Afleveringen

  • Frustration with Chris Kennedy

    Frustration with Chris Kennedy

    · Life in Relationship

    Special guest Chris Kennedy, Pastor and Author

    Chris’s book, Grace Under Pressure - https://amzn.to/3FBrdU2 (associate link)

    Proactive v reactive approach

    Proactive = investing in taking care of ourselves, our emotions, our whole selves to be able to live in the moment more authentically as ourselves and in what we value/believe

    Reactive = awareness of emotion when it comes up

    Tip 1 - Attend to and nurture

    The environment

    Relationships

    Internal needs

    Growth mindset – realist outlook + everything is redeemable

    Tip 2 – Hold the tension of love with your frustration or anger

    Tip 3 – Remember “more than they deserve”

    Tip 4 – Non-judgment – grace and truth with the understanding that God is judge, not me

    Tip 5 – Notice other people

    Tip 6 – values and faith as driver, emotion as information to process

    Shame

    Tip 7 – careful of pouring yourself out to the last drop, we are human

    The impact of shame and guilt on our internal processing of anger

    “Holding It Lightly” from dialectical behavior therapy

    The purpose of frustration and anger

  • Happiness

    Happiness

    · Life in Relationship

    How do I find more happiness?

    Happiness is a momentary emotion, as all emotions are, time oriented, even as a mood

    Tip 1 - Look for happy moments, not a vague ongoing experience

    Defining – emotion related to joy, gladness, satisfaction, or wellbeing

    Related to confidence or satisfaction with a moment, a person, a situation

    Tip 2 – avoid all or nothing thinking

    Allow and acknowledge several emotions in your system at one time

    Value all the emotions

    Tip 3 – We’re ok v. Yay!

    Positive psych and researching the experience of happiness

    Hedonia and eudaimonia – pleasure v meaning

    Markers of happiness = relationships, purpose, meaning/gratitude/mindfulness, physical health

    Tip 4 – Don’t force it

    Tip 5 – Know your values to find your eudaimonia happiness

    Purpose and pleasure, skill and fulfillment

    DBT values word list available to subscribers at heidigoehmann.com in December

    Research:

    https://positivepsychology.com/predictors-of-happiness/

    Waterman, A. S. (2013). Eudaimonia: Contrasting two conceptions of happiness: Hedonia and eudaimonia. In J. J. Froh & A. C. Parks (Eds.), Activities for teaching positive psychology: A guide for instructors (pp. 29–34). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/14042-005

    Huta, V., Waterman, A.S. Eudaimonia and Its Distinction from Hedonia: Developing a Classification and Terminology for Understanding Conceptual and Operational Definitions. J Happiness Stud 15, 1425–1456 (2014). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-013-9485-0

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  • Anxiety

    Anxiety

    · Life in Relationship

    How do I tell the difference between my anxiety and my child’s?

    Attachment relationships are more connected for regulation

    The value of presence

    The detriment of sponging emotion

    Tip #1 – adults can bring the emotions to consciousness for kids

    Notice and name the emotion in the room

    Also helps us differentiate between my emotion and someone else

    Tip #2 – go out into nature/Creation to release some emotion

    Link to forest therapy info: https://www.natureandforesttherapy.earth/

    Tip #3 – know your own “stuff” (triggers, concerns, traumas)

    Tip #4 – do not assume an emotion, ask about an emotion

    Tip #5 – Be aware of triggers with no shame

    Practice accountability with kindness

    “I am uncomfortable. I want to hear what you have to say. I want to know what’s going on with you. The way it’s coming out is challenging for me.”

    Tip #6 – hold the duality of parental responsibility with deep parental love and connection

    Common questions: will they be ok? Will I mess them up? What am I missing?

    Give yourself space to learn and grow

    Try to help kids be unburdened by adult problems

    Tip # 7 – Maintain your connection with God

    Pouring out your emotions with God

    Resting with God

    Rhythms of prayer as emotionally regulating

    Hear God speaking to your emotions as a Gospel-oriented, invitation-to-relationship God

  • Sadness

    Sadness

    · Life in Relationship

    How do I help my loved one when they are sad?

