Afleveringen
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Navigating the Do's and Don'ts of Divorce
This week on How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the second episode of Your Divorce Case, a season dedicated to providing listeners with practical advice for navigating the complexities of divorce. This episode tackles a critical aspect of the process: your actions. Seth and Pete emphasize the importance of taking responsibility and making conscious choices throughout the divorce journey to minimize conflict, reduce legal fees, and prioritize the well-being of everyone involved.This episode centers around the concept of maintaining the "status quo." Seth and Pete explain the significance of standing orders, which are court-issued guidelines that dictate behavior during divorce proceedings. They delve into various aspects of maintaining the status quo, such as managing finances, co-parenting responsibly, and communicating effectively. From handling credit card spending to navigating shared expenses and making major purchases, they offer practical advice on avoiding common pitfalls that can escalate conflict and legal costs. They also emphasize the importance of clear, respectful communication with your ex-spouse, especially when it comes to children, and caution against involving friends and family in a way that could negatively impact the case.
Questions we answer in this episode:
What are standing orders, and how do they impact my divorce?How can I manage finances responsibly during the divorce process?What are the implications of dating during a divorce?Key Takeaways:
Maintain the "status quo" in all aspects of your life, particularly finances and childcare.Communicate with your ex-spouse clearly, respectfully, and factually, avoiding emotional language.Seek support from a therapist rather than involving friends and family, who could potentially become witnesses in your caseThis episode of How to Split a Toaster is an invaluable resource for anyone going through a divorce. Seth and Pete provide practical advice and actionable steps to help listeners navigate the process with greater clarity, control, and peace of mind.
Links & Notes
BIFF for Co-Parent Communication by Bill EddySchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(02:04) - Your Actions Matter(04:31) - Standing Orders(05:20) - Financial Status Quo(11:10) - Out of the Ordinary Expenses(14:13) - Standing Orders with Kids(16:34) - Communication Strategies(20:45) - “I believe”(22:24) - Dating During Your Divorce(25:35) - Discoverable(26:26) - Friends and Family(28:25) - Protected Communication(29:29) - Therapist(31:29) - Relocation(36:09) - The Move(42:24) - Documents(44:15) - No Photos(46:11) - Next Time: Pleadings(47:49) - Wrap UpEstablishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.
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In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright kick off season 10 with an exciting and in-depth season-long series: Your Divorce Case. In this first episode, we start by diving into one of the most important relationships you'll have during your divorce: the one with your attorney. Seth shares his expertise on establishing the attorney-client relationship, from the initial consultation to the next steps in the process.
Seth and Pete discuss key aspects of working with a divorce attorney, including attorney-client privilege, conflict checks, and what to expect during your first call. They also explore strategies for finding the right lawyer for your case and how having a good attorney on the other side can benefit both parties.
Questions we answer in this episode:
• When does the attorney-client relationship begin?
• What should you expect during the initial consultation?
• How can you prepare for your first call with a divorce attorney?Key Takeaways:
• Attorney-client privilege starts from the moment you believe the attorney represents you, even without a formal agreement.
• Be prepared for conflict checks and providing basic information during your first call.
• Having a skilled attorney on the other side can help resolve your case more efficiently.Seth and Pete's insights will help you navigate the early stages of your attorney-client relationship with confidence. By understanding the process and knowing what to expect, you'll be better equipped to work with your lawyer and achieve your goals in the divorce.
This episode is packed with valuable information that can save you time, money, and stress as you begin working with a divorce attorney. Tune in to learn how to establish a strong foundation for one of the most critical relationships in your divorce journey.
Links & Notes
Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(02:04) - The First Call(03:17) - The Attorney-Client Relationship(08:26) - Tracking Conflicts(10:49) - What You Should Expect(14:18) - Conflicting-Out Strategies(17:22) - Goal for This Conversation(22:34) - Cost and Duration(24:11) - Expectations for Second Call(26:08) - Season 10 Plans(28:03) - Checklist(29:37) - Wrap UpEstablishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Learning to Communicate with a Narcissist
Narcissist Divorce Coach Victoria McCooey joins Seth and Pete to talk about the challenges that come when trying to get out of a marriage to a narcissist. It’s not easy! We walk through Victoria’s three stages in communicating with your narcissist soon-to-be ex that can help you more easily navigate this difficult situation through each of its phases.
Victoria has been through her own divorce from just this sort of person and has turned that experience into a powerful mission to help others do the same.
