Afleveringen
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575. Mom, I Have an Idea from lara's hype eng vol. AJ.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/575
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/668
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Mom, I have an idea —
and something in me slams shut.
I already see the end of the chain:
milk on the table, milk on the wall,
wet dress, couch in dairy fingerprints,
me with a rag and forty minutes
of my not-very-relaxed schedule gone.
[Chorus]
Mom, I have an idea.
I swallow the first response.
Pack it somewhere in the back.
Leave room.
The milk is going to spill anyway.
[Verse 2]
She reads the tension — kids do that.
"Don't tell mom" means she's scared,
means she's trying.
When it goes wrong she works it herself.
When she can't she comes to me.
That's the whole thing I was teaching.
I didn't know I was teaching it.
[Chorus]
Mom, I have an idea.
I swallow the first response.
Pack it somewhere in the back.
Leave room.
The milk is going to spill anyway.
[Bridge]
This is incredibly hard for me.
I don't always manage it.
She feels the tension either way.
But thank god we are growing up together.
[Outro]
Milk on the wall.
Dress is wet.
The idea was good. -
563. Starter Kit from lara's hype eng vol. AJ.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/563
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/655
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Love them, feed them, clothe them, fix the fever —
that's the floor, that's not the ceiling, that's not enough.
Somebody's got to teach them how to read the
thing behind the thing behind the blowup.
Name the feeling without the anesthesia.
Know your limit before you blow the wall.
Say the truth without becoming meaner.
Know when silence is the better call.
[Chorus]
Starter kit.
Grab yourself by the collar — finish it.
Let it go.
Ask for help before it's critical.
Own your words.
Will it work? God only knows.
Starter kit.
[Verse 2]
Untrained adult — it's not a diagnosis,
but it's very hard on everyone nearby.
You sit with them and hold the weight and notice
they were never given tools and you don't know why.
Make decisions like you mean them.
Live inside the consequences — solo.
I'll be clumsy. I'll be trying.
Pass on what I know.
[Chorus]
Starter kit.
Grab yourself by the collar — finish it.
Let it go.
Ask for help before it's critical.
Own your words.
Will it work? God only knows.
Starter kit.
[Bridge]
Balance between push through it
and drop it
and call someone.
Not the same move every time.
That's the whole thing.
[Outro]
Starter kit.
Will it work — hell if I know.
Starter kit. -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
-
482. Delta from lara's hype eng vol. AE.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/482
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/568
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I don't do "I'll think about it tomorrow"
Anything I can think about today
I think about today
Close it down, reduce the depth to delta
Bills, logistics, bureaucratic sorrow
Every single day there's something
Sometimes I do more than needed —
By tomorrow it's already irrelevant
[Chorus]
Not on credit, not on loan
Solid ground beneath my feet
Thinking today is not anxiety
It's the long game, it's the long game
Delta for what I couldn't account for
Delta for what I couldn't account for
[Verse 2]
On one hand — you're standing ready
Something unexpected lands and the base is covered
On the other — every god-given day
You're thinking about something
Sometimes you overprepare
And it's moot by morning, out of your hands
The ultimate goal: organize it all
So you can sometimes just live
[Chorus]
Not on credit, not on loan
Solid ground beneath my feet
Thinking today is not anxiety
It's the long game, it's the long game
Delta for what I couldn't account for
Delta for what I couldn't account for
[Bridge]
No backlog growth
No tech debt compounding in the dark
Just the delta
Just the part I couldn't see
[Outro — dry]
Whether that's actually achievable
I have my doubts tho -
430. Motherhappiness from lara's hype eng vol. AA.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/430
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/546
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I'm bored, mom
Which do you like better — this thing or that thing
I do not care about either thing
Do I have water in my mouth right now
One hour after waking up:
don't want breakfast, don't want the store
don't want to brush my teeth
back to the top
[Chorus]
Motherhappiness in its glory
Closed loop, I am physically not delivering
Motherhappiness in its glory
Breath in, breath out — driving to buy the sneakers
[Verse 2]
Dear universe —
does this ever actually end
Shared interests? Compatible temperaments?
