Afleveringen
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Please enjoy this (possibly final) episode of Redeeming Disorder, featuring my first friend in my new home (Vilcabamba, Ecuador), Maya Choi. Maya has lived quite an adventurous life, growing up in Korea, spending over a decade in New York City and living now in Ecuador, where she’s also been for over a decade. Her experiences shifting between cultures have taught her how to relate to the identity of the self, as has extensive meditation, through which she’s always maintained a “beginner’s mind.” From her exposure to Zen monasteries as a child to her personal practice today, meditation has always been a way for Maya to, rather than escaping or merely transcending the world, relate to the world with more joy, gratitude and generosity. That spirit and those qualities are reflected at the site of our interview — the Sukkha Wasi cultural center she started — as well as in Maya herself.
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Video of Our Conversation on YouTube
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On this World Mental Health Day, I'm joined by my partner Kailey to reflect on anxieties, bad habits and True Love.
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Links from the Episode:
Video of Our Conversation on YouTube
Video of Our Conversation on BitChute
Rapper Played in Background for a Minute
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Zijn er afleveringen die ontbreken?
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Phil Larstone has always felt a deep calling to steward the earth, and it's here in southern Ecuador that he ultimately actualized that calling, renewing a hectare of land into fertile, biodiverse and beautiful permaculture. In this interview he takes us through his journey of mental health and connection to nature — from suicidal college student, to Hawaiian permaculture student to creator of "eternaculture" (and AirBnB host extraordinaire!). Not only that, but in the video content linked below, Phil shares his inspirations and shows us his creation visually.
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Links from the Episode:Video Tour of Phil's and Suzannah's Land on YouTube
Video Tour of Phil's and Suzannah's Land on BitChute
Eternaculture at Canción del Corazón (the name of Phil’s and Suzannah’s center, which translates to “Song of the Heart”)~
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In this special Summer Solstice + Father’s Day solo-cast, I ramble (on and on) about permaculture, my Ecuadorian digs, my life purpose and my spiritual path. Feel free to tune out of this chronicle of unwieldy personal musings, or to stop listening at any time! For those who are interested, I delve into some of the particular challenges, vulnerabilities and neuroses of my individual psyche — especially the content that arose in my January 2021 work with Ayahuasca in Ecuador.
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Links from the Episode:Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
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Ṣadé Kammen has struggled with neurodivergence all her life, but what she now identifies as depression, anxiety and autism spectrum disorder weren't taken seriously by her family. Though she struggled to feel understood growing up, she went on to become a strong mental health advocate at Yale, and today fights for those dealing with mental disorder as well as those dealing with social injustice. The latter has unfortunately been predominant in Ṣadé’s experience as a black queer woman facing racism and gender biases, and she views Survivor — the medium through which we connected to have this interview — as a powerful lens into these shadow sides of our culture. Shadows (at least large cultural ones) don’t disappear overnight, and Ṣadé's struggles with some strained relationships (being currently estranged from her mother) persist. Nonetheless, she has developed coping strategies as well as learned how to live in the present moment, in her body (which keeps the score — great book by the way). The Body Keeps the Score is just one and the Harvard implicit bias test is just another of many great resources in the show notes this week.
My interview with Ṣadé marks a point of pause for Redeeming Disorder. I’ll be back later this summer once I’ve set myself up to podcast from southern Ecuador! There, I’ll be practicing, writing and learning about regenerative farming and permaculture.
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Intro Music: All is Well by Austin Basham
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Links from the Episode:
Harvard Implicit Bias Test
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The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
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The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown
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Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown
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Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Ted Talk Ṣadé mentions
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Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Journal Article Ṣadé Mentions
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Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Proximity in Emotion and Economy of Action by Beckes and Coan
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Cognitively Based Compassion Training (CBCT) at the Emory Center for Contemplative Science and Compassion-Based Ethics with Lobsang Tenzin Negi
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Trailer for Kiss the Ground~
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Frank Ferrare’s mental health struggles began in adolescence, but a combination of stigma and confusion extended them well into adulthood. The death of a close grandparent led to depression, which began a chain reaction of one ramification leading to another — depression medication, shame around medication, misuse of medication, shame around mental disorder, shame around self, and ultimately the construction of dense emotional walls. Frank wound up socially isolated and misunderstood, but in the end, his story if a hopeful one. Outlets like watching Survivor formed a bridge back to human connection for him, and the human connections he made in his everyday life formed a bridge to self-acceptance. His is a story of learning to become comfortable with himself, coming to peace with his mental health challenges and letting down his emotional walls.