    Differences in sadness and sorrow definition

    relationship to distress and emotion regulation

    Elevated, heavy feelings – sadness, guilt, remorse/regret, powerlessness

    - Time oriented, long suffering, pain taking time

    - Death, change, trauma, heartbreak, injustice, loss, disappointment, bad luck, trouble

    Consider the moments when someone becomes aware of something challenging

    No fixing

    acknowledgement goes a long way

    let these emotions be a process

    let people’s emotions, including our own be complicated and layered

    let it be seen by God with someone

    invite that person into regular life things

    2 Corinthians 1:3-4, God of all comforts, God of all, but especially of comfort

    Psalm 18:6-8, God’s anger at what makes us sad or hurt

    Resources:

    https://heidigoehmann.com/articles/sorrow-an-acknowledgment

    https://heidigoehmann.com/articles/honoring-our-sorrow-sadness-amp-tears-a-scripture-list-for-lent

    https://www.kfuo.org/2020/01/20/coffee-hour-012020-no-shame-in-sadness/

  • Zeal

    Zeal

    · Life in Relationship

    Listener question: How do I have a conversation with someone I disagree with when I feel passionately about something?

    Annoyed, accosted, attacked, or acknowledgment – honoring people’s passions while setting our own boundaries

    Tip 1 – root around your belief systems and consider how it impacts people

    Tip 2 – use words to state our emotions as well as our thoughts

    Define Zeal

    - great energy or enthusiasm for a cause of goal (google)

    - eagerness and ardent interest in something (webster)

    - fervor, determination, combined with kindness equalling great devotion (urban dictionary)

    - related to passion that is hard to govern

    Tip 3 - What is the love within this? What is the fear within this?

    -

    Tip 4 – reserve zeal for injustice to give power to the marginalized

    Tip 5 – hate doesn’t help

    - Ted Lasso – Be curious, not judgmental

    Tip 6 – You can have boundaries

    Opt out of conversations – place for avoidance and distraction, change of focus

    Opt of relationships – what relationships in our life hold zeal in health and which are overwhelming

    Boundaries with your own emotions

    Resources:

    Atlas of the Heart - https://amzn.to/46uBrRD

    Subsribe to heidigoehmann.com for more.

  • Empathy with Boundaries

    Empathy with Boundaries

    · Life in Relationship

    Listener question: How do I have both empathy and boundaries?

    Article on empathy and boundaries at heidigoehmann.com - https://heidigoehmann.com/articles/the-savior-complex-empathy-without-boundaries

    The difference between “hey, hold my emotions” and “withness”

    Cognitive empathy:

    Do they need us to see their perspective? Listen and ask questions about what they are thinking and how they see the world and their current experience.

    Emotional empathy:

    Do they need us to see their feelings? Listen and ask questions that help them name their emotions and give a space to honor them without judgment.

    Boundary #1 – self-differentiation

    Boundary #2 – no drama making, honor the degrees of separation

    Boundary #3 - know your lens: perspective, bias, and assumptions

    Boundary #4 – empathy doesn’t fix people

    Boundary #5 – know your bandwidth

    Boundary #6 – be yourself in your kind and compassionate clothing

    Boundary #7 – recognize all of our capacity for suffering

    Mental Health Tool - Gut check practice

    Series on empathy at heidigoehmann.com -

    https://heidigoehmann.com/articles/igniting-empathy-inside-of-me

    https://heidigoehmann.com/articles/how-do-we-talk-with-empathy

    https://heidigoehmann.com/articles/bringing-empathy-to-social-media

  • Pleasure

    Pleasure

    · Life in Relationship

    How do I get more pleasure in my life and relationships?

