Afleveringen
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"I'm okay as long as you're okay with me": If our wellbeing is dependent upon another person, their opinion of us, or external validation, we are other-esteeming (looking for security outside of ourselves). This is considered emotional dependence, and it plays a big role in love addiction.
In this episode, Jodi talks with Allen Berger, PhD, therapist and author of "12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety". Dr. Berger defines emotional dependence, explains why it happens, and what emotional sobriety can look like.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Link to Jodi's website and additional resources
Link to Dr. Berger's website and his book 12 Insights for Emotional Sobriety
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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This is a special tribute episode to the work of Pia Mellody who passed away May 7th at the age of 82. Pia was a pioneer in the field of trauma and addiction recovery; she developed a groundbreaking model of treatment, and authored several books including Facing Love Addiction and Facing Codependence.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Link to Jodi's website and additional resources
Links to Facing Codependence, Facing Love Addiction and The Intimacy Factor by Pia Mellody
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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In love addiction, we may find ourselves feeling betrayed by a partner-- even if we don't know for sure that something is going on--while doubting our instincts, believing we're too sensitive, and giving an emotionally unavailable partner the benefit of the doubt. This feeling adds to our anxiety, and whatever information a partner is withholding adds to the dysfunction of the relationship...and we stay in the cycle of love addiction hoping things will change.
In this episode Jodi talks with betrayal trauma therapist, Lindsay Haverslew, about the reality of betrayal trauma. Jodi and Lindsay share personal experiences with betrayal, and discuss signs that a partner is emotionally unavailable, tips for identifying a trustworthy person, and much more.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Link to Jodi's website and additional resources
Lindsay's website and instagram
Lindsay mentioned the work of Jennifer Freyd and Dr. Kevin Skinner and the book Unleashing Your Power
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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Music has the power to shape moods and moments; but do you ever wonder what shaped the music? Or what someone had to experience in order to bring one of your favorite songs or albums into the world?
In this episode, Jodi talks with singer-songwriter, Kelly Willis. Jodi shares the personal significance of Kelly's album, 'What I Deserve' and how it provided hope during a particularly painful time in her life; and Kelly discusses how her childhood as an army brat, growing up without her mother, and early disappointments in the music industry shaped that album.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Link to Jodi's website and additional resources
Read Army Brat by Kelly Willis (and subscribe to her Substack)
Link to Kelly's website
Listen to What I Deserve by Kelly Willis
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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What does it mean to be "good"? Unfortunately, for women, being seen as "good" often requires conforming and playing along vs standing up for one's values or against wrongdoing--if you've seen the movie Wicked, you know how this story goes.
In this episode, Jodi begins the process of imperfectly unpacking what she's learned throughout nearly a decade of recovery (and 55 years of life): the insidious power of cultural messages; why being seen as a "good girl" can feel so important, but keeps us stuck; and how all of this prevents us from speaking up, being real, and getting to know our true strength.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Link to Jodi's website and additional resources
Read Jodi's blog
Jodi mentioned the book Ready to Heal by Kelly McDaniel
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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Emotional dysregulation, compulsive behavior and obsessive thoughts: if you've struggled with love addiction, all of this might sound very familiar...but these are also symptoms of ADHD. Is there a connection?
In this episode, Jodi talks with Aly Dearborn, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist with specialized training in recognizing female presentations of ADHD and Austism. Aly and Jodi discuss the shared symptoms of love addiction, ADHD and Autism; the estrogen connection and why girls and women are often misdiagnosed; and Aly shares her personal experience with love addiction and being an adult diagnosed ADHD/Autistic.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Link to Jodi's website and additional resources
More resources and information about Aly Dearborn can be found here
Aly mentioned the work of Bo Forbes
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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We live in a time of constant communication and short-form media, with unlimted data at our fingertips and an abundance of "experts" at the ready. While this access to information and opinions is functional at times, it can also feel overwhelming and lead to dysregulation, regression and dysfunctional behavior. So how do we handle this?
