Afleveringen
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In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall, a counsellor with a PhD in hoarding, to discuss the phenomenon of digital hoarding, where people accumulate excessive digital items.
We'll explore the emotional responses to losing digital content, the organisational and environmental implications of digital clutter, and strategies for managing our ever-growing digital lives.
From the nostalgic pull of old photos to the overwhelming influx of emails, this conversation reveals the surprising similarities between physical and digital hoarding.
Introduction to Digital HoardingDefinition of digital hoardingComparison with physical hoarding, highlighting similar stress, anxiety, and attachment.Emotional Responses to Digital LossNon-hoarders experiencing emotions like anger and anxiety over losing digital items.Technological Advancements and Digital StorageThe proliferation of digital content creation, especially digital photos.Impact of technology on creating and storing digital content.Historical context of storage limitations versus current capabilities.Broader Implications of Digital HoardingExtending beyond photos and videos to emails, subscriptions, and digital accounts.Cybersecurity risks and financial costs associated with digital hoarding.Reasons we retain digital content.Emotional Attachment and Digital DataEmotional ties to digital items like photos and documents.Reflecting identity and memory triggers in digital possessions.Digital Organisation StrategiesHost's impeccably organised digital life contrasted with a cluttered home.Tiago Forte's PARA method for prioritising digital items.Inbox Zero and maintaining an organised email setup.Challenges of Digital ClutterVolume over efficiency: issues accessing necessary information despite organised files.Parallels between digital and physical hoarding behaviours.Digital Inefficiency and Environmental ImpactWasted time, reduced focus, and productivity issues due to digital clutter.Significant carbon footprint of data centres and environmental concerns.Strategies for Managing Digital ClutterReducing digital intake by unsubscribing from unnecessary emails and content.Advice on stopping excessive bookmarking and managing browser tabs.Importance of setting up email filters to streamline email management.Creating physical keepsakes from special digital photos for meaningful interaction.Permission Slip SegmentDiscussion on evaluating difficult-to-discard items for sentimental or practical reasons. -
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In today's episode of That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding podcast, I'm joined by Kendra Adachi, author of "The Plan, Manage Your Time Like a Lazy Genius," as we explore self-compassion and realistic productivity. We'll discuss cultural differences in self-trust, the pitfalls of traditional planning, and how small, manageable steps can lead to meaningful progress. Kendra's insights challenge societal expectations and underscore the importance of kindness and contentment in our daily lives.
Self-Trust and Societal InfluencesCultural differences in self-trust between men and womenWomen's challenges with self-trustUnderstanding systemic influencesEncouragement of kindness and acceptance towards oneselfSocietal Expectations and Productivity PressureCritique of the "hustle" culture and pressure for excellenceContentment as opposed to constant optimisationKindness to oneself as an alternative to relentless improvementResistance to the idea of contentmentContentment and Self-CompassionContentment not the same as giving upDefining contentment as awareness and appreciation of the presentSelf-compassion as a holistic life perspectiveContentment and making mistakesHoarding and Mindset ShiftsProblem with future-focused thinkingImportance of prioritising what matters to usShifting mindset towards valuing fewer things and creating spaceKinder approach to oneself and questioning what we have lose by trying contentmentIntegration vs. GreatnessEmbracing integration over achieving greatnessHonouring emotions and practicing self-kindnessGoal setting challenges and adopting flexible approachesShrinking priorities to manage overwhelmPlanning and Productivity ChallengesDiscussion on why many struggle with planning and productivityUnrealistic expectations from productivity expertsInternalisation of failure for unmet expectationsDisparity in authorship vs. readership of time management booksThe Lazy Genius Way and Practical StrategiesIntroduction to concepts from "The Lazy Genius Way"Principles of "going in the right order" (naming what matters, calming the chaos, trusting oneself)Encouragement of smaller, manageable stepsPotential for meaningful change despite societal pressures -
Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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In today's episode, I chat with Jo Cavalot, a compassionate inquiry practitioner and coach, about tackling executive dysfunction through a unique concept called "fibble", designed to help those struggling with focus and organisation. Jo shares her insights into treating internal parts with kindness, her own journey of recovery, and how she co-created Fibble as a tool to understand and manage executive function challenges. We explore the importance of personalised support in overcoming obstacles, and Jo offers a special discount for listeners interested in her work.
Importance of a compassionate approachInternal family systems and parts work.Viewing internal parts as friends with individual needs.Differentiating exploratory sessions from physical organisation tasks.Executive Dysfunction and 'Fibble' ConceptChallenges of executive dysfunction, specifically among people who hoard.Use of the 'fibble' acronym: Frustrated, Inadequate, Baffled, Befuddled, Lacking, and Exhausted.Fibble as a practical toolJo Cavalot's experience with alcoholismParallel between Jo's alcohol experience and hoarding.Emotional challenges and non-linear nature of recovery.Emphasis on self-awareness and self-compassion.Jo's significant life changes, like moving to Spain and involvement in the Camino de Santiago.Motivation through personal recovery and organisational skills.Involvement and motivation in Hoarding Disorders UK.Compassionate Inquiry, Based on Dr. Gabor Mate's work, focusing on trauma's impact.Positive impacts on clients with hoarding behaviours and related trauma.Key Challenges and Strengths in Addressing OrganisationCommon challenges: sustained attention, organisation, self-activation, planning, and prioritising.Creative problem-solving as a strength.Flexible thinking and stress tolerance.Use of a questionnaire assessing executive functioning across environments.Understanding and leveraging diverse personal strengths.Varying self-activation for personal vs. others' tasks.Goal Setting and PersonalisationPersonalised tools over generic advice.Introduction of the Ikigai concept in goal setting.Use of the fibble questionnaire for personal assessment and support.Understanding and Addressing Underlying CausesIdentifying trauma responses and underlying causes.Adjusting expectations based on life circumstances.Holistic and trauma-informed support for personal challenges. -
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In this episode, I’m joined by Steve Chapman, an artist and coach, to talk about working creatively with your inner critic. We talk about understanding this inner voice as a misguided protector rather than an enemy and explore creative approaches like drawing or dancing with your critic to better engage with it. However sceptical you may be about it, listen to us talk about finding compassion for that voice in your head and how art can be a therapeutic ally in your journey. Even if, like me, you cannot draw!