    Getting past the word pleasure - Culture and church cringy word, kind of awkward, vaguely sexual

    Pleasure definition = enjoyment, satisfaction

    1 - Look for pleasure to be relationship focused

    2 - ask deeper questions about pleasure

    3 - pleasure in balance with other emotions

    4 - noticing skills

    3 stages of pleasure:

    Wanting – expectation/anticipation, pursuit/drive

    Liking – sensation experience of pleasure, hedonistic hotspots in the brain

    Learning – brain updating information, making future predictions; brain begins linking neurotransmitters that were harder to link before

    Resources:

    Altogether Beautiful video on expanding our understanding of pleasure

    45 sec Preview: https://youtu.be/902FvFLwbA0?si=P8irRsjz0AH2ZQXj

    https://vimeo.com/ondemand/altogetherbeautiful/260826340

    https://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2004/11/berridge

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/202107/the-new-neuroscience-pleasure

  • Season 6 Trailer

    Season 6 Trailer

    · Life in Relationship

    Welcome back! The Life in Relationship Podcast answers one relationship question in each episode. We are looking forward to sharing Season 6 with you.

    This season we are answering relationship questions all about Emotions to celebrate Heidi's book release of Emotions & the Gospel: Created for Connection. Emotions covered include: pleasure, anxiety, happiness, sadness & sorrow, frustration, zeal, and empathy.

    Join us for episodes dropping in September. Submit your relationship questions at [email protected]. See you soon!

  • Breaking Up & Moving On

    Breaking Up & Moving On

    · Life in Relationship
    Topic: Topic: How do you break up well?How do I know it’s healthy to start dating again after a divorce or breakup? The weightiness of breakups Reminding us of our need as humans for intimacy There are ways to do break ups “better”, but no way to do it “easy”

    Keep it classy, kind, and clear

    Break ups are in a moment, but the work of a break up is long term face to face universally preferred in the research What do you need and what needs healing? Find your support people Consider the impact on relationships beyond yourself

    Allow for emotions

    Give opportunity to process for yourself and your break up partner let complex emotions be there, just listen and then move forward Own what needs to be owned, don’t own what isn’t yours Dave’s wisdom = “It’s not you, it’s us.” space before friendship Happier music video: https://youtu.be/m7Bc3pLyij0

    Give yourself time and space for the grief

    Set needed boundaries Homeostasis, getting to normalcy and comfort Pay attention to your internal dialogue and engage in healthy and aware self-talk A good time to engage in your spiritual life for foundation safety/comfort Space in communication disenfranchised grief and awareness of the stages of grief markers for “moving on”

    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/

    Necessary Endings: https://amzn.to/3PD8Q4Q

    Short answer: Keep it classy and give yourself time.

  • Taking Care of Your Partner with the Arrival of Baby

    Taking Care of Your Partner with the Arrival of Baby

    · Life in Relationship
    How do partners take care of each other when they have a baby?

    1 – Learn together, about baby and each other

    What are your unique challenges?

    Gender role complications

    Awareness of shifts and changes with each baby

    Embrace flexible curiosity

    Make space and room for letting the baggage come out

    2 – hold the good and bad together for and with another

    Acknowledge the impossibility of the unpredictable nature of parenting

    Some common anxieties:

    Exhaustion Anxiety about infant or just life Changes in other relationships (boundaries with others) What support is available Physical touch and sensory overload Uncertainty of needs – other and within self Communicating about something so new Losing who I am outside of parenting

    3 – Notice where your partner needs and respond to each other with grace

    Hormone changes and adjustment for both partners sleep deprivation messes with you validate and offer small touches to ground partner notice mess and mindfully notice joy Caring for each other outside of motherhood and fatherhood Caring for each other by splitting duties

    household chores episode – https://ilovemyshepherd.libsyn.com/household-chores

    4– help one another remember yourselves outside of parenting

    remember it’s a season go out and make nice moments happen when you stay in get to know baby and let baby get to know you - acclimate to baby, but also let baby acclimate to you

    Resources:

    Gottman Bringing Up Baby course - https://www.gottman.com/blog/bringing-baby-home-the-research/

    And Baby Makes Three - https://amzn.to/3B79iBj (affiliate link)

    Short answer: Plan for the unplannable and watch yourself grow.

