![MP044 – “The Cow in Reverse” [Science Fiction] by Bret Norwood](https://is2-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Podcasts125/v4/79/06/b0/7906b0a6-daac-3a51-5e90-51e9b1aa9a19/mza_9183249320534547838.png/250x250bb.jpg)
Afleveringen
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Happy Halloween!!! We're back with some surprise blue super moon monsterbation for your All Hallow's. In "The Embiggening" by Matt Cummins, a boy who thinks himself weak makes a wish that weak things can be strong...but the wish proves a little vague. BUT FIRST: sex robots, candy corn, and sexy sexy heads of rock star hair!!!
Thanks for tuning in! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to rate and review on Apple Podcasts! Connect with MP on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
Godspeed and Happy All Hallow's, monsterbators!
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Before we launch into today's feature, "Pastoress: We Will Be Changed," please indulge us while we discuss how the podcast has struggled with Apple Podcasts over the last nine months and the rather surprising way in which online censorship might have impacted Monster Porn...I say "surprising" because it has nothing to do with any of the off-color things we've said or that the word "porn" is in our name. We cover the evidence we've seen in our own listener stats that Apple has algorithms in place suppressing criticism of the Chinese government and how this may have nearly strangled this podcast.
Today's story is "Pastoress: We Will Be Changed" by Bret Norwood. The Pastoress has returned to Earth following her quest to find God, realizing that Naomi is in danger. However, dark forces bear down upon her before she can reach her friend. If you enjoy Pastoress, the saga begins back in MP012 and you can find our Pastoress playlist on Youtube.
If you enjoy comics, back Mr. Guy: Zombie Hunter from our friends at Oneshi Press, now on Kickstarter! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/oneshipress/mr-guy-and-the-origins-comics-anthology
Read Bret's write-up on the China thing on our blog at MonsterPornPodcast.com.
Visit the Monster Porn Store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Monsterbators! Today we present "Interdimensional Cancer a la Mode," an interdimensional body horror comedy from Matt Cummins. When Jerry gets a bike tire in the backside and ends up in the E.R., the anesthetics take him to a strange and uncomfortable place, a parallel dimension perhaps, where he witnesses a horrible mimicry of his operation.
But first, Matt plays wingman to Bret once more when they hit up the Fourth of July Singles Mingle down at the park and Bret shows the ladies the magic of romance. And his sexy, sexy cape.
Thanks for joining us, monsterbators! If you enjoy this show, please be sure you're subscribed and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Every little bit helps this show keep growing!!
Check out the new comic book from friends of the show Oneshi Press, now on Kickstarter! Back "Mr. Guy: Zombie Hunter" here: http://kck.st/3dRjZuD
Hit the official Monster Porn Store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store, and sign up for the newsletter at MonsterPornPodcast.com!
Godspeed, monsterbators!
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Presenting "Starbat" -- When teen Eddie Adder dies and finds his shade on the moon, he also encounters Avery Case, the classmate who went missing a year ago, only she's not dead. She's dressed like some sort of Goth cosmic superheroine and has been sent to shepherd Eddie's shade to the center of the galaxy...a journey to oblivion that becomes derailed by horror.
But first, Bret and Matt have rediscovered an ancient gateway buried in the sands...a gateway to a much radder world full of pow and blam and fraga-boom, a gateway to the world of comic books...Yes, Bret and Matt enter the COMICSGATE. (That's what that means, right??)
Thanks for listening to this episode of Monster Porn! Check out our merch store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store and be sure to get on the newsletter for bonus Monster Porn at MonsterPornPodcast.com!
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Today on a Monster Porn double feature, Matt and Bret play the game you just can't win: Race Invaders! First, in Matt Cummins' "Race Invaders," a traffic stop puts a black man in a dangerous situation with a bad cop before things get weird. Then, in "Pastoress: The Zealots," by Bret Norwood, the Pastoress on the hunt by night finds herself in the midst of a riot she doesn't understand.
Sign up for the MP newsletter at MonsterPornPodcast.com for bonus content including updates on Monster Porn Magazine!
If you enjoyed this episode of Monster Porn: Weird Fiction & Horror Podcast, be sure you're subscribed and please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts!
Thanks for listening and godspeed, monsterbators!
