Afleveringen
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Tanerélle is a singer-songwriter whose voice sits somewhere between neo-soul and quiet revelation, with singles like feels like love and Nothing Without You building a devoted audience around the specific ache of loving someone more than they love you back. In this episode, she and Shan trace the song feels like love from its origin — a late-night phone call with an ex that felt like home until Tanerélle realized she was the only one feeling it — through the larger question of what it means to be someone's muse instead of their person, and why those two things can feel identical from the inside until they don't.They also talk about what OCD and rumination actually do inside a relationship when safety isn't there, the slow way gender roles and social conditioning closed the door on the free version of herself she showed up as early on, and the specific kind of loneliness that comes from being the one who always reaches out first. This one is for anyone who has ever loved out loud in a situation that didn't love them back the same way and wondered whether that still counted as real.---Thanks to Stasis for sponsoring this video. Hold your stimulant to a higher standard — go to https://yt.link/K1ZEZNN and use code LOVERS for 15% off your first order.I'm sharing this in my personal capacity. Always speak with your own healthcare provider about what's right for you. #ad #StasisPartner*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. ———Follow TanerélleInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanerelleYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxqYnbQ6uCZhsanm43Jk6zATikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tanerelleFeels like love: https://open.spotify.com/track/6N5i4aUjLphRd77qlkpqdOWant more LOVERS?Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodramGet a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesAdvertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected] more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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There are three forms of intimacy every relationship runs on — and most couples only know two of them. Emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, and the one nobody has named yet: social intimacy, which is the degree to which your partner actively represents, claims, and advocates for you in the rooms and relationships that matter. Not just privately, when it's easy, but publicly, when it costs something.
This episode is Shan and Jared Brady sitting down to have that conversation for real — because as a public-figure couple in an open relationship where the woman is the financial lead, social intimacy isn't abstract for them, it's load-bearing. They work through what it actually looks like when your partner stops bringing you up, why that quietly erodes a relationship from the outside in, and what the research says about how much your partner's behavior in public spaces shapes your career, your network, and your sense of self.
If you've ever felt invisible in someone else's life while being completely loved in theirs, this one is for you.
Access our interactive social intimacy worksheet: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/social-intimacy-check-in-relationship-worksheet
Want more LOVERS?
Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram
Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
Want More Jared https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClhYIBYFJZpdth_C8hOoy5Q
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Ericka Hart (she/they) is a sex educator, author, and breast cancer survivor who has spent their career arguing that pleasure isn't a luxury — it's a right that's been systematically withheld from Black, brown, queer, and disabled bodies.
In this conversation, Erica and Shan trace the throughline from childhood activism that was never a choice, to being expelled from Peace Corps for loving who they loved, to the night they disclosed a double mastectomy mid-hookup and got the response that became their whole love story: "titties, I don't care." They talk about going topless at Afropunk and getting turned into "inspiration porn" instead of being seen as desirable, and about the gap between the two: being praised for surviving versus being wanted for who you actually are.
Erica shares what it actually means to write a book, Nasty Work, for the most marginalized people, because when you center the people the world has held least, everybody gets to see themselves.
This is a conversation about reclaiming a body the world has always tried to act on instead of let you inhabit, and what it costs, and what it feels like, to do that work on your own terms, even when it's still in progress.
Follow Ericka Hart
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ihartericka/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ihartericka1Website: https://ihartericka.com/
Book: Nasty Work: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/238226976-nasty-work
Listen to Hoodrat to Headwrap (with Ebony Donnley): https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/hoodrat-to-headwrap-a-decolonized-podcast/id1279429651
Want more LOVERS?
Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram
Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Thanks to Stasis for sponsoring this video. Hold your stimulant to a higher standard — go to https://yt.link/iD6LFRL and use code LOVERS for 15% off your first order. I'm sharing this in my personal capacity. Always speak with your own healthcare provider about what's right for you. #ad #StasisPartner
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
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Ezee (also known as Young Ezee) is an Atlanta-based comedian, actor, and content creator with over 6.6 million followers across platforms, known for her signature stud energy, her queer-centric digital shows, and her upcoming stand-up special Another Little Lesbian.
