practical steps to remove barriers and make showing up easierHow to talk to yourself the night before so you actually follow throughThe toddler analogy that reframes everything about self-disciplineWhy a D-plus effort is still better than nothingâand how to own thatWhat regulated accountability actually looks like versus dysregulated forcingHow to flex when life gets in the way without quitting entirelyWhat changes when you stop using guilt and start using radical self-acceptanceKey Takeaway
You don't have a motivation problem. You have a fuel problem.
Shame, guilt, and self-disgust can push you for a few daysâbut they will always break down. They are not a long-term solution.
What actually works is getting specific about why you want what you want, removing the barriers between you and the action, and learning to redirect yourself with kindness instead of force.
You don't need to be harder on yourself. You need to be more honestâand more loving.
Invitation
I'm running JuneTube all month inside the Love Yourself No Matter What communityâweekly trainings, weekly lives, and everything you need to actually use these tools and create a different kind of summer.
To get access, grab the free End Overthinking Five-Minute Reset Ritual at:
đ joinamanda.ca
You'll get the audio training plus an invitation to everything happening in June.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If you want support implementing this work in your own life, you can book a discovery call with me.
We'll talk about what's going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit.
Book here: amandahess.ca/bookacall
Connect With Me
If this episode resonated, I'd love to hear from you.
Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess
Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.
Featured on the Show:
Book a free consultation call with meSend me a DM over on InstagramHelp Other Women Find This Podcast
If this episode resonated with you, or you know someone who needs to hear it, please share.Leave me a review on Apple Podcasts and let me know what topics you would like to hear.Don't miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or RSS.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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What Happens When the Helper Can't Handle You
There is a systemic failure happening in the helping industry â and nobody is talking about it.
Coaches and therapists are opening emotional doors they are completely unprepared to sit in. And when you show up authentically â crying, angry, overwhelmed, resistant â instead of being held, you get shut down. Pathologized. Shamed into getting small.
I'm recording this one hot, because it happened to me today. And I need you to hear it.
What I cover in this episode:
The $25,000 business mastermind where I was told they'd "move on" while I cried â and how it took me months to recover my confidenceBeing interrupted mid-share and told to mute myself and come back with a "more appropriate" shareBeing told by a business coach â twice â that I needed therapy, not coachingWhy this isn't a you problem â it's a capacity problem on their endWhy shutting down emotion doesn't protect the client â it retraumatizes themWhat trauma-aware support actually looks like in practiceClients who've been fired by therapists for being "too emotional" â and why that's an industry failure, not a client failureWhat it looks like when all of it is welcome: crying, anger, resistance, circling, even lying â none of it pathologizedThe truth I keep coming back to:
Shame is the mechanism used to make you small. When someone in authority responds to your emotion with dismissal or redirection, the message that lands is: what you just did was wrong. And you shrink. You manage yourself. You stop showing up fully.
That was never your shame to hold.
You are allowed to show up as the fullest, most authentic version of yourself. There are helpers â coaches, therapists, friends, partners â who won't reject that. Your job is to find them.
If this resonated:
Book a free discovery call with me: amandahess.ca/bookacall
Connect on Instagram: @theamandahess
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Do you ever feel like thereâs a version of you that wants more out of lifeâŚ
More joy.
More confidence.
More freedom.
More YOU.
But every time you try to move toward her, something pulls you back?
In this episode, weâre talking about identity, possibility, and why becoming the woman you want to be has less to do with âfixing yourselfâ and more to do with what your brain believes is possible for you.
I share a story from figure skating that completely shifted how I think about growth and identity, and why being around people who are already doing the things you want to do changes your brain faster than trying to force yourself to believe differently.
We also talk about:
Why sensitive women often stay stuck in old identities
How your environment shapes what feels possible
Why your thoughts are not facts
The psychology behind seeing other people do what you want to do
Why your brain resists change (even when you WANT it)
What Rick Rubin calls the âlazy brainâ
Why more possibility creates more freedom
The connection between anxiety, emotional heaviness, and purpose
Why you donât need to âfixâ yourself to create a different life
How coaching, support, and community help you expand your identity
The biggest takeaway from this episode:
You are not as stuck as you think you are.