Steve Chapman: artist, writer, speaker, coach, with a background in Gestalt psychology, improv theatre, coaching, and art therapy.Discussion on creativity, imperfection, being stuck, shame, and the inner critic.Struggles with a harsh inner critic for years.Perspective shift influenced by the song "Hi Ren"Insights on the Inner CriticInner critics act as misguided protectors from early childhood.An approach to understand inner critics rather than fight them.Creative Approach to the Inner CriticDrawing or creative engagement to externalise and personify the inner critic.Small creative experiments to better understand the inner critic.The therapeutic nature of experimenting with art.Inner Critic & Self-CompassionDeveloping a compassionate relationship with the inner critic.Thich Nhat Hanh on nurturing inner energy.Dealing with worry through acceptance and self-compassion.Art as a method to engage with emotions and inner criticResonates with others and serves as a therapeutic tool.Shame & VulnerabilityShame thrives in secrecy; exposing it diminishes its power.Importance of bringing shame to light as discussed by Brene Brown.Comfort and DiscomfortFinding a balance between comfort and distress.Advocates for taking small steps toward addressing discomfort.Discussing mental health openly demonstrates personal growth and reduced stigma.Working with different materials for creative exploration.Workshops begin without set goals to allow creativity to flourish.Dealing with Inner CriticsAwareness of inner critics as part of being human and lifelong process.Engaging with the inner critic in a playful rather than adversarial way.Therapeutic Work and Community SupportValue of in-depth therapeutic work and community support in managing inner critique.Artistic Abilities and PerceptionsSocietal pressures influence perception of artistic ability.Chapman aims to inspire and counter feelings of inadequacy.Role of Continuous Exploration in ArtArt viewed as an ongoing process rather than a definitive product.Tuning into emotions and body sensations beyond verbal communication. -
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In this episode, I explore how the change of seasons can inspire and motivate dehoarding efforts, with autumn in the northern hemisphere and spring in the southern hemisphere being upon us. Drawing on traditions like harvest festivals and spring cleaning, we'll discuss how nature’s rhythms can support our journey toward a more organised home. Plus, personal insights on managing the emotional challenges of letting go and tips for embracing seasonal transitions as opportunities for growth.
Seasonal Influence on DehoardingAutumn MotivationMixed feelings: beauty vs. precursor to winterHarvest festivals: gratitude and inspiration for giving and declutteringNesting instincts as a motivational tool for organizingSpring MotivationSymbolism of renewal and hopeGrowth and change as motivators for overcoming hoarding disorderSpring cleaning tradition as an opportunity for new beginningsEmotional Aspects of DeclutteringAcknowledge and understand feelings like overwhelm, anxiety, confusion, and fearUse emotions to gain self-insight and understand attachment to itemsSeek support from therapists, friends, family, or professional organisersPractical Steps for DehoardingAssess possessions when transitioning between seasonsEvaluate practical use of items like blankets and coatsDecluttering inspired by seasonal changesFocus on small areas to avoid overwhelmSmall, consistent changes over dramatic onesSet realistic goals for home improvements by New YearCommunity and SupportEngage in dehoarding accountability sessions for communal supportDonating items to reduce unnecessary storageAssess what you want for your home as the year end approachesAiming for improvement, maintenance, or worsened state?Set intentionsWalking, observing nature, and journalingCreating Rituals and Redefining ComfortSuggest creating rituals in tune with seasonal changes to aid declutteringRedefine comfort by reducing clutter rather than accumulating moreHighlight the importance of a comfortable, decluttered space for winter -
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On this episode, I share my experience from being a guest on Death, Sex & Money with Anna Sale. Then I dig into the idea of wanting things but still choosing not to have them and how it applies to various aspects of life, especially for those of us dealing with hoarding disorder. I’ll discuss how the disorder can distort our perception of items, leading to irrational attachments. I look at how desires often change over time, the unhealthy attachments formed for identity, comfort, or security, and how fear of regret can hinder the decluttering process.
Choosing Not to Have Desired ItemsDistortion of item perception in hoarding disorderTemporary nature of desiresSafety and clutter concernsEmotional and Irrational AttachmentsUnderstanding and challenging emotional attachmentsExploring reasons for keeping or acquiring itemsAddressing “irrational” beliefsDealing with fear of regretJoy from finding things often surpasses regret (Jasmine Sleigh's insight)Managing regret is possibleDecision-making with clutter in mindNot Retaining Items for OthersIt's not our responsibility to keep items for othersPrioritising personal and familial well-beingSetting boundaries regarding others' potential desiresFeeling loss, fear, sadness, and nostalgiaAcknowledgment and validation of these feelingsCommunicating fears and emotionsRecognising and challenging irrational thoughts and feelingsCelebrating small victories without adding more clutterLiberation and freedom from letting goMisinterpreting laziness as anxietyAnxious sloth and decreased productivity -
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In today’s episode, I’m chatting with Dr. Jan Eppingstall, a Melbourne-based counsellor, about what it means to take a trauma-informed approach to hoarding disorder. Stick around as we break down why understanding trauma is crucial for effective support and treatment.