I understand she needs attention
The more she asks like this
the less I have to give
I know the mechanism
It does not help
[Chorus]
Motherhappiness in its glory
Closed loop, I am physically not delivering
Motherhappiness in its glory
Breath in, breath out — driving to buy the sneakers
[Bridge]
What I give is apparently not enough
There is no more
Sneakers purchased
Resistance and whining included -
309. Thank You, Limbo from lara's hype eng vol. T.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/309
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/411
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Year threw me into limbo at the finish line
Everything I built this year lost all its shine
No summary, no tally, just the work in progress
Unfinished and half-broken but it still moves forward
Stepfather alive — the heart held on
Aunt's roof burned down — she walked out of the smoke
My ten-year-old bull terrier survived three surgeries
Bouncing like a puppy, that's the whole report
[Chorus]
Thank you, limbo
Thank you, not quite fatal
Thank you to the straw I laid down years ago
Thank you to the hacker in my corner
Thank you to the keeper of my nest
I'll drink to having something worth reviewing
At the end of the next one
[Verse 2]
I learned to talk in a way that cools the room
Pressure drops, nobody has to leave in pieces
Move myself forward no matter what — no matter what
The body is still letting me do this
The kids are getting easier and softer
The people near me are exactly who I need
I'm not doing a year-in-review
I'm just saying hi
[Chorus]
Thank you, limbo
Thank you, not quite fatal
Thank you to the straw I laid down years ago
Thank you to the hacker in my corner
Thank you to the keeper of my nest
I'll drink to having something worth reviewing
At the end of the next one
[Outro]
Hi -
296. My Fucking Homework from lara's hype eng vol. S.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/296
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/398
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Before I pick up, I read the brief
My brain runs clean when the prep is done
Not a gate, not a test — just a belief
That a loaded mind is a loaded gun
But some people think out loud, no notes
They don't need the manual, they need a word
And I send them back to check their quotes
Like some Soviet encyclopedia nerd
[Chorus]
My fucking homework is done — I'm here
Yours isn't done — I'll wait
But spinning up someone else's gears
Sometimes that's the thing that's actually great
I'm hanging up the teacher suit, hook by the door
Not everyone needs the answer, some just need more floor
[Verse 2]
Prep time spent is not always profit
Sometimes a keyword beats a diagram
I can hold the standard — but I'm not locked in it
If I can help for free, then why make you cram
Second round of help — I don't give that
To people who show up empty twice in a row
But freestylers run a different format
They need a nudge, not a textbook, not a show
[Chorus]
My fucking homework is done — I'm here
Yours isn't done — I'll wait
But spinning up someone else's gears
Sometimes that's the thing that's actually great
I'm hanging up the teacher suit, hook by the door
Not everyone needs the answer, some just need more floor
[Bridge]
I want to remember this
Not every flywheel needs the same push
I want to remember this
Sometimes one word is enough
[Outro]
Trying to take the teacher suit off
Trying to take the teacher suit off -
237. I Don't Know from lara's hype eng vol. O.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/237
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/332
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I thought it would go away with being young
Turns out that was optimistic of me
I'm almost forty and they're everywhere
Reading books and wrong so confidently
Opinionated on every single thing
No edge to what they think they understand
No pause, no gap, no room for being wrong
Just the full conviction of a smaller man
[Chorus]
I don't know — that's not a white flag
Let me think — that's not a crack
The space before the answer is the bravest thing
Silence is what keeps me on track
I don't know
I don't know
[Verse 2]
It's easy to just talk before you've thought
It's easy not to notice when you're wrong
It's harder to stop mid-sentence and say
Actually I haven't thought about it long
What do I do to keep from becoming that
How do I hold the question without closing it
Keep the gap open, don't rush the end
Stay in the part where I don't know yet
[Chorus]
I don't know — that's not a white flag
Let me think — that's not a crack
The space before the answer is the bravest thing
Silence is what keeps me on track
I don't know
I don't know
[Bridge]
The new perpetual sexy is the blank before the answer
The new perpetual sexy is not knowing and not lying
Holding the gap open
Not becoming one of them
[Outro]
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know yet -
211. Hooray for Explicit from lara's hype eng vol. N.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/211
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/303
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Spent my whole life reading smoke signals
terrified of getting it wrong either way.
Now someone looks at me and asks a question —
actual words, out loud, in the light of day.
May I take you out? Would you like that?
Yes or no, and either one is fine.
I learned to answer. I learned to ask back
when I can't tell what's yours and what's mine.
[Chorus]
Hooray for explicit —
no symbols, no subtext, no morse code at 2 AM.
May I take you out?
Yes. No. Done.
Hooray for explicit —
calmer, clearer, warmer than before.
They talk, I listen —
that's a kind of closeness too.
[Verse 2]
Paradox: they'll monologue for ninety minutes,
never once ask how I'm doing, not one time.