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Nikki Moon has survived a full gamut of severe challenges, including issues with sleep, physical health, mental health and trauma. Specifically, she suffered one of the most devastating traumas a person can face — an incident of sexual assault and rape. Whatever the obstacle, however, Nikki turns pain into power: From her narcolepsy and cataplexy she’s learned to use medication pragmatically, and from her assault she’s learned to accept the compassion surrounding her. In this interview, she takes us through what coping has meant for her, how she’s found peace with the personal narrative of her experiences, how she’s braved the difficulty of sharing her story and how she navigates her mental health today.
Check out beautiful crafts made of reclaimed wood by Nikki’s family at Lunar Canyon!
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Welcome back to Redeeming Disorder. Happy full "supermoon." May we make it to May. 😊
Jonas Otsuji competed on Survivor: One World a decade ago. The deep depression he recalls, however, became a challenge for him long before reality TV, and continued to challenge him after the show. Jonas speaks to the factors that made the challenge even harder – junk food, consumerism, social media’s distortion of reality – as well as the factors that were healing, like practicing gratitude.
Through practicing gratitude, Jonas practices happiness, and views happiness as a state we’re fully empowered to enter. I generally consider “happiness” to be a terrible word, because it represents about ten things at once (excitement, pleasure, connection, fulfillment, contentment, etc.), but I consider Jonas’s notion of “happiness” to be a realistic one, emphasizing gratitude, equanimity and peace. Choosing this peace over consumerism, digital escapism and the many trappings of the modern world can be tough, but in this interview, Jonas shares how he’s managed it.
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Children of the Dump — Bless the Children
Books Jonas Mentions:
Sugar Blues by William Duffy
Attacking Anxiety and Depression by Lucinda Bassett
Feeling Good by David BurnsProject MKUltra on Wikipedia
Operation Mockingbird
Video about politics from my email to Amanda Rabinowitz
Century of the Self Film — BBC~
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Nicole Moore survived a devastating 2013 tornado in Moore, Oklahoma (yes, she is Nicole Moore from Moore).
Sadly, her childhood home didn't, and a whirlwind of family struggles prolonged the intense stress she was under. The tornado and its aftermath ultimately amounted to a battle with PTSD, the awareness of which Nicole advocates during our interview.
Nicole also discusses her relationship to the labeling aspect of 'PTSD' and her views of mental health and mental disorder more broadly. Please enjoy our conversation, and if you have a story of your own you'd like to share, you can do so through this form.
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Despite the past month's MIA-ness, rest assured that more Redeeming Disorder is to come.
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Michael McRay came to know shame in early childhood, and it nearly killed him. In this episode of Redeeming Disorder, he bravely shares the story of his close encounter with death, and of the immense outpouring of love he found after attempting suicide. Michael's vulnerability gives me the courage to finally share that I was suicidal for a period of time in the summer of 2011, and if you find yourself in a dark place, I hope it gives you courage as well. May the story instill faith, in all those who need to hear it, that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are not alone.
The storytelling of this episode is beautiful, thanks to Michael's skills as an orator and writer. In his most recent book, I Am Not Your Enemy, he visits Israel, Palestine, Northern Ireland and South Africa interviewing activists, peacebuilders and former combatants about their personal stories of conflict, justice, and reconciliation. As Michael puts it, "we need stories that cultivate empathy and tell the truth. We need stories to save us from our fear."
You can find I Am Not Your Enemy and the rest of Michael's work on his website
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Devon VillaCampa returns to the podcast to update us on his artistic and mental health journeys. Not only does he reflect on what he's been through, but he reflects on how reflections themselves change with age — how his perspective evolved in the 1.5 years between appearances on the podcast. Devon finds newfound freedom as he gets older, and newfound peace as he grows into himself.
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Today we catch up with another previous Redeeming Disorder guest, AJ Mass, who unfortunately lost both his mother and his mother-in-law in the year before this interview. The discussion of that challenge quickly turns into an abstract and philosophical discussion of life, aging, belief and truth.
Connect with Reiman:Redeeming Disorder listeners who want to get in touch can now do so without so much as a tweet! To share feedback and ask questions, just fill out this short form.
