Afleveringen
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Handing your teen the keys to a car can feel like a huge milestone, for them and for you. It's exciting to watch them gain more independence, but if your teen has struggled in the past, it can also bring up a lot of fear. Can you trust them? Are you giving them too much freedom? What if something goes wrong?
The truth is, there isn't one right answer. Every teen is different, every family is different, and every situation deserves its own thoughtful approach.
But what if, instead of seeing a car as something you simply give your teen or help them finance, you viewed it as an opportunity? An opportunity to teach responsibility, build trust, practice healthy boundaries, and prepare your teen for adulthood.
When expectations are clear and consequences are discussed ahead of time, a car can become much more than transportation. It can become a valuable learning experience for your teen.
In this episode, Seth and I unpack the many decisions that come with having a new teen driver. We talk about how to think through ownership versus borrowing a family car, why responsibility should always come before freedom, and how to support your teen's growing independence without letting fear or anxiety take over your parenting.
In this episode on teen driver responsibilities, we discuss:
How to decide whether your teen is ready for the responsibility of drivingWhether it makes sense to buy your teen a car, share a family vehicle, or have them earn one themselvesWhy responsibility should always accompany greater freedomHow to set clear expectations and boundaries before handing over the keysWays to rebuild trust if your teen has made unsafe choices in the pastHow to reduce power struggles by letting natural consequences do the teachingWhy your own fears matter and how to make decisions from a place of wisdom instead of anxietyHow to create the right amount of support and independence for the unique teen in front of youLooking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
→ Leaving a review
→ Subscribing to the show
→ Sharing it with another parent!
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Before your teen can tell the truth, they need to feel safe enough to do it.
When your child lies, it's easy to feel hurt, betrayed, or even disrespected. But what if their lying isn't about manipulating you at all? What if it's simply their brain's attempt to avoid pain, shame, or consequences?
In this episode, Seth and I unpack one of the most frustrating challenges parents face: lying. Drawing from our own experiences as both, believe it or not, former teens, and adults working with struggling young people, we explore why lying is such a normal human behavior, why taking it personally often makes things worse, and how the way you respond can either create more defensiveness or open the door to honesty.
Instead of focusing on catching your teen in a lie, we invite you to shift your attention to building the kind of relationship where accountability feels safe. Because while you can't force honesty, you can create the conditions that make it much more likely.
In this episode on answering the question ‘why does my teen lie?’, we discuss:
Why your teen isn’t lying out of disrespect, but a much more sensible reason.How power struggles, lectures, and accusations can unintentionally encourage more lying.The difference between creating accountability and trying to force a confession.Practical ways to respond when you know, or strongly suspect, your teen isn't telling the truth.Why curiosity and emotional safety are far more effective than proving you're right.How changing your own responses can help build more trust and honesty over time.Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
Sharing it with another parent!
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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You probably spend a lot of energy trying to prevent mistakes, avoid conflict, and get parenting “right.” But what if the real goal isn’t perfection at all?
In this conversation, therapist and parent coach Emil Harker and I explore why conflict, misunderstandings, and even parenting mistakes are not signs that you’re failing. In fact, they may be some of the most important opportunities you have to strengthen your relationship with your teen.
We talk about the pressure parents feel to be perfect, why so many parenting tools fall flat when they’re disconnected from genuine understanding, and how learning practical relationship skills can completely change the way you navigate difficult moments with your child. Most importantly, we share what it actually takes to repair trust after a rupture.
I also share a recent parenting mistake that left me feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and convinced I had damaged my relationship with my son, until I remembered the very skills I teach parents every day.
If you've ever worried that you've messed up too badly, said the wrong thing, or damaged your relationship with your teen, this conversation is for you.
In this episode on repairing your relationship with your teen, we discuss:
Why conflict is often the pathway to deeper connection with your teenThe difference between preventing problems and learning how to repair themHow validation helps teens feel safe enough to listen and learnWhy understanding your teen's experience matters more than winning the argumentWhat happens in the brain when teens feel understood versus threatenedHow parents accidentally make conflict worse by explaining, justifying, or defending themselvesThe role accountability plays in rebuilding trust after a mistakeWhy repairing your relationship with your teen matters more than getting parenting “right”A recent parenting mistake I made and the steps it took to “fix it”How practical parenting skills create hope, confidence, and stronger family relationshipsWhy perfection isn't the goal, and what to focus on insteadLooking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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FREE online workshop - June 24 from 5-630MT
Respond Like Yoda (When Your Kid Is Acting Like Vader)
How to be grounded, avoid power struggles, and respond with clarity instead of reactionRegister at https://bethhillmancoaching.com/yoda
Bringing your teen home from treatment is something you've likely thought about for months. Maybe even longer.
