Afleveringen

  • Yikes, My Friend's a Yeller! : Parenting Styles

    Yikes, My Friend's a Yeller! : Parenting Styles

    · Little Feet Community

    There are many ways to parent a child. What do you do if your style is at odds with others? In this episode we speak with Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and Perinatal Mental Health Counselor (PMH-C) Kate Kripke. Kripke has worked supporting mothers and families for more than 20 years in various organizations and settings, most recently as the founding director of the Postpartum Wellness Center in Boulder, Colorado. Kate Kripke is author of Reinventing Supermom:Support and Strategies for New Mothers Who Feel Lost and is the host of Motherhood Uncut, a weekly unscripted podcast where she candidly explores all facets of motherhood.

    In this episode, we have a conversation about different parenting styles, acknowledging that there is overlap between styles and that parental stress can lead you away from the style you may prefer to fall into. Kripke also offers some advice for what to do when your family dynamics vary greatly from others in your life.

    Takeaways:

    There are four basic parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, neglectful and authoritative. Authoritative is widely considered the most healthy parenting style, featuring a combination of warmth, boundaries and flexibility while still making it clear that the parents are in charge. Children of authoritative parents know what is expected of them. Their parents explain reasons for the rules and consequences for breaking them. Parents also listen to their child’s opinions, but the parent remains the ultimate decision maker. If parents are not taking care of themselves, they will be easily triggered in hard parenting moments. Periods (or even days) where you find yourself stressed and depleted can lead to a more authoritarian or neglectful parenting style. Self care is essential to ensure you are showing up as the best parent you can be for your children. Authoritarian parenting can come from a place of fear or perceived threat. It is oftentimes not a conscious choice of style. Speak openly with your children about experiences where a different parenting approach may have led to your child feeling uncomfortable or uncertain. Open communication can help them work through those feelings and experiences. It’s a good idea to have a conversation with the other parent in your life if you feel truly uncomfortable with the choice they have made. For example, “Hey, I just have noticed that we parent our kids differently, and I want to make sure you know that these are the choices I'm going to be making with my kiddo, and it may be different than yours. Do you have any questions?” The more comfortable and accepting we are of the decisions that we're making for our children and our families, the less likely we are to judge other parents for their choices or practices. The kids that do the best in life are children who are raised by parents and families where there's A focus on values rather than rules. So saying, “Our family really values kindness. So when we're talking to people, we say please and thank you, and we look them in the eye.”
  • Is It Their Personality or a Phase?

    Is It Their Personality or a Phase?

    · Little Feet Community

    Have you ever referred to your kid as the shy one, what about the bossy one? In this episode of Little Feet Community podcast, we will discuss personality types with psychotherapist, best-selling author and national media commentator Niro Feliciano. We discuss personality tendencies present at birth and how experiences, as well as nurturing, influences how a personality evolves. Niro is the author of the TODAY.com column “Is This Normal?” as well as This Book Won’t Make You Happy: 8 Keys to Finding True Contentment. Her second book, All is Calm
ish will be released for the 2025 holiday season.

    Takeaways:

    While some personality traits are present at birth, external factors influence their development throughout stages of life. Avoid labeling your child with negative personality definitions such as shy, bossy, and moody. Help your child identify the positive aspects and nurture your child’s emotional growth. If you find you feel triggered by one of your child’s personality traits, reflect. Work to ensure that your own unhealed traits are not impacting how you nurture your child. Physiological traits can influence personality development. Recognize and nurture these traits. Some facets of a personality trait will prove to be challenges in your child's life, but the same trait is also going to be a strength.

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  • How to Raise a Confident Child

    How to Raise a Confident Child

    · Little Feet Community

    In this episode of Little Feet Community podcast, we speak with author and clinical physchologist Dr. Emily Edlynn about critical areas of child development that impact self confidence. We discuss Dr. Edlynn's publication Autonomy Supportive Parenting, a user friendly guide that offers easy to implement action items and techniques that will help support strengthened confidence and autonomy for your child (and your students). Her book is a must read for all those working with children. She is also one of the hosts of Psychologists Off the Clock, a podcast about the science and practice of living well.