Sometimes your brain just needs evidence that another way of living is possible.
And when you start surrounding yourself with people, spaces, and conversations that expand what feels possibleâŚ
you start becoming someone new without even realizing it.
If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work in your own life, you can book a discovery call with me here:
amandahess.ca/bookacall
Connect with me on Instagram:
@theamandahess
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Today Iâm talking about something I see constantly in women who are overwhelmed, emotionally reactive, anxious, or stuck in survival mode: the inability to slow down and be alone with themselves.
So many of us are constantly doing. Working, parenting, helping everyone else, consuming self-help, listening to podcasts, journaling, trying to improve ourselves, trying to stay productive â and while none of those things are bad, eventually we lose our connection to ourselves.
In this episode, Iâm talking about:
Why constant doing can keep us emotionally dysregulatedWhat emotional reactivity actually isHow fear of feeling keeps us stuck in fight, flight, freeze, and fawnWhy silence feels uncomfortable for so many womenThe importance of emotional safety and nervous system regulationHow to build the ability to feel emotions without becoming consumed by themSmall ways to slow down and reconnect with yourself throughout your dayThis episode is a reminder that healing is not always about doing more. Sometimes itâs about creating enough space to finally hear yourself again.
Key TakeawaysEmotional reactivity isnât just about outward behaviour â itâs when emotions are running your internal experience.Many women stay busy because being alone with themselves feels unsafe.Constant input and productivity can disconnect us from our bodies and nervous systems.Fear of emotion creates chronic fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses.Emotional safety is something we can build over time.Small moments of silence and grounding matter more than you think.Healing is not about white-knuckling your way through life.
Quotes From This EpisodeâAll of your life is not a doing problem. Itâs a being problem.ââThe more emotionally safe you feel, the more able you are to allow emotion.ââIf everything you do is designed to get rid of emotion, youâre going to live in fear.ââWe live in a society that is perpetually inputting into us â and we never give ourselves space to release it.ââSilence is a skill. Being alone with yourself is a skill.âCall to ActionIf this episode resonated with you and youâre realizing how much of your life has been spent in survival mode, Iâd love to support you.
You can book a free discovery call at:
đ amandahess.ca/bookacall
Together, we can look at whatâs keeping you emotionally stuck, how to create more emotional safety, and whether coaching is the right next step for you.
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Let me tell you, if youâve ever felt like you just canât shake off a past hurt, youâre in for a treat. Weâre diving into the fascinating world of traumaâwhat it really is and why it affects us all differently. Iâm talking about the sneaky ways that emotional pain can manifest in our daily lives, from the tone of someoneâs voice to the way silence can feel like a punch in the gut. It turns out that our brains are wired to keep us safe, but sometimes, they misinterpret signals and lead us down a rabbit hole of anxiety and fear. Weâll unpack why trying to simply âthinkâ your way out of it is like trying to use a spoon to dig a holeâitâs just not going to work! Instead, Iâll share some insights on how to work with your nervous system to create a sense of safety and stability in your life. Plus, Iâve got a brand new free class coming up thatâs perfect for anyone feeling stuck in the cycle of overthinking. Itâs time to learn how to prioritize your feelings without guilt and start living a âfuck yesâ lifeâone thatâs truly yours!
Takeaways:
You might think you're overreacting, but your brain is just processing trauma differently than others.Replaying conversations is not a flaw; itâs your brain's way of trying to create safety after emotional pain.Feeling anxious or reactive isn't a logic issue; it's a feelings problem that needs to be addressed with care.It's crucial to realize that your needs are just as important as everyone else's, not optional.Suppressing emotions only makes things worse; you need to learn how to process feelings effectively.A 'fuck yes' life is about prioritizing your own desires and needs, not waiting for others to validate you.Links referenced in this episode:
amandahest.ca/bookacall
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Alright friend, grab your gardening gloves because today weâre talking about something really important: how to create a life that actually blooms.
The biggest takeaway from this episode?
I think we spend way too much time pulling weeds and not nearly enough time planting flowers.
You know how in spring we clean out our gardens? We pull out the dead stuff, clear the weeds, make space for something new. I really think we need to do the same thing mentally and emotionally too.