You miss them. You want them home. And yet, if you're honest, you're also terrified.
What if they fall back into old patterns? What if treatment didn't "work"? What if all the progress disappears the moment they walk through the front door?
In this special conversation, I sit down with fellow parent coach and podcast host Brenda Zane to talk about one of the most challenging, and often overlooked, parts of the treatment journey: the first 90 days after treatment.
Many kids experience an emotional rollercoaster when they return home, and setbacks are more common than most parents realize. Unrealistic expectations can create unnecessary pressure on everyone involved. So let's talk about what the first 90 days after treatment really look like, what your teen may be experiencing beneath the surface, and how you can support both them and yourself through this challenging transition.
If your child is currently away in treatment, or has recently returned, this conversation will help you better understand what both you and your teen may be experiencing during the first 90 days after treatment.
In this episode on the first 90 days after treatment, we discuss:
Why bringing a teen home from treatment is often harder than parents expectWhat teens may be experiencing emotionally, socially, and mentally after treatmentWhy setbacks, slips, and "blips" are common during the first 90 days after treatmentThe hidden challenges of rebuilding friendships and finding a sense of belongingHow treatment can leave teens with skills their peers don't yet haveThe role expectations play in creating stress for both parents and teensWhy curiosity is more helpful than panic when challenges ariseThe importance of creating a flexible home plan instead of relying on rigid contractsHow parental self-regulation can dramatically impact the transition homePractical ways to stay grounded when fear, anxiety, and uncertainty show upMore about Brenda Zane
Brenda Zane is a Mayo Clinic Certified health coach and CRAFT-trained parent coach. After her son struggled for years with a high-risk lifestyle and addiction, she started Hopestream, a podcast and online community to prevent other parents from experiences like hers.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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You want to help your teen be resilient and feel more confident and capable of handling life's challenges. But when they're struggling, whether with mental health, motivation, school, substances, or simply growing up, it's easy to slip into protection mode. You try to shield them from pain, solve their problems, and prevent mistakes before they happen.
The problem? Confidence isn't built through protection. It's built through experience.
In this conversation, I sit down with clinical psychologist and adolescent mental health expert Dr. Jerry Weichman to explore the parenting tools that truly help teens build confidence and resilience.
Why do so many parents feel overwhelmed and alone? How is today's digital world impacting families? And why is focusing on what you can control one of the most powerful mental health strategies available? We discuss it all.
Dr. Jerry shares the mindset shifts and practical tools he's used with thousands of families, including how parents can support a struggling teen without trying to control them, why resilience matters more than ever, and what it takes to create healthier family dynamics in a world full of stress, distractions, and uncertainty.
If you've ever wondered how to help your teen build confidence while also preserving your own sanity, this episode is for you.
In this episode on helping teens build confidence, we discuss:
Why helping your teen build confidence starts with changing your own mindsetThe difference between protecting your child and building resilienceHow today's digital world is affecting parents, teens, and family relationshipsWhy focusing on what you can control reduces stress and overwhelmThe parenting trap of trying to "fix" your teen's strugglesWhat to do when your teen knows the tools but refuses to use themWhy allowing mistakes can actually help your teen build confidenceHow resilience protects teens from anxiety, depression, and hopelessnessPractical mental health strategies for both parents and teensWhy parents need support, tools, and compassion tooHow Dr. Jerry's Raising Families platform helps parents navigate common family challengesMore about Dr. Jerry Weichman
Dr. Jerry Weichman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, adolescent mental health specialist, and parenting expert, is the founder and creator of Raising Families, a free-to-access platform and trusted go-to resource for pro-active parents that provides real-life tools, systems and solutions for navigating today’s most common mental health challenges impacting children and families.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Why is it that the harder you push for change, the more your teen seems to dig in their heels?
