Afleveringen

  • How to thrive as the default parent: When you're doing it all in a neurodiverse family - with Stephanie Holmes

    How to thrive as the default parent: When you're doing it all in a neurodiverse family - with Stephanie Holmes

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    How to Thrive as the Default Parent When you're doing it all in a neurodiverse family with Stephanie Holmes

    What do you do when you are the only one who sees what your child needs, the only one managing the appointments, the IEPs, the protocols, the meltdowns, the mental load — and the other parent is sitting right there in the same house?

    If that question landed somewhere deep in your chest, this episode was made for you. Leslie sits down with Dr. Stephanie Holmes, a certified autism specialist, trained therapist for neurodiverse couples, and founder of Autism Spectrum Resources — a woman who has also lived this road personally as both a wife and a mother. Together they pull back the curtain on what it really costs a woman to carry the full weight of parenting a neurodiverse child alongside a disengaged or neurodiverse spouse, what it takes to finally speak up, and how you can protect your own mental, emotional, and spiritual health even when you cannot change your husband or your circumstances. You will walk away from this conversation feeling seen, equipped with practical perspective shifts, and reminded that your faithfulness to your children matters more than you can imagine.

    Key Takeaways

    The Mental and Emotional Cost of Being the Default Parent Is Real — and It Is Not Weakness

    Stephanie describes nearly reaching a complete breakdown after years of functioning as the sole executive for her entire household — managing three neurodiverse family members, running a counseling practice, and absorbing every logistical, emotional, and spiritual demand without asking for help. The toll showed up as migraines, exhaustion, depression, and a crisis of faith. If you have been white-knuckling it through your days and wondering why you are falling apart when you look like you are holding it together, this is not a character flaw. It is the predictable result of one person carrying what two people were designed to share.

    Lies Dressed as Biblical Mandates Can Keep You Trapped and Suffering Longer Than Necessary

    Stephanie carried a painful burden for years because a pastor told her in premarital counseling that if she chose to work outside the home, she could never ask her husband to carry any of the domestic load. She signed onto that belief at nineteen, never anticipating children, neurodiversity, or the reality of what their life would actually require. Leslie names this pattern directly — cultural ideas packaged as spiritual law that keep good women silent, overloaded, and ashamed to ask for what they need. Naming the lie is the first step toward freedom.

    Making the Mental Load Visible Can Open a Door That Silence Never Could

    The turning point in Stephanie's marriage came not from an argument or an ultimatum, but from a simple, concrete act: she wrote every task down and laid both lists on the table. For her husband, seeing the imbalance visually was the thing that finally made it real. If your husband has not responded to your exhaustion or your words, it does not automatically mean he is cruel — it may mean he genuinely cannot perceive what he has never been shown. This does not excuse a lack of action, but it does suggest that a different kind of communication may open a different kind of conversation.

    You Cannot Control the External, But You Can Steward What Is Internal

    Leslie offers one of the most grounding frameworks in the episode: when we are overwhelmed by everything we cannot control — our husband's choices, what happens on his parenting time, whether the school cooperates — we tend to redouble our efforts to control the external, which only deepens our distress. The real work, the work that actually moves the needle, happens inside. Choosing to build community, finding your support people, deciding who you want to be in the middle of this hard season — these are the things within your reach. As Stephanie says, she eventually made a decision: I am going to survive this and I am going to thrive despite this.

    You Do Not Have to Earn Permission to Get Help, Go to Church, or Take Your Kids on Vacation

    One of the most practically liberating moments in this conversation is when Stephanie realizes that her husband's unwillingness to participate does not mean she and her children cannot participate in life. He had never told her she could not take the girls on vacation — she had simply assumed that a good Christian wife would not go without him. When she stopped waiting for his yes and started making choices for her children's good, things began to shift. If your husband is not leading, someone still has to keep the plane in the air. Choosing to do that is not a failure of submission — it is a faithful act of stewardship.

    Personal Invitation

    If this conversation stirred something in you — if you recognized yourself in the exhaustion, the false beliefs, the longing for someone to finally name what you have been living — we want you to know there is a place to go deeper. My Moving Beyond People Pleasing course was built for women who have spent years putting everyone else's needs, comfort, and approval ahead of their own, and who are ready to learn how to show up differently. It is grounded in Scripture, filled with practical tools, and designed for women who are serious about becoming the truest, most grounded version of who God created them to be.

    You can learn more and get started here: https://leslievernick.com/mbpp

    Closing Encouragement

    You are not failing. You are carrying something extraordinarily heavy, and you have been carrying it largely alone. But you were not meant to do this without God, without community, and without a honest look at what is truly yours to hold and what is not.

    Stephanie prayed it beautifully in this episode — God is Emmanuel, which means He is with us. He is with you in the IEP meeting, in the exhausted silence after the kids are in bed, in the anger you have been afraid to admit, and in the small faithful steps you take every single day. James 1:5 promises that if you ask for wisdom, He will give it generously. He is not withholding from you. He is walking with you, one step at a time, lighting just enough of the path ahead to keep moving forward.

    You are not alone. And change — in you, through you, and around you — is possible.

  • The Dignity Line: How to Recognize When Your Relationship Has Crossed It With Dawn Madsen

    The Dignity Line: How to Recognize When Your Relationship Has Crossed It With Dawn Madsen

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    The Dignity LineHow to Recognize When Your Relationship Has Crossed It with Dawn MadsenShow Notes

    Have you ever found yourself unable to explain to a counselor, a friend, or even yourself exactly why your relationship feels so wrong — only to be met with "every marriage has problems" or "have you tried harder to communicate"? You are not alone, and you are not imagining it.

    In this powerful conversation, Leslie sits down with Dawn Madsen — known to over a million women each month as The Minimal Mom — who spent years inside a relationship she could feel but could not fully name, until she developed a tool called the Dignity Line. Together, Leslie and Dawn walk through what it looks like when a relationship crosses from difficult into destructive, why even the most capable and faith-filled women stay far longer than they ever expected, and how rebuilding something as simple as your physical space can become the first thread in reclaiming your confidence, your voice, and your sense of self.

    Key Takeaways

    What the Dignity Line Is — and Why It Changes Everything

    Dawn describes the Dignity Line as a clear threshold that separates normal relational breakdowns — where both partners can own their part, repair the rupture, and move forward — from patterns of treatment that communicate "your needs are negotiable and your pain is not my responsibility." Above the line, disagreements happen but do not involve name-calling, gaslighting, blame-shifting, or chronic entitlement. Below the line, those patterns repeat without genuine accountability or change. What makes this tool so meaningful for women in destructive relationships is that it moves the conversation away from diagnosis or labels entirely. You do not need to prove he is a narcissist. You simply need to look honestly at how you are being treated and whether your dignity is consistently honored or consistently dismissed.

    Why You Stayed — and Why That Is Not a Failure

    One of the most compassionate and clarifying moments in this conversation is when Dawn and Leslie name together why leaving takes so long — and why that timeline deserves understanding rather than shame. When a relationship is not always bad, the good seasons create genuine confusion. The highs feel like proof that the real person is still in there, and that if you can just be the right kind of wife, you can call that person forward. What Leslie adds is equally important: those good seasons are often a strategy, not a transformation. The love-bombing, the apologies, the warmth — these can function to keep you cooperative, not because real change has taken root. Tracking patterns over time, as Dawn recommends, is not being unforgiving. It is being honest.

    Why Traditional Tools Like Boundaries and Marriage Counseling Often Fail Here

    Dawn shares a story that will resonate deeply — setting a boundary, feeling proud of herself for finally doing it, and then finding herself comforting him on the way to the hardware store twenty minutes later. Her point is not that boundaries are useless; it is that boundaries only function as intended when both partners are operating above the dignity line. In a destructive dynamic, a boundary is often met with punishment, victim-posturing, or a quiet escalation that gets taken out on the children. This is not a failure of your boundary-setting. It is data. As Leslie reminds listeners: when you try something new and it gets worse rather than better, that is not evidence you did it wrong. It is evidence about the relationship — and evidence you can use.

    Rebuilding Confidence in Practical, Everyday Ways

    Dawn brings a gift to this conversation that is entirely her own: the insight that simplifying and decluttering your physical environment is one of the most accessible ways to begin reclaiming your inner world. When you have been gaslit for years, your confidence in your own judgment erodes. But you can begin rebuilding it in small, low-stakes decisions — keep this, donate that, this vase brings me no joy and I do not have to justify that to anyone. Each small decision is a practice in trusting yourself. Each moment you choose to live with someone's disappointment over the clutter you removed is a rehearsal for the much harder moments ahead. Your outer world and your inner world are in conversation with each other, and bringing one into order can quietly, faithfully begin to restore the other.