This conversation goes somewhere most relationship content doesn't: the specific weight of being the one who always has to hold it together — not because you're a man, but because you look like one. Ezee talks about what it cost her to suppress her emotions to fit a role her partners assigned based on how she presents, the moment she realized she'd been leaking that suppression as rage instead of tears, and how her relationship with her fiancée Natalie became the first place she felt genuinely safe to be a full woman. Woven through all of it is a double-proposal story that ends up being the most precise illustration possible of what it looks like when someone refuses to let the person they love go unseen.
This one is for anyone who has ever been handed a script they didn't write and loved someone hard enough to finally put it down.
Follow Ezee
https://www.instagram.com/ezee
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@youngezee
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ezee
Follow Andrea Lewis
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andrealewis/?hl=en
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@andrealewischannel
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@missandrealewis?lang=en
Want more LOVERS?
Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram
Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Jared Brady and Jonathan Singletary sit down to talk about fatherhood, inheritance, and the difference between intention and what's already in the body.Jonathan Singletary is a Los Angeles-based musician, songwriter, and founder of Piano & Prayer, a musical meditation and community gathering practice featured in the LA Times that has grown into a meaningful spiritual presence for thousands of people. Jared Brady is a creative director, actor, and co-founder of Shared Entertainment.Both men are in the middle of the work. Jonathan reaches for his daughter on instinct before the decision clears his mind. Jared watches his father's disappointment move across his own face and recognizes it. Neither of them is reporting from a solved place — they're two fathers who love their kids, who came from fathers they love, and who are sitting with the uncomfortable truth that some of what they're trying not to repeat is already running underneath everything.What holds this conversation together is a question Jared names explicitly: when you strip away the edited version of yourself, what voice are you actually parenting from? This episode earns its warmth by being honest first — about cost, about inheritance, and about the grace it takes to extend that same grace back to your own father.This one is for anyone who is actively trying to parent differently than they were parented, and discovering that the work is less about what you know and more about what you notice.————————Show some love on Daddy Day with our sponsor Arya! Go to http://arya.fyi/shan and use code DADDY10 ;)LOVERS! Get 15% off OneSkin with the code LOVERSBYSHAN at https://www.oneskin.co/LOVERSBYSHAN #oneskinpodShowing love to our sponsor Biologica. Take their Quick Hormonal Life Stage Quiz to find the formula that’s right for you, and get up to 32% on your purchase: https://biologica.com/loversLots of love to our sponsor, Quince. Go to quince.com/lovers for FREE shipping and 365-day returns.————————Follow Jonathan SingletaryInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonathansingletaryWebsite: https://www.jonathansingletary.comPiano & Prayer: https://www.jonathansingletary.com/piano-and-prayer/patreonFollow Jared Brady → Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbradyWant more LOVERS? Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzesLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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https://yt.link/quMC2B9 → thank you for the sponsor of this episode hers. Learn more about hers.
Inayah on what it actually takes to stop being someone who's always ready to leave.
Inayah is a Houston-born R&B singer and songwriter who first broke through with her viral cover of Ella Mai's "Boo'd Up" in 2018 (a moment that grew her following by over a million people overnight) and has since built a catalog — and a public identity — around emotional honesty, female independence, and not needing a man. Her forthcoming album is called Therapy Wasn't Enough, which is also the most accurate description of where this conversation begins.
In this episode, Inayah gets specific about what it means to be a leaver (someone who, at any given moment, is already scanning for the reason to go) and what it has actually cost her to try to become something different inside a relationship with a partner whose traditional Jamaican values regularly collide with her experience as a modern American woman building her own life on her own terms. Neither of them has figured it out yet (they're not reporting from the finish line here), and that honesty is exactly what makes this conversation worth sitting with.
This one is for anyone who loves someone and still can't quite make themselves put both feet in.
Big love to the sponsor of this episode, Masterclass. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers.
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Follow Inayah
Instagram: http://instagram.com/inayah/
Stream Therapy Wasn't Enough: https://inayahofficial.com/
Want more Lover?
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join Beducated today at https://beducate.me/loversbyshan.
Big love to the sponsor of this episode, CozyEarth! Head to https://cozyearth.com/LOVERS and use my code LOVERS for an exclusive 20% off.
Head to www.penguinrandomhouse.com to get your copy of Caro Claire Burke’s new book Yesteryear, a gripping, darkly funny thriller about an influencer trapped in a nightmare version of the past.
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Dondré Whitfield on why men cheat — and what nobody taught them about love.