If you've ever found yourself repeating the same conversations, giving advice that goes nowhere, or feeling exhausted by your teen's resistance, you're not alone. Most parents assume that if their child would just understand the consequences of their choices, they'd make better decisions. But change rarely works that way.
In this episode, I sit down with therapist Jarrod Hoffman to explore what motivational interviewing can teach parents about helping teens change behavior. We unpack why lectures, advice, and persuasion often backfire, and why empathy, curiosity, and connection are far more powerful tools for creating lasting change.
Jarrod introduces the stages of change framework and explains how understanding where your teen is in the change process can completely transform the way you communicate with them. Instead of trying to force change before they're ready, you'll learn how to meet them where they are and create the kind of conversations that actually help them move forward.
Most importantly, we discuss why your relationship with your teen cannot be based on whether they change, and why investing in connection may be the most effective way to support growth over the long term.
In this episode on helping teens change behavior, we discuss:
Why parents often become counterproductive when trying to help their teen changeThe stages of change and how to recognize where your teen is in the processWhat pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance look like in real lifeWhy advice, lectures, and persuasion often create more resistanceHow motivational interviewing can help parents support change more effectivelyThe difference between self-serving questions and curiosity-driven conversationsWhy empathy is often more powerful than informationPractical phrases parents can use to create connection instead of defensivenessHow to reduce power struggles and improve healthy communication with your teenLooking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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When you grow up inside fear, survival, instability, or emotional chaos, those experiences don’t just disappear when you become an adult. They quietly shape the stories you carry about safety, relationships, success, control, and even what it means to be a “good” parent. And without realizing it, you might begin to pass those same narratives on to your own children.
In this deeply personal and thought-provoking conversation, I sit down with Kellyn Smythe to explore how intergenerational narratives and trauma get handed down through families, often without anyone consciously intending to do so. Kellyn shares the extraordinary story of growing up under a false identity after his mother fled an abusive relationship, spending years living in hiding, constantly carrying the belief that danger was always just around the corner. And his whole world was turned upside down once again when he learned the truth many years later.
But this episode isn’t just about Kellyn’s story. It’s about all of us.
It’s about the ways fear, anxiety, perfectionism, hypervigilance, and emotional survival patterns quietly move through generations. It’s about recognizing the narratives we inherited from our own parents and asking ourselves whether those stories truly belong to us… or to our children.
And perhaps most importantly, it’s about hope. Because awareness creates choice. And repair, connection, and new relational experiences really can begin changing the story.
In this episode on intergenerational narratives and passing on trauma to our children, we discuss:
How family narratives and survival patterns get passed down through generationsKellyn’s experience growing up under a hidden identityThe impact of fear, hypervigilance, and perfectionism on parentingWhy many parents unknowingly pass their own anxiety and unresolved trauma onto their childrenThe connection between intergenerational trauma and family dynamicsHow rupture and repair can create deeper connection within familiesWhy awareness is the first step toward changing generational patternsThe difference between acknowledging painful experiences and making them your identityHow new relational experiences help create healing and emotional resilienceWhy repair and authentic connection matter more than perfection in parentingLooking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Simple tasks that seem easy to you become overwhelming battles for your teen or young adult with ADHD. One small request turns into a massive blow-up. And when we don’t understand the ADHD brain, it can feel like they’re being disrespectful, lazy or even manipulative.
In today’s episode, I’m joined by therapist and ADHD expert Debbie Murad to unpack what’s really happening underneath ADHD and emotional dysregulation in teens and young adults. Debbie explains why so many ADHD behaviors are misunderstood as intentional defiance when they’re actually rooted in brain development, executive functioning challenges, dopamine regulation, and overwhelm.
We also talk about the emotional toll ADHD takes on teens themselves. Because behind the missed assignments, emotional explosions, forgotten responsibilities, and impulsive behaviors, many teens are silently carrying shame, self-loathing, anxiety, and the exhausting feeling that they can never quite keep up with everyone else.
This conversation is especially important for parents who feel burned out, triggered, confused, or stuck in constant conflict with their teen. Because understanding what’s happening neurologically can completely change the way you respond, and ultimately strengthen the relationship with your child.