Trauma-informed approaches to understanding and treating hoardingImportance of understanding trauma's impactConcerns about wellbeing inquiries without adequate support preparationCollaboration in Trauma-Informed CarePractical Implementation for Non-Therapy Roles**Incorporate trauma-informed principlesSensitivity to potential triggersMisconceptions and CommunicationFear factor surrounding trauma and its treatmentDetailed trauma disclosure unnecessary for effective supportClient Autonomy and Professional BoundariesRespecting clients' communication preferencesRetraumatisation in HoardingHarm of forced clearances and strangers touching possessionsNegative impact of language and actions on hoardersRespectful Support PracticesBuilding TrustImportance of building trust before intervening in a hoarder's spaceEnsuring professionals genuinely practice trauma-informed careOver-explaining as a stress responseBroad approach of trauma-informed careFactors influencing trauma perceptionTrauma DefinitionTrauma and HoardingCommonality of trauma in hoarding historiesA supportive framework rather than a treatment modelFive Pillars of Trauma-Informed CareAssuming trauma backgrounds in hoarding behaviour clientsLoss of Control in TraumaTrauma involves loss of control; care pillars help restore itTracking and managing nervous system responsesImportance of recognising client-specific signsTerm misuse by minimally trauma-informed trained professionalsDangers of Misleading Trauma Informed ClaimsProper understanding of trauma to avoid harmNon-therapists adopting trauma-informed principlesImportance of feeling present and calm during therapyTeaching clients to feel safe and groundedClear Boundaries in TherapyTrauma Types and Responses**Variability of traumaExplanation of retraumatisationManaging Retraumatisation -
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In this episode, I look at two major – and opposing – strategies for dehoarding: "swallow the frog," where you handle the toughest task first, and "save the worst till last," which focuses on building confidence with easier tasks. I'll discuss the benefits and drawbacks of each approach and offer tips for blending them to fit your unique needs. Join to learn how to break down the overwhelming task of dehoarding into manageable steps.
Swallowing the FrogBest when preventing access to essential areas (e.g., cooker, bath).Tackling tough tasks first can improve home functionality and reduce stress.Saving the Worst Till the LastBuilding confidence in dehoarding.Tasks that are emotionally charged but less visibly impactful (e.g., old photos).Utilising both approaches based on emotional resilience and situational needs.Experimentation with both strategies.Reflect on personality and typical approaches to difficult tasks.Planning strategies based on task suitability and personal motivation.Curiosity and trying different methods.Observing outcomes and refining methods.Balancing approaches for optimal dehoarding progress.Embracing flexible planning and adjusting as needed.Breaking Down TasksBreaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps.Working for shorter, focused periods with breaks to prevent burnout.Building ConfidenceAddressing easier tasks first to build capability for more challenging tasks.Sorting manageable items before tackling emotionally difficult possessions.Mixing both "Swallow the Frog" and "Save the Worst Till Last" strategies.Examination of the psychological impact of task management.Discussing mental barriers, procrastination, and overwhelm.Emphasis on efficiency and making progress to avoid demoralisation.Strategies to manage overwhelming dehoarding tasksIdentifying the "frog."Two opposite strategies for handling hard tasks.Resolve tasks early to minimise stress and discomfort.Breaking tasks into smaller chunks mitigates overwhelming discouragement.Starting with easier tasks provides steady motivation.Procrastination perpetuates stress from avoiding major tasks.Ease into dehoarding with manageable tasks first.Try both approaches, observe, adapt, and refine.Examining two strategies for tackling hard tasks in the context of dehoarding: "swallow the frog" (address tough tasks first) vs. saving the worst for last, focusing on their psychological impact on barriers, procrastination, and efficiency.Completing tasks alleviates stress and builds momentum for future tasks.Swallowing the frog can be discouraging if tasks are tougher than expected. Break tasks into smaller chunks to avoid demoralisation. Identify and prioritise your most challenging tasks, such as urgent issues or emotionally taxing items.Starting with smaller tasks provides steady motivation and achievement, offering quick wins that boost morale and maintain long-term productivity.Procrastination on the most urgent task causes continuous stress and anxiety, overshadowing achievement of smaller tasks.Start with moderately hard tasks, gradually advancing to harder tasks over time. Adapt approaches based on task suitability.Start with easier tasks to build confidence when dehoarding, and save emotionally challenging items for later. Use both approaches as needed based on your situation.Try both approaches and observe which helps you make the most progress. Keep adapting and refining based on your observations. -
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In today's episode, I’ll help you identify the triggers that make us want to acquire stuff and how to use that knowledge to combat the urges to buy impulsively. We’ll explore practical strategies like observing urges, delaying reactions, and using distractions to curb impulsive buying. Plus, we’ll uncover the deeper emotional and environmental triggers that drive compulsive shopping and how to address them.
