Afleveringen
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This episode is going all in on a spicy topic. Thatâs right, weâre talking about sleep. Or for some of you ADHDers, lack of sleep.
Do we know it helps us live a healthy life? Of course. But the practicality of getting ourselves to bed at a reasonable time is so hard.
Before we can figure out HOW to improve our sleep though, we need to understand WHY sleep is hard for us. Trouble sleeping isnât a symptom of ADHD, but the symptoms of ADHD (impulsivity, hyperactivity, time blindness, etc.) make it hard for us to wind down, relax, and sleep. For me, overworking led me to years of struggling to sleep. My nervous system was wired, like constantly. Of course, it affected my sleep.
When I taught on the subject of sleeping in my group coaching program FOCUSED last week, I heard from several members who resonated heavily with this topic. So, I decided to share that class on the podcast for those of you with the same challenges. I want you to feel seen, heard, and validated.
Whether you find yourself up late because youâre trying to cross things off your to-do list or those precious few hours at the end of the day are the only alone time you get, this episode is for you. Iâm sharing exactly what you need to improve your sleep once and for all.
If you find this podcast episode helpful and want to receive more coaching like this, check out FOCUSED. This program is perfect for you if you keep trying to conquer your ADHD symptoms but canât quite figure it out, and you know youâre ready for some help.
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What if you could change your life in 7 minutes? Iâm here to tell you itâs possible. In fact, Iâm doing it myself. Itâs called The 7-Minute Principle, and itâs the idea you can do anything for 7 minutes.
What would your email inbox look like if you spent 7 minutes cleaning it up?What would your laundry situation look like if you spent 7 minutes folding clothes?What would your morning routine look like if you spent 7 minutes getting ready?
Hereâs an example. A former student of mine had drama around doing the dishes. For years and years, she HATED doing them.
One day, she decided to time herself. It took her 7 minutes. All of the drama dropped immediately because - letâs be honest, you can do anything for 7 minutes and itâs not that bad. Now apply this to other areas of your life.In this episode, you'll learn the ins and outs of this simple but life-changing hack.
Try applying this principle to your life for one week and see what changes you experience. Itâs a small change that can make a huge impact.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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They are baaaaaaack! Everyoneâs favorite psychotherapists, Helen Villiers, and Katie McKenna, are back to finish the conversation on emotionally abusive behaviors they see in parent-child relationships.
Are curious about what narcissistic behavior looks like.Find yourself repeating cycles you experienced in childhood.Have yet to recognize where your ADHD stems from.Want strategies for healing.
They quite literally wrote the book on this topic. These two brilliant ladies co-authored You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal.
In this podcast episode, weâre diving even deeper into the impact of narcissistic parents and the role past trauma can have on your ADHD. This episode is for you if you:You can listen to part one of this episode here. And be sure to check out their podcast called In Sight: Exposing Narcissism.
If youâre ready to learn more about traumaâs impact on your past and current behaviors, I invite you to join my group coaching program FOCUSED. Youâll get regular coaching calls and a supportive community with all the tools needed to thrive with ADHD.
Hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Weâve had some truly amazing guests on the podcast lately, and our most recent guest is no exception.
Dr. Layne Norton is an evidence-based nutrition coach and self-proclaimed 'nerd who lifts heavy things.' He has a Ph.D. in Nutritional Sciences, 4 USA Power Lifting National Titles, and 1700 clients in his coaching program.
His resume is stacked, to say the least. But being diagnosed with ADHD at age 6, Layne has had to overcome some serious challenges both in his personal and professional life.
With more than 1 million followers on social media, itâs no secret that Layneâs story has resonated with a lot of people.
Heâs sharing the ways he copes with his diagnosis and how heâs used what heâs learned over the years to create a crazy successful business and beautiful home life.
Be sure to follow Layne on Instagram. You can learn more about his coaching services by visiting his website.
Be sure to hang out with me on Instagram HERE. -
You might remember psychotherapists Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna from episode 200 where we talked about toxic relationships and their impact on ADHDers. You may also know their podcast called In Sight: Exposing Narcissism.
Well, since we last visited, theyâre ALSO co-authors of You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal.