    Takeaways:

    So, research shows that it’s important to support a child in three essential categories:

    helping your child develop autonomy helping your child develop competence and a feeling of agency, (I love Emily’s quote, “Competence breeds competence.”) helping your child feel truly connected, valued, with a sense of belonging in their relationships.

    Remember, by implementing practices that strengthen autonomy, you can enable your child to feel confident making choices, confidence embracing their freedoms, agency to to explore new things and take on challenges and confidence to live in a manner that aligns with their own personal values. Here was another great Emily quote: “Do less so that they can grow more.”

    Three good techniques through which to develop these goals is

    helping your child develop a healthy relationship with mistakes, accepting that they are a part of learning and growing. use language that validates their misgivings, feelings and experiences while also communicating your confidence in their abilities, and employing scaffolding techniques to meet them at their current skill level and then nudge them gently beyond that level.

    If you are like me, you benefit from real world examples of what these techniques look like. Part 2 of Dr. Edlynn’s book, Autonomy Supportive Parenting is chock full of such examples. And, if you order the book through the link we’ve included in our episode description, a small percentage of the sale will go to the creation of more podcast episodes like this one.

    Book link: https://amzn.to/4kmmzfP

  • Talking About Mental Health with Kids

    Talking About Mental Health with Kids

    · Little Feet Community

    Mental health challenges are common and chances are, you or someone you care about lives with this challenge. In this episode, we spoke to Leslie Cohen-Rubury, a psychotherapist, LCSW and podcast host of, “Is My Child A Monster”, about how to support your child and educate them about mental health as well as address mental health concerns in the family. Cohen-Rubury discusses strategies for parents to support their children when exposed to unhealthy mental health episodes, the significance of teaching emotional intelligence, modeling healthy behavior, and fostering connection and how to have a relationship with a family member with a mental illness.

    Here are some takeaways

    Include age appropriate mental health discussions as you teach your child about emotional intelligence, using developmentally appropriate language and resources. If your child is witness to unhealthy behavior, validate the child's feelings and provide emotional support. Studies show that having an ally during bullying or potentially traumatic experience has a positive impact. Put your arm around the child, let them know you are their ally. Work to see the positive intention in the person's behavior, also known as dialectic thinking or perspective. Leslie said, “I want to teach my child that there can be two opposing ideas, perspectives or thoughts that can coexist.” An experience can leave a lasting traumatic response if we avoid facing the impacts of the experience and if we do not process the impact of the experience. Watch for your child avoiding places or people as signs that they may be experiencing some unresolved feelings about experiences. To support your child, try to foster communication techniques so they feel comfortable sharing the experiences, such as the game Roses and Thorns. Most importantly, when your child is sharing, try to listen, rather than react. When should a parent share a personal or familial history of mental illness? It’s okay to have everyday language around emotional intelligence and mental health challenges from the start. As your child gets older, you can ask if they would like to learn and understand more. For example, “Do you want to know why you can’t wear your shoes in their house?”
  • Self Care for Kids & Why It's Important

    Self Care for Kids & Why It's Important

    · Little Feet Community

    Kids who practice self care have fewer meltdowns, more giggles and are more likely to grow up to be emotionally intelligent adults. Self-care practices can be taught and modeled to young children. Nora Painten, Director of the Abigail Lundquist Botstein Nursery School at Bard College in New York’s Hudson Valley, speaks with host Patty O’Connor about ways to teach self-care at home.

    Little Feet Community is an online resource for parents, caregivers, and educators seeking to support healthy growth in young children.