  • Wrestling with Faith

    Wrestling with Faith

    · Life in Relationship

    Topic: Where do I turn if I’m wrestling with my faith?

    Intro: special guest Tanner Olson, Written to Speak, the poetry master

    Wrestling can be scary, but healthy Can feel like a journey, a battle, a dessert, normalcy, mediocrity Common Questions: Is God still who He says He is? Is God still close to me? Validating your questions and feelings goes a long way in making wrestling feel safer Keep talking to God – step toward relationship and revelation, getting to know God rather than always answering the whys Wrestling can bring growth and depth of faith Find people you can talk to about the questions and wrestlings Making peace with wrestling as part of the faith process

    Research studies reveal wrestling as a widely experienced phenomenon:

    Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2839364/

    Barna - https://www.barna.com/research/two-thirds-christians-face-doubt/

    Study of Islam - https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/paper/what-causes-muslims-to-doubt-islam-a-quantitative-analysis (Yaqeen Instititute for Islamic Research)

    Predominate themes in wrestling:

    moral and social concerns, philosophical and scientific concerns, personal trauma

    There is nothing wrong with you and sometimes it’s hard to see we are loved, forgiven, free, etc. Everyone’s relationship with God looks different We can rest in what we do know – “I know how this story ends” Faith looks different in different seasons of life Value of silence and stillness (Walk a Little Slower: pg. 104) Wrestling in the daily walk (Walk a Little Slower: pg. 52) Sometimes we think, sometimes we are invited to just be, sometimes we wait What to look for in wrestling companions Tanner wisdom: “Let the cheesy things still be true.”

    Resources: writtentospeak.com

    Tanner’s books -

    Walk a Little Slower - https://amzn.to/3IPETu7

    As You Go - https://amzn.to/3IMa49A

    I’m All Over the Place - https://amzn.to/3KYc0h1

    Short Answer: Let yourself be curious and let the cheesy things be true.

  • Talking to Someone about Their Mental Health

    Talking to Someone about Their Mental Health

    · Life in Relationship

    Topic: How do I talk to someone I love who is struggling with their mental health?

    Intro: Changing stigma towards mental health

    Step 1 - changing our beliefs

    Step 2 - changing our actions related to beliefs

    2019 APA survey:

    https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/05/mental-health-survey

    What is my relationship with this person? (4:30) Relationship = vulnerability + boundaries Where are they at? Consider the person’s willingness to have the conversation Can they see the concerns or are they mostly unaware? Use the phrase – “I’ve noticed” or “Have you noticed
” Start with culturally normative symptoms or what might be easiest from them to hear Shift our own understanding about mental health as part of everyone’s everyday life Get some info for yourself Nami - https://nami.org/Support-Education and Mental Health First Aid and Fresh Hope groups recognize our own anxieties about mental health Mental Health First Aid: https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/take-a-course/find-a-course/ Determining a crisis v. non-crisis situation

    QPR training for suicide prevention:

    https://qprinstitute.com/individual-training

    Concerns about suicide: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Consider your language and your relationship with your own mental health (18:00) Do not make assumptions Ask lots of questions Use a tone of respect People are more responsive when we are willing to deal with our own stuff Be authentic in our own struggles The struggle isn’t usually the same intensity forever Have some resources ready and check back in (23:30) Hotline resources - https://www.rainn.org/

    https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/

    https://www.thehotline.org/ for family and relationship violence

    211 – basic resources local to you

    look up some local therapists

    therapist search on Heidi’s website: https://heidigoehmann.com/connect

    Combat veteran resources and info around trauma

    Normalizing combat trauma - https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_veterans.asp

    Find an EMDR therapist - https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/

    Get your own therapy if they are resistant (or if they aren’t)

    books –

    Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - https://amzn.to/3EXYkhV

    Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Workbook - https://amzn.to/3HPMpEL

    Soul of Shame - https://amzn.to/3pViWTK

    Daring Greatly - https://amzn.to/3zwOpPw

    Fresh Hope Workbook - https://amzn.to/3faK0YV

    Fresh Hope website - https://freshhope.us/

    Loving Someone Series –

    PTSD - https://amzn.to/34oRh5s

    Bipolar - https://amzn.to/3zsYEnK

    ADHD - https://amzn.to/3mYkmuY

    Don’t forget boundaries for yourself with compassion

    Mental health page at heidigoehmann.com - https://heidigoehmann.com/mental-health-1

    Relationship page at heidigoehmann.com - https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

    Short Answer: There is no perfect way to have the conversation - start somewhere, with a resource and a single awkward conversation.