Links & Notes
Victoria McCooey Coaching:on the webon Instagramon Facebookon TikTokon YouTubeSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(01:34) - Meet Victoria McCooey(02:05) - Three Phases in Communicating With a Narcissistic Spouse(04:31) - Getting Ahead(06:10) - Turning to Attorney(07:29) - The Stepford Wife Phase(09:05) - Phase Two(10:05) - Learning to Not Take the Bait(15:22) - Taking a While to Get Out(17:17) - Communicating During Divorce Podcast(18:38) - STUFF(21:12) - Other People's Eyeballs(22:32) - Problem With Message or Sender?(24:28) - Kids Are the Priority(26:06) - Asking Lawyer What to Gather(27:03) - Getting Stronger(28:58) - How Will It Be Presented?(29:59) - Phase Three(33:01) - Reaching Out to Victoria(36:14) - Wrap Up -
When you hear the term ‘Custody Battle,’ you have a certain image in your mind. Courtroom fights, crying kids, the worst stereotypes we learn from movies and television. But what happens when you find yourself in a fight for the custody of your kids for real? This week on the show, we welcome Reneé Rodriguez, custody coach and founder of Best Foot Forward, a company with a singular mission: helping parents navigate family court in contentious custody situations.
We talk about perspective – look at what you’re bringing to your lawyer. Are they gripes? Or are they real issues? There’s a difference between the real world and the legal world, and it’s important to know the difference. The goal, of course, is to help you as the parent figure out what’s actually in your best interest. That doesn’t necessarily line up with what you think is in your best interest. The faster you’re able to connect with that, the easier your custody battle will be.
The key in all custody cases is, of course, the kids. How do you protect your kids so they are damaged as little as possible in the process? This is particularly true when trying to get away from a spouse who is a narcissist or abusive.
And the real struggle here is that you have to acknowledge that court-ordered parenting classes rarely make a change in a parent. Courts can’t order parents change to be better parents. But judges are real people. They’re working to help the child end up in the best situation they can.
There’s a lot to discuss about this topic. Tune in!
About ReneéI help parents in a custody battle against a narcissistic co-parent to go into family court and get the custody arrangement that's best for their kids. These women and men have suffered psychological abuse at the hands of their former partners and are working to ensure their children are protected from further cruelty. My company, Best Foot Forward, was founded in early 2018, born out of the encouragement of others to focus on what I had become highly skilled at--navigating family court with my particular strategy and set of templates and sharing all of this with others.
Links & Notes
National Domestic Violence HotlineBest Foot Forward LLCBest Foot Forward’s Custody TemplatesReneé on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTubeSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(01:44) - Meet Reneé Rodriguez(02:19) - Custody Battles(06:23) - Important to You vs. The Court(11:34) - Coaching the Parent(13:28) - What's Fair(14:06) - Documentation(17:56) - Buried in Details(19:54) - The Kids(23:59) - What's Kept Them Stable(27:46) - Domestic Violence(36:46) - High Conflct(39:25) - DV Hotline(40:15) - Reneé's Background(48:44) - Best Foot Forward(50:16) - Contentious Cases(51:26) - Wrap Up -
How has divorce impacted your sex life? Have you noticed a difference in intimacy as you move through your separation, dating, and even sex in your subsequent marriages? How has your experience communicating about your sexual interests and experience changed through divorce?
Dr. Joe Kort is a psychotherapist and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health and a board-certified clinical sexologist. He’s here today to help us navigate the uncertain waters of your post-divorce sex life.
Follow Joe Kort on TikTokThe Center for Relationship and Sexual Health(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(01:51) - Meet Dr. Joe Kort(02:56) - The Changing Landscape of Sex(03:41) - The Love Bomb(04:29) - Healthy Sex Conversations(08:32) - Changes in Post-Divorce Sex(09:48) - What Is the Love Bomb?(12:27) - Negotiating Sexual Differences(15:27) - From Relationship to Relationship(16:42) - Finding Yourself(18:19) - Sexual Identities That Change(20:00) - The Taboo of Sex Talk(23:49) - Rebalancing Power in a Sexual Dynamic(25:25) - Profiling Your Partner(28:17) - Different Backgrounds(29:55) - Practice(31:10) - Discussing Previous Sexual Relationships(35:39) - How the First Time Shapes Things(37:00) - Priorities(38:54) - Wrapping Up
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Let’s just say you’re a woman and you’re about to divorce. We know, crazy, right? But stay with us on this. When you walk away from your marriage, what is it that you most want your former spouse to know? If you could wave a magic wand, not to somehow recover your relationship, but to cast a spell that would ensure that your former spouse truly understood your perspective, what would you say?
This week on the Toaster, Michelle Dempsey-Multack joins us from the Moms Moving On Podcast and she is here to wave just such a wand. She has turned her own divorce into a thriving practice, writing, podcasting, and coaching others. And after we talk about the value of that shared perspective, we dive deep on the importance of finding your own community for support and guidance through your divorce process.
