Afleveringen
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Happy Summer, y'all! It's time to head on down to those white sandy beaches and get ate by a mysterious sand-dwelling jellyfish monster! Get in the seasonal spirit with our reflections on classic sci-fi adventure, The Sand, and maybe think twice about attending those crazy beach parties with "Vegas rules."
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We just reviewed Yorgos Linthimos' recent film, Bugonia, but if you were wondering what this man's other films look like, we have some great news for you. We covered Mr. Linthimos' 2017 (failed) attempt at cinematic mastery, and we're bringing it back out of the vault for your entertainment. The Killing of a Sacred Deer is one of those movies you just can't forget, for all the wrong reasons. So if you were disappointed by how little hate we were giving Yorgos in our discussion about Bugonia, this throwback episode is for you!
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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If there is anything we are "Abel" to say with certainty after viewing this cinematic disaster, it is that The Weeknd must be stopped. Hurry Up Tomorrow is a hate crime against all human beings, and this is our official public plea to Barry Keoghan and Jenna Ortega to EXPLAIN THEMSELVES. Save yourselves the torture and let us tell you why this movie was nominated for multiple Razzies this year.
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Some surprising takes this week on what we assumed would be a hot, hot mess. A drastic improvement over our last encounter with Yorgos Lanthimos (check out Ep. 133 - The Killing of a Sacred Deer), Bugonia has made us question everything. What is real?? Is the Earth actually flat?? Who REALLY shot JFK?? Are the reptilians actually in charge of our government (honestly, preferable)?? Join us down the rabbit hole this week so you can have a little existential crisis of your own!
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You know we're always down for a shark movie, but this one wasn't exactly noteworthy. Despite some nifty CGI effects and concerted attempts to show you what it looks like when the entire Atlantic Ocean invites itself over for dinner, Thrash is missing something but we can't put our fins on it...
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The wait is over! The lost episode is here! We FINALLY get around to expressing our thoughts and feelings on The Girl in the Pool, and was it worth the wait? You tell us.
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Well, friends, we’ve done it. We’ve reached a new low. In our 200 episodes, we have never seen ANYTHING quite like this, and with any luck, we never will again. The only thing more annoying than pickleballers talking about how much they love pickleball is this absolute disaster of a motion picture. With about 5 mediocre actors carrying a tissue-thin plot, The Pickleball Exorcist wastes no time, money, or effort bothering to make this thing watchable. We can only assume it was filmed on a 1999 Kyocera VP-210 by an individual with unlimited access to Party City’s excess inventory of severed body parts, because there is no other reasonable explanation for what just happened here. After this painful experience, we may hang up our jaunty Panama hats and switch careers to become part-time exorcists/moonlighting homicide detectives because frankly, it seems like a sweet gig. Happy Pickleball Month to everyone except the morons who made this movie!
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And they all lived happily ever after! Or did they? Of course, they did. This is Bridgerton. It's the season finale, so it's time for a wedding (as long as you stick around through the credits because apparently it wasn't important enough to include in the actual episode). Araminta gets a mild scolding in private for her hideous crimes, and we're somehow supposed to be cool with that, and...what's this?? A NEW Lady Whistledown is on the scene?? Who could it be? Guess you'll have to tune in again when we cover Season 5 in two years.
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Our prediction chickens are starting to come home to roost! The NEW Lady Penwood's identity is revealed. The Queen has a change of...whatever she has instead of a heart. Benedict makes an earth-shattering discovery (all because of a NECKLACE). And somebody gets engaged! Who could it be?? Tune in to find out! Also, April 16th is International Documentary Day, so stay with us to the end to hear our solid gold rec's for jaw-dropping documentaries you have to see to believe.
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Our little Bridgerton babies are all grown up! Gregory and Hyacinth steal the show this week with their adorable wide-eyed fascination around the delicate process of wooing a partner. Neither should be seeking advice from Benedict, however, as he needed both Will Mondrich AND his brothers to beat some sense into that beautifully smooth brain of his before he could make a move regarding Sophie. And what a move it is. There's no turning back now, especially with the Queen's unwitting spy lurking outside the door...