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Today, Monster Porn: Weird Fiction & Horror Podcast presents a Lovecraftian take on Bram Stoker's Dracula called "Blackbirds" by Bret Norwood. The narrator, fleeing over winter New England roads from an unknown danger, reflects upon the maddening knowledge he encountered by cross-referencing a certain forbidden tome with his grandmother Harker's journals. It's "What if Lovecraft wrote the sequel to Dracula?" today on MP!
"Blackbirds" originally appeared on "Once Upon a Time in Transylvania" presented by OctoberpodVHS. To experience the entire anthology of reinterpretations of Stoker's Dracula united by verses of Wallace Steven's poem "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird," head here: https://youtu.be/yG8W-PLg_QA
Sign up for our newsletter to get bonus content including our forthcoming digital magazine format at MonsterPornPodcast.com!
Be sure you're subscribed and please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts!
If you enjoyed this cosmic / Lovecraftian interpretation of Dracula, you might check out our other vampire-based episode, MP033 - A Vampire Story Special, featuring two of my personal favorite MP stories, "The House on Sumner" and "Eateth of my Flesh"!
Thanks to Edward October at OctoberpodVHS for bringing authors and artists together for "Once Upon a Time in Transylvania"!
Thanks for listening and godspeed, monsterbators!
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Surprise bonus episode! In "Many Things About Tomorrow" by Bret Norwood, it's the near future and the world is on "Pandemic 3" when Dawson Watkins leads his family up into the mountains in what he believes to be the End Times. Will it be an armed confrontation with the Sheriff's department or the two demons that have been following him to cause his downfall?
But first, Patrick McGannon, paranormal investigator is on the verge of a cryptological breakthrough!
Please make sure you're subscribed and be sure to rate and review on Apple Podcasts! Your support means the world to us and keeps this show afloat! You can also sign up for the MP newsletter on our website, MonsterPornPodcast.com, to get bonus content and our forthcoming digital magazine.
Thanks and godspeed, monsterbators!
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In MP051 - "Break," college student Claire's life is disrupted by a sudden psychotic break. As she learns to deal with her new reality, there is one hallucination that stands out from the others, the grizzled old man with the elk antler cane. Matt Cummins brings you paranormal horror of psychiatric decline.
But first, what has Patrick McGannon, paranormal investigator turned preserved head-in-a-jar, been up to while Matt and Bret were on their quest to find Stephen King? Who (or what) is Cassiopeia?
Monsterbators, drop your email at MonsterPornPodcast.com to get our newsletter and additional content including the MP digital magazine!
If you enjoyed this episode of Monster Porn: Weird Fiction & Horror Podcast, please make sure that you're subscribed and please consider leaving MP a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Thanks for listening, monsterbators!
Music:"The Zahir (Monster Porn Podcast Theme)" by Bret Norwood"Spookster" by Wayne Jones (as Patrick McGannon, PI Theme)"Gloam" and "Saint Doubt" by Bret Norwood
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Surprise bonus episode! In "Aliens Exist? The UFO Conspiracy," it is the early 1960's and a man has been changed forever by a UFO sighting. In fact, he's gone full-Mulder and has to know the truth, and now a whistle-blower going by "Sinatra" is trying to tell him the world somehow managed to forget that one of these discs CRASHED at Roswell in 1947! It's nearly too much to believe...until his next terrifying encounter, which reveals the horrible depth of the UFO conspiracy!
But first, Alex Jones and David Icke join Bret for a conspiracy roundtable...Brace yourselves for weird!
Drop your email at MonsterPornPodcast.com to get our upcoming digital magazine and regular newsletter! Subscribe now and we'll throw in a free UFO abduction (probe included!!)!
If you enjoyed this episode of Monster Porn, please make sure you're subscribed and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! It helps our show continue and grow! Thanks to all our monsterbators for your support!
Follow MP on social media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (@monsterPr0n)
Godspeed!
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FIFTY episodes, monsterbators! THANK YOU for making this happen! Today, Monster Porn presents the Pastoress with "A God-Shaped Hole" by Bret Norwood.
Get exclusive and bonus MP content by signing up for the Monster Porn newsletter at our website MonsterPornPodcast.com, or watch Facebook for the link! Trueborn monsterbators who sign up will get access to our forthcoming digital magazine!
