Afleveringen
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Ever felt guilty for using after-school club, holiday club, childcare, or asking for help?In this episode, I'm talking about something many parents carry quietly: the guilt and shame of needing support.Whether you're the last parent at pickup, relying on wraparound care to make life work, or trying to parent an intense, sensitive, or neurodivergent child without a village around you, this episode is for you.I explore why support isn't failure, why childcare can be a form of scaffolding rather than a sign you're not coping, and why taking care of yourself is often one of the most caring things you can do for your child.Because your child isn't in childcare because you don't care.They're there because you do.In this episode, we cover:Why modern parenting was never meant to be done aloneThe guilt many parents feel about needing childcare and supportParenting intense, sensitive and neurodivergent childrenWhy support is scaffolding, not failureThe impact of burnout on family lifeHow childcare can help you recover, regulate and reconnectReleasing the shame of not being able to do it all yourselfIf you've ever wondered whether you're a bad parent for needing a break, I hope this episode offers a gentler perspective.If you're a woman navigating ADHD, perfectionism, burnout, or the pressure of holding everything together, I'd love to invite you to explore how we can support you.To get my latest unhinged musings and get inspiration for how you can better meet your own emotional needs, make sure to get my Friday newsletter here:www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/newsletter
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In this episode of Pause, Purpose, Play, we dive deep into the powerful connection between shifting hormones and neurodivergence with Dr Fionnuala Barton, also known as The Menopause Medic. We explore how the natural fluctuation and decline of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone can drastically worsen ADHD symptoms both across the monthly menstrual cycle and throughout perimenopause. These hormonal shifts often show up unexpectedly as heightened anxiety, cognitive changes, and intense brain fog, leaving many women struggling with word-finding, memory gaps, constant distractibility, and zoning out. Left unmanaged, this combination significantly increases the risk of complete burnout. Dr Barton explains why these symptoms frequently intensify during the luteal phase right before a period, and emphasizes that it is never too early to seek medical support, even for those under the age of forty-five. Throughout our conversation, we cover the vital importance of ruling out overlapping factors like iron deficiency and Premature Ovarian Insufficiency. We also demystify the medical side of hormone health, discussing sensitivity to contraception, the trial-and-error process of finding the right HRT delivery method, and how to distinguish between PMDD, traditional PMS, and perimenopausal tracking. We talk about practical, everyday strategies that support your brain and body without the pressure of perfectionism. Dr Barton shares foundational lifestyle habits centered around quality sleep, consistent hydration, and steady nutrition packed with complex carbohydrates, protein, fiber, calcium, omega-3s, vitamin D3/K2, and creatine. We wrap up with actionable advice on how partners can step in to provide meaningful support, making this a must-listen episode for anyone navigating the intersection of ADHD and hormone health.
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Do you look like you’re coping on the outside… whilst feeling overwhelmed underneath it all?Many high-achieving women with ADHD go undiagnosed for years because they appear successful, capable and “high functioning” externally — whilst internally battling chronic overwhelm, perfectionism, anxiety and exhaustion.In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, Clinical Psychologist and ADHD specialist Michaela Thomas explores why ADHD gets missed in high-achieving women, and the hidden cost of masking, overcompensating and holding everything together.Inside the episode, Michaela explores:ADHD masking and overfunctioning in womenwhy intelligent and successful women often get missedthe “good girl” adaptation and perfectionismADHD burnout and nervous system overwhelmthe difference between coping and truly thrivingwhy many women don’t seek support until later in lifeBecause many women with ADHD were never truly “fine”.They simply became exceptionally skilled at hiding the struggle — from others and from themselves.If this episode resonates and you’d like to explore ADHD assessment further, head on over to www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhd to learn more about compassionate online and in-person ADHD assessments for women.