Moms Moving OnGet Michelle’s new book, Moms Moving On: Real Life Advice for Conquering Divorce, Co-Parenting with Conflict and Becoming Your Best SelfSubscribe to Michelle’s Podcast(00:00) - Hot Toaster Summer!(01:17) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(01:44) - Our Guest: Michelle Dempsey-Multack from the Moms Moving On Podcast(02:39) - Perspective Shift(05:02) - How You Speak About Your Ex(08:45) - Viewing the New Person in Your Ex's Life(14:39) - Normalizing Therapy for Men(23:12) - The Value of Communities(26:50) - Working to Keep the Relationship With Your Ex Positive(29:51) - Specific Divorce Community vs. Friend or Family Groups(31:11) - Learning to Be Alone(35:54) - Where to Find Michelle
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In this season finale episode, Seth and Pete explore the concept of emotional capital in divorce with experienced matrimonial and family law attorney Al Feigenbaum. They dive into how preserving emotional well-being during and after a divorce is crucial for effective co-parenting and moving forward in life.
The conversation touches on the importance of attorneys being attuned to their clients' mental health, the impact of the pandemic on divorcing couples, and how lawyers' own emotional capital can be affected by their work. Al shares insights on managing difficult conversations with clients and the pitfalls of getting overly emotionally invested as a divorce attorney.
Questions we answer in this episode:
• What is emotional capital in the context of divorce?
• How can your emotional state impact divorce outcomes?
• What role should a divorce attorney play in addressing a client's mental health?Key Takeaways:
• Preserving emotional capital is crucial for effective co-parenting post-divorce
• Attorneys need to be mindful of how their own communication can escalate emotions
• It's important for attorneys to set boundaries and manage difficult client conversationsThis episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating a divorce who wants to understand the importance of emotional well-being in the process. Seth, Pete, and Al offer valuable perspectives on how to approach divorce in a way that prioritizes mental health and sets you up for a positive post-divorce future.
Links & Notes
Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!About Alan R. Feigenbaum | Blank Rome LLPInstagram (@nonlinearlovestories)Visit NonLinear Love and share your story(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(02:16) - What is Emotional Capital?(07:04) - Mental Health(18:34) - Financial Impact of Emotional Disregulation(26:18) - Nonlinear Love(31:36) - Learn More(33:00) - Listener Questions(33:16) - How does Greyson's Law impact those who have already gone through the courts but evidence was not submitted?(34:56) - Where does the 50/50 split line get drawn?(37:11) - Can I be forced to take a breathalyzer?(38:00) - Are there tax implications associated with our divorce filing date? -
In this listener question episode, Seth and Pete address a variety of concerns that many individuals face when going through a divorce or considering ending their marriage.
The hosts dive into topics such as dating during the divorce process, fighting for your marriage, handling unresponsive attorneys, and the potential impact of changing laws on no-fault divorces. They also discuss the differences between equitable distribution and alimony, inheritance laws in Florida, and how to approach property appraisals during a divorce.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How should you handle dating before your divorce is finalized?Can the divorce process actually save a marriage?What should you do if your attorney is unresponsive and hasn't filed important documents like your QDRO?Key Takeaways:
Equitable distribution deals with the division of assets and debts, while alimony is based on need and ability to pay.In Florida, inheritance maintained as separate property is generally considered non-marital and not subject to equitable distribution.When seeking a property appraisal, focus on finding a reputable and qualified appraiser rather than trying to manipulate the outcome.It’s an information-packed episode with questions sent in from listeners, and also from listeners who have used our chatbot on the website. Those questions are valuable too, so if you have questions of your own, make sure you get them asked and we’ll do our best to answer them in an episode for you.
Links & Notes
Reach out to Andy to practice dating while going through your divorceReach out to Matt Lundy to see if he works in your state regarding QDROsSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:26) - Listener Questions!(00:51) - Question #1(02:57) - Question #2(06:17) - Question #3(10:27) - Question #4(14:14) - Question #5(18:39) - Question #6(20:46) - Question #7(25:38) - Question #8(31:38) - Wrap Up -
Navigating Post-Divorce Relationships with Wendi Dumbroff
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete welcome Wendi L. Dumbroff, a licensed professional counselor and highly trained couple and sex therapist. The conversation centers on the challenges of maintaining civility and communication with an ex-spouse, particularly when children are involved.
Seth and Pete explore the intricacies of post-divorce relationships, seeking guidance from Wendi on how to manage the emotional terrain while prioritizing the well-being of the children. They discuss the significance of redirecting negative energy, establishing clear communication goals, and discovering ways to be heard and validated during the difficult divorce process.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I communicate effectively with my ex when emotions are running high?What can I do to maintain a cordial relationship with my ex for the sake of our children?How do I handle the feelings of resentment and anger towards my ex-spouse?Key Takeaways:
Prioritize your children's well-being and use that as motivation for maintaining civilitySet clear goals for your communication and ensure your messages align with those objectivesAcknowledge your feelings while finding ways to avoid reactive behavior that could escalate the situationThroughout the episode, Wendi offers valuable advice on reframing perspectives, understanding triggers, and doing the necessary personal work to navigate the challenges of post-divorce relationships. Seth and Pete provide relatable examples and insights, making this an engaging and informative listen for anyone grappling with divorce-related communication issues.