Emotional TriggersIdentifying emotional triggers like stress, sadness, boredom, and anxiety.Understanding the role of dopamine in shopping behaviours.Recognising the temporary distraction of shopping from negative emotions.Environmental TriggersDiscussing how shopping environments stimulate purchases through strategic design.Marketing tactics designed to exploit spending prompts.Ecommerce OptimisationStrategies ecommerce websites use to maximise purchases.Seamless and tempting buying experiences.Ease of AccessThe convenience and immediacy of online shopping.Encouraging impulsive purchases through immediate gratification.Social TriggersThe influence of peer pressure, FOMO, and social validation.Buying to fit in or earn social approval.Self-Reflection and ValuesEvaluating whether purchases align with personal values.Seeking meaningful praise beyond materialistic validation.Journaling as a ToolIdentifying and understanding personal triggers through journaling.Noting emotions, activities, and feelings before and after purchases.Pattern IdentificationAnalysing journal entries to identify shopping patterns and triggers.Behaviour Change and AvoidanceAdjusting behaviour to avoid known triggers.Implementing stress management techniques to handle stress-induced shopping.Mindfulness for Identifying TriggersEncouraging presence and consciousness in the moment.Observing sensations, thoughts, and feelings without judgment.Enhancing self-awareness for deliberate actions.Observing UrgesAcknowledgment of the urge to buy and sitting with it.Comparing urges to waves – they rise and fall.Practicing distress tolerance during unpleasant urges.Delayed Reaction TechniqueDelaying purchase decisions to avoid impulsive buys.Starting with short delays (e.g. 1 minute) and extending them.Developing longer periods without giving in to urges over time.Distraction as a ToolEngaging in alternative activities.Contacting friends and talking through the urge.Reducing immediate impulses through distraction.Addressing the Root CausesFocusing on underlying issues (anxiety, depression, boredom).Pursuing therapy, self-help resources, lifestyle changes, or medical treatment.Avoiding TriggersAvoiding people or environments that encourage unnecessary shopping.Finding alternatives to shopping activities.Shopping in places that minimise impulse-buying triggers.Complexity and DifficultyAcknowledging the multifaceted nature of combating buying urges.Recognising triggers and managing urges requires effort and practice.Host’s personal experiences with guilt and shame from compulsive buying.Discussing the financial strain and relationship stress caused by impulsive purchases.Emphasising the mental and emotional health impacts.Impulsive shopping causes financial and relationship stress.Emotional triggers can lead to impulsive shopping.Awareness of emotions can reduce impulsive shopping.External triggers and dopamine drive impulsive buying.Question purchases' true value.Praise for values is deeper than material praise.Mindfulness helps identify triggers by observing sensations.Address anxiety holistically, considering therapy and lifestyle.Avoid triggers to reduce compulsive buying impulses.September's update for Dehoarding Darlings includes extras and a Q&A with Jan. Sign up at overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/darling.Bi-monthly dehoarding Zoom sessions: Sunday evenings (UK), Friday mornings (UK).Impulsive shopping causes financial and relationship stress, guilt, and clutter. Today's episode explores triggers to address and mitigate these issues.Emotional triggers like stress, boredom, sadness, and anxiety can lead to impulse shopping as a temporary escape, though this often results in further stress due to added clutter and financial strain.Awareness of evening fatigue helped me stop shopping out of boredom or anxiety. Recognising emotional triggers can prevent impulsive purchases.Marketing and environmental triggers compel people to buy impulsively for dopamine hits, involving extensive research.It feels great to get social validation from buying items, but it's worth questioning if possessions define our identity and relationships.Identify triggers for impulsive buying through self-reflection and journaling to align purchases with personal values.Mindfulness helps identify triggers by being present, aware of feelings, sensations, and thoughts, leading to greater self-awareness and deliberate actions.Address anxiety and depression through therapy, lifestyle changes, and avoiding triggers, rather than impulsive shopping.Avoid environments that trigger unnecessary shopping to break the habit. Find alternatives like meeting friends in different places or shopping online. -
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In this episode, Dr. Jan Eppingstall and I are exploring the impact of self-stigma and societal responsibility in hoarding. We look in depth at stigma and how it affects individuals with mental health conditions, especially hoarding disorder, and how self-stigma can damage us and prevent us from seeking help. Plus, we introduce a new segment — "permission slip". Stay tuned for some outtakes at the end!
Impact of Public Stigma and Self-StigmaDr. Jan Eppingstall explains public stigma, including stereotypes, prejudice, and discriminationKey facets of public stigma: difference, disdain, and blameUnderstanding Self-Stigma and Public StigmaHow stereotypes can affect self-stigma, using people's reactions to TV shows as an exampleThe implications of self-stigma, including low self-esteem, hopelessness, and reluctance to seek treatmentThe interlinking of public stigma, self-stigma, shame, and self-consciousness, as well as self-blame and the impact of self-stigma on seeking helpVariation in mental illness stereotypes by disorderIntroduction of the "permission slip" segmentDiscussion on the compulsion to keep things and the completionist mindsetInfluence of Socioeconomic Status on Mental Illness StigmaConversation about the perception of hoarding based on socioeconomic status and the value of items being keptComparison of hoarding in different contexts: ample space and financial means versus living in a cramped environmentImpact of space and wealth on hoarding, highlighted through a documentary about Celine Dion and her extensive costume collectionAcceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in Addressing Self-StigmaDr. Eppingstall outlines the ACT approach, focusing on personal values and psychoeducation on relational frame theory to address self-stigmaCognitive behavioural therapy techniques like reframing and peer support groups to combat self-stigma, as well as radical acceptance through a 10-step processInfluence of Cultural Beliefs and Social Factors on StigmaDiscussion of the influence of cultural beliefs on mental illness stigma, including the impact of social factors on self-stigmatisationProtective factors against self-stigmatisation: quality of life, social relationships, and cultural acceptance of mental illnessThe impact of societal influences on self-stigma and the importance of understanding one's thought patterns without trying to banish themExternal stigma's potential influence on self-stigma, with a suggestion that marginalised individuals facing more external stigma might be more susceptible to self-stigmatisationInternalised social stigma leads to negative self-concept.Self-stigma affects help-seeking behaviours negatively.Questioning stigmatisation and hoarding in media.Cultural stigma influences self-stigmatisation of mental illness.Communities’ response to mental illness.Self-stigma's impact varies based on individual factors.Internalised stigma is the acceptance of negative societal stereotypes.Self-stigma creates harm, deters seeking help.Reflection on hoarding stigma and societal perceptions.Public stigma in different cultures affects self-stigmatisation and attitudes toward mental illness and treatment.Reflecting on community's approach to mental illness and its impact on self-stigma.Practicing radical acceptance, using self-acceptance talk and behaviour changes to move forward.Self-stigma affects people differently based on various factors such as personality, upbringing, and society. Different societies can influence how people perceive and react to self-stigma. -
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Today, I explore the reality of dehoarding. From the thrilling sense of accomplishment to the mundane, hard, and sometimes emotionally difficult aspects, I cover it all. Join me as I discuss the ups and downs of the journey and why loving the process isn't a requirement - getting it done is what counts.