Iâm honored to have these two incredible ladies back on the podcast to discuss some of the emotionally abusive behaviors they commonly see from parent to child. Even if you believe you had a very normal childhood and your parents were wonderful people, Iâd urge to to listen to this episode.
A lot of the tendencies your parents mightâve had (or have now) may be your normal, but that doesnât mean thereâs not some generational trauma at play.
Note: This is not me saying your parents arenât wonderful people; they very well may be! But recognizing some of these tendencies can be PIVOTAL to unpacking and working through your ADHD â and they can help you avoid repeating the same behaviors.
So, without further adieu, I re-welcome, Helen and Katie!
Does this episode resonate with you? I invite you to join my group coaching program FOCUSED. This program is for you if youâre interested in regular coaching calls and a supportive community with all the tools needed to thrive with ADHD.
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Iâve been married to Greg Carder for almost 20 years years. This man is the only one for me! But when I tell you we couldnât be more different...
He's calm, steady, and methodical, and he doesn't mind mundane tasks like laundry. I mean, COME ON!
Through a lot of trial and error combined with years of ADHD research on my end, weâve learned a thing or two about how to be a good partner. More specifically â how to be a good partner to someone whoâs neurotypical when you have ADHD.
Iâve coached a lot of FOCUSED members on their relationships, and I see the same struggle: Either theyâre not taking their ADHD seriously and getting treated or their partner isnât taking it seriously and is dismissing their needs. Both ways create major issues in any ADHD relationship.
Hear me when I say that to be a good partner, you have to get treated for your ADHD. You need to take responsibility for your mental health condition. This part isn't optional.
Because if youâre not taking your diagnosis seriously, you canât expect your partner to either.
In this episode of the I Have ADHD Podcast, weâre taking a deep dive into how to be a good partner when you have ADHD. Iâm breaking this down into 10 simple steps that you can analyze and apply to your relationship.
These steps work for marriages, friendships, family, and business relationships. This episode has something for everyone whoâs in a relationship. Period.
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Every once in a while, I struggle to know what to do for a podcast. This was one of those episodes.
So, I decided to take questions posted in the FOCUSED Slack by our community members and answer them publicly. And you know what? This ended up being so much fun.
Because those of us with ADHD are very similar. Weâre human beings with ADHD brains. And that is a common experience that just binds us together.
So, I know reading these questions and answering them will be helpful for you.
Weâre covering topics likeâŠ
What to do if you feel like medication isnât working for youHow to avoid binge eating when you struggle with ADHDHow to transition into intimacy with your partner when itâs unexpectedAll the challenges of parenting with ADHDThereâs a reason I chose the questions. I know so many of you struggle with them. So, if you resonate with any of these topics, you donât want to miss this episode.
Hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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Iâm beyond excited to share this episode with the one and only Oliver James. At 35 years old, Oliver is learning how to read for the first time.
You might have seen him on TikTok, Good Morning America, The Rachael Ray Show, or NPR, where heâs shedding light on functional illiteracy.
After being diagnosed with ADHD and OCD as a child, Oliver spent most of his life struggling to keep up both in and out of the classroom until a string of bad choices found him in prison.
On the other side, Oliver continued to struggle. His ADHD and OCD left him desperate for answers but not sure where to turn â until he decided to teach himself how to read in 2020. Oliver captured the raw journey on TikTok, where he ended up going viral.
Over the past four years, Oliverâs story has inspired millions. Heâs now using his powers for good as a public speaker and advocate for adult literacy. I truly cannot wait for you to hear his story.
You can follow Oliver on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.
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I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in college. While Iâd like to think that was like 5 years ago, it was actually a lot longer. It was much harder to get a diagnosis back then.
Weâve got more access to info than weâve ever had. People are more willing to share their experiences with ADHD, which is helping lessen the stigma around mental health.The medical field is finally catching up with science. It wasnât until the '90s that doctors realized most children do NOT grow out of ADHD. Adults are finally getting diagnosed!Weâre living in a highly digital world, which means weâre now able to get assessed and treated online. This is huge.
In fact, the ADHD diagnosis process was different 5 years ago when I started my podcast.