    Takeaways:

    It is vital to intentionally care for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Self-care is essential for adults and children. Parents should model healthy self-care to kids and understand that it’s okay to set boundaries with your kids. Self-care is a learned skill. You learn to read your body’s responses and your body's needs. Consider using a feelings chart to help kids learn to identify emotions. You can learn what practices are best for relaxing, replenishing your body, and strengthening yourself. Daily relaxed dialogue around self-care in the home is recommended. Using “I” messages and “I wonder” phrases such as, “I see you’re drinking a healthy drink of water. Water is so good for our bodies.” Building routines into the day will help children understand their physical needs, i.e., if trying to go to the bathroom before a nap is routine, they will learn to go to the toilet by themselves before napping. What works is unique to each child, The seven senses are an excellent place to start when looking for activities that will feel nourishing for your child. While many think of five senses, sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste - two less-considered senses are related to muscle application and balance. These, too, are critical.

    Suggested Tools

    Sight

    Find It tube Nature walks Magnifying glass with a basket of natural objects Puzzles Painting Lava bottles

    Sound

    Music Rainstick Listening to a story White noise

    Smell

    Empty bottles of vanilla extract are a low-cost way to share soothing aromas.

    You can also put essential oils in a diffuser. Lavender is very calming.

    The smells of baking are as soothing as the smell of homemade play dough.

    Aromatic natural objects like pine needles and cones.

    Touch

    Soft dry brush Massage rollers Nature objects Fuzzy blankets and toys Finger painting Fidget Toys

    Taste

    Lollipops Textural foods or smooth foods Seasonings

    Proprioceptive (muscle pressure/ regulation)

    Peeling oranges cracking open nut cases cutting cucumbers using child safe knives. Heavy work like carrying groceries Stretch bands Pillow fights Stilt shoes (also great for balance)

    Vestibular (balance sense)

    Playground equipment Yoga balls Tire swings Balance board Wobble cushion Obstacle courses: Stepping stones, more Stepping stones, Balance beam
  • Tough Topics: Talking to Kids about Current Events

    Tough Topics: Talking to Kids about Current Events

    · Little Feet Community

    How do you talk to kids about difficult current events, like the LA Wildfires? How do you field questions about news children may hear discussed around them? How can a parent or caregiver offer appropriate levels of reassurance using words a child can understand?

    In this week’s episode of Little Feet Community, Dr. Suzanne Button, Clinical Psychologist at The Children's Home in Poughkeepsie, discusses strategies to address complex current events with their children aged three through adolescence.

    Dr. Button advises simple, factual explanations and reassurance for young children (3-5 years). She suggests soothing routines and open conversations about fears for slightly older children (6-10 years). Notably, tweens and younger adolescents (10-14 years) benefit from “North Star” questions to develop coping mechanisms. Teenagers (15 years plus) need honesty and validation with collaborative discussions.

    Dr. Button also recommends delaying smartphone access and using community support to navigate these challenges, emphasizing the importance of managing one's emotions and seeking help.

    Takeaways

    When considering what to say to your child about current events, consider three things: I. Your child's developmental level (which may vary from their chronological age), II. Your knowledge of your child's personality and temperament, and III. How close is the event, and how does it impact your child, their family, and their community?

    3 to 5 years old. Remember that children aged 3-5 still dwell within the age of magical thinking. This means they will believe they have more control over events and outcomes than they do. Therefore, it's imperative to keep your explanation simple and factual and not overshare. 6-10 years old. At this age, worry and fear become more normal. Therefore, continue to keep things simple and factual. Don't overshare. However, do leave the door open and listen if the conservation veers towards concerns, questions, or worries. At this age, children tend to worry about their safety. Remember, this is an age where information can easily be misunderstood - so do listen carefully to clarify salient points. Enable them to understand facts and empower them to take appropriate action. At the same time, finding ways to reassure them that they are protected is ideal, as best you can. 10-14 years old. It's essential to be honest when speaking to tweens and early teens. This is crucial in maintaining their sense of trust. Give them many choices: how they want to talk and when they want to talk to an adult. Author Mary Pipher sees real value in North Star questions - questions that help the children seek inside themselves for coping mechanisms, challenging them to ponder what they would do if they had to manage a big flood. Teens 15+. At this point, young adults have passionate opinions and can smell a lie a mile away. Avoid intense one-off one-on-one conversations that are just about the current topic. Alternatively, broach the topic over routines like doing the dishes or riding in the car. Listen to your teen. They tend to have lots of intense opinions, and they get some of those opinions from social media. Don't dismiss their views. Instead, ask, listen, and validate - then further the conversation. (Dismissing their views will immediately shut down the conversation.)