Dondré Whitfield is an actor best known for his roles in Guiding Light, Queen Sugar, and The Game, and the author of Male vs. Man (a book about what it actually means to be a man in the context of family, fatherhood, and love). In this conversation, he traces the origin of his infidelity not to a moment of weakness but to a moment of watching his father lust after other women in plain sight (that was the day, he says, the cheater in him was born — not because he wanted to be that man, but because he didn't yet know he had a choice).
What follows is one of the most specific and honest conversations we've had on this show about what it looks like when a man finally decides to understand himself and then builds an entire framework so his children don't have to start from zero. His concept, "we date as a family" (where the whole family meets not just the person a child is dating but their father too, so everyone can help scaffold the relationship toward something healthy), is practical, radical, and worth hearing in full.
Follow Dondré Whitfield
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/alldondre/ Website → https://www.dondrewhitfield.com/ Get Dondré's book Male vs. Man → https://a.co/d/0het8rPc
Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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A few weeks ago I put out the Melissa Ford episode, and the comments told me something I already knew before I hit publish: I crossed a line I claim to stand against. This is me sitting with that.
Chaos is a ladder. I've climbed it for twenty years. The only other ladder I know is love, and it's so much harder, because you have to actually feel your way up it.
I also owe a more honest version of something I said before about my life, my relationship, the joy I keep telling from the outside in instead of the inside out. So I'm saying the true thing plainly: I have an amazing love life. This is the year I stop building from fear.
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Showing some love of the sponsor of this episode #BEDucated. Join Beducated today at https://beducate.me/loversapril.
Shout out to the sponsor of this episode #Quince. Go to Quince.com/LOVERS for free shipping and 365-day returns.
LOVERS! Right now, you can receive up to 32% off your purchase by heading to Biologica.com/LOVERS!
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Melyssa Ford has heard every version of the argument. She's seen the comments. She knows what people think about a woman her age with no husband and no kids who says she's genuinely happy.
And she's back to say it again, louder. In this episode, Shan and Melyssa get into the real reason so many women are quietly stepping back from traditional relationship structures, not out of bitterness, not out of trauma, but out of a clear-eyed look at what they were actually being offered.
If you've ever felt like the options on the table weren't worth the cost, this one is for you.
Follow Melyssa Ford
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melyssaford→ Watch Hot & Bothered with Melyssa Ford (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgI18pIo71rZWq6upn_QxMgListen to Hot & Bothered Podcast: available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & all major platforms
→ Get her book Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself: 13 Lessons for a Life Well Lived: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58631608-allow-me-to-reintroduce-myself?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=n6x35X4UoC&rank=1
Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beduc.at/bg2621-boody
Big love to the sponsor of this episode, Masterclass. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at masterclass.com/lovers.
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In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with KevOnStage and Melissa Fredericks for a conversation about the kind of partnership most people admire from a distance… but might struggle to survive in real life.
Before the success, before the tours, and before the platform, Melissa was the one carrying the financial weight of their household while Kev pursued stand-up comedy full time. She talks honestly about what it felt like to be the responsible one, why she chose not to weaponize money in their relationship, and how they built trust without keeping score.
Together, they unpack the mindset that has shaped their marriage for years: if one person fails, both people fail. If one person wins, both people win.
We also talk about resentment in long-term relationships, navigating major life transitions like perimenopause, giving your partner room to evolve, and why some of the choices that strengthened their marriage would look completely irrational to other couples.
This episode challenges modern ideas around independence, partnership, sacrifice, gender roles, and what it actually means to build a life with someone instead of simply alongside them.
If you’ve ever wondered what real partnership looks like behind the scenes, or questioned whether you’d actually be willing to make the sacrifices required for the kind of love you admire, this conversation is for you.
Follow KevOnStage & Melissa Fredericks
→ Kev's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kevonstage
→ Melissa's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrskevonstage/?hl=en
→ Website & Tour Dates: https://www.kevonstage.com
→ Watch Kev’s Shows & Comedy Content https://www.youtube.com/user/KevOnStage
AND don’t miss the latest release from Kennedy Ryan upcoming novel Score → https://kennedyryanwrites.com/score/
Did you know Kennedy Ryan came on the podcast? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJxZ-XzFck
Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beduc.at/bg2620-boody
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In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with my sister Lauren Morrison to say something ick: we both still enjoy attention from men.
While we prepare for Mash Majesty, our section for Toronto Caribbean Carnival, we’ve been having important conversations around what carnival represents for us, and in addition to community and culture, it’s also a day to flirt with the gaze!