Itâs 2024 now, and Iâm thrilled to say itâs easier than ever before for adults to get an ADHD diagnosis. This isnât me saying itâs easier to FOOL clinicians into falsely diagnosing you. I mean itâs easier for people who have ADHD to get an accurate diagnosis. How so?So, how do you go about getting diagnosed with ADHD? In this podcast episode, Iâm sharing the 3 steps you need to take if youâre ready for a formal assessment, including links for an online diagnosis.
PS - if you know somebody who suspects they have ADHD but hasnât gotten a diagnosis or been evaluated for it, send them this podcast episode to help them gain some clarity.
Shownotes links:
The ASRS-5 assessmentOnline ADHD resources for the US
Done
Circle Medical
ADHD OnlineOnline ADHD resources for Canada
Frida
Centre for ADHD Awareness, CanadaFind a clinician who can help you across state lines
Psypact mapHang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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The I Have ADHD Podcast is a clear, concise, and FUN podcast for adults with ADHD. Host Kristen Carder is an ADHD expert who has been supporting ADHDers for over a decade. Kristen began working with ADHD students in 2012 and transitioned to mindset coaching for ADHD adults in 2019. Let's just say she entered the ADHD field long before it was a trending topic on TikTok. Join Kristen to learn about how ADHD impacts every area of your life...from the boardroom to the bedroom...and how you can begin to overcome your symptoms by accepting who you are, flaws and all. This podcast is a mix of solo shows + interviews with the authors of all the dusty ADHD books sitting on your shelf: Dr. Barkley, Dr. Hallowell, Dr. Quinn, Dr. Ramsay, Sari Solden, Dr. Tuckman, and more! Binge-listen from the beginning, or start with the latest episode. Either way, it won't be waste of your time. Whether you're officially diagnosed, self-diagnosed, or just curious about ADHD, you're going to love this podcast...guaranteed or your money back! Disclaimer: Kristen would like you to know that she's a very different person now from the woman who dropped the first 75 episodes of this podcast. Her values have changed. Her tone of voice has changed. She's much more empathetic and trauma-informed NOW than she was 4+ years ago. ****OBVIOUSLY the content in this podcast is not meant to be a substitute for medical advice. Kristen Carder is not a medical professional.
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This week, I blew up at my son. At the time, I felt justified (donât cross mamaâs boundaries) but the more I sat with the situation, I knew I was in the wrong.
The whole thing made me feel ick and got me thinking about the âright wayâ to apologize.
Note: These are tips for apologizing in a perfect world. If youâre activated, feeling defensive, or in self-judgment mode, itâs going to be way harder to put these into action.
Hereâs the thing: Being human is hard. We all want safe, connected relationships. But every relationship in our lives will rupture at some point.
Fortunately, it is possible to repair even when we're in the wrong.
Because at the end of the day, apologies arenât enough. (I know, if you grew up in a home where âsorryâ was used as a power play to silence you, this is probably shocking.)
But being sorry doesn't fix everything. đ đ»ââïž We need to do the work of repair, and people need time before they can recalibrate and trust us again. Thatâs NORMAL.
In this episode on How to Apologize, Iâm sharing 3 steps you need to take the next time you apologize - plus what you need to do to repair the relationship and make sure you donât make the same mistake again.
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Iâve got something incredible to share with you. As an adult, you donât have to do anything you donât want to do. Did you know this?! Pause. Breathe. Let that soak in.
Many of us grew up in situations where we didnât feel we had autonomy or the right to self-govern. We didnât feel like we were in charge of our lives. So, in adulthood, we struggle to recognize that we have control over what we say yes and no to.
Why is this a problem? Because, as adult ADHDers, it takes us so much mental and emotional energy to do things we donât want to do.
So, you stay stuck in a job you donât like doing tasks you donât enjoy. You feel burnt out. You spend your weekends unable to do things around the house because youâre exhausted.
Iâll let you in on my little secret. I give myself an 'out' for everything.
I tell myself I donât have to do anything. It takes away any obligation and resentment so my brain can truly determine if itâs something I want to choose to do.