Plus, we tackle not one but two listener questions!
Links & Notes
Visit Wendi’s Website or find her on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, or FacebookSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:27) - Meet Wendi L. Dumbroff(00:58) - The Draw to Getting Along with Your Ex(06:30) - Civility During Resentment(07:54) - Help When in the Thick of It(11:33) - Reminding Yourself It’s for Your Kids(14:32) - Correcting Yourself when Angry(20:56) - Being Heard(22:34) - Finding the Right Goal(27:15) - When You’re Damaging the Process(28:59) - Action Steps(31:26) - Finding Wendi(31:46) - Listener Question #1(37:48) - Listener Question #2(40:47) - Wrap Up -
Navigating the Complexities of Military Divorce
In this week's episode of How to Split a Toaster, Pete is joined by a special guest, Kristin Scully, the newest member of NLG Family Law Group. With Seth on vacation, Kristin steps in to share her expertise on the intricacies of military divorce. As a family law attorney with over ten years of experience, Kristin has developed a niche in handling military divorce cases, addressing issues such as pension division, parenting plans, and jurisdictional challenges.
Pete and Kristin dive deep into the unique aspects of military divorce, discussing how factors like frequent relocation, deployments, and military benefits can complicate the process. They explore the misconceptions surrounding military pension division, the importance of understanding the service member's income structure, and the creative strategies for crafting parenting plans that accommodate the demands of military life.
Some questions we answer in this episode:
How is military pension divided in a divorce?What challenges do military families face when creating parenting plans?Can GI Bill benefits be divided in a military divorce?Key Takeaways:
Military pension division is based on the length of the marriage overlapping with years of service, not just the total duration of the marriage.Parenting plans for military families should include provisions for long-distance and local schedules to minimize the need for constant modifications.Jurisdiction can be a complex issue in military divorces, especially when one spouse is stationed overseas.Plus, we tackle another listener question! A listener asks about the difference between a social investigator and a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) in the context of divorce proceedings. Pete and Kristin clarify the distinct roles and responsibilities of these professionals, helping listeners understand when and why each may be appointed in a divorce case.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of a military divorce. With Kristin's extensive knowledge and experience, listeners will gain valuable insights into the unique challenges and considerations involved in these cases. Whether you're a service member, a spouse, or a legal professional, this episode will provide you with the information and strategies you need to approach a military divorce with confidence and clarity.
Links & Notes
Check out Kristin’s pageSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:30) - Kristin Scully and Military Divorce(01:14) - Kristin’s Background(02:02) - Challenges in Military Divorce(03:07) - Military Pension(04:38) - Other Misconceptions(05:40) - Who Pays Pension?(07:23) - Alimony(08:57) - Thrift Savings Plan(09:53) - Calculating Service Member’s Income(12:23) - Parenting Plans(14:33) - When Parents Can’t Work Together(15:51) - Navigating Constant Change and Conflict(17:31) - Court’s Perspective(18:38) - GI Bill(20:23) - Common Mistakes(23:45) - Overseas Courts(25:14) - Listener Question(29:52) - Survivor Benefit Plan(33:38) - Language in Final Judgment(34:24) - Wrap Up -
Navigating High Net Worth Divorce with Patrick Kilbane
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the complexities of high net worth divorce with special guest Patrick Kilbane. As a wealth advisor and former family law attorney, Pat brings unique insights on how to think about your money before, during, and after divorce, especially if you fall into the high net worth category.
Seth and Pete explore key financial considerations in high net worth divorces, such as dividing complex assets, understanding tax implications, and planning for your long-term financial future. Patrick shares his expertise on helping clients make informed decisions that align with their goals, even during the emotionally challenging process of divorce.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How do you think about money during and after a high net worth divorce?What are common financial blind spots for high net worth individuals going through divorce?How can a wealth advisor help navigate the complexities of high net worth divorce?Key Takeaways:
It's crucial to understand the long-term financial implications of divorce settlement decisions.Working with a wealth advisor can empower you to make informed choices about your future.Dividing assets in a high net worth divorce requires careful consideration of tax consequences.This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing a high net worth divorce and looking to make smart financial decisions. Seth, Pete, and Patrick offer valuable insights and practical advice to help you navigate this challenging process and set yourself up for long-term financial success.
Links & Notes
Patrick’s book Move Forward ConfidentlyVisit Patrick on the web or LinkedInSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:26) - Meet Patrick Kilbane(02:02) - Patrick’s Background(04:45) - How to Think About Money(10:47) - What Usually Happens in High Net Worth Cases(11:39) - Sophistication Gap(16:38) - Leeway in Framing Items in Affidavit(21:04) - Common Questions(32:12) - First Things to Do(39:20) - Long Term Incentive Plans(42:16) - Patrick’s Book and Contact Info(45:11) - Wrap Up -
Communicating with a New Partner After Divorce
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete explore how to effectively communicate with new partners after divorce. They're joined by Dr. Etel Leit, a human communication researcher, prominent figure in psychology and education, and founder of Sign Shine, a family center in Beverly Hills. The conversation focuses on breaking old patterns and learning to relate to new partners, especially when communication issues contributed to the end of a marriage.