    Finally:

    Consider Fred Rogers, who said, “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.”

    Assume your child knows about the event or news and seek to guide and support their navigation. Exposure to complex topics with guidance and support builds resilience. (Gentle reminder we can all use - repeated, unguided, unprocessed exposure builds numbing trauma and burnout. Also, remember that your stress levels will impact how your child processes their stress. Be mindful of this and model healthy self-care.)

    Empower your child to take action to stem anxiety (among other benefits). Gretchen Rubin said that action is the antidote to anxiety. Encourage your child to make actionable choices about supporting or participating in the event's aftermath—for example, collecting aid for those directly impacted or becoming involved in an organization that seeks to prevent such events.

    In Closing:

    Smartphones: It is highly recommended to delay giving a child a smartphone for as long as possible and to attempt to structure a social community where all agree to Wait Until 8th. Once a child has a Smartphone, make sure you know your child's passwords, make sure you put on screen time controls, make sure that that phone does not charge in your child's bedroom at night, and always set a rule for yourselves and your children that there are no smartphones in dedicated family times such as celebrations. Model limited phone use for your child. Ensure they see you relaxing, reading, and playing in other ways, not just on your phone.

  • Tough Topics: Talking to Kids about Death

    Tough Topics: Talking to Kids about Death

    · Little Feet Community

    How do we talk to kids about death? Unfortunately death is inevitable and when a pet or a grandparent dies your child will have questions. To answer these questions Patty O’Connor spoke to David J Schonfeld, MD, FAAP. Schonfeld established and directs the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement, located at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles For over 30 years, Dr. Schonfeld has provided consultation and training to schools on supporting students and staff at times of crisis and loss in the aftermath of numerous school crisis events and disasters within the United States and abroad. Schonfeld is also a Professor of Clinical Pediatrics at Keck School of Medicine.

    Key Takeaways:

    Don’t wait for the “right” moment to discuss death with a child. Do discuss death when an opportunity presents itself organically. If/when the moment presents itself (a pet dies or a child raises a question related to mortality), talk about it then.

    Do use words like “death” or “dead”. Don’t confuse children by saying that the dead person or creature is “sleeping.”

    When talking about death with kids:

    Use repetitive language Use short sentence structure

    Four KEY concepts that kids need to understand:

    Finality. Death is irreversible. Bodies stop. All life functions stop. (This way, a child won’t worry about the dead person being hungry or cold in the coffin.) Causality. Children need to understand why people die, which ties into the 4th concept: Inevitability - all living things must die.

    Above all:

    Know this: It’s okay to tell kids if you don’t have all the answers and it's okay to get emotional when talking about death.

  • Jon J Muth and Stillwater

    Jon J Muth and Stillwater

    · Little Feet Community

    Jon J Muth is beloved all over the world for his seven books featuring Stillwater the Panda. We spoke to Muth about AI, what led him to write and illustrate his famous children's books like the Stillwater series and his interest in Buddhism. Jon’s cat, Hex, was very vocal during the interview.

    Muth's many enchanting picture books include his Caldecott Honor Book Zen Shorts, Addy's Cup of Sugar, Stone Soup, and The Three Questions, which the New York Times Book Review called "quietly life-changing." His books have been translated into more than 23 languages and are cherished by readers of all ages. Muth is also renowned in the world of graphic novels. He won an Eisner Award for his paintings in the graphic novel, The Mystery Play by Grant Morrison. He lives in New York State with his wife and their four children.