So many women are walking around completely focused on whatâs wrong. Whatâs wrong with them. Whatâs wrong with their relationship. Their body. Their job. Their life. And while yes â sometimes we absolutely do need to deal with the weeds â I donât think healing is supposed to just be endless weeding.
At some point, we also have to plant flowers.
In this episode, I talk about:
Why constantly âfixing yourselfâ can actually keep you stuckThe difference between pulling weeds and creating beautyNervous system regulation that actually feels supportive and doableWhy pleasure matters more than most women realizeHow kindness, rest, joy, and unconditional love change your lifeWhy so many women are burned out from trying to hold too many platesHow to start creating a life that feels full instead of just managedI also share why figure skating is one of the biggest nervous system regulators in my own life, and why the things that light you up emotionally are not frivolous â theyâre necessary.
This episode is really an invitation to stop living in constant maintenance mode and start intentionally creating a life you actually want to be inside of.
Because the truth is:
If all we ever do is pull weeds, we end up exhausted.
But when we start planting flowers?
Everything changes. đ¸
Want to talk to me directly? Book a free discovery call here:
amandahess.ca/bookacall
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If youâve been repeating affirmations, journaling your thoughts, and still feeling stuck⌠we need to talk.
Because itâs not that youâre doing it wrong.
Itâs that these tools arenât actually designed to create the kind of change youâre looking for.
In this episode, Iâm breaking down why mantras and journaling often donât workâespecially for sensitive, self-aware womenâand what to do instead.
Mantras can create internal conflict when your brain doesnât believe what youâre saying.
Journaling can turn into rumination that reinforces the exact patterns youâre trying to break.
So if youâve ever felt like:
âI should be further along by nowâ
âI know better, so why am I still stuck?â
âIâve done so much work, why hasnât anything really changed?â
This episode will land.
Iâm going to show you a different way to work with your brainâone that actually creates emotional buy-in, shifts your beliefs, and changes how you show up in your life.
⨠In This Episode, I Talk About:Why mantras often feel empty (and can actually increase anxiety)How journaling can quietly reinforce negative thinking patternsThe role your survival brain is playing behind the scenesWhy your beliefsânot your thoughtsâare what need to changeThe real skill that creates confidence, calm, and lasting changeHow asking better questions can completely shift your emotional state
đ What I Want You To Take Away:You donât need to force yourself to think positively.
You need to learn how to question what youâre thinking in a way that actually opens something up.
đ Try This Instead:Next time you feel stuck, donât reach for a mantra.
Ask yourself:
What if this isnât actually true?What would be possible if I believed I was enough?How would I show up if I felt fully accepted?Let your brain answer. Thatâs where the shift happens.
đŹ Want Help With This?This is exactly the work I do with my clients.
If youâre ready to stop spinning in your head and actually create change that feels real and sustainable, you can book a call with me:
đ amandahess.ca/bookacall
đ˛ Come Say HiIf this episode resonated, DM me on Instagram or TikTok. Iâd love to hear what landed for you.
Links referenced in this episode:
amandahessbookacalltheamandahess
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If youâve ever thought âwhy am I so emotional?â or felt like youâre just too sensitive for this world, this episode is going to shift everything.
Because what if the problem isnât your emotionsâŚ
but what youâve been taught to believe about them?
In this episode, Iâm breaking down the hidden conditioning that makes sensitive women feel weak, overwhelmed, or âtoo muchââand why that narrative is not only false, itâs keeping you stuck.
Weâll talk about:
Why being emotional has been framed as a flawHow society profits from you believing something is wrong with youThe real reason you feel overwhelmed, reactive, or âtoo muchâWhy trying to fix yourself is making things worseThe powerful shift from problem-focused â desire-led livingHow to start trusting your sensitivity instead of fighting itIf youâre a deeply feeling, intuitive woman whoâs tired of trying to be lessâŚ
this is your permission slip to stop.