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In this episode, I’m sharing a more personal reflection on what it’s actually like to move through grief when your brain is already wired for intensity, sensitivity, and self-questioning.Because one of the things I’ve noticed…n is how quickly grief can get mislabelled as avoidance.You might think: “Why can’t I just get back to normal?” “Am I slipping?” “Do I just need more discipline?” But what if that’s not what’s happening at all? In this episode, we explore:The difference between avoidance vs readiness after grief (and why that matters)How your nervous system processes loss (and why you feel so tired)The productivity pressure ADHDers carry, to push through and performWhat it means to listen inward instead of overriding yourselfGentle ways to support yourself when you feel raw, slower, or not quite ready Want support with this work?If this episode resonates, this is exactly the kind of space I create inside my coaching work — where we move away from burnout and pressure, and towards self-trust, nervous system safety, and sustainable ways of living and working with ADHD. Join me in person at Golden – 15th May in London A space to connect, unmask, and be around women who get it—without having to explain yourself.Golden In Person Event May 2026
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I explain that “time optimist” isn’t my term but a gentler Swedish alternative to “time blindness,” reframing chronic lateness and overcommitting as optimism about what fits into limited time rather than moral failure. From an ADHD and executive-function lens, I describe how difficulty sensing time’s passage, prioritizing, task initiation, distraction, and hyperfocus can lead to double-booking, missed deadlines, and “deadline dancing,” even when people care deeply and feel shame. I discuss how stress can worsen planning and focus, how punctuality varies by brain wiring and socialization, and why rigid professions can be harder than flexible work arrangements. I connect time optimism with procrastination, perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and self-criticism, especially under modern pressures. I share practical supports like visual timers, time tracking, adding buffers, tolerating being early, reflecting on how rushing feels, and using self-compassion as motivation to change.
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In this episode, Michaela explores the difference between trying to fit in and truly belonging, especially for ADHD and neurodivergent women who’ve been labeled “too much”—too sensitive, intense, chatty, or emotional.
She reflects on how our bodies often sense when something is off in social settings, from subtle exclusions to polite but insincere connections, and how this can fuel overthinking and rejection sensitivity. Michaela also shares how things change when you’re with the right people: less replaying conversations, more ease, and the start of unmasking—not by force, but in the presence of safety.
Events mentioned in this episode:
Sweden ADHD Women’s Retreat (11–14 June)A small, curated space (only 5 spots) for rest, reflection, and connectionhttps://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/shine-retreat-2026/Golden – London (15 May)A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded womenhttps://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/ -
In this episode, Michaela Thomas talks about the common feeling of not fitting in—especially for late-identified ADHD women—and how it can create a constant background self-monitoring of how we come across.
She shares a personal moment of feeling “too much” on the school run while wearing bright pinks, and how small daily flickers of self-consciousness can build into a belief that we’re different and need to adapt by overexplaining, overapologizing, shrinking, or camouflaging to feel safe and accepted.
Drawing on Brené Brown’s distinction between fitting in and belonging, Michaela explores how these coping strategies often come from past experiences of criticism, misunderstanding, or exclusion, and how the cost can be exhaustion, social burnout, loneliness, and losing a sense of self. She close with a compassionate reframe: you don’t need to change who you are to belong—you may just need the right people and spaces, including my London meetup on May 15.
Join Michaela:
Golden – London (15 May)A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded womenhttps://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/ -
If you feel constantly “on” - ticking off tasks, replying to messages, holding everything together - this episode is your reminder that your best thinking doesn’t happen in the busy… it happens in the pause.
In this solo episode, Michaela Thomas explores the power of deeper reflection - and why creating space (not more productivity) is often the missing piece for ADHD brains.
From a simple walk through London to imagining a retreat in Sweden, this episode invites you to rethink what rest, creativity, and problem-solving really look like.
In this episode, Michaela covers:
Why constant busyness blocks creativity and insightThe role of the default mode network (DMN) in ADHD — and why mind-wandering is not a flawHow “being away with the fairies” might actually be where your best ideas liveThe hidden cost of executive functioning overload (yes, even by 9am…)Why rest doesn’t have to mean being still or silentHow movement (walking, swimming, singing) can unlock reflection and emotional processingThe power of unstructured space vs over-planned routinesA reframe on retreats — from “doing” to being, connecting, and allowingEvents mentioned in this episode:
Sweden ADHD Women’s Retreat (11–14 June)A small, curated space (only 5 spots) for rest, reflection, and connectionhttps://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/shine-retreat-2026/Golden – London (15 May)A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded womenhttps://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/ -
When neurodivergence isn’t properly understood at work, even highly capable people can end up struggling without the right support.