    The Role of Faith, Forgiveness, and Enabling

    Leslie gently names something many Christian women have never heard said plainly in a church context: the virtues of long-suffering, forgiveness, and turning the other cheek can be weaponized against you — and can, if left unexamined, become a means of enabling ongoing harm to yourself and your children. As Leslie points out, even Jesus did not change Judas. He invited him, he saw him clearly, and he let him go. Praying faithfully for a spouse who refuses to change is not a failure of your faith. God does not override the will of a person who has decided not to change. What you can control is whether you keep absorbing the cost of that choice — and whether your children grow up believing that this is simply what love looks like.

    If you are resonating with what Dawn and Leslie discussed today — if you have been quietly living below your own dignity line and you are ready to stop seeking everyone else's approval long enough to hear your own voice again — we want to walk with you in that.

    The Moving Beyond People Pleasing course is a six-week coaching experience designed to help you build a steadier, stronger sense of who you are in Christ — so that the next decision you face, you face it from a grounded place rather than a depleted one. You will receive focused teaching, practical tools, and live coaching support, with flexibility built in for your schedule.

    https://leslievernick.com/mbpp

    Find more about the Dignity Line and The Minimal Mom here:Dignity Line Resources: https://www.theminimalmom.com/the-lineThe Minimal Mom on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMinimalMom

    Closing Encouragement

    If you have spent years trying to find the right words to explain what is happening inside your home and inside your heart, and you have mostly been met with silence, skepticism, or the quiet suggestion that you simply need to try harder — hear this today: there is a name for what you have been living. There is a line, and it has been crossed. That is not you being unforgiving or selfish or giving up. That is you finally seeing clearly.

    You are not too far gone to rebuild. Your confidence is not gone — it is waiting to be reclaimed, one small decision at a time. God has not abandoned you in this confusion. He is the one who opens eyes in his timing, who walks with women through the wilderness, and who has a long and faithful history of bringing his daughters through to the other side. You do not have to have it all figured out today. You only have to take one next step — and you do not have to take it alone.

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  • Tired of Being Dismissed? How to Stop Over-Functioning and Start Protecting Your Heart

    Tired of Being Dismissed? How to Stop Over-Functioning and Start Protecting Your Heart

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    Tired of Being Dismissed? How to Stop Over-Functioning and Start Protecting Your Heart

    Have you ever found yourself explaining your needs — again — to someone who just doesn't seem to care? Or quietly wondering, *Is something wrong with me for wanting to be seen?* If that question has lived in your chest for too long, this episode is for you.

    In this warm, honest conversation, Leslie Vernick coaches Diana and Leanne sit down to tackle three of the most common — and most painful — questions they hear from women every day: Does lacking boundaries make me codependent? What's a healthy response when my needs are dismissed over and over? And where is the line between being responsible and over-functioning? You'll walk away with real clarity, practical language to use in hard moments, and the faith-rooted reminder that God never intended for you to erase yourself to keep the peace.

    ---

    Key Takeaways

    A Lack of Boundaries Is Often About Survival — Not a Character Flaw

    Codependency isn't a label to shame yourself with — it's often a survival strategy that developed when you learned that love meant silence, sacrifice, and self-forgetting. As Coach Diana reminds us, many women were simply never taught that they were allowed to have needs. Mark 12:31 calls us to love others as we love ourselves — and that verse quietly assumes there is a self worth caring for. Boundaries aren't the opposite of love; they're how you love wisely without disappearing.

    You Don't Have to Beg for What Love Gives Freely

    When your needs are dismissed again and again, your body begins to believe a lie — that you don't matter. Coach Leanne shares honestly that chronic dismissal wears down the soul and scrambles the mind. The healthy response isn't to fight harder for recognition; it's to notice the pattern, name what's happening, and then limit your vulnerability with people who have shown they won't honor it. Psalm 34 reminds us that God is close to the brokenhearted — and you always have an audience with Him, even when others keep turning away.

    Speak Up — Then Let It Be on Them

    Coaches Diana and Leanne offer a powerful, practical framework: state your need clearly and honestly, make a note in your journal that you've said it, and then stop repeating yourself. You are not responsible for making someone understand what they are choosing not to hear. A simple, grounded statement — "I won't continue this conversation without mutual respect in the room" — is not drama. It is dignity. And once you've named it, the next step belongs to them.

    The Difference Between Helping and Rescuing

    Over-functioning crosses a line the moment you start doing for someone else what they are fully capable of doing for themselves — and it costs you something precious. As Coach Leanne puts it: *help empowers, rescuing enables.* If exhaustion, resentment, and fear have become your constant companions, that is your signal. Jesus is the Savior. You were never meant to fill that role — and sometimes stepping back is the most loving and courageous thing you can do, both for yourself and for the person you care about.

    You Get to Steward This One Precious Life

    One of the most beautiful threads woven through this entire conversation is this: you get to have a self. God doesn't ask you to be erased — He invites you to be grounded. Knowing who you are, what you value, and what you are and aren't responsible for is not selfishness. It is faithful stewardship of the life He gave you. When the fog of over-functioning and people-pleasing lifts, you make room to hear His voice again.

    ---

    Personal Invitation

    Friend, if self-doubt, perfectionism, comparison, or people-pleasing have been quietly running your life — this is your moment to take one brave step forward.

    I want to personally invite you to join us for Moving Beyond Insecurity Coaching Week — five days of practical teaching, live coaching, and biblical encouragement designed to help you stop living from insecurity and start walking with clarity, courage, and confidence in Christ. And it's only $17.

    You don't have to keep shrinking back. Come take that one brave step with us:

    https://leslievernick.com/insecurity

    ---

    You are not too much. You are not asking for too much. And you are not alone in this.

    God sees the quiet ache of being overlooked. He is close to the brokenhearted, and He is not asking you to disappear — He is inviting you to show up, rooted in who He says you are, with your voice intact and your dignity restored. Change is possible. Healing is possible. And with His guidance and a little courage, so is the life where your needs are not just tolerated — but honored.

    We are so glad you're here.

  • When Conflict Feels Unsafe: How to Stay Open-Hearted Without Abandoning Yourself

    When Conflict Feels Unsafe: How to Stay Open-Hearted Without Abandoning Yourself

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    When Conflict Feels Unsafe: How to Stay Open-Hearted Without Abandoning Yourself

    Have you ever known the “right” way to communicate, but in the heat of conflict, those tools seem to disappear? In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie sits down with psychologist, speaker, and author Dr. Kelly Flanagan to talk about what really happens inside of us when we get triggered—and how one small, sacred moment of choice can shift us from reactivity toward connection.

    Together, Leslie and Kelly explore why communication often breaks down within us before it breaks down between us, how to recognize when our hearts are closing, and why open-heartedness never means becoming a doormat. This conversation is especially meaningful for women navigating destructive, painful, or confusing relationships who want to grow in wisdom, courage, and Christlike strength without abandoning themselves.

    Key Takeaways Communication Breaks Down Inside Us First

    Dr. Flanagan explains that many people already have communication skills, but when they feel threatened, hurt, or misunderstood, they “close the toolbox” right when they need it most. The real work is not just learning better words—it is learning to notice what is happening inside our bodies, hearts, and nervous systems when we become triggered.

    That moment of awareness creates a pause. And in that pause, we begin to recover our God-given agency to choose a different response.

    You Can Notice When Your Heart Starts to Close

    Kelly describes a triggered moment as a process: the nervous system activates, the heart begins to shift into protection mode, and then we make a quick, often unconscious choice about whether to close down or stay open.

    Leslie connects this with the biblical wisdom of Proverbs: “Above all else, guard your heart.” Guarding your heart does not mean hardening it. It means learning when to pause, when to regulate, and when to make wise choices about what you allow in and what you release.

    Open-Heartedness Does Not Mean Weak Boundaries

    One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is the distinction between an open heart and a lack of boundaries. Dr. Flanagan reminds listeners that the condition of your heart is an inner posture, while boundaries are outer actions.

    An open heart does not make your boundaries weaker—it makes them wiser. For women in destructive or emotionally unsafe relationships, this is crucial. Christlike love does not require self-abandonment, enabling, or pretending harm is not happening.

    Calm Yourself Before You Try to Connect

    Conflict escalates when we try to calm ourselves by controlling someone else’s behavior. Kelly uses the illustration of a furnace: when the “control board” inside us is malfunctioning, we often try to change the weather outside instead of tending to what is happening inside.

    Before we can connect well, we must first regulate. That may mean taking a break, breathing, praying, going to another room, or simply saying, “I’m triggered right now, and I need a little time before I can respond well.”

    Your Growth Is Never Wasted

    Leslie and Kelly offer hope for the woman who has tried everything to get her husband to communicate better, become safer, or look at himself honestly. While you cannot control another person’s choices, you can still do your own work.

    Even if the relationship does not heal the way you hoped, God does not waste your growth. As you become more whole, wise, and grounded, you are better equipped to make faithful, courageous decisions about what comes next.

    Dr. Kelly Flanagan is offering listeners a free video tutorial that walks through the nine-step process from his book, The Road Less Triggered, helping you begin moving from reactivity toward connection.

    To receive the resource, email: [email protected]

    You will also be temporarily subscribed to his online community, The Less Triggered Tribe, with the option to unsubscribe at any time.