đ§ What Youâll Walk Away WithA completely new way to understand your emotional experienceRelief from the belief that youâre âtoo muchâ or brokenA starting point for working with your sensitivity instead of against itA powerful reframe that opens the door to more peace, energy, and self-trust
đŹ Ready to Go Deeper?If this episode hit home and youâre ready to stop overthinking, people-pleasing, and feeling stuck in your own emotionsâŚ
Book a free discovery call with me:
đ https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call
Weâll talk about whatâs going on for you and map out what real support could look like.
đ Share This EpisodeKnow someone who feels like theyâre âtoo emotionalâ or struggles with sensitivity?
Send this to her. It might be exactly what she needs to hear.
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To join Sensitive. Not Fragile - go to joinamanda.ca
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Do you ever feel like you just⌠canât let things go?
Like something happens and other people move onâbut youâre still thinking about it days, weeks, or even years later?
If thatâs you, this episode is going to change how you see yourself.
Because itâs not that youâre overreacting.
And itâs not that youâre too sensitive.
Itâs that your brain and body are trying to process past hurtâand no one has ever shown you how.
In this episode, Iâm breaking down what trauma actually is (and why itâs not always what you think), how a sensitive brain stores and replays emotional pain, and why trying to âthink your way out of itâ will never work.
In This Episode, I Cover:What trauma really is (and why itâs different for everyone)Why you donât get to choose what your brain labels as traumaticHow past hurt shows up in everyday moments (conversations, tone, silence, looks)Why you replay conversations and overanalyze what you saidThe real reason you assume âI did something wrongâHow your brain uses the past to try to create safety in the presentWhy this is NOT a logic problemâitâs a feelings problemWhy trying to change your thoughts first keeps you stuckWhatâs actually happening when you feel anxious, triggered, or reactiveWhy suppressing or âshrinkingâ your emotions makes everything worseThe cycle of overthinking â reacting â reinforcing fearWhy your brain is working exactly as itâs designed toThe truth about trauma: it doesnât disappearâand it doesnât need toWhy willpower, discipline, and âjust calming downâ donât work long-termWhat it actually takes to stop looping and start feeling steady
Key TakeawayYouâre not holding onto things because youâre weak.
Youâre holding onto them because your brain is trying to protect you.
This isnât a logic problemâitâs a feelings problem.
And until you learn how to process what you feel,
your mind will keep trying to solve it⌠over and over again.
You donât need to think better.
You need to learn how to work with your nervous system and your emotions.
InvitationIâm teaching a brand new free class on April 16:
Sensitive, Not Fragile
If youâre done overthinking everything,
replaying conversations,
and feeling like you canât fully relax in your lifeâŚ
Iâm going to show you a completely different way to work with yourself.
Inside this class, Iâll teach you how to:
Stop the overthinking loopWork with your emotions instead of against themRegulate your nervous system in real timeFeel more steady, even when life feels hardđ Register here: joinamanda.ca
Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, Iâd love to hear from you.
Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess
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If youâve been told your whole life that youâre âtoo sensitiveââŚ
and somewhere along the way you started believing that meant youâre fragileâŚ
This episode is for you.
Because sensitivity is not the problem.
But not understanding how to work with it?
Thatâs where things start to break.
In this episode, Iâm breaking down what sensitivity actually is (hint: itâs not just crying), why so many women feel like theyâre one step away from falling apart, and whatâs really going on beneath the anxiety, overthinking, and emotional overwhelm.
In This Episode, I Cover:What sensitivity actually means (and why itâs so misunderstood)Why a âsensitive nervous systemâ doesnât always look emotional on the outsideHow childhood conditioning teaches you that who you are is a problemWhy masking, performing, and shape-shifting become your defaultHow confidence decreases as life gets more complexWhy anxiety, second-guessing, and overwhelm start to increase over timeThe real reason you feel like you might âbreakâWhy nothing has gone wrong â youâve just never been taught how to work with yourselfThe difference between being sensitive and being fragileWhat actually creates stability, confidence, and emotional strength
Key TakeawayYou are not too sensitive.
You are under-supported.
Sensitivity without the right tools will feel like overwhelm.
But sensitivity with support, self-trust, and nervous system regulation?
Thatâs power.
InvitationIâm hosting a brand new free class:
Sensitive, Not Fragile
If youâre done feeling like youâre one emotion away from falling apart,
this is where you start.