In this episode on ADHD and emotional dysregulation in teens, we discuss:
Why ADHD behaviors are often mistaken for disrespect or defianceWhat emotional dysregulation actually looks like in teens or young adults with ADHDThe difference between supporting your child and over-accommodating themWhy teens with ADHD can become overwhelmed by seemingly “simple” tasksHow ADHD impacts self-esteem, shame, and relationshipsWhy parents often take ADHD behaviors personallyThe connection between ADHD, impulsivity, dopamine, and addiction riskHow hyperfocus can become both a strength and a challengeThe link between ADHD, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, and burnoutHow parents can become better advocates for their neurodivergent childWhy mindfulness and emotional regulation work for parents matters tooThe importance of helping teens build executive functioning skills instead of doing everything for themHow understanding your child’s brain can transform your relationship with themMore about Debbie Murad
Debbie Murad brings over 30 years of expertise as a Clinical Social Worker, having worked with a wide spectrum of clients, including adolescents struggling with executive functioning, mental health and addiction issues.
As the founder and CEO of Beach Cities Gateway, a transitional program for emerging adults, Debbie specializes in guiding young people through the challenges of mental health, addiction, and executive functioning.Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Summer can feel terrifying when you’re parenting a struggling teen or young adult. The routines disappear. Structure falls away. And suddenly you’re left wondering how to support your child without slipping into control, conflict, or constant anxiety.
And if your teen is coming home from treatment? The pressure can feel even heavier.
Today, I sit down with Hilary Moses to talk about what parents often misunderstand about summer break, especially when supporting a struggling teen during summer break after treatment. Because summer isn’t just “time off.” For many families, it’s a major transition period filled with fear, guilt, uncertainty, and a loss of structure.
We talk about the difference between healthy structure and control, why parents often panic when they see old behaviors resurface, and how to create support systems that actually help your teen build resilience instead of dependence.
Hilary also shares practical ways parents can approach screens, friends, boredom, jobs, driving, boundaries, and expectations during the summer months without falling into exhausting power struggles.
Most importantly, this episode is a reminder that you don't have to create a perfect summer. You're not trying to raise a perfectly compliant child. You are helping a young person slowly learn how to navigate real life with support, structure, and connection.
In this episode on supporting your teen’s transition home from treatment during summer break, we discuss:
Why summer break can feel so destabilizing for struggling teens and familiesThe hidden challenges of bringing a teen home from treatment during summerHow to create healthy summer structure without micromanaging your teen or young adult childSupporting your child with jobs, responsibilities, and independenceWhat parents often misunderstand about motivation and accountabilityHow to approach “red flag” friendships with more nuanceWhy isolation and loneliness are major risks during summer breakHow fear pushes parents back into controlling patternsWhat healthy boundaries and expectations actually look like at homeWhy parents need resilience just as much as their kids doMore about Hilary Moses
Hilary Moses, MSW, LCSW, is a widely-esteemed therapist and parent coach who, throughout her career as a wilderness clinician and program clinical director was among the most highly regarded in the field. Hilary is a national public speaker and presenter, has written and developed parenting and transition curricula, facilitated hundreds of workshops and family seminars, and was an adjunct professor for the Masters in Social Work program at Arizona State University’s Watts College of Public Service and Community Solutions.
Hilary co-authored, “H.O.M.E: Strategies for Making home a SUCCESS during and after Treatment”.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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You bring your child home from treatment and expect things to get better. But instead, everything feels off. They’re overwhelmed. Irritated. Withdrawn. Maybe even struggling more than you expected. You don’t understand. Why is this so hard? Did we do something wrong?
This special episode will help you understand something most parents never fully see… until now.
Because what your teen experiences coming home from treatment isn’t just a transition. It can feel disorienting, overstimulating, and deeply unsettling in ways that are hard to explain, especially if you’ve never lived it yourself.
Today, I’m joined by Casie Fariello, who shares a deeply personal and unexpected experience that gave her a rare, firsthand understanding of what it actually feels like to lose autonomy, feel stripped of identity, and then try to re-enter everyday life after treatment.
And what she realized changed everything about how she relates to her son.