    Friend, being triggered does not mean you are failing. It means something inside of you is asking for care, attention, and wisdom.

    You do not have to stay stuck in reactivity, fear, silence, or blame. With God’s help, you can learn to pause, regulate, speak truth, set wise boundaries, and grow into a more whole version of yourself. You are not alone, and even in painful relationships, your healing and growth still matter.

  • Parenting with Someone Who Is Emotionally or Spiritually Unsafe

    Parenting with Someone Who Is Emotionally or Spiritually Unsafe

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    Parenting with Someone Who Is Emotionally or Spiritually Unsafe

    How do you parent well when the other parent is manipulative, emotionally unsafe, spiritually abusive, addictive, or simply unwilling to grow? It’s one of the most painful and exhausting realities many women face after separation, divorce, or even within a difficult marriage.

    In this powerful conversation, Leslie is joined by Michael and Kristin Cary of Living Truth Together to talk honestly about why “friendly co-parenting” is not always realistic—or safe—when the other parent continues destructive patterns. Together, they offer practical boundaries, faith-rooted wisdom, and compassionate guidance for moms who want to protect their children without badmouthing the other parent or getting pulled into more chaos.

    Key Takeaways Friendly Co-Parenting Isn’t Always Possible—or Safe

    Many women are told that if they communicate clearly, stay kind, and “do their part,” co-parenting will become peaceful. But when someone was unsafe in the marriage, separation or divorce doesn’t magically make them safe, reasonable, or cooperative.

    Michael reminds us that issues like sex, money, parenting, addiction, manipulation, and emotional abuse don’t disappear just because a couple is no longer together. In many cases, trying to co-parent closely with an unsafe person only creates more opportunities for harm.

    Boundaries Protect Your Soul and Reduce Unnecessary Conflict

    Kristin shares from her own experience of parenting with a toxic ex-spouse and explains how she learned to put strong boundaries around communication. That meant not answering phone calls, avoiding one-on-one texting when possible, using another person in written communication, meeting in public places, and limiting conversations to only what was necessary.

    These boundaries are not punishment. They are protection. As Leslie points out, when someone has repeatedly shown that engaging with them only brings arrows and harm, wisdom means accepting reality and choosing a safer way forward.

    Loving Yourself Is Not Unchristian

    Many women feel an over-spiritualized obligation to keep sacrificing themselves—to answer every question, calm every outburst, defend every accusation, or rescue the unsafe person from his own consequences. But Jesus told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

    Kristin names a powerful truth: you have agency now. You have authority over your time, energy, body, and emotional well-being. Sacrifice is beautiful when it leads to life and love, but it is not godly wisdom to continually sacrifice yourself to someone who uses your availability to harm you.

    You Can’t Fully Protect Your Children, But You Can Equip Them

    One of the hardest truths for any mother is realizing she cannot completely shield her children from the other parent’s toxicity. Kristin shares the deep surrender of recognizing that God loves her son even more than she does—and that while she can make wise choices, she cannot control everything he experiences.

    That doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means helping your children recognize what is healthy and unhealthy, teaching them that they have choices, listening without using their pain as a weapon, and helping them build their own safety and discernment over time.

    Don’t Put Your Children in the Middle

    When the other parent blames, lies, or spiritually shames you in front of the children, it can be tempting to defend yourself by telling the whole story. But children should not have to carry adult burdens.

    Kristin offers a wise, age-appropriate response: “Adult problems are really complex, and sometimes adults hurt each other in ways children shouldn’t have to understand. This is not your fault. It is not your responsibility to fix it. I love you.” Leslie adds that if something untrue is said, you can calmly say, “That’s not true. Dad is hurt and angry, and he’s saying some things that aren’t true,” without attacking his character.

    You Still Need Support, Rest, and Joy

    Parenting is hard. Parenting in a destructive or broken relationship is even harder. Kristin encourages women to get support, remove nonessentials where possible, and intentionally seek moments of real joy—not numbing or avoiding, but small places of delight and refuge with God.

    Michael reminds us that self-care does not always require large blocks of time. Sometimes it looks like five minutes in the sunshine, a cup of coffee in prayer, a worship song, or a quiet breath before the next hard thing.

    Personal Invitation

    If this episode stirred something in you and you’re wondering, “Where do I even begin?” we want to help you take a clear next step.

    Download Leslie’s Quickstart Guide to begin gaining clarity, courage, and practical direction for your situation. You don’t have to figure everything out at once. Start with one wise step.

    Download the Quickstart Guide here:https://leslievernick.com/guide

    Friend, your situation may feel impossible, especially when the other parent refuses to change, take responsibility, or become safe. But even if he never changes, you can.

    You can become the grounded, steady, emotionally healthy anchor your children need. You can stop dancing the old destructive dance. You can seek support, walk in truth, and learn to protect your heart without hardening it.

    You are not alone. God sees you, He loves your children, and He will give you wisdom for the next right step. Keep walking in truth—one step at a time.

  • Finding Life, Hope, and Healing After Divorce with Jessica Kastner

    Finding Life, Hope, and Healing After Divorce with Jessica Kastner

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    Finding Life, Hope, and Healing After Divorce with Jessica Kastner

    Have you ever wondered if your story is over because your marriage ended? Divorce can feel like a death—of dreams, identity, family, and future. But in this tender and hope-filled conversation, Leslie sits down with author and speaker Jessica Kastner to talk honestly about divorce, grief, shame, healing, and the beautiful truth that God is still writing your story.

    Jessica shares vulnerably from her own journey through divorce, including the pain of rejection, the temptation to rush into another relationship, and the slow, sacred work of learning that God alone is enough. Together, Leslie and Jessica offer compassion, clarity, and biblical hope for women who feel broken, disqualified, or afraid that life will never feel whole again.

    Key TakeawaysDivorce Is Not Your Identity

    Jessica reminds women that divorce may be part of your story, but it is not who you are. Your worth is not determined by whether someone chose you, stayed with you, or left you. God created you with purpose, dignity, and calling—and divorce does not cancel that.

    Grieving Is Necessary Before Rebuilding

    Too often, women try to numb the pain of divorce through dating, busyness, or distraction. Jessica honestly shares how rushing into relationships after her first divorce kept her from grieving and healing. Her encouragement is clear: give yourself time, sit with God in the pain, and allow Him to become your refuge.

    You Don’t Need a Man to Be Whole

    Leslie and Jessica talk about the difference between wanting companionship and needing a relationship in order to be okay. When another person becomes necessary for your worth, security, or identity, they take a place only God can fill. Healing helps you come into any future relationship as a whole adult—not someone looking to be completed.

    Co-Parenting Requires Grace, Boundaries, and Maturity

    Divorce creates painful complications, especially when children are involved. Jessica encourages women to focus on the children’s well-being rather than getting caught in power struggles with an ex-spouse. Leslie adds the importance of keeping your side of the street clean through wise boundaries, limited contact when needed, and calm, clear communication.

    Your Story Is Not Over

    Whether you remarry someday or remain single, your life still matters. Leslie and Jessica challenge the lie that your “best years” are behind you. With God, you can continue to grow, heal, serve, and become a stronger, wiser, more grounded version of yourself.

    Personal Invitation

    Feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Get the Quickstart Guide and take your next step toward clarity, courage, and healing.

    Download the Quickstart Guide here: https://leslievernick.com/guide

    Friend, divorce may feel like the end of everything familiar, but it is not the end of you. God is not surprised by your pain, your questions, or your future. He is near to the brokenhearted, faithful in the wilderness, and able to bring beauty from ashes.

    You are not disqualified. You are not forgotten. And with God’s help, you can grieve, heal, grow, and step into the next chapter of your life with courage and hope.

  • When Faith Has Been Used to Keep You Stuck Kelly’s Story of Abuse, Awakening, and Courage

    When Faith Has Been Used to Keep You Stuck Kelly’s Story of Abuse, Awakening, and Courage

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Have you ever wondered whether what you’re living through is really abuse—or if maybe you’ve just been told for so long to “pray harder,” “submit more,” and “be a better wife” that you no longer trust your own reality? In this deeply honest episode, Leslie sits down with Kelly Yazzie, Leslie Vernick & Company’s community manager, to talk about her painful journey through sexual abuse, spiritual manipulation, coercive control, and the long road to clarity and healing.

    Kelly shares how years of harmful teaching, church responses, and confusion around what God really asks of women kept her trapped in a destructive marriage. But she also offers hope. Through Scripture, truth, support, and courage, Kelly began to reclaim her voice, rebuild her faith, and discover that God does not ask us to suffer our best for someone else’s worst.

    Key Takeaways

    Abuse can begin early and still be hard to nameKelly shares that the abuse in her marriage began on her honeymoon, yet it took her years to fully recognize it for what it was. When harmful behavior is wrapped in spiritual language or normalized by church culture, women often question themselves instead of naming the truth.