In this episode, Jodi discusses the the importance of discernment and the power of pausing; why the symptoms of codependence and love addiction lead to undervaluing our instincts while overvaluing the opinions of others; and how pausing can reveal the most useful information of all.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Link to Jodi's website and additional resources
Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody
Here's a very handy feelings wheel @ feelingswheel.com
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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Love addiction is more than 'just' love addiction: It's a set of symptoms rooted in codependence, and fed by cutural messages that lead girls and women to believe they are unworthy, unwell, unlovable--and all of this starts early in life.
Anna Christie's story is an incredible example of the influence those messages can have on us. As she explains in this episode, Anna knew at a young age that she was queer; but through feedback from her environment, she learned this wasn't acceptable, and spent years of her life conforming. Anna's powerful story is an example of the distances we'll travel in search of the belonging we crave, as well as proof that we can find ourselves again.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website and link to the JOLA Network (online recovery community) and Fall 2024 Mother Hunger online group.
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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When an addictive relationship ends, we can find ourselves feeling wobbly, uncertain and very vulnerable. We might seek therapy, or the help of a support group, or even guidance from someone who SAYS they have the solution to our problem and can make the pain go away.
In this episode, Jodi and her friend Brooke share stories of seeking comfort from psychics, and why we might look for guidance in such places, and place so much trust in someone we don't even know.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website and link to the JOLA Network (online recovery community) and Fall 2024 Mother Hunger online group.
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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We often think of recovery as something we start, and then everything gets better. But everyone's path to recovery is unique, and truth is that once we do get started, things might actually get harder before they get easier.
In this epsiode, Jodi talks with another therapist in recovery, Heidi Kingston, regarding her personal experience with love addiction, the ups and downs of her own recovery journey, and what she's learned along the way.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website and link to the JOLA Network (online recovery community)
Heidi's website
Pia Mellody books referenced: Facing Love Addiction and Breaking Free
The Meadows workshop referenced: Survivors
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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Fantasy plays a big part in the cycle of love addiction; and for many of us, using fantasy to escape discomfort starts early in life. This, acommpanied with the idea of a prince charming or soulmate as presented to us in childhood fairy tales, has a poweful impact on how we see ourselves, and what we look for in relationships.
In this episode, Jodi talks with Heather Cronemiller, a therapist in recovery and co-author of "Going Deeper For Women: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sex & Love Addiction". Heather shares her experience with fantasy and the search for a soulmate, and what ultimately led her into recovery.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website
Heather's website
Going Deeper For Women
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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In love addiction, we have an issue with reality. In other words, we tend to ignore the data that's often right in front of us, and might even seek 'different' data elsewhere--something that could possibly soothe us, but often hurts us.
In this episode, Jodi and her friend, Brooke, discuss the concepts of pain shopping and comfort-seeking behaviors; and they share their personal experiences with both.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Link to more information about The JOLA Network (Jodi's online recovery community): https://jodiwhite.jolanetwork.com/
Jodi's website: https://www.jodiwhiteonline.com/
Additional resources (including Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody)
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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It can be easy to assume that therapists have it together in life and relationships; but when it comes to attachment--and love addiction--no one is immune. And because hearing from a therapist who 'gets it' can be very helpful for those of us in recovery, Jodi invited therapist and coach, Leah Hoffman, to the podcast to share her recent experience with the cycle of love addiction and what she's learned from it.
Show notes and resources:
Leah's website: coachingwithleah.com
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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One of the hard parts of recovery--and life--is having difficult conversations, especially those that come with a chance of discord, being seen as the 'bad guy', or simply feeling uncomfortable. When confronted with having hard conversations, it can seem 'easier' to avoid them...but also less functional, and avoiding can lead to resentment and feeling stuck.
But there's good reason for the discomfort: In this episode of the podcast, Jodi talks about this with therapist and boundaries expert Juliane (Jules) Taylor Shore and about her new book, "Setting Boundaries That Stick" (you may remember Jules from EP31, "All About Boundaries"). Jules shares six steps to setting an external boundary, as well as the importance of a pause and paying attention to feelings; why hard conversations are so challenging; why we struggle with self-compassion, and why growth comes with grief.