In this episode on what it feels like to come home from treatment, we discuss:
Casie’s story that gave her a firsthand understanding of what it feels like to transition home from treatment;Why reintegration after treatment can feel overwhelming, even when your teen “seems fine”;The loss of autonomy, identity, and safety your child may experience in treatment and how that impacts their behavior at home;Why your teen may withdraw, resist connection, or seem ungrateful after coming home;How overstimulation (phones, noise, people) can make early reentry incredibly difficult;The hidden grief both you and your teen may be carrying after time apart;Why kids may “check the boxes” in treatment and what that means when they return home;How your own fear, guilt, and judgment can show up during this phase (and what to do with it);Simple, powerful ways to support your teen: space, autonomy, and patience;What it really means to “relearn” how to be a family again after treatment;And much more.More about Casie Fariello
Casie is the co-founder of the online parent support group Other Parents Like Me (OPLM.com). She also has a son who went to treatment, including wilderness.Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Is your child pushing back, arguing over everything, ignoring rules, or seeming impossible to parent right now? It’s easy to wonder: Is this normal teen behavior… or something more serious like ODD?
When conflict becomes the norm at home, many parents start fearing they’re losing their child. You might even feel like you’re failing as a parent. But not all defiance is ODD. Sometimes, what looks like defiance is actually normal development, emotional dysregulation, stress, or a family dynamic that can be changed.
In this conversation, I’m joined by counselor, parenting coach, and school counselor, and mom herself, Brittney King, to unpack the difference between typical teen pushback and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. We talk about why many parents misunderstand defiance, how power struggles accidentally fuel the problem, and what helps teens far more than lectures, anger, or making consequences harsher.
If you’re parenting a struggling teen or young adult and feeling exhausted by constant conflict, tune in to learn a ton from Brittney.
In this episode on ODD in teens, we discuss:
The difference between normal teen behavior and true ODDWhy defiance can be a healthy part of adolescent developmentHow ADHD and emotional dysregulation can look like Oppositional Defiant DisorderWhy lectures and punishments often make conflict worseThe two biggest reasons teens stop opening up to parentsWhy connection must come before correctionHow clear boundaries and consistent consequences build trustWhat curiosity can reveal beneath your teen’s behaviorHow to become the safe place your teen turns to when it matters mostAbout our guest
Brittney King is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), ADHD-certified provider (ADHD-CCSP), and parenting coach who helps parents of struggling teens feel more confident and connected.
As a junior high school counselor, she sees firsthand how ADHD and executive functioning challenges impact teens, and the stress it creates for families. As a mom of 5, including one neurodivergent child (AuDHD), Brittney blends professional expertise with real-life experience. She’s passionate about helping parents raise resilient, emotionally healthy kids and feel supported every step of the way.
Check out her free webinar for parents of neurodivergent kids who are looking for answers on how to help their child at home & at school
Download her free worksheet for ways to support healthy mental and emotional development in your teen.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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When you find out your child is harming themselves, you’re thrown into a world you don’t understand.
Fear hits first. Then confusion. Maybe even anger.
Is this a cry for help? Is it manipulation? Is my child suicidal?
And most of all… what am I supposed to do?If your teen is self-harming, you’re not alone in these questions. And you’re not failing as a parent.
In this conversation, I sit down with therapist Courtney Deadman to unpack what teen self-harm actually is, and what it isn’t. Because so much of what parents believe about self-harm keeps them stuck in fear, reactivity, and disconnection… when what their teen or young adult kid needs most is something very different.
We talk about why self-harm is often a coping mechanism (not necessarily a suicide attempt), why punishment and consequences can make things worse, and how you can begin to approach your teen in a way that builds trust instead of shutting them down.
In this episode on when your teen or young adult kid is self-harming, we discuss:
What self-harm actually means (and why it’s more nuanced than you think)The difference between self-harm and suicidal intentWhy some teens use self-harm as a coping mechanismThe biggest mistakes parents make when they discover self-harmWhy consequences and punishment often backfireHow to talk to your teen without judgment or fear taking overWhat “harm reduction” looks like and why it mattersThe role of curiosity, trust, and connection in your response towards your struggling teenHow self-harm shows up differently across gendersWhy supporting yourself as a parent is essential in this processMore about Courtney Deadman
Driven by a genuine passion for human growth, Court sees therapy as a collaborative, sometimes messy, but ultimately transformative process. Her goal isn’t perfection - it’s helping people reclaim ownership of their lives and move forward on their own terms. They balance compassion with accountability, helping clients make sense of their experiences without minimizing the impact of trauma. Whether working through longstanding wounds or recent upheaval, she focuses on empowering individuals to reconnect with their own resilience, voice, and capacity for change.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Your teen’s behavior might feel confusing, frustrating, or even manipulative… but when you understand the boy brain, it starts to make a lot more sense.