Next time you are resisting and dreading a task and procrastination keeps nagging at you, ask yourself that question. Challenge yourself to consider what will happen if you donât do it. Is that what you really want?
Hang out with me on Instagram HERE
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If youâve ever wanted a look inside the brain of Kristen Carder, this episode is for you. Buckle up, itâs going to be a bumpy ride.
The actual meltdown I had after a crazy successful FOCUSED launch last monthWhy success is scarier for us ADHDers than failure. See point #1.The struggle happening in my mind after working for years to stop overcommittingWhether Iâll actually commit to going to yoga classes this year⊠tbdAll the things I learned from Dry January and the takeaway that surprised me most
Maybe itâs the fact that Iâve been sick or that Iâve just got things I want to say that donât fit into a topic weâve covered on the podcast lately⊠but this episode is going to be me dumping the contents of my brain for all to see (orâŠhear?!).
So, find a comfy spot on the couch, grab your beverage of choice, and letâs chat!
In this episode, Iâm sharing aboutâŠHow itâs so dang *hard* to be human.This episode is no-holds-barred. If you like a structured podcast episode, you may want to check out one of the other 249 I Have ADHD Podcast episodes.
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If youâve ever wanted a sneak peek at what happens inside FOCUSED, this podcast episode is for you.
I recently added a new course to my group coaching program called How to Build Self-Trust Even with ADHD. Itâs been so impactful I had to share a coaching call we had on the topic.
Self-trust is hard for those of us with ADHD. If you feel alone, I encourage you to listen to this coaching call. It will help you understand yourself better.
Whether you grew up with parents who interrupted your ability to build self-trust or society slowly eroded it, you need to change that inner voice/critic. Building self-trust is about changing how you talk to yourself.
Itâs time to stop saying youâre too much or not enough. Stop listening to the flippant comments from people who donât build you up.
On this call, youâll learn how to become your own (overly protective) bestie who doesnât listen to that voice in your head.
Watching others get coached is so powerful. When you listen, ask yourself how you can identify with these stories. Take the questions I ask on the call. How can you apply them to your own life?
I dare you not to get goosebumps listening to some of these stories!
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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On the latest podcast episode, I had the absolute honor of talking with my business and life coach, Breian Elliott, about the topic of saying sorry.
Weâre digging DEEP into why we feel the need to apologize so much when we should be saying sorry, and why itâs detrimental to constantly be in sorry mode.
Spoiler alert: When youâre apologizing and havenât done anything wrong, youâre actually putting the other person in an uncomfortable position.
Brienâs breaking down the 6 different types of âsorryâ we use most often, including the ânegative self-image sorryâ where we apologize because weâre seeking reassurance.
If you find yourself apologizing for every little thing, this episode will be a game-changer. I know I learned a lot recording it.
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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We get to enjoy the delicious Jen Kirkman on another episode of the podcast!
The TV writer, comedian, New York Times best-selling author, podcaster, and FOCUSED member shared part 1 of her ADHD story.
Jenâs story of misdiagnosis, navigating a career in the public eye, and figuring out how to use her diagnosis to help other people inspired so many of you.
In part 2, we get to learnâŠ
How Jen found ADHD coaching (spoiler: it was listening to this very podcast)The different ways she uses talk therapy and coaching Her daily morning routine she calls "Bedquarters"How she was able to step away from burnout and into a life she lovesWhat her career plans are for 2024 and beyondFor being the *most* famous person in my group coaching program, Jen is incredibly relatable. You can use the tools and routines sheâs incorporated into her daily life to set yourself up for success in living a life with ADHD.
Jen is encouraging, entertaining, and educational. I canât recommend part 2 of my interview with Jen Kirkman enough.
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE. -
Today's episode is part 1 of a 2-part interview with my dear client, Jen Kirkman. Jen is currently a writer/producer on the one-hour comedy Etoile for Amazon Prime. She was a writer/producer on 4 seasons of the The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime). Jen hosts a weekly solo podcast, "You Are A Lot" (An ADHD Podcast) - which is about navigating life with ADHD. Jen is a New York Times Bestselling author of two books. She has toured the world as a stand-up comedian and has two critically acclaimed stand-up specials on Netflix. You're going to LOVE this conversation - enjoy!