  • Young Adulting in a Family

    Young Adulting in a Family

    · Life in Relationship

    Topic: How does a family adjust to someone becoming an adult?

    Developmental realities, independence and angst

    The reality of Young Adulthood – How do I access independence?

    A Story: getting your first cold and/or changing your major in college

    Tip 1 – Celebrate small things of young adulthood

    baby steps reminds us we are capable telling each other you are capable = part of family life

    Tip 2 – be mindful of the stages of parenting

    parenting changes over time and with developmental levels of kids

    article from Berkley calls the last state a “guide” https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/three_ways_to_change_your_parenting_in_the_teenage_years making decisions for small children, to making decisions but offering choices, to making decisions with your child, supporting decisions alongside your child

    Tip 3 – be interested in one another as people

    find some new rituals and traditions as well as new ways to connect spiritually 4 areas to grow as family members grow – emotions, routines, freedom, and conversations (licensed family therapist online)

    Article: https://imperfectfamilies.com/grow-up-with-your-kids/

    Gottman “Creating Shared Meaning” and “Rituals of Connection”

    https://www.gottman.com/blog/create-shared-meaning-rituals-for-the-family/

    Dave’s bonus tip for parents of YAs – “take opportunities to be chill”

    Heidi’s bonus tip – “believing in eternity means I don’t have to be worked up about this moment”

    Tip 4 – transition takes effort and energy and is worth effort and energy

    relationship is made of vulnerability and boundaries

    Family members of YAs –

    consider what you want and what’s realistic

    respect their voice and freedom

    check ins with low expectations

    YAs seek help, communicate needs

    set boundaries, lead the way in defining your boundaries

    love your family as people not what they do for you

    Short answer: relationships need to transition as life transitions

  • Household Chores

    Household Chores

    · Life in Relationship

    Question: How do we split up “the chores” of a household?

    For marriage, roommates, families, etc.

    Dave & Heidi housekeeping love story

    Gottman research, wives find spouse doing housework erotic

    Link: https://www.gottman.com/blog/4-typical-solvable-problems-relationships/

    do what works, not what is expected Identifying expectations from other places – culture, family of origin, assumptions equality doesn’t mean 50/50, it’s seeing each other as equals there is no perfection in chore life: dailyness of life together in a household and the value of working on the daily things together even when they aren’t fun name your own expectations and desires: what needs to be done? How often? On certain days? etc. avoid extreme chore mentality consider the mental energy of appts and schedules and bills, etc, outdoor/indoor “I need you to participate more fully in (fill in the blank)” building your family culture: we all live here, we all have jobs to get the stuff of life done talk about it, write it down, list it all out (15:00) TED method: https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-split-the-chores-with-your-partner-minus-the-drama-and-fighting/ note what builds resentment keep in mind, it’s not a competition Tiffany Dufu, Drop the Ball, “we tend to be blind to household jobs that we don’t do.” cutting what is unnecessary and outsourcing (payment for something is related to privilege but doesn’t necessarily need to be an area of shame) 2018 compilation of studies from Harvard Business School – higher satisfaction in outsourcing discussion: https://www.hbs.edu/ris/Publication%20Files/18-072_b1d8cdda-fbb1-46ae-afd7-6742d2195f25.pdf Asking questions:

    What can we stop doing?

    What do we each like doing?

    What do I never want to do?

    How can we split it up?

    think about it as a “communication playground” ongoing, constant conversation (29:52) marriage contract joke make trades ask for help in both directions

    Short answer: talk about it, talk about it more, write it down, be extremely practical in this area

  • Childhood Friendships

    Childhood Friendships

    · Life in Relationship

    Question:

    How do we come to terms with the closure of a childhood friendship? What are ways to find contentment and peace when that friend no longer reaches out to us?