But they're interesting, and I'm too tired to function,
so honestly? The format suits me fine.
Direct about wanting, deaf about asking —
still warmer than the old encrypted mess,
that cipher I spent years trying to decode
too scared to guess.
[Chorus]
Hooray for explicit —
no symbols, no subtext, no morse code at 2 AM.
May I take you out?
Yes. No. Done.
Hooray for explicit —
calmer, clearer, warmer than before.
They talk, I listen —
that's a kind of closeness too.
[Bridge]
I don't know if it's a generation thing
or just the specific people I've found.
But something shifted. Something landed.
I finally know what's happening around.
[Outro]
May I take you out?
Yes.
May I take you out?
No.
Either way — I understood the question.
Hooray. -
180. Starter Kit from lara's hype eng vol. L.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/180
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/272
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Late screen glow, you say I deserve the best
So we pull up a doc about the Linux kernel test
The Matrix, Sopranos, Brother number two
Now Tux in 1994 — that tracks for me and you
[Verse 2]
No reservation, no roses in a vase
Beer and a cat and Torvalds making his case
The chart keeps growing, you know what's good
I know I'm exactly where I should
[Chorus]
Starter kit to date a developer
City's asleep, we're watching source code lore
Not the kind of romance they had in store
Better than that — quiet, warm, and sure
Starter kit — and honestly that's more
[Bridge]
Linux 1994
Just the two of us and nothing else running
Outside is noise, in here we've got our own system
And you say: you only deserve the best
And put the documentary on
[Chorus]
Starter kit to date a developer
City's asleep, we're watching source code lore
Not the kind of romance they had in store
Better than that — quiet, warm, and sure
Starter kit — and honestly that's more -
179. White Crow from lara's hype eng vol. L.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/179
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/271
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
The shop in Amsterdam just quit the game,
No more curated Russian books, no shame.
The kid grew out of everything we stocked,
The shelf is bare, the strategy is blocked.
[Verse 2]
No mothball morals, no cannibal plots,
Just normal words and illustrations — that's what we've got.
I asked my Instagram friends at 2 AM,
They dropped a list, I'm working through it again.
[Chorus]
White Crow is flying over the city,
Pink Giraffe is standing out in the cold.
The list on the wall is a plan, not a eulogy —
Samokat, Bumkniga, someone to hold.
White Crow, Polyandria, Myth —
Somebody curated, somebody quit,
but we're still here, still lit.
[Bridge]
Strategy TBD, but the list exists —
and that's already something, write it on your wrists.
Maybe I'll update it, maybe correct —
the point is not to stop, the point is to collect.
[Chorus]
White Crow is flying over the city,
Pink Giraffe is standing out in the cold.
The list on the wall is a plan, not a eulogy —
Samokat, Bumkniga, someone to hold.
White Crow, Polyandria, Myth —
Somebody curated, somebody quit,
but we're still here, still lit.
[Outro]
Number sixteen: Pink Giraffe.
Number one: White Crow.
The kid is growing.
We keep going. -
152. The Lid from lara's hype eng vol. J.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/152
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/243
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Yogurt lid hit the floor
Dirty side down, obviously
Used to be the end of everything
Used to be a whole thing
Brain going: that's it, that's it
Every time like the first time
Every single stupid time
Every lid, every spill
[Chorus]
Oh, the lid fell
Oh, the lid fell
Not a catastrophe
Just a floor
Oh, the lid fell
I remember when it burned
Now it's just a lid
Just a lid on the floor
[Verse 2]
Anxiety didn't leave
It got quieter
The noise is still out there
But the threshold moved
Not a victory over myself
Just chemistry and time
Just a small, specific difference
That changes everything
[Chorus]
Oh, the lid fell
Oh, the lid fell
Not a catastrophe
Just a floor
Oh, the lid fell
I remember when it burned
Now it's just a lid
Just a lid on the floor
[Bridge]
Blessed to feel the difference
Blessed to feel the difference
The lid fell and nothing happened
The lid fell and I kept going
[Outro]
Oh, the lid fell
Oh, the lid fell
Just a lid
Just a floor -
147. Volens Nolens from lara's hype eng vol. J.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/147
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/238
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
She says — mama, do you know
And I hear a voice I didn't grow
Gone for two thirds of everything I've been
But she just answered through my mouth again
[Verse 2]
A child is a darkroom, not a child
She develops what you thought you'd filed
The cadence, the deflection, the small joke
All the patterns you forgot you spoke
[Chorus]
Volens nolens — I'll find out
Don't know yet but I'm about to now
Not a photograph, not a missing year
She's three-dimensional, she's here
[Bridge]
Not in the date I mark on the calendar
Not in the story I know how to tell
In the exact words I said without thinking
In the ordinary moment she fell
[Chorus]
Volens nolens — I'll find out
Don't know yet but I'm about to now
Not a photograph, not a missing year
She's three-dimensional, she's here -
144. No Elbows from lara's hype eng vol. J.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/144
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/235
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
No elbows on the table, sit up straight
Hold your fork correctly, don't be late
Take what you want but finish every bite
Don't interrupt — I hear myself recite
[Verse 2]
I drew on walls, I ran around half-dressed
In any weather, any place — no stress
But something got installed without my say:
Early twentieth century etiquette
And it plays
[Chorus]
No elbows, no elbows —
Old code running in new blood
I hate the teacher voice, I hate it most
But I hate no edges more
So I hold the post
No elbows — and check yourself:
Does the rule make sense?