Iâll teach you how to:
Feel your emotions without collapsingRegulate your nervous systemBuild real self-trustCreate a life that actually feels goodđ Register here: joinamanda.ca
Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, Iâd love to hear from you.
Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess
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What if the reason you feel invisible⌠isnât actually about other people?
In this episode, Iâm sharing something that came up in a coaching session â and it hit deeper than I expected.
Because while most of us wouldnât say âI feel irrelevant,â we feel it in subtle ways:
When someone doesnât listen to usWhen we donât feel validatedWhen we feel overlooked in conversationsWhen our reactions feel bigger than the momentAnd what I realized is this:
You only feel irrelevant when you treat yourself like you are.
In this episode, I break down how this shows up, why it triggers such strong emotional reactions, and how to take your power back â without needing anyone else to change.
In This Episode, I Cover:Why âfeeling invisibleâ is more common than you thinkThe hidden belief underneath emotional reactionsHow quickly we internalize other peopleâs behaviorThe difference between external validation and internal relevanceWhy you donât need permission to matterHow to stop fighting for relevance â and start owning itThe pattern that keeps repeating in relationships (and how to break it)Why reactivity keeps you stuck â and curiosity moves you forwardHow to get your needs met without escalating conflict
Key TakeawayYou are not relevant because other people validate you.
You are relevant because you decide you are.
When you stop outsourcing your worth and start leading yourself from that place â everything changes:
Your reactions.
Your relationships.
Your confidence.
Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, Iâd love to hear from you.
Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess
Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.
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This episode is a little different.
Itâs actually a practice I shared with my private clients this week while Iâm in Hawaii â and I wanted to bring it here because itâs something you can use in real time when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in your head.
This is about what I call planting yourself in the moment.
So many of us live in our thoughts â spinning, analyzing, anticipating â and it pulls us out of our bodies and away from ourselves.
This practice is a simple way to come back.
It helps you move out of your mind and into your body using your senses, your breath, and a few grounding thoughts that remind you: youâre safe, nothing has gone wrong, and you can be with yourself here.
The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to regulate your nervous system and support yourself through hard moments.
In This Episode We Talk About
⢠What it means to âplant yourself in the momentâ
⢠How to use your senses to ground yourself anywhere
⢠A simple breathing pattern to calm your body
⢠The role of safety-based thoughts in nervous system regulation
⢠Why getting out of your head and into your body changes everything
⢠How to be present with yourself even when youâre experiencing discomfort
Key Takeaway
You can feel grounded and safe even in the middle of a difficult emotion.
When you learn to bring yourself back into the present moment â instead of getting lost in your thoughts â your nervous system settles, your body softens, and you reconnect with yourself.
Nothing has gone wrong.
This is just a feeling.
And you can be with yourself through it.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If this resonated and you want support applying this work in your own life, Iâd love to help.
You can book a discovery call with me and weâll talk about whatâs going on for you and whether coaching together is a good fit.
Book here:
amandahess.ca/bookacall
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In episode 302, I shared the first 10 lessons Iâve learned from living 50 years with a sensitive nervous system.
Today weâre continuing with the next 10.
These lessons are about something I think many sensitive women struggle with: emotional adulthood.
Many of us are technically adults, but weâre still letting the hurt version of us, the teenage version of us, or the people-pleasing version of us lead our lives. And when that happens, we end up exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from ourselves.
Learning emotional responsibility changes everything.
It means recognizing that your feelings are yours to care for. It means setting boundaries instead of quietly crossing them and then feeling resentful. It means advocating for yourself even when itâs uncomfortable.
These are lessons I learned the hard way â through relationships, mistakes, and a lot of personal growth. My hope is that by sharing them with you, you might learn them a little more gently.
If youâve ever struggled with resentment, over-explaining yourself, feeling responsible for everyone elseâs emotions, or performing in order to be accepted, this episode will help you see those patterns more clearly.
And once you see them, you can start choosing something different.