    Bad theology can keep women bonded to harmOne of the most heartbreaking parts of Kelly’s story is how often she sought help, only to be sent back into danger. This episode shines a light on how distorted teachings about submission, forgiveness, and suffering can be used to pressure women to endure abuse rather than wisely confront it.

    Biblical submission is not silence, coercion, or one-sided obedienceKelly unpacks how studying Scripture with fresh eyes changed everything for her. She came to see that biblical submission is mutual and rooted in reverence for Christ, not in domination, fear, or forced compliance.

    Healing begins when confusion starts to liftAfter discovering her husband’s adultery, Kelly began questioning everything she had been taught. Through Scripture, Leslie’s book The Emotionally Destructive Marriage, and the support of safe women, the fog began to clear and she could finally see the manipulation and control for what it was.

    You are the one who must choose before GodOne of the most powerful moments in this episode is Kelly’s reminder that she was the one who had to make the decision about her future. Even when spiritual leaders pressured her toward a certain outcome, she learned that a godly woman must discern, with God’s help, what is true, wise, and necessary for her own safety and stewardship.

    A Personal Invitation

    If Kelly’s story stirred something in you and you’re realizing you need clarity, support, and a safer next step, the Quick Start Guide is a wonderful place to begin. It’s designed to help you better understand what’s happening in your relationship, ground yourself in truth, and take wise, practical steps forward.

    Get the Quick Start Guide here: https://leslievernick.com/guide

    Friend, if you have been living under the weight of fear, confusion, or spiritual pressure, please hear this: God sees you. He is not asking you to deny reality in order to be faithful. He is a God of truth, love, wisdom, and light.

    There is hope for healing. There is freedom on the other side of confusion. And with God’s help, you can reclaim your voice, renew your faith, and take your next step in courage.

  • Boundaries, Overfunctioning, and Finding Your Voice in Difficult Relationships

    Boundaries, Overfunctioning, and Finding Your Voice in Difficult Relationships

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Boundaries, Overfunctioning, and Finding Your Voice in Difficult Relationships

    Have you ever tried to set a boundary
 only to feel shut down, ignored, or even guilted into backing down?

    In this honest and practical episode, Leslie is joined by trusted coach Diana Bala to walk through real-life questions women face every day—how to hold boundaries when someone is angry, how to navigate emotionally draining family dynamics, and how to stop overfunctioning in relationships. Together, they offer compassionate wisdom, biblical truth, and actionable steps to help you move from confusion and exhaustion to clarity and courage.

    Key Takeaways

    1. Boundaries Are About Your Actions—Not Controlling TheirsOne of the biggest misunderstandings about boundaries is thinking they’re about stopping someone else’s behavior. They’re not. Boundaries are about what you will do when someone behaves in a way that feels unsafe or unhealthy.Instead of saying, “You can’t yell at me,” a healthier boundary is: “I’m not willing to stay in this conversation when you’re yelling.” This shift empowers you to take responsibility for your own well-being.

    2. Staying Grounded When Emotions EscalateWhen someone raises their voice or pressures you, your body naturally reacts. You may feel anxious, frozen, or overwhelmed—and that’s normal.Learning to regulate yourself in those moments—through grounding, breathing, and staying focused on your boundary—helps you avoid getting pulled into circular arguments. You don’t have to respond to every accusation; you can calmly repeat your boundary and disengage.

    3. Small Boundaries Still Count (And Build Courage)If strong, direct boundaries feel unsafe or overwhelming, start small. Even saying, “I can’t talk right now,” or taking a break can be a powerful first step.These small shifts begin to change the dynamic. They also give you valuable information about how safe the relationship truly is—and whether additional support or a safety plan may be needed.

    4. You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s ReactionsThis is one of the hardest truths to accept: people may feel disappointed, angry, or upset when you set a boundary—and that doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.Just as Jesus didn’t say “yes” to everyone, you are allowed to honor your limits. You can be kind and empathetic toward someone’s feelings without taking responsibility for managing them.

    5. Overfunctioning Keeps Others From GrowingOverfunctioning often comes from a good heart—but it can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and imbalance. It may even prevent others from stepping into their own responsibilities.Ask yourself: What am I getting out of this? and Is this actually helping—or enabling?Letting go of overfunctioning means setting internal boundaries first—deciding what you will and won’t carry—and then consistently following through, even when it feels uncomfortable.

    If you’re in a relationship that feels confusing, draining, or even destructive, you don’t have to figure this out alone.

    The CONQUER Membership is a safe, faith-based space designed specifically for Christian women who want clarity, healing, and practical support. Inside, you’ll find biblical teaching, live coaching, and a community of women walking a similar path.

    👉 Learn more here: https://leslievernick.com/membership

    Friend, learning to set boundaries isn’t about becoming harsh or unkind—it’s about becoming whole.

    God cares deeply about your dignity, your safety, and your well-being. As you begin to take even small steps toward honoring yourself, you are also stepping closer to the life of peace and freedom He desires for you.

    You are not alone in this journey. With courage, practice, and God’s guidance, change is possible.

  • Healing After Betrayal – Moving from Broken to Brave with Tammy Gustafson

    Healing After Betrayal – Moving from Broken to Brave with Tammy Gustafson

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Healing After Betrayal – Moving from Broken to Brave with Tammy Gustafson

    Have you ever done everything you were told a “good Christian wife” should do—pray harder, forgive quickly, submit more—only to find yourself deeply betrayed and wondering where God is in the middle of it all?

    In this powerful conversation, Leslie sits down with counselor, speaker, and author Tammy Gustafson to talk honestly about betrayal trauma and the unique struggles Christian women face when their marriages are shattered by infidelity or sexual betrayal. Together, they unpack the spiritual confusion, misplaced responsibility, and emotional pain many women carry—and offer a path toward courageous, honest healing.

    If you’ve ever felt trapped between your faith and your pain, this episode will help you find clarity, permission, and hope for moving from broken to brave.

    Key Takeaways

    When Faith Messages Keep Women Stuck

    Many Christian women struggle to heal after betrayal because of harmful messages they’ve internalized—messages about submission, silence, and being responsible for their husband’s behavior. These teachings can make women feel small, guilty, or spiritually obligated to ignore their own pain. True healing requires untangling these distortions and rediscovering the heart of God, who sees and cares about the pain of betrayal.

    Anger Is Not the Enemy—It’s Part of Healing

    Anger is a normal and healthy response to betrayal. In fact, it’s often the energy that empowers women to set boundaries, find their voice, and begin healing. Tammy explains the difference between healthy anger, which helps us process grief, and rage, which harms. Suppressing anger often keeps women stuck, while honestly expressing it can move healing forward.

    Why His Healing Can’t Be Your Job

    After betrayal, many women instinctively focus on their husband’s shame, regret, or recovery. But this often stops the healing process. Tammy explains that true restoration begins when each person stays in their own “shoes”—the betrayer doing the hard work of repentance and change, and the betrayed partner focusing on her own healing. When that balance is restored, real transformation becomes possible.

    Forgiveness Has a Process—And It Can’t Be Forced

    Many Christian women are pressured to forgive quickly, but premature forgiveness can actually shut down the healing process. Forgiveness doesn’t mean the betrayal was okay, and it doesn’t guarantee reconciliation. Instead, forgiveness usually comes after truth-telling, grieving, and processing anger. When women allow healing to unfold in the right order, forgiveness becomes freeing rather than forced.

    Brave Healing Requires Strength and Self-Honor

    Moving from broken to brave means stepping into your God-given worth and refusing to minimize the harm done to you. It means honoring your grief, setting boundaries, and recognizing that you deserve safety, honesty, and respect. Though this path may feel unfamiliar—or even selfish—it is often the courageous step toward real healing and freedom.

    If this conversation resonates with you, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to navigate these questions by yourself.

    If you’re wondering whether what you’re experiencing is actually abuse—even if there’s no physical violence—I invite you to join my upcoming workshop:

    Conquer Workshop: If He Doesn’t Hit Me, Is It Still Abuse? God Cares.Register here: https://leslievernick.com/masterclass

    This workshop will help you understand what healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics really look like—and what God says about your safety, dignity, and well-being.

    Tammy is also offering a powerful resource for women navigating betrayal recovery:

    To access the freebie, click here: https://betrayalhealing.thrivecart.com/webinar-series-her-work/?coupon=LVFREE26

    Her training will help you understand what helps—and what hurts—the healing process after betrayal.

    Friend, if you are walking through the devastation of betrayal right now, please hear this: your pain matters, and God sees it.

    Healing may take time. It may require courage you didn’t know you had. But you are not alone, and this painful chapter does not have to define the rest of your story.

    With God’s help, wisdom, and the right support, it is possible to move from brokenness to strength—from confusion to clarity—and from despair to hope.

    And I’m cheering you on every step of the way.

  • Finding Hope in the Deepest Pain

    Finding Hope in the Deepest Pain

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Finding Hope in the Deepest Pain

    What happens when the unthinkable becomes your reality—and yet you still choose faith?