In this episode, we talk about how motherhood, marriage, long-term partnership, and aging can shift the way women experience themselves socially and romantically, especially in a culture that simultaneously rewards female desirability while shaming women for acknowledging that they enjoy it.
Together, we unpack why so many women quietly miss feeling desired, why being loved and being wanted are not always the same emotional experience, and how spaces like Carnival and Mash Majesty can reconnect women to embodiment, visibility, sensuality, play, and freedom without shame.
This episode is deeply personal, but it’s also connected to the spirit behind Mash Majesty itself: creating a space where women can feel expressive, magnetic, joyful, powerful, sensual, seen, and fully alive in their bodies.
If you’ve ever questioned whether it’s shallow to enjoy attention, missed feeling desired in your relationship, or struggled with how motherhood, aging, or partnership changed the way the world responds to you, this conversation is for you.
Join us for Toronto Caribbean Carnival August 1st, 2026
https://tribal.masos.app/events/b73d9cf9-ca8b-4d97-b7c8-a2511cec0b35/sections/db97e350-5840-448f-ba03-ff461464549c
Follow Lauren Morrison
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenmorrison/→ Get Lauren’s new book https://www.amazon.com/Be-Room-Shrinking-Leading-Purpose/dp/B0FM4HGYSP→ Sign up for a free coaching consultation with Lauren https://www.beintheroomcoaching.com/work-with-lauren
Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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Showing love to our sponsor Arya. You deserve a novelty and pleasure in your intimate, ESPECIALLY in light of Mothers’ Day. Head to https://www.arya.fyi/mothersday to learn more
Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beduc.at/bg2619-boody
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How much of your attachment style is actually formed in childhood?
In this episode, Shan sits down with renowned psychiatrist and attachment expert Dr. Amir Levine to unpack the myths around attachment theory and why attachment styles are far more flexible than people think.
Dr. Levine explores the nuances of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment, with a specific emphasis on avoidant attachment and the misconceptions surrounding it in modern dating culture. He explains why attachment is better understood as a belief system rather than a fixed diagnosis, revisits the groundbreaking “Strange Situation” experiment developed by Mary Ainsworth, and shares practical tools like the Tennis Wall of Love and the C.A.R.R.P. method to help build healthier, more secure relationships.
The conversation also explores how technology and modern communication have completely changed the way we connect, date, and experience intimacy today.
Follow Dr. Amir
Take his MasterClass on The Science of Connection → https://www.masterclass.com/classes/the-science-of-connection
Get His New Book Secure → https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/secure-amir-levine/1148276412
Get His Bestselling Book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love → https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/attached-amir-levine/1102355415
Connect with Dr. Amir → https://amirlevinemd.com
Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Showing love to our sponsor Biologica. Take their Quick Hormonal Life Stage Quiz to find the formula that’s right for you, and get up to 32% on your purchase: https://biologica.com/lovers
Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off!
Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/shanboody.
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What does the Kama Sutra say about hands?
In this episode, Shan sits down with storyteller and pleasure educator Seema Anand to explore one of the most overlooked (and underestimated) tools of intimacy: your hands.
Recorded live in London in front of an audience of sex educators and pleasure-positive voices, this conversation focuses on expanding your pleasure potential, with a special emphasis on hand sex, as we celebrate the launch of our brand new Käma jewelry collection, inspired by the Kama Sutra.
Seema shares what the Kama Sutra actually teaches about touch, including specific finger combinations, how intention shapes sensation, and why hands play a central role in pleasure.
We also explore the connection between the Kama Sutra and lunar phases, rethink the art of foreplay, and touch on the idea of being multi-orgasmic, and what that can look like.
💎 Shop our new KAMA ring collection. Shop the collection: https://surmeyi.com/kama
RSVP to our Tell-ALL Part 🎉Tuesday, May 5th at 11AM PST. https://community.loversbyshan.com/c/podcast/tell-all-pleasure-party-w-seema-anand-0454f07b-12ae-40ae-b0e6-1f5a167f721a
Watch Seema’s Previous Podcast EpisodesKama Sutra Secrets Every Woman Deserves to Know: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2Pj2rTHLyk The Kama Sutra Secret @SeemaAnandStoryTelling Wants the World to Know About: https://youtu.be/HfrQynAqKjo
Follow SeemaGet her book Speak Easy → https://www.amazon.com/Speak-Easy-Filed-Longing-Intimacy/dp/9361319337 Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/seemaanandstorytelling/?hl=enSubscribe to her YouTube Channel → https://www.youtube.com/@SeemaAnandStoryTelling
Want more Lover?
Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com
Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/shan2026
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In this episode of Lovers, Jared and I sit down on vacation for a conversation we’ve never had this honestly before.
This is our seventh year of marriage, the year people warn you about. The year of the “seven-year itch.” And while we’ve built a life together, kids, history, love, this was the first year I really sat with a truth that surprised even me.
For a long time, I wasn’t fully certain we would stay married forever.
In this conversation, we talk about what it actually feels like to be years into a relationship, how having children changes the dynamic between partners, and why even strong marriages go through seasons of doubt, distance, and recalibration.
We share the fears we had going into year seven, the honest ways our relationship has been tested, and what ultimately shifted for me to say, fully and consciously, that this is the person I’m choosing for life.
This episode isn’t about perfect love. It’s about commitment, growth, and what it really takes to stay.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship can survive the hard seasons, or questioned what long-term love is supposed to feel like, this conversation is for you.
Follow Jared BradyInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbradySubscribe to his YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKVWwEy39GLNzKXXt9v46TA
Want more Lover
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newslette
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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Shout out to the sponsor of this episode Tonal. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase. Just go to tonal.com and use promo code LOVERS.
Big love to the sponsor of this episode, Masterclass. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/lovers
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In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Affion Crockett for a conversation about love, timing, and what it really takes to build a relationship that works.
Affion is actually part of my own love story. He’s the reason Jared and I met. But in this conversation, we turn the lens on him.
Now in his 50s, after years of dating, therapy, and the loss of his father, Affion shares that he finally feels clear on what he’s looking for in a partner, and what he’s no longer willing to force.
For a long time, he believed in the idea that if you try hard enough, you can make a relationship work. But watching his father spend years in an unhappy marriage, and ultimately pass away still carrying that weight, changed how he sees love completely.
We talk about why some relationships aren’t meant to work no matter how much effort you put in, why “happy wife, happy life” doesn’t always lead to real fulfillment, and what it looks like to pursue a relationship that actually adds to your life instead of draining it.
This isn’t a story about giving up on love. It’s about getting honest about what love should feel like, and having the clarity to wait for the right fit.
If you’ve ever tried to make something work that just didn’t click, or wondered if it’s too late to find the kind of relationship you really want, this episode is for you.
Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet
https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only
Follow Affion CrockettInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/affioncrockett/Watch A Hip-Hop Story Now → https://www.ahiphopstory.com/
Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.squarespace.com/LOVERS for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use CODE: LOVERS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Sex is a skill, and you can learn how to be the best lover in bed! Join Beducated today at https://beducate.me/loversapril.
Lots of love to our sponsor, Quince. Go to Quince.com/LOVERS for free shipping and 365-day returns.
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In this episode of Lovers, Kamie Crawford returns for a third time, and this time, she’s engaged.
When Kamie first came on the podcast, she was coming out of a very public breakup and rebuilding her life from the ground up. In her second appearance, she shared a mindset that sparked a lot of conversation: “I’m not a girlfriend, I want to be a wife.” She was dating with intention, holding high standards, and refusing to entertain anything that didn’t align with the life she actually wanted.
People had a lot to say. Some called it unrealistic. Others said her standards were too high.
Now she’s back, engaged to the love of her life, in a relationship that didn’t just meet her standards but exceeded them.
In this conversation, we talk about what it looks like to hold your standards in dating, how to navigate criticism when people tell you you’re asking for too much, and why the language you use around love, marriage, and your future actually shapes what you experience.
Kamie shares how she approached dating with intention, why she refused to shrink her desires to be more “realistic,” and what happened when she chose to dream bigger instead.
If you’ve ever been told to lower your standards, questioned whether you’re asking for too much, or wondered if holding out for the kind of love you actually want is worth it, this episode is for you.Watch our other interviews with Kamie Crawford on LOVERS:2021: How to Look at a Breakup Differently → https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r 2023: This is What Happens When a Single Woman Turns 30 → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4 Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-onlyFollow Kamie CrawfordInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/Watch her podcast Relationshipshit → https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpodWebsite → https://www.kamiecrawford.com/
Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/lovers.