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For the love of God, will SOMEONE please slap some sense into Benedict?! The man still cannot put two and two together to realize who Sophi is, even though he has extra time to examine her now that she is a lady's maid in the Bridgerton home (another bright idea from Benedict). If you think that's bad enough, wait until you hear his indecent proposal...
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Things are heating up a bit in episode 3 with a little carriage sex and all this scandalous talk of pinnacles! Benedict and Sophie are even getting in on the fun with some casual nudity and a stolen kiss. But none of this is without its complications as the Maid Wars escalate, plunging the entire ton into chaos. We suspect there could be a convenient vacancy for Sophie somewhere close by where she can stay until Benedict finally uses his eyeballs and realizes who she is.
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It's Episode 2, and we're pleased to announce that things are starting to cook. We get Sophie's tRaGiC bAcKsTorY, Benedict's spirited search for his mystery lady, and a side story involving the toxic friendship between Lady Danbury and the Queen. While we're happy to get the story moving along, there were a lot feelings going on this week that weren't very happily ever after. Will Benedict realize what's right in front of his stupid(handsome) face once he sobers up? Stay on our Bridgerton journey and find out with us next week!
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Off to a slooooooooooow start this season despite finally getting Dawn's favorite Bridgerton boy in the spotlight. We're crossing our fingers that things are about to start heating up because cheesy masquerade balls and knock-off fairytale plots aren't quite doing it for us. Come along with us as we ONCE AGAIN follow a rake's metamorphosis into a respectable gentleman after meeting "the right woman." (eyeroll)
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Just like so many of the men on this show, Season 5 promised A LOT and simply did not deliver. We will try to make this finale episode interesting for you all, but Emily did not make that easy for us. A botched non-proposal, a successful(?) proposal, and a deadbeat husband are our holy trinity of mindless drama this week, and we can't say that we're excited to see where Season 6 will take us after this. What we can say is that, somehow, all roads still lead to Gabriel...
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It's all business in these episodes with a side of Pride. Marcello pops up in Paris with ambitions to start his own fashion line, and he somehow finds jobs for all of our main characters, which is going to make for pretty strange bedfellows. Mindy meddles in Emily's relationship with Marcello, Sylvie finds herself in a friendship faux pas, and does Julien finally have a love interest?? Now we love to see a Paris Pride parade, but here's your warning to shield your eyes from Emily's hideous wig.
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Ah, there's no place like home! While we are thrilled to be back in Paris, Emily is somewhat less enthusiastic given that her job has basically whittled down to controlling Antoine's ridiculous temper tantrums AND she finally discovers that all of her friends and colleagues have been lying to her about Mindy and Alfie's budding relationship. But one night of fireworks and Funions with fellow ex-pat Jake helps her realize that friendship conquers all (at least until she realizes she has a crush on him and the cycle begins again because if there's one thing we can count on from this show, it's zero character development).
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In the wise, immortal and paraphrased words of Julien, Rome wasn't built in a day but it took Emily basically that long to destroy it. Although, to be fair, she had some help. Luc and his casual womanizing ways sink the Bavazza account, and newcomer Princess Gianna puts Solitano a little too much on the map and, with an assist from "precious genius" Giancarlo, ruins the company's future with Muratori. Marcello finally reveals HIS true colors (they are not nice), and with all this going on, we could not agree more that it is time to beat a hasty retreat to Paris before Genevieve manages to set what's left of the office on fire.
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We're back! We could never leave you, our precious listeners, to go through the trauma of a fifth season of Emily in Paris alone, so we have ended our hiatus and begun our glorious return to the airwaves to help you process this garbage. We are off to a bit of a slow start here in Season 5 with mostly recycled plotlines and yawn-worthy relationship drama, but we do see some storm clouds on the horizon (looking at you, Genevieve) so stick with us and we can weather it all together!
Thank you for your patience over the past year! While we do hate Emily, we love doing this podcast for you all, and we are so glad to be back.
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You've heard us talk about it hundreds of times across our nearly 200 episodes. We have yet to find a movie that can top it. We've begged you to go back and listen to this episode, and now it's at the top of your feed so you have no excuse. IT'S KILLER SOFA! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll cry from laughing! If you love everything our podcast stands for, you will love this movie and this episode. It brings us great joy to share it with you all again.
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