    In today’s deeply moving episode, Leslie sits down with Hope Hooton, a courageous mother, advocate, and follower of Jesus whose life changed forever in May 2024 when her two children, Alec and Lydia, were tragically killed during court-ordered visitation with their father. In the midst of unspeakable grief, Hope has chosen to trust God and use her voice to protect other children.

    Through her testimony, advocacy, and new memoir releasing today, Hope reminds us that even in devastating loss, God’s presence can still be found—and that purpose can rise from the deepest pain.

    Key Takeaways

    Recognizing the Red Flags of AbuseLooking back, Hope can now clearly see the warning signs in her marriage—manipulation, gaslighting, emotional control, financial abuse, and power struggles. Abuse rarely starts dramatically; it often unfolds subtly over time. Naming these patterns is the first step toward protecting yourself and your children.

    When Systems Fail to Protect ChildrenDespite documented domestic violence and severe mental illness, the court granted Hope’s husband unsupervised visitation with their young children. This devastating decision highlights a heartbreaking reality many mothers face: the family court system often prioritizes parental rights over child safety.

    Faith That Holds in the Darkest NightAfter losing her children, Hope’s life as she knew it disappeared overnight. Yet in her grief, she clung tightly to God’s presence—spending time in prayer, journaling, and meditating on Scripture. Proverbs 3:5–6 became her lifeline: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

    Turning Tragedy Into PurposeHope refused to allow her children’s story to end in silence. Through her social media platform Hope In The Pain, she shares encouragement, faith, and the reality of walking through grief with God. She also hosts the Voices Against Filicide Podcast, raising awareness about domestic violence, the abuse cycle, and cases of child homicide across the country.

    Honoring Alec and Lydia Through AdvocacyHope is now working with Arizona lawmakers to create stronger protections for children in custody cases. Her advocacy is helping bring critical attention to how family courts handle domestic violence and mental illness when making custody decisions.

    Resources Mentioned

    Hope’s New Memoir is Available TODAY (March 9):There's Still Hope: A Journey of Adversity, Tragedy, and Unbreakable Faith

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/1969338903

    Arizona Legislation Honoring Alec & LydiaArizona legislation HB2995 has already passed the Arizona House of Representatives and is now moving forward to the Arizona Senate. This bill, referred to as The Alec and Lydia Act, aims to strengthen protections for children in family court cases by ensuring judges receive training in domestic violence, coercive control, trauma response, and mental illness when making custody decisions.

    Please join us in praying that this legislation passes the Arizona Senate, helping protect vulnerable children and families across the state.

    Hope’s Podcast:Voices Against Filicide

    Follow Hope on Social Media:Hope In The Pain (Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube)

    Hope’s Links and Advocacy Resources:https://linktr.ee/hopeinthepain?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=ccf41026-a8de-4055-9869-c221b71b91bf

    Personal Invitation

    If today’s conversation resonated with you—if you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship is simply difficult, deeply disappointing, or actually destructive—clarity is the first step toward wisdom and safety.

    Leslie has created a free resource to help you understand what you’re dealing with and what healthy next steps might look like.

    Download the Relationship Quick Start Guide here:https://leslievernick.com/guide

    This guide will help you discern the difference between difficult, disappointing, and destructive relationships, and begin moving forward with truth, courage, and biblical wisdom.

    Hope’s story is a reminder that even when life breaks our hearts in unimaginable ways, God has not abandoned us.

    Pain may be part of our story, but it is never the end of it.

    If you are walking through grief, fear, or confusion today, remember this: God sees you, He is near to the brokenhearted, and with His help you can take the next step forward.

    There is still hope.

  • Who Has God Called You to Be? Rediscovering Your Identity Beyond Your Role

    Who Has God Called You to Be? Rediscovering Your Identity Beyond Your Role

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Have you ever looked in the mirror and quietly wondered, “Who am I really?”

    Not what you do. Not the roles you play. Not what others expect of you. But who you truly are.

    In this deeply honest and hope-filled conversation, I’m joined again by our team coach, Susan King, as we explore what Scripture says about your identity—not just your duties. Together, we unpack how Christian women—especially those in destructive or emotionally unhealthy marriages—lose their sense of self and how to begin reclaiming the woman God created you to be. If you’ve been pretending things are “fine” when they aren’t, this episode will gently guide you back to truth, clarity, and courage.

    Key Takeaways1. You Are Called to Be, Not Just to Do

    So many women are taught their role—wife, mom, helper—but not their identity. Yet Scripture tells us something far deeper.

    You are God’s handiwork (Ephesians 2:10). You are a chosen daughter, a royal priesthood, set apart and beloved. Before you accomplish anything, before you serve anyone, your identity is secure in Christ.

    When we begin reading the Bible not as a rulebook but as a mirror—asking, “What does this say about who God is and who I am?”—everything changes.

    2. If You’ve Been Pretending, It’s Time to Come Home to Yourself

    One brave listener asked, “How do I find out who I am? I feel like I’ve been pretending most of my life.”

    If that’s you, start here:

    What have you been pretending to be?What would change if you stopped pretending?What virtues reflect who you truly are?

    Your identity is not your temporary emotions. It’s not others’ opinions. It’s rooted in your God-given character and values.

    Notice when you lose track of time because you’re fully alive. Notice what brings you joy. Notice what stirs your heart. These clues aren’t selfish—they’re sacred.

    3. Why So Many Christian Women Lose Themselves

    In destructive or controlling marriages, women often experience subtle erosion—constant undermining, gaslighting, or isolation. Over time, they internalize the belief that their thoughts, needs, and feelings don’t matter.

    But even in “good” marriages, many women self-abandon. We’ve been taught that becoming “one” means losing ourselves. That loving means over-functioning. That serving means silencing our voice.

    That is not biblical oneness. That is erasure.

    Healthy oneness honors two whole people—each with a voice, a body, and a soul.

    4. Caring for Yourself Is Stewardship, Not Selfishness

    So many women struggle with shame when they begin asking, “What do I need?”

    But Scripture never calls you to neglect yourself. Jesus modeled rest, solitude, nourishment, and boundaries.

    Stewarding your one precious life is not self-absorption—it’s obedience. When your tank is empty, you cannot love wisely. Putting your oxygen mask on first isn’t selfish; it’s responsible.

    Ask yourself:

    What brought me joy today?What drained me?What small change would help me show up as my best self?

    Small awareness leads to big transformation.

    5. “He’s Fine”
 But You’re Not

    One of the most painful dynamics women describe is this:“My husband acts like everything is fine. And I start doubting myself.”

    Here’s the truth:Things may genuinely be fine for him.

    But that doesn’t mean they’re fine for you.

    You are allowed to be a separate self with separate experiences. Instead of arguing about whether things are “really fine,” try saying:“I understand that this feels okay to you. But it’s not okay for me. And that matters.”

    Healthy love cares when something isn’t fine for the other person.

    If you’re realizing that you’ve lost sight of who you are
If you’ve been stuck pretending
If you feel erased in your own life


    You don’t have to figure this out alone.

    Join Walking in CORE Strength, our transformational program designed to help you rediscover your voice, rebuild your confidence, and grow strong from the inside out—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

    Learn more and join here:👉 https://leslievernick.com/strong

    Sweet friend, you are not just a role.You are not invisible.You are not too much—or not enough.

    You are God’s beloved daughter.

    Even if you’ve been pretending for years, it is not too late to come home to yourself. With God’s help and a little courage, you can grow into the strong, dignified, wise woman He created you to be.

    You are not alone.And change is possible.

    Until next time, take gentle care of your heart.

  • When Faith Meets Reality: Accepting the Truth About an Abusive Marriage

    When Faith Meets Reality: Accepting the Truth About an Abusive Marriage

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Have you ever thought you finally met the right one—only to discover, painfully, that everything he said was a lie?

    In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Leslie Vernick sits down with media expert and speaker Beverly Hallberg to unpack her harrowing journey through a deceptive and destructive marriage. From whirlwind courtship to abuse behind closed doors, Beverly opens up about the spiritual confusion, grief, and courage it took to get free—and the God who never left her. This is an episode every woman navigating confusing relationship dynamics needs to hear.

    Key Takeaways“He Wasn’t Who He Said He Was”: The Power of Deception

    Beverly shares how her abuser cloaked himself in faith, family values, and kindness—appearing to be the ideal match. But soon after the wedding, the mask dropped. She explains how yellow flags were hidden in grief, charm, and shared spiritual language, making discernment incredibly difficult.→ You’re not foolish if you didn’t see it. These relationships are built on intentional deceit.

    When Abuse is Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual

    From subtle sabotage to explosive rage and spiritual manipulation, Beverly's marriage wasn’t just disappointing—it was destructive. She bravely recounts the patterns of control, harm, and gaslighting that unraveled her emotionally and physically.→ Abuse is not just about bruises. It’s about patterns that diminish, devalue, and destroy.