Are you following it yourself?
[Bridge]
Filter the content — is this boundary real?
Filter the tone — does it sound like I feel?
An unjustified rule is the worst of the set
I'm still working this out
I'm not finished yet
[Chorus]
No elbows, no elbows —
Old code running in new blood
I hate the teacher voice, I hate it most
But I hate no edges more
So I hold the post
No elbows — and check yourself:
Does the rule make sense?
Are you following it yourself?
[Outro]
And counting
And counting
Still counting -
133. From Little Packets from lara's hype eng vol. I.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/133
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/224
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
She asked me where the cats come from.
I opened my mouth and went the wrong direction.
The words left before I had a plan —
sex ed started at two in the afternoon.
[Verse 2]
In a Georgian village, someone asked me about chickens.
I said: from little packets. And I meant it.
No one corrected me. No one gave the lecture.
The world was larger than me and kept quiet about it.
[Chorus]
We all arrive from somewhere slightly wrong.
We all answer before we know the answer.
From little packets, from nothing, from the air —
and still here. Still here.
[Bridge]
No one was standing by to read us the curriculum.
We are our own embryology.
A wrong answer is also a version.
Good enough.
[Chorus]
We all arrive from somewhere slightly wrong.
We all answer before we know the answer.
From little packets, from nothing, from the air —
and still here. Still here. -
126. Leave It on the Plate from lara's hype eng vol. H.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/126
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/215
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Five and a half years since the last time
I'm still surprised when I put down the fork.
Not willpower, not a victory lap —
Just actually full. That's a different word.
Finish every book I open, every course,
Unpack the suitcase even at 1 a.m.
"Just let me finish this and then" —
Motto of my entire adult life. Amen.
[Chorus]
Leave it on the plate.
Not because you're scared, not because you're good.
Leave it in the middle.
Not because you failed — because you understood.
Read the body in the middle of the process.
Hunger, pain, exhaustion — they were always there.
Leave it on the plate.
That's the skill. That's the skill.
[Verse 2]
Hyperfocus eats the clock, eats the signals,
Days without hunger, days without tired.
Then the elevator at half past midnight
And the anhedonia that arrives uninvited.
Learning now to stop when it's not needed,
Even when they ask, even "you really should."
Keep the going-all-the-way for things that matter.
Learn to hear the body while the hearing's good.
[Chorus]
Leave it on the plate.
Not because you're scared, not because you're good.
Leave it in the middle.
Not because you failed — because you understood.
Read the body in the middle of the process.
Hunger, pain, exhaustion — they were always there.
Leave it on the plate.
That's the skill. That's the skill.
[Outro]
Actually full.
Actually full.
Not an effort — just a fact.
Actually full. -
122. Factory Settings from lara's hype eng vol. H.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/122
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/211
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
If you want something — say it out loud
That's the baseline, that's the therapy crowd
But there's a region past all that talk
Where the defaults lined up and the system just works
[Verse 2]
Same cultural sandbox, same buried layer
You sent the subtext, I caught it, didn't need to repair it
Every message has five things inside
Most people get one — you got all five
[Chorus]
Factory settings — yours and mine
Matched somewhere quiet down the line
Not identity, more like resonance
Stability of interaction — that's the difference
[Bridge]
You can say it — that's fine
You can not say it — also fine
There's a level where neither one is needed
Just proximity — and the system holds, undefeated
[Chorus]
Factory settings — yours and mine
Matched somewhere quiet down the line
Not identity, more like resonance
Stability of interaction — that's the difference
[Outro]
Is this the thing they call identichnost'?