Seth, Pete, and Dr. Leit dive into the importance of self-reflection and awareness before entering a new relationship. They discuss the fantasy of a perfect future partner and the need to address what went wrong in the previous marriage first. Dr. Leit introduces her concept of the "3 Vs" crucial for a successful relationship: Vibe, Values, and Vision. She explains each in detail, offering valuable insights into how these elements contribute to a strong partnership. Additionally, Dr. Leit shares the "3 As" essential for effective communication: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I avoid repeating negative patterns in a new relationship?What are the key factors for a strong, lasting partnership?How do I know if I'm ready to date again after divorce?Key Takeaways:
Self-reflection and awareness are essential before entering a new relationshipShared values and vision are crucial for a successful partnershipEffective communication, built on awareness, acceptance, and action, is vitalThis episode is packed with practical advice and thought-provoking ideas to help you navigate the world of dating and relationships post-divorce. Whether you're considering a new partnership or already in one, Seth, Pete, and Dr. Leit's insights will give you the tools to build a stronger, healthier relationship.
Links & Notes
Find Dr. Leit on the web here or here, Instagram, or LinkedInSee Dr. Leit’s books onBarnes & Noble or AmazonSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(02:07) - Meet Dr. Etel Leit(03:31) - Old Patterns of Communication(05:52) - Clean Your Water(06:49) - Shifting Mindset Post-Divorce(11:22) - Three Vs: Vibe, Values, Vision(22:45) - Choosing the Same Type(24:40) - New Relationships(31:41) - Three As: Awareness, Acceptance, Action(38:12) - Finding Dr. Leit(40:27) - Listener QuestionEstablishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.
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Parenting Across Dimensions with Tim McCarthy
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete explore the topic of parenting and how to be a better parent before, during, and after divorce. They are joined by special guest Tim McCarthy, educator, writer, and grand master in the martial arts. Tim's unique perspective on integrating Eastern philosophy into Western approaches to parenting provides a fresh take on the parent-child relationship.
Seth, Pete, and Tim dive deep into the concept of four-dimensional thinking and how it applies to parenting. They discuss the importance of being present as a parent and engaging with your children across the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. The conversation touches on practical ways to connect with your kids, from shared physical activities to fostering curiosity and problem-solving skills.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I be a better parent during and after divorce?What are some practical ways to connect with my kids?How do I help my children process the emotions of divorce?Key Takeaways:
Being present is the most important thing you can do as a parentEngage with your children across physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensionsFoster curiosity and problem-solving skills in your kidsSeth and Pete also explore the emotional challenges children face during divorce and how parents can support them. They discuss the importance of not leaning on children emotionally and maintaining positive co-parenting communication.
This episode is packed with insights and practical tips for parents navigating the challenges of divorce. Whether you're currently going through a divorce or simply looking to strengthen your relationship with your children, this conversation with Tim McCarthy offers valuable wisdom and actionable strategies.
Links & Notes
Find Tim on his site!Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(02:07) - Meet Tim McCarthy(03:28) - Parenting Across 4 Dimensions(06:59) - Divorce at the Expense of the Kids(08:56) - Physical Dimension(13:18) - Mental Dimension(17:02) - Emotional Dimension(20:46) - Spiritual Dimension(22:06) - Ages and Manipulation(24:48) - Communication(26:13) - Teaching Kids to Care(28:05) - Returning to Spiritual(32:07) - Compartmentalizing to Find Your Blind Spots(33:53) - Finding Tim(34:40) - Listener QuestionEstablishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.
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Reuniting with Your Alienated Child
In this powerful episode, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive deep into the heart-wrenching topic of parental alienation with guest Ginger Gentile, an activist on a mission to reverse this silent epidemic. Ginger shares her personal journey as a child caught in the middle of a bitter divorce and how it led her to create the eye-opening documentary "Erasing Family". Seth and Pete explore the complexities of parental alienation, its devastating impact on families, and strategies for reunification.
Ginger provides valuable insights into the manipulation tactics used in parental alienation, the challenges faced by alienated parents, and the long-term effects on children's mental health. The conversation highlights the importance of perseverance, unconditional love, and seeking the right support when navigating this difficult situation.