In this episode, I sit down with Mark Spalding (LCSW) to unpack what’s really going on beneath behaviors like complaining, blaming, or playing the victim, and why so many parents feel emotionally pulled in when it happens.
We start with a situation many parents know all too well: your teen calls home (especially from treatment), and everything they share is negative. They sound convincing. Urgent. Sometimes even alarming. And you’re left feeling confused, guilty, and unsure what’s actually true.
But let’s also zoom out a bit.
Because these moments aren’t just about what your teen is saying. They’re about how the adolescent brain works.
We explain how the boy brain works: from the powerful drive for validation and belonging, to the imbalance between reward and consequence, to the speed at which emotions override logic.
When you understand this, you start to see why your teen might lean into certain behaviors, and why it’s so easy for you, as a parent, to get pulled in.
Most importantly, we talk about how to respond in a way that supports your teen without rescuing them and how to step out of patterns that may actually be holding them back.
In this episode on the boy brain explained, we discuss:
Why teens often focus on the negative (also during calls from treatment)What the “proximity effect” is and how it impacts your teen’s reactionsWhy teens may take on a victim role and why it can feel rewardingThe neuroscience behind teen behavior, incl. emotional reactivity and reward sensitivityWhy belonging and validation can outweigh consequences in the boy brainHow teens can hold parents emotionally hostage (often without realizing it)What’s happening in your teen’s brain when logic “doesn’t work”How to respond to your teenage boy without overreacting, rescuing, or escalatingWhy competence is what builds confidenceHow over-helping can unintentionally undermine your teen’s growthThe role of parent guilt, fear, and past experiences in these dynamicsHow to stay grounded, set healthier boundaries, and increase your influence as a parentMore about Mark Spalding
Mark Spalding is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Family Life Educator, trained Neurotherapist, and Field Instructor at the University of Utah. He is the co-founder of Live Strong House, Utah's premier therapeutic boarding school for boys, as well as the owner of Milestone, their young adult boys program.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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You wait all week for that call… and then it comes. But your child sounds miserable. They’re complaining about everything. The food, the people, the program. They tell you it’s not working. That they shouldn’t be there. Maybe they even promise they’ll do better if you just bring them home.
And suddenly, you’re right back in it: confused, overwhelmed, and questioning everything.
Did I make the wrong decision?
Is this actually helping them?
Should I be doing something different?In this episode, Seth and I talk about an extremely common (and emotionally triggering) experiences parents face when their child is in treatment: the weekly call filled with negativity, complaints, and pressure to “fix” it.
Because here’s the truth: just because your teen is struggling, doesn’t mean something is wrong. And just because they’re telling you something, doesn’t mean you should take it at face value.
We walk you through what’s really going on underneath these conversations, why your teen might be showing up this way, and how to respond in a way that supports their growth without getting pulled into fear, guilt, or rescuing.
In this episode on when your teen is complaining about treatment, we discuss:
Why teens often complain or “push back” during treatment (and what’s actually underneath it)How discomfort, challenge, and growth can show up as negativityThe difference between valid concerns vs. emotional reactionsWhy it’s important not to blindly believe, nor completely dismiss, what your teen is sayingHow to gather accurate information without escalating the situationThe common parenting patterns that get activated (rescuing vs. dismissing)What it looks like to respond in a grounded, supportive wayHow to give your teen or young adult autonomy instead of stepping in to fix thingsLooking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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You’re lying awake at night, running through every possible scenario. Should I step in? Should I say something? Should I let this go?
When your teen is struggling, it can feel nearly impossible to know what’s actually yours to handle and what isn’t. And without clarity, it’s so easy to slip into overthinking, overfunctioning, and trying to control things that were never yours to begin with.
In this episode, we’re introducing a simple but powerful framework: the Circles of Control, Influence, and Concern. This practical tool can help you step out of the constant confusion and into a more grounded, connected way of parenting. One where you stay present with your teen without losing yourself in the process.
[I go much deeper into this framework, and much more, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.]
We talk about why so many parents get stuck focusing on the wrong things, how that actually increases stress (for both you and your child), and what it looks like to shift your energy back to where it truly matters.