The Importance of Persistence and Commitment in DehoardingThe need to keep going even when it's not thrilling or empoweringEmbracing the mundane and boring aspects of dehoardingUnderstanding that progress is more important than loving every moment of the processRecognising that dehoarding can include both rewarding and difficult experiencesUsing reminders of the end goal to cope with the challenging daysCompassion and Self-Care in the Dehoarding ProcessEmbracing self-compassion during difficult dehoarding daysUtilising self-care practices as a way to cope with the processUnderstanding the importance of acknowledging and validating difficult experiencesAcknowledging the necessity of perseverance and consistent effort in dehoardingCoping with Mundane and Monotonous Aspects of DehoardingRecognising the importance of routine in the dehoarding processStrategies and techniques to cope with monotony and boring tasksUnderstanding the difference between emotional highs and lows, and coping with routine tasksUtilising rewards and mindful strategies to cope with tedious dehoarding tasksRedefining Success in DehoardingUnderstanding that success is measured by effort, home improvement, and personal prideAcknowledging that dehoarding progress is not always thrilling or enjoyableEmbracing that progress is still progress, regardless of its size or level of excitementChallenging unrealistic expectations set by influencers and social media about dehoardingAction and Commitment Despite Feelings Towards DehoardingEncouragement to take at least one step in the right direction, regardless of loving the processEmbracing the idea that it's okay not to love dehoarding every minuteRecognising that commitment to dehoarding is a significant achievement in itselfAffirming the capability to create a space one feels at home in, despite the ups and downs of the journeyDehoarding doesn't have to feel thrilling.Difficulties come, but remember your purpose.Feeling overwhelmed is normal during the decluttering process, but progress matters more than celebrating every step.Self-care involves activities like hot baths, TV time, and walks, paired with self-compassion to be effective.Reward self, be mindful, focus on present, seek support, value effort over success.Embrace the journey, take steps forward. -
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In today's episode, I look at how the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, can revolutionise our approach to decluttering. I discuss how focusing on the 20% of our possessions that cause 80% of our problems can lead to more impactful change with less effort, and how identifying the 20% of tasks that show the biggest results can help us to manage our energy and make visible progress. Join me as I break down this principle and explore how it can transform our mindset and approach to dehoarding.
Introduction to the Pareto PrincipleExplanation of the Pareto Principle or the 80/20 ruleRelevance of the Pareto Principle to hoarding and home managementImpact of focusing on the 20% causing the most problemsIdentifying Impactful Tasks and ItemsThe impact of expending energy on low-level tasksImportance of prioritising impactful tasks for noticeable changeMaking a dent in belongings by focusing on impactful itemsBrief history of Vilfredo Pareto and his observationVarious contexts where the Pareto Principle is seen to applyValidation of the principle in different areasApplying the Pareto Principle to Your HomeStrategic thinking in identifying items causing disruptionIdentifying 20% of belongings used most oftenEnergy expenditure and impact of dehoarding actionsEmotional Attachment & Rational Decision MakingEmotional connection to belongingsEncouraging rational assessment of belongings' valueThe role of emotions in retaining or discarding itemsReassessing and Ongoing VigilanceNeed for ongoing reassessment as space is clearedImportance of reassessing the 20% causing problemsFrequency of reassessment and calibrating belongingsReflecting on the impact of the 80/20 rule in home managementPareto principle for hoarders.Pareto principle: 20% effort, 80% results.Reframe, prioritise, and declutter for efficient living.Identify essential items, discard unnecessary possessions strategically.Identify unnecessary items to make life easier.Reevaluate possessions and focus energy efficiently.Use the Pareto principle to focus on tasks with high impact.Identify and declutter items for a noticeable ease in daily life; use the 80/20 rule for organising and resolving space issues.Reassess belongings, focus on what matters. -
I look at an old fable from when I was little and how I’ve changed my view on it completely. And, of course, how it relates to hoarding – and dehoarding.
Acknowledging reaching 250,000 downloads for the podcastDehoarding fast vs. slow and steady approachThe benefits of dehoarding fastGetting a lot done in a short timeResponding to emergency situationsHarnessing sudden bursts of motivationThe risks of dehoarding fastBurnoutImpracticality of sustaining a fast pace in the long termEmphasising the importance of finding a balance between fast and slow dehoardingAcknowledging the benefits and drawbacks of both approachesThe significance of Aesop's fable "The Hare and the Tortoise"Initial scepticism about the fableUnderstanding the importance of perseverance and consistency over speedDrawing parallels between the fable and dehoardingPrimary Topic: Slow and steady work for dehoardingSustained approach for dehoarding the entire homeMaking habits or new behaviours stick and become habitualEnhancing slow progress with focus and documentationAchieving objective progress through slow and steady workSuitability for long-term planning and sustainable change in behaviours and beliefsRiding the wave when the urge to throw into action arisesRecognising when to work fastPotential drawbacks leading to complacency or exhaustionBalancing fast and slow dehoarding approachesFinding a balance for effective and sustainable progressAvoiding the pitfalls of extremes in dehoarding approachesFast action can be encouraging and valuable.Sustainable pace fosters effective dehoarding.Slow, steady progress towards a liveable home. -
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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Dr Jan Eppingstall has had an idea, and it is as revolutionary as it is terrifying. We talk about it!