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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How long is your to-do list right now? If youâre like most ADHDers, youâve got a laundry list of things that youâve been carrying around for years now â and itâs anchoring you down.
Itâs time to stop holding this never-ending to-do list over your head and feeling guilty about not accomplishing the things on it. This isnât serving you.
I want to help you remove this unnecessary pressure from your life. In this podcast episode, weâre walking through how to let go of that anchor weight so you can quit being hard on yourself and create realistic expectations about what you truly want to get done.
This is an interactive episode, so Iâd love for you to grab a pen and some paper. Youâll walk away with a clear vision of:
What you can let go from your list
Whatâs on your list because someone else wants you to do itWhatâs *actually* important to youHow to set boundaries so you can get more doneWhatâs truly worthy of your to-do listStop trying to do all the things. Weâre here to love and support ourselves with the expectations we set. If youâre ready to burn your to-do list, this episode will help you focus your attention on whatâs really important.
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When it comes to ADHD, there are a lot of myths out there. For instance, you may have heard (or believed) that ADHD is an excuse. I canât tell you how often I see clients worry that theyâre using it as an excuse while working to set their lives up for success.
Look: ADHD is NOT an excuse. Itâs an explanation. Itâs an explanation of why certain things are hard for you, why your memory sucks, why youâre terrible with time management, why you have exposed emotions.
Other myths like ADHD is overly diagnosed, ADHD medication is dangerous or addictive, and everyone has a little ADHD are common. Theyâve created beliefs around the disorder that just arenât true.
As a person with ADHD, itâs your job to be educated in the diagnosis so that you understand what youâre dealing with. This also allows you to teach those around you how they can best support you and your relationship.
Because hereâs the thing: Just because there's more access to information and people are being diagnosed more readily, it does not mean that thereâs an overdiagnosis of ADHD.
And no, ADHD medication is *not* addictive. In fact, when used correctly, it can actually help lower the risk of addiction.
Oh, and just because someone struggles with some of the symptoms common to ADHD doesnât mean that they have the disorder. That diagnosis is reserved for those who experience symptoms to a debilitating degree.
So, if youâre ready to further educate yourself on what it means to have ADHD so you can speak the truth and bust myths when they come up, episode 241 of the I Have ADHD Podcast is for you.
For more education and support around your ADHD, I highly encourage you to check out my group coaching program, FOCUSED. Starting in January, youâll have access to my brand new course called âHow to Build Self-Trust (Even When You Have ADHD).â If youâre curious about what 2024 would look like if you finally trusted yourself, click here to learn more.
Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.
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As we look to a new year, most of us start to think about what we want to do over the next 365 days. What do we want to change from 2023?
Iâve evolved a lot in my approach to goal planning over the past year. So I wanted to share a class I just taught in my group coaching program for this podcast episode because I think it will be validating for a lot of you as you look ahead.
This is not a shame fest for the things you didnât get done in 2023. And itâs not a hype fest for hustle as we move into 2024. Itâs a very ADHD-friendly class.
As ADHDers, we tend to shame ourselves for what we haven't been able to do. We often feel defeated before we even get started on a plan for a new year. But hear me out: maybe itâs okay for us to just live in reality, accept who we are, and make our plan based on where we are today We can create our vision around a kind, compassionate way of interacting with ourselves.
If youâre ready to take a look back at 2023 and figure out what worked and what didnât work, I highly encourage you to listen to this episode. Adults with ADHD tend to struggle with self-reflection, so this can be challenging if youâre not doing it correctly.
We also struggle with prioritization and organization. So, my approach to goal setting can be a great aid for you as you envision what you want the next year to look like. Iâm handing you some questions to ask yourself based on your capacity, your current level of self-trust, and what you actually want to achieve in 2024.
Before you sit down to write your goals or open your Notes app to jot down your vision for next year, I want you to think about who you want to be and what you want out of next year â then break down the domino effect of what needs to happen first.
I promise you that this class will help you feel empowered and not overwhelmed as we transition into a fresh calendar year. Itâs a small time investment that can have some impactful results for you in 2024.
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