    Submitted by listener, Emily

    our childhood BFFs

    Research moment: 1 in 10 friendships survive into adulthood

    Children practice being a friend and there’s a learning curve. Children are learning how to be humans and learning relationship is part of that. Cultural misunderstandings – childhood friendships are backbones of our relational lives

    Research shows that having childhood friendships matters, but social support is what really has an impact longitudinally.

    Study with middle schoolers: http://www.llcsjournal.org/index.php/llcs/article/view/214

    Learning the effort of friendship from models and mentors in our lives Naming the complexities of relationship for one another Friendship sometimes lasts for a moment, a season, or a lifetime. Some friendships will end, every friendship doesn’t have to be a lifetime relationship The difference between guilt and shame when a relationship ends Listening to the Spirit and your spirit for deciding where to put effort in friendships Taylor Swift, Long Pond Documentary - https://www.disneyplus.com/movies/folklore-the-long-pond-studio-sessions/3Xlc0EjKtKpp values and personalities more important over affinities and interests

    Research link: https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/relationships/why-adolescent-friendships-end

    Concordia Publishing House values article: Honor the past as well as the present of the relationship v adding expectations, honor the other person’s sacrifice as well Growth mindset that allows grieving but also growing up. Friendships are best when the individuals grow in them, even if that means growing apart some people grow in the same direction and some in different directions, both are growth Non-judgment and letting people who they are Effort, asking for what you need, asking for what they need How to let go: allow yourself some space to grieve and be disappointed, connect with God’s unchanging nature and friendship, experience grace around the friendship Honor it – reflect on good memories, consider what that relationship brought into your life and practice gratitude for the gift DBT with Dave – let the friendship be what it is ;)

    Short answer: friendships have their seasons

  • Season 5 Trailer

    Season 5 Trailer

    · Life in Relationship

    The Life in Relationship podcast answers one relationship question in each episode. Our goal is more genuineness and authenticity in each of our relationships each day.

    Hear more about the new format on this short trailer and start submitting your questions to [email protected].

    People are always worth the trouble and relationship is worth the effort.

  • Always Growing: The Spiritual Practice of Contemplation

    Always Growing: The Spiritual Practice of Contemplation

    · Life in Relationship

    The epistles are what I like to think of as “big-word books.” They teach us about abstract concepts like propitiation, redemption, atonement, and righteousness. This can be intimidating, but also enlightening.

    Today’s spiritual practice gives us grace for when we encounter big words in Scripture or big ideas. Our goal today is to also build our ability to sit in not knowing “the answer” and discovering new ideas about God or new understanding in our relationship with God by simply engaging with His Word.

    A Reading from Jude from the ESV translation

    Dave’s contemplation:

    Blaspheme

    Predictions of the apostles

    Names in the passage

    The practice:

    Read through one of the letters of the New Testament or a chapter of the Bible

    (Romans is always a good place to start if you aren’t sure where)

    Focus on a word or phrase you don’t understand or are simply intrigued by

    Tips:

    Look at context

    Scripture interprets Scripture

    Look up cross references in your study Bible or on a Bible app or concordance

    Ask a friend about it

    Post on social media to hear other people’s thoughts on the word (considering the source and with the filter of the Word of God) or bring it up somewhere else

    Pray for God to direct you in His Word to knowledge and understanding about this concept.

    Ask a pastor or other theologian about Hebrew and Greek

    Find the other related narratives in Scripture

    Resources:

    Concordia Commentaries - https://amzn.to/2TTtzck

    People’s Commentaries - https://amzn.to/3j3urWb

    (affiliate links)

    https://blog.cph.org/read/4-ways-to-draw-near-in-the-new-year

    © 2019 Concordia Publishing House. Used with permission.