Because when you start to understand what is in your control as a parent, everything begins to change: your boundaries, your responses, and even your relationship with your teen or young adult child.
In this episode on what is in your control as a parent, we discuss:
The three circles: control, influence, and concern, and what each one really means;Why parents often spend most of their time in the wrong circle;How trying to control what isn’t yours actually increases stress and disconnection in your family;Real-life examples (like school refusal and eating habits) to show you how to apply this framework;The difference between control language vs. influence-based communication;How to stay present and supportive without overfunctioning or rescuing;And much more.Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Trust is one of the most fundamental parts of every relationship. If you don’t trust your teen, or you notice they don’t trust you, it will be hard to build the kind of parent-child relationship you want to have with your struggling teen or young adult.
But sometimes it can feel like an impossible task to ‘just trust’ your teen again, especially if that trust has been broken before. So how does trust actually work and more importantly… how do you begin to rebuild it when it feels broken?
In this episode, I sit down again with Danny Frazer to break down the anatomy of trust, using Brené Brown’s powerful BRAVING framework. We don’t just talk theory - we explore what this actually looks like in real-life parenting, especially when your teen is struggling.
Because here’s the truth: trust isn’t built in big, dramatic moments. It’s built (and rebuilt) in the small, everyday interactions between you and your child.
And often, it starts with you.
In this episode on how to rebuild trust with your teen, we discuss:
What trust actually means (and why it feels so complicated as a parent);Brené Brown’s BRAVING framework explained in a practical, relatable way for parents of struggling teens and young adults;Why boundaries are essential for building trust (not the opposite);How reliability shows up in the small, everyday moments;The role of accountability and repair in strengthening your relationship;Why integrity and consistency matter more than perfection;How to practice non-judgment and shift into curiosity with your teen;What it really means to be generous (without becoming passive);Why parents need to go first when it comes to rebuilding trust;And much more!More about Danny Frazer
Danny Frazer has spent nearly 30 years working in wilderness therapy and behavioral healthcare, including co-founding Open Sky Wilderness Therapy in 2006 and serving in leadership roles across the organization. For six of those years, he worked in admissions at Open Sky, speaking with and supporting thousands of families as they navigated the difficult decision of whether residential treatment was the right step for their family. Those conversations deeply shaped how he understands the realities parents face when contending with an at-risk child.
Today, he works as a leadership and business coach, helping leaders in behavioral healthcare navigate these complex, high-stress environments. He also volunteers his time as a board member of the Deer Hill Foundation, an outdoor adventure education and service learning program for youth located in Southwest Colorado. And, he is an active parent of two boys, including a teenager, an experience that continues to ground his work and perspective.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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You check their location, just to make sure they’re okay. Then again. And again. And suddenly, your entire nervous system is tied to a blinking dot on a map.
In this episode, Seth and I talk about something that so many parents are quietly struggling with right now: the urge to track, monitor, and stay one step ahead of your teen or adolescent… and how it slowly starts to take over.
Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: It never ends well. And just because we can track our kids, doesn’t mean we should. And yet, this has become so normalized that it barely gets questioned anymore.
Location tracking apps like “Find My” are often sold as peace of mind, but in reality, they can create more anxiety, more control, and more disconnection with your kid over time.
It’s addicting. It feels helpful in the moment. But long-term it can quietly erode trust within your family.
But letting go might feel impossible. It’s a hard shift. So what’s the solution? We’re talking all about it in today’s episode.
In this episode on tracking your adolescent’s location, we discuss:
Why tracking apps like “Find My” can feel helpful but often create more anxiety;The addictive nature of monitoring your kid’s every move;How control is becoming normalized in modern parenting;Why “just because you can” doesn’t mean it’s helpful for your relationship;The long-term impact of over-monitoring on trust and connection within your family;What actually happens when parents begin to step back from tracking their kid’s location;The difference between being emotionally present and trying to fix or control;Why letting go feels so uncomfortable, and why that doesn’t mean it’s wrong;How to start shifting toward a more trusting, connected relationship with your teen or adolescent;What it really means to let your teen learn through experience.Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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Is your son glued to his screen and telling you, “you just don’t get it”? But as a parent nowadays, you are navigating a world that looks very different from the one you grew up in. Video games double as social spaces. Screens shape friendships and status. And many teen boys are quietly struggling with anxiety, uncertainty about the future, and pressure they don’t always know how to talk about.