Questions we answer in this episode:
What is parental alienation and how does it manifest?How can alienated parents effectively respond and maintain connection with their children?What are the long-term impacts of parental alienation on children's mental health and relationships?Key Takeaways:
Parental alienation is a form of emotional abuse that can have lasting effects on children.Alienated parents must prioritize self-care and seek support to effectively navigate the challenges.Consistent, unconditional love and perseverance are crucial for reunification with alienated children.Whether you are personally affected by parental alienation or simply want to better understand this complex issue, this episode offers valuable insights, strategies, and hope for families struggling to reconnect. Seth and Pete's compassionate approach, combined with Ginger's expertise and powerful storytelling, make this a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of divorce and co-parenting.
Plus, we tackle another listener question!
Links & Notes
ReversingParentalAlienation.com ErasingFamily.org Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(02:06) - Meet Ginger Gentile(02:57) - Parental Alienation(03:33) - Her Films and Backstory(08:53) - Universal Issue(10:52) - What Is Parental Alienation?(17:16) - Mental Health Impact(20:09) - Strategy(22:50) - Therapy as a Trap(25:09) - Jurisdictionalization(26:22) - Family Court vs. Criminal Court(28:24) - Nebulous Custody Agreements(29:45) - Training(30:45) - How Do I Exert Control?(32:14) - When Kids Play the Divisions(33:36) - Alienating Teens(35:44) - You Don’t Realize It’s Happening(39:11) - Applying the Strategy, Taking Away the Stimulus(41:12) - Finding Ginger(43:08) - Listener QuestionEstablishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.
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Content warning: This episode discusses domestic abuse, murder-suicide, and child loss.
In this deeply moving episode, Seth and Pete welcome a special guest, Ali Kessler, to share her story and discuss the groundbreaking Greyson's Law. This episode was requested by a listener who wanted to hear directly from Ali about her experiences and advocacy.
Ali's four-year-old son, Greyson, was tragically killed by his father in a murder-suicide just days after Ali sought help from the courts and police due to disturbing threats made by Greyson's father. Ali has turned her grief into powerful advocacy, working tirelessly to pass Greyson's Law in Florida to better protect children at risk of harm in divorce and custody cases.
Seth, Pete, and Ali dive into the details of Greyson's Law, discussing how it aims to address the gap between the realities of domestic abuse and the family court system. They cover the challenges Ali faced in trying to protect Greyson prior to his death, and how the new law empowers judges to better consider threats and abuse directed at a parent when making custody decisions.
The conversation also delves into the complexities around identifying abuse, especially coercive control, which leaves no physical scars. Ali shares her hopes for expanded training for judges, lawyers, and law enforcement to improve understanding of domestic violence and how it impacts at-risk children.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How does Greyson's Law aim to better protect children in family court cases?What challenges do abuse survivors face in the court system?How can coercive control be identified if it leaves no physical signs?Key Takeaways:
Greyson's Law requires Florida courts to consider threats against a parent when making custody decisions if there is reason to believe the child is also at risk.Survivors of abuse often struggle to be heard and believed in family court.Expanded training on domestic violence and coercive control is needed for judges, attorneys, and police.While Greyson's Law is specific to Florida, Ali is working with advocates in other states to help change laws and potentially enact protections at the federal level.This episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to understand the real-life impacts of domestic violence in family court and how legal reform, however hard-won, aims to protect the most vulnerable. Though Ali's story is heartbreaking, her courage and tenacity in honoring Greyson's legacy through advocacy is deeply inspiring.
We encourage listeners to visit Ali's website, Greyson’s Choice, to learn more about her organization's vital work and consider donating to support their mission to protect children at risk in divorce and custody cases.
Links & Notes
Visit Greyson’s Choice and donate today!Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(02:06) - Ali Kessler and Greyson’s Law(03:30) - Who Was Greyson?(04:48) - Becoming an Advocate(06:19) - Getting the Law Off the Ground(11:06) - Reality vs. the Legal System(13:13) - Civil Matter, Not a Criminal Matter(13:52) - Emergency Pickup Orders(15:30) - Calling DCF(17:49) - Goal of Greyson’s Law(19:58) - Managing Grief as a Different Person(20:48) - Continued Training(22:06) - Coercive Control(24:22) - Judges(25:03) - Custody Rights(25:35) - Effectiveness(26:12) - Informing Judges(27:09) - Making People Aware(27:55) - Greyson’s Choice(29:50) - Wrap UpEstablishing trust with Co-Parents can be difficult when alcohol abuse is involved. Use Soberlink as an opportunity to improve co-parenting arrangements. Visit their site to learn more and get a promo code for $50 off.
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In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the world of prenuptial agreements with legendary Florida attorney Charles Jamison. They explore how prenups can help keep your divorce amicable and costs down. Charles shares his expertise on crafting the "unbreakable prenup" and provides valuable insights into navigating this complex legal territory.
Seth, Pete, and Charles discuss the essential components of a well-drafted prenup, including proper signing procedures, full financial disclosure, and fair negotiation. They emphasize how a carefully constructed agreement can protect both parties and minimize conflicts during a divorce. The conversation also touches on postnuptial agreements and how they can help alleviate financial stressors in a marriage.