    God Doesn’t Value Marriage Over Safety

    Wrestling with Scripture and shame, Beverly found clarity in truth: God cares more about the people in the marriage than preserving the institution at all costs. Biblical wisdom and wise counsel helped her see that staying would harm not just her—but enable his sin.→ God does not call you to stay in harm’s way to keep a vow someone else already broke.

    Healing Isn’t Linear—but It’s Real

    Beverly shares her long road back to emotional and spiritual wholeness. From losing her in-laws to enduring an ectopic pregnancy alone, her healing came through community, Scripture, and reclaiming her voice.→ You can heal. It takes time, safe people, and honesty—but freedom is possible.

    To the Woman Who Feels Stuck: You Are Not Alone

    Speaking directly to women who may not have the resources or support Beverly did, she offers wisdom on safety planning, building a support system, and why even one safe parent can make all the difference for children.→ The first step is to tell someone. God will meet you as you take that step.

    Personal Invitation

    If Beverly’s story hit close to home, you might be wondering, How am I supposed to be OK, when he's not? That’s a critical question, and you don’t have to answer it alone. Leslie is offering a free, faith-based webinar designed to give you the clarity and confidence to take your next right step.

    During this free training, we will cover:

    How to clearly define your problem, the other person’s problem (at least in your opinion), and the problem in your relationship.The difference between love that’s motivated by fear and love that’s motivated by freedom—and what it takes to make the switch.How to listen beneath the surface of nice words, flattery, and love bombing to discern what’s true so that you can make good choices going forward.How to build your own internal strength so that his weaknesses—or yours—don’t get the best of you....and much more.

    Reserve your spot now: https://leslievernick.com/problem

    Beloved, God sees. He sees your tears, your confusion, your exhaustion—and He cares. You are not alone, and you are not beyond hope. No matter how deep the pain or how tangled the web, God is a God of truth, healing, and freedom. You don’t have to figure it all out today. Just take the next brave step.

    You were made for more than survival. You were made to live in peace, truth, and safety.

    Watch Mike Winger’s message on abuse and divorce: View Here

  • When Should I Talk to a Lawyer (Even If I'm Not Planning to Divorce?)

    When Should I Talk to a Lawyer (Even If I'm Not Planning to Divorce?)

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    When Should I Talk to a Lawyer (Even If I'm Not Planning to Divorce?)

    Have you ever wondered if reaching out to a lawyer makes you disloyal—or unfaithful—to your marriage or to God?Many Christian women in painful or destructive relationships fear that even considering legal advice is a betrayal. But today’s episode is here to shine light on the truth: seeking legal counsel doesn’t mean you’re filing for divorce—it means you’re taking wise, informed steps to protect yourself, your children, and your peace of mind.

    Leslie welcomes back trusted friend and family law attorney Maryann Modesti, who brings over 30 years of experience and gospel-centered wisdom to this critical conversation. Whether you're feeling stuck, scared, or simply unsure of what’s next, this episode will empower you to walk in truth, courage, and godly stewardship—without shame.

    Key Takeaways1. Seeking Legal Counsel is Not a Sin

    Talking to a lawyer does not equal filing for divorce. It's a step toward wisdom, clarity, and stewardship.God calls us to seek truth, especially when we’re confused or afraid. Consulting a lawyer allows you to understand your rights and responsibilities and prepares you for whatever path you may need to take next.

    2. Red Flags That Signal It’s Time to Get Information

    Subtle but destructive behaviors—like isolation, financial control, hidden assets, gaslighting, or coercion—can erode your identity and safety. If you're constantly doubting yourself or feel emotionally trapped, it's time to seek clarity from a legal professional—even if you're not ready to leave.

    3. Delay Can Have Serious Consequences

    Waiting too long can cost you financially, emotionally, and relationally—especially when children are involved. Without legal awareness, women risk losing financial control, custody advantages, and personal agency. Abuse often escalates, and silence can cause deeper damage over time.

    4. Choose the Right Kind of Lawyer

    Look for integrity, experience, and someone who truly listens and understands the nuances of covert abuse, religious manipulation, or controlling behaviors. A trustworthy attorney doesn’t just fight—she counsels, balances wisdom with practicality, and helps you discern the cost of peace over the cost of war.

    5. You’re Not Being Ungodly—You’re Being Wise

    God cares deeply about your safety, your sanity, and the well-being of your children. Seeking legal counsel is part of being a faithful steward of the life, resources, and role God has entrusted to you. Truth is never the enemy of faith—it is the foundation of it.

    Need Help Navigating These Hard Realities?If someone else’s behaviors are affecting your peace, we invite you to our free webinar:

    I'm Not Okay When You're Not Okay

    You’ll learn how to set healthy emotional boundaries, recognize what's yours to carry, and protect your well-being even when others don’t change.

    You Are Not Alone

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this: gathering information is not rebellion—it’s wisdom.You don’t have to make big decisions today, but you do deserve to understand your options. God is with you in this process. He is for your dignity, your healing, and your future. You are not powerless—you are being equipped. And we’re walking with you.

  • Resilience After Abuse What It Really Means and How to Rebuild

    Resilience After Abuse What It Really Means and How to Rebuild

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Resilience After Abuse: What It Really Means and How to Rebuild

    Key Takeaways

    Have you ever felt so broken by your past that the idea of “resilience” feels impossible or even offensive?You're not alone. In this honest and hope-filled conversation, Leslie sits down with licensed therapist and trauma expert Tabitha Westbrook to unpack what true resilience looks like after abuse, trauma, or coercive control. They explore how healing is not about forgetting the past or slapping on a spiritual Band-Aid, but about gently—and courageously—cleaning off your front porch, one step at a time.

    If you're feeling numb, overwhelmed, or wondering why you're not "over it yet," this episode will ground you in truth, compassion, and practical steps to begin rebuilding—body, mind, and spirit.

    Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode:

    Resilience Isn’t Pretending It Didn’t HappenTrue resilience doesn’t mean denying the trauma or "getting over it." It means facing what’s been dumped on your porch—the trash, the rats, the grief—and slowly beginning to clean it up. You may not have caused the mess, but you are worthy of healing and peace.

    “You’re not responsible for the trash that was thrown on your porch—but you are responsible for whether or not you leave it there.” – Tabitha Westbrook

    Healing Happens One Bag at a TimeYou don’t have to sweep the entire porch in one day. Progress might look like removing one trash bag, asking a friend for help, or simply opening the front door. Healing is a slow, strengthening process. Each step builds capacity and courage.

    “Even if all you do today is open the door and breathe, that’s progress.”

    Boundaries Are Part of ResilienceSetting healthy boundaries with people who have harmed you—or who continue to—is not unloving. It’s wise. And sometimes, healing means evaluating whether certain relationships need to shift or even end. But estrangement isn’t always the only option.

    “Resilience includes discernment—who gets to come to the gate, who stays on the sidewalk, and who doesn’t get to be in your yard at all.”

    Your Body Is Not the Enemy—It’s a MessengerMany women have been taught to ignore their feelings or bodily cues, especially in the church. But trauma is stored in the body, and your body can alert you to danger or truth—even when your mind can’t make sense of it. Learning to listen to your body is a sacred act of healing.

    “Your shoulders don’t have lips—but they speak through tension, pain, and nausea. Listen to what your body is trying to tell you.”

    Triggers Are Opportunities, Not FailuresIf you're still getting triggered, it doesn’t mean you're failing. It means your body is showing you something that still needs tending. Healing is not linear—and it never ends this side of heaven. But each trigger is an invitation to deeper understanding and growth.

    “When you’re triggered, it’s not time to shame yourself. It’s time to ask: What is this showing me? Where do I still need care and kindness?”

    Feeling Stuck? You're Not Alone—And You’re Not Broken.

    If you’re in a season where even opening your front door feels impossible, please know this: You don't have to do it alone. Asking for help is a holy, courageous first step. Whether it's a friend, a support group, or a therapist, reaching out can be the beginning of your transformation.

    Final Encouragement

    Sweet friend, healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel pain again—it means the pain won’t own you. You were made for more than just surviving. With God’s help and your brave yes, you can rebuild your life, reclaim your voice, and rediscover your worth.

    You are not too far gone. You are not too broken. And you are not alone.

    Learn more about Tabitha and her book: Body and Soul: Healed and Wholehttps://www.tabithawestbrook.com

  • When Healing Isn’t Instant: Reframing Mental Health, Faith, and Finding Your Next Step

    When Healing Isn’t Instant: Reframing Mental Health, Faith, and Finding Your Next Step

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    When Healing Isn’t Instant: Reframing Mental Health, Faith, and Finding Your Next Step

    Have you ever wondered if your struggles with anxiety, depression, or trauma mean you're not “spiritual enough”? Maybe you've tried praying harder, reading your Bible more, or pushing yourself to “have more faith,” yet you're still stuck. If so, you're not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong.

    In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with one of our incredible coaches, Susan King, to explore the shame many women feel around mental health and emotional struggles. Together, we unpack harmful spiritual myths, why healing is often a journey, and how to take faithful, empowered steps forward—even when life feels overwhelming.