So how do you stay connected to your son when it feels like you’re speaking completely different languages?
In this episode, I sit down with licensed professional counselor Jarrod Hoffman, who specializes in working with teen boys. Jarrod shares what he sees every day in his counseling practice, from the hidden pressures boys face online to the misunderstandings that often happen between parents and sons.
Together, we explore why many boys say their parents “just don’t get it,” how video games and online spaces shape teen friendships today, and why anxiety is showing up so frequently in the lives of young men. Most importantly, we talk about how you can support your sons without rescuing them, but instead help them build the competence and confidence they need to become independent adults.
Jarrod also shares a simple but powerful communication tool parents can start using immediately to open up better conversations with their teen.
If you're raising a teenage boy and wondering how to stay connected while still helping him grow into his own independence, tune in. It’s a good one!
In this episode on parenting teen boys, we discuss:
Why many (teenage) boys feel misunderstood by their parents;How video games and online spaces have become a central part of teen boys’ social lives;The rising levels of anxiety many boys are experiencing today;Why confidence grows through competence, failure, and real-life challenges;The difference between keeping kids safe and helping them become capable;How parents can avoid rescuing and instead support healthy independence in their sons;A powerful listening technique that helps teens think for themselves;How reflective listening can strengthen communication and trust with your teenage boy.More about Jarrod Hoffman
Jarrod is a licensed professional counselor. He believes that teens are resilient and that parents are valuable. He was a teenage boy himself from 2004-2011. He loves reading books and is still on the fence about Messi or Ronaldo. He's experienced many life-changes, like his parent’s divorce when he was 10 and his dad's death when he was 28. He strives to help others find healing from wounds and triumph through suffering.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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You step in because you love your child.
You pay for treatment again because you’re scared.
You cover the rent because you don’t want them on the street.
You call to check in because something feels “off.”
You offer solutions because you can’t stand watching them struggle.Of course you do.
But here’s the hard question:
What if, sometimes, the helping is reinforcing learned helplessness?
What if the message, completely unintentionally, becomes: “You can’t handle this without me.”
Learned helplessness doesn’t develop because parents don’t care. It often develops because you care so deeply that you rush in to protect, soften, fix, or prevent discomfort.
If you’ve ever felt torn between protecting your child and preparing them for real life, this conversation is for you.
Seth and I talk about how learned helplessness can form when tasks are repeatedly taken over, when consequences are softened too quickly, or when rescue becomes the pattern. We explore what it actually looks like to allow your teen or young adult child their discovery process, even when that means sitting in your own discomfort.
Because sometimes the most powerful message you can send your struggling teen is:
“I believe you can handle this.”
In this episode on learned helplessness, we discuss:
What learned helplessness is and how it quietly develops in your teen or young adult child;How loving, generous parenting can unintentionally reinforce helplessness;The difference between necessary support and rescue;Why sitting with your own anxiety can change everything;How to evaluate when to step in, and when to step back;The long-term impact of allowing your teen to build capability;And more!Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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You’ve heard me say it over and over again: You have to let go of what is out of your control. But does that mean you just stop parenting? Are you just supposed to sit back and watch your teen or young adult fail and make mistakes?
When you start stepping back from micromanaging, rescuing, and constantly stepping in, it often doesn’t feel like relief. It feels like you’re doing something wrong. You’re not the only one feeling like this. Today’s society reinforces helicopter parenting and letting that go can feel unnatural, confusing, and emotionally intense.
That’s why Seth and I unpack today why this shift feels so uncomfortable, what teens and young adults actually experience when parents pull back, and how to stay emotionally present while still holding boundaries.
Letting go doesn’t mean disappearing. It means learning how to support without rescuing, guide without controlling, and stay connected even when things are hard.
In this episode on parenting without helicoptering, we discuss:
Why letting go often makes parents feel like they’re doing nothing;What teens and young adults experience when parents stop micromanaging and helicoptering;The difference between emotional support and rescuing;Why boundaries without follow-through break trust;How kids sometimes test connection by making it “all or nothing”;Why consequences can be powerful teachers (even when they’re hard to watch);How to stay present and supportive without fixing everything;What it means to parent in the gray area instead of going black-and-white;And more!Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
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