"Pastoress: A God-Shaped Hole" continues the Pastoress story that began in episode 12 and continues through episodes 23, 29, 39, and 41! They're all in a playlist on Youtube to make it easy!
But first, the King Quest comes to a conclusion as Matt finds the truth about Stephen King's conspiracy to maintain dominion over the horror genre! If you're lost, the Quest began back in episode 45! But if it's any consolation, we're effin' lost too!
Thanks for taking this journey with us, monsterbators! If you are feeling love for us, please make sure you're subscribed and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Every little bit helps!
Godspeed, monsterbators!
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Good day, monsterbators! Today's episode is a little different. Due to circumstances of the coronavirus, Matt and Bret offer you two stories from isolation. Matt reads "Pass Times," in which an all-American boy born to the wrong era is thrilled to find an ice cream truck, an ice cream truck that is not only also out of its own time, but out of its own world.
Then we need to issue a parental advisory for explicit content for Bret's satirical tale, "The Future Is Boned, or: Why Did the Incel Cross the Road?"
Our dear monsterbators, be sure to subscribe and leave MP a review on Apple Podcasts! These little things help support this podcast!
We hope you're all well out there, whether camping at home like I have been this week or still working out there in the world to keep it running.
Godspeed, monsterbators!!
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Today on MP: Weird Fiction & Horror Podcast: "Cupid: Bringer of Dreams, Maker of Nightmares" by Bret Norwood! A primordial force re-emerges during a university field trip to the museum, an entity that could humble the Olympian gods, to whom the mightiest men are but toys...Behold the highest horror, a terror beyond the reach of Titans...Cupid.
But first, Bret comes-to in a strange, wet place...in isolation...The King Quest is interrupted, but sometimes the King comes to *you*...The Corn is forever, for him who believes!
Please, if you enjoy this humble horrorshow, consider leaving MP a review on Apple Podcasts, and please be sure you're subscribed on your favorite platform. Thanks, monsterbators, for your support!
Check out the Official Monster Porn Store at https://monsterpornpodcast.com/store where you can find hope and dreams and true love and t-shirts.
Follow MP on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook!
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Matt Cummins brings you body horror in today's feature, "The Battle of the Bulge!" Max isn't convinced about his wife Lizzie's desire to have another kid. He also isn't sure about the squat little fertility goddess she's placed on the nightstand and to which the kids have mysteriously decided to start leaving offerings...Warning: this episode is graphic! It starts with homegrown c-cups and ends with a homemade c-section today on Monster Porn!
But first, Matt continues to drag Bret and Puggles on his quest to Stephen King's Maine estate, a saga which began in MP045 and which brings them today to the town of Derry.
Thanks for listening, monsterbators!
Be sure you're subscribed, and if you can spare a minute leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Your support allows us to keep doing what we do!
You can also check out the Monster Porn Store at https://monsterpornpodcast.com/store
Are you a weird writer? Monster Porn is open to short bonus episode submissions! https://monsterpornpodcast.com/submissions
Godspeed!
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Today on Monster Porn: Weird Fiction & Horror Podcast: it's barbarian fantasy with "The Heart Where Once Was a Hole" by Bret Norwood, introducing the barbarian Wroth. In this sword and sorcery fiction, Wroth the barbarian seeks roots in a foreign, civilized country and accepts work from an alluring sorceress...but the work is not what was advertised!
But first, Matt, Bret, and Puggles remain on their road trip quest to investigate a mystery at Stephen King's Maine home. A truck stop along the way hearkens back to something from Night Shift on this maximum overdrive adventure.
Thanks to all our monsterbators for listening and leaving the awesome Apple Podcasts reviews!
If you enjoy barbarian fantasy, sword and sorcery, weird fiction, horror, the Lovecraftian, etc, be sure you're subscribed on your preferred podcast app!
Visit the official Monster Porn store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store!
Godspeed!
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Matt drags Bret and Puggles on a quest to see the King--one Mr. Stephen King--and prove the conspiracy to ruin Matt's career as a horror author! Who is Joe Hill and does he have a belly button? Will they leave Salem's Lot with a used car? All this and the military horror story "For Your Service" by Matt Cummins on today's episode of Monster Porn: Weird Fiction & Horror Podcast.