In this episode, Michaela Thomas is joined by employment lawyer Jodie Hill, founder of Thrive Law, to explore reasonable adjustments, psychological safety, and how employers can better support neurodivergent staff to thrive.
Drawing on both legal and psychological perspectives — from Jodie Hill’s work in employment law and Michaela's work delivering neurodivergence training and compassionate leadership development — they explore what happens when capacity is mistaken for capability, and how to build compassionate, psychologically safe and neuroinclusive workplaces where people don’t just cope, but truly flourish.
In this episode, they cover:* the difference between capability and capacity* what reasonable adjustments really mean in practice* why unsupported neurodivergence can look like underperformance* the role of psychological safety in disclosure and support* common mistakes employers make* when a role may be the wrong fit and how to handle that with compassion and lawfulness
A powerful conversation for both employees and employers, especially during Neurodiversity Celebration Week.
If your organisation is looking to better support neurodivergent staff, Michaela delivers psychological neurodiversity training, leadership development, and culture change programmes through all-staff training and executive coaching. Read more on www.thethomasconnection.co.uk
To work with Jodie and her team at Thrive Law, head to www.thrivelaw.co.uk
If this episode resonates, do share it with someone navigating neurodiversity at work.
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In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela welcomes clinical psychologist and knitting enthusiast Dr. Mia Hobbs.
The conversation explores the therapeutic benefits of knitting, especially for those dealing with perfectionism, mindfulness challenges, and ADHD.
Dr Hobbs, co-founder of Creative Restoration and host of the Why I Knit podcast, shares her insights on how knitting can be used as a tool for self-care and mental well-being.
The episode delves into the common traps knitters face, such as perfectionism, and emphasises the importance of engaging with creative activities. It also touches on the social and psychological benefits of knitting, making it a metaphor for life and a means of active rest and relaxation.
Connect with Mia Hobbs:
creativerestoration.org
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Many ADHD leaders are brilliant in a crisis.Quick thinking. Pattern spotting. Calm under pressure.But what if the same brain that thrives in urgency is also quietly creating it?In this episode, Michaela explores:Why ADHD nervous systems light up in chaosThe link between dysregulation and “micro-mistakes”Shame loops around small accidentsThe difference between responsibility and self-attackWhy slowing down sharpens your leadership rather than softening it
If you’re tired of constantly fixing fires - this conversation will help.🌿Join Me in Sweden — Shine Retreat 2026Ready to step out of reactive mode and into steady, sustainable leadership?Shine Retreat 2026 is a restorative, psychology-informed immersion for high-achieving women who want to burn bright without burning out.
Regulate your nervous system.Reconnect with purpose.Lead from clarity instead of chaos.Swim in a lake, sit in a sauna, wander in the woodlands and just... be.👉Learn more here and put down a deposit to secure your place - only 6 spots available!
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Are you under performing… or are you under-supported?In this episode, I reflect on delivering neurodivergence training to managers and unpack a powerful workplace question: when someone isn’t meeting expectations, is it capability — or context?Through a compassion-focused lens, we explore:The difference between equality and equityWhy clarity around feedback and expectations matters deeplyHow rejection sensitivity can distort workplace communicationWhy ADHD is an explanation, not an excuseThe shame–overwork–burnout cycle many high achievers fall intoHow psychological safety improves performance for everyoneNeurodivergent performance may not look neurotypical — and that doesn’t make it wrong.Whether you're a leader supporting staff or someone quietly masking and overworking to hide your struggles, this episode invites a shift: from blame to curiosity, from fear to compassion.Want to build a more neuroinclusive workplace?I deliver talks and training across the UK on neurodivergence, psychological safety and compassionate leadership.Connect with me:LinkedInWebsiteLet’s help your people thrive — not just survive.