    Whether you’re navigating separation, burnout, or simply trying to figure out where to start, this conversation will offer you clarity, comfort, and practical wisdom for your next step.

    Key TakeawaysYou Can Love Jesus Deeply and Still Need Help

    Too many women have been told that anxiety or depression means their faith is weak. Susan and I challenge this harmful belief, pointing to biblical figures like David, Elijah, and Paul—deeply faithful people who struggled emotionally. God meets us in our weakness, not with condemnation but with compassion.

    Spiritual Maturity Doesn’t Mean Avoiding Hard Emotions

    Misinterpretations of Scripture—like reading "do not be anxious" as a command rather than comfort—can lead to unnecessary guilt. Healing is a process, and God often uses tools like counseling, medication, and support to bring restoration. You’re not a failure if you need help.

    Your Desires Matter—Even in the Messy Middle

    We talk about the tension between accepting your current chapter and still longing for something more. Is it wrong to want change? Absolutely not. God invites us to co-author our story with Him. Discovering your God-given desires and letting go of comparison is part of living authentically and faithfully.

    Get Curious About Your Internal World

    When life feels overwhelming, it’s not just about a to-do list. Sometimes resistance comes from fear—of failure, disapproval, or making a mistake. We share powerful tools like brain dumping and identifying your internal vs. external work so you can get unstuck and take your next step with clarity.

    Small Steps Can Shift Everything

    Healing and change don’t require massive leaps. A 2% shift—whether that's taking a breath, letting go of perfectionism, or asking, “Who do I want to be today?”—can redirect your day and your life. Start small, stay curious, and trust that God is with you in every step.

    💛 Ready for Real Change? Join Us in Empowered to Change

    If this conversation resonated with you, we’d love to walk with you further. Empowered to Change is our transformative coaching program designed to help women just like you break free from destructive patterns, build internal strength, and create real, lasting change—with God at the center.

    👉 Join Empowered to Change today: https://leslievernick.com/growth

    Sister, you are not broken beyond repair. You are not failing because you’re struggling. Healing is not a race—it’s a sacred journey. Whether you’re just beginning or you’re in the messy middle, know this: God sees you. He is with you. And step by step, with truth and grace, you can grow.

    You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s keep walking in truth—together.

  • From Confused to Courageous: Stories of Healing Through Empowered to Change Part 2

    From Confused to Courageous: Stories of Healing Through Empowered to Change Part 2

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    What does it really take to go from paralyzing fear and emotional confusion to courageous clarity and freedom? In Part 2 of our conversation, Coach LeAnne Parsons continues her heart-stirring dialogue with three women who bravely walked the journey of healing inside Empowered to Change. This week, we go deeper—unpacking the exact tools, mindset shifts, and faith-filled decisions that helped them disentangle their lives and rediscover who they truly are in Christ.

    If you've ever felt stuck in shame, unsure if you could trust again, or wondered if real change is even possible—this episode is your answer.

    Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode

    Why They Finally Said Yes to HealingEach woman shares her unique tipping point—the moment when the pain of staying the same outweighed the fear of stepping into the unknown. For some, it was physical symptoms. For others, it was the ache of isolation. But for all three, it became clear: it was time to stop surviving and start healing.

    The Power of Safe, Christ-Centered CommunityHealing happens in the light. From hesitant strangers to trusted sisters, these women describe how their Empowered to Change group became a safe haven where their stories were honored, their pain was validated, and their growth was celebrated—without judgment, shame, or superficial fixes.

    Tools that Actually Change LivesFrom practicing hard conversations in the mirror, to disentangling emotional confusion with thought journals and boundaries, these women used practical tools that reshaped how they thought, spoke, and showed up in their relationships. This isn’t inspiration for inspiration’s sake—it’s real transformation, step-by-step.

    Confidence Built on Courage, Not PerfectionThey didn’t wait until they felt “ready” or confident. They showed up afraid—but they showed up. And as they practiced courage in community, confidence followed. As Christine beautifully shared, “Confidence is the fruit of choosing courage—even when your voice shakes”.

    Sustainable Change for the Long HaulNearly five years after completing Empowered to Change, these women are still growing, still connected, and still walking in truth. They’ve moved from reactive living to intentional, Christ-centered wholeness—testifying that healing isn’t a one-time moment, but a lifestyle of learning, growing, and living loved.

    Ready to Step Into a New Chapter?

    If their stories stirred something in your heart, maybe it’s your time too. Empowered to Change is a six-month coaching journey for Christian women who are ready to stop surviving and start growing. Whether you’re in a hard marriage, dealing with past wounds, or trying to reclaim your voice—you don’t have to walk it alone.

    👉 Join Empowered to Change and experience a safe, Christ-centered community where healing is possible and growth is sustainable.

    Closing Encouragement

    Sister, healing takes courage, but you don’t have to be fearless to begin. If you’re tired of the fog, the shame, and the loneliness, let today be your turning point. You are not broken beyond repair. You are not too late. And you are never alone. Let God be the lifter of your head, and let us walk with you into a new chapter of healing and hope.

    Come and see—there’s more on the other side of your fear.

  • From Confused to Courageous: Stories of Healing Through Empowered to Change Part 1

    From Confused to Courageous: Stories of Healing Through Empowered to Change Part 1

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Have you ever looked at your life and thought, "I can’t keep living like this
 but I don’t know how to change?" You’re not alone, friend. In this powerful episode, you’ll hear from three courageous women—Rhonda, Jill, and Christine—who were once stuck in confusion, fear, and shame. Now, they stand rooted in truth, strengthened by faith, and empowered by the work they’ve done inside the Empowered to Change program.

    Coach LeAnne Parsons sits down with these remarkable women, five years after their journey began, to reflect on where they were, how they’ve grown, and what God has done in their lives. If your heart feels heavy today, this episode will offer hope, practical insight, and a glimpse into what’s truly possible when you say “yes” to healing and to yourself.

    Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode

    From Lost and Ashamed to Seen and SupportedJill opens up about entering the program weighed down by shame, depression, and confusion. She believed she should have known better—but instead found a safe place where she was accepted, equipped, and no longer alone. Now, she walks in truth and dignity, not because life is perfect, but because she’s no longer powerless.

    Rediscovering Identity After a Lifetime of DependencyRhonda shares how she entered Empowered to Change with no clear identity, having lived in deep dependency her entire life. Marriage didn’t fix her wounds—it exposed them. Through the program, she learned to recognize her God-given worth, reclaim her voice, and stand firm as a grown woman walking in wholeness.

    A Journey from Confusion to Clarity, Rooted in ScriptureChristine recounts her fear and confusion before starting the program—feeling small, stuck, and isolated. But through scriptural truth, community support, and courageous steps, she’s now a Bible teacher and advocate, using her story to help other women find their way out of the dark.

    The Power of Safe Community and Shared GrowthAll three women emphasized how healing was multiplied in the context of safe, God-centered community. Their friendships have lasted well beyond the program, showing that transformation isn’t just a personal journey—it thrives in connection with others who see your pain, remind you of your truth, and cheer you on.

    Practical Tools that Build Emotional and Spiritual ResilienceFrom practicing healthy detachment, to learning how to speak up with confidence, to identifying cycles of dysfunction—these women testify that real tools and real growth are available. And while the journey wasn’t easy, it was absolutely worth it.

    Ready to Step Into Your Own Healing?

    If you resonated with Rhonda, Jill, or Christine’s stories, let this be your nudge. Empowered to Change is a six-month group coaching program for Christian women who are ready to take brave steps toward clarity, healing, and confidence. You’ll be supported every step of the way by a dedicated coach and a compassionate community.

    👉 Join Empowered to Change today and discover how to rewrite your story—not as the victim, but as the hero God created you to be.

    Closing Encouragement

    Sweet sister, you are not too far gone, too broken, or too late. God’s mercies are new every morning, and healing is not only possible—it’s promised when we walk with Him. You are not alone. Your story matters. And with clarity, courage, and Christ, you can live free, whole, and empowered.

    Don’t miss Part 2 of this powerful conversation—coming next week, right here on Relationship Truth Unfiltered.

  • Can I Ever Love Again? A Story of Hope After Unimaginable Loss with Michelle Hord

    Can I Ever Love Again? A Story of Hope After Unimaginable Loss with Michelle Hord

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to love again after your heart has been shattered? Maybe you've walked through a painful divorce, betrayal, or even the loss of someone dear—and the thought of opening your heart again feels terrifying, or even wrong. In today’s powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michelle Hord, author of The Other Side of Yet, a woman who has endured the unimaginable: the murder of her daughter by her abusive ex-husband.

    But this is not just a story of tragedy—it's a story of grace, growth, and God's unexpected redemption.

    Michelle returns to share the sacred, surprising journey of rebuilding her life, falling in love again, and finding joy in a new marriage and motherhood after loss. She offers faith-filled wisdom on doing the internal work, discerning true safety, and honoring both grief and growth. If you’re wondering if God can write a new chapter in your story—this episode is for you.