Shifting focus from individual items to the bigger pictureCreating a guilt-free zone for a limited time to honour values and experience more joy and fun in the futurePutting aside certain values temporarily to create better conditions for the futureIntroduction of the concept of "household equilibrium"Understanding the emotional attachment to possessions based on lived experiencesBehavioural and Emotional Aspects of Discarding ItemsReluctance to discard out-of-date food due to guilt and fear of wasteEmotional connection to possessions and the importance of using themEncouraging the usage and enjoyment of possessionsTrauma-focused approach to discarding clutterCoping with the guilt and shame around wastefulnessMaking difficult decisions about discarding itemsExposure to letting go and small, less risky decluttering tasksLetting go of controlling outcomes and focusing on wellbeing over perfect disposalStarting with low-risk categories when decluttering, such as wrapping paperProve that terrible things do not happen when declutteringThe importance of proportionality in the decluttering processChildren's Belongings and Autonomy in DeclutteringClear guidelines for disposing of belongings that are not yoursContacting owners to collect items, especially for children's belongingsRevisiting keepsakes periodically to reassess their importanceRespecting children's decisions about their belongingsNavigating the decluttering process with understanding and sensitivityCreating a Safe and Comfortable Living EnvironmentImplementing an amnesty on existing rules and guidelinesSuspending the acquisition of new items to keep the space in equilibriumAllowing space for new interests and hobbies to enter one's life without guiltDesire for perfection leads to unnecessary clutter.Temporary pause for a more balanced life.Stay safe and open to new experiences.Encouraging use of gorgeous clothes in daily life.Helping people cope with guilt and clutter to prioritise their well-being.Desire for perfection in decision making and finding balance.Some people value frugality but need to let go sometimes.Focus on physical safety, declutter for new hobbies, no guilt.Facing fears leads to growth and relief from guilt.Recommendation to limit exposure to items and practice letting go to avoid regret.Encourage using and enjoying clothes, shoes.Expressing love for a cherished mug. -
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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
It’s the 150th episode, and I’ve got a special one for you. I’m tackling the 13 pieces of hoarding advice that you're really tired of hearing, and I’m hitting them head on! We've all been on the receiving end of well-meaning but utterly unhelpful advice when it comes to hoarding. From "just get rid of it" to "you're being lazy"… the list goes on. They may seem harmless, but they often overlook the emotional complexities and serious mental health challenges faced by people who hoard. Most importantly, I explain why these pieces of advice do more harm than good. Oversimplified solutions just won't cut it when it comes to overcoming hoarding disorder.
Terrible Hoarding Advice"Just get rid of it" underestimates the emotional attachmentEmotional attachment to possessionsOverwhelming nature of such advice"It's just stuff" overlooks the significance of possessionsThe significance of possessions to hoardersDismissal of the emotional connection to items"Get rid of things that don't spark joy" oversimplified and doesn't consider complexitiesOversimplification of the decluttering processFailure to recognise the complexities of hoarding disorderBlaming hoarders for being lazy, weak, or selfish is not helpfulStress and shame reinforcementThe impact of negative reinforcement on mental healthTelling hoarders to be embarrassed or ashamed is counterproductiveExacerbation of hoarding tendenciesImplications for mental health and stigma"Just get a skip" advice may create time pressure, anxiety, and public displayPressure and anxiety for hoardersPublic display of possessions and potential distressCleaning up a hoarder's space without consent creates mistrust and anxietyImpact on trust and mental well-beingReinforcement of trauma responsesSuggesting to sell or have a yard/car boot sale oversimplifies thingsComplexity of hoarding disorderDismissal of mental health issuesDecluttering advice of doing one room a day or week underestimates the difficultyEmotional challenges of decision-makingComplexity of hoarding disorderThree piles for keep, give away, and throw away is not effective as stand-alone adviceEmotional attachment and decision-makingComplexity of decluttering for hoardersTelling someone to try harder and give 100% effort at all times is unrealisticUnrealistic expectations and burnoutImpact on mental health and sustainabilityLong-term and complex nature of declutteringUnderstanding the complexity of the processMental and emotional focus of declutteringHoarding as a Complex ProcessComparison of decluttering to a marathonThe endurance required for declutteringCriticism of advice containing the word "just"Casual dismissal of hoarding tendenciesEncouragement to reconsider using "hoarder" casuallyImpact on stigma and understandingConsider emotional attachment in addressing hoarding issues.Hoarding disorder is complex and deeply personal.Blaming hoarders reinforces shame and hinder recovery.Skips can be a stressful solution.Car boot sale: a communal yard sale.Oversimplifying, dismissing mental health issues - not helpful.Avoid burnout by pacing and considering emotions.Simplify, declutter, and be mindful of health.Reconsider comparing mild mess to hoarding.Advice to declutter doesn't consider emotional attachment; drastic approach may cause fear and anxiety.Hoarding disorder is complex, possessions hold deep meaning, and one-size-fits-all approaches don't work.Blaming hoarding on laziness is unhelpful and untrue.Using skips as a solution for decluttering can create anxiety for some as it puts their possessions on public display.Car boot sales are similar to yard sales, with people selling items from their car boots in a car park on Sundays. Sellers might not get much for their cherished items.Avoid burnout by pacing efforts for long-term decluttering, including handling emotionally charged items with care.Casual use of mental health terms.Hoarding is not just about having too much stuff; it affects emotions and living conditions.Avoid comparing mild mess to hoarding. -
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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Susie Boutal is a qualified ADHD coach and decluttering expert. She joins me to talk about the intersection of ADHD, hoarding, and clutter. Susie shares valuable insights for anyone dealing with ADHD and hoarding. We cover the myth of laziness, the importance of open communication in relationships, managing hoarding behaviour, the impact of self-talk, and the influence of past experiences on self-perception and the responsibility to yourself and others in managing living spaces. Join us as we navigate the complexities of decluttering and hoarding with compassion and empathy, and gain valuable advice from Susie on nurturing a kinder inner dialogue.