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In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about… but don’t always say out loud: what if you don’t want kids?
Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She’s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you.
Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn’t sit right.
What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn’t actually fit you anymore?
We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn’t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn’t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish.
This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not.
If you’ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don’t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you.
EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCENeed help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive
Follow Lisa Bilyeu
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/→ Watch & learn on Impact Theory: https://impacttheory.com/→ Explore her personal website: https://lisabilyeu.com/→ Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865→ Get her book Radical Confidence: https://radicalconfidence.com/
Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.—In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design?We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn’t accidental, it’s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied.Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire.This conversation will challenge what you’ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you.
Resources mentioned→ What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit
→ A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18
Follow Aida Mariam Davis→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/→ Learn more about Decolonize Design: https://www.decolonizedesign.com/ → Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj
Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Mark Manson, the bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope, and Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, to talk about what men actually think about before they propose, and why waiting doesn’t mean what you think it means.Mark shares the story of how he “agonized” over proposing to his now wife of ten years. Despite being deeply in love, he struggled with doubt, timing, and the pressure to feel completely certain. The turning point came during a conversation with his stepmother, who told him she had been married for over thirty years and still couldn’t say with absolute certainty that she “knew” he was the one. That advice freed him from the illusion that certainty is required before commitment.We also unpack my own proposal story with Jared, including the untold truth about the pressure I put on him to propose and what was actually happening behind the scenes. The story I shared online isn’t the full story, and in this episode, we fill in the missing pieces.Lauren Morrison, my sister and the author of Be in the Room, joins as guest host. As a longtime fan of Mark Manson, she helps us dig into the myth of the two-year rule, the idea that if a man hasn’t proposed by a certain timeline, you must not be “the one,” and the false belief that real love comes with instant certainty.This conversation challenges the cultural narrative that a proposal delay reflects doubt about your worth. Instead, it reveals how doubt is often part of the process, not a sign that something is wrong.If you’ve ever wondered what’s taking so long, this episode is for you.
Get MasterClass Today
For real, what are you waiting for? My class on MasterClass is one of the best things I’ve ever done and I’m sure every other instructor would agree! Go to http://masterclass.com/lovers Get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership
Follow Mark Manson
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson/→ Listen to Mark’s podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/solved-with-mark-manson/id1247526593→ Sign up for Purpose and experience Love Maps: https://purpose.app/
Follow Lauren Morrison
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenmorrison/→ Get Lauren’s new book https://www.amazon.com/Be-Room-Shrinking-Leading-Purpose/dp/B0FM4HGYSP→ Sign up for a free coaching consultation with Lauren https://www.beintheroomcoaching.com/work-with-laurenWant more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with actor DeWanda Wise to talk about what makes her marriage to actor Alano Miller genuinely healthy, not perfect, not performative, but well-matched.
DeWanda and Alano have been married since 2009 after dating for only three months. Now more than 15 years in, they frequently appear together at industry events and continue to build a partnership rooted in intentionality rather than assumption. Alano Miller, known for his roles in Underground and Jane the Virgin, shares a dynamic with DeWanda that is grounded in accountability and mutual respect.
One of the most impactful amendments in their marriage came from Christian counseling: don’t treat strangers better than you treat me. They hold each other accountable to extend the same kindness, patience, and curiosity at home that they offer the outside world. When one of them falls short, the response is not immediate condemnation but curiosity and course correction.
We explore the delicate balance between accepting your partner and enabling harmful patterns, and what it truly means to be well-suited to love someone as they are. DeWanda challenges the idea that being “too much” is always a flaw, suggesting instead that compatibility determines whether intensity feels overwhelming or perfectly matched.
We also draw parallels to parenting, where the tension between letting someone be themselves and shaping them into who we think they should become is ever-present. This conversation ultimately centers on discernment, kindness, and the courage to build a relationship where both partners feel deeply seen and responsibly loved.
This episode also features a clip of my upcoming interview with legendary relationship therapists John and Julie Gottman! You can preview this episode inside the LOVERS community only
Thanks to our sponsor of this episode Evvy
Find out what’s happening with your vaginal health so you can build a care guide based on knowledge vs guess work!Go to https://evvy.yt.link/v90OvPp use code LOVERSBYSHAN10 for 10% off your first purchase (up to $25).
Follow DeWanda Wise
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dewandawise/→ Keep up with her movies and TV appearances: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1986622/Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
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