    Key Takeaways:

    Healing Comes Before Rebuilding Michelle didn’t go searching for love—she focused on healing. Through grief, therapy, prayer, and service, she slowly began to rebuild from the inside out. She emphasizes that true readiness for a new relationship starts with doing your own work, not rushing into rescue.

    “You have one Savior—and you won’t meet Him at church or a party. Don’t look for someone to rescue you when God is the One writing your rescue story.”

    Emotional Safety Is Non-Negotiable After surviving emotional abuse, Michelle shares how she learned to recognize and prioritize safety over charm. In her new relationship, she tested boundaries, voiced concerns early, and paid attention to how her new partner responded to her “no.”

    “I realized that God doesn't want me to be with someone I fear. Respect, kindness, and feeling cherished are non-negotiables—not luxuries.”

    Guilt Isn’t a Prerequisite for Grief Michelle vulnerably shares the emotional tension of finding joy again after her daughter’s death—and how she wrestled with feeling “allowed” to experience happiness. She reminds us that grief and joy can coexist, and choosing joy honors those we've lost.

    “God's purpose for me didn't end with my daughter’s death. Joy doesn’t erase grief—it expands around it.”

    Redefining Strength and Speaking Up Many Christian women were never taught to know or express their needs. Michelle explains how learning to speak honestly, set boundaries, and stop minimizing her discomfort was key to breaking unhealthy patterns and cultivating real intimacy.

    “We often teach others how to treat us by what we tolerate. Don’t make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort.”

    There Is Life After the Valley Today, Michelle is remarried to a man who cherishes her, and they share a son, Alexander. Her journey proves that even after devastation, God is still writing beautiful new chapters—not in spite of the pain, but through it.

    “God’s mercies are new every morning. He can bring light out of your darkest place—and it doesn't mean you’re forgetting what came before.”

    Personal Invitation: Ready for a Breakthrough?

    If you're resonating with Michelle’s story and wondering how to begin again—or even if you can—then don’t miss Leslie’s upcoming free webinar, Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough.

    You’ll gain clarity, courage, and biblical tools to stop spinning in circles and start stepping into healing.

    Register now at: leslievernick.com/stuck

    Closing Encouragement

    Friend, if you're listening today and your heart is aching, please hear this: your story is not over. What you’ve endured does not disqualify you from love, joy, or a meaningful life. Whether your grief is public or private, whether your pain feels “big enough” or not—God sees you. And He is not done.

    You may not have chosen the pain in your past—but you can choose your next step. As Michelle says, “There is always a yet.” And God is in the business of turning that “yet” into your next.

    Hold on. Healing is possible. With God’s help, you can learn to live, hope, and love again.

    Listen to the full first episode with Michelle here: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-f52fe-16f28e1

    Learn more about Gabrielle’s Wings or support Michelle’s nonprofit: gabrielleswings.com

  • Boundaries During the Holidays

    Boundaries During the Holidays

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
    Over-Functioning During the Holidays: Why Boundaries Matter More Than Ever

    Do you dread the holidays—not because you don’t love your people—but because you're already feeling stretched thin, emotionally exhausted, and maybe even a little resentful?

    You’re not alone.

    This week, Leslie Vernick and Coach Diana unpack what it looks like to stop over-functioning during the holidays by learning how to set boundaries—clearly, kindly, and biblically. From role-playing difficult conversations to exploring the internal guilt and fear many women wrestle with, this episode is packed with faith-filled insight and practical tools to help you protect your peace and prioritize what matters most.

    If you’ve ever felt selfish for saying “no” or guilty for disappointing others, this conversation will give you the clarity and courage you need to love well—without losing yourself.

    Key Takeaways1. Boundaries Are God’s Design, Not Rebellion

    Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re sacred. God set boundaries in creation, and He calls us to do the same. Boundaries reflect His nature of order, peace, and love. When we set boundaries, we’re not being harsh—we’re honoring God’s call to steward our time, energy, and hearts.

    "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." – Proverbs 4:23

    2. Love Without Boundaries Isn’t Love—It’s Control

    When we can’t say no, our yes becomes meaningless. Love that’s forced or rooted in fear isn’t love at all—it’s obligation. God never forces us into relationship with Him. He invites, never invades. In the same way, healthy love must include freedom and choice.

    3. Role-Playing Real-Life Scenarios Builds Confidence

    Leslie and Diana walk through real examples—like refusing to host Christmas, saying no to dog-sitting, or sticking to a spending limit. Each scenario highlights how to express a firm and loving no without over-explaining, defending, or absorbing guilt. These scripts show how clarity and compassion can coexist.

    4. You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s Disappointment

    Someone else’s sadness, frustration, or manipulation does not mean you’ve done something wrong. Healthy boundaries often expose unhealthy dynamics. When others push back, it reveals their reliance on your compliance—not your care.

    "Let them have their feelings. It’s not your job to manage their emotions—it’s your job to steward your obedience to God."

    5. Practical Tools for Calming the Guilt and Holding the Line

    You’ll learn how to:

    Prepare for pushback by getting clear with God ahead of timeUse breathwork and body-awareness to stay calm under pressureLet silence do the heavy lifting after you’ve stated your boundaryAnchor your identity in Christ, not someone else’s approvalUse simple scripts to hold a boundary without getting defensiveA Personal Invitation

    Are the holidays bringing up anxiety instead of joy? If you’re tired of the pressure to perform, please others, or over-function to keep the peace, Leslie’s resources can help you create emotional and spiritual breathing room.

    Register now for Leslie’s free workshop: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough Thursday, December 4th at 12pm or 7:30pm ET leslievernick.com/stuck

    Final Encouragement

    Friend, you don’t have to be everything to everyone this holiday season. You don’t need to hustle for love or sacrifice your sanity to make others happy. Boundaries aren’t walls to shut people out—they’re gates that let love in.

    You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say no—with kindness, clarity, and courage.

    And when you do? You’ll be saying a much bigger yes to God, to emotional wholeness, and to the kind of love that sets both you and others free.

    You’ve got this—with God’s help.

  • How to Discern a Safe and Godly Man

    How to Discern a Safe and Godly Man

    · Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

    How to Discern a Safe and Godly Man

    What does a safe and godly man truly look like? And how can you tell the difference between surface-level change and deep, lasting heart transformation?

    In this powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michael and Kristen Cary, founders of Living Truth and creators of Men in the Battle and Women in the Battle. Together, they unpack the hard but healing truth about what real repentance looks like in a man, how to spot red flags—even when he seems "nice"—and why women need to do their own healing work, whether or not their partner is changing.

    With raw honesty and biblical wisdom, this conversation offers practical tools to help women discern character, build clarity, and courageously walk toward truth and safety.

    Key Takeaways

    True Repentance Goes Beyond Behavior Management Real heart change isn’t just about stopping bad behavior—it’s about digging deep to understand the “why” beneath it. Men who are truly repentant aren’t just trying to avoid consequences; they’re broken over the pain they’ve caused, open to feedback, and willing to do the long, hard work of healing.

    Women Must Heal, Too Betrayal trauma doesn’t just disappear with his sobriety. Even if the sexual sin wasn’t yours, the pain and damage are real. Healing requires tending to your own wounds, setting boundaries, and stepping into the work of becoming whole again—regardless of what he chooses to do.

    Believe the Behavior, Not the Words Change is seen in fruit, not phrases. Many men can talk the talk—especially in Christian circles—but safety is shown through consistent actions: humility, accountability, respect for boundaries, and emotional maturity. If he gets defensive, blames, or minimizes your pain, those are red flags—not repentance.

    When “Nice” Isn’t Safe Just because he’s nice doesn’t mean he’s safe. Safety means he can hear your truth without punishing you. He respects your "no," honors your boundaries, and doesn’t manipulate with guilt, fear, or Scripture. A man who is truly safe will prioritize your emotional and spiritual well-being—not just try to keep the peace.

    The Pain Must Be His Teacher—Not Yours Sometimes the only thing that wakes someone up is the pain of consequences. Staying “nice” to avoid upsetting him often prevents the very growth that’s needed. Love does not mean enabling sin. Godly sorrow leads to repentance—not just sorrow over being caught.

    If You're Struggling to Discern the Truth


    If you’re unsure whether your marriage is just difficult, chronically disappointing, or truly destructive, don’t stay stuck in confusion. Leslie has created a free Quick Start Guide to help you gain clarity, take your next right step, and begin walking in truth.

    Download your guide here: www.leslievernick.com/guide

    To connect with Michael and Kristen Cary and explore their healing programs for men and women: Visit: www.living-truth.org

    Dear Friend, God is not asking you to sacrifice your safety, sanity, or soul to save a marriage that is wounding you. He calls us to walk in truth, not denial—to speak up, not shrink back.

    Even if he never changes, you can. You are not alone, and you are not powerless. With God’s help, you can move forward in wisdom, clarity, and courage—one brave step at a time.

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