In This Episode We Talk About⢠Why other people are not responsible for your feelings
⢠How resentment often means youâre crossing your own boundaries
⢠Why over-explaining is usually fear of rejection
⢠Why advocating for yourself might make people uncomfortable â and why thatâs okay
⢠How you can disappoint someone and still be a good person
⢠Why being âlow maintenanceâ is often conditioning, not a personality trait
⢠The difference between being needed and being valued
⢠Why you donât need to be relevant â you need to be important to yourself
⢠How to recognize when youâre performing instead of living
⢠Why you will almost never regret choosing yourself
Key TakeawayEmotional adulthood begins the moment you stop trying to manage everyone elseâs feelings and start taking responsibility for your own.
When you learn to set boundaries, validate yourself, and choose what actually matters to you, your life becomes more peaceful, more powerful, and far more fulfilling.
Choosing yourself isnât selfish.
Itâs how you stop leaking your energy everywhere and start building a life that actually feels good to live.
Ready to Go Deeper?If you want support implementing this work in your own life, you can book a discovery call with me.
Weâll talk about whatâs going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit.
Book here:
amandahess.ca/bookacall
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Many women say they want deeper friendships. They want their people â the women they can laugh with, text, and go for coffee or brunch with.
But thereâs a hidden pattern that quietly blocks connection.
When we walk into rooms believing that nobody likes us, we become hyper-focused on ourselves â how weâre being perceived, whether weâre awkward, whether we said the wrong thing. And when our attention is turned inward like that, it becomes almost impossible to actually connect with someone else.
Real friendship doesnât grow out of self-consciousness or performance. It grows out of curiosity, generosity, and genuine interest in another person.
In this episode, I talk about the mindset patterns that make adult friendship harder than it needs to be â and what actually creates meaningful connection.
I also share the simple framework I use with my coaching clients to understand how friendships develop over time and why so many women unintentionally put pressure on the wrong relationships.
If youâve ever felt like everyone else has friends except you, or like making friends as an adult feels confusing or exhausting, this episode will help you see whatâs really going on â and how to start approaching connection in a healthier, more empowering way.
In This Episode We Talk AboutWhy believing ânobody likes meâ makes connection almost impossibleHow insecurity creates self-focus that blocks real friendshipThe difference between collecting friends and building relationshipsWhy adult friendships feel harder than friendships earlier in lifeThe three âfriendship bucketsâ that explain how friendships actually formWhy putting pressure on a few people to become your friends often backfiresThe importance of growing your self-relationship so friendships can form naturallyHow vulnerability and invitations create opportunities for connectionWhy genuine curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for building friendships
Key TakeawayFriendship isnât something you acquire or secure.
Itâs something you build â one conversation, one interaction, and one genuine connection at a time.
The question isnât âDo they like me?â
The real question is:
âAm I showing up with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to connect?â
Ready to Go Deeper?If youâre ready to work on your relationship with yourself â the foundation for every relationship in your life â you can book a discovery call with me.
We'll talk about whatâs going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit.
Book here:
amandahess.ca/bookacall
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I turned 50 this week.
And Iâll be honest â this birthday feels different.
Thereâs awareness.
Thereâs fear.
Thereâs grief.
And thereâs a level of self-trust I would have begged for in my twenties.
In this episode, Iâm starting a 5-part series sharing 50 things I know at 50 about being a sensitive woman in 2026 â not just how to survive, but how to thrive.
Today, Iâm giving you the first 10.
These are the foundational lessons â the ones about your nervous system, your emotions, your responsibility, and your capacity.
Because if you donât understand how youâre wired, you will misunderstand your entire life.
In This Episode, I Cover:Why sensitivity is not a flaw (even if itâs been treated like one)How your nervous system drives your reactionsWhy emotions are messengers â not problemsThe difference between regulation and suppressionWhy other people are not responsible for your feelingsHow to stop fucking yourself overWhy joy must be cultivatedHow to move with fear instead of shrinking from itWhy friendship takes work (especially at midlife)What loving yourself actually requiresWhy focusing on what you want MORE of changes everything
Key TakeawayBeing a sensitive woman in 2026 is not about hardening yourself.
Itâs about building emotional capacity.
Itâs about regulating your nervous system instead of reacting from it.
Itâs about becoming unwilling to betray yourself.
Turning 50 hasnât made me less sensitive.
Itâs made me more skilled.
And skill changes everything.