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When a child can’t get into school, it’s often labelled as “refusal”. But what if it’s not won’t… it’s can’t?In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist Dr Carolyne Keenan to unpack Emotion-Based School Avoidance (EBSA) — what it really is, what it isn’t, and how parents can navigate this incredibly complex space with compassion.In this episode, we cover:What EBSA actually means (and why it’s not about defiance or manipulation)The difference between “won’t” and “can’t”Early signs to look out for (tummy aches, shutdown, irritability, “fizzing” bodies)Why children often seem fine at weekends or in holidaysBurnout in children — and why “push through” can backfireThe emotional toll on parents (work pressure, guilt, exhaustion)Why making home “less fun” is not the answerThe tension between attendance targets and emotional safetyHow to respond in the early stages to prevent escalationThe spectrum of EBSA — from subject-specific avoidance to full shutdownPractical ways to seek support (schools, councils, local offers)Why education is not one single narrow pathKey reminderIf reassurance alone fixed this, EBSA wouldn’t exist.Sometimes the bravest parenting move is softening, pausing, and prioritising safety over forcing attendance.About Dr Carolyne KeenanCarolyne is a Registered Counselling Psychologist specialising in anxiety, family stress, and Emotion-Based School Avoidance. She offers 1:1 support, consultations, and runs a 12-week programme for parents called Survive EBSA.Carolyne's website: www.carolynekeenan.co.ukIf this episode resonates, please share it with a parent who needs to hear: It’s not defiance. It’s distress.
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A Therapist’s Reframe on Six “Healthy” Wellness Habits on Social MediaMany wellness habits shared online are well-intentioned. But when taken to extremes, they can quietly feed pressure, perfectionism and burnout.In this solo episode of Pause Purpose Play, Clinical Psychologist Michaela Thomas offers a gentle therapist’s reframe on six “healthy” wellness habits often promoted on social media - not as a takedown of influencers, but as an invitation to explore with what actually supports psychological health in an evidence-based way.In this episode, Michaela explores:Why constant optimisation keeps us stuck in performance modeThe myth that being “regulated” means always being calmHow overfunctioning gets mistaken for resilienceWhen self-care tips into self-absorptionThe difference between assertiveness and aggression when setting boundariesWhy attacking your inner critic often backfiresThis episode is for anyone who’s doing all the “right” things — yet still feels exhausted.✨ Ready to step out of performance mode?If this resonated, you’re invited to The Reset — a short, therapist-led nervous system reset as a mini-course you do on your own, designed to help you slow down, soften, and create steadiness without self-criticism.👉 www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset
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What if “eating well for ADHD” isn’t another set of rules - but a way to support your nervous system, mood and focus with more self-trust and less perfectionism?
In this episode, Michaela chats with clinical neuroscientist and nutrition researcher Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas about the gut–brain axis, why food matters for ADHD (without turning it into a restrictive fixation), and how self-care for ADHD is more about regulation than optimisation.
You’ll hear about:
Why nutrition impacts ADHD (building blocks, blood sugar, hydration, cravings)
The gut–brain–nervous system link (and why ADHD isn’t “just in the brain”)
Why perfectionism + restriction can make ADHD symptoms worse, not better
Practical, ADHD-friendly approaches: good-enough meals, shortcuts, and flavour “dopamine”
The permission slip: you can be ADHD AF and still feel fabulous
About Dr Miguel
Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas is a clinical neuroscientist, applied microbiologist and nutrition researcher specialising in nutritional psychiatry and the gut–brain axis. He’s the author of the upcoming book ADHD: Brain, Body & Mind.
Want a calmer, steadier nervous system — without forcing yourself into rigid routines?Join the Reset here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset
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If you’re an ADHD or neurodivergent woman, the pressure to be “acceptable” can feel relentless: capable but not chaotic, confident but not difficult, adaptable but not too much. This episode explores why patriarchy amplifies perfectionism for neurodivergent women - and how real male allyship can help reduce that pressure. One for your partner to listen to!