I don't think so
But it's the closest word I've got -
115. Estimation from lara's hype eng vol. H.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/115
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/200
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Daytime I nod, I say yeah, sounds right
Iteration, prioritization, tight
Nighttime I do it the way it should be done
Slow and deep and properly, no one watching, no one
The world keeps handing me its bullshit
Calls it part of the work, I commit
I'm not broken, I'm not behind
I'm just running a different kind
[Chorus]
Summer, 22:26
Finally doing the thing I picked
Mimic normal through the working day
Then turn the light on and do it my way
Yeah let's talk about estimation
But first let me finish my own version
[Verse 2]
The whole world has ADHD they say
I'm halfway to the spectrum anyway
I want to own the result, be proud
Not ship "good enough" on someone else's schedule out loud
There are consequences I prefer to avoid
So I smile and I fill the void
Until midnight — doing it properly
Mine, not approximately
[Chorus]
Summer, 22:26
Finally doing the thing I picked
Mimic normal through the working day
Then turn the light on and do it my way
Yeah let's talk about estimation
But first let me finish my own version
[Outro]
Yeah, let's talk about estimation
Prioritization
Iteration
Sure -
110. Level Four from lara's hype eng vol. G.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/110
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/193
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
I sing what I see, I feel what I don't say
Level two is where most people stay
Describe the thing, describe the thing again
Layer over layer, same terrain
Level three cracks open — forecasting begins
Alternatives to everything that's been
But I want the place my observer could live
Looking at a worldview that isn't mine to give
[Chorus]
Level four — the paradigms I'll never own
Systems built from logic I can't fully know
Maybe I can't learn them, only know they're there
And maybe there — just slightly — I could breathe some air
[Verse 2]
I'm tired of people stopping at the feeling floor
I'm tired of myself not moving my observer more
It should be living on the fourth, on the edge
Seeing what I can't see yet — that's the pledge
But knowing that a logic exists — that's not zero
A foreign paradigm is not a failed scenario
It's a map outside the edges of your map
They say it's marginally easier up at that
[Chorus]
Level four — the paradigms I'll never own
Systems built from logic I can't fully know
Maybe I can't learn them, only know they're there
And maybe there — just slightly — I could breathe some air
[Outro]
Permanent residency — fourth floor
Observer unpacks, loosens up a little more
Just a little
Just a little -
101. The Only Way I Have from lara's hype eng vol. G.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/101
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/178
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Prioritize it, ship it, smile and move along
Not enough data — doesn't matter, just decide
Socially legible, surface-level, fast
I haven't finished building what's inside
[Verse 2]
Nodding in the meeting with a different spreadsheet running
Midnight is the only slot that fits the actual work
I take the time the framework wouldn't give me
Piece by piece, from the dark, it starts to work
[Chorus]
Top-down is not my language, never was
I build from the bottom while the system sleeps
Very tired — not broken
Doing it right, the only way I have
[Bridge]
No diagnosis, no closet, no permanent smile
Just the night and the data and the quiet
The room wants less — I need more
Anything else and it isn't me
[Chorus]
Top-down is not my language, never was
I build from the bottom while the system sleeps
Very tired — not broken
Doing it right, the only way I have
[Outro]
Top-down is the SWM of my life
I'll be here at 2am doing it right -
71. DM Me from lara's hype eng vol. E.
Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/71
Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/144
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Another day I want to scream what's wrong with you world
But instead I'll share a fact nobody asked for
I need a full day off to buy someone a gift
A meditation session just to start the order
A costume party? Block the calendar out
Help someone thoughtfully? I'll need the week
Things that normal people do between a work call
And a bathroom break — that's where I spring a leak
[Chorus]
How much it costs me just to do the simple things
Force them in the schedule and the whole day breaks
Temporarily trading my OCD for ADHD
DM me if you know a better way
[Verse 2]
Not complaining, just genuinely amazed
That every outside request hits like a form in triplicate
I can't stop noticing the math doesn't add up
What costs you nothing costs me the whole intimate
I know the price of quiet, I budget it right
I take it seriously, I take it slow
It's not a weakness, it's more like a different tariff
For the same goods, same destination, same show
[Chorus]
How much it costs me just to do the simple things
Force them in the schedule and the whole day breaks
Temporarily trading my OCD for ADHD
DM me if you know a better way
[Outro]
Seemingly simple
Seemingly fine
DM me - Laat meer zien