Continue the SeriesThis is Part 1 of a 5-part birthday series:
50 Things I Know at 50 About Being a Sensitive Woman in 2026
Stay tuned for Part 2 next week.
Connect With MeIf this episode resonated, Iâd love to hear from you.
Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess
Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.
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If youâve been trying to âfixâ yourself for years⌠this episode might change everything.
So much of the emotional wellness space is focused on one thing:
Getting rid of whatâs wrong.
The anxiety.
The stress.
The overthinking.
The guilt.
The burnout.
The trauma.
And while support matters, hereâs whatâs missing:
You cannot build a thriving life by only trying to eliminate what hurts.
In this episode, Iâm teaching a core concept I walk my private clients through â the emotional teeter-totter â and why balance, not eradication, is the real goal.
Because life is 50/50.
Your brain is wired to scan for danger.
And trying to remove every uncomfortable emotion will keep you stuck in survival mode.
Instead, we need to learn how to build the other side.
Joy.
Pleasure.
Excitement.
Belonging.
Desire.
Purpose.
When you intentionally build those, everything changes.
⨠In This Episode, We Talk About:Why âfixing yourselfâ can actually make you feel worseHow self-help sometimes overemphasizes whatâs brokenThe 50/50 nature of emotional life (and why itâs normal)How your primitive brain keeps you in survival modeThe emotional teeter-totter analogy that explains everythingWhy eliminating stress isnât the goalHow to build emotional capacity instead of avoidanceThe difference between tolerating emotions and processing themWhy creating joy is a skill (not a luxury)How doing hard, scary things on purpose builds empowermentWhy pleasure, excitement, and fulfillment are your responsibility
đ The TruthYour life wonât feel better because you finally eliminate anxiety.
It will feel better because youâve learned how to:
Feel anxiety without collapsingCreate joy on purposeBuild balance instead of chasing perfectionEmpower yourself emotionallyYou donât need to become stress-free.
You need to become emotionally stronger and more intentional about building what you want.
đż Want to Go Deeper?If this resonates and you want help applying this to your real life:
đ Book a consultation: amandahess.ca/bookacall
You donât have to keep running on the âfixingâ treadmill.
đ§ If You Loved This EpisodeShare it with someone whoâs tired of trying to repair themselves.
And if this podcast supports you, leaving a review helps more women find this work.
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Hey my beautiful friend⌠I canât believe Iâm saying this, but welcome to Episode 300.
When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen⌠or if Iâd even keep going. But here we are â and today I want to revisit the most important message Iâve ever shared:
Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything.
Because self-love isnât about bubble baths or positive affirmations.
Itâs about learning how to be safe with yourself.
Itâs about learning how to support yourself when youâre struggling⌠how to regulate your nervous system⌠how to stop spiraling into shame⌠and how to stop living your life trying to earn love from everyone else.
In this episode, Iâm walking you through where the message of Love Yourself No Matter What came from, why it matters so deeply, how it actually works, and how to begin implementing it in your real life â even if you feel like youâve tried everything.
This is the foundation of emotional healing, confidence, boundaries, and true inner peace.
And if youâve been feeling stuck, anxious, lonely, reactive, exhausted, or like something is âwrongâ with youâŚ
This episode is for you.
⨠In This Episode, We Talk About:Why self-love is still deeply misunderstoodThe difference between being loving vs. being permissiveWhy so many people feel anxious, lonely, and emotionally exhaustedHow perfectionism and pressure keep you stuckMy personal rock bottom â and what I was told about myselfHow nervous system sensitivity can be mistaken for âsomething wrong with youâWhy learning to love yourself creates emotional safetyThe âabused puppyâ metaphor that explains healing perfectlyHow self-love helps you stop procrastinating, people pleasing, and spiralingWhy your life becomes unrecognizable when you stop abandoning yourselfHow to start practicing loving yourself daily (even when you donât feel lovable)
đ Ready to Go Deeper?If you want support implementing this work in your life, Iâd love to talk with you.
đ Book a call here: amandahess.ca/bookacall
đ§ Loved this Episode?If this podcast has supported you, I would be so grateful if you left a review â it helps more women find this work and start healing too.
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