Questions we answer in this episode:
• What makes a prenup "unbreakable"?
• How can a prenup help keep divorce costs down?
• When should you consider a postnuptial agreement?Key Takeaways:
• Ensure your prenup is properly signed and witnessed
• Provide full financial disclosure to protect both parties
• Negotiate fairly to create a more unassailable agreementThroughout the episode, Seth and Charles offer practical advice and relatable examples to help listeners understand the importance of prenups in modern marriages. Whether you're considering a prenup or facing a divorce, this episode provides valuable information to help you navigate the process with greater clarity and confidence.
Links & Notes
Charles on the WebCharles on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and FacebookSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:26) - Meet Charles Jamieson(01:14) - Pre-Nuptial Agreements(02:36) - The UPAA(05:13) - Dos and Don’ts(09:41) - Bifurcating the Trial(10:56) - Coercion or Duress(13:35) - Full Disclosure(19:47) - Protecting Yourself(20:49) - Post-Nups(22:44) - Has It Changed Over Time?(23:50) - Difficult Negotiation(25:56) - Valuing(29:32) - Alimony(33:37) - Minimum $ Before Needing One?(35:54) - Finding Charles(36:26) - Wrap Up -
In this listener question episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright tackle some of the most pressing issues faced by those navigating the complexities of divorce. From the potential pitfalls of divorce coaching to the challenges of running a business with your ex-spouse, Seth and Pete provide insightful guidance and practical advice to help you navigate your unique situation.
Throughout the episode, Seth and Pete delve into a wide range of topics, discussing the importance of seeking mental health support during a high-conflict divorce, the nuances of maintaining a business partnership with an ex-spouse, and the factors that can influence custody arrangements. By addressing these key themes, Seth and Pete aim to equip listeners with the knowledge and tools they need to make informed decisions and protect their interests during the divorce process.
Listener Questions we answer in this episode:
Is divorce coaching a good idea in a high-conflict case?How can couples separate their marriage but keep their business together?Can the age of a child alone justify changes in custody arrangements?What can you do if your ex refuses to accept a fair settlement offer?What are some less obvious things to include in a parenting plan?Key Takeaways:
In a high-conflict divorce, it's best to avoid divorce coaching and opt for confidential mental health counseling instead.When maintaining a business with an ex-spouse, a solid partnership agreement and transparency are essential.Age of the child alone is not typically considered a substantial change in circumstances warranting custody modifications.Whether you're considering divorce coaching, grappling with the challenges of running a business with your ex, or concerned about the impact of your child's age on custody arrangements, this episode of How to Split a Toaster offers a wealth of valuable insights. By tuning in, you'll gain a deeper understanding of the legal and emotional landscape of divorce, empowering you to make the best decisions for yourself and your family during this challenging time.
Links & Notes
Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:27) - Listener Questions!(01:08) - Question One: Divorce Coaching?(05:14) - Question Two: Separating Marriage, Not the Business(11:05) - Question Three: Child’s Age a Substantial Change for Child Custody?(12:57) - Question Four: Weaponizing Emergency Motions(18:00) - Question Five: Asset Division(23:26) - Question Six: Parenting Plan Parts(30:00) - Wrap Up -
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright dive into the crucial topic of preparing for a deposition in your divorce case. Seth, our seasoned divorce attorney, guides Pete through a mock deposition, providing invaluable insights and strategies to help you navigate this challenging process with confidence.
Throughout the episode, Seth and Pete engage in a lively and informative discussion, highlighting the importance of understanding the rules of a deposition and how to effectively respond to questions. Seth emphasizes the need to listen carefully, answer honestly, and provide concise responses while avoiding the temptation to over-explain or become defensive. He also shares real-life examples that demonstrate how seemingly simple questions can potentially trip you up if you're not properly prepared.
Questions we answer in this episode:
• What are the key rules to follow during a deposition?
• How can I prepare myself mentally for a deposition?
• What are some common mistakes to avoid when being deposed?Key Takeaways:
• Listen carefully to each question and only answer what is asked
• Keep your responses concise and honest
• Trust your attorney to defend your case and tell your storyBy the end of this episode, listeners will have a clearer understanding of what to expect during a deposition and how to approach this critical aspect of their divorce case. Seth's expertise and Pete's relatable perspective combine to create an engaging and informative listening experience that will leave you feeling more empowered and prepared to face the challenges ahead. Whether you're in the midst of a divorce or simply seeking to educate yourself, this episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complex world of divorce law.