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Researcher and clinical psychology PhD Amanda Rabinowitz returns to Redeeming Disorder to talk psychiatry, dive deeper into therapeutic techniques (especially CBT and its behavioral activation offshoots) and contemplate a number of murky dichotomies within her field:
Nature vs. Nurture
Categorical vs. Dimensional Thinking
Suppression of vs. Identification with Mental "Illnesses"
Collectivist vs. Individualist Perspectives
Cultural Context vs. UniversalityAs a whole, Amanda's interview underscores dichotomies within the whole of psychology — dichotomies in which her approach contrasts with that of our last guest, Dr. Eric Maisel. Where Eric calls disorders made-up, psychiatry corrupt and its systems illegitimate, Amanda calls disorders sociologically valuable, psychiatry complicated and its systems worth working within. I don't pretend to know who is right, or if either of these psychologists is right. I don't particularly think that's important. In Eric Maisel and Amanda Rabinowitz I see two people carrying out a labor of love, with tremendous intelligence and compassion, impactfully helping others.
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Eric Maisel is a psychotherapist, a PhD in counseling psychology, a creativity coach, and the author of over fifty published books. While I first discovered him through his “Rethinking Mental Health” blog for Psychology Today, his education and work in the field span back far before that — far before I was diagnosed with depression at ten years old, and far before I was born. Eric questions what he terms the “mental disorder paradigm,” and broaches controversial questions most would rather avoid:
Does mental illness actually exist? Are SSRIs medicine, or rather just “chemicals with strong effects?” What is medicine?
We addressed the first of those questions in a conversation with Eric back in 2017, and in this interview, I join Eric in-person in San Francisco to dig into the second question. Finally, on the eve before I journey into the Amazon to work with Ayahuasca, I share some reflections of mine on the third question. In this episode of Redeeming Disorder, those questions all prove to be fascinating launching pads into a discussion of labels, language, institutional (and psychiatric) authority, meaning-making and life purpose.
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We're back to interviews on Redeeming Disorder!
Guided meditations 1-12 will remain up on the podcast for your use whenever you like, and in the meantime, it feels good to get back to real stories of mental disorder. Today's story is a special one whose subject matter hits home for me: Todd Herzog's struggle as an alcoholic.
Todd shares the unsung side of his story in this interview; while downward spirals get a lot of attention, upward spirals are stories worth telling. I'm grateful to Todd for doing the telling, and living as an example of crawling out of the hole that is alcoholism. I grew up seeing my dad in that same hole, where he remained until passing away one year ago. On the anniversary of getting that sad call from my sister, I'm joined (and interviewed) by my partner Kailey to talk about what has come up for me the past few days.
I hope you enjoy these conversations, I hope you have a fantastic New Year's Eve, and HAPPY 2021!
PS — I've mentioned a number of books in recent episodes, namely today's episode. While the cascade of recommendations won't continue, I will share links to the books mentioned, for those interested:
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In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts & When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate
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Awareness by Anthony De Mello
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Breath by James Nestor
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PPS — No, the journalist, ayahuasquero and Jesuit priest above are not paying me to recommend their books.Support Redeeming Disorder by contributing to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/redeeming-disorder
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You did it! Congrats on graduating from this 12-day meditation challenge. Review what you learned anytime through this final meditation tying it all together.
I’m wishing you love and well-being in both practice and life.
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This meditation’s opening quote is from the Pirkei Avot of the Rabbinic Jewish tradition. It is also the last opening quote of the meditation series, as tomorrow's final episode will be 'practice-only.' Turning the page to 2021, I'm wishing you the best in practice, and the best in life!
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Today we deepen our practice into one of open, "choiceless" awareness.
As you’ve learned in 10 days, attention is a wildly unstable force, and we don’t always get to choose where it goes. In life and in practice, the light of our attention will shine unpredictably on object after object. Can we "choicelessly" accept whatever emerges from the dark?
This meditation’s opening quote is from the Buddha.
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Begin coming into your own practice and making your own choices!
You will choose 1) your primary object of attention; 2) your use of mental noting techniques; and 3) the degree of openness in your practice. Today I guide you into guiding yourself; tomorrow we take your self-directed practice to a new frontier: Open Awareness.
This meditation’s opening quote is often attributed, without much evidence, to the existentialist writer Albert Camus. While I wish I were quoting Camus, who wrote one of my favorite novels (L'Étranger, or “The Stranger”), this quote’s true source isn’t known.
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