Episode overviewI’m joined by Lee Chambers, founder of Male Allies UK, to talk about what authentic male allyship actually looks like — beyond performative support or social media statements.
We discuss:
Why perfectionism becomes a survival strategy for ADHD women
How patriarchal norms punish difference and reward masking
The invisible load of caregiving and emotional labour
How men can be allies without centring themselves or creating more work for women
Why this mattersPatriarchy doesn’t just disadvantage women - it narrows who we’re allowed to be. For neurodivergent women, that narrowing is sharper, harsher, and more exhausting.
ResetIf this conversation stirred something, tiredness, recognition, or that familiar “oh… it’s not just me”, you might benefit from Reset, my gentle, science-informed experience for women who are burning out from trying to hold it all together.It’s a chance to pause, soothe your nervous system, and reconnect with yourself - without needing to fix or improve anything first.www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset
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If you've been diagnosed with ADHD, and your partner wants to know how to better support you - this episode is for you. If ADHD is creating tension, misunderstandings, or repeated arguments in your relationship - this episode is also for you. In this solo episode, Clinical Psychologist Michaela Thomas shares what she would want a partner to understand if they were sitting together in the therapy room. This episode isn’t about excuses or blame. It’s about understanding how ADHD affects nervous systems, emotions, communication, and relationships — and what actually helps, rather than makes things worse. In this episode, we explore:Why ADHD is not an excuse, but is an explanationWhy “trying harder” often leads to more shame and burnout, not changeWhat happens when someone with ADHD is stuck in rumination or emotional collapseWhy logic and reassurance don’t land when the nervous system is dysregulatedRejection sensitivity (RSD) and how tone, silence, and facial expressions can be misreadHow past relational wounds can be triggered in the presentThe common “parent–child” dynamic that can develop in ADHD relationshipsHow to support your partner without taking over or eroding their agencyA free resource for couplesIf this episode resonated, Michaela has created a free guide called Balance Your Relationship.It’s designed to help couples step out of blame and back into understanding — with compassion for both partners. Download the free guide here:http://thethomasconnection.co.uk/relationshipbalance/
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In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas welcomes Joseph Pack who discusses strategies for managing ADHD without medication.
Joseph, founder of 'Drug-Free ADHD,' shares his journey of overcoming ADHD by focusing on lifestyle changes instead of medication. The conversation delves into various approaches, including breath work, cold and hot water exposure, diet adjustments, movement, and the critical importance of quality sleep.
Joseph and Michaela emphasise that these methods are not meant to replace medication but to offer alternative solutions for those who cannot or choose not to use medication. The episode concludes by highlighting the need for a nuanced and individualised approach to ADHD management.
Connect with Joseph:
Website: www.drugfreeadhd.org
Instagram: www.instagram.com/josephpackcom/
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In this episode of the Pauses Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas speaks with Matt Buff, founder of the wellbeing and supplement brand Get Dopa. They discuss Matt’s journey through understanding and managing his ADHD, overcoming perfectionism, and the importance of self-compassion. Matt shares his experience of burning out in a high-pressure corporate job, discovering his ADHD, and subsequently creating a brand to support busy minds. The conversation highlights the importance of integrating pauses, purpose, and play into one’s life, maintaining self-awareness, the role of supplements in enhancing daily function, and the significance of building a balanced and fulfilling life. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their strengths and practice self-compassion, creating a life that suits their unique needs.
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In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, clinical psychologist Michaela Thomas discusses the pressure and myths surrounding the 'New Year, New Me' mentality. Michaela advocates for setting compassionate, intention-driven goals instead of rigid, outcome-based resolutions which can often lead to self-criticism and burnout. She explains the importance of being gentle and realistic, especially for neurodivergent individuals, and suggests focusing on manageable, long-term changes. Michaela also introduces her online course, the Compassionate Couple, and shares a special discount offer in honor of her birthday.
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