Negotiations and Agreements in RelationshipsCompassionate Expression of NeedsImpact of Self-Talk and Past Experiences on Self-PerceptionNurturing a Kinder Inner DialogueOffering Yourself Compassion and EmpathyADHD and ClutterImpulsivityCompassionate Approach to Motivate DeclutteringGuilt and ShameBreaking Tasks into MicrotasksTips for People Dealing with ADHD and HoardingSelf-CompassionEstablishing Daily Non-negotiable RoutinesBreaking Down Tasks into Small GoalsApproaching Uncertainty as a Space of PossibilitiesOvercoming ProcrastinationIdentifying Procrastination TriggersBreaking Tasks into Achievable GoalsMaximise Productivity and Time ManagementReassessing Productivity in Small Time PeriodsUsing Small Time Intervals for DeclutteringAddressing Impulsivity in Acquiring ItemsFinding Long-Term PurposeManaging Living Spaces in RelationshipsOpen CommunicationSetting Non-Negotiable PrioritiesOvercoming decluttering barriers with 5-minute tasks.Find purpose by identifying goals, prioritise passions.Setting rules, responsibility, and personal growth awareness.Establishing boundaries and agreements in relationships.Recognising patternsImpact of words can last a lifetime.Establish routines, question resistance, break tasks down.Embrace uncertainty as a challenge, not a threat.Clutter linked to ADHD, trauma, mental health, impulsivity, and seeking new things.Focusing on microtasks for motivation and habit building.Decluttering seems overwhelming, but starting with small tasks can be motivatingFind purpose, set long-term goals, prioritise over short-term impulses.Setting rules and responsibility to overcome impulses and seek long-term goals.Open communication and defining nonnegotiables is crucial in living together respectfully.Negotiating boundaries and agreements in all relationships, including regarding space and activities.Recognising negative patterns, understanding origins, finding benefits in change, and being kinder to yourself.The lasting impact of hurtful words.Routines, self-reflection, and breaking tasks down.Embracing uncertainty leads to growth, while fear of uncertainty causes paralysis. -
Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Today, I talk about a woman who sold every single thing in her wardrobe and explore the lessons that can be learned from this drastic approach, discussing both the positive and less than ideal aspects of the woman's actions. Highlighting the importance of taking small actions and steering away from all-or-nothing thinking, I look at what we who have difficult home surroundings can learn from this
Acknowledging annoyance and taking action against it.Overcoming scarcity mindset and emotional attachments to possessions.Liberating to sell clothes, or all-or-nothing thinking?Gradual progress leads to lasting change and adaptation.Exploring actions and habits to address annoyances.Don't have to do extreme decluttering.Small actions are valuable.Incorporate new behaviours consistently.Slow progress is more effective than dramatic change for long-term success.Accepting and embracing feelings as a human reaction.Taking Action on AnnoyancesAcknowledging ongoing annoyancesTaking decisive action to address the problemDecisivenessBeing inspired by the woman's decisivenessOvercoming overthinking and indecisivenessFinding fulfillment and reward in making a dramatic changeFeeling liberated by having considerably less stuffLiving with Considerably LessRealising that living with less is not a threatThe protective nature of hoarding behaviourLess Ideal Aspects of Extreme ActionAll-or-Nothing ThinkingRecognising the danger of extremes in decision makingEmbracing the value of moderation and balanced actionSmall Actions versus Grand GesturesThe importance of small, consistent actions over grand gesturesBuilding lasting change through gradual progressOvercompensatingThe dangers of drastically clearing out possessionsGradual adaptation and adjustment to changeAccepting Feelings and ReactionsUnderstanding that feelings of overwhelm are a normal human experienceNo Secondary ShameRejecting the idea that feeling hard emotions is a source of shameOvercoming internalised beliefs about the negativity of emotions -
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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
With Dr Jan Eppingstall, today I delve into the fascinating world of habituation – which you might be familiar with as clutter blindness, but it’s so much more than that! – and its impact on our daily lives. We look at the role of habituation in hoarding, and offer practical techniques to revitalise our perspectives. Join us as we unravel the complexity of habituation and its relationship to hoarding, with valuable insights into improving our quality of life.