    As we listened to Muth, we were struck by how many things in his youth have led to this beautiful life of creativity and all the literary and artistic gifts he has shared with us.

    From an education and parenting viewpoint, we’d like to highlight some takeaways for our listeners to consider.

    Muth spoke of how his mother supported his creative exploration.

    Muth was given art materials with which he was free to create. This type of open-ended exercise in creativity is great for a child. While there are merits to coloring and craft projects with a finished product in mind, the open exploration of materials allows the child to follow their own path of creativity. This empowers the child to believe that they are capable of dreaming up interesting ideas and problem solving how to create them.

    Muth also said that his mother gave him the freedom to make mistakes. He was given the space to try things out and rework them independently. There was no set idea of what constituted a successful end product.

    Language is also important as you seek to support the creativity of your child. When Muth showed his work to his mother, she asked questions like “What is this about?”, welcoming Muth to describe his work and further consider what he was working to create. Oftentimes, grown ups say phrases like “Good job.” We all do it! Yet, by using that phrase we are communicating our approval of their efforts without welcoming them to chat about it and explain what the process was like. It is recommended that, when possible, you respond with questions that will lead to dialogue. For example, when looking at a child’s painting, “I see that you chose to put red at the top. And then I see a long line of blues that goes all the way to the bottom. Tell me about that line!”

    Muth also noted that his mom didn’t interfere with his creative process. She held back commentary, allowing him to draw his own conclusions as to what he was working to create.

    We also love that Muth’s’ mother exposed him to the work of artists through trips to museums. For Muth, this had a significant impact, leading him to the exploration of other cultures. His mother could not have known which painting, if any, would impact her son. Yet, she made an effort to expose him to it.

    Muth clearly had time to create and explore his curiosities in childhood. He had ample unscheduled time to explore his interests. In these hurried days, it’s a good reminder to slow things down whenever possible.

    We sincerely hope you enjoyed this episode with author and artist Jon J Muth.




  • Helping Kids Navigate Emotions

    Helping Kids Navigate Emotions

    · Little Feet Community

    You are in the supermarket when your two-year old has a meltdown and all eyes are on you, what do you do? Healthy emotional intelligence contributes to resilience, social connection, and empathy. Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Play Therapist Rebecca Lewis speaks with host Patty O’Connor about ways to support little children in managing big feelings.

    Little Feet Community is an online resource for parents, caregivers and educators seeking to support healthy growth in young children.

    Here are some of the takeaways we discussed in our episode.

    Be mindful of the stage of development your child is in, and consider that while managing them. Use active and reflective listening techniques, using phrases like “I see” and “I wonder.” Voice modulation: if you are an adult, think about the tone of your voice. Sometimes, parents offer a choice when there isn’t one. If no option exists, avoid the impulse to add “okay?” at the end—this might imply that dialogue is possibly an option. Be consistent. Set a good example with personal self-care. Reading books together can facilitate conversation between you and your child, here are some book recommendations: When Sophie Gets Angry Pip's Magic Ruby Finds A Worry The Rabbit Listened Create a coping “toolkit” of strategies - i.e., deep breathing, blowing bubbles, fidgets. Find what works for your child. For example, drinking through a straw can calm some kids down. For more active kids try wall push-ups. There are no “bad” emotions. When a child is in an emotionally dysregulated state, don’t attempt to reason with them. Use play scenarios to help kids work out issues. Have a feelings poster. Reflect with your child on what happened afterward – when they are calmer.
  • Welcome to Little Feet Community

    Welcome to Little Feet Community

    · Little Feet Community

    Join us as we help children navigate their emotions, teach self care, and learn how to address tough subjects with your kids. Ms Patty will help you to trust your parental ability to enable your children to see miracles - as imaginations unspool.

    Join the conversation with therapists, educators, artists, and more.