Links & Notes
Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:26) - Preparing for Your Deposition(02:39) - Rules of a Deposition(03:47) - Time to Practice(10:26) - Make Them Do Their Job(11:24) - Don't Get Defensive(19:21) - It’s Not Your Job(19:58) - Question-Answer-Question-Answer(21:49) - Only Answer What Was Asked(23:19) - Watch Out for Exaggerated Language(25:05) - Prep to Avoid Getting Flustered(26:30) - Time Needed(27:33) - Don't Guess(30:21) - Love Should Be Apparent(33:13) - Hearsay vs. Describing Something(36:44) - Your Job Is to Answer the Question(37:42) - Take Your Time(39:09) - Use Your Child’s Name(39:39) - Look at the Judge(40:23) - Wrapping Up -
Navigating Divorce While Parenting: How to Put Your Kids First
Seth and Pete sit down with Heather Brooke Quick, the founder and CEO of Florida Women's Law Group, to discuss how to become a better, stronger parent during and after divorce. Heather shares her expertise on helping clients navigate co-parenting challenges and putting their children's needs first.
Seth, Pete, and Heather dive into the importance of focusing on the big picture and remembering that co-parenting is a lifelong commitment. They discuss strategies for keeping animosity in check, even when dealing with contentious issues like finances. Heather emphasizes the value of taking the high road and modeling positive behavior for your children.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I shield my kids from the negative aspects of divorce?What's the best way to communicate with my ex about parenting issues?How much should I share with my kids about the divorce process?Key Takeaways:
Always prioritize your children's well-being over conflicts with your exBe mindful of your reactions and behavior, as your children will learn from your exampleConsider therapy or counseling to help your children process their emotions during divorceThe conversation also touches on the importance balance of maintaining transparency with your children about age-appropriate aspects of the divorce, such as changes in finances or living arrangements. Seth, Pete, and Heather offer guidance on how to have these conversations without putting your children in the middle of adult issues.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of parenting during and after divorce. With Heather's expertise and Seth and Pete's relatable insights, you'll gain valuable tools for putting your children first and building a strong foundation for your post-divorce family.
Plus, we tackle a listener question – with Heather! – about when to file for divorce when pregnant.
Links & Notes
Find Heather on the web, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTubeTune in to Heather’s podcast Women Winning DivorceSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:26) - Meet Heather Quick(01:28) - Becoming a Better Parent During Divorce(02:00) - Your Role in the Discussion(04:40) - Reminding People to Love Their Kids(07:29) - Men vs. Women in Divorce(10:05) - Financial Conversations(12:39) - Divorce Transparency?(16:52) - The Line of Role Modelling(17:46) - Sunshine Law(18:40) - Resources for Kids(21:32) - Parenting During Parallel Parenting(24:15) - Behavior as Divorcing People(26:26) - End Result(30:11) - It's Not Their Fault(31:55) - Knowing When to Step Back(33:19) - Finding Heather(34:43) - Listener Question(39:21) - Wrap Up -
Apologies and Relationships: How to Say Sorry and Mean It
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the art of apologizing effectively with special guest Susan McCarthy, co-author of Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies. Together, they explore the anatomy of a sincere apology, discuss common pitfalls, and share insights on how mastering the apology can improve your relationships, especially during a divorce – and we’re not just talking about with your spouse or ex but your kids as well!
Susan, a renowned author who has written about animal behavior and humor, brings her expertise on crafting effective apologies to the conversation. Seth and Pete engage her in a thought-provoking discussion on why people struggle with apologizing, the importance of teaching children how to apologize correctly, and how a well-executed apology can make a significant difference in the divorce process.
Questions we answer in this episode:
What are the key components of a sincere apology?How can a genuine apology impact divorce proceedings?Why is it crucial to teach children the art of apologizing?Key Takeaways:
A proper apology consists of six essential steps, including expressing remorse, acknowledging the specific wrongdoing, and demonstrating an understanding of the impact.Apologies can be powerful tools in mediation and can help couples reach agreements during a divorce.Mastering the art of apologizing can lead to healthier relationships and emotional well-being.This episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to improve their communication skills and strengthen their relationships. Whether you're going through a divorce or simply want to learn how to apologize effectively, Seth, Pete, and Susan provide practical advice and real-life examples to help you navigate the complexities of saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it.
Links & Notes
SorryWatch.comGet Susan’s and Marjorie’s Book in hardback or paperbackSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster(00:26) - Meet Susan McCarthy(03:07) - Analyzing Apologies(03:30) - The 'Saving Your Pride' Problem(04:04) - Apologies in the Divorce Process(05:26) - Divorce and Apology Backstory(08:42) - Six Parts of a Good Apology(11:10) - Between Spouses(12:45) - In Mediation(14:19) - Not Making It Worse(16:41) - Getting Past Grudges(21:55) - Dissecting Apologies(24:27) - The Media Matters(27:03) - Positive Example(29:25) - Receiving an Apology(30:23) - Sorry Not Sorry(30:45) - Changes to Apologies in Modern Culture(33:29) - Apologies to Your Kids(37:30) - Over-Apologizing?(39:37) - Apologies with Gifts?(41:01) - Practicing(44:18) - Susan’s Book(45:46) - Wrap Up - Laat meer zien