Habituation and its ImpactDefinition of habituationEvolutionary and innate nature of habituationHabituation as a form of non-associative learningRole of habituation in daily lifeIndividual experiences with habituationPositive, neutral, and negative aspects of habituationHabituation in hoarding behaviourHabituation and autistic peopleEffects of habituation on daily tasks and decision-makingHabituation in relation to clutter blindness and hoardingOvercoming HabituationTechniques for combatting habituationChanging daily routines and habitsUsing different modes of transportPerforming everyday tasks in different waysLooking at space through a different perspectiveThe need for a variety of approaches to combat habituationTechniques to break habitual patternsThe importance of stepping out of your comfort zoneThe importance of mixing up approaches and embracing what worksHabituation in Mental Health and TherapyDeliberate use of habituation in mental health treatmentExposure therapy and fear ladder approach in treating fears and phobiasGradual exposure therapy for specific fearsMaintenance of progress in overcoming fears and phobiasImplications of habituation for individuals with autism spectrum disorders in relation to hoardingInsight into habituation and its impact on hoarding behaviourTechniques and advice for combating habituationExamples of habituation in daily lifeExperience of habituation in hoarding behaviour and clutter blindnessThe impact of habituation on decision-making and compensating for clutterConnection between habituation, working memory, and people-pleasing behaviourUnderstanding the impact of habituation on decision-making and perceptionsStrategies for breaking habitual patterns and experiencing joyMindfulness and gratitude in daily lifeRekindling appreciation for familiar places and seeing them through fresh eyesEncouragement to find joy in life and invest in experiences over material possessionsNon-associative learning: Becoming accustomed to stimuli.Habituation serves necessary and neutral purposes.Skipping stages and creating fear ladder for hoarding.Clutter organization leads to joy, not regret.Habituation in hoarding leads to inaction.Removing obstacles can make daily tasks easier.Visual cues and externalising tasks aid memory.Self-sufficiencyObserving and changing habits leads to improvement.Experiences linger longer than material possessions.Habituation is normal and can be positive.Habituation is the process of becoming less responsive to repeated stimuli.Habituation serves purposes: prevent overwhelm, allow focus, survival. Good, neutral, negative aspects.Overstimulation and stimming behaviors.Reliance on visuals becomes less effective.Visual reminders and working memory limitations prompt use of external systems to record and remember tasks.Some people have a mindset of overcoming odds and finding resourceful solutions.Changing habits and mindset is key for improvement.Observing and reflecting on how things are done can lead to finding better, more efficient ways.The key is to have a mix of approaches for habit change.Variety is essential and embrace what works, even if just for a bit.The mind values experiences over possessions for lasting impact.Habituation is normal, can be positive, neutral, or negative, and can be used to reduce distress. -
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Incredible conversation with the ever-insightful KC Davis of Struggle Care. From discussing the impact of accumulating unused items to exploring the mental and emotional barriers people face in decluttering and tidying up, this episode covers a wide range of strategies and insights to help you on your dehoarding journey. We look at the shame and stigma associated with struggling with care tasks, including dehoarding, and the impact on individuals' self-worth and ability to seek help, and replace the shame with an approach rooted in self-compassion and moral neutrality towards care tasks. So if you're looking for practical tips, empathy, and support on your dehoarding journey, you won't want to miss this episode!
Understanding Care Tasks and StrugglesDefinition of "care tasks"Stigma and shame surrounding struggles with care tasksImpact on self-worth and ability to seek helpOvercoming Shame and StigmaFear and self-criticismImportance of self-compassion and supportive communityMotivation and the limitations of shameIndividualised solutions rooted in self-compassionThriftiness and environmental concernsStrategies for Task Initiation and MotivationChallenges for hoarders and those with ADHDDifferentiating motivation and task initiationSmall steps, transitions, and tools for task initiationStarting the Decluttering ProcessNo one right way to startMaking small decisions and using timersInvolving friends in parting with itemsOvercoming Emotional Barriers to DeclutteringImpact of accumulated items and their eventual outcome"5 things theory" to overcome resistanceAdjusting the tidying process and taking small steps consistentlyStrategies for Organising and Tidying UpBreaking tasks into smaller stepsVisual storage ideas and creating ritualsSetting priorities and challenging societal normsJudgments based on work, race, and appearanceMany people feel therapy isn't addressing their needs.Shame doesn't lead to lasting behaviour change.Self-help methods are not one-size-fits-all.Permission to accommodate leads to lasting change.Challenges of ADHD and executive functioning explained.Declutter by what I need, love, keep.Motivation leads to easier hard work and decluttering.Take small steps and make decisions.Break tasks into small steps.Community support for navigating vulnerability.Many people find online content more helpful than traditional therapy, reflecting societal attitudes towards seeking help.Shame and social pressure don't guarantee change.Self-help space lacks personalised solutions for diverse challenges. Universal methods don't address individual barriers and needs.People give themselves permission to accommodate and it leads to curiosity, not necessarily a finish line.Challenges with executive functioning and organisation due to ADHD, struggling with clutter and distractions.Sort items by frequency of use, happiness, and necessity. Prioritise what to keep, rather than what to discard.Motivation leads to easier wins, declutter by discussing meaningful items with friends.Taking small steps without pressure, performing tasks with enjoyable activities.Breaking tasks into smaller steps and utilising a simple action to initiate it. -
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Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
I watched a film, "Where Dragons Live," which struck a chord with themes of belongings, families, the meaning of our stuff, and the complexities of dealing with a loved one's stuff after they pass away. I talk about the deeper implications of what we leave behind. Join me as I reflect on the emotional impact of material possessions and the significance of our connections with others.
Film Review: Where Dragons LiveReview and discussion of the film "Where Dragons Live"Exploration of themes relevant to hoarding, family dynamics and privilegeReflection on the concept of treasuring and maintaining possessionsAnalysis of the film’s portrayal of mixed, nuanced emotions and reactionsExamination of the anxiety surrounding what we leave behind for othersEmphasis on the impact of hoarding on one's own life and grieving processPersonal reflection on the burden and worry of leaving behind a hoarding homeConsideration of the challenges faced by those sorting through a hoarded spaceInsight into the complexities of emotions and decision-making related to hoardingImpact Beyond PossessionsReflection on the value of relationships and connections beyond physical possessionsExamination of the meaningful impact individuals can leave on othersEmphasis on the significance of emotional and personal legaciesDiscussion of minimising physical clutter to alleviate stress for othersPersonal experiences related to friendships and legaciesReflection on the meaningful contributions individuals can make in others’ livesRecommendations for listeners to consider the impact they leave on othersEncouragement to prioritise meaningful connections over material possessionsMixed emotions lead to decision-making challenges.Grieving and hoardingOverwhelmLeave behind meaningful and powerful positive impact.Film subjects reflect on sentimental items.Grief and clearing out a hoarded home, finding value in the midst of overwhelming belongings.Leaving meaningful impact beyond material possessions.The film's focus on balancing material possessions with emotional valueMinimising belongings for others' sake. - Laat meer zien