Veteran Alex returns from Iraq and, like many, finds it difficult to settle back into civilian life...The demonic child soldier who stalks him in the shadows and whispers of the worms within the sand doesn't make it any easier...
Thanks for listening, monsterbators! Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support keeps us alive!
Visit the official Monster Porn store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store!
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and real life if you want a restraining order!
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Monster Porn presents science fiction (with a dash of horror) in "The Cow in Reverse" by Bret Norwood. A dropship lands on Allworld containing ten dozen listless, serene guests from the star system called "The Rose." As Allworld displays its hospitality for the visitors, and through the search for signs of an alien intelligence among them capable of having built and piloted the ship, it becomes clear that the Roseans did not send themselves. But then...who did, and why?
This is a science fiction story in the spirit of Ursula Le Guin about the unintelligibility of alien cultures, the difference between sentience and sapience, animal cruelty, and factory farming.
If you love Monster Porn (the podcast), be sure you're subscribed on your favorite podcast app and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Every little bit of support helps this show grow.
Visit the official Monster Porn Store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store!
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Monster Porn presents a weird wampus cat of the West in the horror story "Ghost Cat" by Bret Norwood. Brooklyn is about to graduate high school and embark on her adult life, but her father bought a house on the site of a massacre from the Indian Wars, and now there's a peculiar puma pacing along the ridge in the evening...
"Ghost Cat" transposes the Southern wampus cat to the West, and makes it a little more sinister for this horror story. Please note that the story is intended neither to be a work of history nor a work of anthropology, but a work of entertainment, and it takes liberties with the wampus cat, Western history, and Lakota Sioux tradition.
Also, today, the hosts get in touch with their horse sides.
Thanks for the Apple Podcast reviews! Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. There's also the official Monster Porn Store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store!
Thanks for listening and godspeed! Hyah!
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Get your tinfoil hats and sex robots ready 'cause we're going to bunker down for doomsday in this post-apocalyptic episode, "10qt" by Matt Cummins. In this sci-fi horror satire, you may notice that the day after tomorrow looks a little like the day before tomorrow.
If you enjoy Monster Porn, I mean this podcast, make sure you're subscribed and PLEASE leave MP a review on Apple Podcasts. You can also visit the official MP store at MonsterPornPodcast.com/store!
Check out War & Horses, the new weird West short illustrated novel from Oneshi Press. www.oneshipress.com
Are you a weird writer--no, I mean, like a *weird* writer? We're still open for bonus episode submissions. See our guidelines at MonsterPornPodcast.com/submissions
Thanks, monsterbators! See ya in two weeks!
Music:"The Zahir (Monster Porn Podcast Theme)" by Bret Norwood"Hostility" by Bret Norwood"Dramatic Swarm" by Doug MaxwellSFX:"Chainsaw" by JFBSAUVE CC-BY "Chainsaw Start" by Jedo CC-0
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In "Pastoress: Midnight Mass," Naomi shuns the Pastoress following the tragic ending of "Whosoever Believeth," and the Pastoress goes alone to investigate a quarry when things go sideways. BUT FIRST LET'S SLEIGH SANTA! Welcome to Monster Porn.
Make sure you're subscribed on your preferred app, and if you love the show be sure to leave MP a review on Apple Podcasts.
Check out the Monster Porn Store at monsterPornPodcast.com/store where you can find t-shirts, phone cases, stickers, the Moms Love Monster Porn mug, dangerous snakes, a glass of water, and the true meaning of Christmas.
Merry Christmas, monsterbators!
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Today, Monster Porn presents...uh, the closest thing to actual monster porn we've possibly run to-date. In the weird sci-fi story, "Sucker" by Bret Norwood, it's like the acclaimed film The Arrival, but it's the smut knock-off of the same.
Please note, when you listen to this episode, that we're not necessarily saying the mandrake crybabies are *wrong* about Disney Star Wars...
If you enjoy this interstellar tentacle action, be sure you're subscribed and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you have just one minute. It helps us a ton!
Check out the Monster Porn Store at monsterpornpodcast.com/store!
We're open for bonus episode submissions! See our guidelines at monsterpornpodcast.com/submissions.
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram (@monsterPr0n), and Twitter (@monsterPr0n)!
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