Show notes and resources:
Information about Jules Taylor Shore and her instagram.
Purchase "Setting Boundaries That Stick"
EP31: All About Boundaries with Jules Taylor Shore
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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It's hard to be still sometimes, especially in a culture that constantly tells you to get moving, to achieve, to perform--plus being still often comes with all the feelings...and feeling our feelings can be hard, too.
In this episode Jodi talks about a few of the hard parts of recovery, including difficult conversations, how she views past shameful experiences, and the reality of joy in recovery.
Show notes and resources:
Information about Emily Nagoski
The Principles of Pleasure on Netflix (trailer)
The Robcast episode referenced (#365)
Danielle Laporte
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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Love addiction comes with a set of symptoms leading to a pattern of dysfunctional relationships; whether we tend to be more anxious or more avoidant (or both), we may find ourselves in the push/pull of addictive relationships more than once. Then, after each relationship we say "I'll never do that again", fully intending to make some changes, but...
Even if we enter love addiction recovery and address the symptoms, we may still find that we're unknowingly driven by outdated message telling us who we're supposed to be and how we're supposed to live our lives. Why? Because of inherited cultural beliefs that infiltrate our decision-making.
In this episode Jodi discusses these cultural beliefs--how they fuel love addiction and can meddle with life in recovery, too. She also reviews the symptoms of codependence and love addiction, and talks about the impact that seemingly benign labels can have on kids.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com
References:
Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody; Ready to Heal by Kelly McDaniel
Album mentioned: Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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The term 'love addiction' is often referred to in the context of romantic relationships, but did you know that the symptoms can apply to platonic relationships, too?
In this episode, Jodi talks about her history with undervaluing herself in friendships and overlooking red flags in order to belong and be the "best friend". She's joined by her friend Brooke (from "A Breakup Story"), to discuss the complexity of female friendships past and present.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com
NYT article: What To Do If A Friend Ghosts You by Catherine Pearson
Books referenced: Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody and Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.
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Have you ever needed to block someone? Maybe you ended a relationship and no longer wanted to see their social media activity, or maybe you found yourself needing to have a hard boundary with a former friend. In today's world, considering that most of us are accessible on multiple platforms, it's not uncommon to block another person...BUT, that doesn't mean it's always easy to do (for a number of reasons).
Blocking is an important topic, so Jodi invited trauma therapist, Leah Aguierre--someone who talks openly about the subject on social media--to join her for a conversation. On this episode Jodi and Leah cover why we struggle with the idea of blocking, four reasons why blocking can be helpful in certain situations, and they share personal experiences with blocking.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
You can learn more about Leah here leahaguierrelcsw.com and on Instagram @leahaguirrelcsw
Jodi's website: jodiwhiteonline.com
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance. -
You may have heard about the importance of your 'why'--that thing that motivates you and provides a sense of purpose in life and work. But what if that concept was broken down even further, into three parts that took you deeper into that 'why'?
Nicole Lewis-Keeber (therapist, coach & author) has done just that, and she talks with Jodi in this episode of the podcast about The Three Whys. Jodi also shares an early experience that took her away from her Why, and a little about the process of getting back to it.
Show notes and resources:
Music by JD Pendley
Learn more about Nicole and download her book, "The Three Whys", here.
Jodi mentions this book by Stephen Cope.
Follow Jodi on Instagram @jodiwhite_
Disclaimer:
This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance. -
If you're a listener of the podcast, then you've heard Jodi talk about 'that therapist'--the one she worked with in 2016, who taught her about love addiction, supported her through withrawal, and played a vital role in her in early recovery.
That therapist is Dr. Lara Dye, a Pia Mellody-trained psychologist specializing in love & sex addiction, who also has personal experience with love addiction recovery. And, because she was such an important part of her recovery journey, Jodi invited Dr. Dye to talk with her for this episode of the podcast.
Music by JD Pendley
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