  • Always Growing: Spiritual Practice of Adventure

    Always Growing: Spiritual Practice of Adventure

    · Life in Relationship

    Always Growing: The Spiritual Practice of Adventure

    Practices for spiritual growth – always focusing on drawing near

    Greg Finke = Where are we going today, Jesus?

    Joining Jesus on His mission - https://amzn.to/3u5JAcb

    God wants to do daily life with us –

    Name 3 places you go in your day or week that God goes with you

    Life is an adventure – Seeing the adventure right where you are at

    What adventures can you spot in your own home or family?

    How do we encounter trouble in our daily life?

    How do we encounter questions and searching?

    Where do we encounter resolution and restoration?

    Where do you see God sending people to help you along the way?

    The Open Hands -

    Slowly read through a short passage in the Gospel accounts.

    Who is Jesus connecting with in this account? Where is He going? What is He doing and/or saying?

    Open your hands up and ask God where He would like to send Jesus into the world, through you today.

    How is the Holy Spirit faithfully directing your words in daily conversations? Remembering experiences of adventure and God’s faithfulness

  • Always Growing: Practices for Spiritual Growth

    Always Growing: Practices for Spiritual Growth

    · Life in Relationship

    Episode 16 – Always Growing: Practices for Spiritual Growth

    being with God v. producing something for God

    We can be doing all kinds of things for God, but very little to draw near to God.

    Today and to come: four practices for drawing near

    useful every day and especially useful for connecting to God in and around our challenges

    Thanks to CPH for letting me pull apart this article and use it a little more.

    What are your practices for drawing near to God?

    Organic as well as intentional

    Being aware/conscious in our traditions

    Where does the growth from your daily practices/yearly practices come from?

    Which are adding growth and awareness and which are added extra?

    Reading God’s heart rather than about growth

    Gottman Sound Relationship House Theory - https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-the-sound-relationship-house/

    Drawing near = connecting with God, building love maps with God, rituals of connection with God

    What is stopping us from drawing near to God? Identify your barriers

    Where is God working to transform you through those challenges?

    https://blog.cph.org/read/4-ways-to-draw-near-in-the-new-year

    © 2019 Concordia Publishing House. Used with permission.

    Always Growing in Awe

    The Spiritual Practice of Woah

    “Sometimes we need to see and remember God as big and infinite. He can’t always be understood through the relationships we see and experience here on earth. As you sit down to draw near, pull out Genesis 1 or Job 38. Look around you and notice one detail of nature and creation. Consider God’s voice speaking this thing into being.

    What care does God have for this one small detail? What authority does He have over it? What gift(s) does He give us through it?

    Imagine how Jesus will restore all things in the new creation. Ask Him what He has put before you to steward and care for in the meantime.”

    Give yourself a moment to be woahed by God and His care of all things.

  • The Truth about Mental Health: Growth & Grief

    The Truth about Mental Health: Growth & Grief

    · Life in Relationship

    Special guest: Rev. Michael Newman

    Tell us about yourself and your journey with grief.

    What aspects of grief make growth challenging?

    “big” and “small” loses

    Grief upon grief + grace upon grace

    Lack of cultural methods for honoring grief

    shame/disempowerment in loss and grief

    Relational resources designed to be shared

    Hope When Your Heart Breaks

    doses of God meeting you in darkness and pain of grief for self, for others good choice

    Getting through Grief

    adult and youth version charting a course – 8 gifts God gives to help us through grief

    conversation, forgiveness, love, hope, faith, community, purpose, presence

    What practices help us connect to God, rather than turning away from God, in our grief?

    Time to be in God’s presence

    Dialogue with God

    Watching for God’s work

    Tell us about any particular resources you would recommend for grieving and growth.

    Resurrection story of Jesus

    Joy of the Lord is our strength

    Romans 8

    Lazarus

    Jacob wrestling with God


    “Struggle Well” - https://amzn.to/38D6NKf

    “God Meant it for God” by RT Kendall - https://amzn.to/30KT5R7

    Henri Nouwen “The Return of the Prodigal Son” - https://amzn.to/3liViMW

    People in recovery programs

    *these are affiliate links

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